Nashville Minicap: I’m hanging my head in shame

Good evening Gasmites. I must give a hearty and humiliated shoutout to Peanut29 . Thank you for schooling me re: Hootie. OF COURSE Darius Rucker was in Hootie and the Blowfish and not Counting Crows. Stupid SourCake. I especially should have known this as Hoots and his Blowfish covered one of my fave songs, I Go Blind by 54-40. It’s almost a note-for-note copy, you-tube if you’ve never heard the original.

Also, reality, yes. In previous episodes, Lamar alluded to Rayna’s eldest being Deacon’s child. Rayna didn’t confirm or deny but she did fly into a rage. My guess is that yes, the child is Deacon’s and Rayna knows it. HEY! Maybe that is one of the reasons Rayna kept him in her band? So that he could be involved in the kid’s life, at least in some small way. Just a thought.

Juliette is working her band to the bone in an effort to stay away from her mom. Deacon offers to help Juliette convince CrackMom to go to rehab.

Rayna is in a glorious red dress (that becomes less glorious the more I see of it…knotted shoulders?  Ick!) singing a terrible “Tampon Commercial” song. I have no idea what the commercial is really for but the music is all hearts and butterflies and that oh-so-fresh feeling. 

The mystery of “What Teddy Did” is sortof solved . Turns out he and Peggy embezzled 2 million bucks – Peggy wants to go to the Feds but Teddy is afraid of losing it all.

Juliette’s crack sense is tingling and she finds CrackMom sleeping off a bender with some greasy, disease-ridden fleabag. I believe it was the same fleabag we saw her with when she called Juliette trying to convince her she was “clean” a few epis back.

Teddy and Coleman debate. Coleman scores a pretty big dig – “The only thing Teddy Conrad does is inherit money and lose it.” Ouch.

Scarlett yaps to her mama and then lets Avery horn in on her recording session. Judging from the previews, it ends badly.

Rayna and Deacon have a spat over a song she needs to use in a commercial. Deacon refuses to budge and Rayna just can’t believe she snapped her fingers and he didn’t come running. It’s a beautiful thing to watch.

Lamar and Teddy have a sit-down about the credit union audit and during this very intense and important conversation my tv decided to freeze. I will watch again and recap this convo more fully in my full-length shitfest.  Ahem, sorry, my full-length “recap”.

Gunnar and Scarlet do their showcase with Avery backing them on guitar. Avery does some showoffy fanciness with his guitar and it’s very uncomfortable.

Deacon, Juliette and unnamed bodyguard (who seems very kind and solicitous of Juliette) drive CrackMom (born name: Jolene…of course it is. It’s probably Jolene-Lynn, she’s such hilljack trash) to rehab. And holy f-ck, gasmi, is CrackMom ever working the Gollum face in these scenes. A round of the applause to either the makeup artists or the actress’ real-life dealer.  Just before she heads off to get clean, CrackMom hauls off and slaps Juliette in the face.  I’m guessing she also thinks she’s entitled to do that because she’s her mom and she’s got problems.