Ok last nights BIG FAT OBNOXIOUS BOSS, was not particularly funny. I have spent the morning trying to be snarky and review it, but I kept re-reading this email sent in by one of our readers and decided it was too incredible to not post, and certainly nothing I could say would be more entertaining, incredible or jaw dropping than this.
So here is our BIG FAT OBNOXIOUS BOSS STORY OF THE WEEK sent in from C.W. in Bel Air, CA.
“When I first moved to Los Angeles, I got work as an assistant to a film producer whose name would be recognizable instantly to your readers. I won’t say who, but I will say he is married and has several statues honoring his work over the years.
Within a few weeks of working for him, it became clear he had a bit of an addiction problem. Addicted to drugs, addicted to sex, and addicted to hiding it all. He was having me pick up his kid, his dry cleaning and his coke all in the same run. One particular day off, as I was on my way to a movie, I get a page from the boss. I returned his call to find that he was in desperate need of “party favors” for an event he was hosting that night and needed me to detour from the movie to pick them up. Needless to say these were not the party favors we all had as kids. They were party favors that if came bundled in a brick and cost more than I have yet to make in my life.
When I delivered the “part favors” I was told to go get some alcohol and given a fist full of cash to pay for the newly obtained favors. I came out here to be an actress, not to do this. But how can I say no to a person in his powerful position. Day to day, I was nervous, but this day I was scared. He gave me the cash and a joint, and told me to “relax” and once I’m done, to take the night off. Keep in mind; this was a weekend, when I’m supposed to have the day off anyways.” On my way to the, well, drop off I was pulled over for speeding. I had the joint in plain site on the seat next to me and a bundle of cash was exposed that I couldn’t explain. I was arrested for misdemeanor possession. I had to spend 2 nights in lock up while the weekend passed since the courts were closed. When I got out I now had a record, I had to pay a fine, and as the ADA told me, due to the cash found on me “they will be keeping their eye on me.”
I went to jail for my boss, that year for Christmas as a bonus, he let me be an extra in one of his films. Which would be great if I was brand new to LA, didn’t know anyone and, I don’t know, DIDN’T FUCKING GO TO JAIL FOR HIM!! Currently, I have given up on acting and the industry as a whole. Learning from some of the many lady friends my boss had, I spent a couple years with men taking care of me, and ultimately have married rich. I guess I am now a Hollywood clichÃ©, but Ill never forget my wide eyed entry into Hollywood as an assistant the famous producer Mr. —-
You didn’t think I would actually tell do you?”
If you replace all the hollywood references with political ones, I would venture to guess the boss was former Texas Governer, George W. Bush. Initially skeptical, having exchanged emails with C.W. I am convinced this story is not only well told, but sadly…..true.
Anyone have any guesses as to who it was?
Anyone else out there have any Big Fat Obnoxious Boss stories? Let me know and selected entries will be included in future Big Fat Obnoxious Boss column.
Send stories to firstname.lastname@example.org