Models of the Runway: Double Stick Tape Gate

Models of the Runway

By Honey Gangsta | Sunday, November 1, 2009 | 9:57 pm | 16 Comments

Tagged: funny, hilarious, models of the runway, recap, spoof, TV, tvgasm

“Does the word ‘residue’ mean anything to you?”

Moments before Models of the Runway… Logan has YET AGAIN designed something fugly and landed himself in the bottom. This time Kojii is all bedazzled out in zippers decorating a black and white Judy Jetson outfit. It was meant to be a companion piece to a “good” outfit he made:

Well maybe companion pieces in the “random fug” collection.

Heidi describes the look as “too tricked out,” but really it’s just stupid. Gordana is also in the bottom for a much less ridiculous outfit, but the judges didn’t like hers either. I actually like this one better than Gordana’s winning outfit – this one’s a jacket with cute details around the waist, but for some unexplained reason the judges don’t like it.

So one is ridiculous and one is… not?

The judging is so random this season so there’s no point in trying to figure it out. The good news is that after MANY fugly entries and zero wins, Logan is finally OUT. Aufwiedersehen, sucker! Kojii’s like, “oh crap, none of the other designers even know who I am.” How does this bode for our Irish lass?

Cheetos comes backstage to congratulate Althea, who won for making pants that no one in their right mind would wear. If you can imagine pants that are designed to flatter the female figure, think of exactly the opposite of that and you have Althea’s “paper bag” pants.

Oh if only I could make my hips look wider and my legs look shorter!

They poof around your hips and thighs and I believe that Malvin was eliminated way back for making pants shaped like this and saying that they deliberately make a woman look like she has chicken legs. See what I mean about the judging this season? Anyway Cheetos tells Althea how much fun she’s having wearing her cool designs and totally working it on the runway.

Meanwhile Mater is totally offended that Gordana pointed out on the runway that she has a lot of hair and Gordana didn’t want that hair to pull focus from her design. Watching Gordana talk, it didn’t really sound like an insult so much as pointing out a fact, but Mater takes it personally and fears that this may mean elimination. And here comes Logan in his silver pants to say goodbye. The girls are all devastated to be losing such a hottie (?) because he is a “genuine human being” as Katie tells us. A genuine human being who had little business on Project Runway, however.

Time to retire the winning silver pants.

Heidi time! Heidi wants to know the models’ thoughts on the latest challenge. Cheetos LOVED it! But totally not because her designer won or anything. Heidi wants to know if Kojii is worried now that Logan is gone. Yes Heidi, everyone is worried… except Cheetos. Mater whines about her hair again and Heidi tells them that they’re all doing a fantastic job. Particularly Kojii, who stood on the runway in total crap and sold it like a staaah. We get a little flashback and Heidi’s right. Kojii stood there proudly the whole time.

Making Heidi proud.

And now for today’s scandal. It seems that Kalyn’s dress (courtesy of Irina) had quite a bit of trouble staying up on her chest over her boobs, so Kalyn asked around and found some double stick tape to help cover her goodies. Then a production assistant burst into the model holding tank and told her she HAD to take it off because it gave her designer an unfair advantage, and someone else had to take theirs off last week, so there’s that too. It’s so funny. They can use hot glue guns, but when it comes to double stick tape that’s where they draw the line? I guess Irina should have (and could have) hot glued the dress to Kalyn’s boobs.

Time for the decision of a lifetime, Kalyn.

SIDEBAR: double stick clothing tape is a miracle. And not just for going-out clothes. I personally own button down shirts that exist permanently double stick taped closed so they don’t bubble all up when I sit down. I have also used it as Kalyn tried to do in this challenge – where the outfit is on my body only in theory and would be on the floor if not for the aid of the double stick tape. Just be careful if the fabric is sparkly because that is some strong stuff, which leads me to my next point. Residue. When using that tape to keep fabric on your body, it is impossible to come completely off of your skin without the aid of a shower or at least some rubbing alcohol. So Katie’s upcoming tantrum really rubs me the wrong way.

“I have something to get off my chest. And it’s NOT residue!”

Back in the holding tank Katie sits down and slumps into a totally pissed off position. Cheetos asks her what that is all about and Katie decides to out with everything. “Kalyn, you used tape on your boobs. You were told four times you weren’t supposed to use tape. And if you make it to finals I’m going to be pissed.” Well! This is the most exciting thing to happen since Fat Ma has been in the house! An accusation! Kalyn is a cheater! Kalyn insists that she took it off after she was instructed to do so, but Katie says she saw it on her boob. Here’s where my experience with residue comes in. It’s totally possible that the dress stuck to the residue. Kalyn says over and over, “I took it off.” But Katie just keeps saying she doesn’t believe her. Someone’s a sore loser. I thought Katie was going to take all of this out on Christopher. That was her plan last week, anyway – to give Christopher a piece of her mind. But this week all she can do is lash out at invisible tape. Personally I believe Kalyn. She’s too innocent and naÃ¯ve not to take the tape off after being ordered to do so. Katie just needs a reason to explain why Christopher isn’t winning anymore.

