The Constant Gardeners

Project Runway

By EdHIll | Friday, February 3, 2006 | 12:43 pm | 71 Comments

pr-02-01-06i.jpgAnd then there were six. After Project Runways “dramatic� walk off last week, Zulema the Wicked Witch of the West (or should it be the Oily Witch of the West?) was sent packing with her gigantic funhouse glasses. And this just one week after winning a challenge. I guess it’s true what they say, one day you are EEN. And the next day you are out. If “they� is a smoking hot pregnant supermodel named Heidi, which “they� usually are.

Last weeks challenge was for me probably the most ingenious. Having them take a picture with an OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA, and then print out the pictures from the OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA, choose one and use it as their inspiration for making a dress. Is there anything an OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA can’t do? And all for the low, low price of $239.95 at Best Buy, where there are thousands of possibilities! Sorry, the whole deluge of reality show product placements has gotten me all mixed up. I’m just going to take an Advil and lie down for a while. Advil. Advanced medicine for pain.

Alas, no product placement in this weeks challenge. This week they decide to go retro, meaning harkening back to last season’s early challenges where they are forced to make a dress out of unusual items. The challenge is to design a garden dress. But not just any garden dress. An actual garden dress. As in, made from a garden. Get it? I hope next week they aren’t told to design a Poodle skirt, cuz that could get messy.The show starts on the Runway where our beautiful Heidi greets them all. Another interesting bit of trivia, our own Heidi Klum is soon going to be starring in a new German TV show called Germanys Next Top Model. It’ll be like Americas Next top Model, only it’ll be in German, have a host that’s not annoying as hell (sorry J-Unit) and hopefully lots of nudity. Let’s hope Fox Reality can get the rights to it, along with the European Big Brothers which,from what I hear, are nothing but nonstop orgies.

Another interesting bit of Runway news is in today’s Variety. Due to the huge ratings this season is getting based entirely upon the word of mouth generated by the witty recaps at TvGasm.com, Bravo has ordered a one-hour reunion special to air one week before the finale on March 1st. Now I know what some of you may be thinking, “Reunion special? Big whoop. Those suck.� Not Project Runways reunion specials my friend. Last seasons 1 hour reunion show was one of the most riveting hours of TV I’ve ever seen. With model Morganza refusing to appear, Vanessa having a meltdown knocking over her wine glass and walking out after being viciously attacked by the other cast mates and Kevin sweating bullets and fidgeting about when Wendy accused him of vandalizing her kids picture. It was amazing television.

Back on the runway Heidi lets them know that this weeks challenge is about designing a garden party dress. I’d now just like to say that living in the tri-state area I’ve always been slightly annoyed at the NY based reality shows seasonal shifts from production to air time. I found it odd watching Tommy Hilfiger’s The Cut in July while they all walked through giant snow drifts along Manhattan streets. It was also annoying because it sucked, but at least we had sg-dubs recaps to keep us watching. The same thing here where they are designing a “garden dressâ€? in February. However since this is a depressingly cold and bleak month of the year, I am all for a summer dress competition.

In explaining the challenge of the “garden dress�, Heidi leaves out the part about it actually being made from a garden. Oh no, delicious puns like that must be savored and revealed at just the right time. Besides, we have some serious business to take care of first. It’s time to get rid of one of the models. After Zulema’s unconscionable act of stealing Tarah away from Nick, an act which almost killed him, it’s left to last week’s winner Daniel to choose between his model Rebecca and Tarah. This is a tough one because Tarah has become a big favorite with everyone for her beautiful looks and fierce walk that has pop. All of us are holding out hope that he will keep Tarah, but Daniel in keeping with the whole “loyalty� thing this season, goes with Rebecca and Tarah is gone. Even after she’s gone, Zulema can still hurt us.

The loss of Tarah is of course too much for Nick to bear, but let’s face it, not having exact change when buying gum is too much for Nick to bear. The man is not exactly cut from the Steve Mcqueen mold. Unless you cut out the “Steveâ€? and “Mcâ€? parts. “That one really hit me hard” he says, doing that welled up “I’m not gonna cry..I’m not gonna cryâ€? look I get every year at the Oscars when they do the “In Remembranceâ€? montage (dammit Wendi Jo Sperber, you left us too soon!).

Later as the men go back to the apartment they all decide to celebrate the fact that out of the final six people left, the men are in at least 4 of those spots. Another interesting bit of trivia, the percentage of people left who like to have sex with men is a whopping 100%. Part of their celebration is to go to the “Penthouseâ€? which turns out to be…. just a roof. Somewhere Trump cries. As they are laughing and having a good time we here Nick tell us that underneath all the fun “I think we sort of know that we are each others competition”. Nick’s a regular Sherlock Holmes.

pr-02-01-06g.jpgThe next morning at 6 AM sharp Tim makes an unprecedented appearance knocking on the contestant’s apartment doors. “Get ready in five minutes. We are going on a field trip.� he tells them. As they walk down the street we hear them all speculate as to where this field trip will be taking them. They all think it will be something fabulous. Nick is thinking they are going to some fabulous upper west side garden party with diamond encrusted toilet seats and caviar fountains. Andrae thinks it will be Tavern on the Green. Have they seen this show? Their field trips are either to product placement department stores (Toys R Us, Banana Republic) or a fabric store in midtown. This is Bravo’s Project Runway not NBC’s Martha Stewart Apprentice. Don’t expect Alexis Stewart to be making you a chicken salad sandwich on a boat trip in Maine people. The best you’ll get is a roast Beef sandwich with Jay at Arby’s. and you could do worse, cuz that’s a damn fine sandwich.

