Project Run-wah-wah-wahhhh (Pt 2)

Project Runway

By sg-dub | Saturday, December 10, 2005 | 1:20 pm | 57 Comments

12-7-05z.jpgNow that Project Runway had dispensed with the selection process in, “The Road to the Runway,” (the first hour of the premiere), it was time to get cracking on the first real challenge. Typically, the designers have a very, very short window of time to conceptualize, design, create and fit their outfits. For some, the stress of this time limitation is the spark they need to “just do it,” for others, it destroys them. Of course, for us, the time constraints and resultant meltdowns translate into fascinating television – and perhaps better TVgasm recaps.

Throw in some scantily clad models, Heidi Klum, Heidi Klum’s “bump,” and an intriguing mix of personalities vying for the $100K, car, and Banana Republic contract – and you have the makings for another great season of the show.Unfortunately, it appears that they have changed one of the cooler twists from the original season. Regarding the models, there is a great ancillary contest happening along with the designer one the show focuses on. The models are fighting for a lucrative gig with Elle magazine and each week, the remaining designers get to pick their model. Since there is one less designer each week, one model is also eliminated – they are judged by the contestants on their shape, walk, attitude, and punctuality. One model last season, the fabulous Morganza, allowed her drug problem get in the way of her opportunity – and her televised crash and burn could have filled part of A&E’s “Intervention.” (A wicked disturbing show, by the way.)

I always dug that little side contest – and it also insured the models would simply be models and not try to be reality TV breakout stars. Just as last season, the 16 models walked out for the pajama party with Heidi in their little black slips and the designers chose who they wanted for the next (as yet) unknown challenge. The models this year seem to be true runway models and none of them really get me excited. You can check them all out on the Bravo website. This picture of Tarah’s ever-so-slight cameltoe will get you there easily enough.

Santino got to pick first (he chose Heather, for what it’s worth) and then everyone else was randomly chosen to pick. Raymundo was last to pick and he chose my early fave, Maria. The two leftovers were given the customary cold auf Wiedersehen’s and then Heidi broke the bad news. This year, the model chosen initially by the designer were stuck with each other all season. Weak… I have no idea why they changed this rule, but who knows… maybe it’ll become clear later. Speaking of “models” and “later,” Raymundo learned that his model, Maria, quit the show right before she was to show up and be fitted. Was being picked last so monumentally crushing to her that she couldn’t take it anymore? Nah… Since I dug her from the get-go, I’m going to assume she got a better gig than “Project Runway.” Right? Maria, email me and let me know. I’m here for you.

12-7-05n.jpgThe designers then retreated to their living quarters for the first time – the Atlas Apartments. Nice. Roommates were already assigned and instead of fixating on superfluous inanities like ridiculous pools in the living room or cumbersome phones, this show focused on the designers getting to know each other. Turns out that Nick’s dad is a Greek diplomat. Santino is fixated on those airbrushed fantasy/unicorn/stardust tee shirts you find at county fairs and on the backs of Wal-Mart patrons – especially the ones that eat the hot food there. And the black girl is a bitch.

Sigh. Yet again, another young black woman on yet another reality-ish show is yet again a bitch. Or, worse, is being edited as the bitch. Zulema, whom I liken to ANTM’s Miss Jay (and that’s a dude, by the way), squawked such gems as, “I don’t believe in fairness,” while she bogarted far more than her share of closet space. The good part about this is that I don’t have to “believe in fairness” while recapping the show – I can bust on her to my heart’s content and not feel badly about it in the least. Bitch.

Daniel Franco bonded with Raymundo over Daniel’s Rasputin t-shirt. “Who’s that?”
“Rasputin,” replied Daniel, “He was like the Merlin of Russia.”
“Really? Marilyn Monroe? I love her!”

Verdict: Raymundo the gay Mexican son of the disapproving father – not smart. Which isn’t necessarily a hindrance if the boy knows how to design. That would come later; first, everyone had to get dressed for a party. They were told to wear an outfit that expressed who they were and that Tim Gunn would be there to outline the next challenge. Tiny little Chloe Dao (seriously, the girl can’t be over 4’10″) rocked a little jersey dress while her Asian sista, tiny little Diana Eng, wore her prom dress. Hmmm, seems kind of a strange choice but she explained, “I read science magazines, never fashion ones.” I respect that, I really do, and boy am I pulling for my little Engster… but something tells me that ignoring the fashion industry will not serve her well in a contest all about the fashion industry. If she fails on the show, I’m sure there’s plenty of rap stars who would love to have Hi-Def flat screens sewn into their shirts or NBA players who would enjoy little monitors on their sneakers.