“Because it can’t possibly be Christopher’s work. Or me.”

Kalyn comes home and just can’t get over being so maliciously accused. She says she hates confrontation and has been on the verge of tears ever since it happened. I totally hear that. Lately at my real job everything has been in a heated mess of tension and it’s a good day when I leave the office without having cried. But I come home all the time stewing in the hostility – it’s awful. Blast this horrid economy and the 400 applicants applying for every job I’m trying to get. And a lot of good my advanced degree is doing me. I’m being bullied by drop outs. If any of you beloved readers want to hire me, you know how to find me on the interweb. Ahem, moving on… just let me grab another Snickers out of the Halloween bowl to stifle my tears. The rest of the models seem to agree with me regarding Kalyn’s innocence, and Mater gives her a pep talk on blocking out the crap and staying positive. Thanks Mater, I’ll also be taking your advice.

Elsewhere Kojii is lamenting that models are people too and suddenly I’m over life at the modelplex. Elimination day! Poor Mater is hard at work with a straightening iron after Gordana’s hair comments. What I wouldn’t give for even a hint of a wave in my hair, but alas, the grass is always greener.

Kalyn loves straight ironing.

Ah, here comes Heidi to tell the designers they are choosing their models for the LAST challenge. It’s the END OF THE ROAD!!! Here’s how it goes, with nothing like surprise:

Althea chooses Cheetos with much flattery. Cheetos again dances into the holding tank.

Carol Hannah chooses Delta Burke, who tells us that SHE would pick Carol Hannah to win the whole thing. Gee, you think?

Dance, Delta Burke!

Christopher chooses Katie, who really wants to get famous, ugh.

Irina chooses Kalyn, who I think should come out wearing nothing but double stick tape. Screw Katie.

It comes down to Gordana to choose between Mater and Kojii. Gordana says she’s never worked with Kojii, but she loves working with Mater and she loves her big beautiful hair. See Mater? All is well on top of your head.

So poor Kojii is doomed to go home and take care of her little girl, who will now have no role model for following her dreams. She’ll have no choice now but to quit school and become homeless. And all because Kojii was eliminated from Project Runway. Good luck to you Kojii, and your little girl. Hang in there!

Did she ever favor us with a song?

Next time it’s the last challenge! Katie is on the verge of a nervous breakdown and still threatening to call Kalyn out on the double stick tape thing. Oh do it, Katie! Let’s go there!

So what do you think about Double Stick Tape Gate? Did Kalyn or didn’t Kalyn? Will it make any difference whatsoever?

Thanks for reading!
-Honey Gangsta

Comments (16)
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About Honey Gangsta

Late one afternoon in 2005, Honey Gangsta received an invite to join a two person blog set up by her former roommate who had recently ditched LA (California knows how to party) for the bright lights of NYC (these streets will make you feel brand new, the lights will inspire you). The purpose of the blog was to continue their nightly ritual of ripping on reality TV, which could no longer be done in person. Since Honey Gangsta was still watching 18 hours of TV a day and had nothing else to do, she agreed. 10,000 hits later, HG was inspired to submit a Bachelor recap to TVgasm - no one was reporting on Officer Mayo and his time traveling DeLorean - and the rest is history. It's been said that she writes what you're thinking. It's been said she is a genius - a Blogger Laureate of her time. It's also been said that the earth is flat and no one landed on the moon, so you just never know. With her keen observations, and colorful commentary, Honey Gangsta is beloved the world over.

16 Comments

1

Clair

Posted November 2, 2009 at 11:24 am

Even though I’ve never used double-sided fabric tape, I had that ‘residue’ thought as well.

Didn’t Cheetos say something about pasties? So, those are allowed but tape isn’t?
2

Snootchy Bootches

Posted November 2, 2009 at 11:24 am

I sort of think that Kalyn did try to cheat though if I had to guess, I’d bet Irina was behind it. From what Katie said, Kalyn had been told prior not to use tape and still did. The fact that the PA said that someone was required to remove it LAST week seems to support the point made by Katie that Kalyn was already aware they weren’t allowed to use it. So, for me, the questions of whether she removed the tape is moot. Because she already knew she wasn’t supposed to use it. The rest was just getting caught. If she hadn’t gotten caught, she would have gladly worn it through the runway show. So that, my friends, is cheating. Period.