Well, as expected instead of a glamorous garden party we are simply taken to a flower store. Or the flower district to be more precise. They will be given 100 dollars and one hour to get what they need to create a “gardenâ€? dress. Andrae is done in 30 minutes, bragging bragging that he used to work in a florist shop when he was younger so he doesn’t feel that he’s in the “deep end of the swimming pool”. Daniel V picks some beautiful violet and blue flowers that would look good if he could pull it off. Let’s hope he listened to Tim’s Advice and keep his momentum going. When they showed Chloe picking out her materials, I yelled out “Stay away from blue flowers!â€? in my apartment to no one in particular, except maybe shi-shi, my darling lapse also. Thankfully she didn’t, she actually went with a pretty yellowish green leaf that she was planning on making into a floral pattern. So far I think this is shaping up to be an interesting challenge. Kara doesn’t know what to do. I’m beginning to think Kara is South African for “Idiot”. Still high from realizing that her useless ass hasn’t been sent packing she looks to be buying a bunch of shrubs. Don’t ask for whom the bell tolls Kara. It tolls for thee.

pr-02-01-06f.jpgWell it’s back to the workroom, but it wouldn’t be an episode if Tim didn’t drop a bomb on them. The winner of this weeks challenge, he tells us, will be exempt from elimination in the next round. This gets everyone jazzed up. But no one more than Santino. “It would be great to win first place, because then I could do something really offensive for the next challenge and not be penalized for it.” Hear that people? So far he thinks he’s been inoffensive. I now want Santino to win. Kara says she has to pull out all the stops and its do or die time. There isn’t a metaphor this girl can’t mix.

Daniel is using ferns and flowers surrounding the bust line. It’s not looking to bad. Andrae picks things that he thinks would “die beautifully�, kind of like Jan Michael Vincents career. He says that he is designing a “topiary dres�. Now I don’t know much about fashion. I shop at the Old Navy. To me performance fleece is haut couture. But from what Andrae is making I can only assume that a topiary dress means “big green tank�.

Kara is braiding. She has a big pile of green and she tells us that “all I wants to do is smoke itâ€?. I don’t get it. Why would she want to smoke a ficus plant? Wouldn’t that make her sick? Oh wait… I get it. She was talking about the mary-jawana! Another thing I’ve noticed about Kara is she over enunciates things so much her lips take on a life of their own. She sounds like Giada De LAurentis when she says spa-GHET-ii
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For those like me who are fashion amateurs, I’d just like to take a moment to point out what couture means; “The highest levels of fashion design, usually features designs that are only affordable to the very wealthyâ€?. See? Now you’ve learned something.

No sooner are they to work than w get our first visit by Tim. As he walks around the room he stops first at Chloe’s station. She is gluing tiny petals onto a huge skirt and is deluded into thinking she will have enough time. Tim tries to warn her that her idea is good but very ambitious. She is certain she can finish it. Take it from a former art major, you never have enough time. As he goes around the room he is actually rather gentle with everyone. No one is standing out as a big problem. Not even Kara. The only real problem is materials. Since they are all made of flowers everyone might not have enough to cover their models. Did I tell you this was my favorite episode?

pr-02-01-06a.jpgOnce Tim goes around the room he realizes there is no Andrae. “Where’s Andrae?� he yells in his dulcet tones. Andrae is outside with his dress and when Tim goes to look in on him and his astroturf monstrosity Santino starts up with his dead on Tim Gunn impression. It’s actually pretty funny. “Where’s Andrae? Carry on!�

LAter things get all serious “Think “a very special episode of Different Strokes� with Nancy Reagan serious. Daniel talks about the time he came out to his parents. He only did it just recently. Nick also reminisces about his times in the closet, saying for years he had the rent a dates in high school and his parents never knew. Really? Nicks parents didn’t know he was gay? That’s like me saying I didn’t know Denzel Washington was black. I need to meet Nicks family. There are some people in Nigeria who need their help opening an offshore account to move 12 million dollars into it and if they help they can get 5 percent of that money! Daniel says that his ex girlfriend doesn’t even know that he’s gay. Well, she knows now. And if she’s reading this recap. Call me, we can talk. I’ll help you through this.

Once the confessional time is over Daniel asks Santino to give them another round of Tim impersonations. And Santino is on fire. He creates a scenario where Andrae and Tim are dating and get into an argument at Red Lobster. I don’t know what’s funnier, the idea of Andrae and Tim dating, or watching Tim eat at Red Lobster, plastic bib and all.

Speaking of which, Tim makes another visit later in the night to check on everyone’s progress. When he asks how Kara is doing she is flustered and says she has no idea where she is going with her piece. Tim mentions that it’s around ten at night and she better come up with an idea soon. Kara says that it is all coming together organically and she will eventually come up with something. Maybe a few tokes of some nice ganga would help her get all creative. Then put on some Phish and twirl around for a while. After that, make a run to Taco Bell for some Santa Fe Gordita’s.

