Project Runway: Fat People Abuse

Recaps

By Flipit | Friday, September 3, 2010 | 1:20 am | 59 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Featured, Project Runway, Recaps

Previously, Tim rolled his head and snapped his fingers in circles and told Wretch off in words I don’t understand cuz I didn’t go to college.

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Thufferin thuccitash mothatruckas!

Also, this happened:

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LOL!

We open tonight with Knit Michael girl whining about his accommodations.

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“You think this is hard? Try living with Hepatitis! THAT’S hard!”-Sue Sylvester

Mondo asks Passanova if he feels like a winner. Stop talking to him so he can iron his head. Otherwise he’s gonna show up to the runway looking like he’s wearing a Sharpei Puppy hat.

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I don’t think Passy understood the question, cuz he goes on and on about what it’s like being a wiener. He’s just glad that his wiener has immunity. Someone needs to explain that he hasn’t been given an immune wiener or he’s gonna be barebacking half the town by sundown.

Over at the girls’ place, Peach and April talk about how terrible Chunky Michael is while Peach caulks her eyes and sands her wattle.

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Has anyone seen my concrete mixer?

Chunky Mike tells us that he doesn’t know who his friends are anymore.

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A: No one but the stale ass Doritos on the crafts services table. Sad horns.


He whines to Trandy about everyone hating him. Clips of everyone hating him. Wretch wakes up miserable too. Clip of Tim telling her off. She insists that she’s not manipulative and talks in baby voice so we’ll believe her. Cuz babies aren’t manipulative at all.

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Oh wah. Get a fucking job you needy tadpole. My boobs aren’t a buffet.

Hivy is, of course, now totally against Wretch. In a whispery way of course. She’s already died once on this show.

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Mother of God! She’s aliiiiiive!

Fat Bitch comes out wearing glitter, which makes her look like a giant disco ball. Fat people? Shouldn’t wear glitter.

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Hey Heidi, try eating fingernails for lunch. You’re embarrassing yourself.

Speaking of fat bitches dressed horribly, today is a real person ie: fat challenge!! YAAAAYYY!!! It’s so distressing that Trandy goes into cover the crater mode.

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You know the heifers are just as horrified at the site of her, but they have MANNERS.

He insists he’s just horrified because of the hideous dresses they’re wearing, and he’s not wrong on that. This line pretty much sums up why no woman is happy when she finds out one of her bffs is getting married.

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If you really love me, you’ll be uglier than me on my big day. Now give me five hundred dollars, throw me a party and shut your piehole.

 

The challenge is to turn the dresses into something the girls would want to wear again. The bridesmaids are pretty funny about how hideous their dresses are. Non Zombie Asian says “if you’ll notice, I have a giant bow on my chest.” This makes Hivy hungry. Poor Non Zombie will be lucky to make it out of here alive.

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Passy gets to pick first, so he takes the skinniest one. The next skinniest one goes next, and so on. These people are shameless. Poor big girls! Mondo gets tricked though. He picks a thinnish girl with a creme stripe down her butt. Like that’s gonna stop him from making this entire dress into a jester unitard with a hipster jacket and plastic sunglasses.

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You’ll never guess who the last to be picked is.

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Just like dodgeball. And softball. And basketball. And Scrabble. That’s not even a team sport! Where’s the pantry in this dump?

Ah well, it all evens out. The big girl is always picked first by gay dudes when it’s time to go out and drink and make fun of people. How many times in his life do you think Mondo has been asked to leave Forever 21?

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Sir, this is a Christian establishment. Put the leggings down and back away slowly.

Tim comes in to make fun of the dresses and tell them they can only use up to two yards of additional fabric. Since the tell off, everyone’s super kiss assy today. Trandy even goes as far as doing his nasty tranny dance he uses to pay the bills on Santa Monica Blvd.

Trandy-Dance

Christopher’s model got skerd and quit, so he’s given a new one. Another regular person with a fug dress. This one, luckily, is thin. You can tell even before you see her cuz of his face:

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The problem with skinny bitches is…well, a problem with skinny bitches is, they don’t use their mouths for eating. They use them for TALKING. April chose a stick and now has to listen to her prattle on about her ideas. Hey. I’ve got an idea. Eat. Comb your hair. Buy a sweater. I don’t care what you do. Just STFU. April’s gonna make you a very absorbent pair of diapers and you’re gonna like em!

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So I was thinking the pleats could be the inner lining in case you laugh so hard you pee at a cocktail party. No? Um…ok. How bout in case you laugh so hard you pee at a company picnic. No? A baseball game? No? DAMN THIS IS HARD.

Chunky Mike promises his real model sophistication. And who wouldn’t believe him? Just look at him.

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Sophistication


Peach takes her sketch time to teach her model how to walk. Unfortunately, she put too much mortar on her neck this morning and her head almost falls off.

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Do everything but that part.


Knit Mike says that when you have to make clothes for a fat chick lots of stuff goes wrong. His sketch is just a big circle.

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So rude.

Let’s go to Mood! Everyone starts to leave, but Knit Mike just stares at his giant dress form and complains about calories and stuff. When he gets to Mood, he decides that the best plan of action is to hide his model so no one sees her lumbering down the runway. He’ll buy upholstery fabric! You don’t think Nina will have a problem saying a couch looks fat? You got another thing coming, buddy.

Back at the workroom, he tells Wretch that he loves his models chunkiness and just wants her to feel good about herself when she’s put in the greenroom for people to sit on. Wretch quietly agrees and doesn’t manipulate him at all. Chunky Mike is trying to figure how to make this ugly bridesmaids dress even uglier, and Passy pats him way too hard and yells “see? Jew ees so taylandad!” How does being complimented by Passy feel, Chunk?

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WAAAAHHHHH!!!!

Trandy and Other Asian (Or Other Puerto Rican. Damn interbreeding I just can’t tell anymore) Valerie talk about how they want to like Chunk but they just can’t respect him as a designer. Ok Valerie makes the same thing every week and Trandy has his tiny nuts taped into his butt crack. Raise of hands for how many of you respect their hack asses? I’m waiting. No one. See?

The editors have started tricking us with the Sidekick of Doom calls to home. First they changed the phone to a Droid something instead of a Sidekick. Then they changed it so the person who calls home doesn’t get sent packing. And now they’re getting rid of the phone altogether so we can see the satanic woman that dropped out Wretchen.

