One of our favorite traditions here at TVgasm is predicting the future. Click here to find out what we got right so far this season, and find out our guesses and add your own for the winter season after the jump!
SuperStars of Dance on NBC at 9pm.
Chooch (TV Patrol): Michael Flatley is the host. This competition is almost like the Olympics. It’s got a judge from each of the 8 countries competing. So there is no cheating, the judge of the pair’s country, can’t vote for them. This show will move to Monday the following night. It’s finale will be on Monday, 1/26.
HoneyGangsta (The Bachelor): If the Lord of the Dance is hosting, will this be like worshiping at dance church? Will we get to take Dance Communion?
PopPrincess (Momma’s Boys): If Cloris Leachman isn’t involved, I ain’t watching it.
Flipit (Top Chef, American Idol): I hope Flatley dances on some fire again like he did on DWTS this year. I have my fingers crossed that one day a flame will catch his coat tails and he will officially become the most flaming hetero dancer ever.
Mones (90210): I predict many dance montages set to Lady Gaga’s “Let’s Dance”.
MandaMo (Stylista): Didn’t Michael Flatley get accused of raping someone and then sue her for extortion? Who cares about dancing! I want to know about THAT! My prediction is that another woman will accuse him of rape this season. And that woman will be a one Miss Nigel Lythgoe.
Copyhacker (House): YAWN.
Flipit: But they’re SUPERSTARS!!! OF DANCE!
Schoonie (Survivor, Big Brother): I’m sorry, but I have no desire to see yet MORE people dance on television, especially not if it is, like, Bosnian-Herzogovnian Clog Dancing or whatever.
TVgasm Predicts: This is a short, set season so it will last. If it’s cancelled then it will have sucked far more than we could have ever guessed. Survival: 100%
Rock of Love Bus with Bret Michaels on VH1 at 9pm.
Chooch: Bret got his whores on a tour bus this time so he can just dump the loser off by the side of the road.
Flipit: Ah, back to where they were found in the first place! Rock of Love: Circle of Life.
Monamonzano (True Beauty): I’d watch if they started the cameras as soon as the girl got dumped from the bus. A stripper/hairdresser/model? At a Poughkipsie clan rally? Count me in!
YentaPatrol (Real Housewives of Orange County): Stripper poles, sluts and booze at 65 mph!! The highway patrol is gonna love this show.
Schoonie: This filmed in Chicago, and I actually saw the group of girls while they were filming (I happened to be in the same place at the same time) and I can tell you personally that this is going to be skank-tastic. I’m talking the “get your TV penicillin” type.
Copyhacker: Wait, what’s Bret doing on a tour bus? Does he have a day job again? You can’t tell me that Poison has any actual fans left.
HoneyGangsta: That bus is not going to make it 50 miles before simultaneously combusting – which is the only way to clean it anyway.
MandaMo: My prediction is that there will be an outbreak of pink eye when the girls decide to dabble in Bret’s black eyeliner.
TVgasm Predicts: We smell something. Something really skanky. We’re holding our noses, but there’s no way in hell we’re not gonna watch. 100%
The tool shed.
Tool Academy on VH1 at 10pm.
Chooch: This is what VH1 has to say about the show: “It’s a new jerk-tastic series wherein 9 of the worst boyfriends ever are sent to relationship school to try to mend their rotten ways.” Maybe they’ll follow behind Brett’s bus & pick up his losers.
MandaMo: I will be watching this show to see if any of my AMAZING ex-boyfriends made the cut! However, I like to believe they all died.
Dogsnaxx (24): Did comic strip Cathy come up with this “men suck” concept for a show?
Flipit: Cathy may be a dowdy loser, but she’s usually right. I’ve watched all the teaser clips and trust me, these men do suck. But they work out. A LOT. I’m down!
Mones: Remember when VH1 was MTV’s classier younger sister who didn’t drink, do drugs, spoke proper English and never went past 2nd base, but was still fun to be with??? Now, much like their contestants, these shows go all the way. Another hit.
