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Monday, June 13, 2005
8:54 pm
40 Comments
Well, the Jackson verdict finally came out earlier today, and for those of you living under a rock (seriously, who lives under rocks?), he was found not guilty. Stealing the show, however, was one loony lady at the courthouse who released a dove every time the jury foreman said “Not Guilty.” Didn’t she realize that doves are more appropriate for Prince? And exactly what would this woman have done had Jacko been convicted? Would she have kept her doves in captivity? It seems awfully unfair for these birds’ lives to be dependent on whether or not Michael Jackson molested a little boy.
Luckily for MJ and the doves, freedom reigned in the Santa Maria courthouse, which meant that we could once again fixate on other Jacksonian questions like “What’s up with Michael Jackson’s face?” or “WHOA! What happened to LaToya’s face??”
Favorite Pre-Verdict Moment: Watching the Jackson caravan trying to get by some stupid white car en route to the courthouse. Seriously, how awesome to have the ENTIRE Jackson family tailgating you? I would totally speed up and then slow down.
Most Exciting Post-Verdict Moment: As cameras fixated on the courtroom doors, some lowly officer stood there, apparently unaware that the entire world was watching him. Excitement brewed as we wondered whether or not this guy would possibly scratch his ass in front of a global audience, but alas, he did not.
Favorite Reporter Reaction: Greta Van Susteren, who exited the courtroom as if she had just visited F.A.O. Schwartz for the first time.
What was your favorite part of the coverage?
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40 Comments
The Jackson caravan being blocked by a white car could only have been more surreal if it was a white bronco with some maniac trying to escape the rap for murdering his ex-wife….
oh wait…one too many miscarriages of justice bleeding into another. I suppose we’ll see Michael on the golf courses now trying to find the “real molester.”
Slumber party at Neverland Ranch tonight to celebrate, free jesus juice for all boys under 12. No parents or cameras allowed.
I figured loony bird lady was going to kill a dove every time Michael was convicted of something.
Wow..I still can’t believe he got off….(or did he…wasn’t that the question all along??..) I think he took a bottle of xanax before he got there..he was so out of it…even after he found out he could go home to his monkey and carnival friends back at the ranch, he looked stoned. My suggestion for him is to fall of the face of the earth, and/or die. Thanks for the music Mike, now go to hell you freaky bastard
Good call on LaToya’s face; she looks like she is transforming herself into Joe.
“I would totally speed up and then slow down.” HA!
I was pissed that I missed an entire episode of Judge Judy for that crap! Seriously, was it SUCH news that they had to block every channel with live feed?? I needed to watch Ms. Scheindlin berate some hick for lending money to another hick!!!
That said, I love the jurors who all but say, “We didn’t have the evidence legally, but we know he did it.”
The stupid dove throwing woman, typical California socialite.
Just another case of a rich white guy beating the system….oh wait…
My favorite part of the coverage was the title of this article! Good one!
The truly sad part is that there will be stupid, fame-intoxicated parents of young kids who convince themselves that this verdict means he actually didn’t do it and is safe and will let their kids spend time alone with him.
I’m just sorry for “his” children. They haven’t got a chance now.
The NY Daily News and the NY Post had identical headlines this morning: Boy, Oh Boy.
I don’t get it. After all these months, that was the best New York’s tabloid headline-writers could do?
Thank you for writing the headline this acquittal truly deserved . . .
The writers here are funny and so many of the readers are too. Michael trying to find the real child molester….hehehehhehehehee.
My favorite part of the coverage, the fans. Evertime the cameras showed the fans it was like I was watching Comedy Central. They were great. That one lady who kept fainting went the extra mile for Mike. I loved them & only wished they had gotten more coverage.
And I’m also going to miss the actors of E! who replayed the days events. I truly believed that was MJ & his folks I was watching. The judge & “Jay Leno” & don’t even get me started on the “Tom Mesareau” actor, he had me believe I was watching the real thing.
(Watch out everybody! He’s mounting his high horse!)
I like the jury saying, “We didn’t have the evidence legally, but we know he did it,” too. It gives me hope that if my long-haired, multi-pierced ass is ever hauled into court for something I didn’t do, I might actually skate despite looking like a freak, having all my porn seized, and a parade of axe-grinding witnesses who have jack-all to do with my actual charges testifying against me. Like Homer Simpson might say, “Lousy legal evidence…”
And, no, I wasn’t there yesterday throwing my one-gloved handful of confetti into the air when the verdict aired. I happen to think Jacko is a world class whackjob and more than likely a full-tilt pedophile. But the disconnect between the facts of this case and the reaction of the public to the verdict is fascinating to me. Polls are showing that big majorities of respondees are surprised/disappointed by the verdict even though almost every legal talking-head on the tube has been saying from Jump Street that this is a painfully weak case and that MJ would most likely moonwalk (sorry, it was either that or the already overused “beat it”).
They had to try the case they were given, it just wasn’t a good enough one…even for a jury apparently favorably disposed toward conviction.
The lady with the doves would rub her breasts and act like she was in religious ectasy every time they’d read a new verdict. It was nasTAY.
First of all: kick-ass comment, Helenann. Way to capture the true spirit of this fiasco.
Secondly: relax Citizens of Justice…Mark my words, it’s just a matter of time until a child comes forward with irrefutable evidence that’ll send Michael straight to his medicine cabinet for “one too many” pills. And then justice will prevail.
