Pretty Little Liars Recap: “A” is for “Another A-Hole”

Recaps

By Hypnotoad | Friday, June 15, 2012 | 12:00 pm | 16 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Pretty Little Liars, Recaps

Emily’s in class, listening to (I’m guessing) lesbian music, prepping for her English test.  Ella tells her to take out the headphones and pick up the No. 2 and get crack-a-lackin’.  I guess this is a make-up test because there are only 3 students in the classroom.

Hanna and Caleb enter Arkham Asylum to see Mona.  Hanna leaves Caleb in the waiting area and enters Mona’s room.  I miss regular-bitchy-Mona, you guys.  She was the Edie Britt of PLL and now I’m afraid that they’re making her the Oliver Trask of PLL.

F**K OFF, OLIVER.  F**K OFF FOREVER. 

Hanna tells Mona that she wants to return a favor — Hanna’s going to perform a makeover on Mona.  I think.  Which is really sweet.  I think.

Spencer’s meeting Toby for some mid-day espionage.  Toby hands Spencer some eye drops that Jenna got last spring and tells Spencer that the expiration date is weird; if Jenna’s surgery didn’t work, then why is she renewing the prescription?  Spencer’s like, Are you saying that that blind bitch isn’t blind and is just a regular sighted bitch like the rest of us?  Yup.

Emily’s about done with her (maybe?) make-up test when she spies some girl putting her hair in a ponytail, causing her to flashback to the night of the dig, in the convertible, where a girl in the driver’s seat is also doing the same thing.  Ella asks if Emily’s okay and then Em looks at her test and has more flashbacks — this time seeing the driver’s face.  It appears to be Jenna.  Or, at the very least, Jenna-ish.  It may be Michelle Trachtenberg, since she hasn’t been too busy lately.  I don’t know.  Emily’s all weird about turning in her test and Ella asks if she needs more time, but Emily rushes off.

Aria arrives at The Bronze (or whatever), because it’s a teen TV show and everyone drinks coffee at a hip coffee bar at 4pm on a weekday, and spies Meredith.  Since Aria’s my least favorite, I’m gonna shorthand it:  Aria starts to apologize, Meredith says that Byron already told her about it, Aria apologizes for real, and Meredith says that she’s meeting Byron for lunch and has Aria to thank for it.  Aria mentions the earring and Meredith’s all, Say whaaaa?!  Meredith says that it’s not her earring.  I swear to god — if Byron was yet ANOTHER dude who statutory-boned Alison, I will stop recapping this show, I will quit.  I will throw a hissy and quit.

Spencer is visiting Garrett again, but he’s with his lawyer, so Spencer says she’ll wait.  She hangs out around the corner and hears her mom’s (Veronica’s) voice asking about “all previous visitors.”  Oh, suh-nap!  Veronica wants a list from the last 5 months, which the guard can totally do.

Caleb is waiting for Hanna when Wren shows up and is all Britishly asking about who Caleb is.  Caleb introduces himself as Hanna’s boyfriend and Wren blabs on about how he and Hanna have discussed Hanna’s anger to Mona and “ambiguous loss” and crikey wanker bullocks.  Wren tells Caleb to give Hanna his “best.”  Caleb and his dirty hippie hair are suspicious.

Spencer asks Garrett what her mom was doing here and Garrett’s all, My new attorney told me not to talk.  She asks if her mother is his lawyer and then gets all incredulous about how her mother being Garrett’s lawyer; she asks about Jenna and Garrett tells the guard that he’s done.

So, it’s like 9pm, and since Ella is the most dedicated teacher ever, she’s still at school grading papers.  Whereas any normal teacher would have taken that shit home and slapped a “C” on it during his/her third glass of shiraz.  Ella is looking at Emily’s test and is perplexed/possibly annoyed to find a lot of questions left unanswered.

“18.)  Which of these sub-plots have the PLL writers dropped completely?
             a.)  Ashley’s embezzlement
             b.)  Melissa’s missing/pawned engagement ring
             c.)  Caleb’s California birth mother
              d.)  All of the above”

All of a sudden, Ella hears something from outside her door.  Oh no!  

