Oscargasm 5: True Grit and Winter’s Bone

Final day of our Oscar tribute. We’re saving tomorrow for our predictions!

True Grit

WaffleBoy: The Coen Brothers remake a classic John Wayne western staring that guy from The Big Lewboski. No, that’s not a madlib, that’s an actual movie.

HoneyGangsta: This movie was just freaking awesome.  The best Western I’ve seen since Young Guns II.  I keep wanting to dislike Matt Damon, but he does such a good job in these self-deprecating roles.  Did you see The Informant?  Hilarious.  And I like a teenage heroine who uses proper grammar.

Saint Claire of Assisi: Can they give awards to a remake? Isn’t that why The Office gets shafted year after year? This won’t win anything big, but it’ll probably grab one of the technical awards because of all the guns and horses and other Western stuff in it. Make it Sound Editing.

NotWithoutMyTV: Remakes, even inspired remakes, should not be up for Academy Awards. You didn’t create it. You riffed on the John Wayne movie. Thanks for an enjoyable 110 minutes, Coen Bros. I look forward to your next project, but let’s not go overboard here.

P-Baby Walker: I wish I could be Jeff Bridges and just be drunk and belligerent and beloved by everyone.  Instead I’m two for three.  One day my time will come.

PottyMouth: You’ve got the Coen brothers, Jeff Bridges, Josh Brolin, Matt Damon and a spunky as hell little girl in search of revenge for her poppa’s death.  What else is there to say but HELL YES!!! ?

Flipit: This is one of those movies that I wouldn’t see forevs cuz it looked so damn boring. But I did see it, and it was a little less boring than I had feared. Jeff Bridges? Was wonderful. But at this point I’m suspecting that that’s just how he is now and it wasn’t really acting. Just a dirty face and some long johns. Most anticlimactic ending of the year, and it was a little sad to see that the little girl grew up to be a one armed, bitter scrunchy faced bitch. What is it with missing limbs this year? I was hoping she would be played by Julia Roberts, but this movie wasn’t about making me content. It was about making me proud that I sat through such a slow movie without falling asleep or whistling at Matt Damon. I’m finally an adult. How come Easy A wasn’t nominated?

LadyStardust: I don’t really like westerns. Unless Clint Eastwood is in them, because that man is bad ass. However, I liked True Grit. The girl was kind of annoying, but probably because I was pretty mouthy and bold at her age too. Ugh. Isn’t it painful to think of yourself at fourteen again?

TheMiki: I don’t watch westerns.  I do love the Coen Brothers though… Still not gonna watch this.

SexyPanda: Gotta love a movie about Cockburn.

Bluzgirl tallies it up: 4 points for Jeff Bridges’ nasty dirty hair (and great acting); 3 points for Hailee Steinfeld; 2 points for about the only movie Matt Damon’s in where he is not likeable at all and then minus 1 for Josh Brolin’s mush mouth.  I’m sure it was in his character, but really quite annoying.  Total:  8.

Winter’s Bone

TheMiki: Hehehe. Hehe.  Hehe.

P-Baby Walker: Just got this out of the redbox because Netflix is a bitch and said it was a “Long Wait.”  Jennifer Lawrence is too pretty and her teeth were too straight in this role of a backwoods Ozarks resident but she was still hard as nails and definitely more self-sufficient than other 17 year olds who can’t walk, sext, and think about Bieber at the same time without their tiny heads exploding.  She won’t win and unfortunately she’s up next in this Mel Gibson movie called The Beaver (WTF Jennifer Lawrence’s agent?)  Oh well.  She’s only 20.  She’ll be fine as long as she stays away from crack and Jake Gyllenhaal.

Saint Claire of Assisi: Widening the Best Picture field to ten was the best idea ever.

NotWithoutMyTV: I resist your allure, Winter’s Bone! Mainly because I could practically taste the anticipatory, Oscar-flavored drool dripping from Debra Granik’s and Anne Rosellini’s lips even while I was watching this movie.Winter’s Bone is Oscar bait, and I don’t like Oscar bait.

Chickbomb: Crackheads in the Ozarks, like Intervention: The Movie.

Flipit: This movie is all about being poooooor. But it’s some Hollywood a hole’s idea of what it must like to be poor. Super poor. Dirt poor. Methy dad who abandoned you poor. The last movie about poor people I liked was Annie, and only cuz the poor brat met a rich dude to take care of her for life. Poorness is for the real world. Toothless abusive hags and shock scenes of little girls cutting off body parts aren’t for me. Unless they’re rich toothless hags and rich little girls cutting off body parts. This nomination is Hollywood’s attempt at telling us they get poorness. Screw you guys.

LadyStardust: LOVED this movie. I randomly saw it on a cross-country flight a few weeks ago. It totally reminded me of where I grew up (backwoods West Virginia), although fortunately my dad is not a drug dealer. But I knew quite a few people that DID have meth labs in their basements!

WaffleBoy: Finally, a movie that comes pre-titled for the porn parody. Now that’s what marketing efficiency is all about people!

TheMiki: Bone. Hehehe. Hehe.  Hehe.

Bluzgirl tallies it up: 8 points for a having a title with “Bone” in it.  Heheheheheh.  Okay—haven’t seen it so no idea.  Total:  ???

Thanks for joining us this week! We’ll be back tomorrow with our pre-show predictions!