Project Runway: A Night on the Clown

Project Runway

By Flipit | Thursday, July 31, 2008 | 2:57 am | 32 Comments
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This week on Project Runway, Jennifer kicks Audrey Hepburn in the nuts.

Picture 6-50

She deserved it!

Reading your comments from last week, I see that lots of you liked Suede, or as we shall now refer to him, Pleather, ‘s dress. I took some time to think deeply about why I can’t stand this guy, other than the obvious reasons like the blue mohawk and the double pointing at the cameras and the overcooked positive attitude. Wait, that’s enough, right? Yup, still hate the dress. And every time I look at him I see what Susan Powter would look like today had she given up on the militant eat, breathe and move crap and had a pizza. Actually, I think I would like Susan Powter if she got fat. Now I’m just confusing myself. Point is…



EW.

Since the show must go on, I will put last week aside. But I’m telling you right now Natalie Portman can shove her vegan shoes up her vegan cornhole. I keep having this dream where I go to Sea World and have the best time ever.

Natalieeaten

I would buy season passes if Sea World would stop being such a bunch of pussies and put on a real show.

If that shark bit her she would look like Suede’s dress. OK moving on. Sorry but it’s been a week of festering over here. Thanks for your time. This week starts with Daniel, who I don’t think has said more than two words at a time yet, telling us that he is sad that Wesley left because he felt like they were “connecting well”. That’s one way to say “I will miss playing tummy sticks with him.” Yes, for those of you who haven’t heard, Daniel and Wesley are doing it. I wonder how each of them knew the other was even gay?

Picture 5-3

I like your shorts. Are you by any chance a huge homo?



Kelli tries to wake Stella up, but that girl is out cold. Come on, Stella, if you don’t get ready you’re gonna look all haggard and unkept. Again.

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When she’s asleep she looks like a little angel. Of death, but an angel’s an angel.



And then Kelli blinks one eye independently of the other one.

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Heidi comes out in jeans so tight that I worry a bit for her ovaries. That can’t be healthy. Her next kid’s gonna have a raisin head. She gives Pleather, who’s wearing a Yoko Ono staying in to clean the house do rag on his head, the opportunity to keep his model or pick another. Instead of just saying “I’ll keep Auntie”, he blows kisses and says his own name three times like he’s winning a World Cheese Award.

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Kung Pao Chicken Hawk

Heidi tells the designers that they have worked so hard that they get to take a night on the town. Riiiight. They all for it and clap and giggle. Pleather blows kisses at Heidi, but she ducks and rolls out of the room so none of them hit her. Back at the Atlas, the designers try and guess where they are going and none of them thinks this is a challenge. When Tim comes to pick them up, Blayne calls him Timlicious (ARGH), snorts really deeply and asks immediately if they are going to a club.

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Calm down, crack head. You’re not gonna score.



It’s raining so Bravo gives the designers giant fug rain panchos to traipse around in. Tim takes them to one of those double decker sight seeing busses and Stella starts telling stories about meeting Sonny on one of these things and doing it with her boots on. TMI, Drag Cher. The challenge will be to drive around and get inspired for New York at Night dresses. They all get cameras to record their inspiration. I have a feeling Blayne’s pics will all be of the floor of a men’s restroom. Time will tell, but my fingers are crossed.

Pleather, Daniel, Leanne and Jennifer are dropped off at Columbus Circle, Korto, Kelli and Joe are dropped off at the Library, Terri, Emily and Jerell are dropped in the Village, and Blayne, Keith, Stella and Kenley are set loose in Times Square. I hope someone gets inspired by the giant Olive Garden. No one will let Blayne ask around for coke, but they just laugh when he asks if there’s a tanning bed nearby. I don’t think I have had the opportunity to root for skin cancer, so I’m gonna take it now. PS I haven’t been to NYC for five years, so can someone please explain to me what the hell happened to Times Square? Not that it was ever the epitome of class, but still.

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Catch up, Wal Mart. The city’s your oyster.



People are getting inspired by some pretty crazy things. Water mains, the smell of pee…but Stella is having trouble joining them cuz she can’t figure out how to work the camera. Unfortunately, the only help nearby is Blayne, who suggests she “open your thang”. Uh…please don’t. Kelli gets into a silver and black fire hydrant and decides to go for a Mad Max look, and Emily discards her sex shop idea and instead takes a pic of a No Standing at Any Time sign. Well, I suppose people in wheelchairs deserve cute clothes too, but her model’s gonna be pissed.

Terri is inspired by a newspaper machine with stickers and graffiti all over it, and I hope she pulls this one off cuz I’ve always wanted an excuse to stick my gum on a model. Keith talks about how it’s hard being a gay man when you live in Salt Lake City, Utah, and I agree. It’s hard to even know that gay people live in Salt Lake City, Utah. It kinda explains his general awkwardness and also why he keeps taking pictures of men’s crotches.

