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Friday, October 14, 2011
1:29 am
62 Comments
Tagged: flipit, funny, Lifetime, mylifetime, project runway, recap, spoof, TV, tvgasm
Previously on Project Runway: Bird Challenge! Miss Trinidad misunderstood the rules and did her hair as a cockatoo. She still won.
A cock two challenge? I’M IN!
Jersey Chore got so pissed about not getting help from Trini that he shoved Jesus Christ in between his hairy man tits and made Heaven weep, …
Jesus died for sins like adultery, gluttony and coveting. This is pushing it too far.
… and Matlock was sent back to Georgia to solve crimes and trick judges into letting his neighbors off murder charges. We’ll always have the hottest wattle in PROJECT RUNWAY HISTORY! Sorry Nina.
My wattle just got hard.
I have to be upfront and tell you that this is kinda hard to write already, because I have a new man in my life that won’t stop telling me what to say. This is my recap buddy for the night, Bueller. Please stop with the controlling bullshit, B.
The minute he saw Matlock he started crying. I hear ya little buddy. Now please, get your own gig.
We open this week with Jersey Chore droning on in his Thurston Howell voice about how he’ll miss having Matlock around to steal designs from and how Miss Trinidad is a hacky no talent slut. Jersey Chore wonders why no one takes him seriously, but Icktor is too much of a pussy nice to say it’s because he’s dressed like a gay clown bank manager. That flower probably squirts out black plague or some shit.
The whole world frowns with you.
He just can’t understand how Trini can get so far in a design competition with no talent. Um, first off, she can swallow like a pro and that’s a talent in this day and age. Second, you bedazzle shit and wear leopard print wife beaters with leash hooks and home made ribbon trim. The real question here is how you haven’t been sued for copyright infringement by The Nanny and every extra in Cruising.
Jersey Chore’s mood board.
Miss Trinidad is feeling da presha! She’s also gotta be feeling a little cold with those chains dragging on her chest like that. Those boobs are like dogs that won’t behave until you crate them for awhile and teach them who’s boss.
You two can come out of there when you have to go potty, or when the internet is cancelled so you can’t get into any more trouble. Whichever comes first.
Fat Bitch Heidi comes out looking like she ate a litter of puppies, their mother and father, and the entire dog pound they were about to be sent to.
Love what you’ve done with your hair.
This is the final challenge!! Wait. WHAT? Not that I’m complaining. I can use some time off to be evil to people in the real world, but how is this possible? Double elimination? PLEASE!! Eliminate Jersey Chore twice in a night. You owe it to the gay community and the world at large, Lifetime! Fat Bitch tells them a fairy will be with Tim to take them to Governor’s Island. Which fairy? I hope it’s not Gay Liotta again, especially after Chooch said I looked like him in the comments last week. BITCH FACE.
Oh. Fat Bitch meant a ferry would take them. That’s disappointing. I wanted to see some poor gay L’Oreal dude carrying these fuckers on his back. At least it’s a gorgeous day!
Please remove my hanging son from in between your hairy tits or I will drown you all. Love, God.
Jersey Chore says that feeling the wind on his face has reminded that there is actually such a thing as outside. Unfortunately, it doesn’t turn you burnt orange and it fucks up eyeshadow, so he vows to never try this nature crap again. He does, however, congratulate himself on being amazing “for the first time”. Today. Scared of nature? How do you think it feels about you? That rain is Heaven trying to tell you to WASH YOUR FUCKING FACE YA CROSSEYED FREAK.
Because what grown man doesn’t want to look like he’s about to go into combat in shorts while on his period?
Himberly is glad to be outdoors, but she gets a little scared when she sees the bald lady that awaits them.
I’m no psychic, but I’m gonna go out on a limb and predict that this won’t be a Garnier challenge.
This chick has been ordered to stay on Governor’s Island because of her obvious issues, and she tells the designers that the Island is the hub of NYC culture. LOL. Do you guys remember when Alex on Real Housewives of NYC had a party there and everyone was mortified at her tackiness? And then she got fired from the show. Coincidence? Point is, islands are gross and don’t have Starbux. Maybe there will be a smoke monster or some shit. Damn Lost. I have a feeling this episode’s theme will lead to a really disappointing ending that makes zero sense.
The challenge is to make three looks inspired by the island, which has modern art sculptures littered around it. So far all I see are awkward shapes, bad hair, and lots of grass. They might as well be in my apartment right now. The designers get to drive around the island in golf carts, which is awesome. Except that you can’t really run down pedestrians in those things properly, which begs the question: What’s the point of driving golf carts?
Himberly’s eye is caught by a circular piece, which inspires her to sketch a really fug dress. The art is called “New Beginning.” That art is trying to tell you to start that sketch over, girl.
Bare ankles AND knees? Malock would jiggle his wattle very angrily at this, young lady.
Jersey Chore says he has a brother in the military. I don’t know why he brought that up, cuz we all know exactly what he’s inspired by here, and it’s not killing terrorists.
Please stop chanting “shoot it.” You’re embarrassing.
He’s also inspired by a church, but doesn’t dare walk into it. Bimbo is inspired by trying to run over people on bikes, which makes me feel like we might have something other than cankles in common.
Meanwhile, Jersey Chore is getting a boner with his new favorite art.
Other way.
Icktor feels like he can’t win with the judges no matter what he tries, so he decides to just make some Mickey Mouse ears and call it a day.