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Honey have you made anyone hate you today? Good girl!

Wretch wahs about how life is more than fashion and she wants to go home where she can wear her bikini tops and split ends in peace. Her mom tells her to grow a pair, go to the dressing room, put on a full face of whore makeup, and give everyone who doesn’t ask for it her opinion.

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I raised you to be frigid and obnoxious so I’ll have someone to take care of me when I’m old. Don’t let me down, you dry ended hippie!

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Aw!


Christopher tells us that his heart broke for Wretch when Tim told her off cuz she doesn’t have a malicious bone in her body. Controlling bones? Malnourished hippie bones? Fake cry throw fat people under the bus bones? Yes. But otherwise she’s super sweet. Tim comes in and Wretch puts on her pasty hurt frowny face.

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Pasty hurt frowny face.

Tim answers with his “I drank too much and got plowed by a busboy and want to pretend no one saw me” face.

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I drank too much and got plowed by a busboy and want to pretend no one saw me face.


She answers with the “I’m just gonna imitate your face and stay quiet so you don’t go all Wendy Williams on me again” face.

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I’m just gonna imitate your face and stay quiet so you don’t go all Wendy Williams on me again face.


He says that her umbre effect is great but the whole piece is too athletic. She says that his critique set off firecrackers of knowledge off in her head, and he says he’s here to help cuz he feels so close to them all. WTF? Hit her! He walks away gargling salt and garlic water. She tells us that a scar can turn into an open wound if you don’t let it heal. And an a-hole can turn into an absolute gash if you don’t tell it off. Aw, learning!

Chunky Mike is next. His model wanted a lace top and velvet side panels. Tim shudders and tells him the whole thing is terrible.

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The “I Promised Myself I Wouldn’t Swallow” face.

 

Do you guys wanna know what Zombie Hivy has to say about Chunk’s work? Me neither. FF. Knit tells Tim that he wanted to change the shape but he didn’t know how to cover all this….he almost said fat heifer slut cake biatch but stopped himself. Tim says it’s an honor to make someone who’s not a size zero feel pretty and Knit asks if he can just send her a nice card attached to a box of Twinkies instead. He hasn’t done anything to the dress but add some couch fabric to the boob area. Well he says it’s upholstery. It looks like a window screen. He’s in troubs.

Mondo’s doing a pretty badass Pink Ladies dress which of course Tim loves. He says he sings “Summer Lovin” to his hairbrush every night before he masturbates and goes to bed. Mondo’s like “um………” Peach complains that she doesn’t like her pattern. What’s not to like? It’s Laura Ashley flower old lady couch print. My ass you don’t like it. Maybe if it was like bright orange or something.

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Hivy tells Tim that her model wants to show off everything, and he says she should just make her a thong. Hivy laughs twitchily and then continues sketching while chowing down on GayJ’s calf. Tim hands her a paper towel and moves on. He loves what Passy’s doing! Kiss of death. I think he’s just being nice cuz he heard Passy’s got an immune wiener and let’s face it: Tim Gunn is a dirty whore these days.

Tim takes one look at Trandy’s tranny hooker dress and coos “that’s something I’d go clubbing in.” Keep it in your pants, Gunn. Gay children watch this show.

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Other Asian is making a pink cheerleading uniform.

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Tim says it’s as far away as fashion as you can get. Hee. Tim tells her to just get it presentable enough to not go home. Has he ever given that advice? Congrats on bringing Tim to a new low, OAV! Tim has a surprise! Instead of a runway show there will be a designer showcase with a hundred attendees that will vote on their faves. YAAAAY! Valerie is super afraid of “regular people”, and who can blame her?

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I don’t mean you, sweetie.

 

On a sidenote, you know how gay guys start dressing a certain way and then a couple years straight guys steal our moves? Well, that’s happening in reverse. I blame straight guys for these shirts.

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Reason #437 not to trust straight guys.

And I blame Native Americans for this look.

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Reason #589 not to trust Native Americans.

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Reason #984 for big girls not to trust Knit Michael.

April’s twig tries giving her more direction so April punches her in the face. Man things are getting real this season. Chunky Mike has done a pretty good job from the looks of it, but his model is insisting on the lace sleeves. I told you the skinny ones are always a pain in the ass. Here is proof of his not sucking before he goes and possibly ruins his dress:

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Peach cut her dress wrong and begs Mondo for more help. He just stares at her for a long time before agreeing.

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Is your face stuccoed? It’s freaking me out.


The next morning, Wretch is being super nice and telling her roomies to believe in herself and all that crap. Then she gets as bored as we all are and says they’re fine as long as they’re against Peach cuz her work is busted and “I don’t think she even knows who she is anymore!” Well, you hated her stuff before and you hate it now so what’s your point you skank? Besides, Peach totally knows who she is. She’s an adobe house.

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Peach after three hours of face renovation.

Peach knows that she will be in the bottom but there are worse than hers. April says that her model is a little c word and hates her work, but she told the girl to zip it until after the show airs. Time to get ready for the barrage of real people judges!

Knit Mike’s work is fucking hideous, but he talks her into thinking it’s better. It’s so not. It makes her even fatter. That’s just not cool. Man, Tim wasn’t kidding when he said he was bringing in real people. These people are homelier than an actual home.

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Real People

 

I love when real people get a chance to be on reality shows cuz they’re as shitty as possible so they might be featured. Amateur Attention Whores are always good for some entertainment. I hope someone calls Wretch out on her split ends.

At the gallery, Tim says that they need to wow the guests so they’ll get their votes. Peach does it by leaning and waving people over. Everyone looks afraid. Sample lady at Costco? Probably not a good alternate career for Peach.

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Come on! I’ve got grits!

Let’s check out Other Asian Valerie’s work. Before it was ugly and unflattering, and after it’s ugly and unflattering. But now the model has pac man boobs.

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Val says people are being nice but no ones voting for her. Chunky Mike’s dress? I can’t tell if it’s good or if it’s hideous. That means it will probably win cuz that’s FASHION!!! I can say that it’s a zillion times better than Valerie’s dreck.