Daniels piece meanwhile, while looking good, may not have enough material to finish, Chloe’s dress is not even half finished and she’s running out of time. When Tim goes over to Andraes workspace he sees the floor covered in moss. “Look at this flotsam and jetsum!â€? he exclaims. Oh Tim, you make it sound so dirty. Say it again! Say flotsam again!

When Tim goes to check out Santino at his workstation he asks him to do his impression. A HA! The jig is up. Santino actually gets embarrassed and all red. As disturbing as Santino is, watching him with an ear to ear grin is even worse. He’s got horrible teeth that would put any British person to shame. He must floss with coaxial cable. Everyone is enjoying a good laugh including Tim. And then it hits me. Tim looks like a gay Steve Martin.

The next morning they have only hours to finish before the models come in for the fitting. Everyone is frantically gluing leaves on things. Chloe has resorted to gluing her leaves on chunks at a time and ending up with huge gaps in her dress. “I’m not gonna blame anybody, I’m just out of time.â€? She says. How brave of you.

Soon the models show up and its time for a treat. That’s right, models with big bushes! It’s funny watching them cram them into these huge hedges with straps. Chloe has a stroke of genius and puts a leaf cap on my girl Grace. Sure it covers up her beautiful red hair, but it accentuates her huge schnozz, which I find oddly attractive.

Well with the models bushes trimmed its time for the runway. Heidi shows up in her Roman Toga outfit and tells everyone assembled that this challenge is all about innovation. But first lets meet our judges! The fabulous Michael Kors, Nina Garcia fashion editor of Elle magazine, and two dudes named Mark Badgley and James Mischka who I think work for the Parks Department or something.

As we watch the walk off all of them look pretty good except for Andrae’s green tank, but Andrae is oblivious to how bad it is. He thinks it’s cute and chic. Well, so is a German panzershrek so maybe he’s not completely off.

After the walkoff, Heidi brings them all out onto the runway. First off, everyone is surprised that no one used flowers. It’s a sea of green leaves up there. Heidi was expecting to see all sorts of roses on everything. It looks like everyone saw Austin Scarletts corn husk mishap last season and didn’t want to get anything too perishable for the dress.

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Galadriel the elf passes the ring to Frodo…

Nicks dress they say is too uniformly green. There wasn’t enough color. It wasn’t sophisticated enough for them. The judges like “sophisticatedâ€? dresses made out of leaves and stems. They like Chloe’s and Kara’s, and they love Daniels. Even Santino does fairly well. But they save their worst criticisms for Andrae. It doesn’t fit her well and it looks like a big green doormat. Michael says its not “joyousâ€?. Santinos are too shiny. He sprayed them with shellaq. Nina says it looks too plastic and it robs it of its natural feeling. “I have no problem with it being shiny.â€? says Heidi, to which Michael Kors responds “because you’re German!” What the hell does that mean? Germans like shiny things? I think Michael Kors is having a mini stroke. Next hell be screaming things like “Bumble bee popcorn turns on the faucet. Not too much gravy! Stop the elevator!â€? and Kara would just nod approvingly and talk about how things are inviting and not inviting all at the same time.
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When the contestants are ushered offstage its time for the judges to confer. “It’s hard to make leaves look vulgar, but there is a little bit of vulgarity in everything he does.� Michael says about Nicks dress. If you think that’s bad, wait until next weeks challenge when they have to make a dress made entirely of cock rings.

Soon enough they bring everyone out. Chloe, Kara and Santino are OK and sent backstage. The winner is Daniel, who has now become an unstoppable force. He is like Steven Seagal in Under Siege 2.

This leaves us with Nick and Andrae. I haven’t seen two more nervous gay men since the premiere of Battleship Earth. I have absolutely no idea what that joke means, but it made me laugh so I left it in. If anyone can figure it out let me know. And the loser this week is….Andrae. Which is too bad because I normally like his stuff. And the whole thing is made worse because he barely even cries. I mean after his week 2 meltdown I was expecting snot to be rolling down his face and him peeing his pants. But no he remans fairly composed and Heidi waddles on up, gives him his auf wiedersehen and tells him that its time to make like a tree and leave. Hey-OOOOOHH!

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TOGA! TOGA!

So now there’s only five left and Santino is still alive. What did everyone else think? Are they upset Andrae’s gone?

About

71 Comments

  1. 1
    jash
    Posted February 3, 2006 at 1:06 pm

    i thought nick should have been out over andre, yes indeedy.

    and shut up nina about the stupid flowers, NO ONE CARES. plus like tim gunn said on his blog, its as though the judges didnt realize you cant buy many flowers for only $100!

    i loved chloe’s dress, and thought it looked most like a dress-but daniels was again very innovative and interesting. plus he used FLOWERS. haha

  2. 2
    ruplub
    Posted February 3, 2006 at 1:08 pm

    I would love to have dinner with Tim and Andrae at Red Lobster with EdHill.

