Previously on Project Runway All Stars, Kenley played the Harvey Feirstein role in Hairspray on Broadway,

Mondo let his negative attitude fuel him to a win,

You’re not good enough, you’re not smart enough, and people don’t like you.
And Janky was kicked off, giving us the best man tears of the season on her way out.

You’re dripping testosterone onto your t-shirt.
We open this week with Mila saying she’s still here because of her risk taking. You’re still here because your home made bangs entertain Harvey Weinstein. Also, he’s probably holding out hope that you’ll eventually kill Bullwinkle.

I veel gayt dat bool.
Scarlett O’Scare talks to Kenley about missing Janky. Who is there to try and out-butch now? You can shave that mustache, now, Scarlett. He thinks that even though she didn’t make anything good this season at all, like not even close, that Janky deserves to be here. Certainly more than Mila or Jerell the Hobosexual. He should have been kicked off the day the first contestant found lice in their hair, but no one said this was gonna be fair. Just be quiet and concentrate on the tracks. No one likes a train wreck.

Choochooooooo girl!
Scarlett and Kenley vow to inspire each other now that Janky’s gone. I hope this ends with Scarlett getting a cat thrown in his face.

Lesbians are gross.
Angela HideMe Lindvall meets the designers at the UN. This can only be bad for the world. We don’t need to bring our fashion to other countries, we need to take more cues from theirs. For example, Mila might get more dates with fashions from the Middle East.

Maybe cover the wonky eye and you’d be super popular.
Why is HideMe dressed like Little Orphan Annie? Someone needs to adopt her ass and take her far, far away.

I’ll take the skinny one who looks shocked all the time.
HideMe explains what the UN is. Duh. It’s where all the countries come together to fuck the people over even more. NO! It’s where the countries come together to find solutions to the world’s biggest problems! Which are leggings. Also, climate change, human rights, and world peace. So basically the UN does nothing worthwhile, because none of that shit’s been solved. And really? Climate change? When exactly did that switch over from global warming? Fuckin’ government.
The challenge is to design something for a specific country. Chunk prays that he gets Greece, “me bein’ Greek an awl!” You’re Greek like french fries are French. Made in America and filled with empty calories. I approve. I love french fries! You’re ok too, Chunk. Please cry more.
Mondo takes Jamaica cuz he likes the pretty colors. Chunk gets Greece and does some squats in celebration. It’s disturbing. Hobo says he only took that country so he could drape. Yup. You better hope whatever country invented gluing bottle caps to whore clothes stays open long enough for you to take it. And you seem to have a lot of problems with draping for someone who’s literally wearing drapes.

Mila takes Papa New Guinea because they don’t have straight bangs there, Hobo takes India, and Scarlett takes Seychelles. Huh? Where the fuck is that? Was China busy? Kenley gets stuck with Chile, who has a flag that looks like Texas’. Red white and blue. I hope she focuses on Texas’ unwillingness to let polka dots become a thing of the past. I have faith.

Chile should be sued for copyright infringement.
Kenley is glad that no one picked her because when her design sucks she can blame the flag and not herself for picking it. LOL. The designers spread out over the grass for some private sketching time. Kenley squeals at Austin across the lawn anyway. She kinda sucks in any country. Mila is worried about going too tribal with her looks. Do natives color block? There aren’t any models with saggy enough boobs to pull of the National Geographic look, so she’s just gonna pick some really big earrings and hope for the best. You’ll never believe what Chunk is sketching:

I’m excited to see tonight’s process of taking this sketch and then making pants and a t-shirt.
Mila doesn’t like this new budding Scarlett/Kenley friendship. Why do people have to be so….nice? It’s gross. On this, we agree. You should never be nice to someone like Kenley, because it’s like a green light for them to come over and squeal and cackle during your TV watching and you know that skank would eat all the dip. Scarlett takes Kenley’s gushing compliments and squeals and “I’m proud of yous” as a good sign for his design. I take his taking it as a good sign as a sign he’s gonna get kicked off tonight. In the meantime, there’s no reason not to try to get a good man while shopping.

