Mob Wives Recap: Taking the Rap

Hello again Gasmii! You guys know I love this show, but I have to admit that this extra long season is starting to drain me a bit. Last season was only 10 episodes. We are on Episode 15 of this season. So, this recap may not be as in depth as my normal ones. Mainly because there are only so many ways I can describe how awesome Drita and Big Ang are and how horrible I find Karen and CousinSuckUp. Plus, repeating “Poor Renee” over and over again just doesn’t pack much of a punch.  Also, there wasn’t a whole lot happening in this episode, so hopefully the next one will get me back in my groove.

We start out with Renee at the courthouse. She went to her father’s hearing to support him, only to have friends and family give her the cold shoulder. I think it’s ridiculous that these people would doubt Renee’s loyalty for even a second. Renee has done the time with everyone of her family members and most likely with some of the guys that are now being put away due to Junior’s cooperation. It really pisses me off on her behalf. Anyway, none of that matters because her father was happy to see her. Her father made her feel loved, forgiven, and welcome and that is really all that matters.

Big Ang (yay!) is wanting botox. I know nothing about any of these procedures except that they look painful and scary and the results are a crap shoot. But, Big Ang is all about her procedures. She declares to her dermatologist that she needs to look younger! After some very unnecessary visuals of watching needles inject stuff into Big Ang’s face, Big Ang says, “Botox is definitely worth it. I LOVE IT!” And we love you Big Ang! Don’t ever change.

Now, Big Ang is getting her extensions put in. And, I don’t know why, but this scene was so entertaining that I watched it a couple of times. Here we have Big Ang telling stories about her lout of a husband (she has decided to give him one more chance), as she passes her extensions to her friend Christine. Christine is alternating between chewing gum and agreeing with Big Ang as she applies extensions to Big Ang’s hair.

Really, it should have been a throw away scene, but it was just so charming and SO Big Ang and I really like moments like this on these types of shows. They lighten the mood.

Drita got the puppy! She is an adorable 4 week old poodle. And, true to her word, Drita did not name her Sparkles. Her name is Lucky Santangelo, after a Jackie Collins Heroine. I must make a plug for Jackie Collins here. If you love trashy novels filled with sex, violence, drugs, and crime, definitely check out some of the classic Collins. Anyway, one of the books is called Lady Boss and that is Lucky’s nickname. I love Drita.

As Drita is falling in love with Lucky, she receives a call from Lee. Turns out Lee is done serving his time for the state and is now moving on to do his federal time. I wonder if that is why he was so weird about not telling anyone when he would be out of jail. He knew he would have to serve time at another facility once this first stint was done. Anyway, they are moving him to Brooklyn. Drita is happy to know that the girls will be close to their dad, but doesn’t know how she feels about him being so close to her.

Drita also has some other things going on. She has been asked to be in a music video. OK, I don’t know anything about the music kids listen to these days. So, I’ve never heard of French Montana. But, I have heard of Bad Boy Records, so that’s impressive – I guess. She gets to be the getaway driver for a bank robber. She thinks it’s perfect because she’s married to a bank robber. But, it’s more than just a video appearance. They also give her the opportunity to rap on the track. You know what? At least she isn’t deluding herself into thinking she can have a singing career, so I’ll play along.

She’s nervous with the stuff she has written. The producer has her do some freestyle and she is very happy with the results. She sends it off to Bad Boy Records with the hope that it will be included on the remix.

She can’t wait to share the news with Renee and Carla who are both extremely happy for her. Renee even says that Drita is a perfect fit for rap music . And it’s nice to see the three of them genuinely enjoying each other’s company.

They also discuss Lee being moved to Brooklyn. Renee assumes that Lee is going to try to get back together with Drita. Drita isn’t having it. Carla is telling her that she should never say never. I think Carla is feeling some tingly’s for Joe and is projecting a little bit.

Ugh! Karen. So, now that Karen has pooped out a book, she wants to go back to working in a spa. Remember in the first episode of last season when Karen spent her last night with all of her spa friends discussing how crazy it was going to be to be back in Staten Island? Yeah, me too. I mainly remember it because I was actually rooting for Karen then. Of course, the true extent of her assholishness was put on display in that same episode and my feelings changed very quickly. Anyway, since her book will (hopefully) flop, she needs a fall back career – you know other than the show. So she has teamed up with a plastic surgeon to open a day spa.

We get a glimpse of Karina – who is looking more and more gorgeous by the way. And, we see Karen put her own need to be famous before her daughter’s need for stability. She asks Karina what she thinks about moving to Staten Island to live with her full time. Karina is hesitant because, her grandparents, uncle, father and all of her friends are in Arizona. The only person she has in Staten Island is Karen.

Karen tries to bribe her with the idea of college and a car because, apparently, Staten Island is the only place in the world that has spas that actually pay their employees a salary. Anyway, regardless of any hesitancy on Karina’s part, Karen knows that bringing her daughter to Staten Island so that she can physically witness her mother’s famewhoring is the best decision she can make for her daughter’s well being.

Since Karen doesn’t actually know the first thing about organizing anything, she enlists CousinSuckUp to help her with the grand opening. CousinSuckUp is going to be in charge of the lasers (I have no idea). Then she decides to get Renee involved to help with gift bags. Karen spins the whole thing as though they will all three be partners, but I don’t know how the plastic surgeon feels about it. The three women are excited.

Renee invites Carla to the grand opening. Carla, once again showing way too much logic and reason to be a reality show participant, declines. She cites the fact that once again it will be all Karen’s friends and they won’t miss her if she isn’t there.

Now Big Ang is talking to CousinSuckUp about the possibility of Karen and Drita making up. CousinSuckUp is not having it. There is no way she is going to risk a reconciliation between Karen and Drita. If they become friends again, then there is no place for her on the show. And since her boyfriend is locked up and her jewelry is in Texas, she needs the income.

Renee brings up the idea of a reconciliation to Drita. Drita is sick of the bullshit between her and Karen. She has been trying to move forward so that she can set a positive example for her daughters and is willing to be civil with Karen in order to accomplish that.

Drita films the video and is super excited to learn that they want to use her rap on the album. So, yay for Drita!

It’s time for the grand opening. CousinSuckUp is a no show with the lasers. Renee arrives and the gift bags aren’t ready yet. But, she puts them together and has them ready to go as the party starts. Still no word on those lasers.

Karen just wanted to enjoy the party (not actually do any work), so she is happy.  Since Karen is in such a good mood, Renee broaches the subject of making up with Drita. Karen says she just wants to see what Drita has to say so she agrees. You know what’s funny? Drita tried to talk to Karen many times before and even at Renee’s party but Karen was too busy listening to CousinSuckUp to hear her out. I wonder how CousinSuckUp is going to take the news?

Karen’s actual cousin Rena, is squarely in CousinSuckUp’s corner. She says some crap about Drita being jealous of Karen? Seriously? When have we ever seen anything that could point to Drita being the least bit jealous of Karen? If anything, this is a major projection of Karen’s own feelings about Drita. Anyway, Rena thinks Karen should just crack Drita in the jaw if Drita says anything to her. I wonder if Rena is also looking for a spot on the show?

Anyway, that’s it for this week kids! What the hell is up with this Rena person? Do you think we will see another fist fight before the season is done? Do you think this season is being stretched out too much? Tell me all about it in the comments.

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