Person of Interest Recap: FUSCO!

So this was another elaborately if implausibly plotted episode where a lot of suspension of disbelief is required to accept the procedural but what it lacks in a believable A-story it more than makes up for with flashbacks, Fusco and Badger, so I’m not mad. Well maybe a little.

22:05:12 and as we watch an EMT team transfer a transplant patient from a helicopter to a waiting ambulance, Finch tells us in voice over that they have a new number: Michael Cahill, 33, single, no wife, no children, no pets, loner, paranoid, writes manifestos, a bit like Reese. At least that’s what I think he said.

I’m not a rat, I’m from Brooklyn.

The helicopter tech says they’re waiting for INS before they can release him to the EMTs, but Cahill guilts him into letting them take the patient. Finch continues that Cahill appears to be a decent, upstanding citizen so Reese tells us appearances can be deceiving as Cahill tells the patient, who doesn’t look near death, they’re paying him good money. Hmmm.

Finch continues that Cahill’s a criminal, started out petty with B&E’s but has moved on to smuggling, and we see Cahill cut open the gurney mattress to reveal a stash of Swarovski crystals. They’ll move anything, obviously, and the crew is run by a Latino stereotype guy named Vargas. Seriously, Person of Interest, we’re not all criminals, in foster care, bodega owners, nannies or “up by the bootstraps,” round-the-way girls made good. And I’m choosing not to count Trask as a gardener, although, thank YOU for remembering that stereotype. Some of us are accomplished actors like, say, Raul Julia or José Zuñiga, or freakin’ Supreme Court justices, so branch out. Sorry…I’ll step off my soapbox, but it’s been chapping my ass for a while. Viva la raza, pendejos.

Finch asks Reese how he plans to proceed and Reese informs us that it’s business as usual, the more dangerous they are the closer he wants to be. Vargas asks the driver what he’s waiting for and…it’s Reese? How in the what why? I get that he works fast and they only have 42 minutes but that was a little too convenient since they usually only have, at most, 72 hours to solve the case.

Scariest looking EMT ever.

Reese drives off but is quickly pulled over by a patrol car. He earnestly whispers to Cahill to let him handle it but Cahill ostentatiously cocks his gun and says he’ll take care of it. As Reese stews about not being able to play Big Man With a Gun, Vargas exposits that Cahill will handle the situation because he’s never met a guy who hates cops more than Cahill. Random team member is getting squirrelly, worried that the cop’s going to call backup but Vargas says it won’t happen because he’s “paid up with HR.” Random got them an ambulance with a busted taillight and the cop was just letting them know.

22:50:17 and some extras are examining the crystals then hand a baggie to Vargas, telling him it’s their cut. As the extras drive off, Random pulls his gun talking about how he thought he’d “have to waste them” and is all tough now that everything’s over. Cahill beats the crap out of Random so we can establish his “dangerous” bona fides before Vargas stops him. Then Cahill and Reese bond by torching the ambulance.

FYI, people actually notice burning ambulances in NYC.

Surveillance footage takes us ahead to 02:53:11 and Reese pestering Finch in the middle of the night to let him know how it feels. And to let him know that Cahill’s on the move. They assume that whatever he’s up to it can’t be good and I’m sure they’re right because their wild assumptions always are. Fast forward to 03:34:23 and as Cahill casually strolls down some outer-borough residential street, Reese drives up…and if Cahill took the subway, how did Reese follow him? But if he drove, how did Reese follow him on all those residential streets at three in the morning? And why didn’t Cahill park closer? Oh, to make it look like he’s casing the house.

As Cahill breaks in through the side door, Reese “casually” runs up, at 3:34 in the morning on a deserted street, Finch gets a name on the owner, Tully, who’s a cop. Finch tweaks while Reese pulls his gun and Cahill walks into a child’s bedroom. But before Reese can scar the kid for life, he wakes up and yells out “Daddy, Daddy. You’re home.” And his heavily pregnant wife joins them as Finch tells us Reese isn’t the only one working undercover AND we see Cahill’s police academy graduation photo just in case someone was really slow on the uptake.

Man, that would have sucked if Reese shot him first.