Anyone? Anyone?
Kenley found polka dots! JESUS! Just put a crown on Mondo’s head and let’s call it a season. Mila is, yes, color blocking. For the natives. LOL!! She wants to stay true to who she is, and who she is is too tired to come up with anything new. She’s in good company.

They have their own version of Cruella DeVille there, right?
Scarlett can’t come up with anything. Turns out he didn’t pick a country called Sea Shells and has no idea what the hell Seychelles is. Just make some super high waisted pants and be done done with it.
When Hobo thinks of India, he thinks of embellishments. Which means he’s gonna glue gun shit. Can one person here at least TRY to do something different this week? When I think of India, I think of customer service and kids covered head to toe in shit. Damn you, Slumdog Millionaire!

What Hobo will undoubtedly send down the runway tonight.
Hagatha Coffee comes in in really really yellow pants. She says “This is the most talented group of people in Project Runway HISTORRRRYYYY!” She says it in that “is she kidding or not?” kind of way, which makes me kinda like her. Mondo is making dress to be worn sans bra, which offends Hag. Please. Have you been to Jamaica? Me neither. I forgot my point.
She makes her way over to Hobo and says that his work looks like a national costume. He’s pissed. She could have been gentler and called it a whore who works the Keebler Elf tree block, but she didn’t. Just deal.

Joke’s on her, though, and she won’t know it until she reaches into her pocket later to get change for the soda machine. Chunk is working on a piece for the KKK prom, and Hag loves it but says he’s not really reaching. If you want him to reach, put a bag of doritos in front of him. She’s right, but he’s not gonna listen. No one listens to someone wearing bright yellow pants. There’ve been studies. Hag is worried about the lack of a bra and Chunk is offended. She meant on the model, Chunk.

Yay white people!
Scarlett’s work is a total mess at the moment. He pitches it for a few minutes, and Hag is offended that it’s the third dress in a row with no bra. HAAH. She was alive during the Women’s Movement, right? Bras are only around to mold boobs into a shape acceptable to men! BURN EM! Hag kisses Mila’s butt and moves on to call Kenley’s polka dots hacky. Kenley blahs about how it’s new and not the same damn thing she does every single week, even though the editors show us the same shit she does every single week. Mondo asks us “why is she still here?” Because the judges hate dimpled knees. I miss you Gordana!
Kenley ignores everything Hag says and brushes her off. Yellow pants. Chunk ignores Mondo’s advice too, which is way worse because Mondo was right on the money when he said Chunk’s dress was “Grease Frightening.” HAHAH.
Meanwhile, Scarlett is inching closer and closer to Tootsie territory with each segment.

The next day, Scarlett’s dress is still fug. Thankfully, Hobo’s is way way way uglier. Scarlett says “It’s one of the most tasteless, vulgar…hideous things I’ve seen in my entire life.” That’s saying something, considering how much of Hobo’s other work he’s seen. Hair and makeup time. SMOKE BREAK!
HideMe comes out on the runway looking bored with her own shock.

Today’s guest judge is some chick who became famous making a dress out of the American flag. I’m definitely with the flag burners on this one:

Hobo’s out first. India just cried. Then she stole a wallet off a trick’s nightstand.

I think Kenley thought her flag was for chile the food product, because she made a diarrhea skirt.

The ice skating was going so well and then bam. Never eat before a competition.
Scarlett’s work comes out WAY better than we were led to believe it would, but it looks too much like the gown that got him kicked off the Grammy challenge of his season. Bad sign.


Mondo made a black dress for Jamaica, which is full of black people. Racist much?

He added some colors from the flag on the back, but too little too late. A simple black dress. SHAME!

Mila’s makes no sense for the challenge either, but at least it’s kinda interesting. Cruella goes to a cocktail party.

Chunk is next, and Mondo was right. She looks like she was just awarded a ribbon. LOL. Best pjs at the fair.