Miss Trinidad is inspired by some loopy art, which means she can make a simple flowy sleeveless dress again. She says she won’t, but I no believy. Suckyfuckyfivedolla.
I think out of everyone, Himberly is having the most fun. Just look at her.
Over at mood, Jersey Chore buys some doily fabric, Bimbo buys the same stuff but in a super large version, and Miss Trini buys the same color Chore used last week. We don’t see much of Icktor. Poor guy bores the editors as much as he does us. Sad waxy dead skin horns. At the workroom, Bimbo tries her fabric on her dress form and Miss Trinidad says she’s already owned that outfit. Try again, sucka!
Tim comes in with a giant sack. Also, a bag with a twist inside. And that twist is…terrible ex designers to help them! They’re all true to their stereotypes, which is comforting. Doughy Christian is still doughy, Martha Plumpton is wearing an ill fighting, too bright thrift store dress with feather earrings, Dollivier the living Beigeian doll is in beige head to toe, Nutless has a fauxhawk and a lot of general pastiness, and Matlock’s wattle is jiggling excitedly like a fat lady on her way to the early bird Mervyn’s sale. Open open open.
Himbery has taken Martha Plumpton, who’s happy she is working with the only person who doesn’t judge her for her shoulder hair.
Icktor takes Dollivier, and Doll is icked out. You can tell cuz he says “Ew gwoss” and hugs Ick awkwardly.
He’s not blending into the backwound. I hatey heem.
Bimbo takes Nutless, leaving Jersey and Trinidad last. She laughs “Done fight wit me!” and he hisses that she’s a stupid whore c word and he hopes she dies a sad chlamydic death on the internet. She’s all “jeeze I was just playing.” She gets to pick first, and takes Matlock. Sure he’s a little grumpy, but he’s not Doughy Christian and right now that’s the only quality she needs to survive. Doughy is disappointed he’s stuck working under Herr Chore, because “he likes to control things.” LOL. You know that you’ve already been kicked off, right? You’re here for manual labor, kid. Buck up and get that glue gun heated up. The only thing you ever controlled was a sad sense of fashion and jiggly pasty underarms.
Trinidad isn’t quite sure what she wants to do, but she knows it’s not anything like what dumbass Bimbo is up to. Jersey Chore, on the other hand, smells tacky a mile away and goes about copying the circle fabric right off the bat. He has a patterned fabric that he instructs Doughy to start cutting out. HA. Doughy says “it’s sooooo you” in that “and you’re teeeerrible” kinda way. He talks him out of blatantly ripping off Bimbo, which really pisses me off. And while we’re at it, please, SLEEVES.
The best team by far is Icktor and Beigeian. Beige starts their session off by saying in twelve different accents: “I donna weally wanna do nutting.” LOL! He shakes his head and shrugs and disses every single thing Ick does and then tells us “dees is slave laybo. We don’d get paid an we donna care.” HAHAHAH! I’ve missed ya ya magical little freak!
Since Jersey Chore is a terrible designer and a terrible person, he spends his time hissing about how much Miss Trinidad sucks and how she’s only doing well because she’s pretty. Well you’re crosseyed, burnt orange, and slicked like a duck in an oil spill and you’re still here too so that theory is bunk. Doughy laughs evilly with him, but tells us that Jersey Chore is a jealous person and always will be. Miss Trinidad worries that Jersey hates her now, but honestly, who cares? Are you gonna go to lunch with this evil queen after this is all over? You’ll have to pay for everything and if you get up to go to the bathroom he’ll steal the eyeshadow and tampons right out of your purse. Good riddance.
The next day, Himberly is changing the stuff that isn’t working, which is almost everything. Jersey gets Bimbo insecure enough about her dress to dye it, and then goes back to sewing plastic all over his dress. LOL. Himberly is thankful for his tackiness, because it might just save her ass in the end. Tim comes in to check on progress, starting with Bimbo. All three of her dresses look like broken down skeeball machines.
Tim’s hating the circles, and he isn’t too happy that she’s just sitting there waiting for him to tell her how to change it, so he grabs her computer and tries to figure out how to get Grindr running.
There is a gay person two feet away from you.
Himberly has a lot of grey and orange going on, and nothing is looking good so far. Tim doesn’t think the textiles work together, and Icktor says it’s flat out terrible. Tim calls her ball gown “Statue of Liberty”. Please! That bitch would never be caught in that. You can’t welcome poor people to this country looking poor. No one would come in.
Tim loves everything Icktor so he just says hi and moves on to Chore. Tim has lots of compliments for his first piece, but Trini says Jersey is doomed. I pray that she’s right. I think Tim hates Chore, cuz he says everything’s great and encourages him to keep going. LOL. Trinidad is doing two dresses and some pants, and Jersey says that everyone has to do at least a jacket. I don’t know where he got this rule from, but it’s gonna be funny when he turns on Trini in front of the judges for breaking a rule that never existed. Ass.
I don’t know how anyone can call Trini unoriginal. If more people would design like this, the middle east might not hate us so much.
You’re ready for your driver’s license picture!…in case you ever get to drive.
Himberly’s designed a pair of pants for Jersey Chore.