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Japanese tourists take pictures of buildings, gay repressed tourists from Utah take pictures of crotches. We all have our Chrysler Buildings, k?

He says that he wants to win PR so he can escape to New York, and in his desperation he starts getting pretty dickish with the other designers. He jumps in front of them every time they are gonna take a picture and makes sure to get everything they have. Kenly and Stella start bitching about it, and he tells us he doesn’t care because he’s not here to make friends. Man, even the fresh meat from Utah is a reality show hack. He starts to tell us how much he hates negative energy but cuts of the sentence to jump in front of Stella while she shoots a boogar stuck to the side of a streetlamp.

After their hour is done, it’s back to the apartments for bed time. Why do we have to watch them get ready for bed? Why? It’s disturbing.

Picture 3-66

Reverse discrimination.

The next day, the first thing they do is select a photo. I can’t really concentrate at first because Blayne is wearing a bright pink sweatshirt. He’s trying so hard it hurts to look at him. Both literally and figuratively.

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We get it. You’re different. Now please shrivel up and die already.

Keith chooses a pic of a magazine that was stepped on, and says he chose it because he likes glamour. ? It’s a piece of Julia Roberts’ elbow and a story about the war in Iraq covered in NYC street gunk. I am solidly behind this idea. Tim is in a very good mood today so far. He hasn’t snapped at anyone yet and he doesn’t even make Blayne change that sweatshirt before going to Mood.

In the fabric store, Kenly chooses some really hideous Hawaiian print and tells us that she likes to incorporate a 40′s or 50′s look into everything she does. You don’t say. Try incorporating not fug, k? Whatever decade you want. Most everyone does a pretty good job of speeding through the store to find what they need. I say most everyone because Stella is still on the show. She sits in the middle of the floor and drones “Helllooooo? Is aaaanyone gonna heeeelp meee?” For fuck’s sake, lady, you’re looking for black and shiny. How hard can that be? The gaysian Mood clerk just ignores her ass, which kills me. F the models, this is the one that deserves a spinoff.

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Someone tell Laverne Difozio to shut it before I open a can of bitch ass all over her.

Oh yeah, still hate Pleather. He says his own name a few times and I hit FF. Seriously I am going to get a bloody ulcer if he’s not gone soon.

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Kenly chose a map as her inspiration, which somehow led to aqua, green and purple print. She says that she is finally gonna get to show the judges who she is as a designer, which is young, chic, new, and fresh. The fifties were new, 58 years ago. If Dick Van Dyke is the guest judge, this girl has it made. Even Straight Guy thinks she made a wrong turn, calling her print “Ft. Lauderdale Lawn Cushion-y”. LOL, Straight Guy. Didn’t know you had it in you.

Terri comes up to Leanne and tells her that she’s a great designer even if she sucked it hard last week. Leanne is worried that she’s just gonna be too damn creative again, which wasn’t really the problem. The squircangle orgy was the problem and it doesn’t look like she learned her lesson, because she’s chosen a tree planter as her inspiration. It’s fitting that it looks like an electric stovetop, because if she gets too crazy with the new “innovative” shapes, she’s gonna get grilled.

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Straight lines are for wussies.

She’s doing a lot of layers of weird made up shapes again, but I am less scared for her when the camera pans over to Emily. It looks like she’s cut up Blayne and started pinning him all over a dress form.

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Uh…..

Keith is taking Pleather’s cue from last week and just pinning lots of crap to a dress form and hoping Natalie Portman will be there in a hunger induced delirium. He says that he is a very abstract artist and his work is simply the best. I don’t even remember one thing he’s made so far, but I’ll take his word for it. Keith is apparently taking a stab at being the villain, but he’s way too dull and confused looking for the job. Next! Stella hates the dress, asking “Who weahs that?” Come on Stella. You’re like fifty and you wear short shorts and horizontally striped tights with holes in them. Still, she’s right.

Terri is working on another loud unattractive pattern, so at least Kenly won’t be alone on that one. Kenly tells us that she saw Emily’s work and it’s old and been done. Guess what else has been done? THE FIFTIES. For like ten years. On the other side of the workroom, Stella is hammering a drill bit into her work and calling a grommet gay. She finally got her camera to work and took picture of the first animal skinned thing she saw, a horse in Central Park. Why? “Cuz I’m into leathuh!” Man I wish this season was taped in 1998 so Molly Shannon could play her on SNL.

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I’m Sally O’Malley and I like LEATHUH!



She’s making everyone nuts with her hammering, but she doesn’t care cuz she’s rock n’ roll and she’s gonna be rock n’ roll til she dies! Poor rock n’ roll. Like it hasn’t taken enough of a beating since the electronic era took over. Tim comes in to check on progress and he starts with Jennifer, who’s latest Audrey Hepburn ape-ing is taking place. It’s a mess, and he tells her so. She takes it very seriously. You can tell because there’s not even an inch of gums.

