Pretty Little Liars Recap: “A” is for “Another A-Hole”

Recaps

By Hypnotoad | Friday, June 15, 2012 | 12:00 pm | 16 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Pretty Little Liars, Recaps

Later on, over lunch or breakfast or brunch or whatever, the girls agree that they couldn’t have taken the necklace to the police because Em’s fingerprints are all over it.  God, I really hate television for perpetuating the stereotype that your fingerprints are on EVERYTHING.  You can’t even really get accurate fingerprints from a gun let alone a tooth necklace.  Also, why is the screen so glossy?  It’s like a Moonlighting episode.

“ADDISON!!!!  I demand more Vaseline!”

If you still haven’t watched “Moonlighting,” I highly suggest it.  It was both ahead of its time AND a perfect snapshot of its time.  Will future generations say the same about Pretty Little Liars? 

Hanna’s earrings say no.

I’m sorry, those things are just ick in any time period.  Spencer and Aria tell Hanna to make Mona talk about what’s going on because she probably has secrets and minions.  Hanna:  “You guys ripped me a new one last week for visiting her.  Now you want me to go back there with cupcakes?”  Hahahaha!  Yes.  YES.  Spencer agrees to talk to Garrett if Hanna talks to Mona, but Hanna just skulks off.  And then Jenna returns, with her sunglasses and cane.  The girls think Lucas and Jenna are in cahoots.  Jenna runs into some dude and Aria’s all, “Is it just me or is she blinder than last year?”  Hee.  

Hanna joins Caleb in a classroom to tell him that she’s meeting with her mom after school, so maybe they could do dinner tomorrow night instead.  Methinks Caleb knows that Hanna is lying.  Emily’s talking to the other girls about how she might have to be held back.  Which, given that it’s the first day of her senior year, I’d think that’d probably be something that would have been discussed earlier.  Like May.  When school ended.  Aria suggests that Ezra tutor Emily.  The other girls are skeezed out, but Aria insists.  And then Meredith shows up.  Unfortunately for us, it is not Meredith Baxter-Birney, but the skank that Aria’s dad skanked around with when he was skanking around on Aria’s mom.  She tells Aria that she’s applying for a teaching position at the school.  Oh, bitch, what?!

After school (or something), Aria is complaining to Ezra about the Meredith thing while they hide out in Ezra’s car to avoid any uncomfortable statutory-ness.  You know what?  If you have to hide out in your boyfriend’s car because your relationship is semi-illegal, then, I’m sorry:

That’s a dealbreaker, ladies!

You know what else should be a dealbreaker?  EZRA IN GENERAL.  I’ve seen bowls of Cream of Wheat that were more interesting.  Whine, Aria, whine whine whine.  Ezra tells her not to tell any of her parents because her dad will get pissed off and take it out on their relationship.  I’m sorry, I meant “relationship.”  She tells him to help out Emily.  

At the pokey, Spencer is visiting Garrett, where she tells him to give her more info before she asks her mom to be his lawyer.  He says that he didn’t kill Maya or Alison and whatever was taken from Alison’s grave would prove that.  So . . . huh? Wasn’t Alison missing for, like, a year and then her body was found?  So it’s whatever she was buried in?  Wouldn’t her parents have picked out her burial clothes or something?  I don’t know.  This show . . . it bugs, you guys.  It bugs.  Garrett says that someone Spencer knows well is lying to her, but medical records don’t lie.  And then Garrett motions for the guard to take him away.

Back at the Rosewood Asylum for Secondary Characters, Hanna is talking to Mona about stupid gossip crap.  I will say that a part of me thinks it’s very sweet that Hanna is still talking to Mona like she’s not, you know, bat-shit insane.  She brings up Noel Kahn and asks Mona if he ever comes to visit.  Mona finally looks at Hanna, but doesn’t say anything.  Then the moment I’ve been waiting for finally arrives (I saw it in the season 3 previews and it gave me metaphoric PLL-boner):  Hanna starts to get angry and tells Mona that if she told the police that Mona tried to run her over then Mona’d be in jail and then she’s all, “You owe me!” and throws a chair.  It’s good, but it’s not as satisfying as I thought it’d be.  And then Wren runs in, all, What’s going on?  It’s another convenient moment in this show of many convenient moments.  Wren says that the visit is o-VAH.  They leave and Mona stares at the visitor’s pass that Hanna threw into the wastebasket.