  3. 3
    Lizardqueen
    Posted February 3, 2006 at 1:16 pm

    EdHill, I was so gonna break up with you and turn my cyber affection elsewhere (I know you didn’t know we were an item. That’s not the point…) but I’ve fallen back under your spell with this one. This was the best episode yet. It is so sad to me that anyone had to go. All of those dresses, including Andre’s were beautiful and satisfied the challenge. I was hoping Kara would finally win one of these as she is really turning into Lydia the fishmonger. Someone else sucks just a wee bit more than her each week. This time she was a front runner.
    Santino’s Tim and Andre tale was priceless. I could listen to him do that all day.
    WTF on the Marie Antoinette judges? “I was expecting more flowers.” These rich beeotches obviously don’t know or care what flowers cost. One hundred dollars at a florist is nothing. That’s another reason the dresses were so amazing.
    Edhill, did you know you can put Heidi saying “Are you een, or owt?” on your cellphone ringer? It’s is so stinkin’ funny. Her voice on the intro is so bad.

  4. 4
    southerngal
    Posted February 3, 2006 at 1:17 pm

    Great recap, EdHill.

    Auuunnnndrae may have stayed slightly composed while saying good-bye to Heidi, but his flailing of the arms when he ran behind the screen was absolutely hilarious. You just know he runs like that everywhere.

    Time for Kara to go. She did okay this week but she’s definitely not up to the standards of Chloe, Daniel, etc.

    Can’t wait for the reunion!

  5. 5
    ruplub
    Posted February 3, 2006 at 1:17 pm

    Tim reminds me of my studio professor in college. I think that’s why I have a non-sexual crush on him.

    BTW, EdHill, you didn’t mention Andrae’s “girly” run off the stage. I’m a girl and I run manlier than him!

  6. 6
    Lizardqueen
    Posted February 3, 2006 at 1:20 pm

    Michael Kors reminds me of Alan Sues from Laugh In. Can some clever person do a side by side of this?

  7. 7
    franso2
    Posted February 3, 2006 at 1:31 pm

    I was waiting for a “My Dinner with Andre” pun.

  8. 8
    OD-TV
    Posted February 3, 2006 at 1:32 pm

    I was completly shocked that Kara pulled that dress out of her ass at the last minute. I thought she would go this week. Hilarious recap. I had to rewind Andrae’s exit many times. He looked like a 12 year old girl runnung for mommy.

  9. 9
    juddfan
    Posted February 3, 2006 at 1:51 pm

    I’d love to join Kara in the ficus smoking, what does it say about me that that comment made me like her more!? Guess she pulled it out this time, nicely done, I thought.

    I did think the moss dress was hideous from the get go, but the others were lovely. I know I would have been Chloe, gluing till my fingers fell off, I was glad they gave them more time.

    A gay Steve Martin (despite the commercials for the pink panther) Hubba-hubba–Thank you Edhill for a hot, hot thought!!!!!

    LOVED the story by Santino–good for him for having something fun that makes me root for him not to go . . . who’da thunk!?

    Lastly, “Bumble bee popcorn turns on the faucet. Not too much gravy! Stop the elevator!â€?–Is that before or after toking on the ficus!!! Another classic–thanks for the re-cap!

  10. 10
    Leah3t
    Posted February 3, 2006 at 1:54 pm

    Ed, this was your greatest recap yet. Even funnier than the making of the band one where hte lady threw her kid on the ground. You must have remembered how i love me some lord of the rings jokes.

    I was shocked that Kara’s dress came out as well as it did. I also had to give her props for helping chloe.

    Friday night….i’m goin over to the 42nd street red lobster and look for my boyz tim and andre.

    (and heidi- what were you wearing darling? you’re pregnant, not parachuting!)

  11. 11
    chronic
    Posted February 3, 2006 at 1:56 pm

    LQ, http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v441/palladio22/2.jpg

    Best I could do, alls I got is “Paint”. Still there is definitely some resemblance.

  12. 12
    RedRainbow
    Posted February 3, 2006 at 2:03 pm

    Sad to see Andrae gone, he was not only entertaining to watch, he also made pretty interesting clothing. No doubt though his sod dress was the least attractive of the bunch. Oh well, maybe he can patch his lawn with it.

    Sorry to see Tarah go too. Even gone, Zulema sucks.

    Not a Kara fan at all, but she was really smart choosing those tall grasses, or whatever they were, to braid and use for strapping. Still hope she is the next one gone though, I just can’t feel any love for her and I don’t really know why exactly, it just IS.

    Shame Santino didn’t win this one, I sooo would have liked to see what he came up with having immunity!

    Oh and Yay for the one hour reunion!

  13. 13
    zztop
    Posted February 3, 2006 at 2:04 pm

    “He thinks it’s cute and sheek”

    its chic actually

  14. 14
    Lizardqueen
    Posted February 3, 2006 at 2:19 pm

    Holy shit chronic, that’s so great! But I was thinking Michael Kors and Alan Sues. This is just as good. If Elton John and Alan Sues had a love child, it would be Michael Kors.

    Yes Leah3t, Heidi’s dress was awful. I thought part of it accidentally got tucked into her undies after a potty break.

  15. 15
    jjsquishy
    Posted February 3, 2006 at 2:22 pm

    Does Daniel’s nose weird anyone else out, in that Owen Wilson-esque way?

    I cannot stand Nina Garcia, she is simply a bad judge who holds grudges and her face always looks like she just smelled shit or something.

    I think Heidi can do NO WRONG … she’s amazing! BTW … did anyone hear about her telling one of the aspiring models on her new show that shes too fat to model, or something like that. Seems a little hard to believe, but you never know … that business can be brutal.