Jersey is STILL whining about how terrible Miss Trinidad is. Now Icktor has joined in with him, and I cannot wait to see her kick both of their asses. Ick admits she’s a great designer with great ideas, but “who’s gonna sell her shit?” Um, people who like great designers and great ideas, you moron. Does Ronald McDonald show up every day to make the perfect hamburger? No. He hires illegal immigrants to do it. Does that mean his burgers suck? Look at the fat asses surrounding you next time you go to the mall for your answer.
Bimbo starts stressing out, which is hilarious because she only knows her work sucks because Tim told her. She cries because she only ever dreamed of showing at Yugo Fashion Week and being a Muppet Baby and if she gets kicked off today, both her dreams are dead.
Day of the Runway Show. Himberly has changed everything again, which is a really good plan. Hair and makeup time! SMOKE BREAK! You guys, I just saw a raccoon fight outside. Seriously. And it was less ugly than Jersey’s soul. Icktor and Jersey are both positive that they will be in the finals, and they feel the girls are dumb and interchangeable. Have you seen those dogs with the underbite that are so ugly they’re cute? Jersey’s not one of those.
To put things back in perspective, Matlock says that one of Jersey’s dresses is flat out shitty and the girl needs a baton. LOL!
And now a plug for the most important design tool of the season:
Ten minutes til runway, which means it’s time for Miss Trinidad’s “I’m da undoodawg and weel nevah feenish!” monologue. Not buying it, hooker. She could shit on the floor and she’d still win this shit. Runway time! Fat Bitch Heidi comes out on the runway with mustard on her face and fried chicken grease all over her dress. Let’s say hi to the judges! Hi Kors!
Hi Nina!
Hi guest judge Zoe Saldana! Man, I hope she’s a better judge than she is an actress. I went to see her last movie Colombiana and was rooting for her ass to get thrown into the pool filled with sharks. She took off her clothes well, though. In every scene. Yay to working out instead of going to acting class!
Please stay silent and don’t take anything off in judging.
When Fat Bitch says that one or more might be going home, Bimbo looks like she might barf. LOL. Jersey Chore is first and wow. Even more terrible than usual. White dress that doesn’t even come close to fitting and a mesh top. Yikes. And this was inspired by a church? Now I know what Henry the Eighth was thinking when he tried burning all those fuckers to the ground.
Look two looks like a window screen with a bad vest and confederate top. It does need a baton. To Jersey’s head.
Next is a silver sheet pinned over a tank top. Is this guy for fucking real? TERRIBLE. And ps there was no jacket here ya asshole.
Himberly is next. That orange Jersey Chore used last week is prevalent, and it’s giving me hateful flashbacks. Still, her jacket is frumpy/cute (what? There’s a market for that. Martha Plumpton is part of it.).
The next one looks like a ho-y bathing suit with a silver wrap as a skirt. I don’t get it, but it’s not nearly as terrible as it looked in the workroom. Still fug though.
Her third look doesn’t use the pink/orange crap, so I love it just for that. Otherwise it looks like a crushed Diet Coke can.
Bimbo is next, and she’s back to her Lawrence Welk Show roots. She was inspired by circles. Get it? Skirt’s pretty, though.
Her next look is for the woman who wants to remember the time of bread lines and government cheese.
The Great Depression
Number three is a funeral doily.
Now for Miss Trinidad. Her first look is straight up Matlock. Simple, black, and chic. It’s not very interesting, but it’s well done and doesn’t look ridiculous. First one of the night.
Next up are her pants. Ew to the rust, and I love that even when she makes pants they look like a flowy dress. The top seems to clash with the pants, no? Are they different colors? This looks like the always on the rag Jersey’s panties.
Her next dress is pretty plain, too. It’s made for a frigid woman. You can tell cuz the womb is frowning.
Icktor’s next. Cute cigarette pants, fug top and fuglier jacket.
Look 2 is a waitress skirt with a well made blouse in a gross pattern. Meh.
Three is a simple black dress that makes the model look like she has giant hips (YAY!). I would say this is the most boring ass thing I’ve seen all night, but he’s smart and knows that Heidi always loves a little black dress. Don’t all fat chicks?
So that was the final five. Sad, sad, sad. No matter what the challenge is, these yoyos always make drecky boring blah. The judges start with Jersey Chore, who blahs for way too long about the story behind his bs clothes. Kors compliments his diversity but says it’s still a bit overdone. Zoe says the gown is very Statue of Liberty, and Heidi says the fabric looks cheap and he probably likes it cuz it’s shiny. LOL. He hisses “Is that an assumption?” No, it’s a jab at your overt tastelessness. Kors says shiny can get cheap looking really fast, and Jersey rolls his head and seethes. LOVE IT.
Himberly. Zoe compliments the silver dress and the coat and gives her an overall wow. Kors thinks the coat looks like a collapsed souffle and hates the color palette. Heidi doesn’t think it goes together. Nina loves the silver dress but not much else. Him says she loved being here and thanks them for the opportunity, and Heidingo asks if it’s her goodbye speech. LOL. She’s always trying to start shit. It’s easier than finding creative designers.
Bimbo. Heidi calls her out for being nervous, and Bimbo cries ugly-ily about dreaming of being a designer. Pussy. Heidi has no sympathy. She loves the gown, hates the skirt, likes the depression dress ok. Nina pretty much agrees, but laughs openly at the depression dress. Zoe likes the gown, but that’s it. Kors likes the gown ok, hates the second, triple hates the third and says she choked.
