This week PC gets a job, Jessie has an interview for an internship, Kelli does some interviews, Taylor makes it official and Sebastian gets REJECTED, again! It’s not the most exciting story, but I’m going to see it through with all of you until the bitter end. It’s just too bad that most of the action is just bitching about each other, I guess when you’re among the undead, you have to conserve your energy.
These undead are guilty of a lot of things including boring the crap out of everyone watching this show. I mean just how many times can we see Kelli fidget, Sebastard flip his hair, Jessie make a face, PC make an enemy and Camilla mention Harvard?
PC says his life is all about drugs and sex and rock ‘n roll. I don’t think so, do you?
These kids are about as far from “Sex, Drugs and Rock ‘n Roll” as you can get. So break out the coffee, sugary treats and maybe take a cold shower it’s time to visit the undead on NYC Prep.
We begin this week with Camilla speaking to PC. I guess it doesn’t matter how awful he was at her dinner party, since PC is friends with Jessie, Camilla forgave him. Camilla tells PC she wants to work on the Operation Smile charity and PC offers to talk to Jessie for her. This was nice on PC’s part. I wonder what he hopes to gain by being nice to her? Soul to the devil? probably.
“Whatever you do, don’t mention her wonky eye!”
Kelli is moving forward in her search for the perfect voice coach. Since she is independent (except her parents pay for everything) and lives in Manhattan, she is interviewing the possible coaches. She wants to find a coach with experience and hopefully someone she likes.
First up was Scott. He was wearing an ugly sweater and mumbled something about having his own way to teach music. Kelli asked him if he has ever recorded anything, any demos? He said no but his Mother has been after him to do a record. The comment about Mom was the deal breaker. This guy was out.
“My Mom thinks I should record an album.” Dude, seriously move out of your Mom’s basement already.
Second was a lady named Kathy. Kelli tells us whoever she is, she can’t be as bad as the first guy. Kathy has a horrible striped blouse on and a small guitar. She starts singing and it’s ok, but when she hits a high note, she kind of screeches. She’s out too.
Kelli thought this lady couldn’t be worse than the first guy. She was wrong.
Next is a guy named Breck. Unless he’s hawking haircare, he’s out. He asks Kelli if she is a singer. This made me wonder why he thought he was being interviewed. Anyway he tells Kelli that he has developed “The Art of Body Singing”. He looks at the voice like an instrument and takes a tour. He shows his technique using his guitar and has Kelli do some exercises.
Kelli’s third interview proved to be the scariest of them all. Good thing the camera crew is with Kelli.
He is impressed with Kelli’s voice and tells her she has a great voice. Kelli doesn’t really like this guy either so he’s out.
Next up is our little public school girl. Taylor is practicing in her dance class. After school, Taylor has gymnastics, then dance classes. She normally doesn’t get home until 10PM. This is having an effect on her school work and her Mom is concerned.
Taylor wants to study dance in college and then become a “star”. I didn’t know you could major in “star”. Wow, I was thinking of just being an analyst, but star is way cooler, I wonder if you become a flop by failing in your core star classes.
Taylor at dance practice. Too bad she doesn’t study as much as she dances.
Parents are attending this evenings dance rehearsal so Taylor’s Mom and brother are in the audience. Taylor is nervous because there is a hole in the crotch of the tights she is wearing. The dress she is wearing is very short and when the dancing starts, it’s evident that Taylor needs to change. So the teacher stops the performance and Taylor puts on some little black shorts.
Taylor laughs when she realizes she put on her crotchless fishnets instead of the ones for dance class.
Then they start up the dance again. It’s kind of cute, they use folding chairs as props and move them around and sit on them doing kicks and laying back on them. It’s cute in a slutty stripper kind of a way.
Taylor first noticed the open crotch on her fishnets during this move. The audience noticed too.
Over to the Queen. Jessie is having lunch with her Mom. Mom looks like Jessie but with more hair and she has a much more pleasant personality. I’m just kidding, there is nothing pleasant about either of these two.
Jessie’s Mom has a smooth and shiny forehead.
