TV Social
Recent Comments
- Flipit: OK guys you have done me a huge favor by telling me all of this stuff, because I can’t test a Windows...
- Flipit: EdHill you can still make me snort. Your Project Runway recaps brought me to this site and the memories still...
- whatwhat: I like the new site, but the dark, heavy black font used for all your headers looks really fuzzy on my monitor,...
- Knitwit: I found you
- Edhill: I still think madeyoulaugh and tabloid baby can turn this around. Just sayin.
- Classy Drunk: Thanks for the prayer Spike!!! You never let us down!
- AliceinPopLand: I CAN ACCESS THE SITE!!!! yay! and my night in call center hell is now awesome!
- Peggies118: OMG! Poor little Mia! What a precious heart...
- annie: I was able to get an Avatar on Trash Talk TV (Butters!) here’s how I did it: 1. You make your profile 2. I...
- Dsign123: Thank you for posting about Anthony Savoy! I was looking for him and couldn’t figure out what...
-
Thursday, January 12, 2012
11:20 pm
20 Comments
Previously on Project Runway: the return of Petty Page!
Is it me or has the service at the 99 cent store really gone downhill? I’m so yelping this shit.
Orville Redenbottom Mondo showed off his little girl rack too much and lost to Rami,
It’s because I’m wearing a shirt. I won’t make that mistake again.
…and poor CrazyFace Elisa was sent back to working as a box girl in the organic soap section of Whole Foods after her finger painting on a model made the judges mad.
If all angels looked this cheap and slutty, more people would go to church.
Angela HideMe comes out on the runway looking shocked and awed to still be there. I’m with her.
OMGWTF
Tonight’s challenge is all about ball gowns. You can accuse this show of a lot of things, but being in touch with the economy isn’t one of them. They do, however, showcase why men shouldn’t get botox. It’s a double standard, I know, but I just report the facts.
The guest judges are brought out: Badgley and Mischka! Are we sure this isn’t a dog park challenge? Cuz I could swear I’ve met bitches named that there. I think the really pale ice skater couple owns them. Austin Scarlett O’Scare says that he wants to pattern his career after these two. You better get a move on it, kid. You seem a little behind. I blame the bowler. And the glued on mustache. And the dime bag eyes. I wonder if he’s gone to lunch with HideMe yet. I’d love to see them sitting there bugging their eyes out at each other.
The challenge is called “A Night at the Opera”, and Mikey Chunk is psyched because he growed up wit da opera. Whenever it was time for the guests to leave family parties, his dad would shove a metal hat with horns onto his head and have him hum everyone out the door. Scarlett’s the instafave to win this one, but Hobosexual Jerell’s not scared of talent. Talented people usually have jobs, which means they have change. Austin will do whatever it takes for a win and lets the judges know that.
Woah. That won’t be necessary. Maybe just flip your collar down and shave.
They have one day and three hundred bucks. Chunk is basically just sketching out what HideMe just wore on the runway. April is determined to show the world that she can, in fact, use colors every once in awhile. That doesn’t mean she can’t depress the hell out of the judges anyway. The frowning vagina behind her is not a good sign.
Someone got their fertility tests back.
Sweat P is still shocked that she was in the bottom last week. When did washcloths go out of style? “It made me feel like some kind of loser.” Wait until you lose. Mondo is afraid of this challenge, so he’s just gonna grab pretty stuff at Mood and let his fabrics speak to him. He’s gonna be in troubs when they only say “Shut Kenley the fuck up plz” over and over again.
Speaking of, Petty Page has found fabrics that are “sooooo me. Beautiful and feminine!” LOL. It’s not a goal challenge. I suspect she has a mole-y back.
We get to see Chunk’s sketch and I want to show it to you, because it’s always fun to see what he starts out with and what he ends up with. It’s the same thing he made last week, but without the mops.
April is also using red and feathers. LOL. She doesn’t see what the big deal is with using the same materials again, but he gets a new fabric. Is she fucking with him on purpose? I’d like to think so, but she doesn’t really seem to have the personality for that. Or…anything really. Maybe Reader’s Digest. Or naps. Chunk finds some black material and decides to go with it. I’m always scared for my sweet little Chunk, and tonight is no different. His shirt is even scared.
Can’t watch.
Scarlett O’Scare is still trying to communicate to the judges that he’ll do anything to win. Unfortunately, they’re all probably bottoms.
April decides to dye her material, and everyone around her is like NOOOOOOOoooooo! Except for Mila, who’s like
I will get that moooooose!
