It’s Fashion Week in NYC!! Can you feel the excitement? I can hardly wait to see the tall stick thin girls walk around in clothes that no one will wear.
There are leg warmers that look like someone skinned a Wookie. There are hats so big you can’t fit them in an elevator and heels so high you’ll get a nosebleed if you wear them. But it’s ART!!! and more importantly, these things have labels from well-known designers and each article costs more than you make in a year.
No Wookies were harmed during the making of this episode.
It just like that old saying, “Crap is crap, but expensive crap is treasured like a diamond.” (This is not really an old saying, it’s an original TVannie saying)
In addition to the awful clothes, there are the hair and makeup creations. Some believe that the makeup and hair trends on the runway will influence how regular people do their hair and makeup in the upcoming season. You would have to be on drugs to think these hair and makeup combinations look good.
On the other hand, if each model’s head is shaved on one side and shellacked to a brilliant shine on the other side with an empty beer can entwined as some sort of sculpture and their makeup includes black eyelids and pasty white lips, will you do that to yourself before work or for an evening out with the girls?
So let’s get right to this week’s episode before someone feeds a model and her hideous outfit bursts and she puts someone’s eye out with her bony ribs.
Jessie is just so happy she crawled out of the coffin last week for her job interview because she got the job at Charlotte Ronson working as an intern for no pay. Of course our dearly beloved Queen of the Damned is as gracious as usual. Jessie says she is “seven years younger than the rest of the applicants and she has the same work experience. That’s a bit pathetic don’t you think?”
Jessie is a smarty pants about her work experience and ready to take over fashion week.
Jessie goes to work at the Charolotte Ronson fashion show. When she walks in and sees Matt (her boss), he looks at her and says he’s glad she’s there, then he looks at her brown tweed jacket and says “this isn’t black take it off” Jessie tells him she wears it everyday. Matt doesn’t care to hear her explanation, he dismisses her to remove the non-black item. It seems to me that our fashion queen Jessie should know 1) that everyone wears black head to toe in the fashion business and 2) no one is interested in an intern’s opinion.
After her jacket is off, Jessie looks around for something to do. There are a lot of interns just standing around and no one seems to know what to do. Matt asks Jessie and another girl to watch a door and make sure that no one enters through it.
Jessie’s first assignment, guarding a door. Perfect job for Jessie, she can look in two directions at once.
After a few minutes of watching a closed door, Jessie and her intern friend decide that they can watch the door and the fashion show at the same time. Jessie the Queen of the Damned is showing us her great organizational skills and her ability to multi-task. Wow, she is practically on her way to running the whole fashion show by herself. Soon she’ll be barking orders at some interns of her own and making them feel lower than dirt. Jessie will excel at barking orders and placing blame on others.
Unfortunately Charlotte Ronson’s staff did not recognize that Jessie is a fashion genius. Even though she is a natural watchdog with a nasty bite, and probably the best little door watcher ever, Jessie quits this job and moves on to bigger and better things namely Carmen Marc Valvo.
Even if this internship doesn’t work out, it doesn’t really matter because her family is stinking rich and she doesn’t really have to work if she doesn’t want to. Jessie could just sit around on her big fat trust fund and watch it grow all the while yelling at a whole pack of interns she pays minimum wage to listen to her abusive language and find her eye when she misplaces it.
Jessie is not the only rich kid in heaven this week. PC is as happy as a drag queen in Cher’s closet. PC wants to share his enthusiasm for fashion so he invites Taylor to her very first fashion show! PC wants to guide and educate Taylor so he has taken her under his very stylish wing. PC also invited Kat his obnoxious classmate and Taylor invited her new/old boyfriend Cole. What a happy foursome this will be.
The power couples arrive at the show and PC is in his element. He’s prancing around outside the venue, which appears to be the New York City Library in his sunglasses and a tweed jacket and jeans. He feels it’s his duty to school Taylor, remember she is his project. Taylor makes a nearly fatal error right off the bat, she sees Amanda Bynes and she freaks out. “Oh My God!” she tells Cole, “There’s Amanda Bynes!!”