Flashback to 2008 and Machine footage retrieves an archived conversation at an undisclosed location. We hear a digitized woman’s voice counting in German and watch Reese gently clean his gun. Aw, a boy and his gun. How so many great stories begin. Stanton turns off the radio and Reese snots that they might be updating their orders. Stanton tells him that this operation isn’t being run through Langley (curious) because they’re not supposed to be operating in “this godforsaken country.”

Reese keeps cleaning so she snots back to ask how many times is he going to clean his gun. It’s all a bunch of metaphoric dick-measuring, though, and is broken up quickly when someone knocks on the door. With his own gun disassembled, Stanton gives Reese hers and he manages to crack a happy before he goes to the door…and ZING! went the strings of my heart…

Hey, baby…

Hello sexy, balding, badger-eyed creep. Missed you. He hands Reese a bottle of “the best he could do. Cheap Polish vodka.” Badger wonders if they have “the package.” Reese confirms they do and are just waiting on orders to deliver it. Then Badger says they have almost everything except a glass so Stanton can go to the bathroom and show a hooded man in the bath tub.

Reese wants to know what “the package” did but Badger is all “Fuck if I care. That’s why I’m the Badger.” Stanton says he looks government and the “natives” don’t like them taking one of their people, so Badger condescends to confirm that he’s government, and he was caught trying to sell something to the Chinese. Reese wants to know what so Badger can exposit “software, something…” and I know the speculation is that it’s Ingram, but I think it’s Weeks. Ingram was too high profile and too rich a civilian to be quietly rendered to a black site, but Weeks was NSA and trying to hack the Machine before it even went live.

Either way, Reese keeps chatting up Badger about their mission and he actually says “I don’t know, don’t care.” If only he’d say “I’m a honey badger,” I might literally fall in love with a fictional character. He continues that if anything happens in transport, Reese executes him, then wonders when was the last time Reese was “in country.” He suggests that Reese get some R&R since the orders won’t come in that night, but to be careful because they’re “behind enemy lines.” Reese steps out into the sunlight so we can get a close-up of Jim Caviezel’s pretty face then see he’s in Queens. Oh, it’s not that bad, you drama queen.

Amber-tinted memories of deep meaning.

Back in the present and Reese is staking out Cahill’s house in plain view in the middle of the day because it’s not like Cahill knows him or anything. Finch is expositing that Cahill’s real name is Daniel Tully. He graduated from the police academy in 2003 but all work records have disappeared. NYPD went to great lengths to cover his identity, going so far as to create a false SSN for Cahill. Finch thinks that if the Machine pulled up the false number, someone may have figured out Cahill’s a cop. Then Reese dreamily says, while watching another outer borough moment of familial warmth, that he signed up to risk his life and if they play it wrong, it could do more harm than good.

Before he can get too dreamy, Cahill gets in his muscle car as Reese spies some big mook join him. It’s Cahill’s handler, Byrne, giving him back his badge, reminding him he’s a day away from his biggest collar and wanting to know why he’d piss it all away to “take a vacation.” Cahill gets teary-eyed and says he “needed to feel normal.” Byrne offers to pull Cahill since they have enough to arrest Vargas, but Cahill wants to stay in long enough to get LOS, who’s supposedly picking up the next shipment in person.

For the last time, I’m your handler.

Byrne thinks Cahill’s chasing a fairy tale, but Cahill hands him a baggie of drugs Cahill says is 100% pure. Byrne’s still unsure because he doesn’t want to have to pay a visit to Cahill’s wife in a dark suit to inform her he’s dead, but Cahill swings his dick enough to shut Byrne up. Cahill drops the anvil bomb that he thinks Vargas has a cop on his payroll because he was too confident there wouldn’t be backup. Byrne says he’ll look into it so Reese can exposit how Vargas bragged about being paid up with “HR,” the same corrupt cops who were “willing to let Elias kill Carter.” Wait, does that mean I’m a corrupt cop, too?

Speaking of my bestie, here she is, at 15:09:36 going into the station, still wearing the camel coat she “commandeered” off some old guy, when a familiar voice sings out “Detective Carter.” It’s Badger, coming to tell Carter he thinks Reese is working with a cop because he found Reese’s prints at some veterinary clinic in “The Catskills” (actually, it was Connecticut) and he’s certain Reese was never there. Assuming the cop who planted them was Carter (wah waah), Badger tells her he hopes Reese’s “new friend” is luckier, because he uses people and then discards them. He repeats the same song and dance about Stanton that he gave her in the diner, with no further evidence, but she’s Carter. She never questions what Badger tells her because that would unravel the whole tenuous plotline if she’d just ask Reese how (if) Stanton died.

