How Much is That Model in the Window?

Project Runway

By EdHIll | Monday, January 16, 2006 | 5:02 pm | 50 Comments

01-11-06g.jpgWith sg-dubs recent sabbatical in order to finish his 4 volume novel on the history of the Russian monarchy, the task of taking over Project Runway has fallen to me, EdHill. Since this is one of my favorite shows I was eager to accept the challenge. I will, as Tim Gunn says so eloquently, “Make it workâ€?. So hopefully the recaps can remain funny and interesting and no one will notice that we switched Darren’s midstream. And I’m sure sg-dub will provide me with a few funny jokes here and there, like Carson did for Letterman.

Since last weeks recap was cut short, to refresh you’re memory the gang was given the task of DEE-signing a dress for a red hot socialite. The woman was none other than Nicky Hilton herself. You’ll remember her as the cuter sister of the other Hilton who likes to shoot videos of her polishing some dudes knob. When it came down to the judging Guadalupe lost because while her outfit was perfect for Tina Turner in Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome (Masterblaster rules Bartertown!), it didn’t work so well in rich pre-apocalyptic 2006 New York City. I personally preferred Nick’s dress with the low slung back but since Santino charmed Nicky so much at the cocktail party, Nicky went with him. If only Santino could work the soap as hard as he worked Nicky, I wouldn’t have to spend 5 minutes every week cleaning off the greasy film he leaves on my TV screen. And special thanks to commenter ceenee who said she thought Santino looks like he smells like friend onions. That still makes me laugh every time I see him onscreen.The episode this week starts with the ritual Santino ego trip. Since he was picked as the winner he is walking around the loft acting as if his shit don’t stink, which if true would be the only part of his body that doesn’t reek. He’s babbling on about how he is going to start designing everything for Nicky, blah, blah, blah. This is probably part mind games with the other people, and part Santino just being a natural dick.

01-11-06e.jpg
“These aren’t the droids you’re looking for..”

Next we have the group assembled before the dazzling Heidi Klum who is going to tell them about their next assignment. But first we have to eliminate a model. Tarah and Rachael (?) are on the chopping block and Santino decides to go with Tarah, because as he says “If there’s one thing I am its a loyal person”. Funny, If I had to choose what one thing Santino is, I would’ve gone with “smegmaish”.

Heidi then fills them in on their next project. They are going to DEE-sign a day/night dress for Banana Republic. Something, she says, that will truly reflect the “Banana Republic Woman”. To me the Banana Republic woman is someone who wanders the streets avoiding the guerilla soldiers with machetes. But I guess you can’t really design for that. And if you did it would be something that breathes when you run. Then I realized this was Banana Republic the store. And that’s a whole different thing.

This challenge will require each of them to mold their individual visions to a national brand. And they can only choose from the Banana Republic approved fabrics. So no frantic trip to Mood this week. They have to pick all the pre approved fabrics placed in front of them.

01-11-06h.jpgAfter a few minutes of frantic fabric grabbing (always a funny moment every week) the ever dapper Tim Gunn wanders in and drops a bomb on them. Everyone will be split into teams of 2 to work on one outfit. And they have to pick their partners….NOW! They all scramble to pick someone that they hope won’t suck. Unfortunately Marla picks Diana, which sucks because Marla is a waste of space and I don’t want her to drag my Dirty Diana down with her. To my delight the six foot 7 Emmett chooses 4’3 Chloe as her partner thus ensuring an hour of uninterrupted visual comedy watching them stand next to each other. Daniel V and Andrae choose each other and right out of the gate they tell us they are “thinking as one personâ€?. Could this lead to both of them crying like a 5 year old girl with a skinned knee on the runway? Only time will tell. Nick has the unfortunate task of being partnered with Santino, who right from the beginning begins to take over the entire project as if it’s all about him. Zulema gets paired with the emotionally fragile Barbie hat loving Kara with the hard to place accent. At first I was thinking Australian, but she sounded too much like the bad guy from Lethal Weapon 2 (“Diplomatic Immunity!”) so I’m gonna say she’s from South Africa. And lo and behold, I’m right.

As they all pair off and start to work on their initial ideas, Tim Interrupts them once again to drop yet another bomb. The losing team this week will both be eliminated. Kara and Zulema, who evidently have never seen a reality show in their lives, are stunned at the news. After Tim’s announcement he tells them “This is the classic make it work time” Woo hoo! You’ll have to excuse me I’m playing the “make it work” drinking game so from now on my typing may get sloppier.