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Hypnotoad
About

Hypnotoad is a 2009 graduate of the MFA Writing program at the School of the Art Institute of Chicago. He was a staple of the Chicago Quickies reading series, has been published in various Art Institute publications, and served as an actor/playwright for the Curious Theatre Branch's Rhinoceros Festival. His works have been online at Fiction At Work and is included in their short story collection. A victim of the crappy economy, he is now living back in Kansas. With his parents. His days now consist of perusing Yahoo Hot Jobs, and sporadically posting horrible ideas on his blog. Good times.

16 Comments

  1. 1
    thisbuggs4u
    Posted June 15, 2012 at 2:48 pm

    Hypno, I am so glad that you are back…I was going through withdrawls!! But now, thanks to the recap, I want a cupcake, thanks alot, f***er! :) JK I <3 you Hypno.

    Ok, lets see here…my thoughts…bullet points here..don't want to take up a bazillion "pages"
    -Ezra, gross. Yep Gross!
    -Didn't think Ella had it in her to help Emily get a passing grade!
    -Another One Tree Hill cast off in skankapotomus! she was Crazy Sara on OTH and she is going to be crazy now…
    -Wren is totes the person that Spencer can't trust…some how he is on the "A" team, I just am not sure how yet, along with Lucas, Jenna, and Nole/Noel, Melissa and Garrett…
    -Veronica, WTF I didn't know that was her name. I always just called her "Spencer's mom"!
    -Still think Toby has a smoking hot body, but his face seems to skinny for him, or maybe its the hair…IDK
    -Caleb, get a effin hair cut you effing douche! He was in a Macy's commercial for some online thing, and he was looking pretty good there….
    -Kind of figured Jenna was the driver right off the bat, hell Bitch can see, and I called that shit along time ago!
    -Bryon better not have been seeing Alison on the side!! I'd take a guess at Melissa…

    Now I really want a cupcake, I am trying to refrain from going and buying some…MR Z comes home next month, and I am trying to cut back on sweets and stuff….My fall down our stairs 2 months ago has not helped at all….

    Hypno, I am so glad you are back!!

  2. 2
    keebler elf
    Posted June 15, 2012 at 4:36 pm

    im glad your back, i couldn’t watch this show without the recaps!

    i wouldnt be surprised if alison and aria’s dad were hooking up, seems like that b**** was crazy! idk how they were friends with her

  3. 3
    Lurker
    Posted June 15, 2012 at 5:23 pm

    I haven’t read the recap yet, but I wanted to say YAY FOR HYPNO! I am thrilled that you are recapping!!! This totally made my day.

  4. 4
    no cars go
    Posted June 15, 2012 at 7:20 pm

    i also haven’t read yet but had to say i got so excited when i saw this up and saw who wrote it!!

  5. 5
    ChaCha
    Posted June 15, 2012 at 9:44 pm

    I have only read barely into the second episode, but I had to stop and comment that I love Hypno’s snark about Hannah’s earrings! I was so distracted by those things that I’m sure I missed something else going on. So I’ll keep reading……

  6. 6
    Hypnotoad Hypnotoad
    Posted June 15, 2012 at 10:24 pm

    I don’t know you guys. This season . . . Lackluster comes to mind. They better do some shiz with Mona prontito.

  7. 7
    Lizbot
    Posted June 16, 2012 at 8:29 am

    I’m really glad you’re back recapping this show Hypnotoad – glad for us, not for you. I gave up watching the show a few episodes before the finale. The only thing that could possibly lure me back would be the death of Ezra. Or his arrest. I could settle for either one. I completely hate that my 12 and 14 year old nieces are convinced that a relationship between an immature, bland-natured teacher and a 16 year old girl is cute and romantic. And the whole story-line of Ella giving in and attributing Aria’s insistence on the relationship as being part of her “independent spirit” rather than the result of her being a 16 year old with underdeveloped insight makes it even worse. But it’s like the writers know that the relationship bugs rational adults and insist on dragging it out like they’re sticking their tongues out at the naysayers (and attracting teens to the forbidden fruit of it). Either that or one or more of the writers is a pedophile and wants to promote the philosophy of NAMBLA (or what ever the man-girl equivalent organization is).

    So anyway, thanks for taking the bullet, because I love reading your recaps even though I can’t stand watching the show.

