Project Runway Recap: VonToast and Grapefruit Diet

Recaps

By Flipit | Friday, January 27, 2012 | 12:01 am | 35 Comments
Posted in: Featured, Project Runway, Recaps

Previously on Project Runway All Stars, another pig took Fat Bitch Heidi’s seat,…

Miss Piggy Project Runway All Stars Episode 4

Mondo dressed like a twelve year old Mexican girl who lives in Italy and loves bikes, …

Mondo Bike Hat Project Runway All Stars Episode Four

…and Austin Scarlett O’Scare, even though he lost to Chunk, had a spiritual calm come over him as he realized he could always throw in the towel and start a gay tortilla brand called “Corn! When Did I Eat Corn?!? Tortillas”.

Austin Scarlett Corn Tortillas Project Runway All Stars Episode Four

It’s morning. Chunk is freaking out because he won, and he knows he can’t always be in da top. Hey, don’t fret! They could have Muppets every week. It would be a PROJECT RUNWAY FIIIIRST! Everyone’s super nice to him about his win. It’s either that or beat Anthony Flamíngay up for that outfit, and they’re all going the positive route this season.

Theboys And Kenley Project Runway All Stars Episode Four
John FagEnroe

 

Angela HideMe Lindvall comes out on the runway talking really slowly and looking terrified. Nothing new to see here. Move on.

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OMG you guys I’m freaking out. Seal totally just didn’t break up with me.

I can’t concentrate, cuz Rami is wearing a wife beater. I wish people could live without heads. He’d be the perfect man.

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The challenge is to make something not terrible based on dessert. Windfall for Chunk two weeks in a row! I don’t know how the brownie sundae from Burger King is gonna look coming down the runway, but I can’t wait to see him try!

Chunk Dessert Project Runway All Stars Episode 4
There is a God. And he’s really fat.

Oh wait. It’s not just any dessert, it’s gelato. Frowny face for Chunk! WTF? How can you make a dress that tastes good with so few calories? There’s a reason skinny dresses always look so miserable.

Jerell the Hobosexual is just excited that he’s gonna get free food and doesn’t have to keep changing his outfit a million times to come in the store again and ask for those tiny little sample spoons. April’s confused by the flavor titles and has no idea what the hell Fruits of the Forest means. Scarlett O’Scare sure as hell does. Butt sex. Central Park. The Rambles. I predict he will pick that flavor and send out a stained dress with mud on the knees.

Chunk decides to go all in on the diet theme and choose Grapefruit flavor. The color is pretty dull, but at the very least he’ll get some pats on the back in his next Weight Watchers meeting. Mondo takes cantaloupe, which is the same color as the grapefruit. LOL gelato! Does a Weinstein own this company? Was TCBY busy? Lots of questions to be answered this episode.

Mila picks Milk with Sour Cherries. Shocker. There wasn’t a flavor called “Death to Humanity and Why Am I Seeing Double?” The guest judge is Diane VonFurstenberg! Figures the inventor of the wrap would be judging the diet dessert challenge. HideMe pops VonF out of the toaster and wheels her onto the stage.

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The ding went off an hour ago. Where were you dahlink?

This is going to be the fastest challenge in PROJECT RUNWAY HIIIIIISTORRRRRYYYYY!!! They have six hours. Was this season shot in a week? Mila looks at us and the PA in the back of the room in shock.

Mila Crosseyed Project Runway All Stars Episode Four

Now, I don’t wanna accuse anyone of anything, but Rami is blinking really hard, licking his lips a lot, and constantly adjusting his jaw. Does coke give you giant muscles and a terrible personality? GET ME SOME. For the muscles. I’ve already got the terrible personality part down pat.

Rami-Cokehead

April wonders how she’s gonna put together a badly sewn depressing black dress in six hours. I’m sure you’ll find a way. Ruhroh! There’s no black in the mini-mood that’s been set up. LOL! Even the producers are sick of her depressing ass. Kenley Petty Page is going to make the same thing she’s made in the other three challenges. This isn’t about doing new things, it’s about how much assholish personality you can cram into six hours. GO!