TVgasm Predicts: 100% on a full first season because VH1 already paid for it and their cheap. 60% on a second season, though.
Do you remember on Friends when Ross got his teeth bleached? Yikes.
The Bachelor returns for it’s 13th season on ABC at 8pm.
Chooch: ABC is recycling another guy who was sent packing by a ‘Bachelorette”. Jason is a single dad who gets to dump 24 girls to find true love. Paybacks are a bitch!
Copyhacker: Or maybe bitches are payback? I just want to see if Jason is going to go on and on about how he got dumped by the girl that went on and on about being dumped by the guy.
HoneyGangsta: Recyling the recycled. We should get carbon credits for watching.
MandaMo: I refuse to watch this show simply because we are supposed to pity this man and/or see him as a hero just because he is a single dad. Well, what about all the single moms out there?! We glorify the men and yet cast aside the women!? Based on principle, I will not succumb to watching yet another “Bachelor.” My prediction: My stand-off will last three weeks until I accidentally catch a glimpse and become addicted yet again. Damn you, Bachelor!
Schoonie: I’d be all “This show’s still on?” but I recap Survivor, so…
Monamonzano: This time, he’s not just looking for love. He’s looking for marriage (and, probably, down the line, a divorce). It’s old hat, but I’ll be watching when the roses are being doled out….this shit never gets old. It’s a lot like me- immortal. And, awesome. And, always in luxury-wear.
Flipit: Dr. Laura says you shouldn’t date when you have kids. Especially 24 girls at a time. I hope this show literally makes her head explode. That alone would make all of this worth it.
Dogsnaxx: They should just re-title themselves “who wants my sloppy seconds?”
TVgasm Predicts: Duh. 100%
Diet Tribe on LIFETIME at 10pm.
Chooch: Five fat friends go on a diet together for 90 days & get a TV show too! “From Fat to Fit” is their motto! That just motivated me to the donut box.
HoneyGangsta: What is 90 days going to accomplish? I’ve been on a diet since middle school and it still hasn’t worked.
YentaPatrol: Doesn’t Lifetime know that they’re going to need at least one morbidly obese transgendered fat buddy to compete in today’s market?
Cherie (Bad Girls Club): I’ll watch because I firmly believe that just watching someone else exercise will make me lose weight.
Mones: So it’s television for SKINNY women now, Lifetime?
Monamonzano: I have no idea what this show is but by the title, I’m going to assume that if it doesn’t get picked up for a 2nd season, the producers will be deep-fried and eaten.
Flipit: Wow. They hired a lot of girls who look like Carnie Wilson for this show. Pass! Besides, if we all weren’t sitting around watching Joe from Facts of Life run away from stalkers on Lifetime, we wouldn’t be fat in the first place. Suck it, Lifetime!
TVgasm Predicts: 100% until season pick up time, when it goes down to 40%.
OMG I’M DOING DISHES YOU GUYS! I’M A GOOD PERSON!
True Beauty on ABC at 10pm.
Chooch: This is the show where all the contestants think they’re in a beauty contest & the judges are looking for the phoneys. “Beauty comes from within” is their motto. I’m gonna throw up my donut.
Copyhacker: So it’s a show to make us shallow Americans feel less shallow? Irony, thy name is reality TV. Just give us hot chicks already.
PopPrincess: Isn’t Vanessa Manillo hosting this? You think they would find someone a little more au natural or with an ACTUAL PERSONALITY to host a show about inner-beauty. What, was Jessica Simspon not available?
HoneyGangsta: Everyone knows that the best way to feed starving orphans is to participate in a swimsuit competition. Good luck finding any phoneys – these girls are just here to do charity work!
Mones: If He is a benevolent God He will replace it with Lost re-runs by mid-season.
Cherie: Watching beautiful people be humiliated? Count me in!
Schoonie: Can’t ABC just show old episodes of “Cavemen” in place of this crap?
Flipit: No. No one wanted to watch Cavemen. Know why? Cuz they were ugly.
Biggest Loser Couple
Biggest Losers: Couples on NBC at 8pm.
