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Friday, January 20, 2006
11:31 am
53 Comments
It’s gonna be a tough recap for me on this week’s Project Runway. I’m still bummed about the tragic loss of Dirty Diana last week. Not only was she mine and sg-dub’s pick from the beginning, but she got booted in the most unfair way imaginable because she was paired with that idiot Marla. So it was with a heavy heart that I watched last night’s episode. But before long I was back into the swing of things. Because there’s nothing that makes the hurt of a lost love go away faster than gay men skating. Or was that alcohol? Wait, yeah. Definitely alcohol.
This week we get yet another guest star, and unlike Nicky Hilton, this one actually has a job. And she’s good at it too. It’s ice skater Sasha Cohen. For the men reading this, “ice skating� is the stuff they put on ESPN during the football playoffs when all the games are on the network channels. That and swamp racing.
The episode starts with Tim bringing them all on another field trip. This time they are going to an ice rink. And lo and behold there is national ice skating champion and certifiable cutie pie Sasha Cohen! Once Nick saw Sasha he had the biggest mangasm I’ve ever seen. The look on his face outgayed Andrae, and that’s a high bar to overcome. This week’s challenge is to design an ice skating outfit for Sasha. While Nick is busy wiping up the puddle he just made, Tim asks Sasha what things to keep in mind when designing an ice skater’s outfit. She gives us a list of do’s and don’ts that include stretch fabrics like Lycra and to make sure they have good elasticity so her “panties stay on.â€? I spent five minutes deciding on which joke to go with on that one until I decided I’ll just list them all and let the reader decide.
A. If you need an answer on how best to keep a girl’s panties on, there’s no better place to turn then Nick, Andrae, Emmett, and Tim.
B. Then Tim hands her a copy of “The Big Book of Venereal Disease�. Mission accomplished.
C. At which point Heidi Klum was heard mumbling, “Wish I had that clothing feature before Seal impregnated me with this lizard baby.â€?
D. Gee. Sasha Cohen soliciting new ideas for a chastity belt. Stereotype = proven.
I spy with my little eye…
But before we can be given our challenge we have to make an offering to the reality TV show gods. And that means everyone has to skate around awkwardly so we can film it. Tim doesn’t do well on skates. I mean yeah, he looks fantastic, but that’s just Tim; he’d look great taking a dump (not that I’ve ever thought about that). But as bad a skater as Tim is he’s nothing next to Kara, who’s falling down all over the place. I guess skating isn’t big in South Africa what with all the deserts and poverty and years and years of institutionalized racism.
Because the show just wasn’t gay enough
After a few minutes of this, Sasha interrupts them and says they should all finish their session by doing a choo choo. This made Santino’s eyes light up because he thought that meant they were all going up to the loft to do some coke. He was bitterly disappointed when he found out that what she really meant was she just wanted to do a cute skating train. Like every bad wedding you’ve ever been to, only 40 degrees colder. What followed next was a bunch of gay men grabbing each other from behind and skating all over the rink. I’d make a Brokeback Mountain joke right now but I’m only allowed one of those a week, since the whole “Brokeback Mountain joke� thing is rapidly jumping the shark. Pretty soon you’ll see one on Mind of Mencia and that is the official comedy graveyard where jokes go to die. And don’t cry for Santino, he was able to turn lemons into lemonade when he started to pull down Emmett’s pants during the train. I guess it was the “grabbing a guy by the hips from behind� thing that just made nature take over.
KNEEL before Zod!
From there we go to get our fabrics. For this challenge they have only a 150 dollar budget and very limited time to pick out fabrics. Then Tim drops another one of his bombs (we should call them “Tim’s turds� maybe?). When they go shopping they can’t change out of their skating outfits! OH SNAP! No you d’int! Yeah that’s right, he went there. But then I realized that these people dress in the freakiest outfits already so it becomes kind of a pointless exercise. Some funny highlights include Zulema wearing makeup on her face that makes her look like Wesley Snipes in Too Wong Fu, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar. Emmett is wearing a hot pink shirt with ruffled arms. But the real coup de grace of his shirt is its form fitting nature. You see, Emmett has man tits. And you haven’t lived until you’ve seen man tits through a tight-fitting hot pink shirt. Well actually you probably have, but I needed to make myself feel better for having seen them and that was the best I could come up with. And I haven’t even mentioned his muffin tops yet.
