Mob Wives: Da Book Gets the Veins a Popping

So, last time Renee decided to subject herself to Junior’s bullshit because he bought her some pumpkin seeds and fed her a line about how he wants to be with her and AJ – to the chagrin of Drag Queens everywhere. This week she gets her groove back with a little help from a sassy ex-boss and Ghostface Killah.

We start out with Carla practically throwing the kids in the car because they are going to pick up Joe from prison. You can just see Carla getting lighter with every step she takes towards not having to take care of these kids anymore.Too bad he has to stay at a halfway house and can’t quite take them off her hands just yet. But, at least she is planning to have Joe explain where he’s been and why. So, that’s one less responsibility on her plate.

Renee meets up with her former boss, Tiffany. Renee used to work for Tiffany as a wardrobe assistant. For some reason it does not surprise me at all that Renee’s first client was 50 Cent. I don’t know why, but she is so over the top that it makes perfect sense that this would be her thing.

Renee and Fiddy Go way Back!

She asks for a job AFTER telling her ex-boss about the Junior going back to jail drama. And her boss is so awesome because she is like, “you are a drama queen.” And Renee owns it flat out, saying she has a degree in Drama Queen.

Her boss is like, “you like the drama” and when Renee denies it, she calls bullshit. And it is just such an awesome exchange. Because Renee runs down the list of some of her drama – totally proving Tiffany’s point! I want to hang out with Tiffany!  She totally gives Renee the same look that I give her all the time.

Really Renee?

Tiffany is basically like, “I love you, but you are a drama loving bitch.” She totally has Renee’s number, but still can’t help but love her anyway. It’s like we were switched at birth!

See the resemblance?

Carla has Joe in the car and is talking to Drita about how crazy it is. Drita has a flashback to the last time she picked up Lee. It’s really kind of sad how Drita puts her life on hold for this guy. But, it’s the life she chose and she isn’t backing down from it. I have my own feelings on that, but there simply aren’t enough swear words out there to get my full point across.

Here comes Karen and her bitch face.

I call this one bitch face number 75

She and Renee catch up on the Junior situation. Apparently, Junior gave Renee a song and dance about how he is going to work on “them.” But then he is getting texts and calls from other women – IN RENEE’s HOUSE! She totally did this to herself. This is the drama queen in action! She needs him to treat her like shit so that she can complain to the people who warned her about how all of this was going happen. Just like I have been saying since the beginning, she THRIVES on this drama and I’m sure everyone around her knows it.

Carla is taking the kids back home after dropping Joe off at the halfway house. Little Joe is crying because he only got a couple of hours with his dad before they dropped him at the halfway house. It’s kind of sad and Carla has him call Joe on the phone so that he will stop crying.

Drita meets up for drinks with Karen’s bitch faced self. Karen is not sure whether or not she wants to stay in Staten Island. This is bullshit. She isn’t the least bit conflicted. She is going to stay because she wants to do a second season and none of this ever had anything to do with her “book.”

Renee has exhausted her friends with her drama so now she is bitching to someone she pays to listen to her. Her therapist is telling her that she needs to be the person to break this bullshit cycle that she is in.  Renee is really disgusted and disappointed with herself, and NOW I actually feel sorry for her. Because even when you know it’s your own fault it is painful to have acknowledge how disgusted and angry you are with yourself.

I know you are paying me, but damn! Bitch you are fucked up!

Renee and AJ go out to eat. Poor AJ. Man, it must suck to have to deal with this type of drama all the time. He makes a joke about the restaurant saying, “you got Frankie Two Times over there, and Johnny Nuts over here.” It’s really cute.

And he has an actual smile on his face. It’s adorable. I know I have given him shit in the past about the way he talks to his mother, but sometimes I really do feel for him – I mean imagine having an aggressively over sharing drag queen for your mother? It would drive most people to drink or possibly run away to join a gypsy circus. And I’m saying this as someone who actually LOVES Renee; you know when I don’t want to smack the shit out of her for her ridiculous antics.

Awww. A drama free moment for AJ.

Anyway, Renee talks about how she used to want him to follow in her father’s footsteps, but she has seen the error of her ways. She wants him to commit to going to college and getting away from this life. AJ, has never had any intention of going into that life. I’m pretty sure he has been counting the days until he got out of the “family home” so that he could move away from all that crazy. Seriously, he probably has a passport and a bag packed just waiting for the opportunity to escape.

Drita meets up with bitch-face Karen. Karen talks about how the book is starting to come together. She presents Drita with the first chapter. She says that it’s so that Drita can feel comfortable asking her any questions she wants about the book.

This is sure to cause just the right amount of drama!