HoneyGangsta: Fat couples? So everyone can get married except for me.
Chooch: I’m seeing a theme developing here. We all got fat over the holidays & now the networks are shoving it in our faces. Well, I’m not getting off the couch!
Schoonie: I’ve only ever seen bits and pieces of this show, but I’m told it’s like Survivor, except with fat people who get skinny. Well, that and there are douchier hosts and trainers, which I find hard to believe.
YentaPatrol: Would somebody please shove a crate of donuts down Jillian’s scrawny throat?
Monamonzano: I know I only have a masters in Calculus, but check this equation out: Fat couples + fat intercourse + an elliptical machine= awesome televison. Write that down.
Flipit: What’s the point of being in a relationship if you can’t be fat? This show is bad for love.
Mones: Watch as fed-up tubby couples fight to slim down. Celebrate when they realize they can get someone hotter and dump the fatty standing next to them!
Don’t worry, America. The Puerto Rican Squiggy is keeping us all safe.
Homeland Security USA on ABC at 8pm.
Chooch: This is a reality show where we, the viewer, get to watch what the HS does to keep us safe. Uhhmmm, isn’t that something we shouldn’t have for a TV show. I mean, just in case the bad guys are watching!!
Schoonie: All the terrorists are watching 24, so don’t even worry about it.
YentaPatrol: I so hope we get to see an episode featuring Brett Michaels and his Hos going through the JFK checkpoints.
HoneyGangsta: Won’t this just be footage of a bunch of white grandmas and toddlers getting strip searched at the airport?
Flipit: Someone’s trying to get a bottle of water onto the plane! GET HIM!!
TVgasm Predicts: 40% chance that this will make it a full year. We like to pretend that terrorism doesn’t exist in America.
Scrubs returns, but on a new netework, ABC, at 9pm.
Chooch: Do you know how sick I am of the promo with Turk farting & trying to blame it on the old dude?
Copyhacker: Finally John C. McGinley gets something to do other than make Miller Lite commercials. It’s been a long year without Dr. Cox.
HoneyGangsta: Why is it that a song about poo is the funniest thing in the world – especially with Broadway choreography? Another musical episode, please!
Monamonzano: God, who likes this show? Dumb and terrible. I hope it gets cancelled like…five years ago. Really, does anyone care?
TVgasm Predicts: 30%. No one watched in on NBC now suddenly they’re gonna care? Doubtful. Unless there are a lot of choreographed numbers about poo.
Primetime: What Would You Do? on ABC at 10pm.
Mones: I’ll do what I want!
Chooch: This program will ask us what we would do if we saw the bad guys doing bad things after watching the Homeland Security show.
MandaMo: See, this program worries me. Now I’m going to have to always be on my best behavior in fear of a hidden camera. Well, thanks, Primetime. Now I guess I actually have to act like a decent person.
Copyhacker: Can we get a crossover with this and “To Catch A Predator”? The possibilities are endless.
Flipit: These shows need to cut the crap. The other night I watched a 20/20 about a woman breast feeding an eight year old and almost threw up on myself.
Nip/Tuck returns on FX at 10pm.
Chooch: I wonder if they’ll bring back Rosie to tighten her ass up from that huge egg she laid on NBC.
Schoonie: God, can we not talk about Rosie?
Flipit: If Rosie’s out then I have nothing to say.
HoneyGangsta: I smell a Diet Tribe crossover!
PopPrincess: This is like the Passions of night time television. It jumped the shark with the whole Carver storyline. SHOULD be cancelled, but F/X will drain every drop of fat out of it possible. (get it? because its about plastic surgeons?)
Flipit: (head slap)
TVgasm Predicts: 20% this show will make it another season. We didn’t even know it was still on.
13: Fear is Real on the CW at 8pm.
Chooch: This is a competition reality show where whoever gets the shit scared out of them first is eliminated.
Schoonie: So, just like America’s Next Top Model then? BAM!
Copyhacker: Apparently fear is not a factor for these guys. Neither is ripping off ideas from other shows that wore out their welcome already.
