Hey Gasmi! Before we get started on this week’s recap, my apologies for the tardiness of this episode’s recap. It’s been one of those weeks were it seems like real life kept conspiring against my recapping plans at every turn. Shit, it’s almost as if the Evil Queen herself was trying to thwart my plans!!
Ha! I knew it! Let’s blame it on her, mmkay?? Also, I want to take a minute to thank all of you for being here and for your fabulous comments week after week. Who knew that a show about fairy tales could generate such great debate and commentary?
Anyway, I don’t think I can ever say enough how much I love hearing from you and truly enjoy sharing the experience of this show with people who obviously love it (even when we’re hating some things about it) as much as I do. Oy! What is with this show making me all lovey dovey?? We’d better get to the recap before I start writing poetry to y’all!!
This week we shift from Rumpy’s tale back over to Snow and Charming. We start in Fairyland where Abigail has arrived and is greeted by King George. He’s looking as cranky as ever, but doesn’t tell her that part of the crankiness is due to Charming playing runaway groom.
That boy is going to get a royal spanking when I catch him!
Charming is being pursued through the woods by the King’s men, and it looks like they might be gaining on him. One thing is sure, they are shooting at him! I guess the King doesn’t care how he gets him back at this point. Luckily for him a tree has fallen across the roadway and only his horse is able to jump over it. Too bad Charming falls right into the hands of another pair of knights! I guess King George hired some outside help on this one!
In Storybrooke, David and Kathryn sit down to what appears to be a rather awkward dinner. I don’t think it’s the first either. More than ever, Kathryn wants to save her failing marriage, and tells David that she’s gotten into law school, IN BOSTON, which means they can get the fuck out of here and start a new life for themselves away from old memories. Or the lack of them.
Back to Fairyland. Turns out the guys that captured Charming don’t work for the king at all; they are Abigail’s men. You see, she may be a lot of things, but stupid isn’t one of them. She knows that he’s in love with Snow White and has no intention of marrying her. He will not marry someone he doesn’t love; if that means suffering the consequences, so be it. Abigail seems impressed that he would lay down his life: “How Charming”. Hey, don’t sweat it James, she doesn’t want to marry you either.
LOLOLOLOLOLOL! Charming’s look there is hilarious as he clearly is in shock about her lack of feelings for him. Inconceivable!!
In Storybrooke, David is meeting up with Mary Margaret to fill her in on Kathryn’s news. He made up an excuse about going for a walk to clear his head, but of course didn’t tell Kathryn it’s with Mary Margaret. She wonders why their default is always lying. She says she knows it’s hard, but they need to tell Kathryn the truth.
He doesn’t know if he can. He HAS to , Mary Margaret replies. If they can’t be honest with other people, how can they be honest with each other?
Oh my fucking god! For Chrissake, grow a pair David!!!!! UGH. Mary Margaret points out that it’s better that Kathryn hear it from him than from someone else. He has got to make a choice. He chooses her.
Then hide all the knives and tell your fucking wife!
Over at Granny’s, Emma runs into The Stranger coming out as she’s getting ready to go in. He’s hoping they can finally have that drink she promised him. Is he asking her out? “If putting a label on it makes you more comfortable, then sure.” He replies. HEE!!! That’s all fine and dandy, but she has policy: she doesn’t go out with guys that won’t tell her their names. She’s found that helps weed out those who are already married, or guys with body parts stored in their freezers. Damn! Who the hell has she been dating?
Not me! I’m not into girls!
He tells her his name: August. August W. Booth. How fancy! The W. stands for Wayne. So….there goes her reason for not meeting him right here after work – later gator!!
Emma heads inside to meet up with Mary Margaret who wants to know about the guy. Emma doesn’t know who he is yet; it’s nothing. Mary Margaret points out that nothing with Emma is always something. If it was nothing they wouldn’t be talking about. Emma changes the subject saying she thought they were meeting to talk about Mary Margaret.
Mary Margaret confesses to Emma that she’s been secretly seeing David. Emma’s like DUUUUUHHH. Yeah, they are not nearly as slick as they think they are! Why didn’t Emma say anything? Uh, cause I’m not your mom, Emma tells her. “According to Henry I’m YOURS.” counters Mary Margaret. LOVE it.
Over at David and Kathryn’s he’s ready to break it to his fake wife. He is not going to Boston with her. But why? Here it comes……”something is preventing me from connecting with you.” ARGH!!!!!!! Are you kidding me David?!?!?!? What a fucking wimp.
Over in Fairyland, Abigail has gotten Charming over the border into her own kingdom. Charming doesn’t get why she’s helping him, and she tells him she doesn’t want to marry him because her heart also belongs to another; a man she once was supposed to wed, a man named Frederick.
