Last week, there wasn’t an episode. Usually this would mean a night off and celebration, but I’m sorry. I was hungry for screaming queens and there was nothing to satisfy me!
All better.
I heard the reason it was a repeat last week was cuz Lifetime figured everyone would be watching male ice skating on the Olympics. LOL. Only this show would do that. Gay people are only ten percent of the population and we can’t be split up onto too many different channels.
Ten designers left!! Emilioth tellth uth that thith ith the time to pull out all the sthtops. Why don’t you pull out the sthtops? OR JUST STHTOP TALKING. Why is TV land trying to shove lispers down our throat? This show and now American Idol. Are speech impedimented people the next class of minorities or some shit? Cuz if lispers start getting full scholarships on our tax dollars I’m gonna be pithed.
Mila is sad that so many women have been kicked off. Riiiight. She says that it’s empowering that there are still three of them left. I don’t know how that’s empowering, but I’ll roll with it cuz I’ve had a week off. After all, she didn’t say “empowering to women”, she’s just got enough couth to not say “empowering to me.” The guys way outnumber them, and before Old Ham and his roomies leave for the day they do a four is enough cheer. By the end of the day, may four people return!! Jaysian says “three”. He either miscounted or doesn’t consider himself one of the guys. If this was, say, any other show, I would understand his insecurity, but he’s standing in between Ben and Flamingay, who’s dressed like the incredible Hulk’s Mom in her finest wintergreen church jacket.
Where do they even sell jackets in that color?
Happy St. Patricksgay. Let’s go out and drink some green queer. What am I talking about? I don’t know. Why am I still typing? Still don’t know. Shamcock.
Didn’t Heidi already wear this? Damn Heidi. Did you have a long night or what? You should keep a change of clothes at the office just in case. Pregnant slut.
In her defense, there are only so many dresses that can make you look like you’re standing behind a houseplant in 1953.
Stop trying to camouflage the kid. He’s gonna have a complex. Retired Adam Habert has immunity today. Unfortunately, that only extends to the boundaries of the show and doesn’t cover things like syphilis or bacterial vaginosis or general Peter Goth Pan syndrome. In other words, you’re safe, but you’re still forty and need antibiotics. Sorry, champ!
Heidi is super cryptic tonight, saying Tim will meet them to give them their “TOOOOLS” for the challenge. As obvious as this may seem (cuz I’ve seen commercials for it for two weeks), Straight Guy is confused and already slightly offended.
How am I supposed to make an entire dress out of penises? I’M STRAIGHT, K!?
Since the show is about tools, let’s go say hi to Kors at his store!!
Seriously, Flipit?
You have out done yourself a million times over today! Is there something in the Hot Pocket that stimulates the funny center?
Jorts?
…makes Frasier Crane look like Kevin James?
The Boneless Filet???
Genius.
I’m not done and i’m laughin’ outloud!!
Love, Michigan
So hysterical I can barely breathe! Thank you, thank you, thank you! You are a GENIUS!!!!
I loved that they kept cutting to SethAaron hammering away at his poor dress form. No words, just hammering… Too funny!
“Happy St. Patricksgay. Let’s go out and drink some green queer. What am I talking about? I don’t know. Why am I still typing? Still don’t know. Shamcock.” – SNORTLES!
Damn Flip, every week I cannot wait to stop doing what they pay me (and not enough I might add) to do and start reading your recap. I know it’s going to be the highlight of my day.
Mila and the color blocking is getting a little tired. She does put out interesting looks, but it reminds me of the draping guy who got reamed for draping week after week. But in this alternate universe (perhaps it’s her Romulan influence) she gets praised. I really thought Amy’s look was better and deserved second place.
Gay Nicolas Sario has done consistently good work. I think as the no-talents get winnowed out we will see him in the top more – he really deserved this one. I was terribly nervous when he said he was going to make garbage bags look like leather – we have heard that on these types of challenges in the past and they always end up looking like…garbage bags. Although he could have gone for the Glad Wall tie-in with the garbage bags….
Straight guy should not have painted his outfit. Not sure that would have helped much, but painting really did make it worse. As for Old Ham, he was lucky he had immunity in my opinion, his look sucked. I do think Emiloth should have gone home this week (although I would miss his egotistical, anti-social lisping rants). He sent a half naked model down the runway! And not in a good way! That showed poor planning (not buying enough material within the budget) AND poor execution. I thought maybe he would alter the top into a vest over something else, but I guess he didn’t buy anything else.
Flipit, I also thought that Flamingay’s look was not that bad. I really thought he would be in the middle, it did not look like it came from a hardware store. A bit boring, yes – but not as bad as some others imo.
This show was fun to watch, and I can only imagine the crying we would have had if Betsey Wetsey were still with us. Pagent kisses to you Flip, you are awesome! xooxo
I haven’t been watching the show but I read your recap, Mister. These were the parts that made me laugh:
1) Flamingay, who’s dressed like the incredible Hulk’s Mom in her finest wintergreen church jacket.
2) Oh wait. Sorry. That was an employee or something. This is the real Kors. He’s injected all the fat from his jowls into his face. He may have less wrinkles for now, but he looks like a volleyball that got left out in the sun. For decades
3) OK, Color Purple. You know what I had for lunch today? FINGERNAILS! WAAAHHHH. Then I shoplifted some Hot Pockets. Cuz it’s manlier than crying on Lifetime. Grow a pair, Jaysian!
