Life’s Rich Pageant

Project Runway

By EdHIll | Friday, July 21, 2006 | 10:14 pm | 71 Comments

I sat down for this weeks Project Runway all a twitter with the knowledge that this episode would finally show us the big “scandal” that has been alluded to from both Heidi in interviews and on other websites. Alas, I was let down as the episode went off with nary a controversy. Well, Vincent acted all crazy, but that’s his “thing” so it really doesn’t qualify as an event.

This week’s challenge also included one of the most unimpressive surprise “guest stars” since Nancy O’Dell from season one. Miss USA? Not only did I not know who she was, I didn’t even think they had a Miss USA anymore. Personally, I wish they would have gone with designing a gown for Ms. Olympia. Imagine designing a glamorous gown for this chick. Now that would be a challenge.
On the runway Heidi comes out looking fab as usual. Last time they were assigned models but this time they get to choose. Cue the hot models in black slips and their accompanying music. Keith goes first and picks Narzi, the African American model with the hair of Yahoo Serious. From there each one picks the model they like, with accompanying looks of crushing defeat from the models when one of the designers goes another way. It’s kind of too early in the season to really get an idea of the models so I’ll just kind of move on.

Heidi tells then that today’s challenge they will be designing for “An icon of American beauty,” OHMIGOD! It’s Star Jones, I just know it! Heidi turns to the big Project Runway silhouette as the woman appears and starts to turn the corner . It’s….. A woman! With…some sort of sash. Umm, is it the Strawberry Festival queen from Wethersfield CT? Wait no. It’s got to be the Miss Apple Blossom Festival Pageant winner! Winchester PA in da house! What? No? Oh. It’s Miss USA Tara Conner. Her two main goals this year are winning the Miss Universe pageant and making sure Cyberdyne systems does not start a nuclear war thus unleashing evil Austrian cyborgs to ravage our future landscape. But mostly winning Miss Universe.

Now to you and me, Miss USA is not exactly awe inspiring. But in the world of Project Runway, where 80% of the contestants are gay dressmakers, it’s the next best thing to Liza herself walking onstage. Or to put it another way, if I was a contestant on the show and the person who we were told to design an outfit for was non other than Boba Fett, intergalactic bounty hunter, I would have reacted the exact same way Kayne did when he saw Miss USA. Eyes bulging, smiles and even some hyperventilating. Miss USA tells the designers that their challenge is to design a gown for her upcoming competition for Miss Universe. And they better do a good job because the contestants from Rijel 6 of the Quxxor Galaxy are looking strong this year.

Back in the workroom Tim appears with Tara by her side. She tells Tim that this year she is the second tallest contestant in the pageant (smallest contestant? Ruby Hardbottle of the Shire) so she wants a dress that will elongate her form. She is looking for earth tones and she does not want a plunging neckline because, as she says, she “does not want them to see this” and points to her bazoombas. She is so gonna lose.

“I got boobs y’all!”

Tim then explains that this week everyone will be working in teams. They will all be given 30 minutes to come up with an initial sketch and then Miss USA will meet with each of them and pick the top 7 designs she likes. Those people will then become team leaders and choose another person to help them carry out their vision. This challenge stresses teamwork.

Once Tim drops that nugget we hear Angela fret that she has never designed a gown before so she hopes that she gets paired with someone with excellent “construction skills”, meaning she hopes she gets picked by someone who knows what to do.

During the sketch phase Angela puts her plan into motions. She eschews any actual “sketching” in favor of a better strategy. Glom onto Kayne, the guys whose specialty is designing pageant gowns, and kiss his ass so he will pick her as a partner. It has the exact opposite effect as she is so annoying and won’t leave him alone to sketch, he only gets annoyed with her.

Once the half hour is up they bring their ideas before Tara. Laura stresses her architectural designs. Michael Knight naturally goes with the goddess look. The goddess look with the sweet padunkadunk. That’s his style. Jeffrey tells her he wants to reveal her “strong warrior structure”. Miss USA has a warrior structure? Keiths presentation gets a little more interactive as he grabs her breasts to explain to her how he’s going to have everything fitted. Then he looks at her with his best Travis Bickle stare and says, in the creepiest tone imaginable “I want to see your legs. I think your legs are so important. They’re gorgeous.” Tara just gives a look that simply says “God where is my rape whistle when I need it?”

**“You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me? Well, I’m the only one here. Who do the f*ck do you think you’re talking to?”**

Vincent comes out and does his insanity pitch. This dude is seriously mentally unstable. So much so I think his sketches were drawn with a mixture of his own feces and menstrual fluid. When it’s Kayne’s turn he is talking so fast he looks as if he’s going to give himself an aneurysm. He loves pageants! He says that Tara is “Freaking gorgeous” and wants to frame her face. She eats it all up.

Then it’s Angela’s turn. She starts off by telling Tara that “she doesn’t sketch” so she’s just going to ask her some questions. “How do you feel about an umpire waist?” OK, I admit I know little about fashion, but do you think Miss USA would ever be into something called an “umpire waist”? When Tara just gives her a pained look Angela snaps back “Okay that’s all I need to know! How do you feel about gloves?” Not gonna happen. It’s also worth noting Angela’s presentation is probably hurt by the fact that she is dressed like a crazy bag lady.

Angela just screams glamour doesn’t she?

After the interviews are over Tara makes her choices. She chooses Laura, Malan, Keith, Vincent, Jeffrey, Kayne and Uli. Now its time for the team leaders to pick their teammates. Laura picks Michael, Kayne goes with…. Robert. Angela gets denied. Jeffrey picks Allison. Malan picks Catherine. Uli goes with Bonnie and Keith grabs Bradley, leaving Angela the last one picked for kickball. “I’m happy to work with Alison.” Vincent says. “Angela” she corrects him. Tim says they have 2 days and a 300 dollar budget. Now its time for shopping. Off to Mood we go. Things between Angela and Vincent get off to a rocky start because Angela is a btich and Vincent is insane. Angela is concerned that Vincent is too busy babbling incoherently instead of choosing fabric. Angela tells us that she is not inspired by his vision at all and is getting nervous.