Does this make me look fat?
When they get to the store they all spread out dressed like Tinkerbell, except for Santino rocking the Russian czar look, and start buying their supplies. They end up spending most of their budgets on nothing but sequins and trim. In other words, Santino’s wet dream. At one point I could have sworn one of them bought elbow macaroni and glue. Daniel V puts it best when he tells us “I love trim.� So do I my friend, so do I.
Back at the studio Emmett is having trouble. Being a menswear designer, he is completely clueless in designing an ice skating costume. All his experience in the fashion world is with men’s suits designed to cover up male gunt. He is so lost in fact he asks kooky Kara for help. I’m constantly amazed this woman isn’t wandering the streets of NYC with a dead cat in one hand and eating gravel with the other, so going to her about fashion advice is proof of Emmett’s dire situation. On the other side of the studio Santino is having his weekly smack talk session. With the beautiful and enigmatic Dirty Diana taken out last week by being partnered with the untalented hack Marla, he’s moved onto his next target. Kara. Granted this is an easier target. The woman had an entire Toys R Us store shut down for an hour to find a Barbie hat. The woman is one nervous breakdown away from eating her own feces. Santino is annoyed that Kara keeps asking everyone else’s opinion. In a convenient parallel we then hear everyone talking about how Santino’s outfit is a huge mess. And Santino being the ego trip that he is refuses to ask anyone’s opinion. The end result is an outfit that looks like a pile of rotting leaves.
In Emmett land he’s complaining about the fact that he can’t sew. This makes me wonder aloud whether or not he saw the first season of the show where every single one of the contestants spent endless hours sitting in front of a sewing machine. What did he expect to be doing when he got here, will the fabric together?
It turns out that because they are working with Lycra, they need to use a specific machine called an overlock machine as they are designed for sewing stretch fabrics. I realized this myself years ago when I started my crime fighting career and was making my first costume. So criminals beware, if you go to Hartford CT, you will have to deal with Goatse Man!
I bet you’re now wondering what’s with the sewing lesson? It’s all foreshadowing my friends. Turns out Zulema breaks the overlock machine thus putting everyone in a bind because they all use it. Andrae decides that he will single-handedly fix it and completely rethread it while he’s at it. Since everyone else is aware of the deadline and have no problem with him wasting his time while they work on their pieces, they say nothing. Andrae is an idiot. Even Zulema admits that she didn’t even bother trying to fix it because she “never would’ve been able to finish it�.
Andrae finally fixes the stupid machine and when he gets back to his workstation he realizes that he doesn’t have a lot of time to work on his piece. No shit Sherlock. The next morning he makes it known that he will not be fixing it if it breaks again. Well no one asked you to the first time, so whatever.
Tim walks in and tells everyone that it’s time for him to give them his “little ‘Make it Work’ talkâ€?. Oh Timmy. He had maintenance look at the machines and do the best they can with them but they need to be aware that they can only do so much. They might be forced into doing some sewing by hand. Hey, not everyone has a Mark Burnett budget people.
With that Tim makes his rounds and offers his critiques. Emmett’s idea is to make his look like Van Goghs Starry Night. Tim doesn’t look impressed. Andrae says he wants to make Sasha into a wicked princess. Kara’s looks dull and Tim warns her that its too basic. Daniel says he thinks Kara’s design is also too basic. But not basic in a “Calvin Klein sort of way. It’s basic in more of a J.C. Penny sort of wayâ€? I love smug designers acting like J.C. Penny is beneath them, yet they spend most of their time rummaging through vintage clothing stores buying 40 year old outfits with blood stains on them because it makes them look “alternativeâ€?. When Tim gets to Santino he say’s that his is supposed to represent a “phoenix rising from the flamesâ€?. If that phoenix was a homeless man in rags than yes. Tim However has more advice to give Santino and it’s not just about his outfit. You see, Santion has a certain demeanor when he is on the runway. Tim tries to put it as elegantly as he can; “”Think about a way of responding to Michael and Nina that’s less f*ck you.â€? And then they cut right to a flashback of Santino on the runway responding to one if Nina’s criticisms with him giving out his patented F you attitude.
