Oscargasm 4: Social Network and Toy Story 3

Our fourth day of Oscar celebrating gets underway with The Social Network and Toy Story 3.

The Social Network

Chickbomb: Seriously, do not piss off nerds.

WaffleBoy: The story of a young girl welder in Pittsburgh who dreams of becoming a ballerina. No, wait that was Flashdance. This is the story of some upper middle class twits at Harvard fighting over several billion dollars in the most passive-aggressive way possible. Shoot, I guess they really don’t make them like they used to, huh?

HoneyGangsta: Some people come up with something clever to put on the internet and end up billionaires.  Others do it out of the good of their hearts for TVGasm week after week and are broke.  Also?  This movie was fascinating.  Extremely well-written and well-acted.  It was the perfectly nerdy way to tell a nerdy story, both of which have completely cool and popular outcomes.

NotWithoutMyTV: This has an outside shot of taking the Oscar away from The King’s Speech, but I hope it doesn’t. The only thing I’m more sick of than Mark Zuckerberg and Facebook is Jane Lynch. Who will no doubt be nominated for something next year. Or hosting the damn thing.

P-Baby Walker: While I really want this to win Best Picture, I fear nothing can beat a stuttering Colin Firth, some war timey stuff, a bunch of British hoity toity costumes, and a happy ending.  I strongly feel part of the problem in The Social Network’s momentum is finally letting Timberlake show up at some of these award shows when all anyone really wants him to do is get his ass on board with an NSYNC reunion.  You know Lance, Joey and Chris are game and we could probably get JC out of his very important America’s Best Dance Crew judging position.  Meanwhile Eisenberg couldn’t care less if he wins or loses, Garfield is spraying spider webs out of his asshole and the only charming member of this cast is Armie Hammer who has the given name of an 86 year old war veteran.  Oh well.  We’ll chalk it up as a loss and David Fincher can go sit in the corner with Ang Lee who’s probably still recovering from Crash beating Brokeback Mountain in 2005. (Check out P-Baby’s Social Network Moviegasm here)

TheMiki: I’m still crushed that we never got a movie about the rise and fall of Myspace.  Think of the drama!  The heartbreak!  The constant freezes caused by someone choosing glittery butterfles flying around to the music of Jessica Simpson as their homepage theme!

Saint Claire of Assisi: I liked it, but I had problems with the accuracy issues. The movie needed another act where Zuckerberg lets everyone’s parents join Facebook and the site becomes lame.

Flipit: A movie about a kid who steals an idea and becomes a billionaire. The American dream! Supposedly a pack of lies made up by Aaron Sorkin, but the nasty press about this flick can’t get me down. I post pics of the line at Ross Dress For Less and get like twenty comments on the ole fb. Is it a sick way to fill my day? Yes, but it’s my new way of life and this little scheming, stealing punk crafted it for me. So…thanks? It’s also the most inspiring story out of the nominated bunch. I plan on renaming the Snuggie the Cuddly and buying an island with my profits. Oh and please like this post when you are done reading.

SexyPanda: I’m ashamed to use a free site that has made that jerk billions.

LadyStardust: Saw it twice in theaters. But then again, I saw Napoleon Dynamite four times in theaters. What can I say? I was in college. Anyways, when I first heard of this movie, I couldn’t imagine a movie about Facebook being any good. Then I heard Justin Timberlake signed on and then I just laughed and assumed it would suck even more. But then I caved and watched it. Then I watched it again because some other people wanted to see it. So yeah, I liked it, but I’m not sure what it would mean for our society if a movie about fucking FACEBOOK of all things won an Oscar.

PottyMouth: My sister attributes the fact that I haven’t seen this movie to my avoidance of all things Facebook.  I attribute it to having a five year old and a sister who won’t fucking babysit.

Bluzgirl tallies it up: 8 points for a great script and good direction.  Minus 6 points because the real Mark Zuckerberg seems like a real jerk and he’s worth more than most countries.  Then plus 6 points for Jesse Eisenberg, not only for this but for “Zombieland”.  Total:  8.

Toy Story 3

PottyMouth: I really loved this movie; that scene at the garbage dump really did me in.  I saw this one in the theaters with my son which was an awesome experience.  Well, except for when he talked to me, that wasn’t so awesome.  Are muzzles for children illegal?

NotWithoutMyTV: Can anyone tell me why in the blue fuck Toy Story 3 is even in this? It scared most of its intended audience, and made the rest cry. Here’s an idea, make the wacky adventures of a cowboy doll and his Space Ranger sidekick dark! No. And I hope that bad idea isn’t vindicated with an Oscar. It will only encourage Lee Unkrich.

P-Baby Walker:  Tim Allen is the star of a Best Picture nominee.  Just saying.

TheMiki: I hate when cartoons make me cry.  When you hand off the Oscar, whack the creators in the head with it for making me look like a pussy in front of my date.

HoneyGangsta: I can’t think of much to say here.  The Ken scenes were very entertaining, and I managed to get concerned over the prospect of imaginary toys being incinerated, so those are points in its favor.  I enjoyed this movie a lot, but I don’t think it’s the Best Picture of the year.

Saint Claire of Assisi: Didn’t see this. It’s about aging, right? Woody’s name becomes hilaaaaarious when he starts taking Cialis, and Buzz gets cancer from all the radiation he was exposed to back in his spaceman days. Right?

WaffleBoy: Yet another touching movie in the series. It also allowed Ricky Gervais to publicly humiliate Tim Allen at this year’s Golden Globes which is why it is my sentimental favorite even though I didn’t see it.

Chickbomb: Where’s my girl Barbie for Best Supporting???

Flipit: This gets another UGH from me, and yes I saw it. I was in Texas visiting my adorable nieces and feeling all warm and gooey inside and STILL hated it. I’m sorry, but let the kid go to college and stop being such a pussy, Tom Hanks! YOU’RE A DOLL! If they made a movie about my dog having to wait to poop outside until I was good and ready, it would probably make all you suckers cry too. But she’s a bitch and she can wait. On a positive note, I’ve showed her the trash compacter scene, so she’s totally behaving herself.

SexyPanda: Toys!  in a story! Three times!  (Right?)

Bluzgirl tallies it up: 6 points because it is still pretty cute, then minus 2 because Ratzenberger was a total diva on set (could happen) and another minus 2 because Hanks makes his wife Rita call him “Woody” at home (also could happen).  Total:  2.