  16. 16
    Tati
    Posted February 3, 2006 at 2:22 pm

    Didn’t want to see Andrae go—I usually like Nick but I thought his dress was worse this time. Also, aftr last wk’s episode whn Nick went on & on abt his model theft, i was getting fed up w/ his drama.

    Santino’s impressions were hilarious & dead on as mentioned. I like that Tim was such a good sport about it, even seem amused.

    Ques: I’ve always thot the Bible belt affects predominantly Southern states so I was curious whn Dan said that ‘he grew up in Michigan, the Bible belt’—anyone know?

  17. 17
    USNRNPage
    Posted February 3, 2006 at 2:29 pm

    I thought everyone did amazing on the challenge. And I did think Kara’s dress should have won.

    When Tim told them that they only had $100 to spend. I thought, how can anyone purchase enough flowers in NY with that amount of money?

    After reading Tim Gunns blog, he obviously agrees, and was put off by the judges constant mention of the lack of flowers.

    And wanted to comment to the judges. “You can’t purchase the Tournament of Roses for $100!”
    He also loved Andrae’s dress, and I loved his blog comment saying. “Andrae be proud of your fine showing, and see you at Red Lobster.”

    I really felt Daniel, Nick and Andrae would be the final three.

    The constant flipping of the winners and dark horses is what makes this show so exciting.

  18. 18
    jash
    Posted February 3, 2006 at 2:35 pm

    “DANE-juh, no tress-pah-seen.”

    haha

  19. 19
    juddfan
    Posted February 3, 2006 at 2:36 pm

    How I love you LQ–I thought part of it accidentally got tucked into her undies after a potty break.

    I’m still laughing!!!!

    Great job on the comp Chronic!!!

  20. 20
    juddfan
    Posted February 3, 2006 at 2:38 pm

    Forgot to mention Oily Witch of the West–Guess I’ll get you my pretty was for Tarah this time : (

  21. 21
    RedRainbow
    Posted February 3, 2006 at 2:44 pm

    jjsquishy – I wish Grace was Daniel’s model, they’d really make a stand out pair. Imagine them face to face.

    jash – I don’t know why but that made me laugh.

  22. 22
    Lizardqueen
    Posted February 3, 2006 at 2:58 pm

    I think Tim Gunn can do no wrong. On the site he mentioned waking the designers up at 6 and said something like “I had already been up for hours.” The man doesn’t even need to sleep! His voice is wondrous, his enunciation is flawless, his look is impeccable. So what do you think? He wakes up at 3, orders an espresso enema, does a few yoga postures, reads the Wall Street Journal?

    Also, I’m going to organize my own tri-state TVgasm gathering. To reward Daniel F. for so many wins I’m calling it “It’s a Mother F***ing Cocktail Hour”. Any parties who are interested or have suggestions should e-mail me. Am I allowed to post my e-mail? Let me get back to you on that. J-Unit, can you advise?

  23. 23
    Tati
    Posted February 3, 2006 at 2:59 pm

    RedRainbow & jash, hilarious! did that make u laugh b/c she said it a million times, in exactly the way jash spelled it??!! she was crazy with that theme, i saw the repeat again the other day—she even told the hairstylists to make the model look’s say ‘danger, no trespassin’ (WTF?!)

  24. 24
    RumDog
    Posted February 3, 2006 at 3:20 pm

    After reading the following, I nearly shat myself:

    “Bumble bee popcorn turns on the faucet. Not too much gravy! Stop the elevator!â€?

    well played, EdHill…well played.

  25. 25
    chronic
    Posted February 3, 2006 at 4:09 pm

    Oooops! Hm, I guess I started off looking for the Sues pic, and then when I came across a good pic (not many), my mind just automatically switched gears. Seriously who the hell else can open their eyes that big.

    Might give it another go later.

  26. 26
    juddfan
    Posted February 3, 2006 at 4:26 pm

    I’m in LA, LQ–will that be close enough?

  27. 27
    TinkerbellAPixie
    Posted February 3, 2006 at 4:39 pm

    LOVE that you worked in an Oscar Nom as the title!

    “I have no problem with it being shiny.â€? says Heidi, to which Michael Kors responds “because you’re German!” What the hell does that mean? Germans like shiny things? I could be wrong but I think that was a dig on the ole German shiny vinyl S&M fashions.
    Surprised that you with your cockring reference wouldn’t get the S&M Reference…tsk tsk Ed, you’re slippin. Maybe LQ can help refresh your memory. ;)

    Speaky of shiny and wet looking – is anyone else sick of that too tight, too wet, too greasy, pulled back hair of Kara’s?

  28. 28
    ceenee
    Posted February 3, 2006 at 5:04 pm

    #27: Yes, I am tired of Kara’s asymmetrical bun week after week, but what bothers me more are her square teeth. I wish I could find the shot of her smiling in this week’s episode that made me CRINGE, so I could share the pain with you all

  29. 29
    Lizardqueen
    Posted February 3, 2006 at 6:46 pm

    “Designers, look out for Andre. He’s our little lamb.”
    http://santinorice.com/uploaded_images/breakinbread_web.jpg

  30. 30
    anonym.
    Posted February 3, 2006 at 6:55 pm

    jjsquishy- i agree with you about not liking nina garcia..she always has that “i’m in a f***ing magazine, don’t cross me, bitch” smirk on her face.

    sad to see andrae go, but his dress was not well-fitting. if he formed it more to his model’s body, it would have almost looked like a cute tweed dress. kara’s was good, daniel’s was adorable, chloe’s was wearable, and nick and santino fell short again.
    nick now seems to me more of a celebrity designer than a banana republic designer. he wants to create gowns for the stars, not working -women’s plaid, cropped, knit tops.
    my prediction: daniel, chloe, and nick will make it to the runway.
    who izze out in the next challenge? my bets are on kara

  31. 31
    TinkerbellAPixie
    Posted February 3, 2006 at 7:24 pm

    Oh LQ – thanks for my new wallpaper!