Diana comes up with the idea of a pencil skirt. I have no idea what that is but a quick internet search reveals a pencil skirt to be a “Popular skirt shape cut from a straight block from hip to hem. Often knee length and worn with suit jackets�. For examples look here. This show teaches me something new every week. Marla however tells us that she doesn’t believe in the idea %100, but Marla is horrible and she plagiarizes other peoples stuff, so she can just go suck it.

Over on the other side of the studio Zulema is bitching about the Banana Republic fabric. She is sick of all the navy blue being used. Makes you hope for the irony if Old Navy is next weeks challenge. But then you would need to have really bad fabric and stitching to complete the “Old Navy” experience. That and fleece. Lots and lots of fleece.

Meanwhile Santino is once again talking all sorts of smack about people while he designs his newest monstrosity. This weeks complaint is Diana’s voice is driving him nuts. He calls it a high pitch squeal. Why can’t everyone have an annoyingly nasal whiny voice like he does? While working on his piece (it’s definitely his piece since he pretty much takes over from Nick from the get go) he say’s he thinks it needs more “flair”. Flair for Santino means burying the dress in tons and tons of ruffled crap. The man is a cake decorator in the wrong profession. He should be decorating a Fudgie the Whale instead of a supermodel.

While they are working we get another appearance by Tim Gunn. Tonight’s ensemble is a smart looking blue blazer with a matching pair of blue jeans. You would think this look was a little outdated, I’m thinking Jerry Seinfeld circa 1997, but dammit if Tim just doesn’t Make it work. Ahh crap. I said it. Time to drink.

Things seem to be going all right with his reviews (he loves the Chloe/Emmet and Daniel/Andrae pieces) until he stumbles across Marla and Diana. Ad you can tell it’s bad from the combination of the look on Tim’s face, and the sudden ominous “Tim thinks it sucks” theme music. “I don’t see it.” he says. He thinks they are way off the mark. “It’s just not working for meâ€?. Oh crap. Does that count? Do I have to drink to that? OK, I’ll do half a shot for that one. From what Tim said Diana and Marla decide to chuck the whole idea of a pencil skirt.

01-11-06a.jpg
Andrae shows Tim his accessories

Over at Zulema and Kara’s table we get a study in contrasts. Zulema is quite calm under pressure. Kara, who is mentally unstable, is not. When they are not confident in their design Kara turns on the waterworks and starts her weekly meltdown. This sends Zulema into her bitch mode, which we saw briefly in episode one where she demanded all of the closet space for her crap. “You can cry, but you gotta cry and cut. Don’t stop and cry.� She says to Kara, who is simultaneously blubbering and cutting fabric at the same time. If she was also chewing gum I think it’d be a record of some sort.

The next day when everyone comes down to the work space, Tim has yet another surprise for them. It’s time for a field trip! Yeah! But then I remembered last time their “field trip� was just a walk over to that weeks corporate sponsor Toys R’ Us. Why can’t they ever go someplace fun for a field trip like bumper cars or the Bronx Zoo?

Well before you know it they all, including the models I might add, walk through the streets until they stop at, surprise surprise, the Banana Republic store. After Tim introduces us to the Banana Republic corporate whore who then rattles off an in show commercial for Banana Republic, we find out what the next part of the challenge will be. Each team will be responsible for creating their own window display using their models as mannequins and they will be judged based on feedback from passing customers who are going to be filling out cards selecting which window they liked best. This reminds me of one of my favorite movies, Mannequin 2: On the Move. Ahh Meshach Taylor, you are an overlooked genius.

01-11-06b.jpg
I may be going out on a limb here, but I think Andrae is gay

With That Tim gives them all some money and they are off to the craft store to buy supplies for their installation. Diana goes with a classroom setting and starts buying desk supplies. Marla, as usual, hates it. Maybe they should have gone with Marla’s idea which was…Oh wait, Marla didn’t come up with ANYTHING. Unfortunately Marla is actually right about the idea sucking as Tim takes a gander and gives them that look that has crushed many a heart. Diana’s whole concept turns out to be just a pile of crumpled up paper on the floor. Not exactly a creative masterstroke.

01-11-06i.jpgBut across the way Santino and Nick aren’t doing much better. Their concept is their model is working in an “art gallery”. And their vision of an art gallery is to have a huge wall with brown paper bags all over it and a message smeared on it by what must be a mental patient. This whole spectacle earns a “P.U.â€? from Tim, which is probably the only swear word he knows.