Tim stops over at Keith’s station and just has one question. “What is it?” LOL, Gunn. Keith starts babbling and Tim stops him to ask “Yeah, but what is it?” I love this man. Keith shows him the pic of the tread on magazine and Tim crinkles his face and asks if he’s planning on giving the dress some sort of shape. And is that Julia Roberts’ elbow? He is silent for a long while when he gets to Kenly, and Terri gets the same reaction. She explains that she is into street culture and has “diversity in creativity”. He agrees that the junked out newspaper machine looks exactly like her junked out work, and she claims that when her model turns around and people see that its a dress in the front and pants in the back, they’ll exclaim “OH MY GOD!” He asks her if they will be saying it like they are happy or like they just found a street person in their home.

Leanne is sticking with her wacky “new shapes” thing, but this week her work is more refined. Well, the skirt is. She hasn’t started on the blouse yet. Tim thinks it’s gorgeous so far, but warns her against going too far again. Emily gets the opposite advice. She doesn’t really get it when Tim tells her she made a black dress with a giant clown corsage pinned to it, so he gracefully refrains from pulling out a zippo and starting it on fire and instead tells her he wants more. I’m assuming he means money, because no one is paid enough to have to look at some of the crap he’s had to look at today. Emily tells us that she is confident in her work despite Tim’s criticism because she has her own sense of style. Yes, we know you do, cuz you have a new wacky headband on every day. OY. Where did they find these people?

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Pocahontas dressed like this and the white man stole her land. Maybe you should just, like, comb your hair or something.

Tim has nothing to say about Blayne’s work, but there are still cameras rolling so Blayne comes up to him anyway and says “Holla atcha boy.” Tim repeats “Holler at you boy” a few times, but still doesn’t get it so he asks Blayne what it means. Shockingly, Blayne doesn’t know, leaving Tim to repeat it over and over mindlessly as he leaves. I can’t wait til he tries to use that at the next Corkmaster’s Meet and Greet. The next day, Stella puts on my favorite outfit.

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I wish my Meemaw would throw out the Marshall’s knit sweaters and get some fashion sense like Stella. You’re never too old to dress like a dirty used up crack whore, Meemaw! Love, Flip

Last minute preparations and model fittings get underway, but there is a problem with Keith’s model. She had to drop out because she was caught eating a cookie off the Kraft service table, so Keith is stuck with someone else. He tells us how difficult this is gonna be and how he’s such a champion for rising above it and blah blah. It’s not like these models are all different sizes, for crying out loud. And besides, his dress is shapeless so who cares? I wouldn’t say Keith is becoming the villain, but I can say that I def don’t like him.

Montage of “OMG NOTHING’s READY!” It’s the usual running around and screaming, but the quick shots we get of the dresses are way louder than normal. Time for the runway show! Heidi comes out looking a little bit wrecked. She’s lazy eyed today and she’s wearing a Fran Drescher blouse and a super tight shiny mini skirt with stilettos. Yikes. Ah well, it’s nice to see the fat bitch have the confidence to wear leopard print.

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Is Seal out of town or what, ho?

The guest judge for the week is “nightlife officianado” Sandra Bernhard. WHAT HAPPENED TO SANDRA??? It looks like she’s wearing a Nixon mask. Botox can only do so much for crying out loud. I love me some Sandra Bernhard, but I am frightened.

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David Bowie’s face stung by a swarm of bees.



Heidi tells us that Sandra will be touring the nation with her one woman show “Without You, I’m Nothing”. That show came out like twenty years ago. She’s reviving herself. I guess I can see why. I went to see her here in LA last year and all she did was complain about her boring wife and her nanny. I love Sandra and I will probably pay to see her again, but keep her ass on stage, please. The cameras are assholes. Also, before we get started, I should mention that Jerell should be kicked off this show just for how he’s dressed for the runway.

Picture 4-57

Five wrongs don’t make a right, sir.

Keith tells us that his work is a “beautiful piece of killer fashion”, but his poor model looks like a mop that was used to clean up after a little girl’s princess party. Blayne’s model looks like she was pulled out of a magician’s sleeve, and Straight Guy’s girl is dressed like a tacky rich lady’s dog. She even has a tail! Was that lamp in Trump Tower?

Group1

Emily’s dress is hideous. It looks almost exactly like Blayne’s, but with different colors as the clown ruffles. Leanne’s finally made the squircangle work for her, and I am proud of the girl. The dress isn’t great, but it’s a helluva lot better that her work last week, and I am curious to know how many different ways she can try and sell this new innovative shape. My heart falls when Jennifer’s dress comes down the runway, though. It looks like someone knocked up Holly Golightly and then left her all poor and disheveled on the street. If Audrey Hepburn were with us today, she would totally die right now.