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Hypnotoad
About

Hypnotoad is a 2009 graduate of the MFA Writing program at the School of the Art Institute of Chicago. He was a staple of the Chicago Quickies reading series, has been published in various Art Institute publications, and served as an actor/playwright for the Curious Theatre Branch's Rhinoceros Festival. His works have been online at Fiction At Work and is included in their short story collection. A victim of the crappy economy, he is now living back in Kansas. With his parents. His days now consist of perusing Yahoo Hot Jobs, and sporadically posting horrible ideas on his blog. Good times.

16 Comments

  1. 1
    thisbuggs4u
    Posted June 15, 2012 at 2:48 pm

    Hypno, I am so glad that you are back…I was going through withdrawls!! But now, thanks to the recap, I want a cupcake, thanks alot, f***er! :) JK I <3 you Hypno.

    Ok, lets see here…my thoughts…bullet points here..don't want to take up a bazillion "pages"
    -Ezra, gross. Yep Gross!
    -Didn't think Ella had it in her to help Emily get a passing grade!
    -Another One Tree Hill cast off in skankapotomus! she was Crazy Sara on OTH and she is going to be crazy now…
    -Wren is totes the person that Spencer can't trust…some how he is on the "A" team, I just am not sure how yet, along with Lucas, Jenna, and Nole/Noel, Melissa and Garrett…
    -Veronica, WTF I didn't know that was her name. I always just called her "Spencer's mom"!
    -Still think Toby has a smoking hot body, but his face seems to skinny for him, or maybe its the hair…IDK
    -Caleb, get a effin hair cut you effing douche! He was in a Macy's commercial for some online thing, and he was looking pretty good there….
    -Kind of figured Jenna was the driver right off the bat, hell Bitch can see, and I called that shit along time ago!
    -Bryon better not have been seeing Alison on the side!! I'd take a guess at Melissa…

    Now I really want a cupcake, I am trying to refrain from going and buying some…MR Z comes home next month, and I am trying to cut back on sweets and stuff….My fall down our stairs 2 months ago has not helped at all….

    Hypno, I am so glad you are back!!

  2. 2
    keebler elf
    Posted June 15, 2012 at 4:36 pm

    im glad your back, i couldn’t watch this show without the recaps!

    i wouldnt be surprised if alison and aria’s dad were hooking up, seems like that b**** was crazy! idk how they were friends with her

  3. 3
    Lurker
    Posted June 15, 2012 at 5:23 pm

    I haven’t read the recap yet, but I wanted to say YAY FOR HYPNO! I am thrilled that you are recapping!!! This totally made my day.

  4. 4
    no cars go
    Posted June 15, 2012 at 7:20 pm

    i also haven’t read yet but had to say i got so excited when i saw this up and saw who wrote it!!

  5. 5
    ChaCha
    Posted June 15, 2012 at 9:44 pm

    I have only read barely into the second episode, but I had to stop and comment that I love Hypno’s snark about Hannah’s earrings! I was so distracted by those things that I’m sure I missed something else going on. So I’ll keep reading……

  6. 6
    Hypnotoad Hypnotoad
    Posted June 15, 2012 at 10:24 pm

    I don’t know you guys. This season . . . Lackluster comes to mind. They better do some shiz with Mona prontito.

  7. 7
    Lizbot
    Posted June 16, 2012 at 8:29 am

    I’m really glad you’re back recapping this show Hypnotoad – glad for us, not for you. I gave up watching the show a few episodes before the finale. The only thing that could possibly lure me back would be the death of Ezra. Or his arrest. I could settle for either one. I completely hate that my 12 and 14 year old nieces are convinced that a relationship between an immature, bland-natured teacher and a 16 year old girl is cute and romantic. And the whole story-line of Ella giving in and attributing Aria’s insistence on the relationship as being part of her “independent spirit” rather than the result of her being a 16 year old with underdeveloped insight makes it even worse. But it’s like the writers know that the relationship bugs rational adults and insist on dragging it out like they’re sticking their tongues out at the naysayers (and attracting teens to the forbidden fruit of it). Either that or one or more of the writers is a pedophile and wants to promote the philosophy of NAMBLA (or what ever the man-girl equivalent organization is).

    So anyway, thanks for taking the bullet, because I love reading your recaps even though I can’t stand watching the show.