PC springs to action and tells Taylor that she should not act excited when she sees a celebrity. He tells her to just act cool because if she does then the celebrity will think she is cool. So Taylor tries to reel it in, but she is really excited. PC is kind of freaked out by Taylor’s immediate glee over spotting a celebrity, but he is not giving up on Taylor just yet. He takes everyone inside to their “front row” seats and the Jill Stuart collection.
PC, Kat, Taylor and Cole at the Jill Stuart fashion show.
PC is very into the front row, he comments that if you sit anywhere other than the front row, it’s not even worth going to see the show. In fact, he says if he doesn’t have front row tickets, he won’t go to a show. Somehow I think he will live to regret those words.
Before the show starts, PC and Kat make comments about the people coming in to see the show. When Paris Hilton sits down across the aisle, Taylor gets very excited, but doesn’t show it. Later in the show Taylor confesses to the camera that when she saw Paris, she wanted to run up and hug her. This is the first time Taylor is acting like a normal teenager, too bad it doesn’t last longer, but Taylor is on a mission to be with private school kids, so excitement over celebrities is a definite no-no.
Meanwhile the show starts. PC and Kat keep their sunglasses on and say things like incredible and nod their heads a lot. They are acting very much like a couple of bored rich kids. I wonder how long it takes for someone to get the bored, sunglass wearing, nodding personna down to a science? It looks like PC and Kat are cool, if cool means acting like douche bags.
Taylor and Cole on the other hand are making the sort of comments a normal person would make. One of the model has “a mean face” says Cole and when he sees a really pretty dress he tells Taylor “you would look good in that.” Of course, PC can hear some of their comments so he tells them to pay attention to the hair and the makeup and take notes on what it looks like. Taylor seems very impressed with PC, I think she’s actually falling for this shit.
PC is like the annoying person that interrupts you during the movie to explain something you don’t care about.
PC continues to tell Cole and Taylor what they should be doing during the fashion show. It’s hard for PC to put on his urbane metrosexual personna and school these two fashion show virgins at the same time.
As they are leaving the show, Taylor thanks PC for getting her the tickets and the two couples part. As PC and Kat are walking away he says that Taylor “seemed a little less retarded today.” Something makes me think that Taylor is going to regret the free ticket to the fashion show. I wonder what PC is really up to, regarding his “Project Taylor.”
PC never misses an opportunity to be an asshole.
A few days later, Kelli is meeting Sebastian to see the Erin Fetherston fashion show together. Kelli is happy to be spending time with Sebastian and Sebastian thinks it is a perfect time to hang out with Kelli, now that Taylor is out of his life.
Sebastian greets Kelli at the show and says “Now that I’m done with Taylor, you and I can maybe hang out.” Kelli looks at him like he just peed on her leg and says “No, I’m not your backup girl.”
Kelli “I ain’t no holla back girl!!”
Way to go Kelli, standing up for herself to Sebastian!! She was gaga over this guy, but he overlooked her in favor of Taylor and Kelli was hurt. I’m so glad Kelli had the backbone to stand up to Sebastian and keep him from using her as a second choice. No one wants to be told they are a backup girl.
Poor Sebastian, rejected again. Come to think of it, he hasn’t had a good night with a girl since the preview show. I think his hair flip thing is getting old. He needs to get a new strategy for attracting women. For one thing, it would help if he stopped dating girls that speak French better than he does. Maybe Sebastard is just going through an awkward stage or maybe it’s Karma. Whatever it is, it’s fun to watch.
Sebastian thinks Kelli must be bi-polar, first she likes him, then she doesn’t. Sebastian, she’s not bipolar, she’s just not your consolation prize and you can’t hypnotize her with your hair flip anymore.
Also at the Erin Fetherston show, PC is sitting (in the front row of course), with Devorah, the magazine editor. PC is busy posing and acting cool through the whole show. He and Devorah make a perfect disturbingly pale and thin couple. Obviously these two avoid sunlight and food like the plague.