Back in the workroom Kayne and Robert are thick as thieves. Robert says it’s “like a comedy show because we crack each other up”. Cut to Kayne making really lispy gay jokes about fuschia, with head snaps included. Mind of Mencia is funnier. Bonnie is wondering whether it’s one or two person elimination. Then she tells Uli “I want to see people start fighting.” Well her wish is granted as we cut to Vincent and Angela. Angela is asking Vincent if he needs any help, but Vincent blows her off. He’s not interested in help. He then explains to her that the only person that he needs help from is his imaginary friend Charlemagne that lives in his pants.

Malan and Katherine seem to be doing well together. Katherine is happy that Malan picked him. Malan then gives us a little bit of his history. “When I was about 13 I had a stack of sketches that I drew. When I went to my mother and showed her the sketches she looked though the first few pages, she threw them on the floor and said they wouldn’t ever amount to anything and that I should never do that again. Project Runway will give me a chance to show her.” Damn. Why does that remind me of Hannibal Lectors childhood?

Angela and Vincent meanwhile are still fighting. Vincent gets so frustrated. That he tells Angela that “you have to move 3 feet back now”. Angela gets pissy right back and says “I stepped back one and a half feet so you can step forward one and a half feet.”. This sends Vincent into his insane spasms of hand motions and gibberish.

The next morning Tim makes his first walk through. He loves Uli’s concept but says it needs perfect finishing. Over at Robert and Kayne’s station he likes it but wants them to get rid of some of the ruffles. Then it’s Vincent’s turn. He tells him he wants to be blunt “I’m disappointed”. Then he asks Angela what she thinks. She says she would not want her name attached to that dress. In the diary room interview Vincent expresses shock that Angela would badmouth him that way. Well he did ignore her and not accept any help from her so what did he expect her to say?

Over at Malan’s station Tim looks concerned. Malan has crated what I can only assume is a dress made entirely out of diarrhea. Which I think is amazingly creative. Tim says it looks heavy. “Like it was carved out of a big log.” This leaves Malan concerned. Katherine tells us that she is also getting more concerned about how the piece looks. She starts to distance herself from it in order not to get booted.

Over at another station Laura is telling Michael about how something has to be altered to keep the model from looking like she is “pooping”. That’s a good instinct. Robert and Kayne are adding all tons of Rhinestones and Vincent and Angela are still bickering. When Angela tries to tell him not to tell the judges that he ran out of time on the dress, Vincent just snaps back and tells her that it’s his dress and he likes it and to basically shut up.

Back in the apartments she is telling the girls that she is worried that they are going to be in the bottom three and she is going to have to defend herself. In the boys room Vincent is bitching about how Angela is going to “stab her in the back”, meaning she is going to give her honest opinion on the dress she had absolutely no input on. Jeffrey pops his naked body around the corner “I’ve got one word to sum her up. Feminazi.” Yes of course. Her demeanor is perfectly equitable to a group of men who murdered over 6 million people. And of course don’t forget the insult to feminism. Freaking women who think for themselves. They are so annoying….

The next morning Tim pops into the workroom and tells him its time to prep the models for the runway. Kayne and Uli are thrilled with their looks but Katherine is horrified when they finally drape Malan’s shit dress on their model. Vincent and Angela are still bickering in the corner. Now they are fighting about what time they have to be ready, with Angela saying its 12:15 when its really 12:30 and Vincent convinced that she lied to screw him up. Then he attacks her for not “helping” with the gown, conveniently forgetting that she tried and he refused all help and ordered her to stand 3 feet away from him. Wes from Real World is more mature than these two. Enough of this nonsense, lets see models in the underwear!

On the runway Heidi comes out and introduces thee judges. Sitting in for Michael Kors is the equally fabulous Vera Wang. Damn, now that this shows popular they are bagging all the top guest spots. Season one we Had Richard Johnson ogling the 16 year old models at a cocktail party, now we got the classy and fabulous Vera Wang. Then Nina and finally Miss USA Tara, wearing a 70′s feathered look that went out months ago.

Then the runway show starts. Jeffrey is amazed at how “beautifully grotesque way the skirt was draped”. As opposed to the horrifically grotesque way his 9 inch neck somehow manages to be thicker than his actual head. Then cut to Alison saying she wasn’t happy with the dress at all. Keith’s dress comes out all flowing and both he and Bradley are happy with it. Even Vincent is happy with his dress as we here, and Angela just tells us in her voiceover that it isn’t her dress and she wants nothing to do with it.

As Kayne’s model walks out the first thing you notice is his models fierce walk. It looks a little prom dressy to me but what do I know, I’m currently wearing a “boob inspector” t shirt. Uli’s s looks very Santinoish. Laura’s dress is very simple and elegant. I admit her runway models walk is a little stiff though. And she looks about 12 years old, which is gross. I prefer them to look at least 14. I’m no pervert.

When Malan’s shit monster dress comes down the runway Malan thinks he put his best foot forward but Katherine is afraid. Very afraid.

I think it makes her look hippy..

After the show Heidi asks Kayne and Robert, Malan and Katherine, Uli and Bonie, Vincent and Angela to step forward. Everyone who’s name she has not called can leave the runway. Ooh, see that? She flipped it. Always messing with your head are the Germans. The 4 remaining teams have the highest and lowest scores. Also, there will only be one person going home today, not two.

Uli and bonnie are up first. Vera Wang likes the layering she put into it, and Tara Likes the back. Kara also loves the sweet heart top on Kayne’s. And she really loves the color. Nina singles him out for praise in regards to the color, since he went against Tara’s wishes but his choices were right on. She likes his initiative.

Malan’s. Well what can you say about a shit dress? The ruffling is mess, just making it look more gross. None of them like it and then they notice that the whole dress is too short. But to Malan’s credit when asked who should go home from their team, he volunteers himself.

And now Angela and Vincent. The battling Bickersons. When they ask Vincent about how it was working together, Vincent says that the work he had to put into it was “astronomical” because of all the mistakes Angela put into it. Angela. The one who didn’t get to do anything. Gee, kind of puts a whole new dimension on the “Feminazi” conversation earlier where you and the boys club were horrified at the prospect of her “stabbing you in the back”.