Chloe and Emmett go with a nice simple white background with Emmett’s drawings of the actual dress behind it. Nothing cool like Unicorns or Spiderman, but just drawings of the model. Ho hum. But Tim says that he thinks it is “more fabulous than I can say.� And Tim is never wrong.

Daniel V and Andrae’s window is also pretty simple. Two different clocks showing night and day so they can have the model move from one end to the other showcasing the outfits day and night looks.

Kara and Zulema have done a Diptych also showing day and night and have the model switch the jacket from its day version inside out to show the night version. Unfortunately their day and night imagery is simply construction paper cut outs of the moon and a skyline making it look like a third grade arts and crafts product. I even thought I saw a hand traced turkey in there somewhere. What would really make this whole diptych (I like writing that word) transformation work perfectly is if they also had the model wear Freezy Freakies gloves, and let the window space go from warm to cold and watch the magic happen.

After the reviews are in we see that Santino is still unable to come to grips with his suckitude when we hear him say “I didn’t see one ballot with a five on it. I don’t even think that’s possible, but whatever.� I think the correct pronunciation Santino is “WHAT-everrrrr�. Puhlease. Like, its so obvies.

Time for the runway show. Heidi’s wearing a lipstick that I would describe as “whore red” but damn if Heidi doesn’t pull it off. She “makes it workâ€? so to speak. Time to bring out the DEE-signers. One of the funny things that happens when the models come out is we get to hear the voiceovers of the designers all talking about how they think their dress is great. Not one of them simply says “yeah, my dress looked like a big flowing turd. I’m definitely going home tonight.”

The judges immediately detect the last minuteness to Kara and Zulema’s dress. They don’t think it works with the jacket. Michael Kors compares it to an “80s power bitch moo glare jacket�. At this point I say to myself “What the f is a moo glare jacket? Once again with the handy dandy internet I go to my trusty google and found out he was referring to the designer Thierry Mugler who was popular in the eighties with those padded dominatrix looking jackets. Now I see what he’s talking about. Oh, spot on Michael. Spot on. See how this show just teaches you new things?

Diana and Marla are up next. It’s not pretty. Kors think she looks like a stewardess, and the Banana Republic Lady thinks it doesn’t look modern enough. Not too mention its puke gray and covers up her entire body.

Chloe and Emmetts is another hit with the judges. The only problem is Kors thinks it looks a little too Bergdorf’s. I actually thought it looked a little too Marshalls, but that’s why I’m a silly blogger and he’s a fashion designer. Still, my Freazy Freakies idea is f’in brilliant.

01-11-06c.jpgSantino and Nicks dress is another one that goes over like a lead balloon. Santino has this image of her being some fancy pants owner of an art gallery. Nina Garcia says its yet another Santino dress that needs to be edited “yet againâ€?. Michael Kors smells an opportunity to show off and he doesn’t hesitate to pounce. “I know the most powerful women in the art world. They are my customers. And they wouldn’t walk into galleries dressed like that.” Well la de freaking da Mr. Kors. I know some of the most powerful people in the blogging world but you don’t see me walking around the streets telling everyone. I’m humble that way. Santino responds with this by getting all defensive and whiny. “Well your customers are older. And a lot of Banana Republic customers don’t know Michael Kors.” He says. Meow, bitch.

With that they send them away and its deliberation time. Chloe and Emmett and Daniel and Andrae are the clear favorites, and the rest they are not that happy with at all. Diana and Marla’s wasn’t “women friendly� and its too flat. Santino is over designed and he’s trying too hard.

When they bring them back they declare Andrae and Daniel the winners. Emmett and Chloe are EEN, and are allowed to leave the runway. Kara and Zulema are also in by the skin of their teeth, and you can tell my their reaction when Heidi reads their names. Lots of hands over the mouths and hushed “Oh thank you, thank you’s”

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I want to see them have sex for the comedic value alone

So now its down to Diana and Marla and Santino and Nick. Diana and Marla’s dress is “Dull and cliché, and it didn’t work for day or night.� And Santino and Nick’s “Was over designed, and they didn’t think about the Banana Republic woman�.

And the losers are….. Diana and Marla. Damn. That idiot Marla took out my Dirty Diana. sg-dub and I both had her picked from the beginning. I feel like a piece of me died when she walked off stage. No more will we hear her mousy voice, or see her upper lip never move when she talks. But I guess if I had to choose between losing Diana and Santino, I’d have to go with Diana. Santino is the kind of reality contestant you love to hate.