Chunk is working so quickly that even Mila has to compliment him. Plus, his work is right up her alley.
For the woman who doesn’t want to shave just to go to the opera.
Hagatha Coffee comes in to check on progress and we learn why she never smiles.
AAAAAAAAAHhhhhHHHHHHHH! Make it stooooooop!
I wonder if people at work try to piss her off all the time just so they never have to see that ghoulish smile. Petty Page is psyched to have Hagatha as their mentor. She actually works at Marie Claire, and most importantly, she’s not Tim.
Kenley, that looks like your cat pooped out bad attitude, you ate the litter it was pooped out in with a bad attitude, then you pooped it out for the second time in a toilet with a bad attitude and made it a zillion times concentrated in bad attitude.
We don’t see Rami’s work, but he tells Hag that he’s most scared of Scarlett. It’s not evident yet as to why, so for now let’s just blame the bowler hat again.
Austin’s all scaredy wah omg with Hagatha, because everyone expects him to be briiiiiiliant. Gordana Jellybeanhausen says dad eef Osteen ees good at da balls gown, dayn eet shooden’d be so skeerdy. In other words, man up ya girl! Hag’s not that excited about the time April’s taking to dye her gown, but she is happy that she finally knows what happened to Baby Jane.
Mystery solved! Now to find out who, in fact, is afraid of Virginia Woolf.
Chunk is making the famous “My husband sold me to an old dude for a mortgage payment” dress from Indecent Proposal, but with the addition of the facial hair collar. Scary music plays as Hag makes her way over to Kara, who’s been inspired by the Kleenex box in the greenroom.
Hagatha calls it a bridesmaid dress. Janky Janx is always a bridesmaid, so she should know better. Sweat P is bold tonight. She’s going with orange and … hot pink? Drugs are fun when you’re young, but at some point you gotta switch to vitamins.
Comes a time you gotta top medicating with joints and start medicating your joints.
When the Hobosexual calls your shit tacky, you need to rethink. He’s wearing a pair of stained ass pantyhose he found in the trash as a shirt. Meanwhile, Mondo prepares to make the KKK glamorous again.
Anthony the Flamíngay is making another bridesmaid dress, so he tells Hag it will be different because it will be sluttier than a normal bridesmaid’s dress. Good. Hopefully Janx can wear it at the next wedding she’s in and finally nab a man. Rami is thankful for Hag’s compliments, because even though everyone thinks he’s perfect, it’s nice to be reminded every once in awhile. Shhhh. Pushups. Concentrate on pushups. There there.
Mondo tells us that Janky Janx is the bottom designer because she’s so insecure. If there was a reality competition that centered around making curtains my Meemaw would buy, she’d win a shit ton of money.
Back at Motel 6, Rami tries to give Flamingay static cling.
Flamingay says that everyone’s getting stressed out by the couture part of the challenge, so they’re just gonna refer to it as the really really pumped up prom drisses challenge. LOL. He needs to be on every reality show. Janx moves from person to person to complain about sucking. She doesn’t know why it’s so hard, it’s not like her design is going “off the cojonees.” Huh? How has she lived here so long and thickened her damn accent? The next morning, she’s feeling more confident. It’s almost time, which means now we get to watch hair and makeup! SMOKE BREAK! When I come back, Chunk is doing a Mila impersonation.
Kenley calls out ten minutes. Who made her time caller? She needs to just shut up. Also, you can be jealous of a rack, but stabbing it to death is kinda tacky.
My boobs would like to take this time to apologize for whatever they did to you.
HideMe comes out on the runway looking shocked that Kenley’s cat just got thrown at her.
Georgina is so young, beautiful and talented. Unfortunately, I can’t see her angelic face without picturing this sweating and grunting on top of her:
I will, however, stop calling her Whoregina. It’s not nice. She’s fucked her way into a really good position in life, and I should respect that. You give me hope, girl! I’ve got fucking ugly dudes down, now I just need to become young and gorgeous and talented. BRB.
PettyPage is up first with a Barbie that some sadistic fuck burnt cigarette holes into.
Gordana Picantesaucehausen has made a dress from the 20′s for giant thighed women who want a little camouflage.
The beading on top is really pretty, but the back is only nice if you like muffin tops. Which I do. So yay. ?
Rami usually does an excellent job, but today his work is a bit yikes. Lot of folding going on here. I don’t like that the only gay guy on the show that works out is so obsessed with pink folds.
I had a friend who was a stripper that died a couple of years ago and no one really knew what to wear to her funeral. I wish we’d all had Mila’s number back then.