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Zombie Hivy made, shocker, Banana Republic sale rack cream colored capris. UGH. She’s so fucking terrible. Same. Thing. Every. Week. How many flavors of vanilla can there possibly be? And is that top all out of new fabric? I hope she gets called out on that. She’s not getting many buttons, but mostly cuz she bit off a little girl’s ear right in the beginning and now everyone’s super uncomfortable.

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Wretchen got the hottest model and made her look homeless. I hope Tim comes by and pulls her hair.

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Chunk points out that Wretch’s model has side boobs. Look who’s talking.

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Trandy has done the best so far. His dress is unrecognizable. We don’t get to see his model’s head, but once was enough so thanks editors!

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To prove that trannies can be just as sexist as any other man, Trandy leans over to his real people and says:

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Thanks for the vote, toots.

April kicked some butt on this one too. I can’t believe that’s even the same dress. Unfortunately, the model can’t pee in it, so FAIL.

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I hope there’s a bathroom here or I’m screwed.

Passy’s biggest fan is a fellow Puerto Rican, “ayn node eben cuz weer from da sayme conetree!” Before a couple of weeks ago I had forgotten that Puerto Rico was in America. At least I’m not the only one. The Puerto Ricans don’t even know. Capri pants and a loose top. It’s pretty, but meh.

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Knit Mike is the plain worst here so far. He’s made the term The Biggest Loser un-empowering again. One chunky lady is so offended that she punches the model in the vagina.

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We only see him get one vote, and it’s from a fat chick. She only compliments him on his model. LOL. You’re not voting for fatness. Take a few laps around the building and compose yourself. Peach’s top is kinda maybe cute, but the skirt kills it. There are also these olive pockets hanging off the blouse. Oh, Peach.

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A sweet gay guy tells her she doesn’t look a day over thirty five when she complains about being the oldest. She whips out some handcuffs and puts him in the trunk of her car. I don’t blame her. That guy’s a keeper.

Mondo’s Pink Lady Funeral dress is pretty cute, and he’s getting a lot of votes. For the challenge it’s pretty creative but if I ever saw someone wearing this out I would start sobbing and asking what happened to Frenchie.

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Zombie Hivy is scowling at all the votes Chunk has won. He sees her and tells her to go fuck her dead ass self in the sweetest way possible.

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She runs up to Valerie to tattle tale. Apparently, Chunk has been telling the real people that she’s a zombie bitch and they need to protect their body parts from her. Valerie just nods sympathetically and takes a couple steps back. Hivy’s breath still smells like that little girl’s ear.

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Well he could have given you a shoe that didn’t fit. Consider your blessings.

Valerie has heard that rumor from one of the real people too. LOL! I LOVE IT!!! GO CHUNK! Hivy says it’s totally unprofessional to sabotage her and her design stands for itself. Shot of two pins in her bowl. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. Oh editors, marry me.

Now it’s time for the runway show. Ugh we have to watch this all again? Let’s play my favorite game! Which one of these people is a woman?

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Let’s call it a draw.

That game was a bust, so let’s try and figure out what kind of English Hivy is speaking. “I don’t understand why he’s always trying to pick my buttons.” Wretch says he’s just trying to break her and Hivy says good luck without an axe to the brains. Chunk insists that he never said anything bad about Hivy. I don’t believe him for one second. If I did that would mean that I would be forced to like him less and that’s no fun. Hivy wants to confront him but says he’s not worth her energy. Um, really? Cuz all you’ve done is use your fabulous energy to complain about him to us for the past three or four weeks. I just think she knows that he can take a bigger bite off a person than she can and she’s a giant pussy. Either way, Chunk says that he plans on talking it out with her later. YAY!!

The designers go back to the workroom and get a chance to change stuff. NO FAIR! Tim comes in to tell them that all their real people models will get to take home GLAD products! WOWEE!! Um you guys? Trandy has Sanjaya hair.

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Limited Edition Sanjaya Troll

In the sewing room, Chunk approaches Hivy and denies telling everyone she’s a zombie. He says she can talk to his model if she wants, and she blows him off. She tells us that she’ll let his character speak for itself. Character? LOL Hivy. You have child cartilage in your teeth. When he leaves, Wretch says “why did he come in here and say that in front of all of us?” Um, maybe because you guys are all talking about it behind his back you stupid twat. Knit Mike’s answer is “because he’s an idiot.” And you’re a fat person abuser. I wish Aunt Jemimah was here to beat his ass for stealing her look.

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Aunt FemmeMimah

Hair and makeup time! BREAK! FF. Wretchen trying to teach her buff proud black model how to walk with attitude is…sad. It’s sad. How has she not been punched in the face yet? Mondo tells us in code that Knit Mike had to make a dress for a fat chick and no matter how ugly it is the judges will give him credit for not sending her out with a harpoon sticking out her side.

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Lunch time!

Runway time! Fat Bitch Heidi comes out in her Chicago costume.

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All Dat Jass

Let’s say hi to the judges! Hi Kors!

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Hi Nina!

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Hi Guest Judge Cynthia Rowley!

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Woah, Rowls. Step away from the plastic surgeon.


Mondo won the most votes in the gallery show! HOLLER MONDO! I can’t wait to see what little girl outfit he wears next week. Now let’s watch the show! Or not, cuz we’ve already seen everything. The best part of the runway show is when Nina covers her head as Chunk’s work walks, like it’s raining poo and she forgot an umbrella.

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The only improvement I can see is on Knit Mike’s outfit, cuz he added a jacket. She takes it off and it’s back to fug. April, Hivy, Trandy, Wretchen, and Passy are safe. The rest are kept on the runway. Darn I was hoping April would get this. In the back room, the girls talk trash. Wretch rips Chunk apart and they all agree he’s in the bottom. He will probs win, just to spite those witches.

Knit is first. Rowley’s face says it all.

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Kors says he took the dress from bridesmaid to bat mitzva and the dress looked better before. Nina calls it cheap. The big girl says that the dress is fun. Knit Jemimah is about to cry, but doesn’t. BOOOOOO. Kors thinks Christopher’s dress looks like two dresses put together. Rowley says it looks repurposed but beautiful. Nina likes the top half but not the short bottom. Kors compliments loves Peach’s model’s hair but that’s it. He calls the dress Holly Hobby and hates the avocado dinner napkins on the hips. She looks like she’s at the church bring a pot dinner. LOL he really hates it, and adds that she’s got an avocado goiter. He’s sure burning through a lot of bon mots for one critique. The model says she feels comfortable. LOL. Nina thinks it’s boring, weird and old. Takes one to know one, hag!

