Pretty Little Liars Recap: “A” is for “Another A-Hole”

Recaps

By Hypnotoad | Friday, June 15, 2012 | 12:00 pm | 16 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Pretty Little Liars, Recaps

Welcome back, cupcakes.  Apologies about the lateness, but here’s a double whammy:  2 recaps for the low, low price of 1!  All recaps must go!

So now it’s five months later from when we left off.  Which, given how much attention is given to time in this show, means that Melissa’s probably still only 3 months pregnant.  A hip Rhianna song (I’m guessing) is playing and all the gals are together for a gab session.  Hanna got a haircut.  I guess Spencer took some college classes and Aria was in some photography class — Spencer says she beat out “a thousand applicants for space in that photography class.”

“She took candid photos of Ezra that would blow your mind.”  “I called the exhibit ‘Douche:  150 Days of Hipster Sweater Vests.’”

And I guess Emily spent time in a foreign country building houses for poor people.  Hanna didn’t really accomplish anything.  Also, the girls are drinking alcohol.  ABC Family!  They all get a text that reads, “Show me your boobs — A.”  They’re all annoyed, so I’m guessing the whole school knows about the “A” thing and is texting them stupid crap.  Aria mentions that Mona hasn’t said a word since she’s been in the insane asylum.  Emily’s drinking a lot because she has a lot of pain since stupid Maya went and died.  The girls toast to “making it to senior year.”  Um, what?  I thought they were sophomores last season.  Ugh, I don’t care anymore.  This show is a black hole of continuity.  Emily turns that innocent toast into some pathetic remark about Maya being dead.  Get over it, Emily, it’s been 5 months.  There are plenty of other druggie bitch passive aggressive bisexual fish in the sea.

Later that night, the girls are all asleep when Aria wakes up to find the back door open.  Spencer comes downstairs and says that Emily’s gone.  They call her on her cell phone, but Em doesn’t answer.  She’s too busy digging up Alison’s grave to find out that the casket is empty!  Um, Emily’s weird now.

Got a secret?  Can you keep it?  Blah blah one of them is dead.

The other girls reach Em and Aria is all, How can she not remember anything?  Spencer says that Emily is still out of it and totally drunk.  Well, she’d have to be.  Aria’s all, Do you think she had anything to do with this?  Color me confused.  Spencer grabs Em’s phone and is all, You had a blocked number a while ago, but Emily doesn’t remember.  Also, Em’s phone states that she got a call from Spencer at midnight, but that’s impossible because Spencer was asleep.  So someone was in Spencer’s house and used her phone.  Jeezus.  So much for easing into the third season, eh?  Okay, sooooooo Emily didn’t dig up the grave?  It was just like that when she got there?  Let’s go with that, because frankly, I don’t know what the hell else to think.  They hear something (maybe) and all run away.

Hanna wipes the prints off the shovel while Aria wonders who would play this game with Emily.  Spencer and Emily discuss who could have set them up.  They rule out Jenna and Melissa as Spencer burns Emilly’s clothes in the fireplace.  Um, why?  Do the Rosewood police have some sort of Cemetery Dirt Detection Kit?  Lame.  Later on, Hanna drives Aria down a street and tells her to get down because someone’s coming.  It’s Lucas!  Yay!  He gets into a car and drives away and the girls follow him . . . Or not, because they end up right back at Spencer’s house.  Spencer’s writing a note for her mom  (who, because she’s a parent on this show, is away on business because she feels it’s totally fine to leave her daughter — who has been harassed by a psycho for almost a year — by herself) letting her know that they’re at the lake house.  And that’s where they’re headed.

“Hmmmm, did I remember to pack my Extra Cheesy Pizza Lunchable? . . . Yes.  Yes, I did.”

The phone at the lake house rings.  Who can it be now?  Who can it, who can it?!  It’s Spencer’s mom with bad news.

“Lindsay Lohan is playing Elizabeth Taylor.”

Noooooo!  It turns out that it’s all over the news that Alison’s body was dug up and crap but the police don’t have any leads.  Wow, the Rosewood P.D. doesn’t have a clue?  Color me shocked.  Em says it’s all her fault but Hanna says that no one’s blaming her.  Uh, I am.  Aria says they can tell the cops the truth, but Hanna says that no one even knows what the truth is.  Spencer gives them all an alibi and they agree to it.