Miss Trinidad. Nina likes the different angles of the clothes and says the collection is cohesive and pretty. Heidi, of course, loves the black dress. Kors says it’s sophisticated and she’s pushing herself. Jersey shits himself. He could be mad or just unable to control his loose butt. Zoe says the white gown looks like a condom and recommends using them next time she’s around a camcorder.
Icktor. Heidi calls him the best tailor, but the most boring designer. Nina loved it, but says he needs more personality. Zoe likes the waitress skirt but hates the fat hips on the black dress. Kors says his collection is the most commercial. So are Target clothes, which these would be. He meant all that as a compliment. As he would. I get that it’s your “thing” to wear all black all the time, but that’s not a “thing”. It’s just sad. You look like you smell like mothballs and death. Please discover pastels. So why do these jokers think they should go to Fashion Week?
Jersey says with the extra time to not be horrible he could be less gross. He would take Icktor and Miss Trinidad! That’s big of him. Or he’s a giant kiss ass and knows the judges love Trini. Himberly should go cuz she wants to change the face of fashion. Just change the face of your fashion, dude. Or just your face. You can get a plastic vagina, but jawlines are a novel everyone can read. She would take Trinidad and Bimbo, cuz they would be the most creative. Leave it up to the tranny to be the most allegiant woman around. Miss Trinidad says she’s unique (cries) and says she can taste it. No one wants to know what she means by that. She would take Jersey Chore because she can beat him easily and Icktor because she would kick his boring pallid ass in the end. Bimbo stutters and cries more about how she wants it. Heidi just gives her dirty looks and tries not to laugh. She would take Icktor and Miss Trinidad. Jersey looks pissed. HAHAH. Icktor pulls the immigrant card. He would take Jersey and Miss Trinidad. Love that these queens changed their tune after they heard the judges gush over Trinidad. WUSSIES!
In alone time, the judges gush more over Trinidad. They love Icktor’s sewing skills. They didn’t love today’s work, but he’s shown that he can design for Target so yay. I don’t understand any compliments Jersey gets, cuz I thought it was pure fug. Nina says she could shoot his stuff for the magazine. UGH. So there’s your top three. Bimbo can construct but has very little originality. Heidi likes that Bimbo cried, so she might send her to fashion week cuz she wants it most. Himberly’s jacket is dissed universally, and Heidi calls Him out on doing the same top she won with in the make Nina look fat and dressed three decades too young challenge.
The designers are brought back out. Miss Trini is in! Icktor is in! He says he’s not surprised. UGH. Go away. Jersey Chore is in! BOOOOOO! FUCKING HIDEOUS! He says that he’s starting to write his book and in the future he will be part of history. The Downfall of the Spray Tanned Ape Queen.
Bimbo’s out! WOW! Himberly’s in. I didn’t see that coming, but I like Him so I’m not sad. Plus, Bimbo was a c word to Burt so CYA BITCH! Nina tells Bimbo to keep being a good person, and Nina asks her to get pregnant soon cuz she’s hungry.
LOL!
Next week, we get to see the petrie dish Jersey Chore sprang from. Yikes. See you then!
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62 Comments
I was super bored during this episode. I think everyone played it really safe but more than that, they just aren’t interesting designers. Sigh… I’m getting tired just thinking about it again. I am seriously confused as to how Jersey Chore and Himberly are still around. If either of them win in the end, I will not be able to deal. Their collections are atrocious. WE DO NOT NEED MORE SQUIRCANGLES OR WRETCHENS! Judges! Get it together!
So I rewound and listened twice, and Chore calls the cannon “Artillerary.” I’m sure his brother in the military is super proud.
Only on the first page, but I’m impressed Flipit. You must never sleep! Loved the line about Jersey Chore’s Thurston Howell voice. I’ve been racking my brain trying to figure out who he was trying to sound like. It’s either that or Mrs Howell.
Beuller is adorable! How’s Zena taking it?
I’m so over Miss Trinidad and her superamazingnewlyfound sewing skills. Please! Bert sewed those clothes, his influence was all over her collection. It’ll be interesting to see if the other finalists question her ability to sew without help at fashion week.
That said, I’m not rooting for anyone to win this one. It’s all Gretchens and no Laura Bennets. A very disapointing season. God I hate Lifetime.
Oh, and was it just me that heard Heidingo introduce Zoe Saldana as “Zoe Zzzlzzzanzzza whose website is for STDs”? I’m thinking she doesn’t particularily like Zoe for her accent to go all Beigian on us.
themiki,
Ha! I thought the same thing.
My ears were also assaulted when Kimberly made a statement along the lines of “we had went” (vs. “gone”) Then again, none of these folks were picked for their speaking abilities, right? And, their design capabilities are very questionable, too.
I finally saw last week’s episode, and I can’t figure out how blond girl stayed and Bert got the boot.
And this week it was very convenient for Miss Trinidad to get help sewing. Why hasn’t anyone had the guts to point out during a challenge that she is incapable of finishing a garment on her own?
Was really hoping that Bimbo AND Himberly were out this week, especially considering how their horrible designs handed Jersey a spot in the finale!! Ironically, I though Bimbo’s gold-ish dress with the circles across the top that is shown in one of your screen grabs was her cutest. Somehow it ended up as the pillow case dress instead. Bad edit, Bim!
All of the designers still in the running get a massive FAIL for last night’s efforts. How lucky was Trinidad that she got Bert to help her?? He was able to sew her crazy, convoluted garments. They all looked like sheets tucked and draped and colored – like a demented KKK toga party.