Monamonzano: Only going on the title. I had a friend once who was pentecostal, and I think they had a book with this title on their bookshelf. Right next to Leaves of Grass. Kidding! Kidding! Two seasons!
HoneyGangsta: Do they just sit and watch Rock of Love?
MandaMo: I wonder if the contestants are forced to sign a waiver to allow themselves to get killed. Because from the commercials, it appears that they just start killing people.
The Real World: Brooklyn on MTV at 10pm.
Chooch: It’s the 21st season & they’re finally going back to New York.
HoneyG: So the Real World goes Bridge and Tunnel? I guess you can only fit so much class onto Manhattan.
Copyhacker: Brooklyn is the new Manhattan, right? Wake me up when they get to the Bronx.
Cherie: I can’t watch this show unless it has little cartoon characters and bubble thoughts.
Mones: So a Mormon, a Black chick, a transgender and a gay guy walk into a house…
Flipit: Best line so far from the teasers is “I don’t mean to sound ignorant, but I’m ignorant.” Chickbomb interviewed the cast and said they were very nice. And I’m very busy.
MandaMo: I’m hoping that with a tranny and a war veteran, RW will actually have some compelling storylines this season that don’t involve beautiful people in Abercrombie&Fitch clothing who get drunk and screw. Of course, I suppose that is better tv than the season where Puck would pick and eat his own boogers. My prediction is that this season might have the potential to be more interesting than crappy.
PopPrincess: I will watch and hate myself for it. I predict 50 more seasons. Our children will be watching Real World CMXII: Mars.
TVgasm Predicts: 100%. What PopPrincess said.
Did you hear something? No, did you? No. Wait I heard it! Did you? I think so. Wait I heard something. I swear.
Ghost Hunters International on SciFi at 8pm.
Mones: Even US ghost jobs are being outsourced now. Expect Indian ghosts to say “ma’am” a lot and get nervous when the Hunters veer too far from the script.
Flipit: Those bastards! This was my last chance to see Estelle Getty again!
TVgasm Predicts: 100% this show will come back next year. Mostly because people are suckers.
Damages returns on FX at 10pm.
Cherie: This show will probably be over looked but Glenn Close scares the shit out of me and I love the damn show. That means it will be canceled.
Schoonie: I’m not has high on this show as other people are, but Sheriff Bullock is joining the cast! How can you not watch?
Flipit: Just got a sneak peak at the first two episodes. Hokier than usual and I’m not sure how they’re going to make it as addictive as last year, but it’s still my favorite show and Glenn Close can make me curl up in the fetal position faster than my mom on boxed wine.
TVgasm Predicts: 40%. It’s really really good, but it was on the bubble last season, and it’s confusing as hell.
The Exterminators on A&E at 10:30pm. follows Billy Bretherton and his family who make up Vexcon, one of Louisiana’s busiest pest removal companies, as they balance family life with the drama of running a successful business together.
Cherie: This is just gross!
HoneyGangsta: Unless they exterminate Bret Michaels’ tour bus, I’m not interested.
Flipit: The dude in the picture looks like Evel Dick with a bleach job posing with his gd brat of a daughter again. I can’t take it.
Monamonzano: Will this show cure my raging case of crabs? If so I’ll watch.
YentaPatrol: This has the potential to be the best dating show ever!
pic via zimbio
Millionaire Matchmaker on BRAVO at 10pm.
Mones: Millionaire social retard seeking bossy draggish female to find them a mate.
Cherie: Wah wah I’m rich and lonely! Bite me.
YentaPatrol: Yay! Patty!! Nobody is better at pimping veteran sex workers to horny millionaires.
HoneyG: It’s pretty much a slave auction with head shots.
Schoonie: Isn’t this the second season of this? I actually had to sit through a couple of episodes because someone that I was, um…dating liked it. The things we do for, um…love?
Copyhacker: Combine this one with the Fear show and maybe I’ll watch it.
Dogsnaxx: Note to Patti… Take some diction lessons and you won’t have to spend all your time hooking other people up.