So what did everyone else think? Are you as sad as I am that Diana s gone? Or are you just happy for another week of Santino?

About

50 Comments

  1. 1
    The_Svan
    Posted January 16, 2006 at 5:51 pm

    Santino deserves far better from the judges. They are bitches, plain and simple.

    Final three will be:

    Chloe
    Daniel V
    Nick

    You heard it here first.

  2. 2
    Lizardqueen
    Posted January 16, 2006 at 6:06 pm

    As always EdHill, worth every penny. Every single one. You are a ROCK KICKING titan.
    Poor Diana! I feel bad hating on Marla (I think she reminds me of someone’s nice mom), but Christ woman, what the devil are you doing on Project Runway with your zero ideas? Their outfit was the most boring for sure. And wrinkled. Don’t they have an iron in the studio?
    Most of these outfits were yawners. Even the winner reminded me of “The Love Boat, promises some-thang fo’ evray-one-un”. It had an 80′s cruise director thing going on. Cute, but eh. I did like the Emmett and Chloe. Too Bergdorf? They used Banana Republics allotted fabrics and made a very believeable work to nightlife creation. Where’s the problem?
    Santino, that blowhard, what a piece of work. In his defense he said his Asian theme was forward thinking for the Banana. They gave him so much shit about it. Then several months later the Banana did a bunch of Geisha inspired Asian looking clothes! (If you Google “Banana Republic Geisha” you can see that he wasn’t that off). But anyway he is the scoundrel I love to hate. He could make clothes out of skunk fur and they’d keep him around just for the good of the show.
    I liked the dress Zulema and the menstruater made. I thought the jacket was cute. But I’m no Michael Kors.
    I’m sorry to say that Heidi’s dirty whore lipstick and the rest of her makeup really aged her. Her mouth looked all crooked like a crazy grandmother. Hope she goes back to something less severe.

  3. 3
    kromer
    Posted January 16, 2006 at 6:50 pm

    here’s a little something to get you ready for American Idol season 5!

    http://www.artistdirect.com/nad/music/artist/card/0,,2518599,00.html

  4. 4
    TinkerbellAPixie
    Posted January 16, 2006 at 6:59 pm

    Santino responds with this by getting all defensive and whiny. “Well your customers are older. And a lot of Banana Republic customers don’t know Michael Kors.” I honestly thought those words would be Santino’s undoing. To so blatantly insult the judge takes gigantic cajones. (probably fried onion flavored ones) ick!

    Loved the freaky freezies comments.. You slay me Ed.

  5. 5
    Sherlock
    Posted January 16, 2006 at 7:27 pm

    Yea for Project Runway and American Idol 5! Diana will be missed, but I’m not sure she even would’ve made my top 5. I definitely believe it’ll be Chloe, Daniel, and Nick in the final three, and deservedly so. The picture/caption combos were particularly brilliant, EdHill.

  6. 6
    fycin
    Posted January 16, 2006 at 8:12 pm

    omg, “the menstruater”!!! That was perfect. You’re totally right, she has that pasty, no-makeup, giant maxi-pad wearing look. Or maybe you were just referring to the crying.

    I wasn’t really sad Diana left. Part of me wanted to root for her because she was goofy and scientific, but I kind of thought she looked like she smelled too. Like mushrooms or something.

    Santino is an ass, but certainly a watchable ass. And I liked his Nicky Hilton dress a lot.

  7. 7
    Lisa
    Posted January 16, 2006 at 8:58 pm

    “Marla however tells us that she doesn’t believe in the idea %100, but Marla is horrible and she plagiarizes other peoples stuff, so she can just go suck it.”

    awesome recap. can i be a pain and request more screen caps of the final products next time? i don’t get Bravo and i cry myself to sleep every night as a result.

  8. 8
    charlene
    Posted January 16, 2006 at 9:40 pm

    Santino’s model is actually Heather, not Tarah. In this episode, he decided to stay with his model, Heather.

  9. 9
    chronic
    Posted January 16, 2006 at 9:51 pm

    OK, this show isn’t available where I live (or at least not on my pathetic cable line-up), just thought I’d have a look-see at the recap as it seems like it would be a show rife with stupidity, quickly skimmed through the re-cap, and saw that Star Wars screencap…..

