Vincent Gets Auf

Project Runway

By EdHIll | Thursday, September 7, 2006 | 8:31 pm | 49 Comments

There’s nothing like a good change of scenery to spice things up. Just like when the Facts of Life went from a boarding house to a candy store to try and revitalize the show, Project Runway has relocated, albeit temporarily, to the heart of the Fashion world, Paris, France. Now all they need is a young George Clooney with big hair to complete the effect.

But of course heaven forbid that Project Runway needed to spice things up. They’ve got a strong season going for them so far, thank you very much. So this little diversion should prove to be a nice change of pace. And it raises the specter of the greatest challenge they could ever attempt to do: The sexy French maid outfit challenge.

So finally in honor of Project Runway’s Paris trip, I have decided to finish this recap entirely in French, the language of Love, as opposed to the language of hate, which we all know is Inuit.

Tellement en ce moment vous vous demandez si je vais réellement accomplir cette récapitulation en français. Non, pas vraiment. Je suis simplement curieux pour voir si mes typos sont dépassent la langue et également I pour voir si n’importe qui prend la peine de traduire ceci et de le lire. Si oui, mon chapeau est éteint à vous!OK, just kidding. I can barely type in English much less another language. The show starts immediately after Angela was sent unceremoniously packing. And no they didn’t send her right home they gave her a day to see the sights and have a nice meal. It’s Bravo, they’re not entirely heartless. They’ve kept Carson Cressley employed for over 3 years, exactly 2 years and 10 months longer than he was of any interest to anyone. We start with our annoyingly cliché French accordion music moments after the last eviction. Alas this lame music will pervade the entire episode until they leave for New York. Thank god they didn’t go to England as we’d be hearing God Save the Queen every 5 minutes.

Catherine Maldonado then tells the designers about their next challenge. They are to design couture dress. Now for those of you who don’t know, and that was me until I looked it up last season, couture is a term referring to a hand made one of a kind high fashion dress. And France is the capitol of it. I’m ambivalent about it since a lot of what I’ve seen in the past of couture is what turns the normal person off from fashion. Ridiculous crap like this and this. But for a challenge, why not. And besides, Couture rhymes with cooter, so it can’t be all bad.

Catherine says that in France couture is a serious business. You have to be licensed by the government to do it. Just like Germany has strict beer making laws, France has strict fashion laws. 007, license to couture. Wow, that was one bad joke.

They have only two days to complete the dress. When Vincent hears this he is shocked. “I mean a couture gown in what, 20 hours?”. Vincent is using the European clock you see where an hour of their time is like 2.4 of hours. It’s the metric system. They do things differently over there. Even their plugs look weird. Catherine then says they are all invited to a party Sunday night where they can present all of the fabulous gowns. The password to get in is “Fidelio” and be sure to wear a weird mask and bring lots of condoms. From there Tim tells them they are heading to their hotel and after they unpack he is taking them all out to dinner. Are there Red Lobsters in Paris?

After a brief look at their hotel and a walk around town, which made me convinced that I need to go to Paris soon, they walk through the courtyard of the Louvre and past the final resting place of the Holy Grail. Oops, I’ve said too much… Moving on. They then go to what Laura calls a “great French restaurant” , or as the French call it, “a restaurant”.

The next morning Tim gets them up bright and early. After a short ride on the metro, where Jeff is mistaken for Pete Doherty, understandable since they both have that heroin ravaged talentless loser vibe going, they are brought to Sacré-Coeur de Montmartre a church at the highest point in the city where artists go to find inspiration. They are given 30 minutes to sketch. Vincent doesn’t waste any time during sketching to start talking about his arousal levels. “I trained in couture dressmaking. It just turns me on” he breathlessly informs us Great. Thank you Bravo for unleashing Vincent’s erection on Europe.

When they are finished they all take the metro again and go to the French Mood called Rain. And since couture fabrics are expensive they are given 300 euro, equivalent of 370 dollars. Hmm, maybe that trip to France will have to wait a bit until the exchange rate changes. As they wander the store Uli talks about going with what she knows, which makes me nervous, and Vincent upon seeing a bolt of white fabric moans sin ecstasy at the store clerk helping him saying “Ooh, she knows what I like”. Readers, commence vomiting now. Jeff goes with a weird plaid and says his inspiration is the Statue of Liberty. This makes me hopeful that that means he will be booted this week but then he reminds us that he has immunity this week, which makes my heart sink.

