Pretty Little Liars Recap: “A” is for “Another A-Hole”

Recaps

By Hypnotoad | Friday, June 15, 2012 | 12:00 pm | 16 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Pretty Little Liars, Recaps

The Tobot, having cleansed itself in the shower of his human companions, is now drying himself off in front of the one called Spencer.

I’ll throw you a bone, if you’re into this kind of thing.

You’re welcome, I suppose.  Then they make out and Spencer wonders why they’re waiting to do it.

“What is this ‘boner’ you humans speak of?”

Spencer gets yet another call from “unknown.”  Toby says, like everyone else, that he’s glad that Spencer and Co. were out of town when the Alison digging thing happened.

Ooooh, it’s Rosewood High’s senior registration weekend!  And Caleb wants to cook with Hanna.  I mean that literally.  And his hair looks like shit, as usual.  I mean that figuratively.  Well, mostly figuratively.  Aria and Spencer are talking about how Aria’s dad hates Ezra (I’ve always liked that Byron) and then they say hi to Lucas, who just skulks away without saying anything.  Boo!  Give Lucas some lines!  Lines that involve him coming out and then making out with the first Jason from Season 1!  They all think that Lucas is up to something.  And no one’s heard from Emily.

Emily, it turns out, is outside, staring at the school, all nervous about going in to register.  And then Aria goes to the restroom.  Oooh!  Suspense . . . less . . . ness.  Aria can’t lock the door!  And then someone makes weird sounds!  (Um, it’s a BATHROOM, Aria.  Weird sounds are kind of its thing.)  And then someone in black runs by!  Aria can see him/her through the (huge) crack in the door!  But then Aria can’t open the door!  And then the door opens!  And then it’s a commercial!  When we’re back, the other gals arrive to the restroom, where Aria says she had a panic attack and thinks she saw “A.”  Spencer tells her that that’s impossible since Mona is locked up.  

After the registration, Spencer’s at home, studying for some test.  Another call from “unknown” and Spencer ignores it.  Her mom wants her to come into the city for a girls’ night out with her and Melissa, but Spencer says that she can’t, and that Melissa will bounce back.  So . . . Melissa had a miscarriage or something?  Hmmmm . . . I barely care.  Spencer packs up her things and rushes out.

Ella is packing up some boxes.  I guess she’s moving out.  Again?  Or did Byron move out the last time?  Aria thinks that she and Ezra drove Ella and Byron apart.  Ella lies and says that’s not the case.  Aria talks about some “grown-up lunch” that Ella took her to when Aria was 13 and told her to be who she wants to be, and Aria’s grateful that Ella is letting her bone her ex-teacher.  

Wait, is there a new restaurant in Rosewood?!  Whaaaaaaa?!  What will The Only Restaurant in Rosewood do now that there’s competition?!  Although it might just be a coffee shop.  It’s kind of like The Bronze in Buffy, except it’s devoid of vampires.  And witty dialogue.  The Tobot is meeting Emily for some coffee.  They shoot the shit (I guess Spencer’s mom/dad is paying him to do some work around the house, which is just odd, if you ask me) and then The Tobot asks what kind of “sick person” would dig up Alison’s grave.

“Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh . . .”

Emily says she needs to talk to Toby about something.  Meanwhile, Spencer’s getting her Scooby Gang on down at the Lost Woods Resort (the Bates Motel they were at in the finale last half of season 2′s full season second part).  I’m trying to figure out if there’s some sort of message in the burned-out neon signs, but it spells out “two rert” in the lighted signs and “los ods so” in the un-lit signs, so f**k it.  Let’s move on.  Spencer walks to the motel, hears a twig breaking, and then strikes that turn-around-and-look-intensely-for-someone-or-something-odd pose that people often strike in scary movies and vaguely borderline-scary ABC Family dramas.  Scary music tells us that someone is possibly following Spencer probably.  Maybe.  Perhaps. 

“Hello?  Secret Life of the American Teenager?  Is that you?”

Spencer enters a motel room, which I’m assuming is the one that Mona rented or whatever, but it  looks huge and kind of like a classroom, so I’m not sure what’s going on, exactly.  What is Spencer looking for?  A clue?  A sign?  A continental breakfast?  Because I’m pretty sure the Lost Woods Resort doesn’t have one, Spence.  Unless it’s a fried egg in an envelope like in that Simpsons episode.  