    I may have missed something since I missed the final episodes of last season, but what happened to Aria’s fake appropriate-aged boyfriend? The one who was obsessed with martial arts and was hiding it from his parents? Did he die? Move away? Or is that another dropped storyline.

  8. 8
    thisbuggs4u
    Posted June 16, 2012 at 1:27 pm

    Lizbot, I am going to go with Holden is another dropped storyline, or He is going to be the someone that knows something about Aria’s past…Now that you have brought up the fact that they are 16, umm I am going to assume, that they are now 18ish cause they are in their Senior year…I was 18 when I graduated in ’98….yeah, I also graduated from HS that was not 5 miles from Where they were keeping MaryKaye ….

    I usually have WTF moments when it comes to Aria, and what she wears, but whomever dresses Ashley for this show must be stuck in the 80′s!! Spencer has some questionable outfits sometimes. Emily, not so much.

    I do like the new do on Hanna/Ashley. Looks like Lucy Hale got a haircut over the break…

    I still have a feeling that Wren and Mona are working together… :) I get this from what Garrett said to spencer. Medical records don’t lie…

  9. 9
    Liz
    Posted June 16, 2012 at 3:22 pm

    Ok, 1) Hypno – Love you! So happy you’re back.
    2) I thought the same thing about Hanna and Wren – ew.
    3) The tennis guy, I thought he got mad at Spencer because he thought she submitted him to tennis camp (which A actually did) and broke up with her. And at that point she was also kind of scamming on Wren or Tobot or someone so she forgot him pretty fast. So I think that one actually did kind of tie up.
    4) I wanted to smack Ezra (more than I normally do) when he asked if they could forgot about Allison on the anniversary of her death so Aria could focus on him. What a self-centered asshat. I spit in your general direction, sir.
    5) I think Caleb went and stayed with mommy to visit but then came back cause his love was oh-so-strong for Hanna or whatever. But – is he still living with Lucas? If so, that makes this weirdness they’re having about Lucas even weirder – can’t they just ask Caleb to talk to him or something.
    6) I think Ashley’s embezzling is in the clear as long as A never rats her out. They made that one faker go away and I thought that was the end of it? Or am I forgetting stuff? The ring though – seriously what happened with that?
    7) It makes NO SENSE that they wouldn’t just call the police when the grave-robbing happened. Have they learned nothing??

  10. 10
    CrazyTrain CrazyTrain
    Posted June 16, 2012 at 3:23 pm

    I thought maybe ali planted the earrings but IDK why.
    This show.

    Love the recaps. Esp. because I tune out whenever Ezra is on the screen.

  11. 11
    NikkiHughes
    Posted June 18, 2012 at 1:25 pm

    It’s highly possible that I’m a dumbass, but I thought it was obvious that Alison planted those earrings……

  12. 12
    Lurker
    Posted June 18, 2012 at 3:18 pm

    I too was thinking that Allison planted the earrings.

  13. 13
    Hypnotoad Hypnotoad
    Posted June 18, 2012 at 7:19 pm

    Wow, you guys are jaded. Alison didn’t have a mean bone in her body and was nothing but nice to her friends.

    Also: SAAAAAAARRRRRRRCASSSSSSM!

    Yeah, she planted them. I don’t care if she’s dead — girl was a straight up beyotch.

    I’m wondering how long we’ll have to wait for the “Melissa had a miscarriage” reveal that isn’t really a reveal.

  14. 14
    Lurker
    Posted June 18, 2012 at 8:10 pm

    Hahaha Hypno! You crack me up! Until I read your recap I did not catch the whole “Melissa is having a rough time … probably had a miscarriage” incident. I find myself zoning out throught this show because it tends to get confusing. That is why I need your recaps … to help clear things up!!!

  15. 15
    plockeness monster plockeness monster
    Posted June 19, 2012 at 6:31 pm

    Yay hypno!!!!!! So glad your back to recap this cluster fuck!!!

  16. 16
    Rebecca
    Posted June 20, 2012 at 4:16 pm

    I just had a thought and had to post right away- watching the new eppy and in the “previously” whats his face thats in jail says – “I didnt kill Ally – people who dug up her grave know it – people lie medical records dont” and then they showed the teeth necklace- do u all think Ally is NOT dead and the teeth could have proved it?

Post a Comment

Your email is never published nor shared. Required fields are marked *

*
*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Human Verification: In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.