Janky will use a little brown, but it’s not about the chocolate, it’s about the flavor. Which is chocolate. Just stop and think about that for a sec.

000

Still don’t get what the fuck she’s talking about? Me neither. Janky is getting a lot of screen time, which means her ass is probably out tonight. I’m sad. I’m going to miss screen shots like these:

Screen Shot 2012-01-26 At 9.21.17 Pm

Chunk is the only one not worried about time. He’s throwing together a drapey old lady about to fuck nightgown. One prick of the needle and he’s done. Try and get that image out of your head.

Screen Shot 2012-01-26 At 9.23.04 Pm
Toast lover.

Hobosexual compliments Chunk, but behind his back says it’s so easy a chimp could do it. RACIST. He also has a lot to say about April’s “Violet, you’re turning violet Violet!” mess. Hoboxexi, just shut up and make something that can be worn by someone who doesn’t put together their ho uniforms at the Dollar Tree. Hobo’s have a fucking opinion about everything. Granted, it’s usually “DAYUM! Throwin’ coke cans at my face ain’t cool”, but still. Fill out some job applications and stop littering the sidewalk ya miscreants!

Mila is making a HUUUGE effort today by not using any black. Um…there is no black, ya dumbass. Still, she gives a diatribe about how she wants us all to see a softer side of her. Then stop cutting your own bangs.

Janky is talking again. Oh honey. BYEEEEE! Scarlett is pissed that his needle isn’t working and Flamíngay mutters “white woman freakin’ out back dayah!” LOL. Hagatha Coffee comes in to check on progress and pimp that damn gelato again. I am too lazy to research, but whoever owns that brand has had a Weinstein dick in his or her mouth. Mark my words. Or don’t. It’s up to you really.

Hag starts with Janky and moves on without warning the poor girl that she’s got a whole lot of air time tonight so she shouldn’t be just layering crap upon crap. Hag moves on to April and asks what her tricks are. April says that she believes you should always try to come off as twenty years older so people call you youthful looking. Hag, who’s living that advice totally backwards, was talking about the purple dress. She chides April for the wonky hem and the dark purple covering up the light purple. Advice means Hag likes you, I think. She doesn’t waste much time on people she hates. Sorry Janky!

Mondo’s making a waaay orange VonToast rip off dress. Does she want to see the same thing she does over and over again but uglier? Time will tell. Flamíngay is officially obsessed with folding shit. I wonder if he has numbers and adjectives under all those folds to tell people their future. I miss first grade.

Screen Shot 2012-01-26 At 9.47.12 Pm

She has questions prepped for all the designers. This isn’t Miss America. Although I would love to know what kaleidoscopes look like through Mila’s crossed eyes. Does she ever get seizures? There. Something important to ask. You’re welcome.

Hag accuses Rami of sucking up to VonToastenberg by making a wrap dress, and he stutters and snorts stuff confusedly. Hag doesn’t have much interesting to say, so Flamíngay takes over and says Mila’s dress looks like a colah blocked Christmas ornament disaster. You’re hired!

Hag leaves everyone freaking out about time. Janky says it’s hard but you can’t just glue stick shit togaythuh. Cut to Scarlett gluing shit togaythuh. HAHH.

Screen Shot 2012-01-26 At 9.56.13 Pm

The designers take time out of their busy schedules to talk shit. Flamíngay calls Mondo out on making a caftan that Flam made in the eighth grade. I would pay to see the shock on his parent’s faces the first time they caught him jerkin’ it to an International Male catalogue. Mila hates everyone’s work. And children. And rainbows.

Hobosexual is busy gluing bottle caps and peanut shells to a dog collar. You can take the Hobo out of the dumpster, but you can’t make him drink. Or whatever.

Screen Shot 2012-01-26 At 10.01.34 Pm

GLAD accessories wall. Yawn. Someone needs to have a nervous breakdown soon. Come oooon! Why do they even make those tiny little tupperwares? No one ever uses them. Hair and makeup time. THANK GOD. SMOKE BREAK!!!