The judges start with Kenley. They all love it. Eyesack tells her to stop doing the same thing over and over, even though he compliments all of her stuff. HideMe opens Hobo’s critique with a compliment about the stripe down the arm, and Flag gives him credit for the good idea. WTF? The fact that the judges aren’t barfing all over the place right now makes me lose even more faith in them.
Chunk’s dress is called “beauty pageant” and “acceptable.” HideMe says the bow would look better on a Xmas present. Scarlett’s dressed is called pretty but badly colored. HideMe says it’s not the worst thing she’s seen this season. Even she knows that this season is full of crap. Eyesack likes Mondo’s black dress but not the tribute to the flag on the back. Eyesack says he gets communism from Mila’s dress and says it’s disturbing to look at. So well done. This show confuses the hell out of me.
In alone time, the judges repeat themselves. Mondo wins! With a fucking jersey black dress. In any country, black hides fatness so it will always win. Kenley would have taken it if she didn’t do the same damn thing every week. And if she didn’t cackle. And didn’t squeal. Or jump. Or speak. Mila and Hobo are in the bottom. If Hobo stays over Mila, there is no justice. And as we all know that’s totally true anyway….HOBO’s SAFE!!!! WTF?!?!?! I’m not a huge Mila fan, but that’s just wrong.
Mila says that she’s evolved and grown as a designer by ignoring challenges and advice and just doing whatever the hell she does every day anyway. Eight episodes in, and I’m starting to get pissed. It looks like next week is a Christmas Tree challenge of some kind, so there’s hope. Oh wait. Eyesack says “I didn’t see any pretty woman walk down the runway.” Never mind.
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30 Comments
OK really sorry about that. Had to mess around with this and repost with pics that worked! Sorry for the trouble. I lost the previous comments because I had to start a fresh post! THANKS for your patience. xo
How is that hack Jarrell STILL there? At least Kennly’s clothes are cute, even if it’s the SSDD every challenge – they’re not totally offensive to look at. Mila’s dress was pretty odd but at least it didn’t look like someone threw up fabric all over her then glued it down. I do not understand why Jarrell is still there or was even asked to do the show in the 1st place. Talk about not being All-Star worthy.
That’s OK, Flipit, I know it was all J-Mo’s fault!
Thank you!
Ugh. I didn’t like anything that went down that runway but Mondo’s was least offensive. How could they have liked that thing Kenley made??? And I’m like you, how in the hell is Hobo still around. This season has been so boring. And I’m wondering how long it took Scarlet to pack all those hideous hats and where he’s storing them.
This was my first thought when Kenley’s dress came down the runway (hers is on the left). It’s exactly a dress she made on her season (5? 6?) only in different colors. Man, I wish I was as creative as she was.
http://themathnerd.xanga.com/668431182/item/
Bonus! That link includes a fugly Hobosexual creation!
Kenley’s dress looked like something at a Forever 21 reject sale. Mondo’s dress was definitely the best. Chunk made his model look fat, and Miss Scarlet should be thankful that hot mess of a dress didn’t get his ass sent back to Tara. Finally, why, why, why, why, WHY GOD is Hobo still on this show????!!!!!
@sweetroisindubh-thanks for that! I knew Kenley’s dress looked familar. Mila’s dress (even though it reminded me of Victor/Victoria) was at least well sewn. Hobo’s was a freaking mess, the shoulder was halfway down the model’s arm, the white stripe was bunching up all over the place, so I can see why Mila’s a little bitter. Did anyone else watch the stupid question/answer show that came on after the show? I watched about half and what I saw was a waste of time. Hope you and J-Mo have a great time at the Oscars!!
This is the most talented group of designers in the history of Project Runway? I hope she was trying to be sarcastic otherwise there really is no hope left for this show! Ahh the good old days, Laura, Uli, Santino etc., now those were some talented designers!
What the Hell?? They kept Hobo and got rid of Mila? Sure, Mila’s dress was ugly and bizarre, but at least it was made well.
Half the dresses on the runway, when shown close, were sewn so badly or just plain unfinished. I like Chunk, but even his dress wasn’t fitted properly in the back. Or fitted at all. Whatever. Looked like something last season’s “winner” would make. Or pin in place. Whatever.
Kenley’s dress was confusing. Neckline up to the ears….long sleeves…but the model’s ass nearly hanging out. Also if you hold Kenley’s nose, she wouldn’t be able to talk. Man, that girl is nasal.
