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Well, the Jackson verdict finally came out earlier today, and for those of you living under a rock (seriously, who lives under rocks?), he was found not guilty. Stealing the show, however, was one loony lady at the courthouse who released a dove every time the jury foreman said “Not Guilty.” Didn’t she realize that doves are more appropriate for Prince? And exactly what would this woman have done had Jacko been convicted? Would she have kept her doves in captivity? It seems awfully unfair for these birds’ lives to be dependent on whether or not Michael Jackson molested a little boy.
Luckily for MJ and the doves, freedom reigned in the Santa Maria courthouse, which meant that we could once again fixate on other Jacksonian questions like “What’s up with Michael Jackson’s face?” or “WHOA! What happened to LaToya’s face??”
Favorite Pre-Verdict Moment: Watching the Jackson caravan trying to get by some stupid white car en route to the courthouse. Seriously, how awesome to have the ENTIRE Jackson family tailgating you? I would totally speed up and then slow down.
Most Exciting Post-Verdict Moment: As cameras fixated on the courtroom doors, some lowly officer stood there, apparently unaware that the entire world was watching him. Excitement brewed as we wondered whether or not this guy would possibly scratch his ass in front of a global audience, but alas, he did not.
Favorite Reporter Reaction: Greta Van Susteren, who exited the courtroom as if she had just visited F.A.O. Schwartz for the first time.
What was your favorite part of the coverage?