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As people living in Los Angeles will tell you, spotting a celebrity is an everyday occurance (J-Unit sat next to Mark Wahlberg in traffic today), but on TVgasm we like to only share the most enjoyable television star sightings. Well, tonight I was at a nifty party at the Avalon Hotel (don’t get too impressed. It was all William Morris assistants gossiping with each other), when what should I see slinking by me? If you said “King Tut with a face lift,” you’d be close. Yes, our favorite mummified skeleton Lara Flynn Boyle took a cozy seat about six feet from my ass where she and her buddies chatted about agencies and whatnot (I only heard a fleeting reference to UTA).
Luckily, I did have my camera with me, but hey, even I have some class. I wasn’t about to run up to Lara Flynn Boyle and snap a photo (I only do that to reality stars, but that’s because they love it). My plan this evening was to act like I was taking a picture with fellow celeb-wrangler Spotdog, except our sneaky photographer would really be snapping a shot of LFB (not to be confused with ’90s pop sensation LFO). Unfortunately, we thought it would still be tacky and obvious, so we dropped the plan…for the time being.
Eventually L. F. Boy (or Elfboy) excused herself from her friends and after spending a few minutes wandering around the lobby like a lost puppy, trotted off to the bathroom. Well, this was perfect. By this point, we happened to be sitting right at the entrance to the pool area. When Lara Flynn Boyle returned, we would execute our plan. So we waited. And waited. And waited. After about ten minutes, we realized the actress was up to something, and taking a shit was not high on our list.
Well, a plucky girl that was with us (and was completely naive to any of this mild Lara Flynn Boyle stalking) excused herself to go to the bathroom. About two minutes later, she returned all excited and bubbly. “Oh my god! Guess who was in the bathroom next to me?” she squealed. We immediately answered “Lara Flynn Boyle” with that haughty “I know the punchline” tone. But this girl wasn’t simply starstruck. She continued: “She was just puking in the bathroom! She was in the stall next to me, and all I could hear was [simulated vomit noises].” Yes, Lara Flynn Boyle: hurling at the Avalon. Now who knows what may have caused this gastrointestinal malaise. A little bit of the flu? Some bad seafood? Bulimia? We can’t say. But like a good Irish girl, she eventually rebounded and headed directly to the bar for another drink. That’s the spirit!
And no, we never got our photo.