Pretty Little Liars Recap: “A” is for “Another A-Hole”

Recaps

By Hypnotoad | Friday, June 15, 2012 | 12:00 pm | 16 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Pretty Little Liars, Recaps

Aria awakens from a nightmare at Ezra’s apartment. 

“I dreamt I was dating an immature, pretentious hipster and OHMIGOD AAAAAAA!”

Welcome to your hell, Aria.  Actually, welcome to MY hell, because I still hate the whole “Azria” thing.  The paper, Ezra points out, states that Maya found some stuff of Alison’s that may have connected Garrett to Alison’s murder, but Garrett found her first and then killed her, I guess.  Ezra then points out that it’s the anniversary of their first statutory event in the bar and now he wants to recreate their first “date.”  Then they make out and my eyes roll so far back in my head that I have to go to the emergency room to get them fixed.

I’m back.  They had to helicopter me to a specialist in Minneapolis, but I got through it okay.  I’m taking donations for my recovery — just write a check to the Busch foundation in my name and they’ll send me a case of Busch Light with your name on it.  And Hanna’s trying on some chunky necklace at some boutique.  Her mom is there as well and is whining about how she’s not having sex.  And then Spencer and her mom show up.  Who’s ready for some PLL Mommy Talk Time?  You are, because you have to be.  Unless you fast-forward.  Ashley and Veronica gab about the digging and Ashley asks if Garrett actually did it.  Veronica probably breaks some sort of ethical code by letting Ashley know that the “prosecution had petitioned to have the body exhumed” but by the time they got there, it was gone so the judge couldn’t make his ruling.  

Spencer gets an incoming call from “unknown” — she says that it’s Toby and she’ll get back to him later.  I guess The Tobot is living in the Hastings’s loft, which is good, because it’s full of the copper wire The Tobot needs to consume to sustain his internal clock.  Spencer whispers about how creepy it was that someone was in her house while she was sleeping.  Hanna needs to go because she has to go to Dr. Sullivan for a little appointment, but Spencer needn’t worry — Hanna won’t blab about the whole Alison’s-body-digging-up thing.

Except Hanna lied:  She’s actually going to the National Capital Area Cake Show in Annandale, VA.  Well, not really.  She’s at the institution to visit Mona who, as you know, lamely turned out to be ‘A’ in season 2′s lame finale.  

Emily’s at home, thinking of all the lesbian times she spent with bisexual Maya.  She ties Maya’s scarf (I’m assuming) around a picture of the two of them in which Emily looks happy and Maya looks like a bisexual passive-aggressive bipolar bitch-whore.

“Um, do you have a cardboard box I can borrow?  It feels weird just, you know, standing here.  Not . . . Not holding anything.”

Pam tells Em that there was a reporter at the door who wants to talk to Em about Alison’s body and junk.  Her mom says that Maya would have been proud of Emily for making a difference this summer.  Really, Pam?  Because I think that Maya would have been jealous of Emily for spending so much time with the poor people instead of with her and would have proceeded to get drunk/high and yell at Emily and make her feel extremely guilty for no rational reason whatsoever.  I don’t know if we’re watching the same show, Pam, but geez — get with it.  Pam says that time helps and Emily will stop hurting some day.  Emily says she’s fine.

Hanna is trying to talk to Mona about fashion and then asks her if she’s just going to “look right through her,” but Mona just stares into space . . . Hanna tells Mona that she’s not here for Mona; she’s here for herself and wants to know what she did that made Mona hate her so much.  Sad.  Sadness.  Single tear.  Hanna leaves and runs into Wren who almost breaks Hanna’s cover (Hanna’s using an alias to visit Mona).  Wren volunteers a couple times a week (of course) and Hanna tells him that she just needs some answers, but Mona’s not talking.  But she IS listening.

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Hypnotoad
About

Hypnotoad is a 2009 graduate of the MFA Writing program at the School of the Art Institute of Chicago. He was a staple of the Chicago Quickies reading series, has been published in various Art Institute publications, and served as an actor/playwright for the Curious Theatre Branch's Rhinoceros Festival. His works have been online at Fiction At Work and is included in their short story collection. A victim of the crappy economy, he is now living back in Kansas. With his parents. His days now consist of perusing Yahoo Hot Jobs, and sporadically posting horrible ideas on his blog. Good times.

