Mob Wives: Busted

Welcome back to Mob Wives! Considering everything that happened in this episode, it was pretty freaking boring. I mean stuff happened but, Renee’s drag queen drama gets really old after a while.

You will never stop me from screaming, crying, and generally bringing the drama.

We open with my favorite bitch, Drita getting a pedicure with her friend Michelle. She discusses how life with Lee pretty much turned her into a gypsy. Basically, he got busted and she lost everything and had to sell the house. She is very angry with him (deservedly so), and doesn’t want to have to be the one to tell Aleeya how much longer he will be in jail. Then, she cracks a joke about her the name of her nail polish being “bail money.”

Karen is still trying to convince us that she is a worthwhile person with something important to share. So, she meets with a writing coach and shills her book ideas. She talks some about her life as her father rose and fell in the mafia. She even finds a way to make her drug dealing the fault of the Mob that turned their back on her.  See, I’ll bet you didn’t think I could find a way to make her come off badly, and yet it was totally easy. Anyway, the writing coach gives her an assignment to keep a journal and go back and visit her old haunts.

Renee is stressed out about her horrible wig and make-up, so she decides to go fur shopping to make herself feel like a prettier drag queen. She talks about how she got her first fur coat when she was 7 and that for her, owning a fur is a sign that you have arrived. Arrived where? She wasn’t very clear about that part. I assume it means that you headline your own drag show.

I have arrived and I am FABULOUS! Just ask my backup dancers.

So, Karen and her cousin go visiting her old stomping grounds…I’m sorry guys. Do you even care about this? Because, I totally don’t. Let’s skip back to Renee. She is trying to get AJ to open up for the camera.

As a drag queen, Renee is well aware of the fact that she must bring the drama. Otherwise, what’s the point? So, she is encouraging AJ to share his innermost feelings about his father’s behavior. The problem is that AJ is like any other 16 year old boy who doesn’t want to share his deepest secrets with his mother at all. He especially doesn’t want to do so in front of a camera.

Gawd Ma! When are ya gonna accept that I don’t want to be part of the act?

Seriously, Renee. Think back to when you were a 16 year old boy with visions of fishnets and thigh high boots dancing around in your head. I’ll bet you didn’t want to share with your mother either.

I can see the stage all lit up in lights. My show will be called “Really Renee!” The exclamation point is silent.

Anyway, Renee thinks he is bottling up his emotions and is going to explode. AJ seems to think that he is just fine and can control himself – which is a blessing considering his mother’s behavior. The scene does end sweetly though. With him teasing her by saying “don’t ask me to hug you.” And then him hugging her and trading “I love you’s.”

I won’t pressure to join the act anymore. Just keep on supporting me and all is good.

Drita and Aleeya are making Lee a scrapbook. After the way Lee behaved on the last episode, I have to say that he is one lucky bastard. Drita seems the type that could be just fine without him – especially since she has been doing fine all these years without him anyway.

Aleeya wants to know when he is coming home and Drita doesn’t want to be the one to tell her that it is going to be longer than they initially thought. Aleeya doesn’t want to visit because she hates the 6 hour drive and then to have to wait at the prison to see him. Aleeya starts writing Lee a letter and is crying. And, I have to say that my cold recapper heart actually melted. Then Drita started crying. And suddenly there were tears in my bag of Cheetos. It was bad Gasmii. Luckily, my husband came in and immediately started laughing at me being so sentimental over a reality show, so I pulled myself together.

It’s enough to melt the heart of even the most hardened recapper. Don’t judge me!

Now we get to the meat of the show.

Renee, looking more haggard and manly than usual, is trying to get AJ to find the news about the “Biggest Mob Bust in History.” 127 people were charged on 16 indictments. Apparently, Renee got a call from Junior’s girlfriend. And, at first Renee thought that Junior had got caught with another woman. OK. What the hell kind of relationship does Renee have with this guy that his current girlfriend would call her for consolation about another woman?

But, the real reason that Sara called was to say that Junior got arrested that morning.

Is that Jimmy Kimmel standing behind the Attorney General?

Renee is freaking out. She is trying to figure out who she should call, and get more information because they don’t even know where Junior was taken or what he was charged with.

AJ is completely over it.

I wonder if I can get her to order a pizza while she is on the phone?

Renee is trying to get information out of Sara. She wants to know about warrants. She is promising to do everything she can help.

Not only is AJ over it, he seems to be very perplexed by his mother’s dramatic antics and hysteria.