    LMAO, that’s wicked funny, EdHill!

  10. 10
    ooda
    Posted January 16, 2006 at 10:14 pm

    A month ago, I didn’t know this show existed. Now it’s my favorite show, and something I get excited for every week.

    For some reason, I had supported Diana from the beginning. I don’t know why, maybe it’s the “root for the underdog” thing, or the gap between her two front teeth.

    Though as time went on, she started to annoy me a bit, but she should have had at least one more week. It really should have been that hack Marla that went this week.

    Andre and Daniel were the right winners for this one. Emmett and Chloe’s was also good, but for the at least, the jacket was a bit too…what’s the right metaphor… Dynasty for my liking. Kara and Zulema pulled it off pretty well, and Nick and Santino’s was decent, but ruined by the style of the jacket.

    Santino is a great example that if you’re going to wear your hair long, at least get some decent hair plugs.

  11. 11
    ooda
    Posted January 16, 2006 at 10:21 pm

    Oh, and from memory I think it was mentioned once that Zulema’s accent was Zimbabwean.

  12. 12
    ceenee
    Posted January 16, 2006 at 11:15 pm

    Re: “…but she sounded too much like the bad guy from Lethal Weapon 2 (“Diplomatic Immunity!”) so I’m gonna say she’s from South Africa. And lo and behold, I’m right.”

    I know, I keep waiting for her to tell Zulema, “But–you’re BLICK!” and for Zulema to reply, “Free South Africa, you dumb sonuvaBITCH!!!”

    And thanks for the shout-out EdHill, let’s be thankful we don’t have smell-o-vision! *smooches*

  13. 13
    ATCmurph
    Posted January 17, 2006 at 12:51 am

    Did you see the looks on some of their faces when they found out they were designing for Banana Republic? It was as though someone told them to go sit in a pile of garbage. These people think their shit doesn’t smell, and places like Banana Republic are beneath them. I have no personal thoughts about the place…in fact, fashion has no allure for me, but this is good TV, and I’ll tune in every week to see which prima donna is the next to have a meltdown

  14. 14
    holyterror
    Posted January 17, 2006 at 5:34 am

    fycin (#6): I think Diana probably smells like a dirty aquarium — kinda like algae and sick fish.

    LQ: I’m with you on the iron. I also think Diana can’t sew, like Tim pointed out last week, and that’s some of what makes her stuff look pinched and wrinkly (like MARLA! Heh heh!).

    Does anyone remember when Ba-NON-uh Republic actually sold cartoony Daktari outfits, all in khaki and olive? It was not so long ago. I think they even had a jeep coming through the front window. (On a similar note, I always thought The Kennedy Museum in Boston should have a car going through the window — get it?? Chappaquiddick???) Okay, that’s a bit off topic …

  15. 15
    holyterror
    Posted January 17, 2006 at 5:38 am

    P.S. That was nice of Daniel V. to go over and kiss Kara’s snot-covered, flushed, puffy,tear-streaked face.

  16. 16
    jelodi97
    Posted January 17, 2006 at 6:10 am

    I believe that Diana and Marla were out not because OnionPits and Nick did a better job, but because overall, they are better designers than Diana and Marla, and the judges knew it. D & M had the very serious problem of not being able to construct clothing very well, and their designs were either too far-fetched (Diana) or downright dowdy (Marla) to work.

    That being said, I’m bummed about Diana being gone. And I just abhor OnionPits Santino. He looked like a scary, crank-smokin’ hobo with his hoody on. “Stabbin’ people with mah hobo kniife”.

  17. 17
    g-child
    Posted January 17, 2006 at 6:44 am

    Has anyone else noticed this..When Santino isn’t wearing a hat he looks like Jafar from Aladin, when he pretended to be the old man in the dungeon and made Aladin go to the cae of wonders. That’s all I can think of when I look at him.

  18. 18
    KatiesHole
    Posted January 17, 2006 at 7:34 am

    Does anyone else hate ZuScary? I find her work banal and tired. She also frightens me.

    Had Santino not been with Nick, he would of been off the show.

    Right from the start whoever hooked up with that Marla was a goner. The judges wanted her pajama wearing ass off that runway, like 2 weeks ago.

    No cooter mentions EdHill? I’m shocked!

    KH

  19. 19
    Krizzatch
    Posted January 17, 2006 at 8:51 am

    G-Child #17,
    Hilarious. I think Santino kind of talks like Jafar too, “You’ve heard of the golden rule haven’t you… whoever has the gold makes the rules….”
    I’m now referring to Santino as Jafar – and Nick is Iago, his parrot.