Surprisingly Nina likes parts of it and while Vera doesn’t like the sleeves, thinks the idea itself is sophisticated. When Angela says that she doesn’t think the dress stand out, Tara thinks it does. Next comes my favorite part. When they ask Vincent who should go home from their group, he says that what Angela put her through was “horrific”. Vincent is not one for understatement. You know what’s horrific? Living in Baghdad. Growing up hungry in a third world country. Designing a dress with a bad partner on a reality show is a minor annoyance. And then he says that Angela should be the one to go home if the dress sucks. Even though it was all his vision. As you can tell, I really don’t like Vincent. I’m not thrilled with Angela either, who coasted her way through this challenge. Vincent then throws in a final overstatement by calling the challenge the “nightmare of my life” Even Uli the taciturn German laughs at him on that one.

After the judges confer they bring them out again. Heidi tells Robert and Bonnie that they are safe and can leave. Now its time to announce the winner. The winner is…Kayne. The guy who owns a pageant gown shop. What a shock! Heidi then tells Uli, Katherine and Vincent that they are in and can leave. So its down to Malan and Angela. They tell Malan basically what his mother told him. He failed from top to bottom. Their beef with Angela is her failure to work with a team. And the loser is….Malan. He is out.

After Malan leaves and we get his post eviction interview he cries and talks about how ashamed he is, how he doesn’t have a lot of friends. Damn, even I’m feeling bad for the guy now. Tins is not how reality shows are supposed to work dammit.

Ah well, it was the best choice really. His dress sucked and Angela, while not working well with Vincent the insane psycho, didn’t deserve to go home.

What did everyone else think?

Comments (71)
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71 Comments

1

mostannabella

Posted July 21, 2006 at 11:12 pm

OMG well I was realy surprized at the elimination!! I thought the crazy bitch should have gone home. ESPECIALLY after the judge talked about how classic the design was!! Screw the crazy granola bit$h
2

gasmgrrl

Posted July 21, 2006 at 11:36 pm

Its an empire waist, not umpire.

However, all was forgiven the moment you said “a dress made entirely of diarrhea.” still laughing!

So glad the Vampire Malan went home! I think the story about his mom throwing his drawings on the floor is total BS. I thought he woud coast for awhile b/c he is obviously a “character.” So proud of Bravo for ousting him and his shit dress early on. I can now forgive them for the Macy’s Accessory Wall. Almost
3

lostinqueenanne

Posted July 22, 2006 at 1:39 am

no gasmgrrl Angela actually did say “umpire waist” even though its “empire.” this is the woman whose dresses are mistaken for Yves St. Laurent? She doesn’t even know how to say empire correctly?
4

Lizardqueen

Posted July 22, 2006 at 3:51 am

Not to be a nitpicker here but I think Malan’s hot mess of a dress was made of something slightly more substantial than diarrhea. Part of EdHill’s charm, and what qualifies him to recap PR3, is his complete lack of knowledge about the fashion world. He dresses like a caveman for God’s sake. But he should know his fecal terminology. It’s his field of expertise.
All I could think when poor pathetic Malan was tearing up with shame was his mother sitting home and screaming in her Grey Goose soaked best “I told you so you little faggot!!!!!!”
If Woody Allen and (insert your favorite diva here) had a love child it would be Vincent. He and Alison, er, Angela together are crazier than a bag of squirrels. I think the case could have definitely been made for Angela’s ouster. The challenge was 1)Make a dress 2) Teamwork. It could’ve gone either way. Expect much insanity to ensue thanks to keeping Angela. Surely the producers saw something in her that meant more drama and entertainment than they did in the eccentric and much maligned Malan.
My favorite dress was the one made by plunging neckline lady. You see, when somebody tells an old women with 5 kids “Don’t make me a white dress and don’t accentuate my gigantic knockers…” that’s exactly what she’s gonna do.
5

Lizardqueen

Posted July 22, 2006 at 4:03 am

Oh, good call on the Keith/Taxi Driver business. I’m pretty sure I can’t stand him. But thanks for the memories. Aah, to be a 12 year old hooker again….
6

biancaneve

Posted July 22, 2006 at 5:08 am

Okay – it’s an empire waist, but it’s pronounced with a French accent (ahm-peer) because it was popularized by Napoleon’s wife, Josephine. I can’t stand both Angela and Vincent and Malan was growing on me, but I think it would have been hard to justify sending Angela home when Vincent had refused to allow her to work on the dress. And Malan’s dress was hideously ugly, but still, I was hoping they would reward daring design gone horribly wrong, versus no design at all.

And what’s with the big scandal they keep teasing us with?
7

conrad5

Posted July 22, 2006 at 5:41 am

For someone who fancies herself a clothing designer, Laura wears some of the most vulgar and inappropriate clothing I’ve ever seen. How many nip-slips of her deflated breasts must we be subjected to? It would be nice to see Allison (the cute young blond) in the same revealing outfits, but Heidi Shatner is obviously pulling rank, and refusing to share the screen with another attractive blond woman. Seriously, look at the group shots…they may as well hide Allison in your sub-woofer.

I truly felt sorry for Malan when he told that story about his wicked mother, and then proceeded to cry. A young boy’s love of woman’s clothing: the love that must never speak it’s name. When he lamented his lack of friends, I immediately thought that maybe he should rethink that arrogant prick persona he works so hard. There’s only room in this world for one Michael Kors. Vera Schlong…I mean Wang, please take note. I’ve watched Michael Kors, I’ve ate pumpkin pie filling that resembles Michael Kors, and madam, you’re no Michael Kors!

Did anyone notice during the preview of next week’s show, who the guest judge is? Could it be? Ivanka!
8

The Svan

Posted July 22, 2006 at 5:44 am

Angela deserved to go home. The Svan was really disappointed as she made no real effort to work.
9

prjctrnwyAHH

Posted July 22, 2006 at 6:26 am

Argh that elimination was so irritating I created a sign in name to leave a comment!
Angela should have gone home instead of Malan! He did mess up his dress, but Angela did not make any attempt to do any work. She didn’t even PRETEND to do any sketches because she was too confident she could buddy up and get by with Kayne. At least Malan had an idea… which Tara picked to lead! And maybe Vincent wasn’t letting Angela help but she’s so obnoxious I wouldn’t have wanted her near me either. I just think it’s ridiculous she gets to stay and she didn’t even make an effort with this challenge.
10

HoneyBunny

Posted July 22, 2006 at 6:44 am

This season’s designers are showing promise for great fashion and great drama. Milan’s ouster was a jaw dropper but I do think the judges chose the lesser of two losers. Angela being ‘shocked’ that Vincent called her out means she is not only a Feminazi but a Femimoron.

