Twin Pukes

Miscellaneous TV

By B-Side | Friday, June 24, 2005 | 12:15 am | 13 Comments

lara_flynn_boyleAs people living in Los Angeles will tell you, spotting a celebrity is an everyday occurance (J-Unit sat next to Mark Wahlberg in traffic today), but on TVgasm we like to only share the most enjoyable television star sightings. Well, tonight I was at a nifty party at the Avalon Hotel (don’t get too impressed. It was all William Morris assistants gossiping with each other), when what should I see slinking by me? If you said “King Tut with a face lift,” you’d be close. Yes, our favorite mummified skeleton Lara Flynn Boyle took a cozy seat about six feet from my ass where she and her buddies chatted about agencies and whatnot (I only heard a fleeting reference to UTA).

Luckily, I did have my camera with me, but hey, even I have some class. I wasn’t about to run up to Lara Flynn Boyle and snap a photo (I only do that to reality stars, but that’s because they love it). My plan this evening was to act like I was taking a picture with fellow celeb-wrangler Spotdog, except our sneaky photographer would really be snapping a shot of LFB (not to be confused with ’90s pop sensation LFO). Unfortunately, we thought it would still be tacky and obvious, so we dropped the plan…for the time being.

Eventually L. F. Boy (or Elfboy) excused herself from her friends and after spending a few minutes wandering around the lobby like a lost puppy, trotted off to the bathroom. Well, this was perfect. By this point, we happened to be sitting right at the entrance to the pool area. When Lara Flynn Boyle returned, we would execute our plan. So we waited. And waited. And waited. After about ten minutes, we realized the actress was up to something, and taking a shit was not high on our list.

Well, a plucky girl that was with us (and was completely naive to any of this mild Lara Flynn Boyle stalking) excused herself to go to the bathroom. About two minutes later, she returned all excited and bubbly. “Oh my god! Guess who was in the bathroom next to me?” she squealed. We immediately answered “Lara Flynn Boyle” with that haughty “I know the punchline” tone. But this girl wasn’t simply starstruck. She continued: “She was just puking in the bathroom! She was in the stall next to me, and all I could hear was [simulated vomit noises].” Yes, Lara Flynn Boyle: hurling at the Avalon. Now who knows what may have caused this gastrointestinal malaise. A little bit of the flu? Some bad seafood? Bulimia? We can’t say. But like a good Irish girl, she eventually rebounded and headed directly to the bar for another drink. That’s the spirit!

And no, we never got our photo.

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13 Comments

  1. 1
    Fuzzbait
    Posted June 24, 2005 at 1:29 am

    Yeech….She’s so thin you have to take a head on photo of her. If it were from the side, she’d disappear. How did she and Jack Nicholson ever hug without her getting crushed?
    Ewww.
    A total Tootsie Pop look. Beeeg head, little stick body.

  2. 2
    SkinnyPimpin
    Posted June 24, 2005 at 4:12 am

    It would have been amazing if you were able to get a picture of the back of hear head, sprawled over the toilet bowl. Now THAT would have been an ultimate reality moment!! Or even beter, a picture from the bottom of the stall, looking up at Elfboy (that is the best!!) while she hovered over the rim with a dazed and vomit look!!!

    You really blew a great opportunity!!

    Oh well, I’ll settle for the Elfboy line, it was funny enough!

    And keep up the terriffic investigative work while we languish in the summer heat waiting for the next installment of TAR!!

  3. 3
    Josh
    Posted June 24, 2005 at 5:36 am

    You know, Elf-boil is just as funny and slightly more accurate phonetically.

  4. 4
    Lady J
    Posted June 24, 2005 at 7:26 am

    Ibrehem from the last “Survivor” got on my subway car yesterday evening. I recognized his body before seeing the face. Heh.

    And I passed Eric Nies from the original “Real World” on my way to work a few weeks ago.

  5. 5
    shelley
    Posted June 24, 2005 at 8:14 am

    What the hell did she eat that took ten minutes perge?

    Mmmmmm…Ibrehem…ahhhhhhhh!

  6. 6
    spotdog
    Posted June 24, 2005 at 9:31 am

    B-Side: I may have procured a photo from another girl at the party after you left last night.. It unfortunately does not include us, (as my vanity weaps), but it will at least have the Original Skelechick™. I’ll forward along as soon as I get it. -spot

  7. 7
    Caty
    Posted June 24, 2005 at 9:47 am

    Long time listener, first time caller…

    Love it. I absolutely love it! Can I ask, though, what Elfboy has been in recently besides the bathroom?

  8. 8
    meeshie
    Posted June 24, 2005 at 11:42 am

    Wow that’s so incredibly sad. Ugh. What a terrible way to live.

  9. 9
    Jadair
    Posted June 24, 2005 at 12:22 pm

    B-Side, that’s f*cking hilarious! Your posts are the only way I get though the work day. I have something funny to point out – On the first episode of Fat Actress, Kirstey Alley consults a three-named diet guru played by Kelly Preston. The guru tells her to lose weight by barfing, and tells her to gag herself only with pretty things. The Preston character is modeled after LFB – she has dyed black hair and is wearing the infamous pink tutu. On the DVD Commentary for Fat Actress, Kirstey Alley even points out that the characted is modeled after LFB. Methinks this ain’t the first time LFB has puked in a public toilet!

  10. 10
    ali
    Posted June 24, 2005 at 3:04 pm

    Oh my god? Lara a bulemic? Who wouldda thawwt???

  11. 11
    rbeck1172
    Posted June 25, 2005 at 3:48 am

    No, she’s just scientolocgy thin.. L Don Rhubbarb has yet to feast upon the Boyle fortune. Wouldn’t you like to supp upon the ripe flesh of the plasma TV owners? I know I would, I got my “Just shoot me” water gun waiting for a fight, Yet the other girl had a nice fine rack…excuse me while I pull mu dick to the sky…Laura Szahn – zian-an-suk-my-dik-o

  12. 12
    D Brown
    Posted June 27, 2005 at 6:37 pm

    You know, she may or may not having a serious eating disorder, but I must say…I get really tired of having my intelligence insulted by the likes of LFB and Lohan in their comments that 1.) going off birth control caused the skeletron look OR 2.) losing her babyfat resulted in her looking like skeletron.

    That insinuates that there are women everyday dropping down to skin and bones when they grow up or end their gig with the pill. It’s insulting to our intelligence.

    Any woman who is living a healthy, normal, non-bullemic, non-anorexic lifestyle needs to IMMEDIATELY see a physician if they get that skinny. There is a good chance you have either A.) a serious illness OR B.) worms.

  13. 13
    Smoothie
    Posted June 29, 2005 at 4:46 pm

    Man, you guys have gotten awful. All this blog is about anymore is bragging about how you’re sort-of-vaguely connected into the LA scene… it’s really not that impressive.

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