    I may have missed something since I missed the final episodes of last season, but what happened to Aria’s fake appropriate-aged boyfriend? The one who was obsessed with martial arts and was hiding it from his parents? Did he die? Move away? Or is that another dropped storyline.

  8. 8
    thisbuggs4u
    Posted June 16, 2012 at 1:27 pm

    Lizbot, I am going to go with Holden is another dropped storyline, or He is going to be the someone that knows something about Aria’s past…Now that you have brought up the fact that they are 16, umm I am going to assume, that they are now 18ish cause they are in their Senior year…I was 18 when I graduated in ’98….yeah, I also graduated from HS that was not 5 miles from Where they were keeping MaryKaye ….

    I usually have WTF moments when it comes to Aria, and what she wears, but whomever dresses Ashley for this show must be stuck in the 80′s!! Spencer has some questionable outfits sometimes. Emily, not so much.

    I do like the new do on Hanna/Ashley. Looks like Lucy Hale got a haircut over the break…

    I still have a feeling that Wren and Mona are working together… :) I get this from what Garrett said to spencer. Medical records don’t lie…

  9. 9
    Liz
    Posted June 16, 2012 at 3:22 pm

    Ok, 1) Hypno – Love you! So happy you’re back.
    2) I thought the same thing about Hanna and Wren – ew.
    3) The tennis guy, I thought he got mad at Spencer because he thought she submitted him to tennis camp (which A actually did) and broke up with her. And at that point she was also kind of scamming on Wren or Tobot or someone so she forgot him pretty fast. So I think that one actually did kind of tie up.
    4) I wanted to smack Ezra (more than I normally do) when he asked if they could forgot about Allison on the anniversary of her death so Aria could focus on him. What a self-centered asshat. I spit in your general direction, sir.
    5) I think Caleb went and stayed with mommy to visit but then came back cause his love was oh-so-strong for Hanna or whatever. But – is he still living with Lucas? If so, that makes this weirdness they’re having about Lucas even weirder – can’t they just ask Caleb to talk to him or something.
    6) I think Ashley’s embezzling is in the clear as long as A never rats her out. They made that one faker go away and I thought that was the end of it? Or am I forgetting stuff? The ring though – seriously what happened with that?
    7) It makes NO SENSE that they wouldn’t just call the police when the grave-robbing happened. Have they learned nothing??

  10. 10
    CrazyTrain CrazyTrain
    Posted June 16, 2012 at 3:23 pm

    I thought maybe ali planted the earrings but IDK why.
    This show.

    Love the recaps. Esp. because I tune out whenever Ezra is on the screen.

  11. 11
    NikkiHughes
    Posted June 18, 2012 at 1:25 pm

    It’s highly possible that I’m a dumbass, but I thought it was obvious that Alison planted those earrings……

  12. 12
    Lurker
    Posted June 18, 2012 at 3:18 pm

    I too was thinking that Allison planted the earrings.

  13. 13
    Hypnotoad Hypnotoad
    Posted June 18, 2012 at 7:19 pm

    Wow, you guys are jaded. Alison didn’t have a mean bone in her body and was nothing but nice to her friends.

    Also: SAAAAAAARRRRRRRCASSSSSSM!

    Yeah, she planted them. I don’t care if she’s dead — girl was a straight up beyotch.

    I’m wondering how long we’ll have to wait for the “Melissa had a miscarriage” reveal that isn’t really a reveal.

  14. 14
    Lurker
    Posted June 18, 2012 at 8:10 pm

    Hahaha Hypno! You crack me up! Until I read your recap I did not catch the whole “Melissa is having a rough time … probably had a miscarriage” incident. I find myself zoning out throught this show because it tends to get confusing. That is why I need your recaps … to help clear things up!!!

  15. 15
    plockeness monster plockeness monster
    Posted June 19, 2012 at 6:31 pm

    Yay hypno!!!!!! So glad your back to recap this cluster fuck!!!

  16. 16
    Rebecca
    Posted June 20, 2012 at 4:16 pm

    I just had a thought and had to post right away- watching the new eppy and in the “previously” whats his face thats in jail says – “I didnt kill Ally – people who dug up her grave know it – people lie medical records dont” and then they showed the teeth necklace- do u all think Ally is NOT dead and the teeth could have proved it?

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