Back in the workroom they are given models cards for the French model that they are going to be using. Then Tim lets us in on a piece of news that makes me sad. They will only be in France for this one challenge. They will have to refit their NY models when they get back to the states. They have until midnight tonight and with that Tim says “Faites-lui le travail!” Make it work in French.

And Kayne still thinks he’s the “funny one”

Uli finally steps out of here comfort zone and starts to design a dress with no prints. It’s a classic satiny looking gray. This makes me happy as I’m an unabashed Uli fan, despite some cheap jokes at the beginning of the show (Hey, A blogger gots to eat) and hope this can be a big breakthrough for her. Laura goes with a black dress with white a white collar and wants to vamp it up. Michael says he is going simple and will then put his details on top of that.

Kayne on the other hand is excited as his dress is going to be the kind of dress he would make for his favorite pageant girl. Laura gently reminds him, well as gently as Laura can do anything really, that “that’s gonna get you in trouble Kayne”. Lets hope so, I’m kind of done with Kayne and his “Vegas tendencies” as Laura puts it.

Later that night we see Vincent working on his dress in shorts and a muscle t shirt, sans accompanying muscles. This challenge is that hot for him. Pretty soon I expect him to tuck back his junk and do a Silence of the Lambs dance around his dress with “The Crying Game ” playing in the background. Laura pipes in, and god knows I love it when she does, saying that “Vincent is a legend in his own mind. He spends a lot of time working on his pattern on the mannequin, stepping back, and admiring his work. Asking us other designers for what he calls an opinion but its really he just wants us to come admire his work.” Cut to Vincent doing exactly that.

The next morning, after an “Odd Couple” like exchange (only without the humor) with Jeff, Vincent and an electric shaver, we get right back to the workroom. They only have twelve hours left and need to Faites-lui le travail!

Tim comes by and gives them all his Tim’s take, French style. Michael is worried about his time. At Laura’s station, we see her wearing a cutoff exposing her now quite big pregnant belly. Damn, didn’t she just find out she was pregnant a week ago and now she’s got a huge belly? I have no concept of time on this show. Its like watching a soap opera in the mid nineties when Hope and Bo are having a kid, and then watching it in 2000 and their kids are like 23 and getting married. What? My mom watches Days of Our lives so occasionally I get to see it. Don’t judge.

Next for Laura? A couture “Bun in the oven” T-shirt

At Kayne’s station, which were calling pageant central, Tim looks concerned. Tim starts his next sentence with “I am only saying this I the spirit of someone who wants you to succeed…” Ooh, that’s not a good start to s sentence. That’s the equivalent of the “Ed, I just want to tell you that I think you’re a great guy….” speech. Namely, what comes next is gonna sting. “This is not working for me. Seeing all this boning underneath. It’s not pretty”. I don’t know what boning is but I agree with Tim. I always do. Kayne is simply oblivious. He thinks it’s gorgeous. It’s like a drug addict who says he can quit any time. Or an alcoholic who says she will just drink beer and won’t do shots anymore. We all know how successful that is.

Back in the workroom Jeff is having a mini breakdown regarding the whole couture French sanctioned thing or what have you. I guess that French heroin doesn’t agree with him. Laura is still worrying aloud about Kayne. She likes him and feels bad that he may get hurt since his dress sucks. Jeff in his usual way just says he doesn’t care if he gets hurt. The same way I don’t care about making heron jokes about a recovering junkie. The beauty is, if the recovering junkie is a dick head, all bets are off.

Laura’s dress and her elaborate collar are coming along but Vincent and Jeff hate it. Vincent tells Jeff that it looks like the creature from the black lagoon. It’s totally ruining his hard on man. Jeff then comes back saying that yeah, it’s really boring! A boring creature from the black lagoon? I love how they both think they agree on what they think of her dress, but are too stupid to realize they both have the exact opposite reaction to it.

Michael meanwhile is worried he’s not going to get his done in time. This is the part of the show I hate. When you can’t tell what everyone’s dress looks like so you can’t tell who’s going home and who’s staying. So when they make me nervous for Michael, it gets my agita up. Vincent meanwhile is going on and on about how his dress has “got a funk to it”, and combined with the constant “it turns me on” comments, it creates an unappealing vision in my head of what is the cause of said funk.