Please shoot Eye Sack Miserably. And give Mondo his prize so we can end the season and get to some new meat…with the old judges.
I got deleted!! No fair. Ah well, at least I can see the pictures now.
I was upset that Mila was elimiated over Jerell only because Mila’s dress was obviously the better sewn, better tailored dress. Jerell’s was just a hot mess. When the only thing the judges can compliment you on is the (badly) sewn stripe on the sleeve of your “dress”, then you need to be off my tv.
Kenley’s design was a replica of something she sent down the runway during the finals of her season – only that one had rope on it. It was ugly then, it is ugly now.
Jerell was chosen to do All-Stars because he came in second during his season, and he actually showed some well-made, talented designs. Not sure what happened to him since then, but he just sucks now.
Jarrell didn’t come in 2nd. He was eliminated before he even got to show his collection. He placed 4th. Kenley, Korto and Leanne were the finalists – Korto actually placed 2nd that season, Kenley finished 3rd because she was a plagiarizer and claimed ignorance of that.
Flipit, bless you for another great recap. Gotta disagree with you on the bras. After watching RHOA and foot long boobs in other real housewives franchises, me likes the bra.
Joanna’s pants were hideous and not flattering on her whatsoever.
Mondo was the best of the lot. He is doing little wooden boys proud.
Oh, gee, did Kenley make another polka dot dress with ruffles coming out of it? And did she cackle and snort on the workroom floor again? It is like Groundhog’s day in hell with that one.
So Hobo throws up some fabric, tosses a crown on top of it, and he lives to see another challenge? I was not a fan of mopey Mila, but even I could see that hot glue gun mess of Hobo’s was not a winner.
Chunk didn’t cry or make Lillian Gish movie faces, but at least Austin was back on track with his gayer than Christmas self.
I just love Austin. At least he’s his own…um…person. Unfortunate colors, but I liked the flow of his dress. Liked Mondo’s back. Almost said it should have been the front, but that would not have worked, would it?
Catherine Malandrino is a decent designer who makes midlevel expensive clothes (a few hundred dollars). She’s been a guest judge on PR before. I think it was in the season that Jeffrey won. Her name popped up in the fashion news a little while ago because her brand was losing money and got saved in a deal with Elie Tahari.
I’m telling you all of this because the “fashions” were so weak this episode I don’t even want to comment on them.
Oops – you are correct Cheryl. I knew he was 4th, have no idea why I typed second.
..and with that we now know what really causing riots in Greece!
Please God, let this season be over soon.
Anyone who got red, white, and blue as their colors had an unfair advantage. I realize it was the last flag and Kenley didn’t chose it on purpose. But, all Americans have seen just about every variation on red, white, and blue… and some of it would work for Chile.
Catherine Malindrino’s U.S. flag stuff was embarrassingly fugly. Who would want to wear that? (Someone, I’m sure.) Besides that, she has some excellent designs.
They probably should have made this an extralong challenge. Most countries’ flags and their “national costumes” don’t look that much in common.
Why did Chunk have so much trouble using white and blue? Maybe he ought to have thought it over a little longer. He also should learn his model’s size.
Kenley’s model is awesome. SHE has made some of the samey, same so forth stuff look fresh. It does help that it appears well sewn, so it is more like clothes (imagine that) than an awkward glue and fabric sculpture.
It is refreshing that Kenley is taken in stride by the other contestants. People on her season acted like she was really mean.
This challenge fizzled. Who chose The Seychelles as one of the flags? Because Kenley already used most of their colors in the Broadway challenge.
Kenley WAS really mean. I seem to remember she was unforgivably rude to Tim Gunn — did I dream that? Can anyone remember? I was reminded of that incident when she acted like she had no idea what Isaac was talking about when he told her to send another dress down the runway next time. And when HideMe reminded her that she’d been warned she gave this little giggle that sounded like, “Oooohhhkaaay — whatever, you crazy judges with your incomprehensible jokes.”
It’s too bad they can’t just give the prize to Mondo, and cancel the rest of the show. I feel like this whole “all-stars” season is an excuse to right the wrong that happened when Gretch the Wretch won over Mondo; he’s clearly the most talented one on the show. I don’t see anyone else taking the win.