We then watch the elves as they work frantically until midnight. Unfortunately things don’t go smoothly. Kara breaks the overlock machine sending Andrae into a tizzy. He calls the situation “inordinately dreadful�. Nice verbiage my friend. This forces everyone to start hand sewing the rest of their garments. Zulema says that ‘popping seams are a possibility�. Hey as long as it happens to my girl Grace I’m all for it. She makes me pop a few seams whenever I see her, if ya know what I mean.
As they all frantically work until midnight everyone deals with stress their own way. Kara sobs quietly and probably goes into the bathroom to cut herself, Andrae wears his lucky short shorts, Zulema acts like a bitch, and Santino mocks people. In his crosshairs this evening is Michael Kors. In his best Kors impression he screams “It looks like a baboons ass exploded on her backside!” Not only was this funny, because its sounds like the kind of thing Kors would say, only with a lot of eye rolling, but it’s actually a perfect description of Santino’s crappy design. The thing is a mess. At least baboon sh*t would be an original idea. I myself would have gone with orangutan urine. It’s got this divine shade of yellow.
But working isn’t all Santino is doing. It’s confession time. After Tim’s minor scolding about Santino’s runway performance he starts to wax philosophic about what its like to be up their on the runway. “”It’s like I’m back on the corner and ready to get into a fistfight” he says. A short tempered skinny 6’4 man who likes to insult people while wearing high heels got into fights on his neighborhood street corner? No, sorry. I’m not buying it.
The next morning its time to get ready for the runway and that means one thing. Half naked models! Yeah! Things are going from bad to worse for Santino when even his model hates his outfit. You can see the worried look in his face. He basically tells us that he knows its not that good but he’s just going to go up there and BS everyone by telling them he thinks its great. Could this mean Santino is finally going home, or are we just getting a classic reality show fake out?
On the Runway we are met by Heidi who is rocking a 40’s look coupled with a slinky black gown. This girl looks even hotter pregnant than she did when she didn’t have that “little bump” as she calls it. Too bad her lizard baby looks more like Seal than her.
After the runway show they bring them out. Nick, Daniel and Andrae get to leave the runway. So that leaves Zulema, Santino, Emmett, Kara and Chloe. Michael Loves Chloes, and especially loves the colors. One judge thinks Chloe’s ruffles make the model look a little hippy. Since Grace, the model, weighs about 95 pounds that’s an achievement. Kara says her inspiration was jazz, but it looks a little too Vegasy for Michael Kors. Emetts is a mess in their eyes. The skirt is way too short and they think there’s “too much tootie being exposed�. Leave it to them to take something as pure as a character from Facts of Life and reduce it to crude slang for a woman’s crotch mackerel. I am disappointed in them. Zulema’s however is “sexy without being vulgar�. What’s so bad about vulgar without being sexy, I ask myself.
And then there is Santino. Oh poor Santino. His is a mess. Ann Slowey, filling in for Nina, calls it “Carmen Miranda on acid”. Michael says it would look more at home at a Thanksgiving Day pageant. Ouch. This cat’s got claws. He then says that it is “beyond not flatteringâ€?. Wait. Does that mean it’s flattering, or that it’s so beyond not flattering which means its super not flattering? Damn all this fashion slang!
Finally Sasha has to make her choice. I was hoping they would go with Ememtt because even I would watch figure skating on TV if it was Sasha Cohen in an outfit that was accentuating her horizontal fishcake. But she decides to go with Zulema instead.
From there they tell Chloe she is also EEN and its down to Emmett and Santino. They tell Santino that yet again, he was way over the top. Emmett was a stale design and not a lot of imagination. Plus you could almost see her hey nonnie nonnie. Which to them is “bad�. OK, last vagina euphamism. I swear.
I see London, I see France…
Heidi then says the phrase we have heard so much lately: “Santino. You are EEN.â€? Which means of course Emmett, you are out. He gets the “Auf wiedersehen” and the double cheek kiss and is off. But not before we get yet another fantastic shot of his huge belly in tight fitting lycra. A fitting final image.
So what did everyone else think? Are they glad Santino is still around?