That night at the hotel poor Laura is letting us in on what I have chauvinistically not even noticed. All this stress is making it tough for her since she’s pregnant. Her ankles are swollen from the constant walking around town, she’s tired and she’s got a pregnancy to look after not just herself. Because of that she goes to bed early while everyone stays up to drink wine and cheese. But she doesn’t miss much as all we here is Kayne insisting his dress is gorgeous.

The next morning everyone is getting ready for the big party today with their gowns. They have 3 hours in the morning to finish up. Uli is worried that Vincent’s skirt fabric looks a little too much like a sofa. Yeah, and we all know what a dress that looks like a sofa can get you on Project Runway. Michael is worried as he is hand sewing his dress and he’s never done it before. They don’t hand sew in the hood. It’s all sewing machines. Blinged out sewing machines.

Soon Tim shows up and says they have 3 hours to get ready. When Laura asks if they are having their traditional runway walk Tim says he can’t say. It’s a surprise! After that the Models arrive. Mmmm, French models.

Not everyone is happy with them as Michael soon realizes his model, who is hot, is also about the size of a small hobbit. This means he has to take the dress in 4 sizes with an hour to go. With all the sewing he has to do on top of that I start to worry about my boy Michael. Kayne meanwhile is still in his little “my dress is gorgeous” world. Population: 1. When Tim comes by to see Vincent, he has reduced himself to gluing his last stuff on, even the hem. Tim is quite displeased (to fond out exactly why, listen to his weekly podcast). After a brief bit of bitch Tim getting everyone in gear they head off to their fabulous party.

This is how we say “Hello” in America!

When they get there they realize the party is on a boat docked on the river Seine. Brings back Memories of Highlander – the series. Ahh, I miss that show. And like Highlander, in the end there can be only one. As they are all walking onto the barge the weirdest thing happens. Some random guy from an apartment building above starts pelting them with eggs. Or was it from the grassy French knoll? Who knows. I guess the guy must have a thing about hastily constructed fake couture. Like I said, they take this stuff seriously in France. Unfortunately Michael, who has had a hard enough time as it is, has his dress now with a sheen off egg on the cuff.

Le Punk’d!

On the barge we are greeted by Catherine who is wearing those god-awful oversized 70′s sunglasses. God I hate those things. It just brings imagines of a preying mantis looking Nicole Ritchie flooding into my brain. Gross. Speaking of gross, Laura’s model. Holy cow. A pale pudgy mess. She looks like she just stepped out of a Sid and Nancy look a like contest. The other models however, are smoking. Even better than the ones back home. Except for Amanda of course.

She actually makes Laura look tan

With that they break out the champagne and Catherine does her rounds talking with each designer. When she is chatting with Jeff she asks about his neck tattoo and we finally learn what it is. Directions to the final resting place of the lost ark of the covenant! Who knew? She tells him that doing a couture dress all in cotton is rather audacious of him. Which I think is the French word for “retarded”. When Catherine is amazed by Michael’s detail work on his dress we hear Michael tell us “it is fucked up under that dress. If you took a look it’s horrible.”

When we see Vincent’s dress Catherine is surprised that he decided to go with shoulder pads. NFL couture. Vincent however doesn’t care about fashion right now. He is transfixed. He decides to put his month long erection to good use and starts to hit on Catherine in the creepiest way possible. Or the most Vincenty way possibly. Same thing really. “Your one of the most sensational women I’ve ever laid eyes on. Everything about you, your hair, you watch, your look, impeccable.” Her watch? Then he goes in for the kill. “Was your father a thief? ‘Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.” Vincent’s full court press doesn’t work to well as Catherine brushes it all off. Then when he asks her opinion on his dress she just says that its “an interesting dress”.

After a truncated runway show Tim grades the scorecards and says that they are going back with him to NY but for now, lets par-tay. “Bravo!” exclaims Catherine, to which Tim Responds “Bravo is right!” Oh they do love their in show plugs. With that they spend the night drinking champagne and watching the sights of the city as they sail down the river. Speaking if the sights, one of the French models asks Kayne in her sexy French accent about American models. And Kayne totally sells my Amanda down the river by saying that while the American models are good, the French ones are superb! Et tu Kayne? Et tu?