You know I’m right. I’m using my concerned, authoritative voice.

Badger walks off so Carter can turn around for her tight close up…and for Finch to slink up behind her. She snaps about how the “man who shot John was just here,” like Finch doesn’t know everything and before her, but he blows it off. He wants her to look into Cahill/Tully and tells her he’s a narcotics agent working undercover with a smuggling ring that Reese infiltrated. For no reason other than to show how tough she is, Carter snots “Of course he has.” And here’s my biggest problem with her. She’s always so rude to everyone. She tells Fusco her first name is “Detective” instead of saying Joss like a civilized person would. She yells at Reese and snots at Finch and always thinks she knows more and what’s right or better than everyone. If she’s going to be part of the team make her less of a shrew. If the men can be messy, complicated and occasionally vulnerable, having their moments of grace in between acting like peacocks and assholes, why does she have to be so one-note, and such a lousy note at that?

Finch powers on, ignoring her, telling her they believe there’s a leak in NYPD. He appeals to her decency and says he doesn’t have to tell her what happens if Cahill’s cover is blown, but she assumes, rudely, that they want her to find the leak. Please, I’m surprised she can find the station every morning. Finch just wants an explanation of how the system works. Per Carter, only Cahill’s handler would know about him being undercover, and the files are all hard copies, so “people like [Finch] can’t hack them.” She’s teasing but Finch just shoots back “Words wound, Detective,” because most of his human contact is with Reese and it takes a lot more to ruffle his feathers.

To Do: Recruit Badger so I don’t have to deal with this one anymore.

Files are kept in safes in one room handled by IAB (We see an IAB officer escort Byrne to the room. This is probably important.) and only the handler has the combination to his UC safe. Anyone tries to break in and “IAB sends him on a one-way trip to Rikers.” Harold “Only The Paranoid Survive” Finch says, out loud,  that “we will need to destroy Cahill’s file before anyone could retrieve it.” Yes, Finch blathers the first thing that comes into his head.  Carter starts to go on one of her wobbles about how breaking into “1PP is a federal offense,” but Finch just walks off telling her he’s got it covered, and she looks crestfallen that he had no intention of working with her. MAKE UP YOUR MIND!

16:04:22 and Fusco gets a call at the station. No pleasantries, just a curt “Let me guess. You need another favor.” Of course he does, he’s Reese. He needs Fusco to visit some of his “dirty buddies” in narcotics to suss out who’s selling out Cahill. Fusco says they don’t trust him anymore since he’s been getting so many collars lately, and “even got a commendation.” Reese points out it was his ass that got the commendation…and is he jealous that no one ever gave him a medal for his ass? I’ll go to the trophy store and have one made up, if he wants. Peacock. Anyway, he symbolically tells Fusco it’s time to get his hands dirty, again.

I get commendations for my ass every day.

02:03:13 at some Chinese restaurant out in Queens. Vargas’ gang are stopping in when Vargas gets a call. Cahill gets tweaky and Reese tells Finch Vargas wasn’t happy as we hear Vargas ask “Which one?” Reese manages to snap a really clear photo of the plates on the Range Rover they drove up in and sends it to Finch while Vargas tells whomever is on the phone that they’ll still make the delivery because LOS will kill them if they don’t.

The kitchen brigade is weaponed up, and I wonder if Tony Bourdain’s written about that. The owner takes umbrage that Vargas never stops in just for dinner then slices open a ten pound bag of “rice” before crushing some grains under his knife blade. That seems…elaborate. Dogs sniff out the drugs, they don’t identify them by sight so it doesn’t matter what form it’s in. So, they’d be SOL regardless.

But whatever, Vargas tests the powder as the owner suggests they renegotiate their deal. Vargas thinks thinking is a dangerous thing in their line of business and the owner says maybe he’ll just take the “rice” to LOS and cut out Vargas. Then both sides turn into Reservoir Dogs. Ooh, I hope Reese is Mr. Pink. I love Steve Buscemi.

Just hand over the rice and no one gets shot.