I was glad to see that they got new beds.

hb
11

slutty_whore

Posted July 22, 2006 at 6:52 am

EdHill, YOU couldn’t be more wrong about Angela’s behavior! I mean, come on! She tries to glom on to Kayne and coast to an easy victory, and when she can’t, she sabotages Vincent’s effort. He may be a mental case, but Tara and Nina liked his dress, despite Angela’s lack of effort. Angela should have went home because the TASK WAS ABOUT TEAMWORK, which Malan and his partner had! The only good thing to come out of this is that Angela has been found out to be a fraud and she will probably be gone in a week or two.

Alison Kelly is my dark horse to win the whole thing!
12

kristin_d_l

Posted July 22, 2006 at 7:56 am

That was the most depressing reality tv exit I’ve ever seen.
13

EdHill

Posted July 22, 2006 at 7:58 am

Put in my place by a slutty_whore.

Story of my life….
14

EdHill

Posted July 22, 2006 at 8:01 am

ANd LQ I don’t dress like a caveman. I dres Like Captain Caveman.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to compete in this weeks Laff-A-Lympics.
15

Lizardqueen

Posted July 22, 2006 at 8:06 am

EdHill, when I picture you all I see is Fred Flintstone. Minus the classy tie.
16

Sweet_Mullet

Posted July 22, 2006 at 8:12 am

It was interesting to see how Mrs. Mullet and I differed on this episode. I put the blame squarely on Vincent for being a complete tool and not allowing Angela to do anything. My wife just kept calling Angela a bitch and saying she needed to go. I seems like the posts here have that same gender breakdwon.
17

herkxena

Posted July 22, 2006 at 8:20 am

The minute I saw that the hem on Milan’s dress wasn’t sewn, I knew he was the next to be “auffed”.
18

Dr. Grissom

Posted July 22, 2006 at 8:22 am

I think I will miss Malan. I feel like his “prick” demeanor was maybe just a defense mechanism, and just as he was starting to get comfortable and warm up he was booted.

As far as the Angela/Vincent debate, I am on Team Vincent, if only because I feel like he is mentally unstable, while Angela is just a bitch. I think that someone with a little tact and one or two people skills could have worked WITH Vincent, maybe talking him out of some of his weirder ideas, while Angela instead started antagonizing him from the moment the challenge began (probably from annoyance at blatantly being picked last). I mean, the woman clearly wasn’t interested in doing any work–no sketches? But sketches were, um, part of the assignment!–and then was bitter that she couldn’t coast through. It would have served her right to be eliminated. (Personally, I haven’t found anything I’ve seen from her yet particularly interesting, or even attractive.)

Secretly though, I’m rooting for Laura to win.
19

Danny Aged

Posted July 22, 2006 at 8:38 am

Vincent is crazier than Angela is a bitch. And that dress did make the model look like a space cadet. And it was puke green. Vincent is the worst kind of drama queen.

He should have gone.

Poor Malan. Poor, poor Malan. Alone in his cave with his cadre of multicutural models.
20

brilliantmistake

Posted July 22, 2006 at 8:39 am

I was surprised they eliminated Malan, even though he had the worst dress. They gave Santino plenty of passes on bad dresses, because he had potential. I’ll miss that fake accent.

Also, why did Angela say she had never designed a gown when she was blathering on in her audition video about making dresses that were mistaken for Oscar de la Renta. Did she mean she could only copy gowns?
21

zevonia

Posted July 22, 2006 at 8:47 am

“All I could think when poor pathetic Malan was tearing up with shame was his mother sitting home and screaming in her Grey Goose soaked best “I told you so you little faggot!!!!!!”" Lizardqueen, you crack me up! You are so right. Poor guy but the dress was the worst of the bunch. Personally,I think a case could have been made for sending Uli home as Miss USA said she didn’t want a plunging neckline and that neckline definitely plunged.
I thought Laura and Michael’s dress was the best though Kayne’s looked the most pageant like (gee, I wonder why that was?).
Considering what Vincent did last time, I was really surprised at how nice this looked. I didn’t like the sleeves either but the color was nice. Of course, it also has a plunging neckline so Vincent didn’t listen to Miss USA either!
As for the whole teamwork thing, designers are divas and asking them to work together is asking for trouble. Not that any reality show wants trouble, of course. While Angela was trying to coast, Vincent didn’t make any effort to work with her so he had no teamwork either. I don’t see Vincent or Angela winning this competition but it’s fun watching them try!
22

TexasK

Posted July 22, 2006 at 9:31 am

Damn reality TV show editing. I wanted Malan gone last week, no questions asked. Now this week they go and make him human. Bastards. Maybe they’ll bring him back when this freakin’ scandal they’ve been plugging forever happens and they have to send someone home. If not, he’ll be back, I’m sure. He’ll be the Daniel of PR 4.

Keith is one pervy, creepy dude. I thought he was gonna lick Miss USA.
23

elljay8

Posted July 22, 2006 at 9:36 am

Malan’s crying and his confession that he’d never had many friends made me feel really guilty for calling him out as a freak the past couple of weeks. Now I feel like a bad person… OK, I’m over it.

Angela is a Bitch and should have gone home. And while empire waist is often pronounced with a French accent (making it sound more like ahmpire), she is from quote, unquote Hicksville, OH and pronounced it like an asshole trying to sound cultured with a French accent. Which is why it sounded like she said umpire. I hate her.

And Uli needs to change it up or go soon, because so far the dress that she herself wore to the audition, the dress she designed in the first challenge, and the pageant dress have all been essentially the same design with different fabric. She’s boring.
24

JBJS

Posted July 22, 2006 at 10:08 am

My $.02 on the Vincent/Angela debate:

I spent most of the episode thinking Vincent was the prick. He refused to let Angela participate at all. How can it be her fault if she didn’t even contibute? While it was clear to me that Angela sucked (I disliked her immediately after watching her audition video, and more so after her failed attempt to latch onto Kayne), Vincent seemed to be the one to blame.