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Hypnotoad
About

Hypnotoad is a 2009 graduate of the MFA Writing program at the School of the Art Institute of Chicago. He was a staple of the Chicago Quickies reading series, has been published in various Art Institute publications, and served as an actor/playwright for the Curious Theatre Branch's Rhinoceros Festival. His works have been online at Fiction At Work and is included in their short story collection. A victim of the crappy economy, he is now living back in Kansas. With his parents. His days now consist of perusing Yahoo Hot Jobs, and sporadically posting horrible ideas on his blog. Good times.

16 Comments

  1. 1
    thisbuggs4u
    Posted June 15, 2012 at 2:48 pm

    Hypno, I am so glad that you are back…I was going through withdrawls!! But now, thanks to the recap, I want a cupcake, thanks alot, f***er! :) JK I <3 you Hypno.

    Ok, lets see here…my thoughts…bullet points here..don't want to take up a bazillion "pages"
    -Ezra, gross. Yep Gross!
    -Didn't think Ella had it in her to help Emily get a passing grade!
    -Another One Tree Hill cast off in skankapotomus! she was Crazy Sara on OTH and she is going to be crazy now…
    -Wren is totes the person that Spencer can't trust…some how he is on the "A" team, I just am not sure how yet, along with Lucas, Jenna, and Nole/Noel, Melissa and Garrett…
    -Veronica, WTF I didn't know that was her name. I always just called her "Spencer's mom"!
    -Still think Toby has a smoking hot body, but his face seems to skinny for him, or maybe its the hair…IDK
    -Caleb, get a effin hair cut you effing douche! He was in a Macy's commercial for some online thing, and he was looking pretty good there….
    -Kind of figured Jenna was the driver right off the bat, hell Bitch can see, and I called that shit along time ago!
    -Bryon better not have been seeing Alison on the side!! I'd take a guess at Melissa…

    Now I really want a cupcake, I am trying to refrain from going and buying some…MR Z comes home next month, and I am trying to cut back on sweets and stuff….My fall down our stairs 2 months ago has not helped at all….

    Hypno, I am so glad you are back!!

  2. 2
    keebler elf
    Posted June 15, 2012 at 4:36 pm

    im glad your back, i couldn’t watch this show without the recaps!

    i wouldnt be surprised if alison and aria’s dad were hooking up, seems like that b**** was crazy! idk how they were friends with her

  3. 3
    Lurker
    Posted June 15, 2012 at 5:23 pm

    I haven’t read the recap yet, but I wanted to say YAY FOR HYPNO! I am thrilled that you are recapping!!! This totally made my day.

  4. 4
    no cars go
    Posted June 15, 2012 at 7:20 pm

    i also haven’t read yet but had to say i got so excited when i saw this up and saw who wrote it!!

  5. 5
    ChaCha
    Posted June 15, 2012 at 9:44 pm

    I have only read barely into the second episode, but I had to stop and comment that I love Hypno’s snark about Hannah’s earrings! I was so distracted by those things that I’m sure I missed something else going on. So I’ll keep reading……

  6. 6
    Hypnotoad Hypnotoad
    Posted June 15, 2012 at 10:24 pm

    I don’t know you guys. This season . . . Lackluster comes to mind. They better do some shiz with Mona prontito.

  7. 7
    Lizbot
    Posted June 16, 2012 at 8:29 am

    I’m really glad you’re back recapping this show Hypnotoad – glad for us, not for you. I gave up watching the show a few episodes before the finale. The only thing that could possibly lure me back would be the death of Ezra. Or his arrest. I could settle for either one. I completely hate that my 12 and 14 year old nieces are convinced that a relationship between an immature, bland-natured teacher and a 16 year old girl is cute and romantic. And the whole story-line of Ella giving in and attributing Aria’s insistence on the relationship as being part of her “independent spirit” rather than the result of her being a 16 year old with underdeveloped insight makes it even worse. But it’s like the writers know that the relationship bugs rational adults and insist on dragging it out like they’re sticking their tongues out at the naysayers (and attracting teens to the forbidden fruit of it). Either that or one or more of the writers is a pedophile and wants to promote the philosophy of NAMBLA (or what ever the man-girl equivalent organization is).

    So anyway, thanks for taking the bullet, because I love reading your recaps even though I can’t stand watching the show.