Group2-1

Jerell did a pretty good job this week. He took pics of the fountain at Columbus Circle but I guess stared at the murky green water a little long. Oh top it’s a pretty, simple ball gown and on the bottom it’s Deadwood Hooker time, and I liked Deadwood. Kelli did a black macrome thing for her top and then made a little leather skirt. Her model looks like Stella probably did before the semi truck we call time ran her over and left her for dead. Daniel’s inspiration was a shiny wall, which is a total cop out. He just wanted to make something shiny! He ended up with a green simple dress with a kind of a banner thing. Not gross, but totally bore snore.

Group3-1

Kenly’s dress, predictably, is hellafug. Pointy shoulders? Giant hips? Misplaced purple tulle covering half the skirt for no reason? All checks. Someone shot Ariel the mermaid and made a severely nasty dress out of her. Mermaid killer! Pleather is worried that his work is “just way too abstract”. What’s abstract about that? I saw that shiny brown with gold buttons and a gold chain belt crap at Forever 21 like two weeks ago. It’s cheap and wrong and he will probably win, because the PR god hates me this year. Stella accomplished her goal of making a rock n’ roll outfit, but it’s really boring. I love it though because it makes her bony ass model look like she has a muffin top, and that always wins points from me.

Group4-1

Korto did a super plain black jumpsuit, which was somehow inspired by a very ornate column. I don’t get it. Why bother? Is she afraid that she was too creative last week? She looks very upset, like when Effie found out Beyonce stole her song. Terri’s work is better than Kenly’s, in case you were wondering who won the hideous pattern smackdown, but that’s all I can really say about it. The junked up newspaper stand looks like it was dressed by Prada, compared to this mess.

Group5-1

Keith, Kenly, Emily, Terri, Jennifer, and Leanne are kept on the runway. Huh? I get that they would be in the lowest, but who’s the highest here? This is so wrong. Kenly’s up first. Sandra thinks that it would only work on a tall thin (blind?) woman, but Kenly argues that the shape can hide a lot. Kors says it will only hide something if you have one giant thigh and one normal thigh. LOL. Sandra adds goiters and larg growths to the mix. Kors says it looks like an 80′s Joan Collins power bitch dress, which I think is way kind. He must have been doing lots of blow then. AND NOW, cuz it turns out that he meant that as a COMPLIMENT!!! WTF? Nina chimes in that it’s very LaCroix and she thinks it’s adorable. Uh….this is the last time I paid attention to LaCroix…

Picture 4-58

At least Eddy meant it as a joke.

Kors says Keith’s stomped on magazine dress looks like toiletpaper in a wind storm. HA. Heidi calls him out on the shapelessness, and Nina say’s it looks unpolished. His excuse is that “it’s my point of view”, but Nina gets a bit miffed and says it’s sloppy. Then he makes a goofy face at her. Boy, you better watch it. Actually, don’t. I have always been annoyed that Nina has stopped at actual physical violence. Keep being a dickwad!

When the judges get to Terri, she starts snapping her fingers and talking about how her girl is the girl who gets invited to all the parties. Sandra…AGREES. She says that the look is fabulous and the person who would buy it would be the girl who would cut you if you fucked with her in a dark alley. I think the girl who’d buy it would be in dark allies a lot of the time. Heidi loved it, Kors loved it. What am I missing, here?

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She’s already wearing the eggs I wanna throw at her.

Sandra gets her shit back together and tells Emily that her dress is chacha, and Nina throws in a Carmen Miranda for good measure. The judges all love Squircangle’s planter dress, meaning Jennifer is in the bottom. She knows it, but she gives the best presentation she can anyways. Something about surrealism and clocks and Holly Golightly and Salvador Dali. Kors is like yeah uh uh it looks like crap. Heidi hates it, Nina thinks it boring, and Sandra stays quiet.

In alone time, the judges praise Teri and Kenly, which I don’t get, but I feel happy when they give Squircangle her due. Emily is on top of the bad pile, and for the first time ever, Nina has NO COMMENT. HAHAHAHAAAAA. Love her. Keith was too bright and shapeless, and when the talk turns to Jennifer, Heidi says that she doesn’t wanna see any more from her. Damn, Heidi! Take a nap!

And the winner is….Kenly the Mermaid killer. Two weeks in a row I am way off. The bottom two are Emily and Jennifer, and Heidi tells Emily that her work was boring and distracting. Jennifer was matronly. Jennifer is…IN! Wow. I thought for sure she was a goner. Emily’s outta there, and she can’t believe it. She thinks there was work that was way worse than hers, which is hard to call. Ah well, she’ll always have her headbands.

What do you guys think?Did the work today suck as hard as I thought it did or should I just start drinking again?

Flipit
About

Currently, Flipit's writing Real Housewives of Beverly Hills recaps, which you can find here. You can also find him doing a gossip segment twice a week called BS of the Day and video recaps of Project Runway All Stars, as well as spoof ReDubs of the coming soon trailers at the end of RHOBH!