At the party, Tim gathered everyone together and asked – hey, wait a minute. A reality show scene with free booze and no one was falling down drunk or acting particularly retarded in any way? Gimme a second so I can recover…

Sorry. At the party Tim asked the designers, “How far will you go for fashion?” Nods and sheepish smiles all around. “For the next challenge, you will use the clothes off your back to fabricate your design.” Of course, Tim said it with such perfect enunciation and ease that everyone took a second to soak it all in. Tim is transfixing – he could tell you, “You suck in every way; you are a hideous creature, you reek, and your lack of any discernable skills will render you impotent and destitute throughout your pathetic life,” and you wouldn’t be pissed. Such are the mellifluous tones and words of my good man, Tim Gunn. Bang-bang. (Andrae even attempted a Tim Gunn impression but gave him a British accent even though he has none.)

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Zulema as Eddie Murphy as Flip Wilson as Geraldine

Totally interesting challenge. Little Chloe only had that little blue jersey dress whereas some of the guys had layers of shirts and jackets and stuff. Santino was a bit bummed about having to destroy his “favorite” leather coat. Dude, it looked like the covering of my grandmom’s ottoman – after resting her corn-and-bunion-covered feet on it for the last 45 years. Kirsten was even more upset – she was wearing some ugly silk scarf of her deceased grandmother’s – chopping that up would prove nearly impossible, she said.

The designers were only given 9 hours to chop up and reconstruct their clothes into a runway-ready outfit. Jesus. I’ve dated some women who take 9 hours to decide what to wear for a night out. And these people have to deconstruct jeans and jackets, design, and reconstruct a dress in what amounted to a normal workday. It was all about invention and innovation.

In the workspace at Parsons, each designer approached the task in a different way. Emmett simply stared and thought for 2 hours straight. Zulema immediately started cutting away at her gold fabric with no plan. Kirsten was still waffling about using her stupid little scarf – a “Napoleon scarf,” whatever that means. Santino got over his reservations and cut his coat to pieces. Everyone worked fast and furiously and some found time to goof on their competition. Regarding Kirsten’s rather lame shreddeed t-shirt and skirt, Andrae and Raymundo expressed mock concern.

Weirdo Guadalupe also flitted about, picking everyone’s brain and offering her advice. I don’t know what it is yet, but Lupe freaks me out. She reminds me of, like, when you’re on one of those cheesy “haunted house” rides and your little car goes through a black curtain in the dark and an animatronic scary little gnome pops out of nowhere and you kinda laugh off your surprise and fear. Yeah, that’ creepy little gnome? That’s Lupe. And what are the chances someone named Lupe would be, well, loopy?

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Tim showed up to offer his sincere advice. He, too, had some reservations about Kirsten’s weak design but she forged ahead. Andrae explained his concept – reconstructing his jeans and jean jacket into a “chipow” (or whatever) – some sort of traditional Chinese dress. Hey, Eng, does this guy have any clue what he’s talking about? Beside the material in the dress itself, Andrae explained how that outfit was “part of him,” and rambled on about something to do with his failed boutique and life’s crossroads and things like that. What are you gonna do about it, cry?

[Of note: I just read Tim's Take on the show's website and he had this to say, "Andrae attended the party dressed in vintage denim: a 60's jacket and 70's jeans. Using a quilting method, he transformed them into a qipao, a traditional Chinese dress (which I know by another name, Cheongsam)." So we now just learned some new stuff, but can we adopt the Cheongsam as TVgasm's official dress? I mean, it's get Chen, it's got gasm, what more can we ask for?]

The deadline came and Tim showed up and wielded his heavy brand of justice. “Do not touch anything!” Daniel Franco begged a bit to continue because he had perhaps bitten off more than he could chew with all his tailoring. Everyone would have a little time the next day before the runway show, but the vast majority of them were really cutting it close. I guess you could say, ahem, they were, “Cutting it close the hem.” Errr, or bias. Or seam? Shit, I really should layoff the sewing humor – it’s a narrow field.

The next day everyone reconvened at Parsons and Tim arrived looking even more dashing and dapper than usual. Looking smart in his suit and tie, Tim explained that they had 2 hours to finish up, fit their models, get them made up, and be prepared for the runway. And Tim wasn’t dicking around – his suit and mien told me so. Then again, Tim never dicks around. I’ll say it again: Tim Gunn, bang-bang.

The fitting sessions are great – booty, boobies, flat stomachs, all that good stuff on full view. Perhaps a bit too much as Zulema’s sweater dress thing would have been great for the next Girls Gone Wild video, but not “Project Runway.” Her model’s ass was nearly fully exposed to the world and unfortunately, her model was a bit pasty and apparently enjoys pastries with her pastiness. Damn, girl, time to do some squats… sheesh. Before you yell at me, keep in mind she gets PAID to look good and nothing else. So if she doesn’t have her shit together, I can point out what EVERYONE was thinking upon seeing her jiggly white ass, “Mmmmm, I could really go for some KFC mashed potatoes right about now.”