But, we know that she is just doing this because everyone is getting along and she needs to stir up some drama. Or, maybe I’m biased because of her past behavior.

You guys knew this photo was going to pop up somewhere, in this recap.

Drita isn’t sure what to think about this. Now, all of the stuff they talked about with Lee is starting to bubble to surface in Drita’s mind. Drita says she wants to read it, but I don’t think she really does. I think she is just trying to stay positive in the current situation.

Renee is getting back to work. She gets a call from Ghostface Killah, of the Wu Tang Clan. He wants her to help style him for a video. And she is excited. The thing I get from Renee is that when she is doing something like styling someone for a video or being in charge of things, she is in her element. And as she is on her way to style him, I wonder if we will get to see more of her in that type of setting. We need to see more of this Renee, or the Renee who loves to party and have fun. That’s the Renee that is worth watching and is actually interesting.

She gives him something called a Power Balance? Is that like that shit Madonna was doing a couple of years ago? Where they give each other bracelets? They joke about ankle bracelets and finding balance in life. Renee is just so cute during all of this. You can see that she knows what she is doing and she loves it.

A working drag queen is a happy drag queen!

Lee calls to help Aleeya with her homework. Aleeya asks him how he felt about being ratted out by his friend. And Lee talks to her – not about how he should have been a better person, but about how it was horrible to be betrayed by a rat. It really irritates me because Drita told her that if he hadn’t been doing bad things and hanging out with bad people, there wouldn’t have been anything for him to be ratted out on. But, he feels like the problem was the guy who told and not the bad things they did.

That’s nice Lee. You kiss your cell mate with that mouth?

The conversation gets worse, because she asks him if he knows when he will be coming home. At least, he doesn’t talk to her the way he talked to Drita when she asked the same question. I mean his language was bad enough when he talked about the rat, the last thing we need is to hear him refer to her as a dirty c***!

She reminds him that he said he would be home when she finished 5^th grade and she is in 4^th grade now. He doesn’t even know what grade she is in? And he talks to her every night? Maybe he really is too stupid to know what his release date is.

Anyway, he says that he will be coming home soon. She says soon isn’t good enough anymore. And it’s sad. But, they don’t show us the rest of the conversation so we STILL don’t know.

What is the big state secret here? When you are sentenced, they usually give you a release date. Wouldn’t his lawyer know when he is getting out? Wouldn’t there be some type of database that would tell them when he is expected to be released? How can he keep this such a huge secret from even his family? So, either Lee really is too dumb to know when he is getting out, or he is lying because he is doing a lot longer stretch than he originally told his family.

Renee is packing Junior’s shit and kicking him to the curb! She calls him and leaves him a message to get his stuff and get out, because she is done (and in my mind, I hear Eryka Bahdu singing about how he better “call Tyrone”). She is no longer the door mat (I hope) that he can just walk all over whenever he feels like it.  It’s great but at the same time, I wonder how many times this exact same drama has played out in her life.

You better call Tyrone and tell him come own help you get yo shit!

So, Karen is bitching because Drita hasn’t gotten back to her about her stupid fucking book. Maybe she doesn’t give a shit like the rest of us Karen! Carla and Drita meet up for coffee. Drita is confused about the book. She doesn’t want to read it. She is worried that it might have something she doesn’t like. I can see why Drita is confused. Karen, back when she was posturing about how real she is, made it clear that she didn’t care what Drita thought when it came to bashing Lee. Even though Drita told her that this was about the father of her kids. So, Drita really does have to play this carefully when it comes to being Karen’s friend versus protecting the father of her kids.

I think Drita should just tell Karen that she thought it over but now she isn’t comfortable reading the chapter. Tell her that she is worried there might be something in there that would hurt their friendship and wish her luck with it. Of course that would just be more drama for Karen to stir up. Honestly, I don’t know how this could play out in a way that won’t cause drama. Which is what Karen’s aim was from the very beginning.

Drita (FINALLY) has gotten to a point that she doesn’t trust Karen. Drita was the one who helped her get back in and Karen was talking shit. And now she feels like that Karen is stirring shit up and needs to be ready for an ass whooping!

Next time, Drita finds out some shit about Lee. She also goes crazy on Karen because apparently there was some crazy two-timing going on between Karen and Drita’s boyfriend while Karen was dating Lee. Poor Renee is stuck in the middle and gets knocked over so that we can actually see her spanks.

No one needs to see that!

So, join me for the season finale! It looks pretty explosive.

Don’t forget that there is also going to be a reunion on July 10 hosted by Wendy Williams. I’ll be hosting a Live Tweet for the reunion, so if you aren’t already following TVGasm on Twitter, you need to get on that.

And, while you’re at it, you can follow me too (@PlathAddict)!