And I miss Tim Gunn.
I agree 100% with you, sarahthrered. This season is boring, the judges are boring, and it’s as if they gave the entire cast double doses of prozac and valium. With the exception of Kenley, unless maybe she’s ADD and it had the opposite effect on her. I just can’t stand Eyesack, partly because I read Tim Gunn’s book and he didn’t have anything good to say about him and what’s good for Tim is good for me. And I miss Tim and Heidi, and Eyesack makes me yearn for Pumpkinhead Kors. And that’s reason enough to hate him.
Yeh, I just wish they would FF to the end and give Mondo his cash.
I was very upset by Tim’s observations on Isaac. I truly loved Isaac’s little talk show and it was like my two favorite uncles were bitch- fighting.
Maryedith, I don’t remember what Kenley did to Tim. You’re probably right. Maybe I am remembering things wrong, but I recall a couple of contestants constantly freaking out about Kenley. Let’s see was it that Kenley didn’t want to listen to Tim? That sounds kind of like her.
I don’t understand why she keeps getting away with making the same stuff over and over. But, I will confess, after hearing about her cat flinging rampage, I dreaded her being on since with her voice and cackling, my nerves can’t take people arguing with her. So, maybe my relief in that regard influences my opinion too much. Also, Flipit says funny stuff about her.
“The indigenous peoples are extremely tribal looking”?!?
Seriously Mila? Bye bitch. I bet that was what made your home made bangs finally quit entertaining Harvey.
@Flipit Thanks for making me LMAO
On your smoke break you missed Chunk saying he wanted to model to have a “feta eye, a hummus lip, and a pita glow.”
@LAC Now I won’t ever be able to hear “5 Dollar Foot Long” without thinking about Real Housewife boobs. And it’s your fault. But I forgive and heart you for knowing who Lillian Gish is.
@lestermaddox Bread and butter pinkilink! That’s exactly what I was yelling at the TV about that decorated toilet paper running down the arm of Hobo’s lame ass Barbie dress.
@Sarahthered I agree with @lindaw205 about agreeing 100% with you.
I was just going through a few comments on another blog, and saw someone posted that Kenley was their waitress at a local Mexican restaurant a few days ago… they said she was very unpleasant; what a surprise!
Does anyone know if the finale show was held at this last fashion week at Lincoln Center? I’m going to have to search around online. They always have decoys showing so we don’t know who the final three are, but my guess would be it’s Mondo, Michael, and (ugh) Kenley. Jerell & Austin are just too weak to go much further. Jerell goes first b/c he’s not good TV; he never says funny little quips, or wears goofy hats.
I can’t wait to see who the guest judge is for the finale… I would pray for Tim Gunn!
*Sigh* I guess I’m watching the rest of the season, despite my protests. Project Runway, you seductive whore, I keep getting pulled back into your evil embrace!
Anytime Tim tried to offer her any advice or criticism, Kenley was extremely rude to him. Her opinion was that he didn’t know what he was talking about at all. She was also rude whenever the judges would say anything negative about her clothes. It wasn’t just defending her choices, she came off like a bratty child.
I don’t know what the difference is, but I actually kind of like her this season. But she is very one note.
I don’t get fashion because if it was better sewn I would love love love Austin’s dress. The colors, cut and all. I would go to the caribbean and rock that frock at dinner.
Kenley is such a snotty nasally brat and I love her for being the only person doing anything with personality this season. I miss Tim
PS I love you and your recaps Flipit and thank you thank you for posting a pic of the villain lady from Rocky and Bullwinkle bc I did not get that reference throughout these recaps until now! And it was driving me crazy!
@Mrs: I totally agree about Austin’s dress! It was “flow-y” and kinda pretty. I can barely remember yesterday so it’s no surprise I can’t remember the dress that I guess got him kicked off his season, but in the picture Flipit posted I think it looks kinda ethereal and beautiful.
OMG I miss Tim, too (and I actually DO recall Kenley being a total asshat to him). Shit I even miss Heidi and Nina, which is saying something. Does anyone know if they’re filming a new season now? Or soon? Or ever?
O.k., clearly my attempts to totally forget the season Kenley was on are 99% successful. Bwahaha
Because I never like it when people are mean to Tim. He’s so nice.
What is wrong with Austin? He should not be struggling as much as Hobosexual.