Project Runway: New York’s Finest?

On tonight’s episode of Project Runway, the designers team up to create works inspired by New York neighborhoods. Wait a minute. Haven’t we seen this challenge before? I swear we have. One of the designers was inspired by graffiti? Help me out here, Gasmi!

 

I’m coming up with nothing. I block out the seasons as soon as they’re over to retain my sanity. 

Before we get to tonight’s festivities, I’d like to take a moment to reflect one more time on one of last week’s STUNNING designs.

 

It’s horrifying and yet I can’t stop looking at it. 

We also see a clip from Models of the Runway that shows Flamingay picking Monique as his model, but leaves out the part where he tells her to make sure and keep her hair straight. That still annoys me.

No time to dwell on that though because it’s a brand new day and the designers are getting ready to face their next challenge.

 

Mirror, Mirror, on the wall……who’s the bangiest of them all? 

 

Not you, you old hag. 

Heidi meets the designers on the runway to tell them nothing as usual, although she does prove that she can do math when she says that half of them are gone. They’ll be meeting with Tim to get the details of their challenge.

 

Do you think pregnant Heidi feels taunted by super skinny Heidi? 

She does tell them that they’ll need to get into a New York state of mind. Flamingay thinks that’s a rather vague hint, so he’s going to wait until he has more details before he tries to flood his mind with unnecessary thoughts.

Tim is waiting for them in the workroom with Collier Strong, and that can only mean one thing. Extended L’Oreal commercial. Tim tells the designers they will be using New York City as the point of departure for their design. 

 

Ah, nothing like the smell of fresh urine in the air. Can’t wait to see how they capture that. 

They will be choosing one of four very distinct neighborhoods. Tim tells them these neighborhoods have been chosen because of their history, their cultural significance, and for their impact on fashion. They are: Chinatown, the East Village, the Upper East Side, and Harlem.

Emilioth giveth a little cheer for Harlem, and then tellth uth he needth to win thith challenge becauthe he’th from New York. If he doethn’t win, it will be a real dithappointment for him and hith people.

 

Oh Emilioth. Thay true to yourthelf. We know you can win thith for all of uth.  

Tim has MORE exciting news. They will be working in teams of two. Isn’t that super exciting designers? They’re not excited. I’m laughing my ass off thinking about possible pairings. Emilioth immediately prayth that he doethn’t get Mila. Mila tells us she is not a fan of working in teams. Well that’s not surprising considering the fact that she can’t even get her two eyes to work together.

Each pair will create two looks. A day look and a night look. Tim draws buttons to pick the team leaders, and they are: Flamingay, I-Ramy, Emilioth, and Jaysian. Flamingay picks Maya, I-Ramy picks Jonathan, Emilioth pickth Old Hambert, which leaves Jaysian stuck with Mila.

 

He responds by trying to kill himself with his tape measure. 

They reverse the picking order for choosing neighborhoods, so Jaysian gets to go first. He chooses the East Village. Emilioth chootheth Harlem, I-Ramy chooses the Upper East Side, and that leaves Flamingay with Chinatown.

In case you’re wondering why Collier Strong is standing there, he tells the designers he’s going to help them create a make up look that fully compliments and expands on their designs. Oh, and L’Oreal.

Tim gives them thirty minutes to go off and explore their neighborhoods and I wonder if that thirty minutes starts when they get there because some of those neighborhoods take longer to get to than others from where they are.

Old Hambert and Emilioth head off to Harlem. The show is sure to let us know when they’ve arrived there.

Emilioth tellth Old Hambert that Harlem ith about churcheth, liquor storeth, and fried chicken spotth. Hmmmm……with that logic I’ll expect to see a greasy, drunken nun on the runway. Sounds like we might have a winner!

Old Hambert tells us their styles are completely different which could be a complete disaster, or they could do really well together. Thanks for that, Old Hambert. The prevailing theme seems to be denim.

From Harlem, we head on down to Chinatown. Chinatown makes Maya think of structure. Flamingay too. Flamingay tells us that there are a shitload of people walking around Chinatown, the streets are really narrow, and everything is really colorful. And then something catches his eye. What is that?

 

No, it’s not some kinky Chinese sex toy, it’s duck, which I guess could be a sex toy if you’re really kinky, right? Ewwwww. 

Let’s get out of this kink and head on up to the Upper East Side where there are doormen, and stores you can’t walk into without the proper pedigree. Jonathan points out to I-Ramy that the architecture is all very stark and gray. Because rich people have cold, cold hearts. 

Meanwhile, Jaysian and Mila are down in the East Village, and they seem to be drawn to the graffiti which is making me think of the old version of this challenge again. It’s driving me crazy! I hope someone remembers what season it was.

Jaysian wants to do one look with a jacket, and another with a super elaborate pant. 

 

Sure looks like Mila’s on board with that idea!  

Over at mood there is fabric shopping. It’s just as exciting as it always is, so we’re going to skip on over to the workroom, okay?