Jessie tells her Mom she wants to be in fashion marketing or PR. Her Mom tells her it’s important for her to get an internship with a designer. Jessie says that NYC kids grow up a little faster and get different work opportunities. It’s like you’re an adult when you’re 16. I am so sick of hearing how they are adults at 16, anyone else with me on that?
Jessie’s Mom tells her how much she enjoyed their lunch and how much she appreciated having the time to talk with her. She says she will book another appointment with her to have lunch soon. Yikes, Mom has to make an appointment when she wants to have lunch with her teenage daughter!! Doesn’t anyone on this show know where their kids are and what they’re doing?
Jessie’s Mom manages to get an appointment to have lunch with her daughter. She’s such a busy Queen of The Damned, there’s a 6 month wait just to get bitched at by our highness.
Ahh, finally we get to see what our hair flip master, Sebastian is doing. Sebastian is having a dinner date with a new girl, her name is Angel, a private school girl. I think it’s really annoying how everyone is introduced by saying whether or not they are from a private school. Who cares?
Anyway, Angel is a senior and when she finds out that Sebastian is a sophomore she says “ohhhh, a sweet little sophomore, not a care in the world.” I think I like this girl.
Angel is not impressed with Sebastian and/or his hair.
Sebastian is all excited about dating Angel because she is older. He says look how accomplished he is and he’s only in the 10th grade.” Angel tells him that she had an interview for admission to Vassar today.
Angel looks at Sebastian’s hair and says “I can see you in California”. Sebastian says “it’s because of the hair, right?” Then he tells her a lot of people think that he must be a surfer. Angel says his long hair is also very European.
Sebastian tells us that his mother speaks French and that girls in the city see him as the French guy. He says he likes to speak French around girls because they really like it and it works.
Poor Sebastard, read what happens next.
So Angels says , “I speak French”. Sebastian says “What can you say?” as though she only memorized a few sentences, maybe about sex or something. But Angel bursts the bubble and away goes the rest of Sebastard’s manhood when she says “I speak French, I interned and worked in Paris.”
Angel speaks fluent French. Too bad for Sebastard, even his hair looks flat.
I don’t think Sebastard ever encountered someone who speaks fluent French. He hates it when the girls are smarter than he is, which is starting to happen more and more often.
Sebastian says “I went to the Louvre” in his most tacky French accent and “I saw the Mona Lisa.” Angel replies that she thinks the Mona Lisa is “over-rated”. Interesting point of view .
Angel is fluent in French and makes Sebastard’s comments about the Louvre and the Mona Lisa seem ridiculous.
Sebastian says to us that it ruined him that Angel speaks French and that he doesn’t think they will hang out very much. Especially since she is not interested in him and his little French thing didn’t work. Poor Sebastard, he struck out again.
Sebastard is shot down again. How dare his date speak fluent French and not fall for his hair flip!!
Taylor is done dancing and now she is ice skating with Cole. He wants to know if they are “for real” now since the whole Sebastian thing is over. Taylor says yes, we’re for real and that she and Cole are happy and skate off into the sunset.
Taylor and Cole, this won’t last long unless Cole’s family strikes it rich in the lotto.
Back at Jessie’s house, Camille has arrived to talk about Operation Smile with Jessie. She is invited in by a very subdued Jessie who is dressed like a pilgrim. In fact Jessie is almost nice to her guest. They sit and talk and Jessie says she can use all the help she can get. So far so good. Camille is serious, she wants to help and Jessie needs the help.
Camille meets with Jessie to start working on the “Operation Smile” charity. I don’t think Camille should sit so close to Jessie, she might catch something.
Did anyone else notice Camille is also cross-eyed? This is hard to watch. They focus on each other with one eye and the other eye is dancing around the room like it’s chasing a fly ball at Yankee stadium.
Only the very elite private school girls get the famous “Wonky Eye”. Camille is thrilled she can look in two directions at the same time!
After they talk about the charity, Jessie asks Camille if she has gone to an all-girl school all her life and Camille says yes.
Jessie says she needs to be around her male friends and that they keep her sane. She can’t imagine not having the guys around. Plus Jessie says she is obsessed with her school. She goes to Dwight with PC and Kat.
Camilla (name changes from Camille to Camilla when she turns mean) says she heard that Dwight is a more relaxed school. Oh, Camilla just when we thought you were going to play nice, you go and pick on Jessie’s school.