Vargas “offers” something extra just for the owner then shoots him in the forehead. Reese and Cahill take out the kitchen brigade as one of them pilfers Reese’s signature of shooting Random in the thigh (amateur) while Random and the other Random grab the bags of “rice.” As they walk out of the restaurant, everyone has a white person of interest box except Reese, whose box is…yellow? What happened to red, Machine? Don’t leave me hanging.

They drive off and then into a storage facility, with a sitting area right in the middle. The hell? Ah, I see. So Cahill can help Random over to one of the sofas since he was shot. Once they’re secure inside, Cahill wonders about meeting up with LOS. Vargas says they still are, this is just a pit stop. He just needs the team to take out their phones and destroy them. Reese, for some reason, decides to register panic at this. Seriously, Reese. Don’t start pussying out on us.

That looks inconveniently placed.

Elsewhere, Byrne’s in a mobile command center as a uniformed office is triangulating Cahill’s location. They believe he’s in Brooklyn and they should have the exact location in a second. Scene cuts between Reese destroying his phone and Finch losing contact then Cahill breaking his, losing contact with the mobile command center. Then Vargas wants them all to drop off their weapons. Once everyone’s disarmed he tells Cahill, Reese and the non-wounded randoms that one of them is a cop. He’ll figure out which one and “whoever is still alive” will finish making the delivery. But he says it like Lumbergh telling Peter he needs to work that weekend. EVIL!

Back in 2008 and it’s election night. Reese is in a bar showing Obama’s speech. He walks up to a pleasant enough looking guy and asks if he can have one of the seats at the bar that Mr. Pleasant’s occupying. Mr. Pleasant says “Sure” and gathers his stuff. Reese is smiling and Mr. Pleasant is chatty and for a second it sounds like he’s trying to pick up Reese. Mr. Pleasant asks if he’s local or just visiting. Dude, slow down. Play hard to get. Yeah, not happening. He asks Reese where he’s from and Reese tells him he’s from Puyallup, WA. Mr. Pleasant says his wife’s from Puyallup and wonders if Reese still lives there, so clearly, Mr. Pleasant’s on the down low.

Wife? Sure. Let’s talk about your wife.

Reese begs off, saying he hasn’t lived there in a while because he travels a lot for work. Mr. Pleasant used to travel a lot, too, but he and “the wife” just put a down payment on a house up in New Rochelle, then he conveniently disappears to call her so Stanton can sneak up and ask Reese what he’s doing, since, in a city of eight million, he just “managed” to sidle up to Jessica’s husband. Reese just gives her an inscrutable, albeit hot, look (but that’s just his default setting) and we flash back to the present.

02:46:07 at the storage facility and no one’s cracked, yet, except Random who got shot. Cahill wants to take him to the hospital. Vargas says they’re not going anywhere until he knows who the rat is so Cahill tries to give Random a water bottle and lift his phone in the process. Random won’t take the bottle, but he does start freaking out about going to the hospital. Another random threatens to kill him if he doesn’t stop screaming so Reese suggests they build him a tourniquet. Other random doesn’t see the purpose, but it was to show just how steely Reese can be so Reese sneers that if they stop the bleeding he might just shut up.

03:03:55 and Carter’s snug at home, cherishing these last few years before her son goes off to college. Oh wait. No she isn’t. She’s still at the station. A couple of detectives come in so they can exposit about a drug shoot out at the Chinese restaurant and how it’s a loss because it was the “best kung pao in Queens,” even though they’re Manhattan detectives. I guess Manhattan’s just a provincial little burg and all the good food’s in the outer boroughs. She manages to maintain a modicum of civility, because she’s saving her bitch for Finch. Luckily, he calls right away. She barks at him about where Reese is and Finch is all “For the love of God, woman, shut up,” and tells her he needs some help. It’s three in the morning and she’s reached her bitch limit so she asks what he wants. He just wants her to track a license plate.

Why does she always yell at me?

07:32:45…and Reese is just finishing up the tourniquet? I’m not really up on first aid, but that seems like a long time. Cahill comes up behind Reese to ask if Random will make it and Reese doubts it. Then he skulks off so Cahill can finally lift the phone and text Byrne that Vargas is on to them and where the drop is. He does all this while furtively glancing around for maximum obviosity, but they’ve all been up for like 24 hours, so text goes through without a hitch. Then, pressing his luck, he pockets the phone.