Janky has a furrowed brow because she doesn’t believe in botox. Also, her proportions are “a bit off.” A bit? Hobo calls her look “pregnant cupcake.” HAHA. Alright. I have a couple quarters.

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HideMe is shocked and awed to be here tonight.

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She says FIRST TIME IN PROJECT RUNWAY HIIIISTORRRRYYY!!! five times and then intros the judges. VonToast looks like Kors after getting hit with one of those head shrinking curses.

Screen Shot 2012-01-26 At 10.19.40 Pm

Some supermodel is here. She looks like Georgina.

Screen Shot 2012-01-26 At 10.21.16 Pm
Derrrrrrr

I worry for her safety. Don’t suffocate, Georgie #2!

Screen Shot 2012-01-26 At 10.22.15 Pm
CAUTION

Mondo is first, and for a second I think FatBitch is back.

Screen Shot 2012-01-26 At 10.24.11 Pm

His cantaloupe robe is the same as it was six hours ago. Diane would totes wear this. So would a table.

Mondo Gelato Project Runway All Stars Episode 4

Remember back in the day when just the sight of an ankle would give men boners? EyeSack does.

Screen Shot 2012-01-26 At 10.26.20 Pm
PERV

Flamíngay’s Green Tea dress looks like a Kleenex used and folded and used again. Fucking tree huggers. The world’s not gonna end if you get a fresh kleenex.

Screen Shot 2012-01-26 At 10.27.16 Pm

VonToast looks super excited by it.

Screen Shot 2012-01-26 At 10.29.08 Pm

He knows from his last time on the show that Toast winks at people she likes. She doesn’t wink at him. Sadness. Well, she can’t bitch about your color, cuz she’s wearing it. PettyPage is up next with another Lose-y and Ethel dress.

Screen Shot 2012-01-26 At 10.30.30 Pm

Rami. Wow. I’m almost proud of him for making something so hideous. There are four kinds of green here, and every one of them is fug.

Screen Shot 2012-01-26 At 10.31.21 Pm

Mila’s flavor of ice cream was Cancer Cell. Well done!

Screen Shot 2012-01-26 At 10.33.07 Pm

Hobosexi made a hippie dominatrix dress. Hideous. He’ll be safe again. It bugs me, but also makes me happy to know he’ll have a bed for another night and I won’t trip over his ass on my way to get coffee in the morning.

Screen Shot 2012-01-26 At 10.34.05 Pm

Janky’s cupcake pregnancy is next. It makes VonToast pick her nose. That can’t be a good sign.

Screen Shot 2012-01-26 At 10.36.57 Pm

Chunk’s old lady about to fuck robe is next. It’s as frightening as it should be. It’s also in the color that Gordana Sexykneehausen used last week, which worries me.

Screen Shot 2012-01-26 At 10.37.59 Pm

April’s blueberry dress is one of her cuter creations, which isn’t saying much. I could do without the violent about to stab someone boobs, but that’s April for ya.

Screen Shot 2012-01-26 At 10.39.42 Pm
Violet you’re turning violent Violet.

The ass is about four inches higher than the front. HAHAHAH. Scarlett O’Scare created a trailer trash bridesmaid for Madagascar. It’s not very African looking, but then I remember malaria. This dress could cover beds and save hundreds of lives.

Screen Shot 2012-01-26 At 10.40.56 Pm

Scarlett, Rami, Hobo, and PettyPage are safe! Rami is safe? HOW? That dress was so many different flavors of wrong the judges probably just got confused. The judges start with Janky. They call it passionless and pregnant but like her acting.

Screen Shot 2012-01-26 At 10.44.32 Pm
Flames! On the side of my face!

EyeSack likes Flamíngay’s dress only when he hears that it’s supposed to look like it’s melting. HAHAH. The judges love Mila’s cancer cell dress. VonToast thinks it’s sloppy. Chunk’s dress is perty and VonToast says to call her. The color isn’t very popular, though. April’s dress is too messy and the ass is a fright, but it’s not a total disaster. Oh wait VonToast called it “a Haloween zpider thing.” Never mind! Mondo is universally loved. The judges even restrain themselves from laughing at his short shorts.