Wake me when it’s over and Anya has won for her halter-flowy dresses. Zzzzzzz. SO ready for this flouncy flop of a season to be done and forgotten. Bring on the All-Stars, stat!
P.S. Love Bueller! Love your re-cap!
I used to love this site. The reviews were witty, snarky and clever. Now, however it’s just a stream of consciousness bitter rant pretending to be all those things, with an occasional reference about the show thrown in as an afterthought. This whole site has gone downhill because talent is being replaced by obnoxiousness, just like with television.
Additionally, when did it be ok to be racist and sexist? I guess being gay really doesn’t necessarily make someone more sensitive to things like that
So my prediction from last week was correct, Jersey Chore outlasted Bimbo and Himberly. Why Heidi, Why? I noticed there were no winners this week. I didn’t watch the very very end, but didn’t Heidi say there were three going to Fashion week, yet told Himberly she would get to make a line anyway? I was a little confused. Maybe if her line is better then Jersey Chore’s she’ll get to show instead? Epic moment: When Anya put her model’s dress on backwards (the white one). Sadly, I couldn’t tell the difference, obviously neither could Anya. Bring on the AllStars!! And of course: Bueller is adorable!!
Josh kept going on and on about what great sewing skills he has and how that makes him so much better than Anya. The ability to sew well doesn’t make you a designer – and his design skills suck. The judges didn’t love his clothes – they loved that he was able to edit himself and didn’t bedazzle the shit out of everything. He only didn’t do that because Bryce wouldn’t let him. He pulled out plastic and paint and that white fabric with the circles that he was going to cut out and make stained glass for the back of his dress. Edit himself? He doesn’t know how. The only challenges he has done well on are the ones where someone else told him to stop adding crap. The first time he won was for Anya design and Becky’s sewing, the second was for the little black dress that his client wouldn’t let him add anything else too. Personally I just think the judges want to see how much crap he can glue to a garment which is why he got a pass to Fashion Week.
Viktor should win this – boy can tailor and he can design, though he is very commercial. Anya stuff is just too out there for your average person – which means she will be the winner.
One final comment – I was watching re-runs of a past season and I noticed that previously the judges were offering actual constructive advice. Now they just seem to want to top each other with one-liners. Quit being not-funny Kors and go back to helping the contestents be better designers. Oh, and cast some actual designers next time.
I love your recaps, they are hysterical and some sentences literally stop me in my tracks because they are so darn clever. The use of darn however should be considered foreshadowing because I just wish you would tone down the use of profanity. Use it, of course but not quite as much. There you have it my unsolicited opinion.
Bueller is adorable!!
I love how Jersey trash talks the whole way through and then endorses anya for fashion week. what the hell is that? also is there a new trend where looking like you have 2 asses is cool? I don’t understand all these goiters on the skirts and dresses.
@SPOT you are crazycakes and not in the fun way. Flipit is hilarious.
@SPOT – That’s the great thing about the internet. If you don’t like a site, skip it and find something more suited to your taste. Me, I freakin’ love Flipit’s recaps.
I think the guys chose Anya as “deserving” to go to Fashion Week because they think she’d be an easy one to beat. I think they’re wrong. I couldn’t stand her in the beginning, but all the sniping is making me want to support her. I call it the Michael Costello effect.
Speaking of which, can’t wait for the cluster season to be over to All Stars can start!
I wish Flipit recapped the Aftershow, because we got a convoluted answer to Dollivier’s accent (a hybrid of wherever the fuck he’s been near or around.) I love how Dollivier tried to explain that he was confused by the concept of Double D and the creepy annoying hostess said she’d give him a lesson after the show was taped. Sidenote: Seeing Nick again on the aftershow made me realize how Season 2 was a high-water mark for characters and talent on this show and it’s been downhill after that.
After seeing hacks like Rami (who I think is coming back for All-Stars) do the same thing week after week during his Season, create a collection doing the same thing he’d been doing all season, I can’t really blame Trini for pleasing the judges and repeating it since the judges love it. That’s the key to success on this show, especially since the other contestants truly lack talent. While I think Viktor is super talented, I think they’ve painted him with the boring brush as an excuse to give the win to Trini.
And, what happened to how this show used to be, when they invite four people to Fashion Week, the third and fourth runners-up have to prove to the judges that their collections deserve to be shown in their entirety? Could you imagine Himberly and Jersey Chore having to do that? It would be the worst battle ever: Bedazzled vs. Lane Bryant!
It seems like at least once per season there is an asshole or two who decide that their view of the world it the ‘right’ one and they will force it down everyone’s throats come what may:
@SPOT – good fucking riddance. Hope to never hear from you again, you asshole. Wah wah wah…. Sad racist sexist world-hating Flipit-loving and proud of it horns…..
@nancy – fuck you you c word. Is that enough word-edit for you. I feel like a 5-year old who just won’t stop screaming ‘bitch! bitch! bitch!…’ just because mommy told him to not say it. Where do you get off telling people what words to use? Next time you’ll comment on WHAT to say, then what to THINK and the next – what? On what Flip should wear while writing the recap maybe? Or will you call his puppy something mean? fucking assholes…
@Flipit – you’re the sunshine in my sky (and my husband does not mind), and my doggie Kaya sends millions of kisses to Bueller, as actually do I. You raise the standards of human consciousness
by sharing with us your witty, snarky, hillarious observations. And to those who can’t take it – go watch C-SPAN or grass grow…
NOOOOO!! Just read that Project Runway All Stars has been delayed. Not starting in November, but sometime in 2012? Flip, Nads – say it ain’t so!!