16 Comments

  1. 1
    thisbuggs4u
    Posted June 15, 2012 at 2:48 pm

    Hypno, I am so glad that you are back…I was going through withdrawls!! But now, thanks to the recap, I want a cupcake, thanks alot, f***er! :) JK I <3 you Hypno.

    Ok, lets see here…my thoughts…bullet points here..don't want to take up a bazillion "pages"
    -Ezra, gross. Yep Gross!
    -Didn't think Ella had it in her to help Emily get a passing grade!
    -Another One Tree Hill cast off in skankapotomus! she was Crazy Sara on OTH and she is going to be crazy now…
    -Wren is totes the person that Spencer can't trust…some how he is on the "A" team, I just am not sure how yet, along with Lucas, Jenna, and Nole/Noel, Melissa and Garrett…
    -Veronica, WTF I didn't know that was her name. I always just called her "Spencer's mom"!
    -Still think Toby has a smoking hot body, but his face seems to skinny for him, or maybe its the hair…IDK
    -Caleb, get a effin hair cut you effing douche! He was in a Macy's commercial for some online thing, and he was looking pretty good there….
    -Kind of figured Jenna was the driver right off the bat, hell Bitch can see, and I called that shit along time ago!
    -Bryon better not have been seeing Alison on the side!! I'd take a guess at Melissa…

    Now I really want a cupcake, I am trying to refrain from going and buying some…MR Z comes home next month, and I am trying to cut back on sweets and stuff….My fall down our stairs 2 months ago has not helped at all….

    Hypno, I am so glad you are back!!

  2. 2
    keebler elf
    Posted June 15, 2012 at 4:36 pm

    im glad your back, i couldn’t watch this show without the recaps!

    i wouldnt be surprised if alison and aria’s dad were hooking up, seems like that b**** was crazy! idk how they were friends with her

  3. 3
    Lurker
    Posted June 15, 2012 at 5:23 pm

    I haven’t read the recap yet, but I wanted to say YAY FOR HYPNO! I am thrilled that you are recapping!!! This totally made my day.

  4. 4
    no cars go
    Posted June 15, 2012 at 7:20 pm

    i also haven’t read yet but had to say i got so excited when i saw this up and saw who wrote it!!

  5. 5
    ChaCha
    Posted June 15, 2012 at 9:44 pm

    I have only read barely into the second episode, but I had to stop and comment that I love Hypno’s snark about Hannah’s earrings! I was so distracted by those things that I’m sure I missed something else going on. So I’ll keep reading……

  6. 6
    Hypnotoad Hypnotoad
    Posted June 15, 2012 at 10:24 pm

    I don’t know you guys. This season . . . Lackluster comes to mind. They better do some shiz with Mona prontito.

  7. 7
    Lizbot
    Posted June 16, 2012 at 8:29 am

    I’m really glad you’re back recapping this show Hypnotoad – glad for us, not for you. I gave up watching the show a few episodes before the finale. The only thing that could possibly lure me back would be the death of Ezra. Or his arrest. I could settle for either one. I completely hate that my 12 and 14 year old nieces are convinced that a relationship between an immature, bland-natured teacher and a 16 year old girl is cute and romantic. And the whole story-line of Ella giving in and attributing Aria’s insistence on the relationship as being part of her “independent spirit” rather than the result of her being a 16 year old with underdeveloped insight makes it even worse. But it’s like the writers know that the relationship bugs rational adults and insist on dragging it out like they’re sticking their tongues out at the naysayers (and attracting teens to the forbidden fruit of it). Either that or one or more of the writers is a pedophile and wants to promote the philosophy of NAMBLA (or what ever the man-girl equivalent organization is).

    So anyway, thanks for taking the bullet, because I love reading your recaps even though I can’t stand watching the show.

    I may have missed something since I missed the final episodes of last season, but what happened to Aria’s fake appropriate-aged boyfriend? The one who was obsessed with martial arts and was hiding it from his parents? Did he die? Move away? Or is that another dropped storyline.