The next morning alas is the end of our Paris adventure. They are all headed back to NY. When they arrive back home instantly through the magic of television they have to get ready for another runway show with their real models and they have only 2 hours to get ready. With the French models subsisting on moldy cheese and wine, their measurements are a lot smaller than our good old br-b-q eating, beer swilling American models, so everyone is struggling to refit their dresses. Laura notices her poofy collar got smooshed in the planes garment bag and is struggling to regain its poofiness. A struggle we all face every day in one form or another.

On the runway we are greeted by our perky Heidi. She is going a different way with this weeks look. No jeans and a cute top but instead opting for a nice black evening gown. Only downside, it minimizes her world famous boobies. Our judges are Michael , Nina and Richard Tyler, who just designed the Delta flight suits we saw last episode. It’s all about corporate synergy people. Richard Tyler has an amazing look by the way. It’s like the crypt keeper with a mullet.

“The first dress is Kayne’s. It’s actually not too bad looking, but I am distracted by Amanda, looking prettier than she’s ever been. But since we’ve seen her look pretty damn horrible in the past, it’s basically just nice to see her cleaned up for once. Next we have Laura’s dress. She is worried that the collar doesn’t have the oomph it had in Paris. Next is Uli’s and it’s quite the departure for her. A simply gray silky gown. No crazy prints. It’s one of my favorites and really shows that she has bigger range.

Next is Jeff’s wacky cotton yellow jacket mess. I don like it at all. Vincent’s is OK, but Vincent of course thinks its genius. “The cut on the back of the dress. No one cuts like that” yeah, yeah, whatever. Then we have Michael. I admit it’s not the best effort for him. It has a Malan like quality to it. “I’m sweating like a whore in church” he says as his model walks don the runway, since he has a lot of issues with the dress. Which I appreciate. Nothing aggravates me more than listening to designers talk about how awesome their dress is when everyone can clearly see its a piece of crap. Actually that’s not true, nothing aggravates me more than the way that every single low cut gown this season has been modeled by a woman with the chest of a prepubescent boy. Where can a guy get some cleavage around here? Let’s get some of that décolletage up in this mofo.

After the runway show we are brought before the judges. Since the sow has narrowed it down a bit they get a chance to talk to every designer. They start with Uli. They all like that Uli broke out of her shell. They think it beautiful. Michael says he think “it looks elevated. I don’t look at it and thinks she’s wearing a flip flop in Miami”. Uli is now bringing her A game down the home stretch.

Then they go to Kayne. He went with gold mesh and the famous boning we have heard about. Richard Tyler thinks it looks too busy. As does Nina. Michael agrees as well saying “I think the ombre chiffon is gorgeous, but who can concentrate on that?. I think you’re middle names gotta be ‘too much’”. You know Michael has been waiting weeks to use that line.

When they ask Jeffrey to describe his outfit he tells them that he loves the color. He says he just wants people to smile when they look at it. They all surprisingly like his use of color as well and give him high marks. Vincent they don’t like either. The top doesn’t fit right, the sleeve doesn’t fit right. Nina thinks that the back would have worked better as the front. And Richard Tyler doesn’t like the Angela like flourette on the back of the dress.

Now its time for Michael. Kors says the dress looks like when they loan a dress out to a celebrity and this is what they get back. A wrinkled mess. Oh please Kors, having celebrities wear your dresses is your bread and butter. You guys form a symbiotic relationship, not unlike the people of Naboo and the Gungans. That’s right Kors, you’re Jar Jar. Deal with it. Michael does come back with the egg spattering incident but I’m not sure how far that will get him. It’s not like it splattered all over the dress, it just grazed the hem. Richard Tyler and Heidi hate the little bunny eared ruffles coming out of the cleavage and ask him to tuck them in. When he does the difference is notable and the dress looks much better.

Laura’s they don like at all. They specifically comment on the dated looking collar which bothers them. Kors says that if you shortened the collar and gave her a duster she would look like a French maid. I am struggling to see his point there. Was that an insult?

Once they are finished they send them all backstage so they can discuss amongst themselves. They combine their scores with Catherine’s from France. Most of them agree on Uli’s and Jeff’s, they liked them both. They don’t like Michaels dress and Kayne’s is just flat out tacky as always. Nina says about Kayne that his taste level is just not there. Nina you’ll remember waxed rhapsodic about Bradley’s potato sack dress that took him 5 minutes to throw together. Fashion is subjective. With Vincent’s dress, Michael is complaining that the model is basically topless, once again making it sound like an insult. They also hate the glued on button looking thing in the back. The funniest part was when Heidi then reads Catherine’s notes on Kayne’s. She looks down at the card which just says “No, no, no, no, no” That made me laugh. Next Laura. Its looks too obvious and old. Kors says “it’s a big block of fabric that looks like a slab”.