PC and Devorah in the front row at Erin Featherston. They pay attention to, the clothes, makeup and hair. They appreciate fashion as an art. Blah,blah,blah…
However, back a few rows at the same show, Sebastian says what we are all thinking, “no one would wear this shit.” I agree with Sebastard for a change, but PC could defend the designer and explain why we should want outrageously expensive unwearable freak clothes. It’s times like these that make me glad I’m excited about the fall Eddie Bauer catalog.
Sebastian’s right “no one would wear this stuff”. He’s the only one who says it outloud.
After the show PC sees Kelli and decides to use this opportunity to apologize to her about his bad behavior at Camille’s dinner party. PC tells Kelli “I knew I was being an asshole. I’m sorry.” He also says that they don’t have to be friends. Kelli is not impressed and says ” I feel like I’m fighting with a chick.” Sebastian is watching this confrontation and decides to stay out of it because Kelli is defending herself very well and doesn’t need any help.
PC admits he was very rude. But Kelli is tired of PC and his attitude, she’s heard enough and walks away.
When Kelli has had enough of PC and his phony apology, she walks away and says “he’s such a douche bag.” Congratulations Kelli, you stood up to PC and Sebastian on the same day. That’s a lot of work for an undead girl like you. Go eat something.
Kelli and Sebastian leave the fashion show. Kelli has just ripped PC a new one and told Sebastian off for thinking she would be desperate enough to be his back up girl. I wouldn’t blame Sebastian if he was kind of afraid to walk home alone with this girl.
But Gasmii, fashion week is not over, there are more crazy clothes to look at and more skinny models to envy. We join PC, Kat and Jessie at the Pamela Roland Show. As they enter, PC sees Devorah and goes over to talk to her. Jessie shakes Devorah’s hand and says hi, but she doesn’t like Devorah and doesn’t want to get to know her so she and Kat go to find their seats.
PC greets Devorah at the Pamela Roland show.
The thing is, Jessie has 3 tickets. Two seats in the front row and one in the second row right behind the other seats. Since PC is busy talking to his new friend, Jessie and Kat sit in the front row even though Jessie promised PC one of the front row tickets.
PC finishes talking to Devorah and joins Jessie and asks Kat to move, she says no. Jessie has no sympathy for PC and tells him to go and sit with his new friend. PC is really upset and says that Jessie and Kat are acting like little girls.
Jessie tries to get the kids to stop fighting in front of everyone at the fashion show, not to mention the camera.
Actually, PC is the one acting like a little girl, he is throwing a hissy fit because he wants to sit in the front row. PC just stands there telling Kat to move, but Kat doesn’t move an inch and just sits there watching PC making a fool of himself.
PC never admits defeat so instead of stomping away and slamming a door, he insults Kat with the most vulgar word in the English Language.
I can’t believe the way this miserable excuse for a human being throws that word around. It’s such an awful thing to say and he does it all the time. Why do these girls put up with him?
Kat attempts to ward off PC’s verbal assault by doing “Bunny Ears” but it doesn’t work and only succeeds in making us all wonder what the heck she is doing.
With the fashion shows in full swing, Kelli and her Mom and Camille and Kelli’s new stylist are going to see a new designer to help Kelli pick out new clothes to fit her new image, that of Kelli!. Badiene thought up Kelli’s stage name all on her own, Kelli!. I realize it’s just her name and an exclamation point, but imagine the confidence it will instill in this young girl as she tries to conquer the music business. Kelli’s new single name is iconic like Cher or Charo or even Bjork, except of course, they are all famous and she’s not.
Kelli is going to this fashion show to pick clothes for her new image “Kelli!”. Clever name don’t you think?
Back to Jessie’s life. Jessie is very excited about her new job opportunity working for Carmen Marc Valvo. Jessie knows if she works hard, she can get more responsibility and learn a lot about the fashion industry. She invites PC to a party/fashion show so he can see where she works and see the clothes. Unfortunately PC brings an entourage. He was the only one invited, but he brings Zack, Trey and Devorah to the party. Jessie is very angry and tells him that the guest does not invite other guests to this party. PC is not apologizing, he tells Jessie that they are cool people and that a stylist, photographer and a magazine editor are the perfect people to bring to a designer’s party.
