All right, I know this entry was a long time coming, so I’ll dispense with the pleasantries and get right to the recap. But I have to get this in here somewhere: Lost. There! Now you know which show you’re reading about.
The opening goes straight into a flashback, where Jack and his dad are whispering about a difficult case while the patient and his daughter wait anxiously. The patient and his smokinÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ hot daughter, I should say. TheyÃ¢â‚¬â„¢re Italian; apparently they flew out just to be treated by JackÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s dad. Unfortunately, he decides against the operation Ã¢â‚¬” but wait! Gli italiani didnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t come all this way to see Christian, they came for Jack! Ooooh, burn! I guess the operation where Jack fixed his wife has become quite famous; the girl read about it in medical journals. Jack agrees to take the case, and his dad looks pissed, naturally, but I think also a little proud of his kid. The Italian girl looks like sheÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s ready to play hide the salsiccia with Jack.
Jack wakes with a start in the bunk bed. He hears Locke moaning and runs over to the gun cabinet, where Locke is knocked out on the floor. Michael comes running out with a gun pointed at Jack, all sweaty and crazy-eyed and shouting about a fatherÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s right to save his kid. Jack is not at all trying to disagree with Michael, but Michael locks him in the cabinet anyway. Hmm, I donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t think MichaelÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s character arc is very well written here. Why the extreme freaking out?
Jack tries to escape through the air vents, but as Locke come to he casually explains that heÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s already bolted them shut. Ã¢â‚¬Å“ThatÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s really good thinking, John,Ã¢â‚¬? says Jack. Yay for snarky Jack! There should be more of this! Ask and ye shall receive, I guess, because as Locke starts to worry about the timer, Jack comments that they better Ã¢â‚¬Å“hope Sawyer comes to get his Band-Aid changed.Ã¢â‚¬? Ha! Nice one, Jack.
Out on the beach, Kate wakes Sawyer by throwing a banana at him. Hm. I donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t exactly know what the significance of that is, but I betcha itÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s sexual! They head down to the hatch to attend to SawyerÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s wounds, but Kate calls his treatment Ã¢â‚¬Å“bandages.Ã¢â‚¬? Once there, they hear Locke and Jack shouting for help from behind the locked door. So, Kate goes and resets the timer and Sawyer opens the door to the gun room. Well. That wasnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t very exciting.
Jack is out in a flash, with big plans for catching up to Michael. Locke and Sawyer follow, though Sawyer seems really annoyed about it all. Over in flashback land, Jack and the Italian girl have a really boring scene. ItÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s essentially a Ã¢â‚¬Å“burgeoning sexual tensionÃ¢â‚¬? vignette, but itÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s not very interesting. When Jack gets home, his wife tells him that her period was late, but sheÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s not pregnant. I think she may be trying to punish him. She really takes her time getting to the punch line.
Locke is tracking Michael by looking at boot prints, which for me requires a huge suspension of disbelief. I can buy the sentient smoke column, but they canÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t make me believe that Locke has studied the soles of everyoneÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s shoes.
Kate tries to tag along but Jack goes all machismo power-trippy and FORBIDS her. Ooh, what a manly man! On the trail, Jack and Sawyer are bickering over the lady. It seems as though Sawyer doesnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t remember that he said he loved Kate. Locke interrupts them to get to the relevant business, which is that Michael isnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t retracing his steps from the island hike he took with the tail group. HeÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s off in some other direction.
There is massive cuteness going on at the beach, where Sun is making Jin put on a floppy, wide-brimmed hat. IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢m glad they like each other now. Also, Hurley digs the hat, which means itÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s awesome. He tells the couple about the Michael situation, and Jin starts packing up to follow the manly men. Sun ainÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t having it, though, and she screams at him that Michael may be his friend, but sheÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s his wife. Sing it, sister! Jin looks shocked, but agrees to stay.
Out on the day hike, Sawyer is lagging, presumably because of his injuries. They take a break and Locke gets all philosophical. He asks Jack what the plan is for when they get Michael. Why is he asking this now, after heÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s spent all day climbing a mountain? This discussion would have made much more sense in the hatch. Ã¢â‚¬Å“Who are we to tell anyone what they can or canÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t do?Ã¢â‚¬? asks Locke. That line was constructed solely to trigger a flashback.
Jack has the Italian lady signing off on the surgery. In a quiet, dimly lit room. Naturally. JackÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s dad comes in and gives him smug shit about not sleeping with relatives of patients. It was okay for Christian, but he seems to think his son couldnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t handle it. You know, the flashbacks are falling a little flat for me in this episode.
On the hike, Locke lets out that he knows SawyerÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s real name. Nice callback! But before Sawyer can get too defensive, we hear gunshots ring out. Jack starts screaming for Michael, which seems a little impulsive. The parade of burly men goes tearing through the jungle, and when they finally stop they find shells and bullet marks in trees. Also, Jack gets all uppity about SawyerÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s reasons for coming out to find Michael Ã¢â‚¬” he thinks Sawyer just wants revenge for getting shot. So? ThatÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s probably as good a reason as any.