  20. 20
    jelodi97
    Posted January 17, 2006 at 9:56 am

    Holyterror-
    I remember when BR sent me their first catalog. It had no color, about 60 pages or so and looked like it came from someone’s house. They had all kinds of warm-weather gear for the intrepid Africa-vacationing traveler. It was cool and only slightly pretentious. I always wanted to order from it, but since it was the 80′s and I was in high school making $3.25 an hour part-time, I couldn’t afford anything from it. In fact I think it was started by some husband and wife (I could be mistaken). I’m not sure when they officially went corporate and over into blandsville.

  21. 21
    jenny10girl
    Posted January 17, 2006 at 10:19 am

    Well in Santino’s defense, I hated Diana’s voice too…it was like nails on a chalkboard to me and when she spoke for a long period of time, I had to mute my TV. I still think Santino is a great designer regardless of everyone’s hatred on here. Although I don’t think he’ll win, I’m still routing for him. :o )

  22. 22
    mojoest
    Posted January 17, 2006 at 11:04 am

    “Funny, If I had to choose what one thing Santino is, I would’ve gone with “smegmaish”.”
    Disgusting, hilarious and apropriate. Who knew smegma could be all these things??? Glad to have you recapping this show!!!

  23. 23
    noodle
    Posted January 17, 2006 at 11:21 am

    wait, wasn’t this the episode with Santino singing to Andrae in the kitchen…”lighten up its just faaashion”? that was awesome! Santino reminded me of Satan in that South Park movie when he was singing. Even though Santino is a dick, he totally entertains me.
    I think Daniel V. is great, and I also like Emmett for some reason, and Zulema seems to be really talented.
    Whoever said Santino only stayed because of Nick was right on! That comment about Kors, I was thinking, oh no you didn’t. Anyone who knows fashion has heard of Michael Kors you unit!

  24. 24
    livemusicjunkie
    Posted January 17, 2006 at 11:39 am

    I’m so hooked on this show, I can’t believe it. I can’t stand Santino himslef, but as a designer he seems to be hit and miss. It’s funny. One week I’ll like his stuff, the next I won’t. I liked his dress for Nicky, but WAY preferred Nick’s dress.

    Did anyone else see that they are auctioning off the final products from each week? I just discovered it myself; although I’m not sure what “average joe/jane” could fit into those things since they’re designed specifically for those models.

    Anyway, glad to see Marla gone – and couldn’t care less that Diana is gone.

  25. 25
    livemusicjunkie
    Posted January 17, 2006 at 11:57 am

    P.S. I’d like to add that I went to the BR site and $268 seems a little high for that dress. It doens’t impress me.

  26. 26
    livemusicjunkie
    Posted January 17, 2006 at 11:58 am

    and neither does my spelling…sorry – meant to type: doesn’t impress me.

  27. 27
    Amy1116
    Posted January 17, 2006 at 12:29 pm

    What was up with Santino’s hood when he was talking. Come on this guy can’t be more into himself.

    I love Nick and think him, Chloe, and Santino will be final 3 (Santino for the drama, just like Wendy Pepper last season), but Daniel may also be in.

    $268 for that dress. I sure can’t afford. I liked Zulemas dress better anyway.

  28. 28
    Lizardqueen
    Posted January 17, 2006 at 1:00 pm

    I am down with Katieshole’s summation. Around here we call her “The Insipid Zulema”. The fact that she lived to see another day after that “I’m gonna stretch out this ugly ass sweater and yank on several of the pulls and call it a dress” blunder is amazing. Or else it’s further testimony suggesting the producers keep personality types around for a more exciting show. “You can cry, but you gotta cry and cut. Don’t stop and cry.â€? Harsh and abrasive, but also great television.