This is Frank, he is Jessie’s boss at Carmen Marc Valvo (CMV). He looks like he is happy, but he does mention the people she invited to the party and that he was surprised at the the company she keeps. That’s a nice way of saying he doesn’t approve of her friends.
Jessie gets even more angry when PC leaves the party to go out with Devorah, Trey and Zack instead of going home. He has school the next day and Jessie thinks he is running around too much and should not hang out with people that are steering him down the wrong road and encouraging him to blow off his school work and classes. Jessie is beginning to act like PC’s Mom, which will interfere with her duties at Carmen Marc Valvo and Queen of the Damned.
A few days later, Sebastian is out on another date with a new girl. This time it’s another girl who is 17 and is very pretty, her name is Daniella. As they begin to talk, Sebastian is shocked to hear that she knows Cole. And the more they talk, the worse it gets. It turns out that Daniella knows Cole and Taylor. He tells the camera that he really likes this girl and that she seems really nice.
Daniella is very pretty, but she has a serious flaw. She attends public school. Poor thing, she’ll never get ahead in this madcap world of Manhattan if she goes to a public school.
Sebastian tells Daniella that Taylor is the first public school girl he dated. Daniella says “I guess that means I’m your second public school girl.” Sebastian decides right then and there that he is not going out with her again because of the bad experience with the other public school girl Taylor. Just before the date ends Daniella asks “Can I touch your hair?”
Sebastian says no and says he thought this was a weird request. He says he’s not like a dog. Actually Sebastian, I think a dog is a perfect description of Sebastian and the way he treats girls.
Daniella wants to pet Sebastian like a dog. He should be flattered to be treated like this little guy.
Over in Jessie’s world, she is still working for Carmen Marc Valvo and it’s lasted over 24 hours. When Jessie gets to the office she gets an interesting assignment. She is going with Carmen MV himself and the PR guy Frank to a warehouse in New Jersey to pull old gowns from prior years to use for a charity fashion show. Jessie actually likes this assignment and gets to know the designer and Frank a little better. The clothes are beautiful and Jessie says she feels like she is in heaven. I agree the clothes are beautiful. It would be great to have the opportunity to see some of these beautiful dresses in person.
Carmen Marc Valvo looking through racks of his dresses to find some for a charity fashion show.
After a long day of first school and then picking dresses in Jersey, Jessie meets up with PC. She tells him that she is very angry with him for bringing those people (his entourage) to the fashion show. She says she invited him, not all his friends. She also tells PC, that she is being judged by the company she keeps and that her boss Frank mentioned PC’s friends and Jessie is upset that this incident makes her look bad.
Jessie tells PC he is surrounded by users and she starts to cry. PC holds her hand and appears to be comforting her. It’s weird, almost like they are human with feelings and everything. I’m sure this won’t last, they’ll be drummed out of their coven if they exhibit caring or any other human emotions.
Jessie holds PC hands and squeezes it hard until he apologizes.
PC tells Jessie he is sorry and will do anything to make it up to her. He even offers to send a note to CMV or go and see him in person to apologize. PC is really feeling badly about bringing those people to Jessie’s party. He didn’t realize that his actions could reflect badly on Jessie’s employment.
Jessie will hold her breath until PC apologizes.
Before long, Jessie has PC right where she wants him and he apologizes and grovels at her feet. Well played Jessie, you are a class A number 1 guilt monger. PC is wrapped around Jessie’s little finger. Now maybe he’ll start acting like the person she liked before and he will drop his new friends in favor of Jessie and join her in belittling their castmates that they are forced to hang around with, like Kelli!, Camille and Taylor. This is a golden opportunity for Jessie, she better not screw this up.
What a week, I’m glad fashion week is only twice a year, aren’t you? All the excitement and glamour and backstabbing and vicious looks, and that’s just from me yelling at my TV.
Until next week Gasmii
Love and luck,