Screen Shot 2012-01-26 At 10.51.52 Pm

In alone time, the judges repeat themselves a bunch. There’s not a clear winner here. The judges are bored. VonToast picks her nose more. Derrr doesn’t wanna wear Chunk’s cuz she’s breastfeeding. Now I’m pissed. Fucking skinny ass people with natural born babies? Not. Right. And it should be considered child abuse. No baby should be raised on breast milk that’s main ingredient is crystal light and dexatrim.

Chunk wins again!! You give the guy a pig or ice cream and he’s golden. Janky and April are in the bottom. And….Janky’s OUT! WAIT! No she’s not she’s safe! Those damn editors tricked me again. So glad she stayed. She’s the most theatrical.

Screen Shot 2012-01-26 At 11.00.46 Pm
You lied to me. You lied to me! You held the Koran and you swore to me that nothing was going happen. You were planning this all the time. You lied to me! – Not Without My Daughter

She runs to the back and acts like she was just handed the grand prize. Mila goes “Oh my gawd.” HAHAHAH. Poor April cries and stuff. It’s sad. She’s 22?!?! Lighten up, hon! Go fuck a stranger and drink stuff! And for chrissakes dye your hair.

Was that right? Did you agree with the decision? I don’t know. What I do know is that next week Scarlett shows up in a hat made for the leather daddy service at black church.

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I’m in!

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Flipit
About

Currently, Flipit's writing Real Housewives of Beverly Hills recaps, which you can find here. You can also find him doing a gossip segment twice a week called BS of the Day and video recaps of Project Runway All Stars, as well as spoof ReDubs of the coming soon trailers at the end of RHOBH!

Ronnie Karam has been with TVgasm since 2006 , which has given him the opportunity to make fun of hundreds of TV's most loved and hated reality whores. His plan in life was to be Julia Roberts but that plan was stolen by, well, Julia Roberts. He'll get you one day, JULIA ROBERTS!! When not making himself giggle for the gasm, Ronnie performs improv and sketch comedy at IO West in Hollywood a couple of times weekly while using the lovely California days to audition for commercial roles such as "ADORABLE MEXICAN UNCLE". Seriously. He would like to thank Jesus, Buddha and Xenu for the blessings they've bestowed. The writers here are the best around, and he's honored to be associated with them. Find video archives at CankleTV.com, or follow on Twitter @flipit

35 Comments

  1. 1
    Laura Gill
    Posted January 27, 2012 at 12:16 am

    I swear, Michael came at least twice in his pants.

  2. 2
    Scott
    Posted January 27, 2012 at 1:39 am

    I want someone to hog tie Scarlett and shave that sickly caterpillar off of his upper lip…. or better yet, wax it !

  3. 3
    Val Silveira
    Posted January 27, 2012 at 7:39 am

    @Scott, nah, just unglue it! ;)

  4. 4
    kczar
    Posted January 27, 2012 at 7:41 am

    I’m shocked Rami wasn’t in the bottom. I don’t think he left one hideous shade of green behind in Mini Mood. Just awful.

    So far, I’ve been pretty underwhelmed by these “All Stars”. And I miss Grampa Tim!

  5. 5
    Indigo
    Posted January 27, 2012 at 8:16 am

    Love kara being overdramatic, love the way rami looks in so little clothing, love that my girls Mila and Mondo were in the top tonight

    hate every dress on that runway, that austrailian model, Michael C’s playing to the cameras and his win.

    overall a mixed episode with a boring challenge

  6. 6
    lestermaddox
    Posted January 27, 2012 at 8:21 am

    In Season 1 the designers had to make a swimsuit and then take their models to a party wearing the suits. They had 5 hours in which to to them. Not sure, cuz I’m from the Mid-west and we do time differently out here than in The Big City, but pretty sure that 5 hours is less than 6 hours, so not really the shortest time challenge in PROJECT RUNWAY HISTORRRRY.

    I didn’t really care for any of the dresses. Hated Mila’s, it looked the the model took chunks of fabric, tossed them over her shoulder in random lengths and held it all together with an ugly belt. And can Scarlet do anything beside drape wads of fabric? All of his crap looks the same.