12-7-05s.jpgAs the final minutes ticked down, I learned that sometimes models get their faces literally sprayed with makeup. I’ve seen less foundation laid down for houses! *Rimshot* Tim was pacing around those who apparently weren’t going to make it: Daniel Franco and Andrae. Both had ambitious designs and now it was hurting them. Daniel finished up and did a pretty damn good job to my uncouth eye. Andrae, however, was freaking out. Nothing like a reactionary emotional dude like Andrae, with sweat dripping from his brow, trying to beat the deadline while big bad Tim Gunn stoically stood there in a Jack Benny stance carefully questioning the logic of the design. Andrae almost, but not quite, was about to cry. Oh Andrae, let it out!

Andrae got a little help finishing from Emmett – who is so serious he makes Tim look like Carrot Top – and it was time to hit the runway. Same judges, except this week the were joined by the “Legendary” Nina Von Furstenberg, whom, I do believe, first created the wrap dress. (Take THAT all you “rit” dye and “bandeau” people!) And so, the judging began.

Andrae’s model worked the runway and the dress held together. She did some unfortunate Magical Mister Mistoffelees impression at the end of her walk, but Andrae seemed to have directed her to do that. Everyone more or less did a decent job – Chloe’s revamped dress immediately jumped out at me as did Nick’s reworked minimalist outfit. Christ, I can’t imagine turning a jacket into a skirt – and a good-looking one at that. Then Miss Badunkadunk sauntered out in Zulema’s crappy little minidress. Zulema had mentioned that she’s seen hootchies in her ‘hood wear shorter dresses on the street. Um, yeah, Zulema honey, they are called “PROSTITUTES” and they are selling their nasty asses for what’s called, “MONEY.” Either that or she lives on the lot where all rap videos are filmed.

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Ass-tastic!

After some deliberation, 6 designers (3 highest scores and 3 lowest, but not mentioned who was who) were asked to stay on the runway: Santino, Zulema, Daniel Franco, Kirsten, Andrae, and Chloe. Yay, Diana Engigmatic will continue on! Shazbot! The judges once again loved Santino’s work which he’s beginning to expect each week. Regarding Zulema’s ass dress, she defended it saying, “It is what it is.” I HATE THAT. People are using it as some sort of reasoning/excuse these days and IT IS NOT.

Anyway, the judges liked Daniel’s design this week, but my man needs to chill. I’ve seen heroin addicts jonesing for a fix hold it together better than Daniel Franco. Kirsten got blasted for not using her stupid scarf and everyone loved Chloe’s cute little dress as well. Heidi even said, “If I didn’t have this bump, I’d wear it right now.” Oh sweet, sweet Heidi, you’d look great in it even with your belly. God, by the end of this show she might make me into one of those guys who digs pregnancy porn. At least I know where to get it, right EdHill?

I couldn’t really get too deep into pregnant porn thought as before I knew it, Andrae’s lip was quivering like a leaf. Yes! A meltdown! Through his tears and simpers, he tried to explain how the task was about transformation and he’s transforming – yeah, transforming into a 3-year-old girl. This display left the judges confused prompting hard ass Nina to ask, “Are those happy or sad tears?” They all regarded his breakdown as a weakness and Kors even said, “I fear for you.” As if that weren’t harsh enough, there was Santino and his model laughing at Andrae. Which is exactly what I would have been doing – so even though he looks like he just finished a LSD laden motorcycle trip through South America and he’s a bit of a cocky dick, I still like him.

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Santino laughs with his model while Andrae changes his tampon

The judges convened to decide the best and the worst. Nina said that Santino was “spectacular and in control,” but they all also gave Daniel and especially Chloe props. After calling the designers back up, Zulema was chastised but given a pass, Daniel was lauded but dismissed and the winner is… Chloe! Santino was bummed and said, “They just didn’t want to give me two in a row.” He was laughing when he said this, so the editing was a bit shady, but I’ll accept that. If he’s really like that, I can’t wait for Diana Eng to design a dress that shoots laser guided poison darts at his testicles. She can do it, y’know – and would too.

So it was down to Kirsten and Andrae the crybaby. Even though his was a blithering, unprofessional whiner, Heidi looked him up and down and declared in her sweet draconian way, “Andrae. You are EEN!” At that, he did a full forearm dramatic eye rub and skipped off into the backstage area. I would think my TVgasm brothers (J-Unit and B-Side) would track him down so he can never wear his, “I’m so LA” shirt again, lest we think all men in LA are such simps.

So yes, boring Kirsten was booted for her lame cut up tee shirt and skirt. I have no true affinity for anyone other than Diana Eng and Heidi so I didn’t really care, but I really thought Zulema should have been given the boot for her booty dress.

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Kirsten’s losing dress (left) and tiny winner Chloe with her winner (she likes asses too!)

What say you?