Ronnie Karam has been with TVgasm since 2006 , which has given him the opportunity to make fun of hundreds of TV's most loved and hated reality whores. His plan in life was to be Julia Roberts but that plan was stolen by, well, Julia Roberts. He'll get you one day, JULIA ROBERTS!! When not making himself giggle for the gasm, Ronnie performs improv and sketch comedy at IO West in Hollywood a couple of times weekly while using the lovely California days to audition for commercial roles such as "ADORABLE MEXICAN UNCLE". Seriously. He would like to thank Jesus, Buddha and Xenu for the blessings they've bestowed. The writers here are the best around, and he's honored to be associated with them. Find video archives at CankleTV.com, or follow on Twitter @flipit

32 Comments

  1. 1
    TVEyes
    Posted July 31, 2008 at 6:49 am

    Do not start drinking again! The work sucked! Did the producers just give up because the show is moving to another network? You can tell how horrible the designers are by the way they personally dress. After looking at them, would you want them dressing you? Come on… neon? Striped pants? Headbands? This is the worst talent they have ever had but it is kind of fun to watch them crash and burn each week. Still, I miss the awesome creativity of past years. And Squircangle got robbed!

  2. 2
    Wirdald
    Posted July 31, 2008 at 7:15 am

    You are spot-on for everything… except I have to admit I sorta, kinda, maybe liked Kenley’s Ariel-skin dress. I would never wear it, and I thought it was ugly even while I thought it was kind of cool. She shouldn’t have won, but it was memorable, at least.

    I didn’t like Terri’s outfit either, and was it just me, or did the whole “backless” thing fall kind of flat? Korto’s boring black outfit was more backless. Terri’s outfit looked like a ’70s Rhoda Morgenstern outfit, and it also looked terrible when the model walked. It’s one of those outfits that’s always getting caught between your legs, so you’re constantly tugging at it so you don’t end up waddling around with a dress-diaper.

    I think you’ve mentioned it before, but you can definitely pick out who is the camera whore and who really wants to be a designer. Blayne, Pleather and Jerell are so blatantly playing to the cameras at all times. Like when Blayne asked Jerell if he had his mask on, and Jerell steps out all “la-di-da, I’m ready for bed now.” Please.

    And lastly (I swear!), this is the only time in all seasons of Project Runway that I have felt no desire to rewatch an episode. Why? Because of Pleather’s constant third-person crap and Blayne’s “licious”ness. I’m too cheap for Tivo, but I’ll definitely start keeping my finger on the mute button so I can block their voices and keep my ears from bleeding.

  3. 3
    cherin
    Posted July 31, 2008 at 7:36 am

    I agree with all of the above comments, this is definitely the first season that I’ve been ok with only seeing each episode once. I get excited when I see a marathon of any prior season because they were so incredibly interesting and entertaining.

    This season is horrible, I haven’t seen idiots pandering to tv cameras this badly since season 3 of Laguna Beach with awful Cami and Kyndra.

  4. 4
    Pegster
    Posted July 31, 2008 at 8:09 am

    Yes, the work sucked as bad as you thought it did, but you should start drinking again anyway; I have a feeling these “crapolicious” designers are only going to get worse.

    It’s like they went out and tried to find people with absolutely no taste and who were put on this planet to make me mad (both mad crazy and mad angry). Between Pleather and Blayne, I don’t know who to kill first.

  5. 5
    marishka
    Posted July 31, 2008 at 8:18 am

    I totally agree that Squircangle got robbed of the victory. Reading your recap reminded me of how much the judges made fun of the mermaid-killer when they were first critiquing it. Then, suddenly, it was the best? Huh.

    Again, the editors with the massive misdirection on who is going home. Keith was given so much camera time I was sure he was the one….but I guess you’ve always got to listen to the Tim critique. Whichever designer gets the most advice and answers it with a “well, I’m going to do what I want despite what Tim sez, because I have a VISION” is def. going bye-bye. LISTEN TO TIM! HE KNOWS!

    That being said, Emily should not have gone home. Her dress may have been hella ugly, but I think she probably has more talent than Jennifer. Jennifer reminds me of one of those people who have no personality, so they lock onto something immensely popular and hip and a little bizarre, that no one really understands (Holly Golightly and Salvidor Dali). They co-opt those traits for themselves so they can feel unusual and special…but she doesn’t even have the gumption to take those traits on well and use them–like Kenley and her 50′s pin-up girl attire.

    I was so excited at the beginning of the first episode, as it looked like we had a really good, creative set of designers. Now, I’m a little meh. And Tim, don’t just holla atcher boi. Smack him upside the head and tell him to stop using -licious. It’s annoying.

    : )

  6. 6
    teri00
    Posted July 31, 2008 at 9:32 am

    “Deadwood hooker…” HHAHAHAHAHAHA! I was thinking the same thing… where was Swearingin?

    *ahem* Anyway, great recap, as is your wont, Flipit! :)

  7. 7
    J-Mo J-Mo
    Posted July 31, 2008 at 9:53 am

    Worst. “Designers”. Ever!!! They should try to give some of their designs to the homeless people surrounding the area and I bet you dollars to donuts even THEY would think the stuff was only good for sleeping on or wiping ass with.

