Mob Wives Recap: Tricks not Treats

This week’s episode of Mob Wives didn’t have a whole lot going on. It definitely had it’s cute and fun moments. It also had a couple of annoying moments and at least one confusing/possibly dramatic reveal.

So, lets start with the totally cute. Drita and Carla, along with their daughters (cuteness alert!), are heading to the pumpkin patch to pick pumpkins for Halloween. Remember Drita mentioned having a Halloween party when trying to distract Aleeya from the “fighting is wrong and illegal” conversation.  So, she talks with Carla some more about her party and how much fun it’s going to be to see all of her friends dressed up. And then, she finds a tiny little pumpkin and Giselle just explodes cuteness all over the television.

We leave that delightful scene to visit with CousinSuckUp and her big bag of “who gives a fuck.” She is meeting with someone to talk some more about her background in the lifestyle and I just can’t be assed to care.

This show definitely has its moments of being uneven whether it’s in the plotting or the characterizations, but I don’t get why CousinSuckUp was even cast. I mean logically, I get it. Karen is so unlikable that she needs someone who will film with her the majority of the time. But, did it have to be this chick? She’s awful! And, even her awfulness doesn’t make Karen come across any better.

Speaking of awful, here’s Karen. She meets up with Carla on a golf course of all places. Apparently, Renee thought it would be a good idea for the three of them to take in some golfing. But, then realizes that she probably doesn’t want to be around these bitches when they have golf clubs to use as weapons.

So, Carla and Karen get some bonding time in. I have to say that Carla plays this game – not golf – very well. She is friendly enough with Karen, but still maintains a distance. I guess all of that comatose reserve she has really comes in handy when dealing with punk ass bitches.

Karen invites Carla to Ramona’s Halloween party and Carla tells Karen that Drita is having one as well. Obviously, Carla is going to Drita’s, but she is gracious in thanking Karen for the invite.

Now we are at Renee’s house. She sounds all kinds of slurred and fucked up. I think she may be on several types of meds or something. She and Junior argue about what was said in counseling. The argument doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. But, the point is that Renee doesn’t want Junior to leave at all. That includes going to jail. I just want to know how many times AJ has witnessed these types of arguments.

So, now Karen and CousinSuckUP are shopping for Halloween costumes. These women are like 40 right? So, why are they going for the cheap “slutty” costumes in plastic bags? Anyway, CousinSuckUp accuses Drita of copying her by having a party the same night. Even though this episode is the first mention of a party from CousinSuckUp and Drita already discussed it. Karen chooses a slutty nurse costume and CousinSuckUp goes for a “hot devil” costume. Too bad she’s not hardcore enough to pull it off. Their choices are just so lame and uninspired. These bitches can’t even do Halloween in a fun way.

Renee and Junior continue their conversation in a more calm manner. Renee just wants peace and decides that marriage counseling isn’t good for them. This is such a huge red flag that this relationship has been doomed since the beginning. They both feel like they have too much of a past to examine and counseling makes it difficult for them to move forward.

This is totally going to end badly. Poor Renee.

Big Ang! Yay! Big Ang and Carla meet up with Drita at a wig store. This is easily my favorite part of the entire episode. Carla is looking for a Cher wig. She wants the big curly hair Cher had in the “Turn Back Time” video. Big Ang is just there because she is awesome. Carla finds the perfect wig. Then Drita and Big Ang play dress up as each other. It is so freaking cute! Drita stuffs a ton of stuff down her shirt and puts on a Big Ang wig.

Carla says that Joe can’t attend if Junior is there because he can’t be around felons – which Junior is. And Drita does a perfect Big Ang impression. It is so spot on. I LOVE them. I love how genuine their interactions seem. They could totally be pretending, but if that is the case, they are excellent actors.

Renee and Carla are having lunch and waiting for Renee. Renee says that she is never late, even though she totally bailed on golfing. Carla mentions that CousinSuckUp invited her to her Halloween party. Renee is upset at this. Because even though she knows that she is invited, CousinSuckUp called Carla first. Renee thinks this has to do with loyalty. Carla has no idea why this upsets Renee so much. Karen arrives and Renee jumps right in. Karen tries to tell her that she is invited. Then, she tries to change the subject to what will happen to Renee when Junior goes away. Which of course brings on the full on dramatics from Renee.