Fusco’s down at the Unisphere in Corona Park, because it’s a lovely setting, and some uniform, Simmons, comes up, telling Fusco he looks like hell. Fusco returns the favor and Simmons asks what Fusco wants. Info on Vargas. Fusco says he wants to muscle in on his scores and offers Simmons a piece. Simmons points out that Fusco’s been silent for the last three months and all of a sudden he’s looking to get back in. Especially after his partners ended up in prison. Then he says that if Fusco wants to shake down Vargas, he needs permission because Vargas is “paid up with HR.” Fusco wonders who he needs to contact at HR, and Simmons obviouses that he already has.

Hey, wanna go watch Sharapova practice?

Fusco gets a convenient phone call to segue out of one scene and into the next, telling Simmons he’ll be in touch. Finch is on the phone, calling about a shift change at One Police Plaza and that it may be their one opportunity and Fusco is all “What the hell are you talking about?”

But we fast forward to 13:13:11 and Fusco’s at 1PP, with Finch in his ear instead of on a cell phone. Finch starts talking sending Fusco into a fit because he’s so loud, saying “No wonder Mr. Sunshine’s always in a foul mood.” It’s that laser focus that has served him so well. Finch points out that they don’t have a lot of time and tells Fusco that he has 8½ minutes to, and I quote, “spoof the key card, break into the safe and retrieve Tully’s file before Vargas’ informant can get to it.” Easy peasy. Finch reminds Fusco to make sure he’s pointing the reader at the key card and when Fusco asks if there’s anything else, Finch drops an anvil snides not to get caught.

Waah…waah…waah…what?

Fusco’s still headed toward the file room when he runs into Carter. They’re both all, “Bluh…whuh why are you here?” and bless them both, they’re lousy liars. How did he never get caught before? They walk off in different directions and once around the corner Carter calls in to Finch to let him know she has three hits on the plate, including an automatic plate reader in Brooklyn and she’s going to look into it. Before she can hang up, Fusco’s back on the line to let Finch know he’s going in. He practically body-checks the poor IAB officer as she’s leaving the file room then apologizes while looking like a flasher. I’m sure she won’t remember bumping into him.

He slips in and sprays the security camera to shield his identity. Like the loyal little fireplug, he tells Finch he’s in and follows orders. Kill the fluorescent light to use a blacklight to find the safe. Fusco finds it and reads the three numbers that have fingerprints:3-5-8. He starts punching random sequences, but there’s only three numbers and none of the sequences are working. Finch asks if any number was smudged and Fusco says the 5’s a little blurry. Finch realizes that it was keyed in twice and Finch calls out several sequences until he lands on “8535” and the safe opens.

Fusco mutters that he can’t believe it worked, and I love that he throws himself head first into very dangerous things but then is surprised when he doesn’t end up dead. Fusco has the file and Finch actually praises him for his good work. He also only has 23 seconds to get out of there. Fusco slides the file in the shredder but before he can slip out…the IAB officer from the top of the episode, Davidson, comes in and says “Detective Fusco, right?” He goes on about how IAB investigated him before and Fusco tries to explain. Davidson just pulls his gun and arrests Fusco. FROWNY FACE!

Fusco starts telling Davidson that he had to destroy the file because the UC’s life was in danger. Davidson wants to know how Fusco knows. Fusco starts blathering about “this guy” but Finch gets in his ear to be very careful what he says because he and Reese can look out for Fusco, but these guys are looking for Reese. Loyalty wins, and Fusco says it doesn’t matter how he knows, he just needs to know a cop’s life was on the line and he was trying to save it. Davidson gets a call from Vargas and tells him he couldn’t get the file because “some idiot” destroyed it, but that the UC made a call earlier. Vargas doesn’t think it’s possible but Davidson says he needs to take care of his situation and he’ll call back later. Fusco realizes Davidson is the informant as Davidson elbows him in the nose and Finch realizes how well and truly they fucked poor Fusco.

Vargas hangs up and slaps the dead guy around looking for his phone. It’s not there so he asks Reese and Cahill which guy has it. Neither talks so he says it will be easier to find after he shoots them and Reese pipes up, “He took it,” pointing at Cahill just to be sure. Hehe. Cahill’s all “BITCH!” then they get into a pushing fight like they’re in fourth grade. Reese quickly pushes Cahill onto one of the sofas so he can lift the phone just in time for Vargas to call and find it in Reese’s pocket. Convenient! And painful, since Vargas figures they found the rat and one of the randoms knocks Reese out by hitting him between the shoulder blades with a crowbar? How does that work?