Of course, that sort of underhanded doings sounds much more like Irina than Kalyn. And if I was Katie, I’d be pissed too.
3

Snootchy Bootches

Posted November 2, 2009 at 11:28 am

Clair, pasties is a different thing altogether. If she really means “pasties,” then those are just used to cover the nipple so that they don’t show through. However, I actually think she means cutlets which add a bit of boob to make the models resemble an actual woman rather than a 12 year old girl. :p I think most of the models have worn those at some point.

The difference with double stick tape is that it corrects a fitting problem and/or design flaw. It wouldn’t be fair to judge a design where the flaws were hidden on one person’s dress but not on another’s.
4

itchy

Posted November 2, 2009 at 1:25 pm

I thought that the point was that the models couldn’t alter the designs– but the designers can do whatever they want before sending the gals down the runway, including using double-stick tape. So Irina could have chosen to do it, but Kalyn couldn’t.

And I’d tend to agree that Kalyn is probably too innocent to lie like that.

Katie also knows that MN sucks as a designer and that Irina is the only real candidate for winning this thing.

This is also the first time the Models were more interesting than the Designers (usually both shows are pretty tempting).

Maybe it was Cheetos rockin’ boobs that kept me awake?

Kind of a shame to lose Kojiiii though, since she was one of my faves.
5

sayhuh

Posted November 2, 2009 at 1:29 pm

I read the comments before the recap (blasphemy, I know!) so I’ll just pipe in with this for now: If you go to the Lifetime PR website, in the “Rate the Runway” page, you can run a magnifying lens over the outfits, and Cheetos was wearing a couple of big honking pasties. Not that I was looking for it, but man do they jump out at you! How that looks any better than an actual nipple, I don’t know. ‘Cause it doesn’t. Anyway, to the recap! I’ll be back…
6

itchy

Posted November 2, 2009 at 3:34 pm

Re: the typo in my comment: “Tempting” ?

Where the fuck did that come from?

Could have sworn I typed “boring”.

The mind works in mysterious ways. I should have been a model.
7

pixielated

Posted November 2, 2009 at 4:39 pm

Cheetos definitely does not need cutlets. What she does need is a bra. I know the bouncing boobs having probably helped her designers in the past, but the problem, to me, is that they bounce AWAY from each other. They look like they are going to end up under her arms.

The pasties (don’t they call them “petals,” too, or something like that?) definitely look worse than nipples. They look like big, protuberant areolas.
8

Hadhas

Posted November 2, 2009 at 6:06 pm

I love the “in theory” line (I buy the same types of clothes, so I know double sided tape well). I’m still grinning from that.

I thought that Kalyn might have been lying, because if she did have to be asked “four times”, then clearly she wasn’t receptive the first three times. And I don’t think she’d be honest about it if she was called out. But residue is a good point, so I guess she should have the benefit of the doubt.

And I don’t get the point of allowing Cheetos pasties and not tape for Kayln. I would assume the need for tape was accidental boob exposure, so Althea’s outfit had the same problem: boob exposure.

Eh, whatever. This was the first mildly interesting MotR… ever, really, although I always like your recaps.
9

sayhuh

Posted November 2, 2009 at 7:16 pm

Oh, how I love your bleak outlook for Koiji’s daughter, Honey. Yup, they’re always doing it for the children. Me, I’m partial to ye olde Rene from ANTM and her “I had a baby and I thought my life was over”, obviously followed in her head by an “and now I’m living (albeit temporarily) in a mansion while your loser dad is taking care of you, so you can SUCK IT!” But yeah, even she claimed to be doing it for her baby.

I’m with Snootchy here in the “Kalyn tried to get away with cheating”. I don’t know, maybe it’s because I have known a couple of Kalyns in my life, you know, they look too sweet and too dumb to pull anything like that off, and that’s how they get away with their denials and benefits of the doubt. “Whaaaaaa? Sweet li’l old meeeeee? Cheaaaaaaating? How can you even think such a thing! (sniff sniff sob).” Okay, I’m a bitch. I have no idea whether it was tape or residue, but right on, Snootchy, they knew it wasn’t allowed and she still tried. She’ll probably say she was just distracted by a passing butterfly when they said that the previous week.