Glad to see Richard Gere has gone into the sign making business with the one sign I saw apologizing to Michael on behalf of all mankind.
i do feel sorry for michael in one regard….poor guy has to rebuild his porn stash FROM SCRATCH.
Headline in French Montreal paper this Morning — Jackson Blanchit !!!
( Jackson ” whitened “)
Can u hardly wait until Jacko crowd, maybe even The Gloved One himself, go on the Larry King Show !!
I think Michael Jackson is a freak but if we’re gonna be putting people on trial I think we should start with the STUPID fucking people who let their children stay with an accused child molester! Who are these people? They should be shot!
at least it was a white jury that fucked up this time LOL!!!
We all know he did it, including most of the jury. His family won’t admit it because he is their gravy train. Anyone who read the 93 deposition from that vic that he paid off can see that he is clearly a pedophile. Sad that they didnt present a stronger case. I was looking forward to Jacko’s Tree-House Arrest. But I had a feeling this equally wackjob mother of the vic would screw it up ultimately.
I always say Karma is a mothereffer, and someday he will reap what he sowed.If we are lucky, he will move to Europe, never to be heard from again.
Bacardi, what the hell, “at least a white jury fucked up this time LoL!!!” So, who fucked up the last time. And sorry, there were many hispanic on the fucking jury. Duh!
Beyond,
I was refering to the black jury fucking up the OJ verdict. Everyone knows if it were a black jury on this case with this verdict, race would’ve been the assumption for the not guilty verdict. Calm down before you catch a stroke.
Anyway… first OJ, then Robert Blake now MJ. It’ll be interesting to see which celeb gets away with what crime next. They seem to be above the law now.
Bacardi, I get that part of where people would bring in the race thing. But I clearly see where this and the other cases are of jury being blinded by celebrity. I honestly think that Michael Jackson is one sick being. I was really hoping for a guilty verdict. I think that he needs to be stopped. But I also feel that the parents of the victims should also be on trial. They are pimping out their kids, how sad.
there’s definate guilt on both sides… It seems these parents send their children to Neverland in hopes of their child getting molested resulting in an eventual big payday for them… not for the child but for the parent. Pimping them out is right!
My favorite part is where the national news interrupted All My Children to tell us there was a verdict and that they would come back on in an hour to tell us what it was. Then five minutes later, the local news came on to tell us exactly NOTHING for an hour while we watched the motorcade. Come on people, Dixie may or may not be back from the dead! And they interrupted at a crucial part! And they are never gonna repeat it!
On another not, apparently, you can rape/murder/molest, but for the love of God don’t sell bad stock, cause they’ll lock your ass up for that.
omg hillarious comentary i couldn’t watch it cause my tv is broken. from now on im going to visit your site for news thats entertaining now because
Regarding the first poster, I agree that Michael will be hanging out at golf courses looking for the “real molester.”
More like putt-putt golf courses … that’s where all the kiddos go.
Victoria-very similar experience here! Is it really Dixie, or did David do something to botch the fingerprints? I’ve missed a couple of days..
Also- Soapnet plays all the weeks’ episodes on the weekend.
Kelley, I heard that AMC is trying to get Cady McClain, the original Dixie, back, so I guess how this story plays out all depends on that. I can’t wait! I’m watching it right now, and this ‘Dixie’ is talking about stuff with Tad that David never would have been able to tell her.
Victoria- I hope ‘Dixie’ runs Amanda off. She bugs. Do you watch GH?
Kelley-I HATE the new Amanda. Why is she such a whore? Please don’t let her have any kind of romance with J.R. Remember when they brought Tim back like two years ago and he hinted at Janet’s relapse, and then completely fell off the face of the earth? I watch all ABC soaps, all my life, since I was in the womb.
Victoria, from what im reading it will be amanda hooking up with aidan. Which im really hoping for, he and Anita are so boring. Also, ive been reading where Cady has no plans of yet coming back to AMC. But all signs are pointing for Kelly(Di) being Dixie. I hate this story line, It was thrust upon the audience in such a awkward way.
My favourite part of the coverage? The end of it!!
I was reading an article, I think it was on cnn, lamenting the fact that not enough people watched the trial re-enactments or news about the trial and wondering how we can get ratings up for celeb trials in the future. wtf?!? this is a trial, not a Nick and Jessica variety hour…who cares if many people watch or not? What we need to work on is ensuring crazies with doves around all high profile events to add color and insanity. Now that would make watching publicity worthwhile.
beyondthoughts: Cady probably doesn’t want to come back, because she knows she’s not old enough to be anyone’s grandmother. I hate how the soaps play fast and loose with everyone’s age, so that you have people whose ages are all over the map getting together. Aidan is way too old for Amanda, and while I agree he is boring with Anita, him and Amanda would be disgusting. I hope someone sticks Amanda down an abandoned well.
Victoria-
do you know what the big secret is that made Jess/Tess emerge? I can’t find a good spoiler site for OLTL.
POOR DOVES – I live in a place where they have a lot of weddings with doves let loose. Those poor doves don’t know how to find food and they end up starving. There is a little old lady that gets them out of the trees and saves them but she can’t save them all.
Kelley: Apparently Tess was around as far back as when Jessica had her baby. Tess is the one that ran Dorian down in her car. Now I’ve heard two different things about when she came out; the first is that Tess emerged when Jessica lost the baby and the second is that Tess is the one that made Jessica sleep with Will in the first place. They can’t both be true, but it goes back that far if not farther.