Howie Do It on NBC at 8pm.
Chooch: Howie wanted his own show & since NBC has run “Deal or No Deal” to death, they said okay. It’s kinda like “Candid Camera” but the cameras aren’t hidden. Howie’s allowed to do whatever he wants without touching anybody.
Mones: NBC, do you really think you can steal me away from the Ghost Whisperer’s David Conrad with Howie freakin’ Mandel?!? Carrot Top maybe.
Schoonie: Everytime I see this, I’m like “Okay, WHOSE IDEA WAS THIS?” the previews look like someone went “What is the exact opposite of funny?” and then they did just that. Deal or No Deal is not successful because of Howie Mandel, it’s successful because it’s the dumbest show on television.
Flipit: And it has lots of hot chicks who are also beautiful on the inside.
PopPrincess: The name “Howie Do It” makes me want to punch a baby. What’s his line going to be? “You’ve been Howie do’d!” or “That’s how howie does it!” I’m getting annoyed just writing this.
HoneyG: I just read that the theme song to this show is “This is How We Do It” by Montell Jordan. Playing that song will be the equivalent of Ashton running out with the cameras. I have to see that just once.
TVgasm predicts: 20% chance of success.
Monk returns to USA at 8pm.
Chooch: He’s the detective version of Howie.
Flipit: Man I wish the networks would just stop screwing around and bring back Murder, She Wrote.
TVgasm predicts: Rumors were this show was cancelled last season. Most likely this will be it’s last hoorah. 40% chance of making it through to next season.
24 on FOX has another four hour premier. It will finally land on Mondays on 1/19 & stay there.
Copyhacker: I haven’t watched the last 2-hour 24 yet. How does that work exactly? Does it go twelve times as fast as normal time so we cover a whole day in 2 hours? Also, that was the one where Jack tortured some people, saved the country and got sold to the terrorists in return, right? I’m guessing we’re in for more of the same.
Schoonie: I love how this show is always goes, “Excited for 24? Want to keep up all season? Well, here’s 4 hours over two nights! Eff your DVR!” Screw you and your conservative anti-hero right in the pants, Fox. (Also, fun drinking game for 24: Anytime anyone says the word “Schematics”, take a swig.)
Dogsnaxx: I predict a season with more twists and turns than the crotch-al shrubbery of a 70s porn star! Can’t wait to recap this for you guys!
Flipit: Had to quit watching at midpoint last season because I kept falling asleep. But then I watched the recent TV movie and didn’t know what the hell was going on which made me like it again. And Cherry Jones? HELL YES! Butchest President ever. I predict she will have at least one fight scene.
Kyle XY returns to ABCF at 9pm.
Chooch: A robot who wants to be a real boy, like Pinocchio.
Flipit: But really, really hot.
Monamonzano: A really really hot pre-pubescent boy without a belly button but still with ab definition. Clearly, this is a show I can watch with my five year old nieces.
Flipit: And me. We can bond.
TVgasm Predicts: 90%. Children have already been putting silly putty in their belly buttons for a season, and there’s no reason to think they will stop this year.
American Idol returns on FOX at 8pm.
Chooch: We have some new chick for a judge. Where will she sit?
Copyhacker: More importantly, what’s REALLY going to be inside her Coca-Cola (TM) cup?
Cherie: Wanna take bets on how long it’ll take Paula to scream “Where is God?”
Flipit: Cannot wait for this. Supposedly it’s gonna be awesome again. They’ve said that every year since 3, but at least they got rid of Idol Gives Back this time around so I won’t have to make more starving African children jokes. Wait. Actually that was kinda fun. Dammit.
TVgasm Predicts: 100% it will return, but there’s only a 45% chance that they can match their own high ratings from years past.
Dr. Drew’s Sober House on VH1.
Chooch: I just hope Gary Busey will be a “counselor” again.
Cherie: Watching crackheads climb on the roof with hamsters is very entertaining. And who doesn’t love Dr. Drew? Big hit.