After they are done deliberating they bring out the contestants. The winner of the challenge is announced first. It is Jeffrey. And now I realize why I hate Jeffrey. Unbridled arrogance, a sense of entitlement. Acting like a dick all the time. He sucks but when the time comes late in the game they somehow are able to squeak through. Jeffrey is the New York Yankees. God I hate him. Let’s just hope he is the 2004 New York Yankees and Michael is the 2004 miracle Boston Red Sox. Especially since Heidi announces from now on there will be no more immunity.

Heidi then says that Uli is in. And then, thank god, Michael is in. My man is still kicking. Now I just need Laura to make it so my top 3 is intact. Please god let Laura make it. Things don’t bode well for that outcome as for some ungodly reason, Kayne is told he is still in it. So it’s down to Laura and Vincent.. Are all the rumors true about Vincent’s weird looking model getting hit by a bus? Did he make it?

Haha. NOPE! Laura is een! Vincent is out! The Vincent hard on of 2006 finally sags. After he goes to his workroom to clean up we get Vincent’s parting thoughts. “It got me off, I just loved it”. How his man doesn’t have Popeye forearms I have no idea. And if you cant get enough Vincent check out his interview in this weeks Entertainment Weekly. He puts the D in delusional. Among his gems, Michael Kors “didn’t have a clue”. The judges didn’t like his outfits because they were so new and innovative it scared them. And when asked who he thought was the best designer, here is his response:

Myself. I love the truth, and I’ll say this: If you look at the show and you know anything about design, you can see clearly who the designer was. They are amateurs. This show is full of amateur designers. I think one was way, way above and alone on the show. But I don’t do the ego thing. It’s not my style. But I love the truth.

Boy I’m glad he doesn’t do the ego thing, otherwise that could have come off looking bad.

Ah well, that’s all in the past now. Today all is good in runway land. My top 3 remain intact and things move on to next week where Tim says they have a big surprise for us.

Comments (49)
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49 Comments

1

JBJS

Posted September 7, 2006 at 8:48 pm

I haven’t even read the recap yet, but I wanted to give you props on the title. Awesome work!
2

The Svan

Posted September 7, 2006 at 9:08 pm

The Highland reference saved you young Ed Hill from mean comments by The Svan about your soap watching. Jeff is far better than Laura, The Svan wishes she would have been hit by the bus. At least then her children would have a chance at having a loving stepmother.
3

Aries

Posted September 7, 2006 at 9:58 pm

I don’t understand how the judges went for Jeffrey’s dress. Granted my judgment is probably colored by the enormous amount of hate I have for the jerk, but I thought Uli’s dress was better than his in every way. It was prettier and better constructed while Jeffrey’s dress was kind of a mess. The only thing I can think is that Jeffrey’s dress was definitely more attention-grabbing and “risky” (according to Catherine) and that’s how he edged out Uli. Or maybe this is the producers’ way of setting Jeffrey up to make it to the final 3 (VOMIT) once they eliminate Kayne and Laura (both of which are clearly in the works). My dream final 3 are Michael, Uli, and Laura but it looks like the producers want to keep Jerky Jeffrey around for the ‘drama.’ Whatever.
4

The Svan

Posted September 7, 2006 at 10:06 pm

Laura is a bitch and deserves to go down. Jeff’s dress was the best tonight, no one has done anything like it during the whole competition and Uli keeps making the same flowly dress everytime. This time she went without prints. Woo-hoo. Same with Laura, same classic design everytime. Jeff and Micheal change it up. Uli deserves to be a finalist but in no way deserved to win tonight.
5

rwhip923

Posted September 7, 2006 at 10:39 pm

Laura’s dress looks like the one Joan Rivers wore selling makeup in “The Muppets Take Manhattan”. And that’s not a good thing.
6

mizta

Posted September 8, 2006 at 4:50 am

I belive that French lady said “No, no, no, no, no,” to Vincent’s dress, not Kayne’s.
7

MariaIsabell

Posted September 8, 2006 at 5:16 am

I am pulling for Michael all the way. That man had me with the coffee filter dress.