So I did end up watching this epi because of the promise of some drama, but no. The closest thing to drama was Irina’s face when Cheetos and Althea were having their little congrats-fest. I still think the only way to enjoy the crapfest is to avoid it and read Honey’s recap instead (and don’t let the bastards at work grind you down!)
10

NYdiva

Posted November 2, 2009 at 9:27 pm

I’m going to miss Kojii. Not because of her personality because let’s face it, this show is not strong on personality. Except for Katie of course. Bitter bitter Katie. Much as I hate to admit it, I’m pretty sure she’s right about Kalyn. Look at the brief scene of the girls standing together right before going onto the runway. There are just a few girls in the frame, and it’s a short little clip, but you can clearly see the tape on the side of Kalyn’s boob. Unless she’s wearing a cellophane bra.

They show this scene at the end of the episode. It’s obviously meant to be a reveal. It’s that “Ah hah!” moment. It’s not residue, it’s tape.

The double-stick tape was supposed to keep the strapless dress from falling down after it had stretched a bit. It has to do with whether the designer made a dress that fits. I guess the dress has to stand – or fall – on its own.

One question: why “Cheetos”?
11

itchy

Posted November 3, 2009 at 12:47 am

I always thought Cheetos referred to the luscious shape of her nipples.

But I’m so damn naive to the ways of women that I never would have guessed they might be artificially enhanced. Nice swing though.

Speaking of naive… I’ll bow to wiser people than me: if Snootch says she’s a cheat, then she’s a cheat. ;-D
12

Snootchy Bootches

Posted November 3, 2009 at 4:03 am

Itchy, you know I’ll always luv ya! *mwah!*

Hadhas, yes both methods are keeping a boob from showing. But here is the difference: One is keeping a boob from showing through sheer fabric while the garment is being worn correctly. In the other case, the ENTIRE FRONT OF THE DRESS fell down and was around her waist. Not exactly the same. Didn’t you see the footage when they showed that the entire top was at her waist? I bet Itchy did. :p
13

Honey Gangsta

Posted November 3, 2009 at 11:39 am

Okay, I have to thank you guys for pointing out to me the Cheetos’ boobs situation. I was so busy covering Tape Gate that I didn’t even notice Cheetos’ ginormous unrestrained chest dancing down that runway. And the pasties? Yeah. If the nips weren’t the main focus before, they sure are now. And pasties do NOT solve the bounce issue.

NYdiva – The Cheetos name came from one of the first episodes:
“Something isn’t adding up, though, because there are 15 models at this point and about six of them are participating in boot camp while Tanisha and Tara sit in their bathing suits on the lawn looking on and eating cheetos (I knew it!).”
14

LindaLC

Posted November 3, 2009 at 12:22 pm

Hey, At least something kind of interesting happened this week! I think she took the tape off, but who really knows. Either way we all know Irina is going to the finals, so it doesn’t make much difference. I think the whole thing was just sour grapes from Katie who by now (like the rest of us) can see that Irina and Kalyn are headed to Bryant Park, where it would take a miracle for MN to ever get there.

LOVED your good luck wishes for Kojii’s daughter! She sounded full of crap whenever she went on about doing PR for her daughter. Just admit you did it for yourself, Kojii! It’s not a crime to have goals of your own.

My guess is that we’ll be saying good bye to Katie and Matar next week and the other three will be headed for NYC!
15

juddfan

Posted November 4, 2009 at 12:53 pm

LindaLC, me thinks they send four home to do a line, and then eliminate one before Bryant Park (ala Chris’ hair line) So, I agree it’s between those two models, and honestly, it could go either way . . . . tho in my heart, I think giving Gordy a chance to do a line with time on her side, she could be a surprise, where as, Christopher would blow chunks and do some 80′s derivative crap, or fucking gowns or something . . . blech!

Kalyn seems very sweet and it seems dumb that they can’t use tape . . . just put some goddamn straps on, Irina, if that’s the prob . . .

And the pasties–yea, doll, that’s the solution. Althea does these sheer formless tops and lets the girls run amok inside, and the solution is pasties–gimmie a break!!! I wasn’t sure it was the nipples that were the problem. Don’t models have every type of bra to accommodate every style of top–does she not have an underwire hook in the back type–or those underside holder uppers-tho, for me she needs to keep them in place, they’s plenty perky on their own . . .

anyway, those tops are lazy and shapeless and almost like sticking a dickie between the sweater opening–we do know dickie, yes . . . but I don’t hate Althea, or anyone really. Irina’s a bitch, but hate is something I save for the truly deserving.

I don’t even hate Christopher, but lets try a game last epi, everytime he puts his hand in a chapel and covers his nose, we scream “Ooo my nose” ala Marsha Brady and do a shot–I’m sure we’ll all be blasted.

Thanks Honey!!!
16

juddfan

Posted November 4, 2009 at 12:54 pm

Oh yeah, the residue comment with the cap of Kalyn is perfection, Honey, she just needs a kah at the end-hee . . .

Models of the Runway: Double Stick Tape Gate

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