    And I’m sorry, but when a white (well FORMERLY-white, I guess he’s kind of tangerine now) guy with a lemon-head troll-face and damaged Malibu Barbieâ„¢ hair is using a catch-phrase such as “Holla atcha boy!” then it’s time to fucking RETIRE that phrase as it’s lost any shred of street-cred it ever had on the wizened leathery lips o’ Blayne. SHAME on you Tim Gunn, for encouraging that wispy skank-job to continue speaking (or breathing, for that matter)!

    My memory ain’t the best because of my rampant alcoholism caused by reality TV damage, but if I’m digging properly through the haze, didn’t we have at LEAST 4 or 5 designers last season by Episode 3 that were exciting and we knew they were going to make it to the top? This crop of fucktards’ only aim seems to be trying NOT to out-suck each other (and make silly faces and mug for the camera) and it’s just SAD…

    *sigh* I miss Chris March hugging a bottle of Hershey’s syrup… *snif*

    love, J-Mo :)

    P.S. Flipit, I still want to submit “squircangle” for inclusion on wiktionary! Love you!

  8. 8
    Lime23
    Posted July 31, 2008 at 10:02 am

    Flipit,

    I think I was the only one who kind of liked the Suede bluefly dress, so I don’t think you really need to revisit your original assessment based on one errant opinion. (Well, unless you count Nina & Kors, but who counts them?)

    But I guess I’m still a contrarian here, because while I thought most of last weeks’ works were kind of hideous (except, of course, Suede’s beauteous creation *smirk*), I actually thought this weeks’ offerings were OK.

    Even Kenley’s — while I can’t say I LIKED the goiter dress, it at least was kind of interesting. And I kind of liked Terry’s too. And Squircangles? Thought it was ‘very chic,’ as MK would say.

    So, it wasn’t that bad; they aren’t that bad. Y’all are a bunch of Debbie Downers. Remember in Season 2 (and I loooooved Season 2) when it was a seriously big deal to produce a pair of pants? or even *gasp* sleeves? These people are trying for more elaborate stuff.

  9. 9
    Clair
    Posted July 31, 2008 at 10:04 am

    So, “Editor at Large” means what? Like she’s missing and no one can find her – like “Fugitve at Large”?

    Great recap Flipit!!

  10. 10
    armstrae
    Posted July 31, 2008 at 10:19 am

    I LOVED the AbFab reference and totally thought about it when Nina mentioned La Croix. Man, that was a riot. And thank God for La Garcia because this season is awful. If they don’t shape up soon, I’m out!

    Oh, and I love that you called Keith out – he is a real jerk. Oh, and while Salt Lake ain’t no NYC or SF, its mayor supports Freedom to Marry and, really, SLC is NOTHING like the rest of Utah. But really, I bet the Moromon’s just hate Keith because he’s a dirty, unkempt pig. They are all about clean; seriously – they SHINE. Nothing to do with they gay-ness. Well, at least not all of it.

  11. 11
    mrsdaddytom
    Posted July 31, 2008 at 11:36 am

    blayne is just convinced that if he uses a catchphrase, he can win pr despite being talentless and obnoxious.

    nevertheless, if he doesn’t stop using the word ‘licious’ like it’s on the clearance rack, i’m going hunt him down and smack him upside his neon orange head.

  12. 12
    serjen
    Posted July 31, 2008 at 12:14 pm

    apparently the judges like tulle. Last week and this week’s winners both used tulle. I thought Kenley’s dress was HIDEOUS and I gaurantee it would be on the Worst Dressed List if a celebrity ever wore it out in public.
    I loved Leanne’s simple skirt and top, and I don’t know why simple and classic clothing never wins on this show.

  13. 13
    MorbidCuriosity
    Posted July 31, 2008 at 12:32 pm

    Blayne can’t help being a character. I mean, he’s been a model for years… You didn’t know? He’s been on the cover of MAD Magazine since forever! He and Alfred E. Newman are separated-at-birth!

  14. 14
    flipit
    Posted July 31, 2008 at 12:59 pm

    holy crap that’s f ing BEAUTIFUL!!!^^^^

    i knew he looked like someone! love you guys

  15. 15
    sayhuh
    Posted July 31, 2008 at 1:17 pm

    Nope. Cap’n Morgan will miss you, Flipit, because the dresses were all HORRIBLE (except for Squircangle’s). I also watched the season 2′s NY inspiration episode yesterday, and all the dresses there were so much better.

    Somebody please please please take Stella off my TV NOW. What a whiiiiiiiiiinah. And her clothes all put me in mind of Cher ca. 1968, so what’s so damn fresh about them? She has overtaken Shriveled Roasted Squirrellicious and Pleathah as the one I can’t stand the most. And I have no one to root for. By this time last year I loved loved loved Chris March, and even Sweet Pea, come on!