  29. 29
    Aries
    Posted January 17, 2006 at 1:17 pm

    The only thing that scares me about Zulema is her hair. There’s a little thing called Dark n’ Lovely Zulema, you should try some. Except for her awesome “you better cry n’ cut” comments, I thought she was the usual talky, self-important, mediocre skilled character we always see. At least she had the sense to realize nothing was going to get accomplished by falling down and crying like Kara did. Thanks to Zulema’s making it work (drink!), they pulled ahead of Santino/Nick and Diana/Marla. Okay, so it might have not been that hard, but still…

    I was kind of sorry to see Diana go, but when she started talking about putting the zipper and buttons on the same side of the pencil skirt, I knew her time had come. The divorce of fashion and math was as inevitable as Brad P.’s and Jennifer A.’s once Brad met Angelina J. Plus I knew it was over once Diana paired with Copycat Marla, who was probably in the judges’ crosshairs anyway after last week. Did anyone notice Tim’s face when he walked towards them to critique their work? One would think he was going to the dentist to have nine root canals performed. He was probably happy to have the double elimination, killing two birds with one stone and all that.

  30. 30
    beckylooo
    Posted January 17, 2006 at 2:08 pm

    Is it just me, or is it totally obvious daniel and andrea are screwing? Check out the moment backstage after the runway show where daniel lovingly and gently touches andrea’s thigh. Cue chirping birds and airy woodwinds.

  31. 31
    Leah3t
    Posted January 17, 2006 at 4:00 pm

    Zulema thinks she can fool us into mistaking loudness for talent.

    And I hear you Aries. If not dark and lovely, can we at least get her a little afro-sheen? or nu nile? or dudley q’s?

  32. 32
    KatiesHole
    Posted January 17, 2006 at 4:20 pm

    ZuScary = loud self important frizzy headed train wreck. Get rid of her.

    I can’t find the outfit on the BR site, anyone got a link?

    KH

  33. 33
    Amy1116
    Posted January 17, 2006 at 4:32 pm

    Here you go :)

    http://www.bananarepublic.com/browse/product.do?cid=5023&pid=386890

  34. 34
    ooda
    Posted January 17, 2006 at 5:00 pm

    #28 – Yeah, she’s really got the crazy black woman look going on. As of yet her ego hasn’t matched her designs.

  35. 35
    scorpiella
    Posted January 17, 2006 at 5:52 pm

    “Andrae shows Tim his accessories.” GOLD!
    I have hated Zulema since the first episode when she got all diva about sharing the closet but I think she hasn’t been eliminated yet because someone else has always sucked just a little bit harder than her. Her time will definitely come.
    Until this last week, I would have sworn the final three would be Santino, Nick and Chloe but I think the judges are getting tired of Santino’s over frilly designs and out of control ego. I would now like to switch to the popular vote of Nick, Chloe and Daniel V. for the final three.

  36. 36
    holyterror
    Posted January 17, 2006 at 7:16 pm

    Santino’s voice is easily as irritating as Diana’s. And he always appears in one of my pet peeves — an ENSEMBLE.

    Jelodi97 (#20): That’s how I always thought of BR, and so it really surprised me last season (and this season) when they were talking about appealing to the “Banana Republic Woman” — you mean the wife of that guy on “Crocodile Diaries” on Animal Planet? No arrogant “colors” or vain “fitted garments” here!

    Funny part is, they actually used to have a store on Bleecker Street in the West Village — now Marc Jacobs Central. But you walked in and it looked like everything was made of feed sacks. My brother and I once went in there stoned and got thrown out for laughing at the mosquito-veil hats.

  37. 37
    holyterror
    Posted January 17, 2006 at 7:23 pm

    Didn’t the dress for which Daniel and Andrae won look very much like the one for which (crazy-ass) Starr was pilloried in the same challenge last season? They were both black, drop-waisted, flapper-era dresses.

  38. 38
    jelodi97
    Posted January 18, 2006 at 5:15 am

    The “Banana Republic Woman” is a woman who foolishly pays 4x as much for the same stuff that is sold at both Gap and Old Navy. I just don’t think that their “styles” are anything remarkable or interesting. I just go to Ann Taylor. Still nothing way crazy, but fitted and constructed better than BR.

    Wish I coulda laughed at a mosquito-veiled hat. I wonder if Survivorman needs one.