Camilla says Jessie’s school is easier than her school. Nyah, nyah, nyah. One thing is sure, neither school wastes time teaching the tired old worn out subject of manners.
Jessie tells her if someone told you that it isn’t true and they are lying. Off camera, Camilla says she has friends that went to Dwight. They got time off for parties and she says “They probably get Earth Day off.”.
Off camera Jessie says “Kids in my school go to amazing colleges, so why don’t you check our records out before you say something Camille.” Then she winks at the camera.
Jessie really shouldn’t wink when she wants to make a point, unless of course she wants to illicit laughter.
After the meeting with Camilla, Jessie and Kat are snacking in her kitchen. They are eating like they haven’t had food for years. They are snaking on all kinds of crap and Jessie is even making microwave popcorn. The doorbell starts to ring over and over, Jessie knows it’s PC, I knew it was PC too, who else would be so rude to ring the bell over and over again.
PC comes in and says that the biggest problem he had this week is that “his tux wasn’t tight enough. ” He says that’s how you know things are good. Forget the whole health and happy family, just checking the tautness of his clothes will tell you how this prepster feels.
PC visits with Jessie and Kat. He’s having a great week, except his tux wasn’t tight enough. I don’t even want to know what that means or why he wants his tux tight.
PC says “There’s nothing worse than a boring, obnoxious, just really plain, well-behaved girl.” Oh, I can think of something worse, I think everyone reading this can think of something worse.
Jessie’s Mom Susan comes in and says hi to Kat and PC. PC tells her she looks stunning. Jessie says stop trying to charm the pants off my Mom. Then she says “could you please stop flirting with my MOM?” Yes PC, stop before I lose my dinner.
ICK, PC is flirting with Jessie’s MOM!!! I think he really has a thing for older women and others.
PC says every woman needs to hear that she’s beautiful. Really PC? Tell us more about women!! Jessie tells him “do not use the words , my Mom, sex and you in the same sentence.” All I can think of is the time that Tad slept with Liza and her Mom on “All My Children”. Ooh, bad picture in my brain.
Kelli our songbird has found herself a coach. The lady’s name is Badiene and she is very nice looking, nice clothes, beautiful home and seems really normal. She asks Kelli a few questions to test her knowledge of music. Kelli knows how to read music but not much beyond that.
Kelli says she is feeling kind of overwhelmed. Then she starts singing the national anthem and she is singing very well. Badiene tells her she is very impressed and that she wants to do a demo and send Kelli to a stylist. This is just what Kelli wanted to hear. Looks like things are looking up for our little dead girl.
Kelli’s new vocal coach Badiene. She wants to create a new image for Kelli. She’s thinking of getting Kelli a stylist and doing a demo. She wants to call it “Kelli!” I wonder how much she is being paid to say this stuff to Kelli?
Over at the public school house, Taylor’s Mom is opening her report card. It must be bad news because she says “holy sh*t”. Taylor says “look Mom I got a 92.” She looks and says “Taylor that was in gym.”.
Taylor tries to distract her Mom by pointing out the 92 in gym class. It didn’t work.
Taylor’s mom is upset and says “If you don’t change your work now, you won’t get into a good college. All your friends will be applying and getting in to good colleges, and you won’t.” Taylor’s Mom says she wants Taylor to drop some of her dance classes, but Taylor refuses. She can do it all if she just makes better use of her time. Nice try Taylor, but I have a feeling your grades won’t improve unless you cutback on dancing.
Once again we see PC and he is back to visit his therapist Audrey and her overly decorated office. Poor Audrey, she tried to hang herself after PC’s last visit, but she didn’t want to ruin a Hermes scarf.
I wonder if there is a waiting period in this state for purchasing a hand gun. Or maybe I should just start drinking heavily.
PC tells her he has been busy with school and has some things up in the air about college. He says he would rather be having fun during high school than work. But she says he works hard and plays hard.
Audrey asks PC what he does on weekends and he says “Sex, drugs and rock ‘n roll” A very macho answer for someone whose tux can never be tight enough. Audrey is concerned and she asks him “is there a lot of drinking among your cohorts?” Cohorts must be a fancy term for friends used by folks that live on the UES and go to private school.