    I’m glad at least they are starting to get rid of the twin sets. I mean, every time I saw Emily I just thought she was Kenly without the flower or bird corpse on her hair. And I still can’t tell Jennifer and Squircangle apart. Well, thank God Alfred E. Neuman wasn’t competing this year, because MorbidCuriosity, you are so right, it would have made 3 pairs of twins!

    Yup, Jerrell’s taste in shirts sucks. I say going shirtless for the rest of the competition is the least he can do for us. It might even make it bearable to have him around. Who’s with me?

  16. 16
    juddfan
    Posted July 31, 2008 at 1:26 pm

    Love love love you flip!!! Too funny!!! And I’m with Pegster, SERIOUS FUG going on in there, but you should def start drinking again!

    OMG! Never have I gagged and choked and laughed sooo hard!!!! If Emily was out with that, how did licious not make the bottom . . . Leanne (the other white girl) was robbed, her dress was spot on!!! I also liked straight guys, very cute, the rest . . . hmmm. I like Terri, but that was backwards and ugly fabric, didn’t like the pants, esp the flares–aren’t skinny pants back? Poor Korto, hopefully she’ll come out of her shell next time. I also like Kenly (she called both losers in her diary’s) and her reaction to growls was priceless–but never that print, never Mint Julip–how did she find those shoes! Bleeech!!! Lastly, Mask man (reverse discrimination LMAO!!!!) probably did his best work–on that Deadwood hooker, not sure I liked it, but well done!

    Stella is like what I want from Renny on BB–just a riot to watch her stumble around . . . but woah, those sans makeup diaries . . . she should listen to you Flip!!!

  17. 17
    Memememe
    Posted July 31, 2008 at 3:21 pm

    You guys are all so lovely and talented. The recaps are top notch and so are the comments.

    Jerrell made a formal dress instead of one appropriate for a night on the town, and I was disappointed no one on the panel called him on it.

    I’d also like to point out that Heidi AGAIN walked out wearing short, tight, & shiny (on the skirt anyway).

    Which one do we want to get rid of first: Stelllaaaaahh, Tanlishious, or Pleather? I can’t decide which one is the most aggravating. Probably Pleather with that third-person shit.

    Incidentally, Malibu Barbie Ken had a friend, and guess what his name was?

    http: // www. antibarbie. com / blaine.jpg

    He was supposed to be Ken’s rival but the Barbie fans ignored him.

  18. 18
    preppyboy
    Posted July 31, 2008 at 3:25 pm

    great recap! and squircangles was totes robbed. but its funny how you mentioned Tim should be getting paid more, because in the first season he earned a whopping $0. and in the 2nd season he made $2,500 per episode. so in 2 seasons he made $35,000. TG is makin the big bux

  19. 19
    sunshey
    Posted July 31, 2008 at 6:19 pm

    You’re so right; all the half-way decent designs are hidden in the ‘middle-of-the-pack’ crew.

  20. 20
    silly grrl
    Posted July 31, 2008 at 6:30 pm

    Am I the only one who noticed that the dress that Emily was making was almost identical to the mag cover poster on the wall that was RIGHT ABOVE HER HEAD the whole time? You can kinda see it on page 3 of Flipit’s recap in the picture captioned “Uh..”. The producers showed her dress juxtiposed (sp?) with that cover over and OVER again (Tivo will prove me right…) so they had to know and were making a point of it. It stuck out like a sore thumb to me.

    Anywho, Headband needed to go. The rest are entertaining, except for whiiiinah Stella, so I’ll be watching. But I agree with other commentors that this season has not made me want to rewatch any episodes. Sigh. Great Recap, Flipit! Keep up the good work. Your recaps are the best part of PR5.

  21. 21
    silver
    Posted July 31, 2008 at 9:02 pm

    This season is dismal.
    Blayne/Blaine/turd-boy is only trying to be a reality show guy.
    Pleather referring to Pleather as Pleather?! I. Want. To. Hit. Him.
    Jarrel’s wanna-be snarkiness?? Which it is NOT.
    Two challenges out of three that are directly from other seasons.

    I love Project Runway…why are they doing this to their fans?????

    BTW-does Stella remind anyone else of Vincent Libretti from season 3?

  22. 22
    bentley1101
    Posted July 31, 2008 at 9:26 pm

    Love you Flipit,

    I was drinking while watching this episode and not only did the designs not look any better, but the decisions didn’t make any more sense either.

    Kenly’s dress looked like she saved one of the bouncy balls from week one and put that on her model, then topped it with her mom’s 80′s jacket that was too big for her. The print looked like my nephew’s throw up after I made the mistake of giving him cotton candy and a slushy and then letting him go on a rollercoaster. Terri’s was also hideous. What killed me was that the print was bad, the dress/pants thing has been done and wasn’t ever my favorite, yet she thought the judges wouldn’t get backless?

    In the end though, have to say shame on the judges, not the designers, you shouldn’t reward for this crap.

