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Wednesday, March 15, 2006
1:18 pm
11 Comments
Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Just last August, one of our beloved Power Rangers entered the world of tabloid scandal when he was accused of a gruesome double murder involving a yacht, two old people, and an anchor of death. Now comes word of a new Power Ranger scandal. According to Pink is the New Blog and Fleshbot, former Red Power Ranger Austin St. John has found a new career in gay porn. Allegedly. Nothing has been confirmed, but a man called “Brock” has surfaced on a website called SeanCody.com, which features amateur man-on-man action, among other things. The similarities are striking, but we won’t sign off on this until we see current photos of the former Power Ranger (isn’t it ironic that his stage name sounds more porn-tastic than his porn name? I mean, Austin St. John?).
Nevertheless, all these shenanigans got me thinking. What other cruel fates might befall the other former Power Rangers? Our predictions after the jump…
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Walter Jones, The Black Ranger: After a few cheeky appearances on VH1′s twelfth iteration of I Love The ’90s, Walter will attempt to earn some street cred by releasing the hip-hop single, “Ho’ Ho’ Pimpin’ Ranger.” Sadly, the song will never find mass appeal, and so Walter will shoot himself nine times in an attempt to gain the same street cred as 50 Cent. The plan will go severely awry when he shoots himself in the temple. |
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Amy Jo Johnson, The Pink Ranger: The most successful of the former Rangers, Amy Jo has spent the past ten years toiling away on TV shows such as Felicity and ER, to name a few. However, she will be thrown into the international spotlight when she drunkenly crashes her car into another vehicle, killing the other driver. That driver? THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND. Way to go, Pinky. |
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Jason David Frank, The White Ranger: Jason David Frank will finally succumb to years of injuries endured from fans who’ve attacked him thinking he was the evil spawn of Steven Seagal, Dan Cortese, and Howie Dorough of The Backstreet Boys. |
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David Yost, The Blue Ranger: In 2000, David Yost starred in the TV movie, After Diff’rent Strokes: When the Laughter Stopped as “Playboy Photographer.” Do I really need to hypothesize on his future? | |
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Thuy Trang, The Yellow Ranger: Actually, um, Tran died four and a half years ago in a car crash. So, uh, yeah. Kind of a comedy downer… |
11 Comments
^ Yeah, that’s some bullshit.
And I just looked up the Black Ranger, and the man is missing his middle finger on one hand. That’s rough!! Labelled “Black Ranger” in and out of work for probably the rest of his life and you can’t flip people off with both hands.
I will always remember Amy Jo for her work in the fine production Susie Q, whether she kills the Queen of England or not. (Does the Queen really drive herself around? Seems unlikely, except maybe while on a private estate.)
Now, you’ve got to get your colors right. Jason David Frank was first and foremost the Green Ranger. I forget what happened but he upgraded to the white ranger. Hey! You’re right The_Svan, they were racist! If only they weren’t so cool to watch…
Wow, I definately did not know that Trini died. That’s actually really depressing right now… aww
i wonder what the replacements for Trini, Jason and Zach are doing now… i think they were… Ayesha, Rocky, and Adam?
wow im sad… im gonna go crawl into a hole for the rest of my life for knowing that lol
I am just happy EdHill let you use his LOGIN ID and PASSWORD on this site so you could see the film in full. I applaud you EdHill!
B-Side, your enclopedic knowledge of T.V. sometimes scares me.
Make that “encyclopedic”. Gees.
The comedy punchline to all this is the big catholicmatch.com ad on the side of the page.
I hope they paid up front.
That Brock guy doesn’t look like Austin St. John. Face looks different.
I just found out Austin St. John shares a birthday with our favorite leering reality show contestant.
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1864458/bio
I don’t know if it means anything, but it’s interesting nonetheless.
Show some of the porn on the site, and let us decide. Nothing wrong with a little gay porn on a slow night, right?
KH