Sorry, dude.

14:05:54 and the random is pounding the hell out of Reese’s face, making sure not to cause any swelling or bruising, just the really pretty cuts and scrapes that highlight Caviezel’s big, blue eyes. Vargas asks if Reese told the cops about LOS and the delivery but Reese tells him not to waste time, his reinforcements will be here soon. Vargas hits Reese again and says if that were true, he’d have gotten a call from “his guy” and Reese would be dead. Cahill steps in and says they’re not getting anywhere and he’ll take care of it. Vargas tells him they both catch bullets if Reese doesn’t talk and Cahill hits Reese in the gut with the crowbar for effect. Ouch.

Once they’re alone, Cahill wants to know who Reese is, since he’s not a cop. Reese says he isn’t but he has been undercover. Then he gets extra, super duper, creepy telling Cahill he knows that all Cahill wants to do is go home to his wife and son. Like a good cop, Cahill is all “How the hell do you know these things,” so Reese continues creeping the poor guy out by telling him his handler’s name is Byrne that he graduated the academy in 2003 and that he had a younger brother who OD’d a month after Cahill graduated high school and that’s why he’s so committed to catching LOS.

Exactly HOW crazy are you?

Cahill wants to know if Reese is a “Fed or something,” so Reese can quip “Something” and offer to help Cahill escape so he can go home. Cahill heroes out that if Reese knows him so well, he knows he won’t go home as long as LOS is still operating. Reese tells him his cover will be blown and if he stays, he risks everything. Cahill gets scared and sad and like with every “good” person on this show, his big eyes get glassy as he asks Reese to get a message to his wife: Tell her he loves her. With over-identification status finally complete, Reese says they’ll find a way to get him home so he can tell her himself.

Cahill tells Reese that the exchange is at the scrapyard but Vargas is coming so Cahill hits Reese again. He goes to hit Reese with the crowbar one more time as Vargas walks up, asking if Reese said anything. Cahill says he needs more time but Vargas says they don’t have it. He pulls out a gun to shoot Reese and says they need to dump the bodies. Cahill asks to do it himself and shoots Reese, who I am assuming was wearing a vest and was just knocked out from the force because…why isn’t he bleeding?  And wouldn’t Vargas notice the difference between a minor graze and a lethal hit?  This episode only makes sense in the abstract.

This doesn’t look good for Reese.

Whatever happened, it knocked Reese back into the 2008 flashback and while Reese sits at the bar sullen and mute, Stanton asks what Reese’s plan was, to kill Peter? She’s cold and taunting as she gives Reese the specifics on Peter and then asks if he’s a good guy or serial killer? She doesn’t know, but he’ll take better care of Jessica than Reese could. Woman, that’s not how you keep an elite killing machine in line. Even if you’re one, too.

She continues placating him by saying that he may look like everyone else in the bar, but he isn’t. Not after what he’s done. He’s barely even the same species, anymore. Reese cuts her off about how they’re walking in the dark and he’s heard this speech before. Before Reese can sink too far into his own mire, Peter comes back and sees Stanton, saying he didn’t know Reese was meeting someone. (Told you he’s on the DL.) Stanton smiles and calls herself Reese’s “much better half,” and Peter wants to introduce them to his wife.

Peter conveniently disappears, again, and Stanton tells Reese some story about how the first time she was back in the States she headed to see her family, too. But she sat in the rental car for three hours and realized that she could tell them everything she’d seen and done and they’d never believe it, because they’re not just walking in the dark, they are the dark. Jessica comes walking up to Peter and Stanton tells Reese it’s time to go then walks off. Reese watches Jessica kiss Peter and Peter tell her there’s a couple at the bar he wants her to meet…but, of course, Reese has slipped out of the bar undetected because he was always a cat.

Reese is going to kneecap someone for this.

16:05:15 and Cahill’s dumping Reese in the trunk with the dead random, slipping a flashlight into his pocket before slamming the door. Vargas wants to know what’s the hold up, so Cahill hands Reese’s wallet to him, saying he’ll be harder to ID without it. As Vargas tells us the car will burn hot enough that there won’t be anything to ID…the trunk gets tagged with Reese’s yellow ID box. HAHAHA. They break the windows and douse the interior of the car with gasoline then Cahill lights a book of matches to set the car on fire.