Pregnant ladies don’t go to the opera often. It sucks to buy a dress for one night, and it’s less fun when you have to get up and pee every five minutes. But just in case, here’s Sweat P to save the day. She says she loves to see her model float down the runway. I agree. At least with the “float” part.
And behind her is a giant Heathcliff balloon.
That’s one sloppy ass dress. Poor Sweat! I was kinda rooting for her. Mondo’s made something Mila will wear when she finally takes over the world and becomes Queen of the Next Ice Age.
It’s not a ball gown at all, but don’t tell him that. He’s seen Madame Butterfly! LOL! Then you know she dies in the end. You should have chosen something with a better outcome. That aside, I like that it’s functional. For the girl who’s always losing her purse.
Hobosexual says that he is being true to himself. I see it. It’s dumpy, sad, scaly and all over the place.
Janky’s gown isn’t as hideous as it was in the work room. It’s not really ball gown material, but it’s at least sewn well. She’s got Sweat P and the hobo beat.
They have maid service on Project Runway? Someone’s turned down the sheets on Flamíngay’s model.
Put a mint in her mouth and turn out the lights.
Scarlett O’Scare, the most brilliant ball gown designer in the world, has made a scene depicting Princess Lei being dry humped by C3PO.
April’s model walked through a really big puddle on her way here.
Chunk didn’t make a ball gown, but it’s still pretty. It reminds me of Angry Birds.
Gonna slingshot this bitch through some pylons and kill me some pigs.
Flamingay, April, Sweat P, Scarlett O’Scare, Janky, and Chunk are kept on the runway. How the hell did Hobosexi survive this one?!?! The judges start with Flamíngay. No one asks what the hell’s up with his model’s drag queen rubber boob plate, and it really bugs me.
Eyesack compliments him on redefining white. LOL. WTF does that mean? It’s still white. Georgi likes it, but doesn’t love it. April’s work is super crappy up close. It’s called tortured and rushed. Eyesack thinks Sweat P’s work is too prom-y and boob deflating. He falls all over Scarlett’s work, and the other judges follow. Janxy thickens her accent so much that a dingo swings by and steals her baby. Eyesack isn’t disgusted by her work, but he’s not too into it.
Eyesack calls Chunk’s Vegas dress perfection. He follows that up with “Kim Kardashian at the opera”, and I have to pause and wonder for a few minutes where the hell perfection is in that scenario. She’d be like “Why don’t they taaaaaalk?” In alone time, the judges repeat themselves, but April really seems to get dragged around more than the others.
One of the guests calls Scarlett’s dress tasteful and Eyesack says “I haven’t heard that word in soooo long!” Anyone doubt that? Me neither. They all love Chunk’s work but Eyesack thinks it’s a bit done. Flamíngay gets some good critiques, but this one looks like it’s going to O’Scare. And…he takes it! He blahs and flits and blahs some more. April and Sweat P are on the bottom. It’s twice in a row for Sweat, and that does her in. She’s out! Aw. I thought the Hobo would be toast in this one, but I’m glad he’s not. It’s nice to know there will be someone on hand to take the recyclables out of the trash can. Boo to global warming!
Next time, Miss Piggy!! OH HELL YES!
To get the funniest quotes from TVgasm recaps as they’re posted, follow us on Twitter or like our Facebook page! You can post your favorite lines right back at us. Thanks for being here!
To follow my personal tweets, click here.
20 Comments
Thanks Flipit, you’re the best!
I think Hobosexual’s model was the one that looked pregnant, in fact it was the perfect maternity outfit to wear to the…hoedown ball?
I LOVED Mondo’s outfit. I just wished that he had made the dress floor length (despite how killer the outfit made the model’s legs look), so it could qualify as a gown (with the tail just a bit shorter so the wearer doesn’t trip). I thought he should have at least been in the final three.
I liked Chunk’s outfit better than Scarlett’s.
I have heard of old people trying to look younger, but why on earth does young April want to look like an old, dour grandma from a trailer park? Her interview look is atrocious! If she is trying to garner some respect despite her age, she should aim for late thirties or forties. April looking like a lady in her seventies kind of makes me think that she may have overshot a bit.
I also found the “Kim Kardashian at the Opera” comment to be preposterous, but it makes me wonder if this episode was filmed when she was still engaged–before the big D, and Isaac thinks this comment is something anyone on planet Earth would find even slightly ‘tasteful’?
And @ LAC, regarding “shana, Kenley is the sweatshirt, but camille is still an asshole, right?”
