Miss Advised Recap: Are You Lonesome Tonight?

Recaps

By Pillania | Tuesday, June 26, 2012 | 7:00 am | 15 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Miss Advised, Recaps

The foursome head to the beach to play volleyball, where Julia begs overdramatically to be picked first for teams (four people divided by two teams = two people/team, but okay). She is just truly an obnoxious, loud, unappealing person. After the game, she makes Chris go for a walk/carry her partway down the beach. He meets several of the qualities on her checklist (remember? It only had 73 pieces of criteria), including being adventurous. Because nothing says adventure like a four-person volleyball game and walk along a beach. She asks a series of inappropriate questions like who he usually dates and who pursued who in his past relationships. She admits she can be forward sometimes, but Chris says he thinks that’s a good thing. Good job reading those Bravo cue cards, Chris! Keep up the good work and next thing you know, HRG will be asking you to be the guest bartender on Watch What Happens Live.

The little mini-segment during commercials is of the guys seeing Julia’s pink princess room (complete with “Princess Parking Only” sign). When I was 4 years old I wouldn’t even have wanted a room like this. The guys are appropriately turned off, but what’s most significant about this scene was that at this point I realized it was 10:42, and only had to endure 18 more minutes of this nonsense. ;- )

“The only people who should be forced to spend 18 minutes with me are war criminals.”

The double date continues at Julia/JP’s place. They cook dinner and Julia continues to interrogate the guys about dating. Why can’t she just carry on a normal first date conversation? Where’d you go to school….where are you from….brothers/sisters…etc. Side note, this date started at like 10 am and it’s now pitch black. The minutes have been feeling like hours to me, so they must have felt like centuries for JP, Todd, and Chris.

JP suggests they play spin the bottle Of course, Julia obnoxiously cheers this idea like a frat guy witnessing his first keg stand. When Julia spins, it lands on Chris, and he chastely offers his cheek. He also refuses to kiss her when he spins and it lands on Julia. Excuse me Chris, if that is your real name, your acting career will require you to kiss many people you don’t feel attracted to, so might as well start now.

“That SAG card better be worth it, ANDY COHEN.”

Epilogue: Julia continues to screech about not getting a kiss. As the guys are leaving, Julia keeps jumping on Chris like a manic idiot, begging him to kiss her. I think the editors, who keep cutting to JP giggling, expect us to think this is funny. Honestly, it was so uncomfortable, pathetic, and every synonym for desperate in the thesaurus. This is why this show isn’t enjoyable. The girls’ situations aren’t endearing, charming, or funny. They are embarrassing, cringe-worthy, and sad.

What did you think, everyone? Will this show survive until next week? I certainly hope so, because it seems like Emily is taking what seems to be a riveting trip to Montana. Will my new TV commit suicide after being exposed to this show again? See you in the comments!

Winky faces,

Pillania ;- ) ;- )

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Pillania
About

Picture the most luxurious lifestyle you could imagine, then multiply that by 50.

Now you have begun to understand Pillania, a hypochondriac/grad student/waitress/TV watcher who recently moved back in with her parents while she completes her degree program. She is constantly getting into jams, including but not limited to being "trapped" in the garage of people for whom she was housesitting, causing an accident inside of a car wash, and spilling soda all over her state representative's head whilst serving him at the restaurant.

15 Comments

  1. 1
    aliens.rock aliens.rock
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 10:08 am

    I don’t watch the show, but I started reading recaps.
    These women seem so desperate, it’s ridiculus…And taking a woman to a strip club – on the first date to be exact.WTF!!!???
    I am not a prude, but I just don’t understand the idea of women going to strip clubs…if I want to stuff dollar bills into someone’s sweaty underwear, I’d just stuff it down my own…Ithink that American women got brainwashed into believing that attending strip clubs with guys is egdy and cool. Unless you are a lesbian, looking at fake tits and overstretched G-strings in a group of drunk guys with hard ons is just pathetic.