PS – Flip you rock. 100% agree with @polk8dot
About the last part re: @flipit.
Flipit…please tell me you’ll be recapping Project Accessory…which looks like it has the potential to be hilarious, as people create crap that no sane person would wear. Kind of like the clothes on PR.
Actually, it would be hilarious if Accessory contestants had to create things to go with past PR pieces. Wouldn’t you love to see what they would make to go with Emilioth’s pink string and washer bikini?
SPOT strikes me as one of those posers who has actually never been here before, but is afraid to be honest and say this was his first time here and it isn’t his cup of tea. If he doesn’t like it here, perhaps Entertainment Weekly is more suited for his bland palate.
That said, I also see nancy’s perspective. The writers at TVGasm are all brilliant enough to not have to rely on profanity…and many times profane words have more impact when they’re used sparingly. On the other hand, what the hell do I know?
“I love to swear, and I don’t know that I’m not allowed to swear. What if I get up to Heaven and God’s like, “Hey man, welcome to fucking Heaven!” and I’m like, “You can swear here?” And he’s like, “Fuck yeah! It’s fucking Heaven. Where the fuck in the bible does it say you can’t fucking swear?”"
That being said, I think Nancy was pretty nice about her request. It won’t get me to stop swearing or anything, but I don’t think she was being unreasonable.
That being said…
Damn you, lack of an edit button! ***shakes fist at bb***
“Sad waxy dead skin horns”. Oh my God. I died laughing. I choked. I spit coffee. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
I feel so sad and alone…why does no one like Jersey Chore?! I love him so much lol. I can’t wait to see what he does for Fashion Week too.
My only thing about him is his sudden hate for Miss Trinidad. I understand that she can’t sew to save her life and it’s frustrating to see her getting all those props, but she is my lady love. So he needs to back off and focus on his own stuff.
Ummm…oh yeah! When Victor was also talking shit about my lady love, I thought he said “Who’s gonna sew her shit”. Which I felt was a reasonable question. I know that big designers don’t make their own stuff, but to show at fashion week, she will have to. And if she can’t do certain things (like a jacket or proper sleeves) it does’t bode well for the level of range she’ll be able to show.
I think it’ll come down to Miss Trini and Victor for who will win, but I feel like Mr. Victor will take it in the end. But of course, because I said that, it probably won’t be. The person that I want like never wins. -_____-
Chaos I am watching after the runway now and it is only cementing my dislike for that jerk! Lol! Love you though! Thanks for reading/commenting you guys! It makes my day reading what you have to say! And nancy yes I will watch my mouth! Xo
I’m with Melissa, “Sad waxy dead skin horns” HAHAHAHAHHAA!!! Flippy, you be brill!!!
SPOT, “it’s just a stream of consciousness bitter rant pretending to be all those things, with an occasional reference about the show thrown in as an afterthought.”
You say that like it’s a bad thing . . .
Obv. you don’t realize that Mr. Flip it is the King of Gasm and if I’m not mistaken, everyone tries to emulate him . . . yes, he’s that good.
I tend to swear muchly when I get frustrated . . . I seem to recall swearing a few blue streaks bout Wretchen for weeks! I agree that Nancy asked in a nice way.
I missed that Jersey had circle fabric . . .can’t wait to see what he comes up with on his own.
And . . . Him and Jersey are fer sure duking it out for spot three . . . some of these comments don’t seem to reflect that. I really do hope Him knocks him for a loop!!!
I also agreed with Nina . . . why in heck did Him not do pants and shorts–you know, things she does well!?
I thought Zoe was great, actually, and can’t believe she was the only one to call out Ick on that waist piping . . . WTF was he thinking!?
I often wonder, though, why these supposed leaders of fashion can’t even dress themselves. And that’s been true EVERY season.
Hey Flipit, ou have a stong dislike for Josh, but honey I understand in the back of your mind, if he was based in LA and not New York, you would hit that. Don’t shutter, you know you would.
xoxox.
This season was the worst, but Flipit’s recaps made it worth watching. “Because what grown man doesn’t want to look like he’s about to go into combat in shorts while on his period?” LOLOLOL! And “suckyfuckyfivedolla” makes me laugh every damn time.
Only on the first page. Had to just stop to tell you that your doggie is pretty freaking cute.
Loved the recap. Snarky, clever and funny.
Just how it always is. And this comp is more about personality now than actual exciting design. Anyway, Bert. Loved him.
After watching a bunch of early season reruns, I am astounded how little work has gone into this season. Those early designers were BRINGING it every challenge…Austin making that kick-ass cornhusk dress for the unconventional challenge? And that boy knew how to dress gay with style…and without stooping to Chore’s tacky International Male plastic skeeviness.
They are totally keeping Chore for the final just for the dramedy. Can you IMAGINE the tearful bullshittery that will ensue when Tim goes to Chore’s “studio” and meets his family and friends?
Congratulations for getting adopted by such a cute dog!
@melissa the same stuff happened to me when I got to “gay clown bank manager”
This episode sucked but I didn’t care because I knew I’d get to come read this and also because I got to see my Inappropriate Hopeless Crush Olivier The Beigeian again!
