Oscargasm 3: King’s Speech and 127 Hours

Today we tackle The King’s Speech and 127 Hours in our week long Oscar countdown.

The King’s Speech

WaffleBoy: The heartwarming story of a plucky Australian man teaching an over bred, stuttering Englishman how to swear. The feel good movie of the year!

P-Baby Walker: This movie was good.  Really good.  It better be good if I’m going to watch Colin Firth stutter for two hours when he should be acting snarky yet adorable like he does in all his other movies.  Meanwhile Crazypants Carter acts all snooty like she doesn’t comb her hair with clothes hangers and wear tablecloths as hammer pants.  Geoffrey Rush isn’t innocent either because I just watched his crazy ass in The House On Haunted Hill and that movie SUCKS.  Whatever the case may be, the three of them together were fantastic and they should be proud of the accolades that come their way.  But I still want The Social Network to win Best Picture.  Sorry, England.

TheMiki: It involves overcoming a handicap, so I’m sure someone will get handed an Oscar for it.

NotWithoutMyTV: This movie was boring. You know it. I know it. But people just lurve to see Colin Firth be Colin Firth. This time, Colin Firth has a speech impediment. Blammo! Academy Award. Thanks, everybody! See you at Sean Penn’s after party!

Chickbomb: British, so basically a lock to win everything.

Saint Claire of Assisi: There has never been such a clear-cut Best Actor winner as Colin Firth…he plays a guy who overcomes a not-too-sad physical disability to go on and defeat the Nazis. He gets two Best Actor statues this year.

Flipit: I had to change seats in this movie three times because of old people unwrapping candy loudly and asking each other “HUUUUH? WHAT DID HE SAY?” “No one knows, he’s STUTTERING.” “Why is he shuddering?” “STUTTERING.” “The king?” “Here’s some hard candy.” UGH. Those movies always get nominated for Oscars. The King dies, neither of his sons wants the throne, but the one with the stutter gets stuck with it. Oh wah people. You know what I don’t want to inherit? The family bowling alley. And I have a lisp. Way harder than inheriting billions of dollars and a giant house, k? WHERE’S MY OSCAR?

HoneyGangsta: Oh this is that movie about Winston Churchill, right?  Wasn’t he the King of England during World War II?  I didn’t know he stuttered!  Seriously, though.  When do English monarchs actually have to speak in public?  When they’re giving press conferences on their engagements?  Notwithstanding all that, this movie is incredible.  Mr. Darcy gives another fine performance.

PottyMouth: I l-l-l-love Colin Ffffffirth. B-b-but appppparently n-nnot enough to see this mmmmmovie.  I re-rented Pride and Prejudice instead.

SexyPanda: Heard it was good.  What?  Did I stutter?

Bluzgirl tallies it up: 8 points for “everybody’s obsessed with the Royals right now even if these events happened a million years ago”.  The other two points for Colin Firth then minus one for “What a Girl Wants” and the other for “Mama Mia”.  Luckily, Geoffrey Rush earns 2 himself so, Total:  10.

127 Hours

NotWithoutMyTV: James Franco is on his way to being the new Heath Ledger. The new, mentally stable Heath Ledger. And he did one hell of a job keeping you interested in a story that essentially takes place in about one and a half feet of Moab, Utah. But really? This is an episode of I Should Be Dead. Not an Academy Award winner.

WaffleBoy: James Franco was in almost every frame of this movie. James Franco’s agent thinks all movies should be like this one.

TheMiki: I kept waiting and waiting for the zombies to show up.  WTF, Danny Boyle?  The third installment of 28days was a huge let-down.

Saint Claire of Assisi: Didn’t see it. But I’m guessing it’ll be remembered solely because it’ll show up on those hilarious “Bad First Date Movie!” lists.

Chickbomb: There can be nothing bad about 127 hours with James Franco.

Flipit: James Franco? Hot. James Franco in shorts for two hours? Hot. James Franco getting stuck in a cave and having to cut his own arm off? EW! Gross! F this movie! And F you James Franco! Or F me. But please show up with both of your arms. Seriously you guys this movie was gee ross. But Franco cried a lot and in the end he decided that losing an arm doesn’t mean he can’t still be a hiker. Moron. I thought people were supposed to learn lessons at the end of Best Pic Noms? If I want to watch people stand around crying for hours at a time I’ll watch a bus stop in East Hollywood, thanks.

SexyPanda: Gripping (with only one hand).

PottyMouth: The title of this movie made me so tired I fell asleep before I could buy the tickets.

HoneyGangsta: This movie gives me a lot of ammo whenever people try to get me to go hiking.  No view is worth cutting off your own arm, am I right?  Especially when James Franco can just be filmed doing the whole hike and I can see the final view from the luxury of a memory foam movie seat while shoving popcorn into my face.

P-Baby Walker: I didn’t see this.  I watched that Dateline NBC with Aron Ralston a couple weekends ago and one of my favorite shows is Freaks and Geeks.  Does that count?

Bluzgirl tallies it up: 6 points for great acting and then minus 6 points since rumor has it half of the Academy members are extremely claustrophobic and couldn’t even watch 127 seconds of it.  (Well, it could happen).  Total:  0.