You guys know how much I hate Karen. But, CousinSuckUp? I can’t describe just how much I loathe her. Maybe it’s because she was never a part of the original crew. Maybe it’s because she winds Renee up in a way that even Karen never tried. Maybe it’s because she took her 11 year old daughter to visit some guy that she only knew for a few months while he was IN PRISON. Whatever the reason, I hate her. At least with Karen, her actions were totally obvious and transparent. Karen was trying to find a hustle that didn’t involve drugs or working a real job and I could hate her for abandoning her daughter to show her ass. With CousinSuckUp, it’s a whole other story. But, I am getting ahead of myself. Let’s dive into the show.
We pick up where we left off last week. The women were at the bar and Renee was rampaging about calling Junior to take her home.
That leaves Carla alone with CousinSuckUp and Karen who only want to talk about how much they hate my girl Drita. Karen reiterates how much she respects Carla’s loyalty to Drita, even though it’s obvious that CousinSuckUp wants to talk more shit to make Drita odd woman out. Carla, who seems to have some amazing coping mechanisms when it comes to rabid bitches, holds her own with out selling out her friend.
You know what Gasmii? I think that Karen is regretting that she threw her lot in with CousinSuckUp right about now. I personally think that no matter how many interviews she gives, Karen is wishing she had worked her shit out with Drita rather than trying to bring in a ringer. Mainly, because I think that Karen watches the show and reads the interwebs enough to know just how much people hate CousinSuckUp and how much better she would have been just making amends with Drita, having the fun with Big Ang (Yay!) and helping Renee past the crap that started going down.
Hindsight is a bitch, but when you are stubborn, you stick to the path you chose until it’s your neck on the line.
Anyway, after Renee head’s out screaming for Junior to come get her, and CousinSuckUp tries to get Carla to talk shit about Drita, Karen recommends karaoke.
I wonder if they were so awful that the producers decided not to air it, or if Carla was so awesome that we have yet another reality personality (I refuse to say star) cutting an album. Renee did say that Carla could sing during the Halloween escapades, so I will be on the look out.
Anyway, thank GOD we are back in Staten Island (have those words ever been said aloud before?) with Big Ang (Yay!) and Drita. Big Ang is recuperating from her thyroid surgery. It was the surgery that kept Big Ang from going on the trip – according to the show (I have other ideas, but I won’t second guess Big Ang’s explanations – I am her bitch after all).
Drita is there for support but it’s Big Ang who is making Drita laugh and generally feel good. Big Ang is the only woman in the world who could rock a neck brace and still be awesome at the same time.
Back in the Poconos, Renee decided to stay rather than leave the night before. She is glad that Junior was so far away because the guy with one nut would have been in huge trouble if Junior had come to get her. Since she is still angry and Karen obviously doesn’t care about Renee – she just needs Renee on her side, Karen pretends to listen to her. Then they decide to go shoot some guns. I don’t know, just go with it.
The women all go out to the firing range. Most of them are pretty decent shots, but Renee couldn’t hit the side of a barn. After trying multiple weapons, she finally hits her target and Karen smirks about how bad a shot Renee is.
The ladies head back to Staten Island. Does anyone else find it odd that even though this was Karen’s trip, Carla was the one doing the driving? I get that Karen most likely doesn’t have a car in Staten Island. But, since it was her trip you would think she would mooch a ride off someone who is closer to her than Carla, like Renee or CousinSuckUp. I don’t know, it just struck me as strange.
It’s now time for Renee to play the “Let’s make AJ as uncomfortable as possible on national television” game. It’s a weekly game and this time it involves AJ’s girlfriend.
AJ has a girlfriend you guys! Renee, Junior, and AJ have dinner with AJ’s girlfriend, Sydney. It’s supposed to be endearing but it seems a little awkward with Renee and Junior welcoming her to the family and being a bit too enthusiastic about the two of them declaring they love each other. Again, it may just be me and the fact that I’m old, but my parents tended to discourage us from thinking of long term relationships at the age of 17.
Anyway, sometime after dinner, Renee decides that the dinner wasn’t embarrassing enough, so she has to kick it up a notch. She decides to have “the talk” with her 17 year old son on national television. For all of the awkwardness it is still kind of cute. Because it’s so typical. AJ is obviously embarrassed because no one likes having that talk with their parents. It’s doubly embarrassing because no guy wants to have that talk with his mother – especially on television. It starts out with him just being disinterested.
But then, Renee says this:
And, AJ is pretty much begging her to just stop talking. Then suddenly they are laughing and she is chasing him around the house and that part was REALLY cute and made me love Renee again.
Drita and Carla go bowling and Carla tells Drita all about the big blow up when Renee confronted CousinSuckUp about what was said about Junior. She explains how Renee totally flipped sides when CousinSuckUp called Drita a liar. Carla also, very astutely, points out that for all of their talk about Drita molding Carla’s mind; it’s actually Karen and CousinSuckup who are molding Renee’s mind. Carla believes Drita and hates how everything got twisted.