  2. 2
    Honeybee
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 11:00 am

    I sincerely hate when people idolize SATC; especially Carrie. Carrie was a shallow, self-centered, idiot. The ideas that she had about what makes a lasting relationship are that of fairy tales. She wanted the “idea” of a relationship, as long as it fit into her “ideal” (so did Charlotte). However at least the Charlotte’s Character comes to realize all the rules and lists she made for the perfect mate really didn’t matter at all. Carrie never did, never grew and in all is a sucky character.

    In the first couple of seasons, it was amusing (I was also in my early 20′s, but watching it now makes me cringe). When it started to get to the meat of the characters (and the movie that followed) it showed her as being a flighty nit-whit who thought a lasting relationship was rainbows and butterflies. And idiot women like Juliet are the exact same.

  3. 3
    maryedith
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 11:28 am

    Does this show come across as scripted as it sounds in the recaps? It sounds like each girl says one thing and does the opposite, right? I can’t bring myself to watch it, but it sounds so fake that I’m wondering why anyone would even bother to critique the women’s behavior.

  4. 4
    Big Lamb
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 11:41 am

    so blessed to be mentioned

    I fell asleep watching YAWN so thanks for the recap!

  5. 5
    NotWithoutMyTV notwithoutmytv
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 11:42 am

    I started an irrationally anger-filled rant against both SATC and this shitfest of a show, then decided no one needed hear that spew.

    Suffice it to say, I am not a fan of this kind of portrayal of women.

  6. 6
    Honeybee
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 11:46 am

    For the record, I have not watched a second of this crapfest. But I am LOVING the recaps and will read all of them as long as they continue.

  7. 7
    labowner
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 12:08 pm

    Emily the bay area is the most judgmental place on the earth. Get a grip.

    Is Julia real? If she is real, she needs some therapy. She reminds me of Melissa from Tough Love NO.

  8. 8
    NotAlway'sPerfekt
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 1:19 pm

    Pillania, thank you for the great recap! Hilarious! Luvs it!

  9. 9
    Tmurda
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 2:14 pm

    In her interviews, Julia talks exactly like Mira Sorvino in “Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion”, no? I keep waiting for her to say “Hi, my name is Romy, and I invented post-its”. These bitches are retarded, and doubt this show will last more than a few episode.
    Awesome recap, Pillania…keep it up!

  10. 10
    labowner
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 2:24 pm

    “The two met because they were dating the same guy, who happened to be the mayor of San Fran, at the same time.”

    Wow Emily, how many other whores besides you were fucking the very married Gavin Newsom?

    http://www.sfgate.com/default/article/AIDE-QUITS-AS-NEWSOM-S-AFFAIR-WITH-HIS-WIFE-IS-2620226.php

  11. 11
    ninad
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 3:05 pm

    It is so blatantly obvious why these morons are single

  12. 12
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 5:05 pm

    Once again, thank you for watching this so we don’t have to.

    So agree that it might be better if there were some interaction among the women. Marginally. I can’t believe that any of them can walk and breathe at the same time.

    Do they?

  13. 13
    RHhater
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 8:07 pm

    Yet another addition to the Bravo Hates Women exhibit.
    No matter how scripted or edited, these 3 “experts” have NO redeeming value.

  14. 14
    WaffleBoy
    Posted June 27, 2012 at 10:47 am

    Emily says she’s been in a vortex of weird dates where she ends up with bisexual dudes who like to be penetrated while playing Scrabble.
    Wow, that brings a whole new meaning to double word score. Also this is the moment I became a Boogle fan.

    And Ruby is Ruby Rippy-Tork? That is so awesome. To begin with most awesome name for a woman in a political sex scandal ever. I also loved that Gavin Newsome thought that somebody named Ruby was going to keep things on the down low. I giggled for days when this story broke. mainly because I’m an awful person.

    Great recap. I don’t know how you are making this mess entertaining, but great job. Thanks!

  15. 15
    Amanda
    Posted June 29, 2012 at 5:58 am

    I could NOT get over Amy’s annoying calorie-counting on her date. Do you think Bravo will ever address her budding eating disorder? It’s definitrely not normal to mention calories that much on a date and it seems to actually ruin her time thinking about it. Those FACES! She seems legitimatly OFFENDED at the chicken pot idea, but can’t you imagine shoving one in her face late night, in her closet?

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