There’s sketching, there’s talking, there’s cutting and sewing. Flamingay and Maya are creating a diamond fabric thingy that’s inspired by the paper dragons of Chinatown which actually looks like it could be pretty cool. 

Jaysian and Mila are practically ignoring each other which Jaysian translates to them working professionally. I guess that’s true to a certain extent. I mean, they could be screaming at each other instead of just trying to get their work done. 

Jonathan is worried. Both he and I-Ramy put tons and tons of detailing into their work. He concerned that by combining them, they may not finish. 

 

Which explains why he left the salon before his haircut was finished.  

Time for the make up consultation/L’Oreal commercial. I love how subtle they always are with these, don’t you?

Once we’ve got that out of the way, it’s time for Tim to check in with the designers. His first stop is with Emilioth and Old Hambert. He seems to like what they’re doing, and tells them to keep the urban edge going.

He moves on to Flamingay and Maya who tell them about their paper dragon inspired design for the evening look. Tim has some concern about fabric choice, but other than that, he seems to also like what they’re doing.

Time to head on over to Jaysian and Mila. Jaysian tells Tim about the pants he working on which have a pouf coming out of them right below the hip. Don’t these designers ever learn that no woman wants to wear pants that are going to make her hips look bigger? Tim brings that up to Jaysian, but he says the pouf is going to hit in just the right spot.

 

WTF??? Why is this mannequin’s pelvis labeled as collapsible shoulder?  

Tim goes over to see what I-Ramy and Jonathan are up to. He cautions them about over designing. He tells them it’s not a matter of how much work did they get done in what amount of time, it’s how good is the look? I love Tim.

Once Tim leaves, the designers are back at it, trying to get their shit together before the models come in for their fittings. In the blink of an eye, it’s time for the model fittings, and Jaysian tells Brittany he’s worried about not getting his stuff done. Exciting stuff.

The models leave, and there’s an hour and half left to the day. Mila is worried that Jaysian hasn’t even started on his top yet. Emilioth ith thuper happy that they’re not really working well together. He tellth uth he’th really a thuper nithe guy, but thith whole thing ith working out ethactly ath planned.

 

It’th Thupercalifragilithtikethpialidothiuoth!!! 

I-Ramy and Jonathan are both having timing issues, and they’re both really worried about finishing on time since they were hoping that one of them would get done early and be able to help the other. Doesn’t look like that’s going to happen. And with that, we’ve reached the end of the day.

Before they know it, it’s the next day and the designers head back to the workroom, some of them wondering if they’ll be able to finish. Others have different concerns. Flamingay is worried that Maya’s daytime look could end up looking too Grandmama.

 

I am worried that he will be mistaken for an Easter egg. 

Hair and makeup time!  And then, before you know it, there’s only thirty minutes left before the runway show. Mila is going to make sure the judges know what she did. Jaysian is worried that Mila will throw him under the bus. I-Ramy and Jonathan are still not done sewing.

For today’s runway show, Heidi has dressed herself as a psychedelic zebra.

Let’s meet the judges. Michael Kors is off refreshing his tan somewhere, so filling in for him this evening is Francisco Costa from Calvin Klein who looks disturbingly like Sid the Sloth.

 

Doncha think? 

There’s also Nina Garcia who was too lazy to use a curling iron today and decided instead to prop up her little hair flip on her shoulder.

 

Now she can’t move or her hair will be ruined. 

And lastly, actress/model, Molly Simms who has been in groundbreaking films such as Yes Man and Fired Up. She also recently broke up with Aaron Eckert.

 

So we all know her judgment is lacking. 

Time to start the show……

First up are Flamingay’s and Maya’s looks.

 

Now I know what I can do to recycle the paper chains my kid makes for the tree at Christmastime! 

Jaysian and Mila are up next and Jaysian’s pants are just as bad as I thought they’d be.

 

Although, I have to admit I actually like Mila’s look a lot; that jacket is pretty freaking awesome. 

Oh Lord. I-Ramy and Jonathan are next and I only wish that Kors were here as he is possibly the only person who could truly appreciate the tangelo outfit I-Ramy designed.

I don’t know what they were thinking. Neither one of these outfits looks like anything an Upper East Side woman would be caught dead in. Even the styling is off. Yup, these two are in BIG trouble. Without a doubt.

And finally, we have Old Hambert and Emilioth.

What’s up with that fucking hat?!?!? I actually like the rest of Old Hambert’s outfit, but the hat is, well, I’m at a loss for words on that one. It’s like a plaid tumor on her head. Emilioth’th dreth ith okay. I was worried that Old Eyes would end up flashing her old cooch in it. 

Heidi breaks it down for them. Jaysian/Mila and I-Ramy/Jonathan are the bottom two pairs. She sends them off so that the judges can talk to the top scoring designers first.