She’s hoping that reuniting him with his lost love will grant her some consolation at losing hers. Well, that’s not gonna happen, Charming tells her, because his love told him she doesn’t love him back. You can’t fight for something that doesn’t exist.
They enter a clearing and Abigail tells him that it is here that her beloved Frederick sacrificed his life.
So life like!
James asked her what happened, and she tells him of an ambush and how Frederick was accidentally turned to gold while saving her father’s (King Midas) life. Ooooooooo…….remember in the episode “The Sheppard” the warning about what happened to Frederick????
Charming asks Abigail if she’s tried using True Love’s kiss to set him free. Yep, until her lips were bruised and bloody. But, there MUST be another way. Perhaps. She’s heard of a lake that whose waters contain magic. The only problem is that the lake is guarded by a hideous monster that drowns all who approach. So……how does anyone know the water is magic?
Why must you ask these silly questions? Just GO WITH IT, mmmkay??
James decides that he will undertake this quest for magical waters. After all, one of them should be able to be with their true love, and since Snow told him she doesn’t love him, he’ll help Abigail get Frederick back. Sigh. Anyone notice that the more awesome Charming is, the bigger pussy David becomes? It’s incredibly frustrating.
Not for me.
Oh can it, you bitch!
We switch back to Storybrooke, fading in on a book page that details the scene we just witnessed. August has these pages and is dipping them into some sort of liquid (perhaps sheep’s oil?????!!) and then hanging them on a line to dry.
What the hell is he up to?
Ooohhhh, looks like he’s adding pages to the book; he must be aging the pages he just wrote (or rewrote) so that no one can tell. Veeeeerrry interesting. Is he adding pages that Henry tore out? Switching up the stories that are already in there? Adding new tales? I can’t wait to find out! Anyone else think more than ever that he’s Rumpy’s son? Me too.
From books to video games. You see, Regina has decided that she will replace Henry’s lost book with a video game. This way, he can be the one to save the princesses and fight evil. Blah, blah, blah. Personally, I’m not a big video game person myself, so I see that as yet another sign of her crappy parenting.
I know, I know, video games have their purpose and I’m sure plenty of people could tell me all the benefits of video games, but I’ll still take a room full of books over those ANY day of the week. I could go on and on about my love of books, but either you get it or you don’t and we certainly don’t have to agree on everything. Except for the fact that Regina is a heinous bitch.
Kathryn arrives looking distraught, so Regina sends Henry home. Kathryn is devastated that David is leaving her and Regina mutters something about “that little homewrecker”. Kathryn doesn’t know what the hell Regina is talking about, so she breaks the news about David’s affair with Mary Margaret.
Is that a little note of glee I detect under her fake concern?
You know she’s loving this. For all the bullcrap about being Kathryn’s friend, Regina’s pure joy in life is making other people miserable.
Kathryn wants to know how the hell she knows about the affair. Well, Sydney had taken some pictures (you know how he’s always trying to dig up dirt on everyone) so Regina had seen them. Why didn’t she say anything? They were working on their marriage, so she didn’t want to get in the way of that. But look! She just happens to have those pictures handy right here on her desk.
Kathryn is hurt by the photos; it’s so clear to see just how much David and Mary Margaret love each other. She’s also PISSED at Regina for not telling her. She tells her she’s a real shitty friend before storming out of there.
In Fairyland, James and Abigail have arrived at the shrine of the lake. There’s a bunch of junk strewn around and Abigail tells James that anyone arriving here leaves an offering hoping that it will help to appease the beastly guardian of the lake.
James tells Abigail that he’s continuing on to the lake alone, and after a somewhat feeble protest, she relents. He does NOT leave an offering, stating the obvious fact that it doesn’t seem to have worked or anyone before.
In Storybrooke, David is looking at pictures of Kathryn. He picks up the phone to call Mary Margaret and tell her that he’s broken the news to Kathryn. He said it was really rough, but Mary Margaret is glad he told the truth; now they can pick up the pieces. They can start over from a real place.
Oh no, sillies, he doesn’t come clean with her about being a giant PUSS, instead he changes the subject and asks if he can come by to see her after school. Yep! Mary Margaret tells him he did the right thing…..
Kathryn storms into the school!! She practically knocks over a gym teacher on her way in
Who gives her a meaningful startled glance that I’m sure will mean absolutely nothing
Before reaching Mary Margaret and slapping her in the face!! Mary Margaret tries to calm her down, saying that she and David have been completely honest; they didn’t lie. HA!!!!! What a crock of shit!! Kathryn clues Mar Margaret in to just HOW “honest” David has been about the situation.
Heart = breaking
Poor Mary Margaret.