I’m wondering how Anya will sew all the stuff too. Unless she just made that up about learning to sew 4 mo ago.
I thought the black dress they all liked so much was 1 of her worst things she’s done though. Still she’s smart because the history of clothes all over the world has a lot of drapy flowy for a reason. It looks good on everybody.
Do they have them go to just 1 part of Mood? Because if they don’t it totally looks like they’re copying each other. How would 2 people both even think of that big giant lace stuff? Or that traffic cone orange color.
1 of my favorite things about this site and what makes it the best is that people talk regular and don’t have to try to sound like a book report.
So if you’re going to watch your mouth please just watch it keep saying funny stuff.
They make these programs for super religious people that’ll put in **** for words they think are a big deal so they can read stuff from modern times and not worry about going to hell if they laugh.
So angry. Jersey. Hate. ^%$*#^^.
@lajane81 I finally got around to watching the after show and OMFG! However awful I thought Jersey Chore was, he’s like a million times worse!
They had a whole montage of him being mean to Martha Plumpton and just the way he says her name even was just plain hateful! It was way more extreme than I realized.
Jersey Chore is not a nice person. There’s no way a nice person could ever talk like that to somebody. I don’t care if it’s a lot of pressure or you have issues.
Poor Martha Plumpton needs an emergency stylist. It was bad enough but now she’s got herself a grandma haircut.
I mean even more grandma so I guess it’s a great-grandma haircut. The way she styles herself is like somebody that’s 60. And I mean like an old timey 60 yr old not a modern times 1 that just looks regular.
1 last thing. Why Olivier The Beigeian talks like that. They didn’t do a good job of explaining it but basically I was right.
He was born in Ohio but he lived in Taiwan when he was little. I bet you anything the English he heard there was people from England or who’d learned English from some.
Sometimes if you hear a language 1 way when you’re a kid that’s how it’s going to come out of your mouth your whole life no matter where you go.
Like if your 1st Spanish came from people from Mexico when you were little in Indonesia. No matter how many places and languages happened by the time you grew up and moved to Bolivia, they’d know you didn’t get your Spanish there, and some of them would argue about if your accent sounded Mexican or fake.
He did explain the double D thing and it’s a good question that I’ve always wondered too. Why don’t they have BB or CC? Having it go A B C D DD E doesn’t make much sense.
Maybe the bra sizing thing has to do with men having been the initial manufacturers. Try saying “Double D” while lasciviously and suggestively raising your eyebrows.
Flipit you nailed Josh’s irritating voice for me. Thurston Howell, what a pathetic poser that one.
I too immediately thought of RHNY Alex Bday party on the island. The visitors bureau may want to rethink who they allow to extoll the island’s virtues on camera. Those two have me thouroughly convinced it’s a hip cool place to visit. Not!
Yes Josh is an even bigger douche on the after show. They all are. I cannot get over how Trini, Laura and Victor (last week) defend and comfort that douche as if he is the one who has been attacked. If Laura wants to maintain her relationship with Josh and Trini, her taste in clothing isn’t her only problem. Yeah Laura comes across as a bimbo, the other two sleaze. Ewww.
@Gif I too wonder how many who hate Josh wouldn’t mind hittin’ it if given the opportunity. I mean everybody wants to bed a cheap sweaty hairy slut or the poor mans Andrew Cunanin(sp) right? That is one bitter hateful trick.
When I saw Anya trotting around Mood in nothing but a bra top, and then later saw those cans rattling under the chains, I thought to myself, “Whoa, what’s up with the gratuitous boobage today?”
Then I remembered…she’s a whore.
This entire season has been a heaping pile of boring with a side of sliced boring and some hot, steamy boring poured over everything for good measure.
I really, truly didn’t want to believe that Anya has had it in the bag since day one. Truly. But seeing the dreckitude put out by all the designers on this challenge, her included, and hearing the judges spout their little verbal orgasms to her yet again, I am convinced.
The game is rigged, the fix is in and Miss Trinidad takes it home.
Blech.
timssister…please don’t use “dreckitude.” It makes Andre Leon Talley believe he”s relevant.
You guys – “artillerary”? How would he feel if we said “self-tannerary”?
Gawd – I love how he’s falling into the abyss of P.R. villains…
I have to take issue with the “Then I remembered…she’s a whore” thing. At least the editing this season has never shown her being nasty to anyone else, quite the contrary, and up until the end there, she always seemed to be the first to help out the others (probably since, with the exception of Icktor, they all helped her). I feel bad for her that the sex tape was leaked, since who the fuck cares what two (or three or more) consenting adults do in the privacy of their own homes. Having sex (and having sexy times!) does not make you a whore.
I agree though that it’s kind of sad that she’s clearly the only one of these designers with any actual talent. It would have had a real competition for the finale. (I think Bert should have made it to the finale, he’s the only other contestant with a real design sense, even if his stuff isn’t revolutionary.)
And who cares if she can’t sew as well as the others just yet? She’s obviously a fast learner and shows all the signs of someone who takes this pretty seriously. And she’s definitely shown she’s capable of following her inspiration to produce something that looks wearable (albeit, only by hot, sexy women, but hey, who’s gonna complain about that?).
Then again, I’ve always had a thing for gals who shave the sides of their heads (remember Bow Wow Wow?). So I’m partial.
Yeah, all that’s true, itchy. But she’s a whore.