Always, my love, always.
Yay, Flipit! Thank you. There is a segment of our local suburban ladies here in the Twin Cities that are, what I like to call, “overdone.” Their hair is “done.” Their nails are “done.” Make-up, clothes, homes, cars all “done” to such a level of perfection one wonders how they have time to do anything else besides grooming. Now, I loves me some Austin Scarlet BUT he’s moved into the Edina/Minnetonka/North Oaks neighborhood. Austin, I’m afraid you’ll chip like fine bone china unless you relax the overdone-ness a bit. I did love his gown though.
Sorry to see Sweet P go. She’s a cutie but it was the right choice among those left on the runway. As far as Jerrel’s gown? Oh dear.
Chunk’s model is Leslie Mancia from Cycle 6 of America’s Next Top Model. Can you tell I watch too much reality TV?
Also, LOVED my man, Scarlett O’ Scare’s dress! I also thought Mando’s was awesome. Chunk’s really flattered his model. I thought Kenley was going to be at least in the bottom for her prom/bridesmaid dress which was pretty, but not for the opera.
YES!!! Thank you, S-Natch for naming Chunk’s model – she looked so familiar, it was driving me crazy.
And thanks, Flipit, for including the still of Anthony’s model’s boobs. WTH was going on there?! I was so distracted by those plastic orbs that I couldn’t even concentrate on the fact that she was wearing a sheet and the black leather gloves he hooked up with that outfit were hideous. Seriously, what were those?
I actually thought of the three designers who went for a breezy, youthful look that Kenley’s was the most successful. It was a dreamy, formal dress for a very young woman. Kara tried but her print was all wrong and Sweet P’s was both too much and too little, but Kenley’s was pretty successful. Not enough to place in the top, but solidly middle.
Austin Scarlett is not a gay man. He’s a performance artist trapped in a show that never ends.
I also always find it ironic when people so devoid of viable style, like April and Kara, are responsible for creating styles for other people. And sometimes they can do it. But WHY NOT FOR THEMSELVES?
Probably for the same reason hair stylists almost invariably have the worst hair. Seriously, I don’t think I’ve ever gotten my hair cut by someone whose hair didn’t look like it was cut by a mental patient (TM, one of my hair stylists) but I generally get the best cuts from the people with the worst hair. My favorite was a guy who looked like a 200 pound Ron Wood.
Things that would stop me from hiring a designer:
1. They dress in what could be described as “Hobo-chic.”
2. They constantly have large flower displays, mobiles, or wire sculptures atop their pointy heads.
3. They constantly act like they are starring in a Liza Minelli biopic.
4. They always look like they’ve recently been crying, or that they will again shortly. Over-emote on your own time, fashion lackey!
5. They think they know something about hair and make-up, but all they can really do is repeat the phrases “feminine, but with an edge,” and “smokey eye”.
6. They claim to have truly revolutionary ideas, but they are completely unable to describe these ideas to anyone else.
7. Dress and act as if they are a 7-year-old boy. With Asperger’s.
8. They have done really, really inadvisable things to their hair or the fleshy parts of their bodies.
9. They have an accent that I’m more than half-convinced is fake.
10. They abuse their hyperbole privileges.
Based on those criteria, if I had to choose a designer from any of those currently anywhere on TV, I guess I’d be naked.
I’m happy that no one did too horrifically badly. I have such low expectations after the last few seasons of regular Project Runway. Kenley, Rami, Mila, Sweet P, Mondo, Hobosexual, Kara, and April did not make things that anyone would wear to the opera. I loved Chunk, Austin, Gordana, and Anthony’s gowns. I’m actually enjoying the judges’ comments. I don’t fastfoward through them anymore.
OMG This recap was just too funny! I liked Michael’s, Anthony’s and Mondo’s dresses; call me crazy, I think black and white are elegant. Hated Kara’s and Sweet Pea’s maternity numbers and wouldn’t wear Kenley’s huge polka dot bow on my chest on a bet. The hobo guy’s feathered boobs weren’t working for me, nor was Austin’s costume, nor was Rami’s nightmare in pink. How long is April gonna push her Dr. Doom viewpoint on people? The chick looked like when Cinderella didn’t get to go to the ball. Yikes. The host makes me really miss Heidi.
Did anyone else think Hobosexual’s feathered boobs weren’t quite symmetrical? Also, how can the judges ask Scarlett O’Scara to make the cleavage in his dress more pronounced when his model is obviously still in middle school? Can’t work with what you don’t got.