Nina loves the modern symmetry of Mondo’s work. Heidi congratulates him on getting rid of the shine, and Cynthia hates the hair but loves the dress. Kors shakes his head, speechless at Valerie’s dress. Then he says she turned the model into a nursing grandma. Cynthia thinks the backstraps are whorish, and Nina says the model looks like she’s about to feed a village and looks fat. Heidi says “I didn’t hate it as much as everyone else.” Um…thanks. Chunky Mike’s work is called edgy and hip and Heidi congratulates him on only making the model look like a hooker on the bottom part. Kors says it’s great and the styling is spot on. Cynthia appreciates that she can almost see the model’s vag. Well done!

In the back, Peach tells everyone that she was ripped apart hard. Knit Mike trembly voiced, says that he was ripped too. They sure loved Chunk though!

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In alone time, the judges call Chunk’s work phenomenal and Heidi says it was so perfect because the other designers were so mean to him last week. They seem to like him the best. Christopher barely made it into the top three. Mondo did a good job but the style was “Snooki and the Flinstones”. LOL. Kors says Valerie’s dress was just wrong and Nina mouths “awful”. Rowley says it looks like a weird cartoon character. Heidi is mad that Knit Mike made his big girl look worse than before. They’re all super pissed about Peach’s work, so she’ll probs go home. Damn I was really rooting against Knit at this point. What a twat.

In the back, Chunk is still going on about how nice the judges were. HAHAH. When he leaves, Wretch is disgusted and says she doesn’t even know what she’s doing on the show if the judges like Chunk’s crap. You’re on the show because your personality is unabashedly terrible, for one. That’s always good for PR. Go Chunk go! Chunk wins! LOLOLOLOLLLLLL! Now Heidi’s just fucking with Wretchen and I love it. I don’t remember a season where there was interpersonal shit going on with the judges and the contestants. It’s amazing.

When he gets to the back room and announces that he won, Hivy snottily snaps “of course you did!” Wretch is disappointed that the judges aren’t complimenting her craftsmanship. Well your crappy attitude sure has their attention so keep it up witch. Mondo and Christopher are both safe. Other Asian Valerie is safe, so we have at least another week to guess her ethnicity. Peach and Knit are left. They get dissed some more and….Knit’s in! BOOOOO!!!!! Poor Peach! She sucked, but Knit was just shamefully terrible to the big girl and that’s a huge nono for gay guys. Also I was really looking forward to seeing the rest of Peach’s facial renovation. She’s super positive about her ouster, and Tim thanks her for teaching him how to say “you’ve got more legs than a bucket of chicken!” Ha.

On her way out, Peach congratulates herself on doing so well at her age. She’s so Sally O’Malley right now. I’ll miss you Peach!! Next week, Valerie cries and Wretchen gets yelled at again!! YAAAYYYY!! See you then.

Flipit
About

Currently, Flipit's writing Real Housewives of Beverly Hills recaps, which you can find here. You can also find him doing a gossip segment twice a week called BS of the Day and video recaps of Project Runway All Stars, as well as spoof ReDubs of the coming soon trailers at the end of RHOBH!

Ronnie Karam has been with TVgasm since 2006 , which has given him the opportunity to make fun of hundreds of TV's most loved and hated reality whores. His plan in life was to be Julia Roberts but that plan was stolen by, well, Julia Roberts. He'll get you one day, JULIA ROBERTS!! When not making himself giggle for the gasm, Ronnie performs improv and sketch comedy at IO West in Hollywood a couple of times weekly while using the lovely California days to audition for commercial roles such as "ADORABLE MEXICAN UNCLE". Seriously. He would like to thank Jesus, Buddha and Xenu for the blessings they've bestowed. The writers here are the best around, and he's honored to be associated with them. Find video archives at CankleTV.com, or follow on Twitter @flipit

59 Comments

  1. 1
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted September 3, 2010 at 4:55 am

    Okay…I was only half paying attention. did chunky Mike say anything negative about Crazy Hivy, or did she just make it up?

    Outstanding recap, Flipit. I’m sure you’ll appreciate the compliment once you wake-up. You had to have been up all night, since you managed to post not one, but two recaps of Thursday night shows. I admire your commitment. Or your judicious use of stimulants. One of the two.

  2. 2
    C in Chicago
    Posted September 3, 2010 at 5:24 am

    Brilliant and hilarious recap as usual. Well done!

    And I didn’t see Chunky tearing anybody down at the ‘scariest manikins ever’ show but then again, I was pretty busy being horrified.

    I have to admit that I liked Mondo’s dress more but then again I know slightly less about good design than most of this year’s competitors. And that’s saying something.

  3. 3
    Pegster
    Posted September 3, 2010 at 5:58 am

    I love that Ivy couldn’t BELIEVE that Mike would talk shit about her. I mean, she only called him ignorant and/or lazy last week. That was totally constructive!

    PR is BACK! I actually found myself yelling at my tv these past couple of weeks (mainly at Gretchen and Ivy), and I’m so glad I have people to hate!

    Ivy from Project Runway is a bitch.
    Grethen from Project Runway is a bitch.
    (Sorry – you know those two Google themselves)

  4. 4
    Pegster
    Posted September 3, 2010 at 6:01 am

    Aaaah! I misspelled it:

    GRETCHEN from Project Runway is awful. GRETCHEN from Project Runway is a bitch. GRETCHEN from Project Runway made her model look like a homeless tranny. Hey GRETCHEN from Project Runway: no one’s buying, ok, so quit whining.

  5. 5
    ohralphie
    Posted September 3, 2010 at 6:27 am

    I am so glad that Chunky Mike won — the fact that he pisses off wretchen and her coven just makes his victory all the more sweeter.

    I don’t know if Mike badmouthed Ivy to the ‘real people’ – you would think it would have been on camera, no way to do that under the radar.
    No, I think this is what happened; after meeting Ivy the real people told her ‘Oh, you must be the bitch of the season!’ And she took it to mean that Mikey tipped them off when in reality they just saw the obvious and called her on it.