  32. 32
    bowgn
    Posted February 3, 2006 at 7:33 pm

    I’ve been lurking around here since the beginning of PR and I can’t tell you how much I laugh when I read the recaps. So thanks to all.

    Did anyone hear the ridiculous “directions” Kara gave her model “Tell them the makeup should be Park Avenue fresh NOT Park Avenue stuff.” ???

  33. 33
    gillian
    Posted February 3, 2006 at 8:09 pm

    Ok…so Santino has really grown on me. The whole Tim Gunn/Andrae/Red Lobster schtick was absolutely hilarious. I want an entire show of him doing just that.

    LQ…wonderful image…thanks for the link.

    I totally think that MK was referring to the whole percieved German obsession with everying kinky with the shiney comment.

    For the most part I think the whole judging panel always thinks they are too important and knowledgeable to possibly be in the wrong. They have no reality meter.

    Best recap I’ve read in a while. Thanks.

  34. 34
    Keyser Soze
    Posted February 3, 2006 at 8:33 pm

    I loved all the outfits. Even Santino’s wasn’t that bad. I thought Nick should’ve gone though, because his outfit was more party than garden party. As boring as I think Kara has been up to this point, I think she should have won this one. Or Chloe. Daniel left dress straps showing with nothing on them. I thought that was against the rules?

    WTF was Heidi wearing? That dress is a mess.

    Great recap EdHill!

  35. 35
    chronic
    Posted February 3, 2006 at 9:19 pm

    OK, I got lazy and just stuck Kors on the end. Good call LQ, they do look alike. Not the best pic, as all the ones I could find of Alan Sues, he’s pulling an Andrae face.

    http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v441/palladio22/3.jpg

    Only just had the lingerie episode up here in Canada. There’s no way I’m not reading the recaps, it’s just not the same :-(

  36. 36
    derder
    Posted February 3, 2006 at 9:38 pm

    Hey you guys-
    I don’t watch this show (and apparently i’m missing out). But I was browsing thru blogs tonight and found this for all of you die hards. I don’t know if it’s any good as I didn’t really read it. But just thought you might like to know.

    http://bloggingprojectrunway.blogspot.com/

  37. 37
    PixieGal
    Posted February 3, 2006 at 11:38 pm

    “Bumble bee popcorn turns on the faucet. Not too much gravy! Stop the elevator!â€?–Greatest three “sentences” ever. Nearly pissed myself reading that bit.

    EdHill: Nearly had a panic attack when you said you didn’t know who Badgely&Mischka were. And no one else has commented…which makes me assume no one else knows who they are either. They are like, super famous designers who do a lot of couture wedding dresses and make gorgeous long gowns with brilliant patterns.

    They probably had them on because of the couture thing and because they do stuff with a lot of florals. Or because they could get them that week and knew that every gay male watching would have a mangasm.

    Anyway, my dear Tarah has left and now Andre’s adorable model is going to go as well…*sigh* more of the marshmallow to come.

  38. 38
    copygodd
    Posted February 3, 2006 at 11:50 pm

    great recap. gravy jokes never get old!

    from the bravo site, here’s santino doing tim doing “closer” by nin.

  39. 39
    jelodi97
    Posted February 4, 2006 at 5:03 am

    I’m amazed Kara is still EEN. She’s so annoying.

    I have a feeling that next episode will have Santino out. They showed a preview and Kara was sobbing on either Nick or Daniel saying “I should have said more”. She is such a psycho.

    ‘Shat’ Rumdog? Thank you for not saying ‘shitted’. ‘Shitted’ is so pedestrian.

  40. 40
    TinkerbellAPixie
    Posted February 4, 2006 at 7:33 am

    #37 – Of course we know Badgely&Mischka – but Ed was making a joke on them – which is what Ed does. And why we love him.

  41. 41
    ceenee
    Posted February 4, 2006 at 8:50 am

    Somehow Kara managed to yank this one out in the end; pehaps she knew she was in DAYNGAH of getting eliminated… it reminds me of when Wendy Pepper won the Access Hollywood challenge and wound up in the top 3. I will be horrified if Kara makes it to Fashion Week

  42. 42
    mspixiechick
    Posted February 4, 2006 at 9:37 am

    Did anyone else think Andrae’s model looked like she was allergic to her dress? Her eyes seemed so watery and I kept expecting her to sneeze. Andrae’s girly run after he was out made me laugh, mostly because my sister runs the same way!

  43. 43
    Aries
    Posted February 4, 2006 at 11:24 am

    I haven’t liked Santino but he redeemed himself in my eyes with his Michael Kors impression during the ice skating dress challenge (“it looks like a baboon’s ass”). But I became a Santino fan during this episode with his Tim & Andrae & Red Lobster story. Anyone who could come up with something that twisted is someone I could hang with.