TV Social
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53 Comments
I was surprised Zulema’s wasn’t considered vulgar. The thing barely covered her boobies. Looked like a Tonya Harding special. At least Emmett covered the tuna taco. I thought Chloe’s was best, for color and originality.
It’s clear that the judges, especially Heidi, have wanted Santino gone since the lingerie showdown. Heidi was very blunt about it this week. But the producers are probably worried that without him, things will get too boring–after all, if Andrea doesn’t have another breakdown and Zulema is too busy working to yell at Kara, only Santino will provide proper conflict and drama.
Oh and by the way, in terms of creating something attractive and realistic for skating but that hasn’t been done before, Chloe clearly won. I would imagine a good many skaters have worn outfits with some peak-a-boo mesh and a basic skirt like Zulema used.
The likeness is uncanny
http://www.supermantv.net/smallville/images/zod.jpg
I was really disappointed that they kicked Emmmett off. His outfit was pretty boring, but at least it was functional, which is more than you can say about Santino’s very bloody road kill-esque creation. If Grace looked hippy in Chloe’s outfit, then Santino’s model looked like Jesse ‘The Body’ Ventura in that get-up.
The one encouraging part of the show was when Santino slunk off stage and quietly said “sorry Emmett”…maybe he finally gets that his ginormous ego isn’t so deserved.
Great recap!
I think they might be waiting to cut Santino until Nina Garcia is there to enjoy it. She has taken the brunt of his “f you” attitude.
Also, I think Santino said he felt like he was “backed into a corner” and needed to fight. Not “back on the corner.”
Poor, poor Emmett. I thought it was funny when he said, as he was leaving the runway, “Was is the shirt?”
Zulema is cleary a bi-otch, but the one thing I like about her is that she doesn’t crack under pressure like that crazy South African. Kara is seriously on the verge of a mental break.
Santino was more likeable & playful in this episode but he’s still demon spawn.
Final 3: Nick, Chloe and Daniel V. I think Santino’s days are over…
EdHill + muffin tops = hilarity! Thanks for the Friday afternoon laugh – great recap!
I’m not much into skating so I found this episode to be really boring…I think Santino was definately humbled this time…Maybe he will get his act together just in time to make the top 3…
Love the screen shot of him falling and grabbing Emmitt’s ass..classic!
What, no mention of talentless Robert from Season 1? They dressed him in the postman outfit (a throwback at the Season 1 challenge) to deliver the skating outfits. Funny as heck when Emmett didn’t even recognize who he was.
Lastly, I always get a chuckle when Heidi redundantly says “And models, this ALSO is a competition for you AS WELL.”
I shall miss Emmett. While he may not have been the best designer, at least most of his clothes seemed wearable to me. Not to mention that he was the classiest of the men–very few gentlemen could so elegantly rock the white suit and straw hat.
Also, he seemed like a genuinely nice guy. Farewell Emmett, and good luck!
spatula, I admit my TiVO had a brain fart and missed the first few minutes of the episode so I didn’t see it.
I f*ckin hate robert.
Whoa to that unfortunate hot pink shirt. I always found Emmett rather dapper. The poofy shoulders, the boobs, the muffin-top? It was such a disappointment. This episode sucked because ice skating outfits are such a niche. It’s hard for me to care about ever since I got clubbed in the knee.
Tim commented that Emmett’s was vulgar and dowdy (on the website maybe?), which is a perfect description of Zulema’s outfit. It looked like a whore chopped up her grandma’s fancy table cloth to go skating. I liked Emmett’s though I guess it was standard.
I admit to also liking Santino and Zulema this week. They were both pretty cool. PR has very funny video on their website of Santino doing more of his singing and antics.
EdHill, good call on Daniel ragging on JCPenney. Like he wouldn’t fuck a woman to have his own line of clothes at JCP. And could he please shower? Or at least comb? It was nice to see that Santino bathed. Didn’t he come out in a towel?
Re: talentless Rob– it was so funny when Rob told Emmett he was Jay McCarroll and Emmett just stared at him…
Poor Emmett and his bitch-tits/potbelly– I would have never guessed as he always wears such well-cut normal clothes!