Monamonzano: I saw Dr. Drew in the Vons on Vine and Melrose buying mineral water and grape soda. Clearly, the man and show are a mystery to me. Two seasons!
Mones: I hate myself for getting wrapped up in Celebrity Rehab, but how can any sane woman resist silver fox, Dr. Drew. So, I will follow him to Sober House. I will follow him wherever he may go. There isn’t a junkie in too deep, a has-been so high he can keep, keep me away!
MandaMo: Dr. Drew’s shows are far too painful to watch, and this one looks as though it could be the most painful of them all. But don’t get me wrong, I still watch them through my pain. Maybe they should have a rehab show for people who are addicted to rehab shows.
Friday Night Lights is back on NBC at 9pm after already airing this season on DirecTV. Last chance!
Schoonie: I cannot tell all of you enough, WATCH THIS SHOW. I don’t care if you saw the other two seasons, I don’t care if you don’t like football. If you do not watch this, I swear to God, I will hunt you DOWN.
Flipit: Anyone have anything else to add? Alrighty then moving on.
TVgasm Predicts: Schoonie likes it.
Battlestar Galactica on SciFi at 10pm. Final season part two.
Flipit: OMG I LOVE THIS SHOW!! LOVE IT! I predict Edward James Olmos will growl a lot and I will applaud.
Monamonzano: Are you kidding me? This show is shit. SHIT! HA! Even the posters are boring. And yes, I will probably have an angry mob of sci-fi geeks outside my door in about 3 seconds.
Flipit: I just slashed your tires, skank. Call the cops. I DARE YOU! No judge would convict me.
Schoonie: The final Cylon is Charlie Sheen. Oh, did I ruin that?
Flipit: You’re both just hilarious, ok? Hilarious.
TVgasm Predicts: It’s over, so not much to do on our end. We do predict, however that the final cylon will be the little kid Baltar saved. (highlight to read)
Big Love returns (finally) to HBO at 9pm.
Chooch: Bill is tryiing to snag wife #4. He better think about buying the neighbor’s house.
Cherie: I’ll keep watching just to see if Barb ever gets the stick removed from her ass. Hopefully Bill will take another wife and Barbs old ass head will explode.
Monamonzano: More gratuitous matrimonial fucking? Sounds good to me. All that dirty Mormon shit bores me, though. Two seasons!
Dogsnaxx: You know, I saw all that footage of the raids in Texas this year. I was kinda disappointed. All unibrows and bird’s nest hair…not a single Margie to be seen anywhere. I guess I can cross Polygamist Mormon off my “religions to experiment with” list.
Flipit: I know it’s irrational, but I’m mad that Bill kinda cheated on his wives. I will forgive and forget, but only if Nicki runs over someone’s refrigerator again.
MandaMo: My high school boyfriend was Mormon, and watching this show makes me glad that we broke up. That was one bullet closely dodged! I really wouldn’t fit into the Mormon community well, I love meth too much. Meth and monogamy, that is.
HoneyG: He’ll probably just end up marrying his oldest daughter. That would actually be quite realistic.
Flight of the Conchords returns to HBO at 10pm.
HoneyG: I can’t wait to see how the boys come back after even Mel deserted them for the Doggie Bounce. Wag your tail like you just can’t fail!
Dogsnaxx: Germaine and Brett are like my sweet, harmless, albeit slightly retarded neighbors down the hall. Love.this.show.
Copyhacker: I watch the songs on YouTube so I don’t have to bother watching the whole show.
Flipit: Well there’s a ringing endorsement if I’ve ever heard one.
TVgasm Predicts: 80% it will be back.
L-Word is back to SHOWTIME for it’s last season at 9pm.
Flipit: This show had an excellent first season and then went straight into the shitter. I was tempted to watch Cybil Shepard make out with chicks, but I just couldn’t do it.
Monamonzano: God, I’ve been watching and I’m dying to know….WHAT IS THE L WORD? Hopefully, they will tie up this major loose end for their final season.
The United States of Tara is on SHOWTIME at 10pm. A woman struggles to find a balance between her dissociative identity disorder and raising a dysfunctional family. Created by Steven Spielberg.