    I knew Andrae was gone as soon as he said that he wasn’t leaving. I’ve finally watched enough reality tv to catch on to all the editors’ tricks. Even without the foreshadowing I knew Andrae was gone because his dress was just plain fugly. Michael Kors was dead on when he said it looked like a doormat. I’ll miss Andrae’s histrionics but his dress was clearly the worst.

  44. 44
    Bobbie
    Posted February 4, 2006 at 12:21 pm

    As to why your Battleship Earth joke is so funny, Ed, darling: It plays off the deepest essential conflict within the gay dynamic: the itty, bitty se(a)men fellows in opposition to the Mother-Earth-Goddess.

    While we all know that Andrae’s fit was off, ya gotta acknowledge his vision captured the chic urban WASP message the term “garden party” evokes. Think Breakfast at Tiffany’s, right? He was robbed.

  45. 45
    aeb
    Posted February 4, 2006 at 12:30 pm

    1. nick was talking about how HE was a rent-a-date because he could dress well and dance (i.e. everyone took him to dances). i’m not sure if you got that and wanted to make a joke or not.

    2. my top three have changed, i think… sadly, because i love nick and so want him to win. now i think chloe, daniel v, santino (and santino will definitely show at fashion week as the decoy if not).
    but i really think nick isn’t up because he did that dress for brenda strong for the SAG awards.

    3. i love nick. love him.

  46. 46
    KatiesHole
    Posted February 4, 2006 at 2:17 pm

    No cooter mentions again, EdHill?

    I didn’t think Andrae’s was that bad, he got screwed. They should of dumped Kara, just based on her past fashion abominations and losing the barbie hat fiasco.

    I think Andrae was a doll, one that cries a lot and has weird outbursts, but a doll nonetheless!

    Santino still looks smelly, like someone else said, bad chinese food. His Tim impression are funny though. So glad ZuScary was thrown off.

    Is it me, or does Nick make the same dress over and over? His explanations are funny.

    I continue to hate Nina and her overly affected accent. I suspect that she is a nice jewish girl from Long Island, named Nona Schwartz, masquerading as a fierce ruling fashionista, from Bulgaria, or wherever the f*ck she claims she’s from! What a big pile of BS she’s trying to sell!

    I think Daniel will win this one.

    KH

  47. 47
    criscogirl
    Posted February 4, 2006 at 4:43 pm

    Andrae was by far my favorite reality television star EVER. Sad to see him go. I really think they should have let Nick go because they both had equally poor showings this week and at least in my opinion Nick has had an overall poorer showing throughout the process. I really felt like Kara was ridiculously lucky this week because she is by far the weakest one left.

  48. 48
    TinkerbellAPixie
    Posted February 4, 2006 at 8:29 pm

    Did anyone else notice that at the very end of the previews for next week’s ep – Santino looks like he’s shaved off his bin laden?

  49. 49
    heehaw
    Posted February 5, 2006 at 2:52 am

    Andrae’s dress looked like a bullet proof vest made out of lawn trimmings. he had to know it was a piece of crap. i think michael kors would give daniel a bj in a heartbeat. he is constantly fawning over him.

  50. 50
    B-Side
    Posted February 5, 2006 at 5:13 pm

    Santino’s Tim Gunn impersonation was great. I was cackling the entire time.

  51. 51
    anonym.
    Posted February 5, 2006 at 5:37 pm

    ^ cakling like beth at the end of last week’s RW/RR challenge? that witch- cackiling made me spit out my coffee!

  52. 52
    anonym.
    Posted February 5, 2006 at 5:38 pm

    *cackling..spelt it wrong twice..and differenly..wow, today’s a good day

  53. 53
    Sarcasma
    Posted February 5, 2006 at 9:25 pm

    My favorite part was towards the beginning when Andrae said “Someone is going home, but it’s definitely not me. It’s NOT me.”

    I think final three will be Chloe, Daniel and Nick.

  54. 54
    MIA
    Posted February 6, 2006 at 5:56 am

    I am glad Nick is still there.
    He makes me laugh and besides the garden dress I like everything he does.

    Kara got extremely lucky. I thought for sure she was going home. I even voted for her to be out on the PR website.

    I love Santino’s impressions and want him to stay only so he can continue to make me laugh.

  55. 55
    hardly@work
    Posted February 6, 2006 at 8:03 am

    so sad to see andrea go…

    the last supper picture was hilarious, thans for that

    in the words of michael kors “i’m a total dan fan”

    i don’t think nick’s previous work was vulgar, but his latest design did not impress me. He’s like a little stray pup you want to bring home and play dress up with…tmi?

  56. 56
    serenasixfeetunder
    Posted February 6, 2006 at 8:03 am

    Of course Daniel is going to win. I think that he totally plays it safe way too often, and I don’t give him many chance-taking-props. I thought Nick’s dress was more visually interesting than Daniel’s and looked like it was probably more difficult to execute. I also think that Daniel won partially because he had the most FLOWERS as opposed to FOLIAGE. Tim was right, this is NYC, baby. No hundred dollar Tourney o’Roses. I thought Andrae’s was cute and I think he got shafted. Kara is definately the weakest link!
    I want in on the M-F’N cocktail hour!!! I am in RI, the armpit of the USA, please don’t leave me out!