Oh yeah, and I almost peed myself when I saw Santino “fresh” out of the shower…
no matter how much of a jackass santino is he’s had a couple of really strong showings and is always creative unlike emmet who’s designs have been a bore all season. as for this whole challenge, figure skating outfits are always tacky and costumey and some of those eastern european skaters would kill to wear santino’s turkey outfit.
funny recap but a couple things standout…
gay jokes about project runway have jumped the shark.
the term ‘jump the shark’ has jumped the shark.
“KNEEL before Zod!”
Just… awesome, on so many levels.
Did anyone listen to Tim Gunn’s podcast? Apparently they all had to go wait in the van before they could go to the rink, and they ended up parking in a prison parking lot.
Tim decided to trick them and tell them they were going to be the entertainment for the prisoners. haha! He was chortling with how evil that was. He said all the guys were just terrified. How I would love to have seen Santino quivering in his crazy bomber fur cap.
EdHill — never thought I’d love anyone’s recaps as much as B-Side’s, but you … you rock. And not only because I’ve learned so many new ways to say “vagina.” Oh, and LOVED your description of Kara with the cat, gravel, etc. She’s this season’s Wendy Pepper, I think. If she stays on, she’s going to crack gloriously under the pressure. Can’t. Wait.
Anyway, Emmett’s exit interview … WTF? Is the guy on lithium? He could only get like four words out at a time, followed by strained pauses. Weird.
one more thing. As my husband and I were watching, he was like “is that santino with a towel?” Rewinding tivo, it looks like Santino was (gasp) getting out of the shower when dorky rob was brining in the packages.
I don’t know what’s worse. Smelly Santino, or seeing Santino’s boxers. Ick.
Laurie, surely Santino shuns underwear.
re:Shark Jumping
Hasn’t everything in our society jumped the shark? The minute something becomes cool, it makes itself passe. It will be hard to maintain and I envision a cultural implosion that causes people to actually think for themselves and stop getting tattoos on their lower backs.
Sasha Cohen doesn’t know what she’s talking about, thinking that Chloe’s design wouldn’t flatter her. Hello thats what the ruffles are for you idiot! She so should have one. Go Chloe!
LQ, at last, I’m back on the block!!! I might have thought you’d be enjoying this slice of jumped up shark!!!
I’m still new to the show, but I’m a huge skating fan, and it was nice to see Sasha be nice! From what I know of her, Zulema’s outfit was closest to her style, and she did once wear a simillar one with a bare, sheer fabric’d back.
Santino’s was atroucious (pls don’t correct my spelling–I suck, I know)
had to love the model revulsion!
And correct me if I’m wrong, but wasn’t Chloe’s a knock-off from a Dawn doll of the ’70′s fashion!?
Edhill, what can I say “hey nonnie nonnie”
lol lol lol lol . .. .bless you!!!!
juddfan, Baby! I’ve been missing all over you. I intuited that you were back and had to make sure. No, I’m not all alone and pathetic on a Friday night checking TVgasm and watching Wedding Crashers (at least I haven’t seen it before. Better be good.) So glad you found PR. Check out the http://www.bravotv.com website for more fun beyond EdHill’s “50 pet names for your cooter.”
Also, Survivor… coming soon to a small screen near you!
LizardQueen, I don’t think Tim said that Emmet’s outfit was vulgar, unless his “Tim’s Take” on the PR site has changed. When I read it yesterday, Tim took the substitute judge to task for calling the outfit vulgar, saying that he didn’t know where she got that from.
Tim did agree that Emmet’s outfit was dowdy, which it was, but I still don’t think it was as bad as Santino’s. The judges themselves said that Santino doesn’t pay any attention to his customer and insists on doing his own thing. So why is he still here? I don’t get it, but it doesn’t really matter since Emmet’s time had clearly come and the “I’m just a men’s wear designer” schtick was getting old.
Sascha’s not liking Chloe’s dress is the only reason I can come up with for why Zulema won the challenge. I thought Chloe’s dress was more innovative, but I will admit I might be biased because I don’t like Zulema. Even though she claimed she wanted to stay focused on making the top three and wouldn’t let the win go to her head, it looks like Zulema starts power tripping anyway. According to the previews of next week’s show, she demands a “walk off” between three of the models. Whatever, I hope she enjoys it because I’m joining the growing consensus that Chloe, Nick, and Daniel will be the top three.