4) Jaysian’s model is super supportive and says “I’ll Crisco if you need it.” If he had a nickel….well, he wouldn’t be crying about being poor. He’d be crying about the huge cut those stupid Coinstar things take
I really enjoyed reading it. I hope your Flamegay stays to the end.
Flipit -
You must be superhuman to get this written so quickly! I enjoyed last night’s episode but your take on it was hysterical! It seems like a much more talented group than last season.
Flamingay FTW!
OMG LOL’d at practically everything. Thanks so much for getting this up so quickly. I spit coffee on my screen when I read “It looks like baby corns from here, but it’s actually made out of giant keys.” It totally looked like baby corns!!! LOL. I thought Irana’s was good too, Flamingay’s wasn’t that bad either and I thought Emilioth thucked ath! Bye Straight Guy!
Thanks Flip, have a good weekend!
Straight Guy was robbed. Emilioth’s bikini sucked.
Great recap, Flippant!!
I.can’t.stop.laughing.! Thank you so much!
I thought the name of the HARDwear store was “SheMan”!
This ep reminded me of Stella the LeatherLady from 2008,for some reason..
I’d recomend “banging” Mrs. Toledo, also. Her forehead goes on for miles!
Flipit, you are sooo incredibly awesome, and may I wager to guess–feeling a bit “randy” are we . . . call me crazy, but every now and then I kinda get that feeling by some of the analogies . . . not that I can’t relate!!! Bwahahahah!!
So incredibly awesome as always, I agree with all the comments, you rock!!!
Anyhoo, I thought it was a travesty that Emolith wasn’t sent packing, with a swift kick from his model, while were at it!!!
Tim Gunn pointed out in his blog that E had no acthethory, and ya know what, he’s right!!! Even worse of an injustice–I hope they are ashamed!!! I say, “Washer Gate”
And even Barbie would have too much class to wear that pink-washer mess!!!
Liked the top three, esp the girls . . . super cool, love these challenges, but once again, more money more time you idiot producers!!!
Forgot to mention that guest judge looked like “Tammy” from RuPaul’s Drag Race, season 1.
Man, had to stop and tell you, that this is some fine recap writing – like artist like – and had to stop at “He makes Nils Crane sound like Kevin James,” – some seriously funny stuff.
Okay, finished reading. And it was Frasier, not Niles. No pressure – but that was one of the funniest recaps I have ever read on TVGASM, and well, so terrific.
I would’ve liked to see what Emelio would’ve made if he could’ve bought as much product as he wanted.
I thought Amy’s and that other guy whose name I can’t remember’s dresses were great, and that the immunity guy’s dress was bad.
Mila is going to make it to the end…. the judges seem to like a designer who seems to do their style, no matter the challenge and circumstances, even if the other designers don’t find that designer particularly creative (I’m thinking Laura Bennett, Uli Herzner, etc.).
Flamingay is my favorite this season, he is amusing, and actually seems genuinely trying to become a better designer, although the judges don’t seem to see it.
Last season, I definitely fell off, but Straight Guy getting gagged by Emilio made this season worth the price of admission.
Great recap.
I kinda liked Emilioth dress to be honest. I agree with Nina about the Barbie aesthetic, and I though there was something a bit cool going on. Straight Guy’s was just so uninspired – it was the sort of thing I could have conceived – plus he has achieved nothing of merit this entire season. I was worried he’d be like the old SG and coast to the end. Plus, admit it, you’d have been sad without all the lithping.
Theriouthly.
I understand why they kept Emilio, even though he put out a monstrosity.
His look at least had a POV. Jesse’s was a look we have seen in PR several times. And it was dirty looking.
The one who got robbed was Anthony. That dress in no way looked like it came from a hardware store. Isn’t that the whole point of this type of challenge?
BEN should’ve been in the bottom. Not only was it ill fitting & tortured, there was no design.
Amy got robbed too. Where is the Nina who practically bit Rami’s head off for constantly doing draping? Yet the judges let Mila continue to praise her b&w color blocking!
But no matter what, at least I laughed at your posts, Fliptit.
Son & I would stop laughing and then you’d come up with another good one and we’d start laughing all over again!
Great job!
That week off gave you time to marinate! Excellent recap. The kids want to know why mommy is giggling at the computer. Best not tell them.
MissParanoid, IMHO, Emilio’s bikini had no point of view and was tacky… he put washers on string and sent a model down the runway naked, how does that show any kind of creativity?
I have to defend Mila’s colorblocking. It is her design asthetic. And to me it is different from the draping guy because color blocking can be very difficult. You screw up the measurements/math and it looks like ass. Mistakes can be VERY obvious when you are doing colorblocking. Not so much for draping. Plus, you can create a lot of different looks with colorblocking. With draping, you are a bit more restrained in what you can do with it. (Or at least what that guy did with it!)
I thought Emiloth should have gone home too. I noticed there was no accessory plus that look was just terrible. But, let’s face it, the straight guy wasn’t going to win. He didn’t have the talent of some of the other people. So he was going to go eventually. Emilio is a bit more talented, in my opinion. This was a bad week for him but let’s see how he rebounds. I don’t think he will win it either.
Thanks for another hysterical recap, Flipit!!
Flip it, you are a snarky little angel sent down to earth, how do you do what you do? I live for these recaps.
Did you catch the part when Jaysian won and they cut to Mila? She looked like she was going to eat his head (only after she ran it up and down a few times on her washboard dress)
Seriously, that woman is gonna snap and reveal that she is actually Cruella Deville…
(cut to Mr. Burns Singing “See my Vest!”)
All she needs to do is color block her hair