Chooch: The mom has multiple personalities & one is Larry the Cable guy.
Schoonie: And somehow, she’s funnier than Larry the Cable Guy.
Cherie: This is my fav! Who doesn’t like laughing at crazy people?
Flipit: At first I thought this was a reality show starring Tara Reid and I got psyched. Then I found out it’s actually a Toni Collette vehicle. Toni is an amazing actress, but I am kinda sad that she’s not Tara Reid.
MandaMo: I love, love Toni Collette, so I hope this show does her justice. But do you ever find yourself staring at her teeth? Like you think there is something wrong with them, but then when you look closer, there is strangely nothing wrong with them? What is going on there? They are like a trick mirror or something. My prediction is that I will continue staring at her mouth and still not figure out what looks weird.
TVgasm Predicts: 90% this one will make it to a second season and will be a hit by Showtime standards. Remember, this is the network that kept The L Word on the air for so long so it’s not a tough call. Also, you don’t wanna piss of Spielberg.
Secret Diary of a Call Girl returns to SHOWTIME at 10:30pm.
Chooch: Boobies on TV.
Monamonzano: Yawn fest punctuated by soft music and well defined abs. Aren’t call girls passe yet? Craigslist? Anyone?
Flipit: How is this show coming back?? People need to discover internet porn already. Jeeze.
HoneyG: I’ll just watch Millionaire Matchmaker. Or The Real World. Reality versions.
TVgasm predicts: That soft core porn addicts rule the world.
Paranormal State on A&E at 9pm.
Flipit: Oh for crying out loud.
MandaMo: I eat this show up with a spoon and then stay up all night long because I’m convinced that there’s a demon in my room. PARAnormal State makes me muy PARAnoid! But, let’s face it, it’s fun to be scared. And even though the Halloween special exorcism episode was almost laughably ridiculous, it still gave me an irrational fear of rape by ghost.
Chooch: House finally returns on FOX at 8pm & someone’s trying to steal Cuddy’s job. It’s that bitch they stuck in the ER this season.
Schoonie: More importantly, how will they continue to shove Thirteen in our faces constantly?
Mones: How long can Fox tease us before House and Cuddy finally do it!!! Lucky for them, I heart foreplay.
Copyhacker: Please, David Shore, kill off some actual cast members this season. There are about four too many. And that’s not even counting the stupid private detective.
PopPrincess; I am in an uproar that they moved House to Monday’s at 8pm because I am a firm believer that NPH and the How I Met Your Mother is one of the best things on TV, and its on Mondays at 8:30. What’s a girl to do when you don’t have a TiVo? It’s like choosing between saving your spouse or saving your child.
Flipit: I predict that my mother will continue to record every episode of this show and then try to bounce fancy medical terms about every time I tell her I have a cold.
TVgasm Predicts: 100% House will be over when House says he’s done, k?
LOST!!!!!!! on ABC is back on Wednesday nights at 9pm where it belongs.
Chooch: Bet Jack cries through the whole first episode.
Copyhacker: All I know is they better explain the four-toed statue and fast.
Monamonzano: Big bad lost is at it again. I predict more shitty dialogue with more loose ends and cryptic scene shifts. Yeah, I’m going to watch…but only for Locke. I want him to butcher SOMETHING….maybe Kate, though she’s a little lean. Oh, and, LOST fairies? I also want more Sayid naked. God bless.
Flipit: The biggest worry when this show was so awesome from the first episode was “do they actually have any idea where they’re going with this or are they just making shit up?” Ben turning a donkey wheel to make the entire island disappear points to the latter, but I will soak up every single episode like I always have. Who cares if they know what they’re doing? It’s good. And Sawyer takes off his shirt a lot.
TVgasm Predicts: Lost has already decided when to throw in the towel, so we just predict that we will continue to be in love with it and hope that it doesn’t suck.
For more a more detailed rundown of what’s going on in TV Listings, check out TV Patrol every day in Newsgasm. And thanks for being here!