LQ, enjoy the show and you’re weekend–I heard the crashers was good . . .
1) EdHill – how can you hate Robert? I’ve never known a friendly letch before and I found him fascinating last year.
2) I hate Zulema. Every week we hear how she “doesn’t do” that week’s challenge. “I don’t do sequins or Lycra,” “I don’t do Banana Republic,” etc. She sucks.
3) Chloe is a tiny, tiny woman. But I dig her. Her and Nick are both likable people.
4) Grace?! Ugh, dude, we need to talk.
5) A couple more weeks of pregger Heidi and I”m gonna be searching Empornium for “Lactating Lasses 10.”
6) Your now-reaching attempts at vagina euphemisms is getting out of hand. But more disturbing is that you forget the orientation of the anatomy… “Horizontal fishcake?” You’ve been banging so right fucked up ho’s.
7) Santino is lame. He’s a character now and we love this show because in Season one, the characters were “real,” so to speak. Though is Kors impression was quite entertaining.
8) After Andrae’s week 1 meltdown, I speak for everyone when I say, “Hm, he ain’t that bad.”
9) My mom told me last weekend that she didn’t like Sasha Cohen. I asked why (not knowing a thing about skating) and she reported that, “I don’t like her personality.” (I’m just trying to get to 10 here, people.)
10) I miss Dirty Diana. Diiiiii-aaaaaaan-aaaaaa…
did anyone see that jay was going to be a judge next week? I thought he was so cool until I saw him on an episode of life on the d-list and he was such an ass to Kathy.
Santino is still around because of his strong showing earlier in the show. Unfortunately he has used up his capitol and now must put the goods on the runway or he’s fucked.
Let’s see if I can do like sg-dub and come up with 10 observations:
1. “When they get to the store they all spread out dressed like Tinkerbell” I’m horribly offended – I dress much better than any of those twits. You were closer to the mark when you compared Zulema to Wesley Snipe’s drag queen.
2. I loved how Emmet and Nick had bedazzled their already Oh-so-pretty tops with initials in sequins. How very Laverne of them.
3. Loved the opening with delivery boy Robert – he’s always so smiley and happy. Was sure he’d flirt with the women – then remembered – none of them are cute.
4. This was the episode of the towel – seemed like just about everyone took a turn in their towel – it was disturbing wondering which would be the one to fall.
5. Chloe’s outfit was by far the best – the problem with having guest judges like the skater is that they go with what they like which isn’t always the best design. (Yes, I’m looking at YOU Nicky Hilton)
6. Tim Gunn plastered to the side of the rink – utter fear on his face – it’s nice to see even he can become flustered in the right situation.
7. I’m starting to feel really bad for the models – the way it’s gone so far the losing designer’s model is out each week – no wonder why Santino’s model looked petrified – she was sure she was headed for an “Auf Wiedersahn”.
8. Would have been much more cool to see a show cross over between this episode and Skating with the Stars. Would like to have seen them design a tutu for Willis.
9. I loved how Zulema kept going on and on about how her design was of an ice princess, went so far as to instruct the Tresomme Hair Stylists to give her a very icy look for her hair. The end result – a pony tailed girl with spaghetti on her boobs.
Ok – Sg-dub you win, I can’t reach 10 – it’s late I’m tired….. so let’s just go back to
1. “When they get to the store they all spread out dressed like Tinkerbell”
hehehe Ed said my name in a recap – I mean I know he didn’t mean ME but still I might just have to print this and hang it in my little cubelet at work.
TinkerbellAPixie, I would never sully you’re name in a derogatory way in a racap. I’m saving you for something special. If only you lived on the northeat you could join me in our “tristate tvgasm happy hour”. It’s still in the planning stages.
I knew sg-dub couldnt stay away. I can also personally attest that at least 2 jokes in my recap are from him. Theres no way im this funny on my own. Except fot the cooter jokes.
Yes, Grace is maga hot. She could stand to gain a few more pounds, cuz I like a little meat on my bones, but I have always been a sucker for a red head.