The CAR knows about the MACHINE!

Reese wakes up pretty quickly once the trunk starts filling with smoke, but after a little struggle he gets pops the trunk and stumbles out while Carter just casually asks if he needs a lift. Reese says it’s his lucky day but really? I know the writers want it to look like blithe banter but…this episode didn’t really lend itself to that and instead makes him look like a sociopath and her look like a bitch. Wait…

Carter gets a call from Finch and hands the phone to Reese. No chit chat, just “Where’s Cahill?” Now Reese gets all butthurt because Finch didn’t ask him how he was, and I’m exhausted by this whole scene. Reese tells Finch that Cahill went to the drop with LOS, without backup, so Finch wants to know where. South Brooklyn Scrapyard, and Reese is headed there.

He asks if Carter is carrying any other firearms and she opens the trunk to show him a case full of guns and he gets all swoony. Again, really? Even Caviezel and Henson look like they’re saying “The hell?” because he looks awkward and she looks embarrassed for him. Plus, and this makes even less sense, she, who has hissy fits for absolutely no reason, hands over police-issue firearms to a known, wanted criminal? How is she going to explain his fingerprints on the trunk door as well as the guns she had with her? And with Badger in town, no less. I’ll gladly play her Mickey Rourke’s speech from Body Heat about how there are 100 ways to fuck up a crime and even a genius will only think of about 50. Because one stray print and she’s in deep.

Guns make me happy.

No time to dilly-dally over that out-of-character idiocy, Finch tells Reese that Vargas’ informant has Fusco, and his life is most definitely in danger. They may not have enough time to save both. Thankfully, Reese manages to remember who he is and gets a little concerned about this dilemma.

But we switch over to the exchange with LOS. A silver SUV pulls up and a bureaucratic-looking douchebag gets out. Cahill can’t believe he’s LOS but Vargas turns into a beaten puppy when LOS points out how much of a mess Vargas made. He drops off the bag of cash and takes the rice bags of coke, telling Vargas not to keep him waiting. Cahill’s twitching and looking around, hoping for backup, but when it doesn’t come, he goes after LOS himself. He has his gun to LOS’s head but his back to Vargas who pulls his own gun on Cahill and tells him to let LOS go.

Now backup arrives and…I can’t. I just…can’t. This scene is just asking me to suspend my disbelief one step too far. Jim Caviezel’s pretty blue eyes can only do so much of the heavy-lifting, and even I have reached my limit with Reese. Carter and Reese and his police firearm, come marching up, guns blazing but not killing any of the smugglers or LOS’s men, so they can get about five perfect police sketches of Reese. Was he always such a moron? Or is this what “lowest common denominator” means?

Hey, you! I know you! I know you!

LOS knocks Cahill down and goes for the gun, but Reese stops him. They share a very awkward moment of what looks like recognition before Cahill grabs the gun and tells LOS to get on the ground. LOS says he’ll be out in 14 hours and then he’s coming after Cahill. Before Cahill can say anything, Reese sucker punches LOS and Cahill says that he’ll just add threatening a police officer to his list of charges.

Reese tells Cahill that none of the charges will stick because LOS is CIA. Cahill can’t believe that the CIA traffics in drugs, so Reese tells him that if they couldn’t win the war on drugs they’d use it to fund the war on terror. Cahill’s all “FML is this common knowledge?” Reese says it’s doubtful, the Company’s built on secrets.

For real  for real?

Cahill becomes remorseful, realizing he risked his life for this bust. Rather than walk away, he still wants to take LOS in. Reese warns him one last time that if he does the Company will ruin his career, if he’s lucky, but Cahill has to do it, and Reese tells him he always likes to push his own luck. No duh, asshole.

Time code gets all screwy, so it’s some time later that night and Davidson is walking Fusco into the woods, telling him that he’s so good at his job because he can spot a dirty cop when he sees one. Fusco’s Fusco to the end and quips he should try looking in the mirror. Davidson tells Fusco that he may think he’s coming clean, found God or Buddha or some African shaman, but at the end of the day, his hands are still dirty.