About

57 Comments

  1. 1
    ceenee
    Posted December 10, 2005 at 3:40 pm

    That’s DIANE von Furstenberg, my friend

    But you’re right, she did design the wrap dress of the ’70′s…:)

  2. 2
    Jon
    Posted December 10, 2005 at 4:38 pm

    I think in regards to the secondary contest between the models they got rid of the choosing of a model with each challenge because the designers kept picking the same ones after a while.

    Plus, how the winning model is chosen does not really make it a “contest” between them but rather a game of chance. Julia, last season’s winner, did not win because of her looks, abilities, or her being “fierce”. She won because Jay won.

  3. 3
    holyterror
    Posted December 10, 2005 at 4:40 pm

    ‘Dub: The Tarah camel toe was lame — have you read the theory that Stonehenge was a great big khunt? I shit thee not. Look at the photos from space — way better than Tarah.

    Glad Rasputin bubbled to the surface. Check out the Boney M song about him, and also the exhibit of his enbalmed dick (At the Heritage Museum, I think), which seems to have been the size of a small child’s arm. Napoleon’s was on view as well, but somewhat … LESS NOTABLE.

    There’s a spread in the current Vanity Fair (with Kate “no nose cartiledge” Moss on the cover) about the fatuousness of “It what it is,” featuring Donald Rumsfeld.

    If Andrae had told me to shut up and sew, as he did to Emmet (IT’S A FAVOR), I’d have shoved that needle so far up his ass he’d be smelling it for a year.

    Let’s track Andrae’s mysterious Madonna/Faux English accent.

    I think that women in general wear less, and so had less to work with, (I myself went out last night in two postage stamps, some string, and a Kleenex) which makes the winner’s creation all the more amazing, and Andrae all the more a pathetic tool.

  4. 4
    Aries
    Posted December 10, 2005 at 5:53 pm

    I thought Zulema’s dress was hideous and think the only reason she was’t given the boot was that the judges were pissed that Kirsten didn’t use the scarf in her outfit. As Nina pointed out, the scarf didn’t necessarily have to be cut up, but it should have been used. I think the judges also wanted to punish Andrae for behaving so unprofessionally and that’s why they put him in the bottom two with Kirsten. But I really think Zulema’s dress was by far the worst and it should have gotten her kicked off.

  5. 5
    The Svan
    Posted December 10, 2005 at 6:10 pm

    Brilliant recap. The Svan appreciates the speed with which it came and the humor.

  6. 6
    holyterror
    Posted December 10, 2005 at 6:40 pm

    Aries: (I’m the same sign) you have to build without a model and with what little you’ve been given; and as I’ve said, women dress in much less than men, and start with much less material and hence fewer possibilities.

    I think she did a good job, though I’d have spent a great deal more time on the top, to free up more material and avoid the butt-skirting shortness that is a hazard of the trade — sometimes you run out of fabric. It’s a hot dress. PASS.

    I don’t mind unintentional butt-cheeks, in a dress made only of a sweater.

  7. 7
    rhm
    Posted December 10, 2005 at 6:57 pm

    Regarding the flabby model ass in the sweater dress: my guess is that most models get by on their youth (and hence higher metabolism) and a steady diet of cigarettes and wine (and coke), and not so much the exercising. the diet also helps with the sicky, affected look most of them have.

  8. 8
    workingfashiondesigner
    Posted December 10, 2005 at 7:01 pm

    I believe Kristen was kicked off because she dug her grave deeper than andrae or Zulema. She admitted that even she wouldn’t wear the outfit she created to represent herself. Plus, she got all spacey and dreamy while saying she would have used any other scarf (“except the napolean, which is truly spectacular”) which completly annoying. Nina was right: she didn’t have to cut the scarf- just use some creatvity! She’s a lawyer for christsakes, what, she couldn’t find a loophole?

  9. 9
    holyterror
    Posted December 10, 2005 at 7:57 pm

    Workingfashiondesigner: I’d never have cut my vintage leather jacket, with the Blondie/Ramones/Xray-Spex tickets still in the pockets, and the autographs from The Cramps (Including Bryan Gregory), straight on my tits.

    I identify with the victims of Katrina who would not leave their homes.

    Some things are just yours and part of your life.

    You just don’t cut some things apart.

  10. 10
    Austin Harlot
    Posted December 10, 2005 at 8:20 pm

    They should have kicked out Kirsten AND Zulema. Kirsten’s stuff was just plain ugly and non matching, but Zulema by far put in the least effort i think. i mean, what did she do? STRETCH the sweater out? Cut out a neckline? I could have done that.