Stella!!! I didn’t see one designer hammering studs or grommets into their garments with great rage. Glue gun, schmoo gun. Hammering clothes is what the design world needs more of.
Yes Itchy, sexytimes is OK in the privacy of one’s own home. Filming it and putting it out there makes one a whore.
Love Bueller. Is Xena still with us?
She’s a famewhore, of that there’s no doubt. But are you sure she’s the one who put the video out there? Unless she’s trying to become another Kim Kardashian. But then she wouldn’t have come on this show.
No, I’m assuming she did, because she’s a whore. Who knows? Why film it in the first place, especially if you are someone of notariety, i.e. beauty queen. Don’t all those pageants have strict guidelines for their contestants?
She didn’t put it out there though. It was stolen from her boyfriend’s computer (or maybe he did it himself) and put on the internet without her knowledge, so that kind of makes her a victim.
I hate how it’s usually the man who unleashes the sex tape into the world, but the lady is always the one who gets called names.
I just like calling people whores.
Thirty years ago when video cameras became available to the general public, EVERYONE started filming themselves. And the rapture still hasn’t happened.
Anyway, you have to figure this will only help her career in the fashion industry.
I really, really wanted to see Jersey go home today. Every single outfit he sent out was hideous! Hideous, I tell you! I have no idea how he got this far.
Icktor is so damn boring and such a bitch. He went well with the Beigian, since they’re both hideous bitches with no personality.
I did laugh evilly when they sent Bimbo home. I hated her simply for hating Matlock. I love me some Matlock and was horrified when he went home, even though he kinda deserved to. He should have been kept in based solely on personality since no one this season is actually a good, original designer.
I hope Trini wins. I haven’t been her biggest fan, but I did decide I might not hate her when she stopped hating Matlock. At least some of her stuff is pretty. But what do I know about fashion? I wear jeans and pit-stained t-shirts that I’ve had for 20 years featuring Beavis and Butthead and The Cure.
Here’s to hopefully watching Jersey burst into flames in the next episode!
@chaosbutterfly You’re right. It’s totally a double standard. I’ve heard people try to back it up by saying well the boys don’t ever get as much $ and look at the empire Kim K got and then look at Ray J’s.
But I think anything he got was from being Brandy’s brother and her getting sued for that car wreck. Plus Kim’s mom turned out to be way better at pimping and you can’t really compare the moms because Brandy really can sing.
If Miss Trini does win PR I wonder if people will say oh well it’s because of her sex tape…
@itchy That reminds me I put a link to the Kim tape for you in the other thread but they took it off.
Which they were actually right to do because some companies are fighting over who should get the $ from charging people that don’t know anybody in middle school.
So links that have it free have become controversial and I apologize for not thinking about that.
Anyway if you didn’t see it before it got deleted and don’t know any Tweens that have it on their hard drive PM me.
@SPOT congratulations, you had lots of people answer to your ridiculous rant, your existence has been validated, now please go back under the rock from which you crawled and fade into obscurity where you so rightly belong. In other words, fuck off douche, Flip is the finest of tvgasm and personally I appreciate the delightful mosaic that well placed profanity paints plus I love to fucking swear!
I wish Matlock was going to fashion week, butthisseason totally blows.
Oh and I loved the she’s a whore comment almost made me laugh a hard as waxy dead skin horns, damn that was good.
Flip I love your puppy! Don’t let Zombie see him!
Not to worry, I have no interest in seeing Kim Kardashian with her clothes ON, much less with them off, much less (shudder) watching her have sex.
I’m convinced SPOT is a certain current PR contestant.
Flipit – thank you for making me laugh during my lunch hour! Brilliant! SPOT, seriously, here boy…get the stick!! (throws it in the highway at rush hour)…Good boy!!!
On the first day of Fall, my DVR gave to me: 3 evil judges, 2 hissing gays, 1 non-sewing designer, and an overwhelming urge to pull up old episodes with Christian Siriano in it.
And Flipit, the book that I think will be about Jersey Chore will be entitled “Who the house should have fallen on, Dorothy!”
@ Flipit: NOOOOO! Don’t stop swearing. I LOVE when you swear, the more the merrier! In my job I have to be super polite and positive, with pristine language. Coming to this sight is like going to a happy hour that lasts well into the wee hours of the morning; we all get sloppy drunk, curse out those we hate, beat on each other and generally do things we can’t fully remember the next day. At least I do. I shudder to think what would happen if you turned lamo and edited yourself. You might become as boring as this episode was! You are not Jersey Chore! Throw on all the embellishments you want!
P.S. I still remember a line you wrote for last season of RHOBH, something about stalking the grocery boy you were in love with–regarding Kim’s attitude about Fartin being the one to call her first. Whenever I need a laugh, I think of how funny that line was and how happy it made me when I read it. Please don’t change. Ever.
@Shana – AGREED
@Flipit – I understand some people are offended by profanity, but I wouldn’t change you or your recaps for anything! Your Project Runway recaps brought me to the site and inspired my lazy ass to actually try at something besides baking cookies and eating them myself while watching bad TV!
People who are easily offended should go to EW for their recaps. It’s the equivalent of eating white bread. Without the crust.
Flip, this line made me laugh out loud “I’m no psychic, but I’m gonna go out on a limb and predict that this won’t be a Garnier challenge.” LOL. I still can’t stop laughing. This season is awful…full of hacks. I have to say, Beuller is gorgeous!!!