  8. 8
    thisbuggs4u
    Posted June 16, 2012 at 1:27 pm

    Lizbot, I am going to go with Holden is another dropped storyline, or He is going to be the someone that knows something about Aria’s past…Now that you have brought up the fact that they are 16, umm I am going to assume, that they are now 18ish cause they are in their Senior year…I was 18 when I graduated in ’98….yeah, I also graduated from HS that was not 5 miles from Where they were keeping MaryKaye ….

    I usually have WTF moments when it comes to Aria, and what she wears, but whomever dresses Ashley for this show must be stuck in the 80′s!! Spencer has some questionable outfits sometimes. Emily, not so much.

    I do like the new do on Hanna/Ashley. Looks like Lucy Hale got a haircut over the break…

    I still have a feeling that Wren and Mona are working together… :) I get this from what Garrett said to spencer. Medical records don’t lie…

  9. 9
    Liz
    Posted June 16, 2012 at 3:22 pm

    Ok, 1) Hypno – Love you! So happy you’re back.
    2) I thought the same thing about Hanna and Wren – ew.
    3) The tennis guy, I thought he got mad at Spencer because he thought she submitted him to tennis camp (which A actually did) and broke up with her. And at that point she was also kind of scamming on Wren or Tobot or someone so she forgot him pretty fast. So I think that one actually did kind of tie up.
    4) I wanted to smack Ezra (more than I normally do) when he asked if they could forgot about Allison on the anniversary of her death so Aria could focus on him. What a self-centered asshat. I spit in your general direction, sir.
    5) I think Caleb went and stayed with mommy to visit but then came back cause his love was oh-so-strong for Hanna or whatever. But – is he still living with Lucas? If so, that makes this weirdness they’re having about Lucas even weirder – can’t they just ask Caleb to talk to him or something.
    6) I think Ashley’s embezzling is in the clear as long as A never rats her out. They made that one faker go away and I thought that was the end of it? Or am I forgetting stuff? The ring though – seriously what happened with that?
    7) It makes NO SENSE that they wouldn’t just call the police when the grave-robbing happened. Have they learned nothing??

  10. 10
    CrazyTrain CrazyTrain
    Posted June 16, 2012 at 3:23 pm

    I thought maybe ali planted the earrings but IDK why.
    This show.

    Love the recaps. Esp. because I tune out whenever Ezra is on the screen.

  11. 11
    NikkiHughes
    Posted June 18, 2012 at 1:25 pm

    It’s highly possible that I’m a dumbass, but I thought it was obvious that Alison planted those earrings……

  12. 12
    Lurker
    Posted June 18, 2012 at 3:18 pm

    I too was thinking that Allison planted the earrings.

  13. 13
    Hypnotoad Hypnotoad
    Posted June 18, 2012 at 7:19 pm

    Wow, you guys are jaded. Alison didn’t have a mean bone in her body and was nothing but nice to her friends.

    Also: SAAAAAAARRRRRRRCASSSSSSM!

    Yeah, she planted them. I don’t care if she’s dead — girl was a straight up beyotch.

    I’m wondering how long we’ll have to wait for the “Melissa had a miscarriage” reveal that isn’t really a reveal.

  14. 14
    Lurker
    Posted June 18, 2012 at 8:10 pm

    Hahaha Hypno! You crack me up! Until I read your recap I did not catch the whole “Melissa is having a rough time … probably had a miscarriage” incident. I find myself zoning out throught this show because it tends to get confusing. That is why I need your recaps … to help clear things up!!!

  15. 15
    plockeness monster plockeness monster
    Posted June 19, 2012 at 6:31 pm

    Yay hypno!!!!!! So glad your back to recap this cluster fuck!!!

  16. 16
    Rebecca
    Posted June 20, 2012 at 4:16 pm

    I just had a thought and had to post right away- watching the new eppy and in the “previously” whats his face thats in jail says – “I didnt kill Ally – people who dug up her grave know it – people lie medical records dont” and then they showed the teeth necklace- do u all think Ally is NOT dead and the teeth could have proved it?

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