  39. 39
    serenasixfeetunder
    Posted January 18, 2006 at 5:22 am

    I must admit, I was a little nervous about the change in the line-up on the recap, but then I saw “these are not the droids you are looking for…” my apprehension disapeared! I think that SG Dub and EdHill are even better than actually watching. Oh, and LOVE the pictures chosen for this weeks recaps! Sorry, nothing funny to add, just props…

  40. 40
    Lizardqueen
    Posted January 18, 2006 at 5:52 am

    The crap I saw at the BR website put me to sleep. Talk about banal! Perhaps Zulema and some of the other tired desingers could get a job working for them. At least Old Sweatshop has those flashy commercials with Morgan Fairchild et al. and the insanity causing song lyrics that can torture for hours on end “Just bust a tunic!!!” It is as bad as “The tender crisp bacon cheddar ranch.”
    And now I would like to let the ladies and transvestites in on my little secret. Because I’m not that girl who pretends to be your friend but doesn’t tell you when you have spinach between your front teeth. I get all of my nicest clothes at nordstrom.com. Their sale rack is incredible. 50% off or more. I may be pov but I like nice garments. I may spend most of my time dressed like the man who cuts your grass. But baby, when I go out, I wannna GO OUT! Now just don’t go buying up everything in my size or I’m going to be irate.

  41. 41
    TinkerbellAPixie
    Posted January 18, 2006 at 5:59 am

    I got a little curious and went to the Banana Republic site to see how they are marketing the winning ensemble – and couldn’t find it anywhere. You’d think now after that episode aired they would have it splashed across the front page. Odd.

  42. 42
    Lizardqueen
    Posted January 18, 2006 at 6:14 am

    Desingers. It’s like they unsing. Nice.

  43. 43
    jelodi97
    Posted January 18, 2006 at 6:43 am

    Lizardqueen-
    My supa-fave bargain store is actually Neiman Marcus Last Call. Unfortunately I’ve moved to a place where one is not nearby. I used to be right down the street from the NMLC in Austin and the stuff/prices would make you cream your jeans. You know, a $280 cashmere DKNY sweater for $20. The sad thing is, the retailer/design house is still making a profit on that $20 sale.

  44. 44
    hardly@work
    Posted January 18, 2006 at 9:01 am

    the droids comment was priceless

    santino/gargamel’s song and dance routine around andrae was priceless it has benn in my head all week…

    final three? daniel, nick and chloe, eventhough i’d like to see santino stick around, i think he has pissed off the judges

    i loved heidi’s lipstick anyone know who makes it?

  45. 45
    dith
    Posted January 18, 2006 at 9:50 am

    Nice recap, I LOVE the fried onions/schmegma comments. Completely gross and hysterical.

    My one beef: please master your use of apostrophes. You’re means “you are.” “Dudes knob” should be “dude’s knob.”
    That is all, thank you.

  46. 46
    Tati
    Posted January 18, 2006 at 11:26 am

    Santino w/ his hood on conjured up images of Jesus & Osama all at once. & whn he was dancing around Andre, some1 said he reminded them of ‘Gargamel’ or Satan in South Park—very right on!

    i agree, Santino makin fun of Di’s voice—whu?? he should croak, i mean talk. i must confess, i too found her voice irritating, very childish-sounding for a w’m of 22.

    i don’t find Zulema’s des. v appealing, altho I admire the way she helped save thr crappy design 4 ths challenge.

    BR is currently selling an obi-styled dress so I don’t thnk Santino’s des. was that off the mark 4 ths challenge. (i disagreed w/ the combo of color styles tho—blue & blk—a no-no in fashion, I thot?) I wish Nick hadn’t had 2 end up w/ him, he’s 2 sweet.

  47. 47
    Big Jay
    Posted January 18, 2006 at 1:25 pm

    I think we should rename Santino as Garamel and Nick as his cat Azrael.

  48. 48
    Lula
    Posted January 18, 2006 at 6:25 pm

    Please people…yes Zulema is abrasive, but her talent far surpasses Marla, Emmett and Andrae’s. They all need(ed) to go before she does/did. Andrae was lucky to ride Daniel V.’s coattails to last week’s win. Marla couldn’t creatively think her way out of a paper bag, and Emmett should stick to menswear. It was all Chloe all the time last week.

    My love for Santino began and ended with the first episode. Each week he offends another cast member or one of the judges, which makes for good tv.

    I still see him, Nick and Chloe in the final three. Santino is obviously talented; however, as the judges noted, he needs to learn to edit his outfits, and while he’s at it his comments.

    CeeNee loved the post. Hilarious!

  49. 49
    hardly@work
    Posted January 19, 2006 at 6:26 am

    oh i had forgotten the name of gargamel’s cat, that is just perfect!

    don’t want to spoil anything before teh new post, but chloe is very underrated, it is time she wins a challenge!

  50. 50
    emiluv07
    Posted January 19, 2006 at 6:38 pm

    PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE notice just how much Santino looks like Rasputan from the movie Anastasia!!!

    Every time I see him I think about that!

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