  57. 57
    September
    Posted February 6, 2006 at 9:35 am

    I’m a girl, but I have a crush on Daniel…he is one hot gay guy. I am now pulling for Santino to make it to the top 3. He actually won me over with his spot on impersonation of Tim Gunn. And his story line was hysterical!
    My final 3 prediction: Daniel, Chloe, Santino

  58. 58
    juddfan
    Posted February 6, 2006 at 10:15 am

    NOw that Andrae is gone, who will be Tim’s new date? The make-overs could be fun this week.

    Just a shout out to LQ–great job!!! They should have used that as their promotional poster!!!!

  59. 59
    spatula
    Posted February 6, 2006 at 10:46 am

    Last week Nina Garcia gave Santino the thumbs down for being inspired by graffiti, ie. predictable. I think she said, “I’m sorry, every artist is inspired by graffiti.” This week, she’s disappointed no one used flowers, which is totally predictable. Idiot.

    And since no one said it, I will, Badgely looked like a radioactive Mystic Tanned Cheeto. Every time the camera panned to him, my eyes watered in stinging pain.

  60. 60
    anonym.
    Posted February 6, 2006 at 2:55 pm

    i hate nina garcia. plain and simple.
    spatula- i totally agree with you– she contradicts herself from week to week. if every artist is inspired by graffiti, then how many artists do you think are inspired by flowers (a la daniel’s inspiration). she should have just said his execution was not up to par like daniel’s.
    hey nina: it doesn’t matter what the inspiration is; the task wasn’t to choose the most interesting muse, otherwise andrae would have won. it was WHAT YOU DO WITH IT! did i mention i hate nina garcia?

  61. 61
    Lizardqueen
    Posted February 6, 2006 at 3:52 pm

    Nina Garcia. I’m loathing her as we speak. Sending evil death rays her way. She is a duplicitous snob. One week she wore the most heinous dress and I forgot to hate on it. Looked like something your mom would wear to a picnic in 1987, while you rolled your pre-teen eyes and sneered “Mom, you are soooo embarrassing.” Any screencaps of this hideous garment? It must have been 3 or 4 weeks ago.

  62. 62
    anonym.
    Posted February 6, 2006 at 5:23 pm

    http://projectrunway.shopthescene.com/detail.php?p=3974&SESSID=a81ef3fce0c6182850ec58e555e402ec

    oh fuck, i want this!

  63. 63
    anonym.
    Posted February 6, 2006 at 5:47 pm

    ^ my apologies, in all of my excitement, i forgot to censor it.
    it should be “oh f**k, i want this!”

  64. 64
    serenasixfeetunder
    Posted February 7, 2006 at 3:42 am

    I am so disapointed!! Cafe Press is not offering the “Where The Hell Is My Chiffon?!!!!” shirt anymore!!! Does anyone know someone who may have an extra to sell?

  65. 65
    jelodi97
    Posted February 7, 2006 at 4:58 am

    I read somewhere that Nina Garcia is from Colombia. If so, then maybe she is applying Medellin Cartel techniques in judging these ridiculous fashion “challenges”.

    I don’t think she’s all that bad though.

  66. 66
    Tati
    Posted February 7, 2006 at 9:23 am

    Bravo’s website features profiles of the judges, that’s where they mention she’s fr Colombia (& Michael Kors is from Longisland!) I don’t thnk she’s that bad either, though she does seem 2 have it in for Santino, even when he’s not that bad (like ths wk, so what if he shellacked the hell outta dress that wasn’t meant 2 b worn anyway). The judges on all these reality shows contradict themselves all the time, it is quite unfair. I ddn’t thnk it was a big deal the designrs ddn’t use more flowers.

  67. 67
    EdHill
    Posted February 7, 2006 at 6:26 pm

    Free Tim Gunn? That shirt makes no sense. “Free Winona” made sense. It was lame, but it made sense.

  68. 68
    anonym.
    Posted February 7, 2006 at 7:46 pm

    edhill- anything done by the adorable daniel vosovic is worth buying..even with its ambiguous meaning..maybe it’s “free tim gun from the constraints of his red lobster bib”??
    *side note- we couldn’t use the “adorable card” for buying garbage clothing from jay mccarrol, that’s for sure!

  69. 69
    PixieGal
    Posted February 8, 2006 at 10:41 pm

    September- Daniel says he’s bi, not totally gay.

    There is still hope! :P

  70. 70
    fairch
    Posted February 9, 2006 at 7:25 am

    Does anyone know exactly what type of flowers Daniel used on his dress, all I could find was blue violet, but that doesn’t sound right to me

  71. 71
    Tati
    Posted February 9, 2006 at 9:12 am

    In Tim Gunn’s blog, he described the flowers Dan used as ‘blue-purple orchids’. I thought they were hibiscus but that’s that Tim said & my guess is he saw ‘m in real life, he would know.

    Pixie, I thought it was Santino who said he was bi, not Dan? In last wk’s garden party episode, he said he came out 2 his parents last yr. He did mention having had a g’frnd, who said he ddn’t know he was gay. Another reviewer commented on an interview w/ Santino they read somewhere that it was he who claimed to be ‘bi’. (but maybe they both are, i just hadn’t heard that abt Dan)

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