Sure enough, the next flashback shows that JackÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s instinct for rescuing people is driving his desire to find Michael. The Italian guy died while Jack was operating on him, sending Jack into deep guilt mode, which led to him making out with the bella donna. ItÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s a chain reaction, people. Jack is instantly guilty, and leaves her crying as he goes home to his empty, empty marriage.
Back on the island, itÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s night and Locke has lost MichaelÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s trail. He proposes going back and trying again tomorrow, but JackÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s savior complex wonÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t allow that to happen. Jack even accuses Locke of noting caring about Michael, which Locke correctly dismisses as ridiculous. He didnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t run towards gunfire because he didnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t care.
All of a sudden there is a scary loud man voice! ItÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s gruff and deep and sounds like Santa gone wrong! IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢m sure most fans, even those like me who like to stay as spoiler-free as possible, knew at this point that it was the man who stole Walt from the raft last season. Also, I always think this guy is Stacy Keach. Our heroes have their guns drawn, and when Sawyer advances toward not-Stacy Keach, heÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s shot from somewhere in the jungle. Looks like theyÃ¢â‚¬â„¢re going to have a little sit-down.
And now itÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s time for our Moment of Levity! WeÃ¢â‚¬â„¢re back down in the hatch with Charlie and Hurley, who are looking through the record collection. Aw, Hurley has a crush on Libby. He thinks sheÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s cute in an Ã¢â‚¬Å“IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ve been terrorized by the Others for 48 days kind of way.Ã¢â‚¬? He figures this situation is his best chance at getting someone like her. Oh, if only Hurley knew that the most attractive thing about a man is confidence! Maybe he should get some tips from Sawyer.
Sayid wanders in and deadpans that the music is depressing. The boys let him know that Michael has run off and Ã¢â‚¬Å“everyoneÃ¢â‚¬? has gone after him. Which is dumb because clearly not everyone has gone after Michael. But, it sets the scene for some potential Ã¢â‚¬Å“Sayid feels alienatedÃ¢â‚¬? drama and lets us know that Kate has gone after Michael, too. But where is she? Dun dun dunnnnn!
The bad man is getting philosophical up in the jungle, but his point boils down to his belief that the island belongs to his group and theyÃ¢â‚¬â„¢re just letting the castaways stay there. Jack tries to call his bluff, and tells the guy that thereÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s probably just one other guy with the bad man. At this, the guy yells out Ã¢â‚¬Å“light Ã¢â‚¬Ëœem up!Ã¢â‚¬? And a ring of torches lights up around them. Now, I could only make out one actual human holding a torch in this sequence, but thatÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s not to say that I think JackÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s right. I bet you guys have found tons of screenshots from this scene already.
Jack refuses to hand over the guns, so the man plays his trump card: heÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s got Kate tied up! OK, so thatÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s dramatic, but what caught my attention more was the fact that someone named Alex brought her out. You know, RousseauÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s kid? And of course we only see AlexÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s arm. Kate schmate, I wanna see Alex!
Jack looks like heÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s about kill Kate himself. Sawyer is much more interested in saving her. But itÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s up to Jack, and while dramatic music is throbbing all over the place, was anyone really in suspense? Of course Jack hands over his weapons. They should have let Kate die and then this show would be groundbreaking like HBO.
A gorgeous sunrise down on the beach provides the backdrop for a heart-to-heart with Jin and Sun. He tells her he doesnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t like being told what to do, and she counters that she got told what to do all the time their entire marriage. He finally sees things from her perspective, and they get all cute and smiley. These two should get a spinoff.
Kate sends Jack into a flashback with all of her wheedling and justifying and apologizing. I guess this all reminds him of the end of his marriage, when he inexplicably told his wife about the kiss with the Italian girl. It was just a kiss and he didnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t initiate it, so I donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t know why he had to tell his wife. But I am a woman of low virtue, so maybe IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢m not the best judge.
Anyhoodle, it turns out the JackÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s wife and been dating someone anyway and was ready to leave him. Sigh. We already knew that Jack and his wife had broken up, so nothing here is a big surprise. She makes the point that viewers of the show had known all along: JackÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s not happy unless heÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s fixing something. So I guess itÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s no surprise that he heads on over to Ana Lucia. (By the way, they drink water out of an orange Nalgene bottle, and colored bottles werenÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t introduced until about five years ago. Production error, or evidence that supplies are still arriving to the island?)
Jack asks Ana Lucia about her background as a cop, then feels out an idea: Ã¢â‚¬Å“How long do you think it would take to train an army?Ã¢â‚¬? More dramatic music! He must be serious. And there you have it, folks. Solid episode, nothing special. What did you think? Was the scene with the Others everything youÃ¢â‚¬â„¢d hoped for?