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Hypnotoad
About

Hypnotoad is a 2009 graduate of the MFA Writing program at the School of the Art Institute of Chicago. He was a staple of the Chicago Quickies reading series, has been published in various Art Institute publications, and served as an actor/playwright for the Curious Theatre Branch's Rhinoceros Festival. His works have been online at Fiction At Work and is included in their short story collection. A victim of the crappy economy, he is now living back in Kansas. With his parents. His days now consist of perusing Yahoo Hot Jobs, and sporadically posting horrible ideas on his blog. Good times.

16 Comments

  1. 1
    thisbuggs4u
    Posted June 15, 2012 at 2:48 pm

    Hypno, I am so glad that you are back…I was going through withdrawls!! But now, thanks to the recap, I want a cupcake, thanks alot, f***er! :) JK I <3 you Hypno.

    Ok, lets see here…my thoughts…bullet points here..don't want to take up a bazillion "pages"
    -Ezra, gross. Yep Gross!
    -Didn't think Ella had it in her to help Emily get a passing grade!
    -Another One Tree Hill cast off in skankapotomus! she was Crazy Sara on OTH and she is going to be crazy now…
    -Wren is totes the person that Spencer can't trust…some how he is on the "A" team, I just am not sure how yet, along with Lucas, Jenna, and Nole/Noel, Melissa and Garrett…
    -Veronica, WTF I didn't know that was her name. I always just called her "Spencer's mom"!
    -Still think Toby has a smoking hot body, but his face seems to skinny for him, or maybe its the hair…IDK
    -Caleb, get a effin hair cut you effing douche! He was in a Macy's commercial for some online thing, and he was looking pretty good there….
    -Kind of figured Jenna was the driver right off the bat, hell Bitch can see, and I called that shit along time ago!
    -Bryon better not have been seeing Alison on the side!! I'd take a guess at Melissa…

    Now I really want a cupcake, I am trying to refrain from going and buying some…MR Z comes home next month, and I am trying to cut back on sweets and stuff….My fall down our stairs 2 months ago has not helped at all….

    Hypno, I am so glad you are back!!

  2. 2
    keebler elf
    Posted June 15, 2012 at 4:36 pm

    im glad your back, i couldn’t watch this show without the recaps!

    i wouldnt be surprised if alison and aria’s dad were hooking up, seems like that b**** was crazy! idk how they were friends with her

  3. 3
    Lurker
    Posted June 15, 2012 at 5:23 pm

    I haven’t read the recap yet, but I wanted to say YAY FOR HYPNO! I am thrilled that you are recapping!!! This totally made my day.

  4. 4
    no cars go
    Posted June 15, 2012 at 7:20 pm

    i also haven’t read yet but had to say i got so excited when i saw this up and saw who wrote it!!

  5. 5
    ChaCha
    Posted June 15, 2012 at 9:44 pm

    I have only read barely into the second episode, but I had to stop and comment that I love Hypno’s snark about Hannah’s earrings! I was so distracted by those things that I’m sure I missed something else going on. So I’ll keep reading……

  6. 6
    Hypnotoad Hypnotoad
    Posted June 15, 2012 at 10:24 pm

    I don’t know you guys. This season . . . Lackluster comes to mind. They better do some shiz with Mona prontito.

  7. 7
    Lizbot
    Posted June 16, 2012 at 8:29 am

    I’m really glad you’re back recapping this show Hypnotoad – glad for us, not for you. I gave up watching the show a few episodes before the finale. The only thing that could possibly lure me back would be the death of Ezra. Or his arrest. I could settle for either one. I completely hate that my 12 and 14 year old nieces are convinced that a relationship between an immature, bland-natured teacher and a 16 year old girl is cute and romantic. And the whole story-line of Ella giving in and attributing Aria’s insistence on the relationship as being part of her “independent spirit” rather than the result of her being a 16 year old with underdeveloped insight makes it even worse. But it’s like the writers know that the relationship bugs rational adults and insist on dragging it out like they’re sticking their tongues out at the naysayers (and attracting teens to the forbidden fruit of it). Either that or one or more of the writers is a pedophile and wants to promote the philosophy of NAMBLA (or what ever the man-girl equivalent organization is).

    So anyway, thanks for taking the bullet, because I love reading your recaps even though I can’t stand watching the show.