  11. 11
    workingfashiondesigner
    Posted December 10, 2005 at 8:43 pm

    Holyterror: Again, I am not suggesting that she should have cut her prized possession. Kristin was presented with a challenge and I believe her inability to find a way to work around is what lost that challenge for her. I understand where she is coming from: I have a prized collection of vintage beads and necklaces that I inherited from my grandmother. I wear one everyday. I would never destroy them to make dress straps but I would incorporate them into the outfit (as belt or something at least). This would have been harder had my prized item been a vintage leather jacket but Kristen had a scarf. There are so many ways to style a scarf without destoying it.

    In my opinion, Kristen had the opportunity to strengthen her creativty and keep her family heirloom.

  12. 12
    grifter
    Posted December 10, 2005 at 11:39 pm

    zulema sucks…period. and about the whole women wear less than men and therefore the female designers had less to work with..zulema was also wearing a pair of jeans that she could have used. and, hopefully, she was wearing a bra and panties that might’ve cum in handy. as for kirsten…when the designers make an outfit, the outfit becomes property of bravo and project runway. so the issue wasnt about cutting up the scarf. if she had used it in the outfit then she would not have gotten it back. besides, it was an ugly scarf and would only have made that hideous outfit even worse.

  13. 13
    katieshole
    Posted December 11, 2005 at 4:27 am

    Zulema should of been kicked out. Her dress was very cut up 80′s FlashDance. I think Jennifer Beals wore that during a welding scene….

    Andre is pure reality gold, nothing better than incoherent crying and insensitivity from that bitchy judge Nina and Michael Kors!

    KH

  14. 14
    EdHill
    Posted December 11, 2005 at 5:51 am

    “I myself went out last night in two postage stamps, some string, and a Kleenex.”

    Holyterror, Please continue….

  15. 15
    holyterror
    Posted December 11, 2005 at 7:52 am

    EdHill: I don’t really remember the rest.

    Workingfashiondesigner: You’re right. I defer to your better judgment.

  16. 16
    Lizardqueen
    Posted December 11, 2005 at 7:59 am

    I guess I’m the only one who liked Kirsten’s outfit. Was the problem that she wasn’t willing to go far enough for fashion with the heirloom scarf? Was her creation too much like the original? Please do inform me.
    Zulema’s “dress” was so hideous I can’t believe she even sent it out there. Food was the last thing on my mind when the great white ass jiggled out from under that sweater.

  17. 17
    EdHill
    Posted December 11, 2005 at 8:23 am

    The problem with Kirsten was she didn’t listen to TIm. He told her straight out that the shirt sucked, although he did it in his oh so polite classy Tim way. Saying things like “are you sure about this?” “Be prepared to asnwer questions about it” regarding her porsche shirt. But she didn’t listen.

    You disregard Tim at your peril.

    Santino grew on me when he started laughing at Andrae’s crying. I lost it when he started blabbing about his dress represented “the first three years adn the alst 3 years of my career” or some sort of babble. I’m like DUDE, its just a creative exercise. ITs not symbolic of anyhting.

    How can you not laugh at that?

  18. 18
    Todd Vodka
    Posted December 11, 2005 at 10:30 am

    I found this to be extremely well written. I hope people appreciate that. I have to go now, I think I ruptured something laughing.

  19. 19
    grifter
    Posted December 11, 2005 at 10:43 am

    you’re partially right edhill… it is a creative exercise but clothing is also extremely symbolic and has been since humans started wearing clothes thousands of years ago.

    and the issue w/ kirsten’s was that it was just plain ugly. that shirt looked like a bib at red lobster.

  20. 20
    sg-dub
    Posted December 11, 2005 at 11:55 am

    More about the new TVgasm official dress, the Cheongsam. Who’s with me here?

  21. 21
    Muffyn
    Posted December 11, 2005 at 12:39 pm

    Word, grifter. Kristen’s outfit was “just plain ugly”. The judges told her she had no “taste”. Let’s consider that code for it’s f**king ugly – now go home!
    Zulema’s never should have cut the hem before she put it on the model, and she had that unfortunate shiny gold sweater material to work with, but what there was of the dress draped well. So even with the day time showing of a full moon, it was still better than the butt ugly “outfit” Kristen put together.

  22. 22
    Aries
    Posted December 11, 2005 at 2:00 pm

    Holyterror, although I am loath to disagree with a fellow aries, I must do so with your Zulema dress assessment. I think Tim Gunn said it best when he called it “vulgar” on the Bravo site. I know nothing about fashion design or how to make clothes but if Zulema only had a limited amount of material, it would have been better if she had used what she had to ensure we weren’t looking at the underside of the model’s butt. That kind of view is best left for Penthouse spreads or the gynecologist’s office. Zulema should have taken away more material from the front (maybe having the dress open all the way down to the navel) rather than the back. Granted, this might not have worked with that kind of material but there had to be another alternative than what Zulema ultimately came up with.