However, when they got in front of the judges, all she did was tear Vincent and the dress down. She was so harsh about the dress that the judges felt the need to actually defend it. And even then, she wouldn’t stop arguing about how terrible it was. Either defend the dress or defend yourself for not having had the opportunity to contribute. Pointing out every flaw to the judges was lame. She should have been auf’ed for that alone.
25

hannahthehun

Posted July 22, 2006 at 10:22 am

I think they are both incompetent and neither one will last long. But when it comes down to it, the challenge was to design a dress, I imagine it was turned into a team event because it’s very labor intensive to make a pageant dress and they would all need the help. Top designers aren’t supposed to be team players they’re supposed to be team leaders, so in that respect both of them sucked.
26

maybeimamazed02

Posted July 22, 2006 at 10:35 am

My thoughts:

Prettiest dress: Laura and Michael (although Miss USA did expressly say “no white”…oh well). So far, these two are my favorite–she’s not the best dresser but has good ideas, and he’s great at construction and seems creative and willing to learn.

Then again, I don’t know what to look for in a pageant dress–I wasn’t too fond of the winner, but then again, it might look great on stage, from a distance. My sister and I were saying that maybe pageant gowns are like dance costumes: you choose them for the effect they’ll have on an audience (at a distance from you on stage), rather than for how they look up close.

I really thought Katherine would go home, as she’s more boring (at least thus far). Malan was totally humanized AND did the classy thing by saying HE should be eliminated, and therefore I’m kinda sad to see the little greaseball go.

About Vincent and Angela: yes, he’s a nutjob and isn’t going to last much longer. But: he did do an actual SKETCH, and the finished product wasn’t the worst by far; AND I think he would’ve let her help if she hadn’t acted like such a bee-otch and verbally ripped apart everything he was doing. Also, maybe she should have been more persistent with wanting to help–when you’re partner’s in la-la land already, it probably wouldn’t hurt to clearly state that it’s your project too.
IMHO, Angela should have been the one to go. How far will a designer get if she DOESN’T SKETCH? I mean, you don’t have to be GREAT at it, but I imagine it would be pretty important 1) for your own reference when you’re constructing, and 2) when you really are pitching to someone who wants you to custom make them a dress.

Back to studying for me (groan).
27

derder

Posted July 22, 2006 at 10:42 am

I felt really terible for Malan. I hate seeing a man cry- it puts me over the edge. When he said “I don’t have any friends and I don’t fit in anywhere” I felt so bad for the guy! (not to mention that I feel like a raging bitch for saying mean things about him in the forums). Some people looked genuinely sad to see him go, however. So I am hoping he made some friends here. (God, co-dependent, much?)
I don’t really know a thing about designing and creating clothes, but I do know that in almost all visual arts classes you always sketch first, and then create your project (whether it’s storyboarding, sketching, whatever). I think by her not sketching first, the dress can turn out a million different ways (because she never had to nail down exactly how it would look) and it is no skin off of her back, She never committed to a certain design, and that seems unfair to me. Does anyone know what in the hell I am talking about? Here is what I am trying to say… She is thinking whimsical and playful- as she’s working on it, the dress starts to look more severe and conservative, so she changes her whole game plan and no one knows because she doesn’t have a sketch she should be following. There! That’s what I was trying to say.
And for this, I think she should get the boot.
28

d-fly

Posted July 22, 2006 at 11:09 am

I think EdHill has written the funniest recap of any show I have ever read on TVGasm (and that’s saying a lot because I love B-Side’s sense of humor).
The picture of the shit-monster had me laughing out loud—-and I am not normally one for potty-humor! Pretty damn funny though-
EdHill, I think you are the PERFECT person to recap this show- we don’t need a “fashion expert” we need someone who writes what we were all thinking during the show. This website is like talking about the show with a hundred of your funniest friends!
29

derder

Posted July 22, 2006 at 11:34 am

And yeah, btw- Ed- the shit monster was just about the funniest fucking thing I have ever seen.
30

Lizardqueen

Posted July 22, 2006 at 12:29 pm

Can we talk about Vera Wang’s bangs? They look just like when a three year old discovers the glory of scissors. What is that all about?
31

ceenee

Posted July 22, 2006 at 1:48 pm

maybe it was the magic of editing, but we only saw Angela trashing the dress, not defending herself for not being allowed to assist Vincent. I thought he was acting like a spoiled brat the entire time and I too would have been seething if I were his partner and had to just sit back and watch him blunder about. He was no team player and should have been called out on it too.

I also felt sad for Malan, knew his arrogance was a defense mechanism from the get-go. But the dress was definitely worse than Vincent’s, and it was the right decision to send him home over his partner.
32

stacyrocks

Posted July 22, 2006 at 1:50 pm

Poor Malan, that goodbye interview was sad. He has no friends!! He cried! His mom is a mean old nasty bitch! I felt bad for him. But DAMN, that dress was hideous. He did deserve to be Auf’d. EdHill, that shit monster pic is hilarious. I laughed out loud too, at work. Good thing not a lot of employees are here today.

Anyways, I might check out the Miss Universe pageant Sunday night to see what the final product of that Kayne dress looks like.
33

KateMcV

Posted July 22, 2006 at 2:50 pm

For someone so into fashion, you should know how to pronounce the terms. Even if you pronounced it the American way, it’s “empire” (like Empire Strikes Back). Don’t go all French with the first syllable then American with the second, you just sound stupid!

I was torn over which should go home, but I’m sure Angela will be gone soon enough since she can’t sew or sketch.
34

anniedawg25

Posted July 22, 2006 at 3:25 pm

Although Milan was pretty creepy …I definatley thought Angela should have gone this week.
And the sob story he told at the end really made me wish he stayed! Poor guy! Anyway, I do agree with other posters here, Angela really didn’t make any effort whatsoever with Vincent. just kind of washed her hands of him and the project as soon as he called her “Alicia”! At least Milan and his partner worked somewhat well together, and he fully took the blame of the horridness of the dress, and he definatley has potential in the future.
Ahhhh oh well. Just another example of the road Project Runway seems to be taking lately…”kick off the less interesting and more talented people and opt for max drama”.