They’re deep in the woods and Fusco’s making peace with his situation as Davidson tells him that there won’t be any sirens or bullhorns. No one’s coming to save him, no one cares. (I CARE!!!!) He continues that “that guy who tells [Fusco] things,” used him then let him rot like a piece of garbage. (NOOOO!!) He continues that Fusco may as well tell Davidson who it is, so he can have the “satisfaction of repaying the favor.”

Fusco just toughs it out that he’s not the first person to put a gun to his head. Davidson says he’ll be the last…and Kevin Chapman is breaking my heart right now. His face is more resigned than sad, like he’s thinking about all the things he could have done differently that wouldn’t have led him here. He asks Davidson if he’s ever been shot and tells him the craziest things run through your mind, like being glad you wore clean underwear and remembered to hide your porn stash. Sorry your son had to find out his father was a dirty cop. But you hope you go down doing something good.

NOOOOOOOOOOO!

If I Had a Heart by Fever Ray starts up as Fusco tells Davidson that he wouldn’t know about that, so Davidson shoves Fusco to his knees to shoot him. He cocks the gun but before he can shoot, Davidson is shot and falls, showing Reese behind him. Reese and Fusco share affection by snotting at each other, then Fusco takes Davidson’s phone to call it in. He says he has to make it look like a good shooting but Reese takes the phone and asks if it’s the only connection between Davidson and Vargas. Fusco says “Yeah,” thinking it’s just small talk, until Reese crushes it under his heel.

Fusco’s angry, but Reese says he “needs” Fusco inside HR. Fusco says there are cameras in 1PP and he was seen with Davidson, so he’s looking at Murder One. Reese tells him that’s the point, he’ll need their help to cover it up so he can get back in with them. Fusco comes clean about how he was feeling good about himself and Reese just bloodlessly says Fusco’s done some good work but he’s more “useful” on the inside. He offers a hollow apology, and I really hate Reese right now. Fusco melancholies that his “hands are dirty and always will be.” Reese just stares at him, maybe in solidarity or maybe in regret, but he really sucks right now. Kneecap him, Fusco!

Of course he doesn’t and it’s 07:50:11. Reese and Finch are sitting outside Cahill’s house like a couple of creepers. Danny, the little boy, is on his way to school and Cahill’s taking his wife to the hospital to have their baby boy. As Cahill tells his wife that he loves her, Finch tells Reese that Badger took care of LOS and he should be released within the hour then wonders what Reese plans to do. Reese says he’ll keep an eye out for Cahill to keep him safe, but I just can’t with him right now. He’s so awful and creepy.

Creepy creepers gotta creep.

Down at the only precinct in Manhattan, Badger’s escorting LOS out. LOS is surprised they’d send Badger to handle it, but Badger blithes that the Agency takes care of its own. LOS says this deal going south set them back $20-$30 million and the first job is to take care of Carter and Cahill, because he gave them fair warning. No mention of Batman Reese? Really? He’s the one who did EVERYTHING but no one saw him?

Obviously, that’s neither here nor there because Badger tells LOS that he was always reckless and they can’t go around killing cops. Badger opens the car door and tells LOS that he shouldn’t have gotten himself arrested because they’re “behind enemy lines.” (Same words he said to Reese at the top of the episode.) As LOS gets in the back of the car, another agent throws a hood over his head as Badger closes the door and walks off. Oh, Badger…never change, you scary little freak, you.

Because I’m Badger, THAT’S why!

Fusco’s walking out of the woods with a shovel and Simmons is leaning on his patrol car “joking” that he got Fusco’s call and it looks like he got himself in a little trouble. Fusco says it was an accident. Simmons says most accidents don’t require a shovel. Fusco asks for help “making this go away,” and says he’ll be indebted, but Simmons says he’ll be more than indebted, he belongs to HR, now.

So, great Fusco episode and always wonderful to have Badger around spreading his evil. But they’re making Reese way too stupid and careless whenever he works with Carter. That whole shoot out scene was ridiculous because Reese was right in the middle of it using a police-issue firearm, but LOS never mentions the guy who knew he was CIA? Really? Not even to Badger? He’s all slinky and cat-like with Fusco, making sure they never look like they’re together when they’re in public but he’s all Yosemite Sam when he’s working with Carter? I guess making him an idiot is one way to make her look smarter, but is it really the best way?

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