    Anybitchway, I wish that the designers were given two days for this challenge. It would be more interesting to see what they could do with time and more money for quality fabric. Oh, and I also wish they were given bridesmaids dresses from the 1980′s, *that* would have been a challenge!

  6. 6
    Rebecca Fialkowski
    Posted September 3, 2010 at 7:41 am

    I actually clapped and screamed at my tv “take that bitches!” when chunky mike won. I am so rooting for him because i cant stand the hatred towards him! Which i believe was instigated by the biggest bitch of all – wretchen! She is the type i expect to see on discovery ID “wicked women” as the leader of a group killing! She is evil and scary!

  7. 7
    njgasmifan
    Posted September 3, 2010 at 7:55 am

    I LOVED Passy in the stew room – “so nao we haz two peepuls who wan two shallengez”. I was HOPING someone would point that out to Wretch – she is so convinced that she is wonder woman because she won twice. Eat it, bitch! And I knew Chunky Mike wouldn’t bring it up himeself, he is too insecure.

    Speaking of Chunkster – he looks like that creepy kid Glen from Man Men all grown up (well, execpt for the bursting into tears on a regular basis).

    I liked Mondo’s look, and think if his styling were better, he might have won. But I also agree that some of the viciousness last week towards Chunk influenced the judges a teeny bit.

    Gretch is over the top obnoxious – “I was hoping that craftsmanship would count for more” (or whatever she said, I am paraphrasing) was a lovely slap at the judges. Can’t wait to see this play out, surely she is in for a major ass ream from Burnt Sienna Kors and Souless Nina… can’t wait, I’ll make extra popcorn and martinis for that epi.

    Flipit, you never cease to amaze with your hysterially funny recaps. And I’m with Catty – whether it’s commitment or stimulants, you are to be admired! Hugsxoxox

  8. 8
    giffordsaz
    Posted September 3, 2010 at 8:12 am

    GRETCHEN from Project Runway is awful. GRETCHEN from Project Runway is a bitch.
    GRETCHEN from Project Runway made her model look like a homeless tranny.
    Hey GRETCHEN from Project Runway: no one’s buying, ok, so quit whining.

    GRETCHEN from Project Runway is awful. GRETCHEN from Project Runway is a bitch.
    GRETCHEN from Project Runway made her model look like a homeless tranny.
    Hey GRETCHEN from Project Runway: no one’s buying, ok, so quit whining.

    So did you all watch On the Road with Santino and Austin last night? They made the same exact fat girl dress as Manjamimah knit Mike made but in Purple… and it was high fashion. This made me laugh the whole show. The SAME EXACT DRESS PEOPLE.
    I hate Ivy and that other muppet looking retchen.

  9. 9
    LAC
    Posted September 3, 2010 at 8:31 am

    Love the recap! Your screenshots are inspired, Flipit! Seriously, I fucking loathe Wretchen. To very loosely paraphrase Uma Thurman in Kill Bill, Vol 1, Bitch, there is nothing you have done in the past few challenges, including showing me that you were born of a woman, that would make me not hate your bony, horse-face self! I am glad that Chunk won (nice dress!)and that Wretchen and her coven of zombie bitch and hissing gays were put in check for another week.

  10. 10
    Corky
    Posted September 3, 2010 at 8:51 am

    @giffordsaz–YES–I noticed the exact same thing but I thought it was the drugs I was on! The same dress for a slightly thinner woman!
    BTW, I think it is hilarious to watch the “designers” be horrified by the common fashion and then look at what they are wearing!

  11. 11
    C in Chicago
    Posted September 3, 2010 at 8:55 am

    @LAC ‘Hissing gays’ reminds me of a thought I had while watching the show this week. Where do they get these guys?

    I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m a wang enthusiast myself but damn, even by PR standards, these designers are gay. Like industrial strength gay. Gayer than a community theater staging of Twilight. I almost miss token straight guy.

  12. 12
    LAC
    Posted September 3, 2010 at 9:23 am

    @C and Chicago – LOL! Definitely gayer than Christmas. I know, I miss my fun gays (Christian Siriano). This season, if they are not hissing and spitting like bitchy puff adders then they are personality free, like Mondo (seriously, I have yet to see whether he has teeth, he smiles so little).

    The one straight guy they did have wore a bowler and acted like an extra on the Saturday Night Fever movie.Douche chill…

  13. 13
    C In Chicago
    Posted September 3, 2010 at 9:46 am

    Mondo is pretty much a anime character to me. Over the top, overly-dramatic and weepy. I keep thinking of him as ‘Tragic Fashion Princess Mondo’ and expecting him to dye his hair blue and get a giant robot.

    And yea, overcompensation lad was a bit off. Or his fashion aesthetic was inspired by A Clockwork Orange. Or both.

  14. 14
    vallegirl vallegirl
    Posted September 3, 2010 at 9:49 am

    Yeah, even if Chunky Mike called Hivy the bitch of the season, he’s only speaking the truth. Once you call someone lazy and/or ignorant to the judges, you really need to take the hit when it comes.

    Sadly, though, I think what probably happened was someone probably asked if Hivy was a bitch and he maybe agreed. But once she started whining about it, at the show, she both lost any sympathy and proved him right. Make better clothes and you’ll win, Hivy. Until then, stop blaming Chunky Mike for your suckitude.

    Also, please designers, stop treating the one who gets the “voLUMPtuous” model like he’s Albert Freakin’ Schweitzer just for making a dress for so unsightly a woman. Seriously, you’d think they asked Michael D. to make a dress for Medusa or Golem, not just some young woman who’s a size 14. Mondo was all empathy-panging at having to dress so big a girl and Michael D. actually said to Tim that he was “trying to be kind” (here’s a tip – just be kind, asshole) by not calling her fat. But she can lose weight if she wants to, but you, Michael D., will always be immortalized wearing that ridiculous bandana and v-necked t-shirt, so get off your martyr pedestal and start making wearable clothes. Isn’t he from St. Louis? I don’t think they’re all sample-sized in Missouri.