    I may have missed something since I missed the final episodes of last season, but what happened to Aria’s fake appropriate-aged boyfriend? The one who was obsessed with martial arts and was hiding it from his parents? Did he die? Move away? Or is that another dropped storyline.

  8. 8
    thisbuggs4u
    Posted June 16, 2012 at 1:27 pm

    Lizbot, I am going to go with Holden is another dropped storyline, or He is going to be the someone that knows something about Aria’s past…Now that you have brought up the fact that they are 16, umm I am going to assume, that they are now 18ish cause they are in their Senior year…I was 18 when I graduated in ’98….yeah, I also graduated from HS that was not 5 miles from Where they were keeping MaryKaye ….

    I usually have WTF moments when it comes to Aria, and what she wears, but whomever dresses Ashley for this show must be stuck in the 80′s!! Spencer has some questionable outfits sometimes. Emily, not so much.

    I do like the new do on Hanna/Ashley. Looks like Lucy Hale got a haircut over the break…

    I still have a feeling that Wren and Mona are working together… :) I get this from what Garrett said to spencer. Medical records don’t lie…

  9. 9
    Liz
    Posted June 16, 2012 at 3:22 pm

    Ok, 1) Hypno – Love you! So happy you’re back.
    2) I thought the same thing about Hanna and Wren – ew.
    3) The tennis guy, I thought he got mad at Spencer because he thought she submitted him to tennis camp (which A actually did) and broke up with her. And at that point she was also kind of scamming on Wren or Tobot or someone so she forgot him pretty fast. So I think that one actually did kind of tie up.
    4) I wanted to smack Ezra (more than I normally do) when he asked if they could forgot about Allison on the anniversary of her death so Aria could focus on him. What a self-centered asshat. I spit in your general direction, sir.
    5) I think Caleb went and stayed with mommy to visit but then came back cause his love was oh-so-strong for Hanna or whatever. But – is he still living with Lucas? If so, that makes this weirdness they’re having about Lucas even weirder – can’t they just ask Caleb to talk to him or something.
    6) I think Ashley’s embezzling is in the clear as long as A never rats her out. They made that one faker go away and I thought that was the end of it? Or am I forgetting stuff? The ring though – seriously what happened with that?
    7) It makes NO SENSE that they wouldn’t just call the police when the grave-robbing happened. Have they learned nothing??

  10. 10
    CrazyTrain CrazyTrain
    Posted June 16, 2012 at 3:23 pm

    I thought maybe ali planted the earrings but IDK why.
    This show.

    Love the recaps. Esp. because I tune out whenever Ezra is on the screen.

  11. 11
    NikkiHughes
    Posted June 18, 2012 at 1:25 pm

    It’s highly possible that I’m a dumbass, but I thought it was obvious that Alison planted those earrings……

  12. 12
    Lurker
    Posted June 18, 2012 at 3:18 pm

    I too was thinking that Allison planted the earrings.

  13. 13
    Hypnotoad Hypnotoad
    Posted June 18, 2012 at 7:19 pm

    Wow, you guys are jaded. Alison didn’t have a mean bone in her body and was nothing but nice to her friends.

    Also: SAAAAAAARRRRRRRCASSSSSSM!

    Yeah, she planted them. I don’t care if she’s dead — girl was a straight up beyotch.

    I’m wondering how long we’ll have to wait for the “Melissa had a miscarriage” reveal that isn’t really a reveal.

  14. 14
    Lurker
    Posted June 18, 2012 at 8:10 pm

    Hahaha Hypno! You crack me up! Until I read your recap I did not catch the whole “Melissa is having a rough time … probably had a miscarriage” incident. I find myself zoning out throught this show because it tends to get confusing. That is why I need your recaps … to help clear things up!!!

  15. 15
    plockeness monster plockeness monster
    Posted June 19, 2012 at 6:31 pm

    Yay hypno!!!!!! So glad your back to recap this cluster fuck!!!

  16. 16
    Rebecca
    Posted June 20, 2012 at 4:16 pm

    I just had a thought and had to post right away- watching the new eppy and in the “previously” whats his face thats in jail says – “I didnt kill Ally – people who dug up her grave know it – people lie medical records dont” and then they showed the teeth necklace- do u all think Ally is NOT dead and the teeth could have proved it?

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