Meanwhile, Charming has reached the lake without incident. After gathering some of the water in his canteen, he sees a ripple through the water. He demands that the creature show itself. So it does……
Yeah, Soooooooo hideous…..
In Storybrooke, August has arrived at Granny’s to pick Emma up for their date. Is it just me, or is there just something about a guy on a bike?
Am I so easily forgotten?!?!?!?
Oh no, Sheriff McHottiePants! Not at all! But damn, a girl can look, right?????
He wants her to hop on and she asks if he wants her to get on the back of his bike. “That’s what hop on means.” LOLOLOLOL!! I can’t help it, he cracks me up. She suggests that maybe she should drive to wherever they’re going, and August tells her she needs to stop having to control everything, and take a leap of faith. Granny has been watching this exchange and yells out that if Emma doesn’t hop on that, she sure as hell will. Hee!
Emma gets on the bike and off they go. They arrive at a clearing where a giant tree sits beside a well.
It is here that he wants to share a drink with her. She can’t believe that he meant a literal watering hole. He tells her that she can say what she wants about him, but he always tells the truth. Interesting. Maybe that’s why he’s so cagey about sharing information; evasion and lying are not the same thing.
Emma thought that a drink meant wine or beer, and August asks if she wanted him to get her drunk. Ha! He flusters her a bit, which I like to see. He says that they say there is something special about this water; there is even a legend. It’s fed by an underground lake which has magical properties. The legend says that if you drink from the well something lost will be returned to you.
Is there also a bridge around here that you want to sell me?
She wants to know how the hell he knows so much about this place, not being from Storybrooke and all. He’s read the plaque. Haahahaha! He probably wrote the fucking plaque, but her face was pretty awesome when he said that! She wonders if he really believes it and he says he’s a writer; he has to have an open mind.
Yeah, but magic? He tells her that water is a very powerful thing; cultures as old as time have worshiped it; it flows throughout all lands, connecting the entire world. If anything were to have mystical properties, if anything had MAGIC, it would be water.
She thinks that’s asking a lot to believe on a faith. He tells her that if she needs evidence for everything, she’s gonna find herself stuck in one place for a very long time. Maybe, or maybe she’ll end up finding the truth before anyone else.
She takes a sip, but nothing happens. Was anyone else hoping that Hottie McSheriffPants would be returned to her? Sigh.
In town, Mary Margaret is dealing with the fallout from her confrontation with Abigail. People on the street are pointing and whispering at her, rushing past, and her illusion that people would be accepting of the love she shares with David is crushed when she bumps into Granny who tells her she should be ashamed.
They don’t like me. They really don’t like me.
It’s awful to see the hurt in her eyes, but I have to think that even if David HAD been honest, this might have happened anyway. This is just one reason why you never get involved with a married man.
Back at the lake, the siren makes her move on Charming, but he is not tempted by her. Well, she’s got more tricks up her sleeves; she can be anyone, anyone at all….
Don’t you want me baby?
She creeps up on Charming, telling him she can be anything he wants her to be, give him everything he desires; all he has to do is kiss her. She reaches out to kiss him and he gives in, dropping his sword into the lake. The distraction doesn’t last though; he snaps out of it telling her this isn’t real. He’s felt real love and this is not it.
She congratulates him and says he’s the first that’s managed to see past the illusion, but that’s not going to save him. The siren grabs Charming and drags him underwater, further and further below the surface, until he (and we) see the skeletons of the knights that have come before him.
For a moment it seems as if Charming will add his corpse to others there, but no! He spies a dagger at the bottom of the lake and is able to grab it and stab her in the stomach. Woo hoo!
In Storybrooke, It whispers and finger pointing aren’t the only things being thrown Mary Margaret’s way; someone has decorated Mary Margaret’s car with the word “TRAMP” in bright red paint. David’s frantically trying to scrub it off, but he’s not gonna get out of the trouble he’s in with her just by cleaning off her car.
She confronts David about his lack of truth telling, but he says he just didn’t want anyone to get hurt! “Now everyone is hurt!” she replies. He thinks with time they can move past all of this, but Mary Margaret has had enough. She tells him that what they have is destructive and it has to stop.
Plus you’re the biggest wimp I’ve ever met in my life.
He’s gonna have to grow some balls before she’s willing to give him another chance.
My heart is breaking for her because I think she really did believe it would all work out if only they told the truth. I think she’s wrong, but I love the way she looks at life and am sad to see her spirit crushed like this. As for David, I get more and more pissed off with him and his wimpiness. The divide between his Charming self and the David side grows wider and wider and even though I’m sure it’s the curse at work, it still makes me like him less and less.