  15. 15
    lestermaddox
    Posted September 3, 2010 at 9:58 am

    Did I miss where all the Chunky Mike originated? I don’t get it, it seems so forced – they guy can’t even walk into a room without someone telling us what a shit he is.

    I wasn’t as thrilled with his dress as the judges were and I think some of the judging from last week tipped him over Mondo for the win, but his dress wasn’t nearly as bad as that fug thing Gretchen put on her model – where the hell would she wear that? On the street corner?

    I think Mondo’s dress would have shown on the runway much better if his model knew how to stand up straight. Give her a couple of years and she will rival the Hunchback of Notre Dame.

  16. 16
    lestermaddox
    Posted September 3, 2010 at 9:59 am

    *Chunky Mike HATE originated?

    Gah – why isn’t there an edit button?

  17. 17
    LAC
    Posted September 3, 2010 at 10:19 am

    Gah, indeed – my apologies C in Chicago – not C and Chicago!

  18. 18
    njgasmifan
    Posted September 3, 2010 at 10:42 am

    Anyone else praying for Chunkster to grow a pair and start telling Hivy and Wretch off?

  19. 19
    giffordsaz
    Posted September 3, 2010 at 11:12 am

    look who is #8 on Google search now!!!!!

    Project Runway: Fat People Abuse | TVgasm
    Sep 3, 2010 … GRETCHEN from Project Runway is awful. GRETCHEN from Project … GRETCHEN from Project Runway made her model look like a homeless tranny. …
    http://www.tvgasm.com/recaps/project_runway/project-runway-fat-people-abuse/GRETCHEN from Project Runway is awful. GRETCHEN from Project Runway is a bitch.
    GRETCHEN from Project Runway made her model look like a homeless tranny.
    Hey GRETCHEN from Project Runway: no one’s buying, ok, so quit whining.
    GRETCHEN from Project Runway is awful. GRETCHEN from Project Runway is a bitch.
    GRETCHEN from Project Runway made her model look like a homeless tranny.
    Hey GRETCHEN from Project Runway: no one’s buying, ok, so quit whining.

  20. 20
    lindaw205
    Posted September 3, 2010 at 11:15 am

    I want Chunky Mike to make it to the finals, just to piss off Wretchen and Hivy. I know, selfish of me. Great recap, btw!

  21. 21
    shantigal
    Posted September 3, 2010 at 11:20 am

    If only Tim had towed Wretchen off last week. And mama Wretch, puh-leaze. If she hadn’t pageant mommed her into thinking she’s the shit, she’d be somewhat palpable. Thankfully, Kors & Nina are correcting that. BTW – best judges pics yet Flippy.

    @vallegirl – Michael D really from St. Louis? I’ll have to look him up in the gay yellowpages and hire him to make a dress for my fat ass.
    I’d love to see Chris March on with him this season and school him on how to flatter any figure, while also getting in a nap. <3

  22. 22
    Pegster
    Posted September 3, 2010 at 11:57 am

    @Giff – LOLs. You know why that’s trending? Because GRETCHEN from Project Runway is awful.! GRETCHEN from Project Runway is the Antichrist! GRETCHEN from Project Runway needs a serious trim.

    Oh, and IVY SUCKS.

  23. 23
    Jersey
    Posted September 3, 2010 at 12:27 pm

    I also don’t understand where all the hate from Chunky Mike comes from!? He’s won 2 times. Obviously he’s on to something. So these non-established designers are going to think Nina, Heidi and Michael freakin’ Kors don’t know what they’re talking about???? Am I the crazy one? That Valeria chick has not put out ANYTHING nice. Her dress seriously looked like something i would make if i had a dress form. “oop, ran out of fabric on the sides–I’ll just put some black panels there. Hmm.. maybe if I put like string on the back, that would be cool”… Like she made it up as she went along. I can’t even understand these awful people.

  24. 24
    njgasmifan
    Posted September 3, 2010 at 12:45 pm

    I think it’s because Mike does not seem as “trained” as some of the others – he had difficulty making a cowl, asks a lot of questions and just doesn’t seem to understand garment construction. However, that is not preventing him from making winning outfits! I think some of the more trained designers are looking down their noses at him and questioning how – gasp – such an untrained person could possibly WIN when they themselves know so much more about construction (as evidenced by Wretchen’s comment about craftsmanship not being considered. Personally I like Chunks underdog qualilty, I don’t think he’s the best designer there and don’t think he’ll go to the end (although that would be a hoot and a half) I hope he lasts awhile and continues to give Wretchen, Hivy and the hissy gays (so perfect, guys!) something to sputter about

  25. 25
    Zbird
    Posted September 3, 2010 at 1:50 pm

    Aunt FemmeMimah. That’s it. I could die happily now after that laugh. You serioulsy rock, sir Flipit.

  26. 26
    Clair Clair
    Posted September 3, 2010 at 2:25 pm

    Fab and funny recap, FlipCo.

    “Well he could have given you a shoe that didn’t fit. Consider your blessings.” hee hee

    I agree that Heidi is fucking with Wretchen and I lub it too!

    LOL @ Pegster and Gif!

  27. 27
    Pegster
    Posted September 3, 2010 at 2:42 pm

    Oh, and can someone tell me why it was a big deal that Mikey couldn’t make a cowl neck? Seriously, it’s very possible that he never had a desire to make that shit – it’s not 1970.

  28. 28
    juddfan
    Posted September 3, 2010 at 5:23 pm

    Yay!!! I never knew so much hate could be so fun (ok, perhaps I did!) Have to dash, but I’ll be back.

    Limited Edition Sanjaya Troll HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

    Sometimes I live in a parallel universe where everything I think is horrid is somehow collectively praised, so in a small sense, I can see where Wretch is coming from. she needs to agree to disagree.

    CM, take it from Madge–”I”m not you’re bitch, don’t hang your shit on me!”

    Hivy is clearly the worst, has she ever done one good thing. She’s as bad as Peach (sorry P) if you ask me, yet acts like she’s better than them all. I thought she proved her bitch label quite easily just after she started that rumor . . . some Zombie’s just don’t get it.

    And I did think Wretch’s looked like a shit stain down the back!