  23. 23
    holyterror
    Posted December 11, 2005 at 2:39 pm

    Aries: I just watched the repeat, and I agree with you — she was wearing a lot of other stuff and could have used it, and also didn’t need that whole cowl affair up top. Plus I got to revisit what a bitch Zulema is as a housemate and no longer want to be generous in my assessment of her.

    Sg-Dub: I think the Mister Mistofeles moves were supposed to be Dragon Lady moves. You’ll need to practice them in your new office uniform. Get someone else besides Andrae to design it — what a piece of crap.

    Besides his ultra-mature meltdown, Andrae also started off with a “Markus” — silence, look at feet, ask out loud where to begin. I’d have cut him off right there.

  24. 24
    anna
    Posted December 11, 2005 at 2:59 pm

    “Andrae. You are EEN!”

    heidi doesn’t even use the word “are.” she just says, “you een!” or “you out!”

    did you see the look on chloe’s face when santino said they didn’t want to give him 2 in a row? she was pissed.

  25. 25
    Leah3t
    Posted December 11, 2005 at 4:57 pm

    I thought Heidi was so cute when she was like “you would never make that girl walk down with her butt hanging out!”

    cute cute cute cute

    this show rocks. I’m so happy it’s being recapped.

  26. 26
    jenny10girl
    Posted December 11, 2005 at 5:15 pm

    Oh EdHill…I knew you’d see it my way…LOL…Santino ROCKS!!

  27. 27
    stevo
    Posted December 11, 2005 at 11:43 pm

    Zulema should have been kicked off before Kristen! Heidi told Kristen that “the judges felt that the taste level was not there”…but I think a cellulite covered ass hanging out of a gold sweater dress was a hell of a lot more tacky than what Kristen designed. Plus, Zulema’s model was wearing those damn oversized sunglasses! Ugly!!!

    The most important part of PR is being able to “defend” your design. I think Kristin got the boot because as Tim said, the challenge was about how far you would go for fashion. Would you givethe clothes off your back? Obviously Kristen wouldn’t…but then again, I know lots of girls who treat their Hermes scaves better than they treat most people (yes, I love fabulous bitches like that).

  28. 28
    jelodi
    Posted December 12, 2005 at 6:35 am

    Great recap. I had to leave the room when Andrae started crying. It was too embarrasing to watch. Kristen’s skirt wasn’t too bad, but the shirt was crap. And her defense of the outfit, plus her admission that she wouldn’t wear it herself was what got her booted off. I once tried to make a shirt out of an old teddy bear when I was 10 and it turned out better than Zulema’s hideous gold dress, and all I had to work with were some kitchen scissors and safety pins (I was very bored). Although I must admit, I feel much better about my own ass after seeing that model’s jiggly “professional” butt saunter down the runway. Looking forward to next episode’s recap!

  29. 29
    aeb
    Posted December 12, 2005 at 6:39 am

    this whole zulema thing is being overdiscussed – but i have to put my two cents in.
    she did a roll hem (or whatever the technical term is) and without that she could have had more fabric. and holyterror, you’re right – she could have loosened the cowl up for much more material.
    the sunglasses and hair were henious. i didn’t like her when she was like, “i did this corset..” in the first hour. BOO corsets.

  30. 30
    BSideLover
    Posted December 12, 2005 at 7:06 am

    This is the best part about being a predominately M-F TVGasm reader – you come back on Monday to find TWO glorious PR recaps.

    The worst part about Zulema was that she tried to blame it on the model! While the model did have some cellulite (and I won’t deny having a sinister chuckle or two over it), she didn’t have a big ass by any means. That dress wouldn’t have covered anyone’s butt – take some responsibility!

    I am SO glad you are recapping this, SG. (Are we on a nickname basis?) And what a coincidence I’m wearing one of my cheongsams today!

  31. 31
    holyterror
    Posted December 12, 2005 at 7:22 am

    Even though Kirstin’s top was ridiculous and she wouldn’t part with her scarf, I think she should have been kept over Andrae — not only because of his completely unprofessional breakdown, but because his dress was really, REALLY hideous and had no redeeming qualities whatsoever. I think we’ve all known or worked with someone whose aspirations are so lofty that they never really get anything done, and he’s one of those. NEXT! One of the (many) great things about Kara Saun was that she took her material and time constraints in stride, and never seemed to address a challenge as anything but a challenge — never a measure of her as a person.

    You people who sew can tell me: Could Kristin have made the skirt a bit shorter and have managed to make some nominal matching “top”? I kinda liked the skirt, and it was at least something well-crafted and complete (again, unlike Andrae’s).

  32. 32
    holyterror
    Posted December 12, 2005 at 7:31 am

    Please lay off the model’s ass. Most models starve themselves rather than exercise (muscle adds weight, which is a negative when they give their “stats”), so they don’t even draw on what little fat stores they have. Being thin doesn’t mean you’re in shape, and I think most people’s thighs get a little dicey when they get that close to the point where they’re no longer “thighs” and become officially “butt.” I feel sorry for the girl, as I’m sure she wouldn’t have chosen to be exposed in that way, and was still a trooper about it.