By the way, Vincent is the most neruotic Italian I have ever seen. He rivals Woody Allen.
35

anonym.

Posted July 22, 2006 at 5:16 pm

biancaneve- i’m not sure what the twist is, but i heard keith ripped some of his design ideas from an elle website or something like that. say it with me, “SCAND A LOUSSSSSSS!”

and little known fact: tara connor, miss USA, is apparently only 5’5″…she looks a lot much taller on tv
36

antebellum

Posted July 22, 2006 at 5:16 pm

I’m actually quite sad to see Malan go. Not only for his talk of having few friends and being shot down by his mother (he seemed like a good guy), but he was pretty much the only “character” on this season–well, likable character (let’s not forget Vincent). And I think if his dress hadn’t been brown (stupid Miss USA wanting earth tones) it wouldn’t have been as hideous. Poor guy. I will miss him.

Not really sure who to blame on the Vincent/Angela issue. They’re both quite crazy, I think we can safely say that.

Great recap, Ed. The picture and caption of Keith and the shit monster made my stomach hurt. In a good way. I guess.
37

tvtvtv

Posted July 22, 2006 at 5:56 pm

LQ seriously…apparently hideous bangs the new way to say “I am a very important and extremely edgy designer.”

Okay, what was up with pageant-girl’s choices? Was it just me, or did she choose a bunch of people who gave really scary presentations?

Clearly Vincent is on his way somewhere with straight-jackets and tapioca pudding. But his self-imposed restraining order was the BEST. There are a few people I really want to say that to: “Okay, you need to stay three feet away from me now.”

Angela’s a pain but the word to describe her is in no way “feminazi”…I was somewhat confused/offended by that.

Anyway to send Malan home, the judges blatantly turned a blind eye to the fact that at least two teams ignored the clients wishes – NO WHITE and NO BOOBS! – and Angela did zero work on purpose. That bites.
38

anonym.

Posted July 22, 2006 at 6:38 pm

keith now fills the “creepy relative that nobody invites to family outings, but he somehow finds out about them” void that my dear santino left behind last season.

and i agree that malan should not have been eliminated. angela pisses me off already, with those flaring nostrils and lack of effort…she looks a bit like kara from last season

i must admit that i do like jeffrey, though he’s kind of a pompous ass, and i also like robert because his dress in the first challenge was adorable. sadly, no real favorites like nick last season
39

conrad5

Posted July 22, 2006 at 9:28 pm

The PR people have been pimping this whole scandal thing pretty hard. I hope they deliver the goods and expose some shocking, egregious offense…like one of the male contestants revealing that he’s straight. ALL design is somewhat derivative, so I don’t know how they can bust someone for copying something from a magazine or website.

I wonder if Jeffery the giraffe realizes that the word “Feminazi” was popularized by Rush Limbo. I don’t see those two hanging out at the same country club.
40

biancaneve

Posted July 23, 2006 at 2:16 am

antebellum – I have to agree – if Malan’s dress had been a pretty color instead of brown, it wouldn’t have looked nearly so ugly and heavy. I’m sorry he’s gone and only consoled by the thought that Angela and Vincent will be leaving soon also. If it had been a team elimination, I’m sure they would have been the ones to go.
41

ceenee

Posted July 23, 2006 at 6:02 am

I read somewhere (that Chicago Tribune interview with Tim Gunn? I forget) that someone kept sabotaging the other designers by messing with their sewing machines or something like that
42

sutton925

Posted July 23, 2006 at 8:55 am

http://community.livejournal.com/ohnotheydidnt/7660806.html

Here is a link to what the scandal is most likely about.
43

sutton925

Posted July 23, 2006 at 8:58 am

Sorry…posted too soon. Keith does have some sort of rebuttal at the end but the sketches still looky mighty suspicious to me.
44

heehaw

Posted July 23, 2006 at 9:39 am

project runway just lost an incredible character. yes malan’s dress was a bomb, but at least he tried. they chose to keep the wicked witch of the west for drama effect, it was obvious she did nothing. i will miss malan.
ps. tim gunn is a prick, he could have helped direct malan, he didn’t even notice the unfinished bottom of the gown. he lost all credibility after bad mouthing santino.
45

slutty_whore

Posted July 23, 2006 at 12:45 pm

This is becoming a trend for our little PR… keeping the drama for max effect in favor of talent, which is fine because it is a TV SHOW. I mean, if there was no Wendy Pepper to annoy the masses, would Mr. Santino Rice come into our lives? So, let us bow in honor to our dear Ms. Pepper for screwing over Kevin Johnn and (who she really told the truth about because he had no leadership ability) and our dear Austin Scarlett (who was going to be successful after the show anyway) and enjoy her going down in flames, in much the same fashion as Santino. The cream will rise to the top and, ultimately, the real battle will be between two designers, the last one being dragged along for dramatic effect.
46

Tati

Posted July 23, 2006 at 1:53 pm

Two things—I thot the beauty queen said she was one of the SHORTEST contestants, that that’s y she wanted a dress to elongate her? (at 5.5, that would make more sense)

also, the promos they aired last week that refer to the scandal where Tim Gunn is shown saying ‘we’re goin’ to have to ask u 2 leave’ are shown during ‘this SEASON on Project Runway’, not during the previews for the next episode so it’s hard to tell when the scandal incident will air.

pr Malan. Tim Gunn said in his blog that this should send a message out that contestants are NOT kept on solely based on personality (oh really? how does that explain Santino thn?) Nywys, Vincent (Woody Allen + Rick Moranis) is crazy but Angela is 1 annoying bitch who can’t even sketch, that’s almost as bad as not knowing how 2 use the sewing machine!
47

sugarshane12

Posted July 23, 2006 at 2:08 pm

Everyone keeps saying that because Angela doesn’t do sketches, she should be the one to go home, as a designer who doesn’t do sketches isn’t much of a designer. But remember in the finale last season, when Tim Gunn visited Chloe, she told him that she “doesn’t do sketches,” and that she lets everything come naturally.