Drita tells us that CousinSuckUp is totally faking the funk. She says that CousinSuckUp was the rich bitch who walked around all prissy with her nose stuck in the air and thought she was better than everyone else. NOW, suddenly she’s a fighter. Anyway, Drita says that she is going to talk to Renee because she didn’t want to tell Renee about what CousinSuckUp said, but Renee did ask her point blank and she wasn’t going to lie about it.
At some point Drita’s cousin asked Drita to be the face of her new swim wear line. So, Drita wants to get a spray tan before the photo shoot. OK, maybe it’s because I’m black that I don’t get this. What is the appeal of spray tans? I’m genuinely curious about that and will be looking for your responses Gasmii.
Anyway, Big Ang (Yay!) invites Drita over for some spray tanning fun. Big Ang is worried that Drita is going to look hot and she is going to look like an old douchebag. For a second I am angry that anyone would dare suggest that Big Ang is in anyway a douchebag – even if it is Big Ang herself. Then, she breaks out that totally infectious laugh and I laugh right along with her.
So the ladies strip down and Drita echoes the exact words that ran through my head when I see Big Ang in a bikini: “DAMN, Girl”. Seriously, Big Ang’s body is kind of hypnotic. The breasts are huge but mesmerizing. And her frame is actually so small that you wonder how she is able to hold herself upright.
Anyway, Drita does her cousin’s photo shoot. I won’t comment on the swim suits except to say they are not my style. But, Drita does have the body to pull them off. So the shoot goes really well and everyone is happy about with the outcome.
Alright, so this is a little out of sequence. I did it on purpose because I wanted to examine two things about CousinSuckUp’s awfulness side by side. So please be understanding about this.
Let’s discuss CousinSuckUp’s boyfriend and the inappropriate nature of the relationship she has foisted upon her four children. So, as we all know, CousinSuckUp’s boyfriend (a guy she only knew for a few months before moving her and her kids in with him) was arrested on major drug charges. It turns out that because CousinSuckUp was so quick to shack up with the guy and have him in her kids’ lives, the kids are still kind of devastated that he’s gone and they can’t see him whenever they want. In a non-criminal situation, this would be the equivalent of dating a guy, getting him involved with your kids and then breaking up with him. This is especially heinous to me because she talks constantly about how her kids have no contact with their father.
Her oldest daughter has asked to visit him in jail as a birthday present and CousinSuckUp debates this with Karen. Karen thinks that CousinSuckUp should do it. She likens the situation to her own daughter and her her baby’s daddy. The problem I have with that scenario is that David is Karina’s father not some guy that was a total stranger to her a few months before. But CousinSuckUp decides to go along with it. She takes her 11 year old daughter to a prison to visit Mommy’s drug dealing boyfriend of only a few months.
This scenario is why I will never ever come around to CousinSuckUp’s side. She allowed her children to become attached to some guy that SHE didn’t even know well enough to decide if he was appropriate. All of her bullshit with Drita aside, she is a LOWSY mother. And, you know how I feel about that.
This kid has no business visiting a drug dealer in prison. Especially when you consider the fact that he was a complete stranger to her just a few months before any of this stuff happened.
So, lets jump to the second part of CousinSuckUp’s awfulness. The way she treats Renee. Renee visits CousinSuckUp armed with an email from Drita. Drita says that Carla told her there was a big blow up over the weekend and she wants to talk to her. She says that CousinSuckUp is lying. CousinSuckUp immediately goes into attack mode.
Here is the problem I have with this entire scene. Renee is visibly shaking she is so upset. And CousinSuckUp is still winding Renee up. She starts yelling shit about how Drita set out to embarrass Renee(?), and ruin their friendships because Drita is an outsider. She screeches something about airing dirty laundry and Laundromats?
Instead of taking the opportunity to say that she asked Drita point blank if CousinSuckUp said anything; and that it wasn’t Drita running to Renee with idle gossip to destroy their friendship, Renee starts screaming about Jesus Christ coming down to protect Drita. CousinSuckUp is loving it. But, then Renee flips the script and is angry at Carla for telling Drita what happened on the trip.
The look on CousinSuckUp’s face was kind of priceless when she realized that Renee wasn’t as angry at Drita as she was at Carla (probably because she is Karen’s dingleberry and Karen has decided that she likes Carla). But, what was even more interesting? The smirk on her face as Renee is leaving. That self satisfied smirk tells me that she totally knew what she was doing in manipulating Renee and trying to break up Renee’s friendships. See? AWFUL!
Now that we have gotten the unpleasantness of CousinSuckUp out of the way, lets move on to a more lighthearted ending. Joe, Carla’s ex-husband, is finally free to leave the halfway house. Everyone is excited about him being back. And, I am taken aback by how good looking the guy is. Plus, welcome to the gun show – damn!
Anyway, they all sit down to dinner and everyone is happy. And it’s totally heartwarming. Which we needed because CousinSuckUp is totally sucking any sense of love or heart out of this show with every scene she is in. Plus, next week Renee finds a note from Junior that sends her completely over the edge and into full on nervous breakdown territory.
Let’s enjoy the love for a minute.
So, that’s it for this week. Next week looks like we are really going to be put through the wringer with Renee’s breakdown. Do you think the note has to do with Junior’s being flipped by the feds?
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