  23. 23
    chachi
    Posted August 1, 2008 at 7:35 am

    What drives me nuts about Pleather is his inability to consistently refer to himself in 3rd person. “Pleather likes chiffon. I don’t see anything else but chiffon” or something retarded like that.

    It’s like he can only do 3rd person if it’s the first word of his mouth for that particular rant!

  24. 24
    melpadgett
    Posted August 1, 2008 at 9:37 am

    OMGawd….hilarious recap…”Sandra Bernhard wearing a Nixon mask” made me laugh for half the day!!!!

    Tim Gunn “Holl-ER” he is just too adorable for words!!

  25. 25
    juddfan
    Posted August 1, 2008 at 10:17 am

    Sillygrrl, you are not alone, tho I didn’t see it, the blogosphere is alive with commentary on that blatant plagerism, but honestly, if she wanted to cop that look, why not go all the way, and skip the ruffles!!! UGH!!!

    Guess I’m the only one who finds Stella’s whiiining entertaining . . . .

    On project rungay, another recap site with a bunch of screengrabs from the producers (good way to see crappy stitching etc) there’s a link to a recent runway show for some designer with ugly looking stuff in a simillar vein to Kenley’s look, FASHION people are SHEEP!!!!! They also call out the Alba conspiracy!

  26. 26
    skies
    Posted August 1, 2008 at 11:24 am

    Great recap as usual.
    It seems to me that this season of PR is a shadow of it’s former self. The designers are boring and try too hard to be original.
    Kenly’s dress was great if you want to make your hips look 3 sizes bigger.
    LeAnn’s dress was ok and more wearer friendly than most.
    The judges should have declaired a wash and noone wins.
    Sarah B. heads the WTF category of judges. Step away from the Botox Sarah. It’s not your friend.

  27. 27
    itchy
    Posted August 2, 2008 at 10:51 am

    Sarah Bernhardt really ought to sue her plastic surgeon. I’m assuming someone’s to blame for that mess. Not like she was all the attractive back in the day.

    I’ve only watched the previous season, so I’m not sure what all the fuss is about. There were some equally lame designs then too. Seemed like the whole season was designed to make a star of that fierce guy. The women are cuter this season, at least. Except for Stella.

    I find it entirely amusing to see just how many gay accents there possibly can be. It’s the funniest part of the show.

    Wish I had a gun so I could shoot Pleatherette. Although certainly he recognizes what an idiot he is…he probably started this bullshit years ago and now it’s his schtick, too late to stop.

    I like how he’s going head-to-head with that surfer idiot to see who can come up with the most idiotic catch-phrase of the season.

    Jeez, it’s almost like watching summer camp.

  28. 28
    sheyp
    Posted August 2, 2008 at 9:33 pm

    I have loved every season of PR, but this is really scraping the bottom of the barrel. So far I haven’t seen one thing that is new, exciting, creative, or interesting.

    Unfortunately I think several “designers” think that TALENT= saying idiotic things like “licious” and refering to themselves in the third person every 4 seconds. It’s really infuriating and a complete let down. Tim Gunn be ashamed. Be very ashamed. How do the judges keep a straight face?

    If any ONE of these reality wannabe’s gets even close to winning I will never watch this again. It will have totally lost any credibility (and interest) with me. Most of these people aren’t even real designers in my opinion. They should go on Big Brother or I Love New York. Oh wait….they don’t have as much class as those people do. Or taste. And if I have to listen to Whinah drone on anymore I will have to slit my wrists.

    I used to look foreward to each episode. Now it’s just….meh…if National Lampoon’s Vegas Vacation isn’t replaying.

    UGH. WORST EVAHHHH (channelling whinah). shut up you dried up old talentless bag. Suede says it’s a good idea. Suede belives that. And leatherface says that show is Vegaslicious. Holla at ya boi.

  29. 29
    sloane
    Posted August 4, 2008 at 12:17 pm

    I Love your recaps, it’s one of the reasons I watch PR. I have not registered to comment before but felt I had to today so I could express my surprise that you had nothing to say about Blayne and his I’m gonna eat you to Kenley. When I finally go a chance to watch this episode I couldn’t wait to see what you had to say about that. What’s Up??

  30. 30
    Anonymous
    Posted August 4, 2008 at 3:38 pm

    sorry bout that sloane. i didn’t miss that part, but i think i am just so over blayne working that hard to be a character. it’s kinda killing the show for me. so sometimes i just have to pretend he’s not there. i will give him extra attention this week, but know it’s because you registered. haha. thanks for reading! xo

  31. 31
    SomeBunnyHatesYou
    Posted August 13, 2008 at 3:39 pm

    I keep getting “Pleather” and Stella’s “Leatha” mixed up in my head. Ahhh!
    Just rename her “Leatha” already!

  32. 32
    flipit
    Posted August 13, 2008 at 9:11 pm

    Leatha it is!

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