Regardless, Angela is still a manipulative bitch, and was probably afraid to show Tara a sketch for fear it would be rejected.
48

sugarshane12

Posted July 23, 2006 at 2:13 pm

And you’re right Tati. Remember the “I’m not your bitch, BITCH,” line from Top Chef that we kept anticipating every episode, and didn’t get until more than halfway through the season. This scandal might be awhile off. Damn Bravo.
49

tvtvtv

Posted July 23, 2006 at 5:25 pm

Tati (#26), you’re right, she said she was second-smallest…I think that was just a typo in the recap. (PS, your posts crack me up, they’re like really long text messages!)
50

The Svan

Posted July 23, 2006 at 7:39 pm

Well, she wore it tonight without major alterations.
51

jelodi97

Posted July 24, 2006 at 5:20 am

I felt terrible when Malan was eliminated. I agree with some of the other posters in that his initial arrogance was a defense mechanism. I wish they’d given him a pass and eliminated the two loons instead. Vincent and Angela deserved each other. But I’d say that V is worse. He couldn’t cope with giving Angela something to do. How is he supposed to have a successful business if he can’t manage people?

I’ve got Michael as the one who will sneak in under the radar. That guy’s got a lot of talent.

We’ll miss you Malan.
52

colemala

Posted July 24, 2006 at 8:01 am

Is it me or does the evening gown Miss USA wore in the Miss Universe contest look nothing like the one she chose??

http://www.missuniverse.com/delegates/2006/files/US-photo-gown.html
53

wendyloohoo

Posted July 24, 2006 at 8:56 am

I haven’t found a good close up of the dress, but if you check out the slide show from the Boston Globe’s online addition today you can see it was Kayne’s dress.

http://www.boston.com/ae/tv/gallery/miss_universe_final_look/
http://www.boston.com/ae/tv/gallery/miss_universe_final_look?pg=16
http://www.boston.com/ae/tv/gallery/miss_universe_final_look?pg=20
http://www.boston.com/ae/tv/gallery/miss_universe_final_look?pg=22
54

Laurie

Posted July 24, 2006 at 9:47 am

Ah so she used it in the interview section. Is it just me or does it lay across her tummy at little funny?

As for the whole Malan v. vincent thing, they both rub me the wrong way, but I think that Malan is kind of starting out on his fashion career, where it feels like Vincent is trying to jump start something that failed (and for good reason) Isn’t he married and have kids? *shudder* Anyways, Malan would have progressed through the show I think whereas we all know that vincent’s days are numbered.

And Laura scares me.
55

stacyrocks

Posted July 24, 2006 at 11:15 am

So I must admit, I watched Miss Universe last night and Tara/Miss USA did wear the dress Kayne & Robert made. It looked great on her and totally made her look taller. It was the same, I think they only fixed the back by adding the same ‘jewelry’ detail to be consistent with the front. She wore it for the evening gown portion of the show (the contestants keep that on until the winner is crowned). Lame Sean of Apprentice 5 and freaking SANTINO were judges!! Gotta love the blatant Trump & NBC-ness. Such a legitimate contest.
56

KristinMichelle

Posted July 24, 2006 at 11:55 am

This was the first Project Runway episode I have ever seen (I know, I know…) and I am ready to comment! Angela should have been tossed out on her little tutu ass. What a manipulative woman! Vincent seems to be quite eccentric and crazy, but I don’t blame him for telling her to stay out of his way. From the beginning of the designing process, she did not even want to TRY to sketch a gown because she was too busy trying to buddy up with Kayne. Obviously if she was the last person to be picked as a partner, there is something wrong with this person. Only due to poor luck did Vincent get stuck with her and it seemed he was well aware that she did not want to take any initiative on the assignment. Suddenly when it was time to start the construction of the gown, she started insulting his design, saying how it looked like something she designed in college. I thought she said she had never designed a gown before… I also feel bad for Malan because while his dress looked like lumpy fungus on his poor model, he had by far the most ambitious design. PS: I saw this morning that Miss USA took 4th runner up in the Miss Universe pageant and she did in fact have on Kayne’s design.
57

hardly@work

Posted July 24, 2006 at 12:26 pm

I thought Ms. USA’s dress bowed out in the back, ity was nothing compared to Ms. Puerto Rico’s- the chains!—

I’m hoping Malan gets to return when they kick off ____ for copying designs, they let Andrea return to Top Chef, so fingers crossed—bring Malan back!!!!!

Vincent vs. Angela– Team Vincent
58

AbbyAnn

Posted July 24, 2006 at 1:04 pm

I, too, tuned in for the end of the Miss Universe pageant just to see if she did wear the dress. I was glad to see she did. It looked good for a pageant, although I couldn’t see someone wearing that dress to anything else (except a high school prom, maybe.)
59

Tati

Posted July 24, 2006 at 1:31 pm

# 57, hardly said: “I’m hoping Malan gets to return when they kick off ____ for copying designs, they let Andrea return to Top Chef, so fingers crossed—bring Malan back!!!!!”

THAT would be a great idea, i hope they do that! altho i did see Malan on Good AM America or 1 of those shows, talking abt his ouster fr the show, would that matter if he does come back?

“Vincent vs. Angela– Team Vincent”

me, too!! Vincent no piece of cake, but u can prolly chaulk it up to him being crazy, whereas Angela is just plain ANNOYING. pr Kayne, the look on his face whn Ang. was hounding him said it all!

tvtvtv—funny u mention text messages b/c i don’t even have a cellphone! the word shortcuts evolved fr lengthy emails.
60

anonym.