@Flipit thanks for not only making a recap of this unfortunate television incident but also for looking at some of the dresses 2 times so you could put pics.
This episode would’ve tempted me to take a pain pill even if I didn’t have to.
It’s good to know my impression that none of the all stars OR the judges ever went to the opera wasn’t just me.
They didn’t even crank up their product placement tablets to google some pictures.
I miss Tim! But now I understand why he’s not there. It’s got to be for medical grounds.
I bet they told him about this challenge and his doctor said no way. And to not even watch this episode because of the risk of post apocalyptic shock and cardiovascular upset.
Which would be doctor talk for “he’s a strong and healthy man but this would break his heart.”
The other night Hailey on Toddlers and Tiaras made me feel more positive for the future. But after watching this show I’m back to normal.
It’s not just economy changes they’re out of touch with.
They “could see” the Meemaw Kleenex box curtain dress on 100 women?
Anybody that hasn’t already seen it on about a squillion women every yr of their lives is also out of touch with everywhere that sells clothes and a scary % of weddings. Not to mention their Meemaw’s curtains and throw pillows.
+ 1 for Flamingay being on every reality show. He can’t open his mouth without a good sound byte coming out of it. But this episode had almost NO Flamingay. So you have to wonder what that means.
I was disappointed by ALL my 3 favorites. (Which are Mondo, Scarlett and Flamingay in case your turbo scroll was working right last week.)
Flamingay thought they were supposed to make a pumped up prom dress.
My theory is that Scarlett O’Scare decided to show Flamingay that no, that’s not the same as an opera dress. (He knew he’d win anyway since none of the judges ever went to the opera)
But it was too late. Hagatha had already imprinted Bridal Fear in Flamingay’s heart.
So before he knew what was happening he made half of an ugly ass bridal nightgown. Then the time ran out and all he could do was stick some black opera gloves on it.
Which could’ve been kind of awesome if he’d made a different dress. For a different challenge.
That’s where I think Mondo got confused. He was thinking it was supposed to be make a dress INSPIRED by an opera. If it was, he should’ve totally won.
April said hers was supposed to be about corpse brides and ombre. So now we know 2 other things she didn’t google while she was busy making oil spill cloth instead of googling a picture of somebody going to the opera.
I agree with Eyesack that Chunk’s looked like something Kim Kardashi-ho would put on. Whether she was going to the opera or the store. But I disagree about that being a compliment.
Somebody needs to go pull Sweat P’s ass out of that mature lady lounge wear rack at Walmart. I think she got stuck on a hanger or something.
On the positive side, it’s good she won’t be tied up taping Project Runway any more.
Because spring is right around the corner and there’s a whole mess of great grand Meemaws that need something they can put on when they have company for lunch out on the patio.
@Chanteuse, I am actually really loving Eye-sack’s comments. I find them helpful, for one thing. And when he doesn’t like something he still seems to judge it from the designer’s perspective and say how it went wrong from there. I’m getting tired of Kors et al seeming to have a template in their heads of what they want before they look at anything.
Kara’s Meemaw Kleenex floral gown only works for women named Laura Ashley.
I think Sweat Pee was confused. She thought they were saying Grand Ol’ Opry and they wanted a gown to be worn at the ribbon ceremony at a 1950s county fair. Too much ink in her bloodstream is what it is.
@itchy: Hah! I said the same thing to my mom. But even if Sweet P. did the bodice the way the judges wanted, she still would have been out.
I really liked Flamingay’s dress. I didn’t think I would when he was making it, and it didn’t look so good from the side, but from the front, it was really striking. I really loved the jewel belt thing too. Those boobies were so crazy looking though. From far away, they looked fabulous, but up close, they were so round and the skin so perfect that it was scary. Immortal boobies.
Hobosexual just barely escaped the bottom three…in fact, I think his dress was even worse than Kara’s. No woman wants to look like she has a flat but furry chest, while wearing a skirt big enough to hide a severe case of elephantiasis. Nobody wants that. At last Kara’s was wearable to somewhere, even if only to a Gone With the Wind themed prom for a senior home located in the middle of Kansas. Hobosexual’s dress is never okay.
And why does Kara’s face always look like that? Whenever she’s in the workroom, she always has this pleading-grimacing expression. It’s so frightening and Gollum-esque.
I tried to comment on this episode when it was fresh and current, but the site was down and I wasn’t able to comment after that. Anyway, I’ll try again as a test. What I’d attempted to say at the time was that April’s model looked as though she was still inside when that dying kid got his wish of blowing a building to smithereens.