    I actually think Mondo and Michael had the only actual wearable dresses, though both of them looked like ‘rich lady on a cruise’ wear.

  7. 7
    sweetroisindubh
    Posted January 27, 2012 at 9:28 am

    What makes me happy is knowing that, somewhere, Gretchen and Ivy are sh*tting their pants after Micheal’s back-to-back wins.

    That alone makes everything right with the world.

  8. 8
    Fan-Ann
    Posted January 27, 2012 at 9:49 am

    @sweetroisindudh, your comment made me howl. So right! Take that Wretchen and Ivy! Also, Wretch’s horrible, tired looking collection sank without a trace, and Michael seems to have landed in his perfect spot in Palm Springs. Has Nina ever made true on her promise to wear Wretchen’s granny pants outfit? I want proof!

  9. 9
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted January 27, 2012 at 10:35 am

    Don’t knock “those tiny little tupperwares.” I use the super small ones as a pill container in my purse and for earrings and what-not when I have to travel. The next size up, the “midgets,” are for condiments if I’m forced to pack a lunch. And the next size up from there hold things like baking soda for the bathroom for when I brush my teeth. (Too personal?)

    I love Tupperware. I still have pieces I bought when I was ten years old and already plotting on how soon I could move out of my parents’ house. Stuff lasts forever.

    I laughed at the contestants who whined they only had six hours…like the contestants who finished their garments somehow had more time.

    How did Janky stay? Her layers were all uneven and unfinished, with shredded threads hanging off. Not that April’s was much better…but at least the colors were pretty.

  10. 10
    sweetroisindubh
    Posted January 27, 2012 at 11:06 am

    @Fan-Ann Perhaps Nina DID wear Gretchen’s collection and, as a result, was deemed “not qualified to judge fashion,” and thus not a part of this season.

  11. 11
    Val
    Posted January 27, 2012 at 11:06 am

    Everything is coming back to me in slow motions..din’t Scarlet and Santino have a “show” together?! Where’s Santino? (Where’s Andre?!)?They couldn’t let him and Hobo out of the alley at the same time?
    @cattifan, lmao @midgets tupperware!

  12. 12
    Flipit
    Posted January 27, 2012 at 11:09 am

    great answer, sweetroisindubh.

  13. 13
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted January 27, 2012 at 11:14 am

    Val…they’re really called midgets. Although I understand they prefer “little containers.”

    By the way, I learned today there’s a company called “Rent A Midget.” the world becomes more bizarre everyday…

  14. 14
    2muchbravo
    Posted January 27, 2012 at 11:38 am

    I wasn’t really impressed with any of them. Can’t believe Eye Sack liked Mila’s. Ewwww. I really couldn’t see Miranda wearing either of those old lady gowns to an event.
    Could have used an extra 10 minutes of Rami’s shoulders though. ;-)

  15. 15
    2muchbravo
    Posted January 27, 2012 at 11:42 am

    “Corn! When did I eat corn!”

    I couldn’t believe April’s only 22! Damn girl lighten up!

  16. 16
    salvadorealexio
    Posted January 27, 2012 at 12:35 pm

    what about the caftan, do “fashionable” people really wear those? I was never so astonished as when they liked that thing and I think eyesack said it “showed her figure” or some such nonsense.

    I miss Miss Scarlett’s former lovely ladylike ways, she was even wearing a wife beater in the workroom, what a let down!

  17. 17
    S-Natch S-Natch
    Posted January 27, 2012 at 12:55 pm

    Agree with most everyone that all of the dresses were rather blah. I liked Homeless’s the most. HATED Chunk’s – I thought it looked like someone tried to make a cloth pinata. I always liked him as a person, and was DEF pulling for him to defeat the evil forces of Wretchen and Ivy, but never saw why the judges liked his clothes so much.