I call this one “Portrait of The Artist as a Young Asshole.”
PC says of course everyone drinks. He tells her that eighth grade is the time to learn to drink. I thought the 8th grade is when you have your first school dance, silly me.
Audrey asks him if he goes to a lot of clubs. He says yes, if you’re bored you’ll buy drugs and do stupid things and that will lead you to a very bad road.
PC tells her it’s just that everyone has sex with each other and betrays each other. Everything starts to get a little more ridiculous. Plus all the inbreeding is really effecting the younger generation. I think if he just started using condoms, it might improve his life a great deal and cut down on crabs.
Good for you Audrey, you’re still awake! You are really earning your fee this week.
Back to our Queen Jessie. She is doing a cover letter to get an internship with a designer. She wants to jump start her career and get going with it. Jessie says when you grow up in a city like NY, it’s not uncommon for kids to have internships. Honey, people have internships all over this country, it’s not just an NYC thing.
Jessie’s Mom is reading her resume and she says it’s very impressive, probably because it allows her to find out what her child has been doing these past few years. Jessie says sometimes she has to remind herself that she’s only 17 and she has time to do so many things. But it’s hard because Jessie says she is ready to work. I wonder how well she’ll take instructions from snot nosed kids put in charge of interns?
PC is going to work!!! I know I couldn’t believe it either. He has an apprenticeship through a friend to work with a photographer. He is going to work with Zack Michaels, a fashion photographer.
They are doing a photo shoot for Social Life magazine. The editor in chief Devorah is also at the shoot along with a stylist, Trey and a model named Katie.
The first thing Zack asks PC to do is to move a bunch of chairs so they won’t be in the shot. PC starts moving the chairs and says that he is not used to doing manual labor. I think that’s a huge understatement, he has probably never done any work, ever.
PC greets Devorah. She is the editor of the magazine that will be using the pictures.
Zack asks PC to set the camera on a tripod. He does it incorrectly, but that’s ok, it’s just his first time. Then PC says he was getting a little overwhelmed. So far all he had to do is move chairs and put a camera on a tripod, there was no real work. I guess when compared to spending your days posing and trying on clothes and drinking, this is a very stressful day.
Devorah tells PC that he should ask Katie out for a date because she is so cute. Then Trey (a guy)the stylist says why can’t he ask me out? I guess it’s an equal opportunity employment relationship.
They are done shooting Katie so Devorah decides to take pictures of Zack and she asks PC to join him and unbutton his shirt. They end up taking their shirts off and as Devorah takes pictures, PC unbuckles Zack’s belt. Quite a first day for our PC.
These NYC kids certainly have interesting jobs.
When they are finally done, PC gets Trey’s phone number. Hmmm, I thought he would at least get the phone number of the guy he was undressing.
Jessie is at Charlotte Ronson’s applying for the job of intern. When she arrives she finds out they are hiring 2 out of the 5 applicants. They are also doing a group interview. Jessie says she has a problem with this because she is not used to having to sell herself. She says she feels like a hooker. Someone should tell Jessie that being a hooker is harder work than talking to some kid about working for free.
Jessie uses her wonky eye to try and get an advantage over the other applicants for the internship.
Well that’s all for this week kids, but I must spill a little about next week’s previews.
First Sebastian sees Kelli and says ” Now that I’m not hanging out with Taylor, I think we should hang out.” Kelli says “No, I’m not your back up” I never thought she would stand up for herself, GO KELLI.
Kelli tells Sebastian to hit the road, she’s not his consolation prize.
And of course, no preview is complete without PC doing something unbelievable.
It’s fashion week in NYC. PC, Jessie and Kat are at a fashion show and Kat is in the front row with Jessie and PC is stuck right behind them. He is very angry about being in the second row. Then he says to Kat “I want you to know you’re a c***”.” I can’t believe he uses that word. I won’t even say that outloud!! and he has used it twice so far!!
Am I the only one who thinks PC’s use of that word is loathsome?
Well that’s all for this week Gasmii. The dead kids need to go back into their coffins and rest up for fashion week.
See you on the red carpet next week. I’ll get dressed up for next week’s showing, maybe put on shoes or something.
Love and luck,