  29. 29
    Flipit
    Posted September 3, 2010 at 5:40 pm

    This is one of my fave comment threads EVAH. hissy gays? oh man that has to go into the recaps. that shit’s hilarious. i have nothing to add, just wanted to send love to you guys and say thanks for reading. drink yourselves silly this weekend and please get some. xo

  30. 30
    Zbird
    Posted September 3, 2010 at 8:33 pm

    You know who I dislike on this show? Pretty much ALL of them, except for Peach (miss her desperately already) and April. Mondo’s okay except for that “People love me only for mah ART” schtick that, ugh, er, okay. Calm down, Nellie. Valerie seems like she’d be cool to hang out with, but her designs are very hit and miss (last night = huge miss).

    The rest? Horrible:

    Gretchen — Thinks waaay too much of herself and her designs. Way. Too. Much. Gretchen, take a look at Banana Republic. It’s been done, and much better than you do it.
    Ivy — “Hivy” is right. Gretchen’s thug, horrific designs, basically Gretchen’s mini-me who also thinks way too highly of herself
    Andy — Who?
    Michael D. and Christoper — Interchangeable “hissy gays” (love that!)
    Michael C — Fug clothes, crybaby, whiner, dolt

    I wish that Sarah and Kristin were still on the show! And Peach, oh Peach. Not a fan of her designs, but I think she’s a class act.

    And of course I love Flippy!

  31. 31
    Zbird
    Posted September 3, 2010 at 8:38 pm

    Holy crud. No editing allowed and I hit submit before I was finished.

    Anyway, I cannot leave Cassanova off my list. At first I thought he was annoying, but he’s really starting to grow on me, especially with his “there are two designers who have won twice now” line last night to egg on the Heathers (I can’t take credit for naming them Heathers, but it’s so funny I had to co-opt it). Hilarious. And I love how he says “exactly”: ehxaaacly. Too funny.

    If I forgot anyone else, it’s because they’re forgettable. But Cassanova is definitely NOT forgettable.

  32. 32
    thiajok
    Posted September 3, 2010 at 9:28 pm

    I must applaud this wonderful line before I finish reading:

    A: No one but the stale ass Doritos on the crafts services table. Sad horns.

    I hate kissing recapper ass on general principle, but that was fucking great!

  33. 33
    LongtimeLurker
    Posted September 3, 2010 at 10:02 pm

    ***She tells us that a scar can turn into an open wound if you don’t let it heal.***

    Did anyone else notice this makes no sense? When she said it last night, I cracked up. A SCAB could turn into an open wound but a SCAR is an already healed wound. I found myself screaming, “YOU’RE AN IDIOT! It’s a SCAB not a SCAR!” and waking the chipmunks on the deck from their little comas after skimming through my trash.

  34. 34
    thiajok
    Posted September 3, 2010 at 10:19 pm

    Heidi’s god-awful candy-stripe-effect stockings just didn’t work–bitch has got to start dressing her age sooner or later. Having said that, even now she looks better than I did at 21, so who am I, really?

    OMG, njgasmifan, that’s IS who Chunky reminds me of!

    “Speaking of Chunkster – he looks like that creepy kid Glen from Man Men all grown up (well, execpt for the bursting into tears on a regular basis).”

    I liked Mondo’s better myself, but if it gets under Ivy’s skin for Michael C to win, all the better for everyone. When she finally breaks, there will be blood.

    Aside from the snideness, I really don’t think there are any exceptional contestants this year, either in being talented or entertaining.

    This recap was xxxxtra wonderful. XXOO

  35. 35
    georgiababe
    Posted September 3, 2010 at 11:22 pm

    Flipit, you are THE MAN! The speed of your recaps constantly amazes me.

    I have FINALLY been able to catch up with your PR recaps. Canada doesn’t get PR at the same time as the US, which means that although I followed them religiously, I was never able to comment on your recaps because I was reading them months late. Now, FINALLY, I have caught up and I gotta say – excellent work. I’ve always loved your recaps and I am so looking forward to being able to actually be a part of the conversation this season!

    Love, GB

  36. 36
    Pixielated
    Posted September 3, 2010 at 11:47 pm

    I, too, love Cassanova. He usually comes up with something pretty interesting in his designs, and his lack of English skills (real or fake) is hilarious. He can stir the shit a little, too.

    Hivy is one of the least talented designers on the show, and should have gone home last week. She is more of a bitch than Gretchen, too.

    Mondo is pretty sweet and also has talent.

    It’s true, nobody stands out this year with consistently good designs. And the judging is strange. It’s also true that Michael C’s execution is poor, which probably sticks in everybody’s craws because in the past execution was a big issue. I think they gave him the win just because of his being the target last week.

    I just read an interview with Peach (on Project Rungay), and she said Michael C is far from a victim and can get really nasty himself. She implied that he knows how to turn on the waterworks and act the victim in order to garner sympathy, but can give as good as he gets.

    Fashion Week is about to start, so it looks like TEN DESIGNERS will be showing collections, like last year. Everybody left on the show now will be showing in Fashion Week. Yikes, there will be a lot of ugly out there.

  37. 37
    Pixielated
    Posted September 3, 2010 at 11:49 pm

    P.S. Flipit, I loved your recap, especially the facial expression-off between Tim and Gretchen.

    And “Aunt Femme-mimah”–OMG, HAHAHAHA!

  38. 38
    georgiababe
    Posted September 4, 2010 at 1:20 am

    I actually really LIKED Michael C’s dress, until he added the lace – those sleeves were HEINOUS, but I thought the dress was actually cool. I would buy it.

    I would NOT, however, buy Ivy or Gretchen’s outfits. Ivy’s pants were gross and so boring and Gretchen’s was SO FUG. I don’t understand fashion, I guess, because so many of these designers make things that I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing, yet they all congratulate each other on their hideous creations.

    My favorite designers right now are Casanova and April. Casanova is just unintentionally hilarious and April has spunk, I like that. I also like Mondo, but he’s pretty quiet. And although he’s a bit of a whiner sometimes, I like Michael C. His stuff isn’t always the best, but honestly, I would wear his stuff over the crap that Ivy puts out, hands down.

    The rest are a bunch of catty A-holes, for the most part. Especially Gretchen and Ivy. Ivy is such a cow – I HATE people like her, who can’t take it but still sit on their high horses and dish it out. HATE. And her clothes are seriously fug.