Once the losers have left, Heidi tells Emilioth and Old Hambert that she’s in love with both their pieces. She thinks they look impeccable, and that they also relate. Francisco the Sloth was a little concerned about the gown at first, thinking maybe it could be sexier or shorter, but in the end he thinks that both outfits are rather sophisticated. Heidi points out that you could always make the gown sexier by unzipping the zipper more.

 

Uh, Heidi? If that dress gets unzipped anymore we’ll be getting a glimpse of pubes!! 

Nina likes that Emilioth made Old Hambert incorporate color into his look, she thinks that Old Hambert sometimes goes a little overboard in the detailing and if he had taken some of it away, it would have enhanced the look.  Molly loved Old Hambert’s. Even the hat.

Heidi also asked how they liked working together. They loved it and think they really meshed.

Moving on over to Flamingay and Maya, and Flamingay tells the judges how distracted he was by the ducks hanging in windows. 

 

I don’t want to eat anything that looks like a vagina! Especially a gaping, burnt vagina. Gag me! 

He talks about the dragon lanterns as inspiration, and the pagoda also in the jacket. Nina thinks this was a great collaboration. She really loves all of Maya’s, with her only critique of Flamingay’s really being that she wishes he would have added some color.

Heidi can see the dragon, and she likes how it’s more subtle. Molly loves the day look more. Francisco the Sloth thinks the work is really beautiful and really well made. Flamingay says he really enjoyed working with Maya, and even though she seems quiet, she has no issue with standing up for herself.

 

Nina seems a little turned on by that. Watch out, Maya! 

Time for the crappy designers. I-Ramy and Jonathan are up first, and I-Ramy talks about the brick building that inspired the peachy tones of her outfit. Honey, that is not peachy. That is orangey. They also tell Heidi that they loved working together. They totally respect each other’s design sensibility,

Nina has a problem. Well, she has many, but her problem this time is with the day wear look. She doesn’t think it looks polished. Molly agrees. 

 

So much so that she’s flipping I-Ramy off! That’s not nice, Molly! 

Francisco the Sloth thinks that perhaps if it were a white shirt, with flats, and a narrow, straight leg…..

 

Completely different. That would be better. 

Heidi thinks it is quite ugly. She doesn’t hate the night time look as much, but she thinks it looks really busy. Francisco the Sloth sees more of the workmanship, and thinks it’s a little more successful. Nina loves the work in front, but she thinks the panels killed it.

Let’s go over to Jaysian and Mila. Nina loves the night time look, and she can see the lines of the inspiration. The day time look? Not so much. She thinks the top looks like a leotard and is not well made at all. Heidi says Brittany’s boobs are just sort of floating around in there, and we all know how Heidi is about floating boobs.

 

They scare me.

Francisco the Sloth thinks there’s something actually quite cool about the day look. He was dropped on his head many times as an infant. Molly thinks the tank is just, no.

What was it like working together?

 

Hee! 

Jaysian says they worked professionally, while Mila just nods. Considering the fact that they don’t get along, they worked well together. I sort of wish it had been a bloodbath; they’re always so much more fun to witness.

Heidi sends them away, so the judges can talk about them behind their backs. Nina was disappointed in I-Ramy’s look and says it makes her model look like an umbrella. An ugly orange umbrella. They like Jonathan’s better, but think it was overworked, and would have liked it without the panels.

They hate Jaysian’s tank top and don’t really like the pant either. They think it looks like Mila took over and was the leader; they see more of her influence in there rather than Jaysian’s.

They love both Maya’s and Flamingay’s outfits, they think the outfits were really well thought out, nice, and subtle. Old Hambert’s and Emilioth’th outfits they think have a great vibe, and Francisco thinks you can really tell they thought about the outfits going together, that they really tell a story with those zippers. 

The winner of this challenge is……..Emilioth! AND Old Hambert!

Old Hambert is excited that they both won, but also that they created Project Runway history by earning a double win. It’s something he can share with his great, great, great grandchildren someday.

Flamingay and Maya are safe, as are Mila and Jonathan. So it’s now down to I-Ramy and Jaysian. So who goes home? The guy that made a floating boobie leotard shirt and questionable pants, or the woman who made an umbrella shirt dress the color of Kors?

 

Awwwww…….. 

I really liked I-Ramy. I’m sad to see her leave. So with that, another designer is sent on her way, and we get closer and closer to Bryant park. What did you think, Gasmi? Did you think I-Ramy was the right choice to go, or would you have rather seen Jaysian get the boot? Does anyone like Old Hambert’s hat? And if you do, are you Scottish?

Next week the designers will get a chance to do something that every designer dreams about but seldom realizes.   Hmmmm…….owning their very own sweatshop?

Also next week, Flipit will return so you won’t have to wait as long for your recap! Hey, we can’t all be superman. Flipit, thanks for letting me step in this week, I had a blast! 

For those of you that watch it, I’m working on the Models of the Runway recap, and should have that up soon for you! Make sure you take some Vivarin before heading over that way!!

SWAK, PottyMouth