Sensing that she isn’t getting enough enabling of her hysterics and drag queen performance, Renee calls Carla for support. Her fervent belief is that Carla will drop whatever she is doing and run right over to comfort her. Carla is at the gym and will get back to Renee after she finishes her shower.

So, Renee has to go back to inappropriately over sharing her emotions with poor AJ. AJ doesn’t want any part of this soap opera and is doing his best to get away. She is begging him to talk to her even promising not to cry.

Pay attention to me! I am crying hysterically. I need your support!

I would feel bad for her, except she starts going into denial about maybe it not being that bad. I felt a little proud of AJ in that moment because he refused to let her wallow in that and says simply “it’s bad ma.” And, then he goes about his business.

I know I was kind of harsh about AJ last week when he was mouthing off to his mom. But, the fact that he knows when to disengage from his mother’s histrionics earned him a few points with me.

Drita is still reeling from the arrests. She hasn’t spoken to Renee since the fight they had at Carla’s party, but she puts it aside to call Renee anyway, because she wants to make sure Renee is ok.

I have to ask, do people affiliated with the Mafia assume that everyone else is envious of the lifestyle? Because this is the second time in as many episodes that we are reminded that the Mob lifestyle isn’t all glitz and glamour and that there is a downside to it. Do they think we are as touched in the head as they are? We totally know that shit is fucked up.

Anyway, Drita is waiting for her mom to come over so that she can head over to support Renee. Which…Does that mean that only Drita’s father disowned her, but she is still on good terms with her mother? I need some clarification on that one.

So, Carla shows up at Drita’s. The two of them don’t seem to be in any hurry to comfort Renee. Instead, the two talk about the kids and wives of the guys who get busted. They talk about how no one cares about that because the guys are criminals. Which, honestly? I love you Drita, and I get what you are saying. But, come on. Do the criminals care about the families they are destroying?

Yeah, our guys may ruin the lives of many innocent families, but they got kids too. Why doesn’t anyone care about that?

Anyway, while Renee is really amping up her self-induced, hysterical, drag queen drama crisis, the doorbell rings.

It’s Karen. There are a couple of ways that one could describe this scene. But, since this is my recap, I am going to describe it the way I saw it. Karen heard about the arrests and figured this would be Renee’s most vulnerable moment. So, she made a plan. 1. She would get plenty of extra camera time and be featured in the dramatic center of the episode. 2. She would use this opportunity to get Renee to totally forget about the fight she instigated at Carla’s party. 3. She would use this as a chance to get major props for having moved passed the Mob life on camera.

This is my chance to get prime air time. Don’t you dare ruin it by turning me away in your time of need.

I told you guys she was a stealth bitch. She is always looking for her moment. She totally used Renee’s hysterics and grief into a chance to say “see, I was right about everything.” “Now you have to forgive my shit because I showed up for you.” But, notice how she still manages to get in a dig about Renee being weak in her confessional? Yup. Stealthy bitch.

Renee completely falls for it because she is vulnerable and needy and the two are now BFF’s again and exchange “I love you’s” at the door.

I can’t believe the bitch bought it.

Drita and Carla decide to call Renee to see if she wants them to come over – as opposed to when she asked them to come over earlier. Of course, Renee has already had her hysterics validated by Karen, so she is all “Fuck off both of you.” You know, typical drag queen drama.

She rubs it in by telling them that Karen came over and it was really nice and now she needs to come down from all of the madness. Drita and Carla exchange WTF glances and are now irritated that Renee is not begging them to come over. You also have to wonder if they are thinking that Karen may actually be a stealth bitch, but they aren’t ready to acknowledge that yet.

What kind of stealthiness is that bitch up to? Do I know what stealthiness means?

Karen hacks out her book and calls her brother. She takes a minute from fame whoring to disinterestedly ask about her daughter, and then launches right back into exploiting her father’s history for the sake of her book and our entertainment.

I’m totally going to make bank and be outta here before these bitches have any clue what I was up to.

Renee brings her therapist up to speed. She expressing the appalling thought that, at one time, she actually wanted AJ to follow in her father’s and his father’s footsteps. Thank Goddess, she outgrew that nonsense. It seems that she is finally realizing that this is not the life she wants.

Except, next week, it looks like she can’t resist the power of having a goodfella at her command as she calls Junior to put a scare into some guy. Not sure how that works, since Junior was arrested and is currently on probation. But, drag queens are a curious lot sometimes.

So, what did you think Gasmii? Did this episode seem kind of anticlimactic? Where do you stand on Renee’s relationship with AJ? Am I the only person who absolutely can not stand Karen and her ridiculous smirks? Let me know.