    Have you ever seen one of those people whose legs just BECOME an ass, with no intervening transitional fade mark? They come in both “very fat” and “very thin” varieties.

  33. 33
    jelodi
    Posted December 12, 2005 at 7:44 am

    I ain’t down on the girl’s butt. Its a bit nice to see a “normal” butt, when we are assaulted with altered photos of ideal beauty. Besides I thought she did have an ass/thigh separation point. It still didn’t make Zulema’s dress any better though.

    BTW, Diane Von Furstenberg is one of the few top designers that creates clothes that non-model figures can wear. Always beautiful and comfortable!

  34. 34
    stevo
    Posted December 12, 2005 at 9:56 am

    Andrae’s dress WAS hideous, but then again I think denim should only ever be used to make jeans. Anything else is unexceptable and almost guaranteed to look white trash.

    However, I am thankful to Andrae for one reason… I have officially added the word “bedraggled” to my daily vocabulary. It especially comes in handy to describe how I feel on Monday mornings.

  35. 35
    Leah3t
    Posted December 12, 2005 at 10:07 am

    all that gold dress needed was like, a band of material sewn on the bottom from another garmet. there was no ‘shortage of cloth’.

    Nice “Cats” reference by the way. I had a good chuckle on the crosstown bus. (Yay being able to read tvgasm on your blackberry!)

  36. 36
    Lisa
    Posted December 12, 2005 at 10:53 am

    so so SO happy you’re recapping this show! i recently moved and Bravo sadly isn’t on the tier of cable i can afford (stupid dish network). definitely keep including lots of caps for the poor people like me who can’t watch!

  37. 37
    holyterror
    Posted December 12, 2005 at 11:40 am

    Jelodi: Yeah, she did. I was just making a general ass-observation.

  38. 38
    grifter
    Posted December 12, 2005 at 11:47 am

    #31 – holyterror, in reference to your question about whether or not kirsten (and it is kirsten, not kristen for all you dyslexics out there) could have made the skirt shorter and used some of that material to make a better top…the short answer is yes. there are a million different possibilities that kirsten, and all the other designers for that matter, could have come up with. for example, kirsten could have turned her gold jacket into some kind of vest/halter and her jeans into a skirt. and then she could’ve also incorporated the gold sleeves into the skirt. and maybe even used the t-shirt as a scarf or something sticking out of the vest. then it wouldn’t have been so glaringly obvious that she didnt use here grandma’s scarf. basically, you have to think of the components of clothing as puzzle pieces…once deconstructed those pieces no longer belong to pants, a shirt, etc. they become raw material that can be recut and rearranged into new pieces and resewn into a new garment.
    ultimately, no matter how hideous someone’s creation turned out, ya gotta give props to all the designers b/c it’s always easier said than done.

  39. 39
    Ashes
    Posted December 12, 2005 at 11:50 am

    The best part, other than Andrae’s meltdown, was when he turned to the judges right after being told he was safe and Kirsten was out and said through his tears, “But the funny thing is I actually like her!” as though that had anything to do with anything. What a moron.

  40. 40
    holyterror
    Posted December 12, 2005 at 11:55 am

    Did y’ll read that Jay actually turned down the dough and the “mentorship” with Banana Republic?

    I think the dough and the job should have gone to Kara Saun as runner-up.

  41. 41
    holyterror
    Posted December 12, 2005 at 12:01 pm

    Grifter: Thanks for the info, and I agree on the props. It’s amazing that the piece Daniel made for the first challenge, for which he had a week, was not nearly as good as the one for the second challenge which had much greater constraints.

  42. 42
    zatanna
    Posted December 12, 2005 at 12:16 pm

    For you America’s Next Top Model fans out there, if you didn’t notice, booty girl Rachael, was a semi-final reject from cycle 3 of ANTM. AKA the crying in the bathroom girl. I don’t know if this is a step up or down here! :D

  43. 43
    grifter
    Posted December 12, 2005 at 12:23 pm

    i was shocked to hear that jay turned down the money. i guess there were too many constraints/strings associated with it. i’m sure he’ll be successful without it. and during the first episode of this season kara saun said she now has financial advisors, business plan writers, etc so sounds like she doesn’t need it either.

  44. 44
    ceenee
    Posted December 12, 2005 at 2:08 pm

    holyterror–

    where did you read that about Jay? I’m curious as I hadn’t heard anything about that and when I googled Jay McCarroll it’s all pretty outdated information

    Thanks

  45. 45
    BSideLover
    Posted December 12, 2005 at 3:15 pm

    Hmmm…holyterror – are you a Post reader too?