Over at Emma’s car she finds a box sitting in a puddle under her car. It’s the lockbox that Henry was storing his book in! Was the well’s water magic after all? Maybe, but if it was it had a little human help.
Interesting. It makes me wonder about him even more. It’s clear that he wanted the book to get back to Henry, but it also seems like it’s really important to him that Emma start believing in magic. I wonder why???
Meanwhile, Kathryn has stopped by Regina’s office to apologize for calling her a shitty friend.
Oh no worries, I totally am.
She was just so angry and confused and she snapped. She’s been fighting so hard to hold onto David that she has never stopped to ask herself why. Regina says it’s because he’s her husband; they love each other, they always have. No, they haven’t, Kathryn tells her. She pulls out one of the photos and tells Regina that David has never looked at her the way he’s looking at Mary Margaret in the photo. She has come to the realization that David and Mary Margaret belong together.
Oh god, Kathryn, stop talking now!! Don’t tell her anything; you’ll end up dead or in the insane asylum!!! Of course, Kathryn can’t hear me yelling at her so she keeps right on saying she doesn’t even remember him looking at her like that before the accident.
What exactly are you trying to say?
She asks Regina if she’s ever been in love. Yes. Once. Kathryn thinks she’s lucky because she is coming to understand that she hasn’t. What they have is real and true; what she had with David was never real, she knows that now. The way David looks at Mary Margaret is what she wants for her, and she is going to go out there and find it! She is moving to Boston, alone. What about David? She wrote him a letter, Mary Margaret too telling them that they totally belong together. AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
So, just as we (maybe) start to like her just a teeny tiny bit, Kathryn is gonna be toast.
Back in Fairyland, Charming and Abigail have returned to the clearing. Abigail pours the lake water over Frederick and he transforms back into his human self!
I knew the gym teacher was important!
Seeing Abigail and her Frederick reunited, Charming decides to go after Snow; he’s determined to find her and make her fall in love with him.
Meanwhile Regina is skulking around Storybrooke with her giant keyring. Contrary to some theories, the keys are not for the vault of hearts (I think those lock and unlock magically); they are keys to the homes in Storybrooke. How creepy. So basically Regina has free reign to come and go as she pleases in everyone’s homes.
She’s uses a key to get into David and Kathryn’s house and then steals the letter that Kathryn left there for David.
Emma drops by school to return his book to Henry. She finds him playing his new game, Space Paranoids. LOLOLOLOL! For those of you that don’t know, that game is the one invented by Jeff Bridges’ character in Tron. Love the Disney references!!!
Emma tells Henry she used to play the same game when she was a kid, and he tells her maybe they can play together sometime. Emma’s springs the book on him and Henry is super excited! Where did she find it?!? She says it must have fallen out of a dumptruck and into the gutter because it ended up under her car.
It had nothing at all to do with magical well water. Nothing. Really.
Henry opens the book and we head straight to that scene in Fairyland. Charming has arrived back at the little cottage…oh, wait. This isn’t a revisit, it’s the scene we’ve already seen between him and Red Riding Hood. You remember, right? Red tells him that Snow is indeed in love with him and went to the castle to tell him so herself. Something must have stopped her. SOMEONE is more likely.
He figures out what happened just as King George arrives yelling for his head. He scoops Red up onto his horse and rides away with her, King George and his men in hot pursuit!! I REALLY hope he hid his mom away somewhere, because I’m sure the King will pay her a visit if he can’t catch up to Charming!!
In Storybrooke, Mary Margaret is despondent, lying in bed, obviously heartbroken. Emma asks if she feels like talking about it yet. Nope. Does she want to be alone? Nope. Emma lays next to her mom, just being there for her. Have I mentioned that I LOVE the way their relationship is growing??
We cut over to a drawer being opened. In it is a can of red spray paint. It will come as no shock to any of you that this drawer belongs to…..
The Queen Bitch
She grabs Kathryn’s letter to David from the drawer and a lighter off her desk. As she’s doing this, Kathryn is in her car getting ready to drive out of town, looking hopeful about what lies ahead. Regina burns the letter as Kathryn approaches the town limits.
As the letter burns in Regina’s office, the gym teacher just happens to be driving along the road and comes upon Kathryn’s car. But Kathryn is not inside. Did Regina do something to her? Did she wander off from the accident, hurt? Will Frederick find her?
Of course we don’t get the answers to any of these question, because that’s it for this episode. GAH!!! What did you think, Gasmi? Are you as annoyed with David as I am? Did you start to like Kathryn just a little bit during this episode? Were you screaming at your TV for her to STFU when talking to Regina?
My apologies again for my lateness; like I said before….I’m blaming it on Regina! I can’t wait to hear what you all thought of this episode and what new theories are brewing in those brains of yours! See ya soon!
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