Robert was a waste of space. his designs sucked and the only reason he lasted so long was because he charmed the judges. I hate him. Wh can’t he just be sexy AND smart and productive like me? Am I so rare?
And I’m starting to get more pissed that I missed the first few minutes of this episode. Santino showering? Robert whoring out? My fake TiVo sucks.
What? No cooter references? I’m shocked EdHill, I was expecting at least one….
Chloe was robbed. Santino blows. Zulema is still scary.
Does anyone else think Andrae is tweaked out of his mind? I think Miss Crystal has visited him….
KH
Oh EdHill…please, please let me know when/where the tristate tvgasm happy hour is going to be…count me in!!!
) Also…Bravo replays Project Runway a million times so I’m sure your fake TiVo can catch it again and again..and eventually get the first 4 min…
TinkerbellAPixie, I was sure Santino’s towel was gonna fall off. It was at once horrifying and fascinating. I’m always intrigued by tall men like Santino. Even if they are gay, ugly, bloviating, fried onion ass smellin’ like egotists. It’s all about the tall.
EdHill, Grace surprises me. She lacks the lusciousness of your girl Heidi. I pictured you for more of a Tanya Roberts circa Charlie’s Angels redhead. Needless to say you can color me devastated if I don’t get the details on the TVgasm soiree.
re: Wedding Crashers
Eh, not so good. Owen Wilson wears too much makeup. But he is the Hollywood blonde I’d most like to have dinner with. And by dinner I mean do me from behind whilst spanking me with one hand and tugging my hair with the other as we pant and moan with sheer delight.
I think the judges should be consistant in hating “ugly” more or hating “boring” more. If Guadalupe got sacked over Marla, Santino should have been sacked over Emmett. I was really shocked that Santino got through this one — maybe that was holy water he finally bathed in.
Tim Gunn skating was THE BEST. Wish he’d worn a swishy little sequined outfit with his package showing.
EdHill: If you’re in to skater gotch (as you seem to be) check out http://www.sportsdignity.com/ — plenty of camel toes, not-quite-shaven tacos, and ripped pants. My faves are the toreadores, who are not only getting reamed by a two-ton bull, but also have their asses or dicks bursting out of their oh-so-masculine costumes. Good fun! Great sport!
P.S. Is “tootie” a blend of “twat,” “cooter,” and “booty”?
Zulema is freaky and her design was no less “vulgar” than Emmett’s. Sascha would have to use lots of Stickum on her boobies to keep them from peeking out. Santino is only there because of his personality…he’s off next week if he doesn’t design for the customer.
Chloe’s should have won. Perfect for the single skater and would have accentuated her figure perfectly.
Without Nina Garcia and Dirty Diana, I felt disoriented and faint this episode. Luckily the ungainly sight of Santino in a towel and Michael Kors’ various turkey comments kept me going. god bless this show. can’t wait for next week’s SHOCKING run-off between the models.
And thank god we got rid of Marla’s lame anorexic model who refused to wear lingerie. not only was she dumb, she had bad posture too.
I have a little hunch that the type of men who are reading the project runway recap are the type of men who have a very good idea what ice skating is.
EdHill:
Stop calling Heidi and Seal’s baby a lizard baby. That baby is actually suprisingly cute.
Great recap!
I want in on the happy hour too!
It was a good episode, but if they were going by the quality of the designs, then Santino really should have been the one who was gone.
I thought the decision was fair. Although I loved classy Emmett, and his potbelly in that shirt, his design was really boring, totally done-a-million times. I suspect that in addition to keeping Santino for shock value, the judges thought he could do more interesting things than Emmett. And Santino *knew* he just managed to squeak by this time. A teeny bit of redemption.
Grace is a striking model. She has a very different “look” to her, and it makes her stand out from the rest of the models.
Anne Slowey was %100 pure unadulterated idiot. What in the f!*k is “tooty”? She struck me as making an attempting to zing the desingers with her brilliant wit, and ended up sounding like an ass. I never thought I would miss Nina!