    @Cattyfan – I bow to your Tupperware superiority – LOL! :)

  18. 18
    sweetroisindubh
    Posted January 27, 2012 at 1:52 pm

    @Flipit Thanks! I watch the show looking forward to whatever you have to say about it the next day. It makes me feel not so alone in my sarcasm and snark-filled universe. :)

  19. 19
    dallashockeymom
    Posted January 27, 2012 at 2:02 pm

    Love me some “Clue” movie references! Flames…Flames. That movie is a classic that just keeps giving. “Plant? I thought they called your kind a fruit”, “I’m going home to sleep with my wife”, “1+1+2+1+1″ etc.

  20. 20
    LaPetiteChanteuse
    Posted January 27, 2012 at 2:31 pm

    Miranda Kerr is married to Orlando Bloom and is always being featured in magazines for her red carpet looks. That’s the only reason I know who she is.

    This episode was horribly boring. Mondo made the only good look. His was bold, true to the challenge, and still aesthetically pleasing.

    Mila: “I think she looks chic, gorgeous, easy breezy” ARE YOU KIDDING? Does she really think she designs for Covergirls?
    Kara had an easy challenge. All you need to do is choose a rich, dark brown satin and do a 1930s, sexy, simple gown. Maybe throw in some deep red/burgundy in the lining.
    Chunk’s dress was hideous. If a cat got caught up in pink curtains, it would look like his model did drowning in that mess.

  21. 21
    Pegster
    Posted January 27, 2012 at 3:07 pm

    How the hell di Chunk win for making some Blanch Devereaux loungwear?

    The worst part of this weeks episode was no more Rob Lowe as Drew Peterson teasers. “I’M UNTOUCHABLE, BITCH.”

  22. 22
    kthxbai
    Posted January 27, 2012 at 6:34 pm

    This show’s jumped so many sharks I bet they get a letter from the PETA ocean division.

    And now it’s just turned into cloth abuse.

    I’m glad Mila told us she was tasteful. Because I sure never would’ve suspected her of it.

    @sweetroisindudh I had that same thought! About Wretchen and the rest of them that were bullying Chunk just because they went to design school and were pissed off to find out lo que natura non da, Salamanca non presta (if nature didn’t give it to you ain’t no school going to let you hold it like a case quarter)

    Oh well, at least we got to see Von Toast digging for classic wrap boogers.

  23. 23
    emily
    Posted January 27, 2012 at 9:13 pm

    Mondo’s and Michael dresses looked like something Mrs. Roeper would where. Mondo’s would be something she would wear day to day while Michael’s looked like something she would wear to try to get Mr. Roeper to screw her of course it would not work.

  24. 24
    maryedith
    Posted January 27, 2012 at 9:32 pm

    Sick of Chunk’s dream-the-impossible-dream face.

  25. 25
    chaosbutterfly
    Posted January 28, 2012 at 8:09 pm

    @maryedith, I hate you so much right now for calling it that.

    Mila’s dress was a sad, droopy, shapeless mess. It looked like one of those peppermints that you find in the bottom of your backpack after cleaning it out for the first time in a year.

    Michael’s was not much better either. That fabric looked like it cost 10 cents at the 99 cent store and the whole thing was held together by like…five stitches. I loved how Hide Me asked Miranda Kerr where she would wear it to and she dodged that shit with a chipper “Well, there are soo many places to wear it to, it’s perfect for anywheree”. She knows full well she will never wear it anywhere on Earth, unless she’s going to orgy night at one of those old folk communities where everyone is nasty and likes to get wild.

    Kara’s dress was a hot mess, and her model needed to stop by the gelato cart on the way to the runway. She’s too skinny.

    Diane von Furstenberg needs to never play poker.

  26. 26
    LivesToSnark
    Posted January 28, 2012 at 8:58 pm

    I can’t decide if HideMe’s perpetually surprised expression is more a display of “white girl wants to be chola circa early-80′s” – OR – an homage to Jean Harlow (if so, HideMe really needs to seek help for her addition to flat irons). And while Janky is definitely a leading contender for Most Histrionic, I would argue that Chunk’s giving her a run for her money – it’s just a different flavor of drama. Janky is desperately emulating the anxiety-ridden, plagued by self-doubt but incredibly passionate [rolls eyes] artiste, whereas Chunk is going for the puppy-pees-with-excitement-every-10-minutes joie de vivre (look it up, Chunk). Janky’s pathetic speech to the judges prior to leaving the runway after being saved while poor April simply endured until she could get the obligatory kiss-off? Priceless. And Chunk’s “OMG-OMG-OMG – I have to change my pants” response to DVF’s appearance speaks for itself. Gawd, I luv ‘em both.