Renee talks about how her dad’s driver got picked up by the feds and that has to mean her dad is next. She feels like there is a bomb about to go off. And, she just can’t take anymore. And she is seeing this in terms of the divide between her friends. She has so many issues, I know I give her a lot of crap, but I honestly feel for her.

There is a scene with Karen justifying leaving her family behind in Arizona. She brags about the Mob Candy cover shoot. And says that her book is predicted to be a best seller – PLEASE GOD NO!  She says that she hasn’t told her dad about any of this. Karen is looking forward to being infamous because it equals attention so she is super excited about all of it and not at all worried about her safety, or her daughter’s.

Drita is talking to her cousin about the fact that Karen and CousinSuckUp having a party the same night as her. She is unsure about who is going to attend and her cousin totally wins my love and respect when she talks about how awful Karen is. She reminds us that Drita was the one who had Karen’s back when everyone turned their back on her. Drita was the one saying that Karen should not have to pay for what her father did. Drita was the first one to welcome Karen back. And Karen turned on her. Not only that, Karen allows CousinSuckUp to keep her from seeing any good that Drita did for her.

So, much respect to Drita’s cousin for putting that back out there. Because, it does seem like Karen was really quick to forget that – even before she and Drita had a fight. Just like Karen was quick to forget that Drita willingly apologized for her hurting her.

Anyway, Drita married into that lifestyle and now she is divorcing it. She has never actually been stuck in it like the other women who were born into it. So, she is lucky in that she has some perspective that none of these other women will ever have.

Big Ang! Yay!

I know I have said this before, but I really really want Big Ang to write a cookbook. THAT would be a best seller I could get behind. Anyway, she is waiting for AJ to come to dinner. And she has made an amazing spread. AJ comes in and she offers him a red wine and cream soda. Is that a thing? It doesn’t sound like it would taste that good, but I would be willing to try it just because Big Ang drinks it. Yes, I am a total Big Ang whore. I love her.

She talks about how she can’t go to Drita’s party because she has to work. Big Ang talks about wanting a rich husband to take care of her. And they both talk about how rich guys are only looking for hot 20-somethings. And, she says she is too old for that. She says that AJ is back on track after getting into trouble. And AJ tries to convince her to invest in a pizzeria in Boca Raton with him. Can anyone imagine the splash Big Ang would make in a place like Boca?

So, it’s party time. Drita looks adorable in her Pan Am flight attendant uniform. Renee and Junior show up as convicts in orange jumpsuits. It’s such a cute idea. Carla shows up as Cher and she totally pulls it off. Luckily, she didn’t go full on with the costume and wore a skirt.

The ladies seem to be having a great time. But, Renee stirs up some drama about there being separate parties. Drita understands why she is upset but thinks it is ridiculous to expect people who hate each other to socialize.

Renee has to leave to go to CousinSuckUp’s party, and even though Drita says she understands and is ok with it, Renee pushes her to admit that she doesn’t really want them to leave. I’m not sure why. I mean, shouldn’t she just accept that even though Drita isn’t happy about it, she isn’t going to start crap about it in the middle of her party? That’s something I just never get about Renee. Even though, she knows Drita doesn’t want her to leave, she can’t accept Drita’s polite acceptance of it. She has to push Drita to say the words “I don’t want you to leave.”

So now we are at CousinSuckUp’s party. And while it looks like there are more people at hers than Drita’s, it seems like a bunch of people that don’t really know each other. Karen flirts with some guy that no one knows. Then, she says that he gives her the creeps. Renee and Junior show up. And, it’s kind of a weird vibe for them. Then, that guy that Karen had been flirting with says something to Junior about Junior knowing his friend who is a cop.

This could be a possibly dramatic reveal. It could have also been a joke because Junior is dressed as a criminal.  The guy could have been a plant to make sure Junior was staying true to working with the feds. He could have been someone who knows that Junior is cooperating. Or, like I said, he could have just been making a harmless joke based on Junior’s costume. Whatever the case, Junior is ready to bolt.

Rather than pushing it, Renee and Junior beeline for the door. Renee remarks about Junior being paranoid and on edge but not really knowing what happened. Poor Renee.

Next week, Karen continues trying to push Drita out by inviting everyone except her on a trip. Renee confronts CousinSuckUp about her remarks about Junior. And it could be explosive, or a non starter.

That’s it for this week kids. Let me know your thoughts in the comments.