I thought Cloe’s dress was very cool in comparison to the others– everyone seems to assume that a skater’s dress has to be the standard “body-suit on top, short skirt on bottom”. Chloe designed something that had a different look to it, and I give her props. I think Sasha probably didn’t want to go with it for the reason that it didn’t look to be all that flattering up top (i.e.– no boobage curves) I can certainly get with that, I am built only slightly better upstairs than these models, I always look for clothes that help rectify this. The thing that Sasha needed to remember was that most models are somewhat flat chested these days, and I think the outfit would have looked really cute on her. (not to mention great color and flow on the ice)
SANTINO’S impression of Michael Kors: wet myself–
Nick’s repeated reaction to Sasha Cohen– again, wet myself!
This was one of the best episodes of this show! Emmett really does have a glazed deer-in-the-headlights look that I have grown to love. I think that Santino stayed over Emmett for 2 reasons: Yes, PERFECT reality love-2-hate persona, AND even though he is snarky to the judges and everyone one else, he comes up with original designs. Emmett struggles with originality in his designs even though he really does have class and reserve. Unfortunately, it would seem that class and reserve only get you halfway through this design series.(I think with a more interesting color and longer skirt, he might have pulled it off…)
I was actually sort of surprised that Tim got out on the ice– different side of Bang Bang Tim altogether!!!
One more thing, “…ENTIRELY too much ‘tootie’!!” just hearing a grown woman refer to female genitalia in that manner was spectacular! Perhaps even funnier if she had used “cookie” instead!
re: the “tootie” situation:
How then could Slowey, who attends all the shows as Elle’s “fashion news editor,” stand to watch the Victoria’s Secret or any other lingerie/bathing suit fashion show? I thought Slowey was HIGH when she made that idiotic statement.
Ya know, Chloe is talented and seems like she has a spot in the final 3 secured but has anyone else noticed that she designs basically the same thing for every challenge?!?! I’m getting sick of her predictability. Aside from the Banana Republic & Lingerie challenge (where she had to work with teams), she has designed a short blue dress for every. single. challenge. They’re all the same dress! Get over blue! I mean, COME ON! Can’t she think of anything else? And the skating outfit that she designed, though more wearable than the others, was such a collosal bore that I almost slipped into a coma.
So the ice skating rink is right down the street from my house. They need to advertise when reality shows are in the area, I already missed Amazing Racers getting lost up the street from me!!
so any guesses as to who is out tomorrow night, i am hoping its kara or zulema
hardly–i’m w/ you, i can do w/o both of those loons. I wish Sasha hadn’t chosen Zulema’s design—not only does it seem like something that’s been done b4, it seems 2 have fueled her (undeserved) ego—from the previews it seems like she’s stealin dear Nick’s model! Her design also made the model’s boobs look tiny (since the fabric covering & accentuating ‘m was tiny). I would prefer 4 her 2 leave, just so i could watch 1 more meltdwn fr Kooky Kara!
I thnk Santino felt more humbled in ths episode, i thnk he knew fr the start his design wasn’t all that. He did crack me up w/ his Kors impersonations.
Lastly, poor Emmett—but I was sick of him alw. defending himself by sayin he was a menswear designer—SO WHAT?? did he thnk by going on ths show he’d only b ask’ed 2 design 4 men the whole time?? esp. given that w’m are the main fashion consumers??!!
Edhill rocks! many a guffaw incurred durin ths recap!
I just LOVE that Andre pic…but where is the one where Nick outgays him??
I am betting that Kara will be out tonight, but I am hoping Zulema goes.
emmett seems so charming, dashing, a bit european, luved him, but if i heard his excuse about being a menswear designer again, well i know we were all sick of it
tinight i think they have to find inspiration in nyc, who decided to unleash those loons on the city? i can’t wait…
i wonder if kara will come back to parson’s with the dead cat and gravel!
zulema will be like “i don’t do inspiration” just like she doesn’t ‘do’ banana republic, and gowns for celebrities — how did she manage to make that model look bloated?
Either you are ripping of Dan Renzi, or you are totally proving him right when he pretends to be the “straight guy” writing about this.
http://danrenzi.typepad.com/stuff/project_runway/index.html
Life imitates art.
Did anyone else try to read the recap-link in the post previous to this one? Maybe I misunderstood it, but I didn’t think it was anything like EdHill’s recap– or did I miss the point? I couldn’t read more than a few sentences, I found it difficult and not-funny. Maybe it was me?…