    I may have missed something since I missed the final episodes of last season, but what happened to Aria’s fake appropriate-aged boyfriend? The one who was obsessed with martial arts and was hiding it from his parents? Did he die? Move away? Or is that another dropped storyline.

  8. 8
    thisbuggs4u
    Posted June 16, 2012 at 1:27 pm

    Lizbot, I am going to go with Holden is another dropped storyline, or He is going to be the someone that knows something about Aria’s past…Now that you have brought up the fact that they are 16, umm I am going to assume, that they are now 18ish cause they are in their Senior year…I was 18 when I graduated in ’98….yeah, I also graduated from HS that was not 5 miles from Where they were keeping MaryKaye ….

    I usually have WTF moments when it comes to Aria, and what she wears, but whomever dresses Ashley for this show must be stuck in the 80′s!! Spencer has some questionable outfits sometimes. Emily, not so much.

    I do like the new do on Hanna/Ashley. Looks like Lucy Hale got a haircut over the break…

    I still have a feeling that Wren and Mona are working together… :) I get this from what Garrett said to spencer. Medical records don’t lie…

  9. 9
    Liz
    Posted June 16, 2012 at 3:22 pm

    Ok, 1) Hypno – Love you! So happy you’re back.
    2) I thought the same thing about Hanna and Wren – ew.
    3) The tennis guy, I thought he got mad at Spencer because he thought she submitted him to tennis camp (which A actually did) and broke up with her. And at that point she was also kind of scamming on Wren or Tobot or someone so she forgot him pretty fast. So I think that one actually did kind of tie up.
    4) I wanted to smack Ezra (more than I normally do) when he asked if they could forgot about Allison on the anniversary of her death so Aria could focus on him. What a self-centered asshat. I spit in your general direction, sir.
    5) I think Caleb went and stayed with mommy to visit but then came back cause his love was oh-so-strong for Hanna or whatever. But – is he still living with Lucas? If so, that makes this weirdness they’re having about Lucas even weirder – can’t they just ask Caleb to talk to him or something.
    6) I think Ashley’s embezzling is in the clear as long as A never rats her out. They made that one faker go away and I thought that was the end of it? Or am I forgetting stuff? The ring though – seriously what happened with that?
    7) It makes NO SENSE that they wouldn’t just call the police when the grave-robbing happened. Have they learned nothing??

  10. 10
    CrazyTrain CrazyTrain
    Posted June 16, 2012 at 3:23 pm

    I thought maybe ali planted the earrings but IDK why.
    This show.

    Love the recaps. Esp. because I tune out whenever Ezra is on the screen.

  11. 11
    NikkiHughes
    Posted June 18, 2012 at 1:25 pm

    It’s highly possible that I’m a dumbass, but I thought it was obvious that Alison planted those earrings……

  12. 12
    Lurker
    Posted June 18, 2012 at 3:18 pm

    I too was thinking that Allison planted the earrings.

  13. 13
    Hypnotoad Hypnotoad
    Posted June 18, 2012 at 7:19 pm

    Wow, you guys are jaded. Alison didn’t have a mean bone in her body and was nothing but nice to her friends.

    Also: SAAAAAAARRRRRRRCASSSSSSM!

    Yeah, she planted them. I don’t care if she’s dead — girl was a straight up beyotch.

    I’m wondering how long we’ll have to wait for the “Melissa had a miscarriage” reveal that isn’t really a reveal.

  14. 14
    Lurker
    Posted June 18, 2012 at 8:10 pm

    Hahaha Hypno! You crack me up! Until I read your recap I did not catch the whole “Melissa is having a rough time … probably had a miscarriage” incident. I find myself zoning out throught this show because it tends to get confusing. That is why I need your recaps … to help clear things up!!!

  15. 15
    plockeness monster plockeness monster
    Posted June 19, 2012 at 6:31 pm

    Yay hypno!!!!!! So glad your back to recap this cluster fuck!!!

  16. 16
    Rebecca
    Posted June 20, 2012 at 4:16 pm

    I just had a thought and had to post right away- watching the new eppy and in the “previously” whats his face thats in jail says – “I didnt kill Ally – people who dug up her grave know it – people lie medical records dont” and then they showed the teeth necklace- do u all think Ally is NOT dead and the teeth could have proved it?

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