    Try this link to an article in the Washington Post (you may have to register):

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/12/08/AR2005120802181.html

    Apparently, he also made an Emmy dress for Heidi that she didn’t wear. It actually makes me like him more and just goes to show that these contestants REALLY aren’t interested in selling out or being pseudo celebrities. (One of them will probably sign up for the Surreal Life after I hit “post.”)

  46. 46
    Aries
    Posted December 12, 2005 at 4:25 pm

    BSideLover, thank you, thank you, thank you for posting the link to the Washington Post article. The writer is accurate, insightful and hilarious. I love how she called Zulema’s dress a hooker dress, although I think that’s a bit of an understatement for what that dress actually was.

  47. 47
    DJjazzyJason
    Posted December 12, 2005 at 4:43 pm

    Whereas I love Zuma, the brilliant msn puzzle game available at http://www.zone.com, I however do not care for Zeluma one bit. There’s one thing I don’t understand though, (“ONE THING?!?!”), Kristen was chastised for not using her scarf however Omorzeluma failed to use any of her pants and nothing was said about it.

  48. 48
    zulemalover
    Posted December 12, 2005 at 4:54 pm

    djjazzyjason – i thought the same thing about zulema not being chastised for not using her jeans. but since i love her i wasn’t upset. seems that a few of the designers didn’t use all of their materials yet nothing was said to them either. i think the ‘behind the scenes’ people (and yes, there are producers, writers, etc even on this show giving cues, pointers, etc to shape ‘storylines’) zeroed in on kirsten’s sentimental attachment to her tacky scarf and wanted to turn it into a plot point complete with her tying it around her neck when she left the cutting room and then wearing it as a halter top in her post-outed interview.

  49. 49
    miss j
    Posted December 12, 2005 at 4:57 pm

    < >

    yuck any one else see that Pepper was on Celebrity Poker

  50. 50
    holyterror
    Posted December 12, 2005 at 5:30 pm

    Ceenee (#44): I got it on Realityblurred.com.

    BSideLover (#45): I used to be a big New York Post fan. Never have read the Washington Post. Thanks for the link.

    There’s also a pretty good one page spread in the December 9 Entertainment Weekly (with a DARLING picture of Heidi). Sounds like there’s some discord. Heidi says (about the dress you mentioned), “Jay’s gown just didn’t work. He was very cavalier about the whole thing.”

    Jay has a two-hour special of his own on Bravo this February about his post-show career, so I guess we’ll get the poop.

  51. 51
    holyterror
    Posted December 12, 2005 at 5:39 pm

    Miss J.: I saw that!! She was trying SOOOO hard to be a flirt!

  52. 52
    Mrs. Petersen
    Posted December 12, 2005 at 6:21 pm

    I lovelovelove that Santino was so snarky to Andrae and Chloe. His stuff is gorgeous and so far he looks like the winner to me. Mark is a close second, though.

    No one should feel sorry for Chloe having only an itty bit of fabric. Boo-hoo bitches! What she had was basically uncut fabric, fresh from the bolt. She had it easier than all of them because she didn’t have to worry about pre-existing seams.

  53. 53
    grifter
    Posted December 12, 2005 at 8:14 pm

    # 52 – my point exactly, mrs. petersen, about chloe having a blank slate to work with. i should’ve put the comment here instead of at the end of the other article. and who’s mark? am i missing someone?

  54. 54
    Ashes
    Posted December 13, 2005 at 10:12 am

    I think there are two reasons why Kirsten was criticized for not using her scarf when others didn’t use their jeans, etc. First, her shirt was basically a bib version of her previous t-shirt with little change. They probably thought she needed the extra material to create something different than what she started with, whereas Zulema didn’t, as hideous as her “dress” was. Second, the point of the exercise was the see what they would sacrifice, and she made the biggest noise about not being willing to sacrifice something. While I think she was well within her rights, she could have just made her outfit without raising the issue and it might not have sent up a red flag that she wasn’t willing to sacrifice. You know the judges heard about her ongoing backstage comments about the scarf.

  55. 55
    stevo
    Posted December 13, 2005 at 10:18 am

    Did anyone see Jay McCarroll on “The Comeback” on HBO? He played himself and created a dress for the Emmy’s for Valerie Cherish (aka Lisa kudrow). She eneded up wearing the dress backwards. It was pretty funny.

  56. 56
    Mel
    Posted December 16, 2005 at 3:19 pm

    Awesome interview with Jay McCarroll that talks about the Heidi dress, not taking the prize money, and “Project Jay”: http://www.salon.com/ent/tv/int/2005/12/07/mccarroll/index.html?sid=1418946

  57. 57
    Jen
    Posted December 23, 2005 at 9:09 am

    Mel: just wanted to thank you for that wonderful link!! I loved Jay on PR #1 but that interview makes me love him even more!!

    To everyone else: thanks for making this the best site to read for PR. Thanks!!!

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