Recap: My Super Sweet 16: What’s More Fabulous Than Exploiting Midgets?

By Dava

What a fantastic Super Sweet 16 this week! The Quinceaneara is
always a good time because we get to see an immigrant who has worked
so hard to make something of himself spend all his money on his
spoiled unappreciative child. This week our princess is Stephanie who
is no exception to the rule.

Steph chose a Venetian Masquerade theme for the party and the
pre-party in which she would make an entrance and present her guests
with invitations. So upon her request, some idiot had to try and tie a
horn onto a horse to make it look like a unicorn on which she would
ride into the “pre-party”. All was going well until the humiliated
horse bucked like crazy saying, “Get this fat biatch off my ass and
get this horn off my face!” Good horsy.

On to Plan B. Stephanie
presents the invitations after arriving to her lakeside home, accompanied by “jesters” who look like the orgy clan from “Eyes Wide
Shut”.

Then Steph proves that being a truly spoiled princess isn’t just about
getting everything you want, but that it’s also about making other
people do what you want at your beck and call. Steph announces that a
select group of her close friends will be made to attend manditory
rehearsals to learn choreographed dances to be performed at the party.
I thought I put my 15 boyfriends through hell, but Steph is making these
dudes curtsey and bow in costumes for the hope of a measly hand job.
Getting these teenagers to cooperate by force and threat of death, the
group pulls it off and starts the party with a Traditional Dance à la
Interview With A Vampire.

And did I mention the midgets she hired to dance around for her
amusement? That’s right folks, along with fire-eaters and stilt
walkers Stephanie “hired” some midgets to dress up in Jester outfits
and dance around the party. As Stephanie said, “You can’t put a price
on perfection!” No. But I guess you can put a price on a little
person’s self worth.  The party was filled with so many carne-like
freaks I was waiting for the bearded lady to pop. Oh wait, that would
be Stephanie.

And how could I forget the “video” Stephanie shot to be played at the
video. Dressed in a “flirty” white dress Steph frolicked in the sand
like a Chris Isaak video gone way wrong.

The final most awesomest moment of the whole episode was towards the
end of the party when a midget dressed in a cop uniform stripped down
to his boxer as a “Surprise” to all her friends. I don’t know how she
came up with this idea but I do recall a similar scene from Itty Bitty
Gang Bang.

Stephanie insisted on spending $42, 000 on not one but 15 cakes to
celebrate every year roll she added to her ass that day I don’t think
her parents realize they will be spending twice that amount on
Liposuction in the next 5 years. But her parents do realize that they
don’t want to listen to her anymore thus sending her, per her request,
to Europe for a semester of school.

“I’m going to France motherf*&#@#!” Steph bragged. Oh good! Just what
we need. Another reason for the French to hate us.