L-R: Pathetic, Idiotic, Desperate
Hello again, Miss Advised superfans! ;- ) It’s your homegirl Pillania back to chronicle another installment in the series HRG (His Royal Gayness Andy C) was ill advised to greenlight. Do you like what I did there? ;- )
Prologue/Thoughts at Large: I’ve done a lot of thinking since last week’s premiere episode. Not because this show challenged my mind and nourished my soul, but because, as I mentioned in the comments from the last week, my television died not 12 hours after the premiere episode/trainwreck aired. Coincidence? I don’t believe in those. Due obligations such as going to work, the beach, and some bars, and to being generally broke, I was TV-less for several days. It was a horror I hope none of you ever have to face.
Anyway, I came to the conclusion that the reason this show sucks is because it’s attempting to make us care about the dating lives of half-wits who lack the qualities that make reality TV fun. They don’t interact with one another, so there’s no in-fighting. They lack self-awareness but not in the way that makes someone like Sheree Whitfield so amazing to watch. Julia is horrendous but not in the way that makes the Jersey wives so fascinating. Amy is icy and controlling but not in the way that makes Tabatha such a treat. As Derek Hazelton pointed out in the comments last week, Miss Advised simply chronicles the personal lives of desperate people who can’t maintain a relationship, yet make a career of doling out cliched love advice to others.
Anyway, I won’t keep you waiting another moment. On with the recap! ;- )
EMILY (San Francisco)
Over at the “Sex with Emily” radio show, Emily is speaking with a guest named Ray Luv about interracial dating. I guess this is supposed to be another one of her groundbreaking topics. He asks her out, and even though she’s not into it, she says if you’re going through a dry spell, you should say yes to every invite you get. Even if it’s from someone who spells the “Luv” in his name like the diaper brand.
In her next scene, Emily has made the logical choice of wearing a fox fur vest to the dog park to meet her best friend, Ruby. The two met because they were dating the same guy, who happened to be the mayor of San Fran, at the same time. The fact that Emily became BFF with this potential rival must be a testament to how open-minded and cool she is. Emily says she’s been in a vortex of weird dates where she ends up with bisexual dudes who like to be penetrated while playing Scrabble. Hey, to each his own, though I’m more of a Scattergories girl myself. ;- )
Whatever turns you on.
The two quickly go through a series of confusing stories about threesomes, going through a guy’s trash and finding another girl’s hair extension, and Ray Luv. She starts writing Ray Luv a blow-off text, but accidentally sends it before it’s complete. That sucks, but not as much as autocorrect errors. I once made made a series of unfortunate spelling errors that resulted in autocorrect asking my boss if she had HIV.
Anyway, Ray Luv calls Emily a day or so later and invites her out for that evening. Emily agrees because of her aforementioned dry spell. On the date, when Ray Luv asks Emily what kind of man she looks for, she said she doesn’t have a checklist (LOL), she just wants someone she clicks with. She actually ends up semi-liking Ray Luv, who should have quit while he was ahead. Instead, he takes her to a strip club to meet some of his friends. Emily seems truly uncomfortable, but I’m left wondering how this could possibly be worse than the Scrabble player. She leaves, having learned not to let someone guilt you into going out with them. I’m sure this will be a long-lasting, profound, and life-changing lesson.