  27. 27
    itchy
    Posted January 29, 2012 at 1:31 am

    Whenever I hear Hideme’s voiceovers, I’m convinced she’s a drag queen. And then I look at her and can’t find the Adam’s apple. What gives?

    I find the Janky woman disturbing to look at not. Not in the way Scarlett or Mondo make me throw my hands up in the air and despair for humanity. More in a freakshow, looking-at-Mickey Rourke way.

    What’s the point of a 6-hour challenge?

  28. 28
    Spelling Counts
    Posted January 29, 2012 at 9:47 am

    Miranda Kerr was one of Daniel V’s models in the Season 2 finale….

    http://www.fightingoverme.com/gallery/showphoto.php?photo=7469

  29. 29
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted January 29, 2012 at 5:04 pm

    Lord, itchy…what the Hell happened to Michey Rourke? I remember a time when he was nearly hot. Now he looks like he’s more melted than the gelato ever will be…but lumpy. Like chunky melted gelato.

    Ew.

  30. 30
    Jazzy
    Posted January 30, 2012 at 7:17 am

    I finally got around to watching this episode. I shoulda just read the recap and saved myself the time. I CAN’T BELIEVE they kicked April off. Yes, her dress was a mess but at least it had potential! Mila’s, Rami’s and Hobo’s were hideous IMO. And Chunk’s and Mondo’s were totally 70s wear, which is prob why Diane Von Whatshername liked them. But I can’t see that cute model wearing either one. I kind of liked the green tea dress.
    I can’t stand Janky. Her lack of confidence just annoys me. Kenley designs weird ass clothes, but she loves herself and everything she makes so you gotta kinda love that.
    I hope Mondo wins. He should have won his season, which everyone who watched it knows.

  31. 31
    LAC LAC
    Posted January 30, 2012 at 8:37 am

    Flipit, me darlin’! Great recap! The show? Meh – it is turning into a hour of time I want back. I cannot believe that Janky is still on the show – that hideous “Guess who’s the father?” dress was a goner, in my book. All the dresses were rather hideous, but I guess if all you have is 6 hours, that will do it.

    On the grating scale: Mondo’s continuing need to wear oversized wife beaters: 1 ; Janky’s community theater performance in “The Passion of the Janky”: 2 ; Chunky’s silent movie style of reacting to everything on the show: 3; Kenley’s voice: 10!

    Kudos to whoever brought up the Wretchen karma. Those minions in her underground liar must be tiptoeing around.

  32. 32
    NotWithoutMyTV notwithoutmytv
    Posted January 30, 2012 at 9:25 am

    @LAC, you can’t say Chunk’s silent movie reactions (which is a perfect description, btw) are any worse than Austin ScarWaffles. They’re both just one instance of jets of steam coming out their ears and their eyes boinging in and out on the end of springs away from being living cartoons. They really do think every pair of eyes in America is on them every second of the day.

  33. 33
    NotWithoutMyTV notwithoutmytv
    Posted January 30, 2012 at 9:31 am

    @Jazzy: You may hope Mondo wins. I just hope somebody grabs him off the street, stuffs him into a van and forces him, at taser-point if need be, into a clothing intervention. Hell, he’d even look better if he just went transvestite. Just throw on an empire-waisted dress and be done with it, Pinnochio…

  34. 34
    LAC LAC
    Posted January 30, 2012 at 9:40 am

    Notwithoutmytv – LOL!! You are so correct. Austin’s dramatic facial expressions could put Valentino to shame. When does that Mizarhi (sp) verbal slap down happen with him?

  35. 35
    Jazzy
    Posted January 30, 2012 at 9:46 am

    @NWMT – here’s to hoping we both get our wishes!

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