    I want Michael C. to win this because I think it would be HYSTERICAL.

  39. 39
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted September 4, 2010 at 7:19 am

    georgiababe…please be careful on your use of the word “catty.” I’m very sensitive ;)

    Please clarify: are we using “hissy gays,” similar to a hissy fit as they so often throw, or “hissing gays” as though they are a chorus of slimy gay snakes? I just like to be accurate.

  40. 40
    C in Chicago
    Posted September 4, 2010 at 8:04 am

    @cattyfan I didn’t come up with the phrase but I’m thinking more Disneyesque villainous and malicious. Sort of Cruella de Gay. In triplicate.

  41. 41
    snappleaddict
    Posted September 4, 2010 at 8:06 am

    I laughed so hard at this recap I gave myself a headache.

  42. 42
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted September 4, 2010 at 9:12 am

    Ah. Hissing Gays then. Excellent!

    LOL

  43. 43
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted September 4, 2010 at 9:12 am

    Ah. Hissing Gays. Excellent!

    LOL

  44. 44
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted September 4, 2010 at 9:13 am

    Sorry for the double post. The site claimed I had the “capcha code” wrong. Liar.

  45. 45
    LAC
    Posted September 4, 2010 at 10:31 am

    Since I used the phase – that was exactly what I was thinking – hissing gays! LOL!!

  46. 46
    ihaveacold
    Posted September 4, 2010 at 11:23 am

    Loving your recaps almost more than the show!
    Gretchen looks like a fug-girl version of John Malkovich. She has got go!

  47. 47
    georgiababe
    Posted September 4, 2010 at 1:40 pm

    Haha, sorry Catty, I will use “hissy” instead of catty from now on haha.

    It’s funny, because whenever I picture hissing gays, I pictured prissy fluffy cats with their hackles raised, hissing and spitting like mad haha.

  48. 48
    noreality
    Posted September 4, 2010 at 7:15 pm

    whats wrong with these people?!! What a spineless bunch of school girl sissys!! I totally want to see Chunky Mike Bitch Slap Wretch and Ivy.

    Great recap FLipit! This is a great drama season…. but I cant tell whats worse, listening to Wretch speak or all her dumb ass followers or!! watching the Chunk take it…. WTF!!

  49. 49
    Dawn
    Posted September 4, 2010 at 11:02 pm

    When they announced Michael C as the winner, I actually laughed out loud and said “Gretchen and Ivy’s heads are going to explode!” Sadly I was wrong – they’re still breathing :(

    The especially funny thing about the whole Hivy hatred of Chunky Mike is that not only has she not won – she hasn’t even been in the top 3, as far as I can remember.

  50. 50
    Elizabeth
    Posted September 5, 2010 at 8:49 am

    Wretchen & Poison Spivy suck….but definitely can’t swallow..anything or anyone that the evil ones don’t first inspect & then spit out! Spivy was so jealous of Mickey’s buttons, that she made up a story about herself! At least the content was true-you are an ugly, talentless hag! HA! HA! You & The Wretch can start your own line-Road Kill! I hope you both fall off the runway & break your necks! You’re right-this is not the show for you. It should be Botton Feeders…pun intended! LEAVE MIKEY ALONE & fly away on your broomsticks & remove the wicked spell on your fellow moronic followers! Begone, Evil Ones!

  51. 51
    Elizabeth
    Posted September 5, 2010 at 8:52 am

    I meant BOTTOM FEEDERS!!

  52. 52
    giffordsaz
    Posted September 5, 2010 at 11:25 am

    Sooooooooooooo, you are the hometown newpaper represnting the Mullet Loving gRetchen. How do you spin Tim Gunn’s rant on your Hometown Champ in a humorless snarkless PR review? By taking a swipe at Arpils Hitler comment. And all 8 commenters don’t stand up for her…. but one does… it makes the reading of the review worth the time.
    http://www.oregonlive.com/movies/index.ssf/2010/08/project_runway_season_8_it_was.html

  53. 53
    itchy
    Posted September 6, 2010 at 2:56 pm

    Through my superhuman efforts, I am finally caught up with this season and can finally officially commment here.

    Without a doubt the producers/judges are fucking with Horseface’s witches coven by giving the win to the humble chunky guy. Although his stuff lately hasn’t been all that bad. Not that I’m a judge of these things.

    Also, Chunks claimed he’d never badmouth another designer’s WORK to those people, and not that he’d never badmouth Ivy. Who deserves to have her teeth kicked in for being such a bitch. And I really enjoyed the sly little smile he gave while he was claiming that he’d said nothing…

    That Valerie (the other Asian? How the fuck is she remotely Asian looking?) is kind of cute, but has a godawful figure. And jeez, if she’s going to rag on Chunks, you’d think she’d at least make an effort to design something decent.

    But yeah, this season of PR is definitely more fun to watch than the last one. Maybe it’s because of the longer format, so they have to fill it with more backstabbing bitchiness? I kind of miss Models of the Runway though.

  54. 54
    juddfan
    Posted September 7, 2010 at 12:45 pm

    Itchy!!! You’ve been gone so long, welcome back!!!

    Did you all hear the melt down last week was the highest rated Runway show eva!!! Guess people love to watch bitches go off!

    Can’t wait till someone points out to Hivy that she sucks and hardly has a right to criticize others . . . .

  55. 55
    BananaGrabber
    Posted September 8, 2010 at 11:41 am

    Anyone else going to the sweaters Peach sported? I personally loved the pink one from this week with the sunglass embroidery.

  56. 56
    Moli Moli
    Posted September 8, 2010 at 12:10 pm

    Valerie is Guatemalan

  57. 57
    lindaw205
    Posted September 8, 2010 at 12:24 pm

    I just bought Tim Gunn’s new book, can’t wait to get into that. Love me some Tim!!

  58. 58
    njgasmifan
    Posted September 9, 2010 at 11:01 am

    For those who have not seen this blog about Wretch, it’s pure gold…
    http://tomandlorenzo2.blogspot.com/2010/08/pr-thirty-three-faces-of-gretchen.html

  59. 59
    giffordsaz
    Posted September 9, 2010 at 11:51 am

    http://projectrungay.blogspot.com/

    holy moly, they have posted all the collections that were shown on the runway……..

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