Nurse Jackie Recap: Not What It Seems

Another week sober and Jackie is at a carnival–or maybe that’s supposed to be Coney Island. I don’t know, I’ve never been, so apologies if my lack of knowledge ruins the recap. In any case, it’s a fun-looking place, and Jackie is taking a euphoric spin on The Scrambler by herself, while Zoey, Grace, and Fiona watch from the sidelines. Suddenly, it’s only Zoey and Fiona; Grace has moseyed off to chat up Todd, a boy who likely spent the evening before celebrating the appearance of his first “down there” hair.

See? This is where eyeliner leads. After practically diving off the ride mid-scramble, Jackie cock blocks young Todd, a maneuver Grace doesn’t quite appreciate. Before Grace can start with the attitude, Jackie sends the girls off with Zoey to procure some corn dogs, chases after Todd, and twists the cock blocking knife by deleting Grace’s number from his phone. That’ll go over like a ton of bricks.

Zoey meanwhile is giving Grace a few pointers and props for not taking Todd’s number. “If they want it, they can come get it,” she says. Damn straight, Zoey. She then reveals she’s never called Lenny in her life, which is kind of hilarious and disturbing at the same time. Jackie acts fake excited at the prospect of a Todd phone call, but is then distracted when Grace pops open Fiona’s Coke bottle with a lighter–a trick she apparently learned hanging around Kevin’s bar.

When Jackie flips out on her, Grace, unleashing all the predatory, cutthroat instincts of the tween girl in a single, deadpan sentence, deflects all that quite nicely by telling Jackie she’s being pretty judgmental for someone who was in rehab. Apparently, she used a magical internet site called Google to learn more about the facility at which she visited Jackie.

Did you know they could just search stuff like that on the internet? Damn kids. She doesn’t want to talk about it, and neither does Fiona, but Zoey sure does, and plans to, just as soon as she gathers her jaw off the floor. Jackie, unable to deal with her right now, chases after the girls.

Wisely(?) deciding she’d better tell all to Kevin before he hears it somewhere else, Jackie pays a visit to his apartment. This is the first time we’ve seen them interact since they talked on the phone about Eddie, and Kevin has clearly moved on. At least I’m assuming he has, based on the scantily clad piece of ass decorating his couch. Ah, that’s nice and awkward.

Anyway, Jackie lays it out for him and tells him the girls know and she doesn’t want any more secrets between them. Blonde Piece interjects her own extensive rehab knowledge throughout the chat, which is hilarious and sweet and annoying all at once. I mean, none of it is her concern, and she is the new girlfriend, but she’s sincerely offering support. Kevin doesn’t have a lot to say, so Jackie just leaves. Then she calls Charlie’s voicemail on the way to work and asks him to meet her at a meeting that day at 3. It’s pretty sad that Charlie is who she has left at this point.

While recapping the day’s events to O’Hara, Jackie mentions that maybe she needs a piece of her own, and that also starts her worrying about Grace again. O’Hara suggests a viewing of Trainspotting. I actually did that once, showed that movie to a few of my siblings for the express purpose of scaring them away from a life of shenanigans. It’s worth noting that this is not a foolproof plan by any means.

After a certain point, even Ceiling Baby loses its shock value. Zoey corners Jackie behind the nurses’ station under guise of giving her her paycheck, and in true Zoey form, has a very obvious whispered conversation, assuring Jackie that the rehab secret is safe in her cone of silence. Except for the part where she loud-whispers it over hill and dale, of course.