Posted July 24, 2006 at 2:54 pm

jelodi97- i think you’re right about michael…he’s a solid designer. my prediction is that ula will win the whole thing. she’s had great designs for the past 2 challenges, but has gone relatively under the radar as well, especially in the first challenge- her dress was great
61

chico timido

Posted July 24, 2006 at 4:32 pm

OMG! Although I think Malan is a pretentious asswipe and his dress showed it… I don’t think he deserved to go home. I mean come on… Satanino from last season was given chances time and time again for over-designing or getting too damn creative. WTF?! And that BITCH, Angela… Alison.. whatever… needs to go home. She is no Feminazi… SHE IS THE GUNK AT THE BOTTOM OF GARBAGE CANS!
62

dsc805

Posted July 24, 2006 at 9:16 pm

Does (did) Malan remind anyone else of Dr. Evil? The jacked up accents. Being raised by a callous mother in Taiwan (vs. the summers in Rangoon). As you read Dr. Evil’s description of his childhood, you can almost hear Malan’s voice:

“The details of my life are quite inconsequential… very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we’d make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum… it’s breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.”
63

juddfan

Posted July 25, 2006 at 1:36 pm

Thanks for the laughs all, esp. you Edhill–oh how I loved bazoombas and the shit monster . . . in the end, I too feel bad for Malan’s ouster, and I do think angela was a using beee-otch, she didn’t do a sketch because she didn’t want to lead a team, still hoping to link up with a winner . . . lame . . . and vincent is too freaky for his own good, he seems the spastic, “I’m an artist” type, yet he’s lacking in thought or self control.

“Sew the hem, Bitch!” is what I would have said, and “shut up while you do it!”

I saw the pagent end and I thought Miss Japan was robbed. Tara’s dress was okay, but the hair–did she do it herself last minute, it was bad and brassy!

So great to see you back, LQ!
64

KatiesHole

Posted July 25, 2006 at 1:39 pm

Are there any screen caps of Tara from the pagaent? I’d love to see how she looked in the winning dress.

Oddly enough, the judges told Milan many of the same things they told Santino, yet he got to stay to the end of the show! Milan got robbed!

Cooter! There I said it…

KH
65

juddfan

Posted July 25, 2006 at 1:43 pm

KH, you are always such a riot!

There’s a whole site on the internet with all the contestants and their various outfits–note the hair, I must say I preferred the ash blonde she had on the PR . . .
66

Loo

Posted July 26, 2006 at 8:50 am

Angela got a raw deal. The editing for this show was clearly biased, intent on making someone into a demon. I didn’t see Angela doing anything other than trying to come up with combinations that would work–a workable team, a workable dress, etc.

You guys are really buying into the fake drama of this show.

I, too, thought Malan should not have had to leave. But Angela’s behavior was misrepresented.
67

kallies920

Posted July 26, 2006 at 7:02 pm

Nobody noticed how Miss USA tried to be a gay man at the end when she said with a full head tilt and snap that she’s going to “work that gown?” Of course the damn thing looks like an 80s prom dress. I really love Kayne and pageant wear is not my favorite genre of clothing. I can’t imagine what I’d wear if I were walking down a pageant aisle but I can imagine it would probably be something that looked like cotton candy with a necklace, I guess. But Tara Conner herself bugged the shit out of me and she wouldn’t know fashion if it hit her in the aw shucks southern accent, Farah Fawcett hairstyle. I was pissed that one of the flowier ones didn’t win. And re: Mulan, well, that’s a shame. The guy at least put an effort forward to create something unique. He certainly isn’t the most annoying designer ever. I honestly think Angela came away from the whole thing with no accountability. Whenever she appeared in the establishing scenes she skirted any real effort or work. She didn’t make a sketch, she said that she didn’t have any ideas regarding gowns and she tried everything she could to undermine crazy Vincent. Whether we like him or not (which I don’t) and whether Angela liked him or not, he was the boss in the challenge. I didn’t think she made his craziness any less crazy. She could have helped him and saved face. Perhaps Feminazi is a horrible statement but she was pretty bitchy and stupid.
68

Mehitabel

Posted July 27, 2006 at 11:54 am

I, too, think Angela was set up. It’s interesting how so many of the women posting here are willing to overlook very bad behavior in Vince and Malan–those poor damaged darlings–but get terribly uprighteous about a female designer who says what she thinks. Girls, it’s OK to question your boss–especially when his last design involved a basket for a hat.
69

Pennywhistler

Posted July 27, 2006 at 3:03 pm

Never saw the show before. With God’s help I never will again.

What makes a good pagaent gown? Dunno. They didn’t tell us. All I know is that you don’t use gloves and empire waists. (She DID say “umpire”, BTW.) How do you think through such a challenge? Dunno. They didn’t say.

Is $300 enough for fabric? Dunno. Can anybody design anything worthwhile in 30 minutes? Doesn’t seem like it — it took me that long to write THIS sorry post.

They all buy fabric and all of a sudden it’s a dress. How the hell did they DO that? THAT would be interesting! How did that clown make fabric look like a log, anyway? Dunno.

She didn’t want people to look at her boobs when she jiggled down the runway – she wanted them to look at HER. Noble and cool. So why didn’t anybody say ONE WORD about that brown peek-a-boo! look-at-my-boobs-hanging-out-of-my-gown gown that guy made? Why didn’t HE go home?

Howcum they only showed each completed dress for, like, 3 seconds?

Angela. ANGELA! She got off the funniest line of the night – I moved one-and-a-half feet back, now YOU move one-and-a-half feet back! Both an offer to meet the crazy guy half-way, and an acknowledgement that it was never gonna happen. The last time someone said that to me we both fell down laughing for five minutes. That’s when I knew Vincent was dangerous.

How could you get rid of Angela? She’s the worst-dressed elephant in the entire circus! (And I lived through the Sixties AND the Eighties!) That should be enough to keep her around a few more weeks!

Two quick questions – the George Jetson sleves on Vincent’s dress. Wuzupwidat? The Miss Universe or Miss Out-Of-The-Universe contest?

Did the judges merely hear Vincent Van Go-Go’s claim that Angela ruined him for women forever, or were they privy to her many attempts to help? And why didn’t she mention the ongoing brush-off when the conversation got around to teamwork?
70

Pennywhistler

Posted July 27, 2006 at 3:52 pm

Is this a personality contesy or a design contest? Who cares if Angela’snostrils flare if she is the best candidate for whatever it is they are driving for?

A reward which they never mentioned even once, by the way.

Whatthe hell – I hope she wins. Maybe I’ll get to see her nostrils flare.
71

RockitGuy

Posted July 28, 2006 at 7:16 am

Y the henfest on Angie? Vincent sucks.