Katie, the star of ‘My Super Sweet Sixteen‘ this week, looks like
Miss Piggy, has the brains of Anna Nicole and has a slave who-No
Joke-does Katie’s hair every morning. I guess we’re supposed to forget
about that whole “her family has a slave thing” after we discover that
Katie is having a Christmas Theme Party and requiring all her guests
to bring a gift to be donated to “Toys for Tots”. Maybe her mammy can
sneak her way out of her cot in the basement where the family keeps
her and bring a little black doll into the party.Did someone say Christmas? That’s right folks! Katie wants “to bring
Christmas to Memphis” for her party! You mean a magical wonderland?
Not quite. The party ends up looking like a scene taken directly off
the sweater my old co-worker wore everyday of December last year.
Katie requests a snow man sits outside the party to greet people and
plenty of “sexy” (Ugly is the new sexy) Santa costumes for herself and
her friends. And if she needs reindeer she can go to her father’s
Study slash deer head room and have over 30 decapitated Rudlophs to
strap to a sleigh.
But let’s go back a moment. Katie goes to hand out invitations to the
party and gets too tired to call out names. (This is a particularly
Anna Nicole move.) She starts calling out things like, “anyone with a
white hat gets an invitation”. How exclusive! When a young black girl
happens to win one of these coveted invites she looks to the sky and
says, “Thank you Jesus.” I guess she didn’t realize she was going to
the party to hand out wieners in a blanket and not to party.
For the main entertainment Katie seeks out Rap artist Yung Joc. I
don’t know how she finds this guy’s studio, perhaps this is where her
Guido-southern father gets his weed, but she arrives to a studio on a
side of Memphis she never knew existed. As she walks in to his
recording studio she astutely observes, “Oh…are
you..like…recording something?” Happily, Yung Joc requests $85,000
to appear at Katie’s Birthday and she tells him it’s a deal. I’m sure
her dad won’t mind spending that kind of money on entertainment
considering on the morning of her birthday he gives her a $20,000
pimped out watch with which she nearly walks into the shower until she
blurts out, “Oh..it’s not water proof..is it?”
Katie says at the top of the episode, “I’m a southern girl and
southern girls like guys.” Profound. She goes bowling (very elite
sport) and puts two schmucks through a series of tests. She does not
pick the dude which was her existing boyfriend and won all the tasks!
Mr. Bowl cut original boyfriend/task winner doesn’t take the loss well
and proceeds to follow Katie around the entire night of the party.
The party goes well and Yung Joc is a hit. In the heat of the moment
he hands Katie a necklace with a huge diamond covered cross. Katie
thinks she’s keeping it although it does weigh, “Like 10,000 pounds!”
(Accurate estimation, Katie.) But Katie ends up returning the necklace
to the rap star.
Finally, Katie’s dad presents her with custom made 6-door Hummer. I
guess it’s cool to be a limo driver in Memphis.