I would also bet that Jeffrey will make it to the final 3, I think the judges as well as myself are curious to see his collection

For the third, I think its a toss up between Uli & Laura. I think Uli is too predictable, although I have loved everything she has done I just wish she would do something different.
Her dress from this challenge was not far off from her pagent dress.
It was about the same color and style. She is becoming boring to me.
8

VeeJay

Posted September 8, 2006 at 5:25 am

To put it mildly, my skin turned as yellow as Jeffrey’s dress when he won. Yeah, I suppose it was innovative, but I’m just itching for the judges to wipe that smug expression off his face. He reminds me of a Kewpie doll turned into a monster for a horror movie. Uggh.

Vincent deserved to get auf’d. Great choice of words, BTW: He did indeed put the D in delusional.

Laura and Michael: I sweated bullets. I want them in the top three, but ooooh, their designs were awful this week.

Kayne: Ah, Kayne. He’s the most fun to watch. I miss the Kayne and Robert comedy hour, but Kayne alone is pretty funny too. His dress was not as bad as you and the judges made it to be. It was a costume, to be sure, but it looked great on the model.

Uli: Yeah, she designed a graceful dress. But she’s still stuck in her comfort zone. I just don’t see her designing anything other than these handkerchief dresses.

Final four should be Michael, Uli, Laura, and Kayne.

If Jeffrey doesn’t get auf’d next, there’s no justice in this world.
9

Laska

Posted September 8, 2006 at 5:36 am

I thought Jeffrey’s dress was horrible, but his model worked it and I think that put his dress over the better looking Uli’s.
10

MissKatrina

Posted September 8, 2006 at 6:08 am

EdHill, my grandma watches Days of our Lives, too, so I laughed heartily at the Bo/Hope reference.

I hate TattooNeck’s attitude but his dress was probably the most innovative.

I am not sad to see Vincent go. In fact, I’d say that seeing him leave really turns me on.
11

Loo

Posted September 8, 2006 at 6:30 am

I find this show less interesting, now that Angela’s gone. The Paris designs were disappointing, though I will say that Uli’s was attractive–the first of hers that I’ve liked.

Laura’s taste has been impeccable up to this point, but the collar dress was clownish.
12

srsdal

Posted September 8, 2006 at 6:44 am

rwhip923 – any reference to MTM is a great one…thanks

I’m so glad you linked to the EW article. I really didn’t like Vincent before but after reading that interview I can actually say that I hate the man
13

tvtvtv

Posted September 8, 2006 at 7:09 am

Heidi’s dramatic reading of Catherine’s comments was easily the funniest part of the entire show. I love that crazy supermodel. (And the “no, no, no, no” was re: Vincent.)
14

HicksPub

Posted September 8, 2006 at 8:23 am

I, too, am bothered by Laura’s Insta-Belly(TM). I know that by the time you have your 16th kid that you’re all stretched out and all, but dag. And I’m sorry, pregnant women are cute and whatnot, but it really bugs me when they’re bellies are gratuitously exposed.

(Editor’s note: I hate Jeffrey) It would be interesting to see Jeffrey’s dress in a solid color (yes, even the day-glo yellow). I think that the design and structure of the dress was excellent, but I was too distracted by the plaid to appreciate it. Wow, that sounded really arty. Sorry ’bout that.
15

Barfly

Posted September 8, 2006 at 8:49 am

Jeffrey’s dress was by far the best, most creative, and also the most “couture” of the bunch. Couture fashions are never something you would buy and wear on the street. Uli’s was just a pretty dress. No originality there. All of her dresses have the same feel and line to them. I’m starting to get bored.

I personally think asshole Jeffrey is turning it up a notch – he’s won two in a row, and in my opinion should have also won the recycling challenge.

Say what you will about the man’s attitude, but he is definitely one of the most creative of this bunch.

That being said, I still think Michael will pull it out in the end. Except for this challenge, he’s been the most consistant, making wearable and creative clothing.
16

kepster

Posted September 8, 2006 at 9:52 am

Impressive use of French, EdHill. Do you kiss that way too?
And yes, you have far less typos en francais que en englais. Mon chapeau est eteint a vous aussi!
I’m so glad Vincent is gone. He disgusts me.
17

MastaGal17

Posted September 8, 2006 at 10:04 am

Just to reiterate: the “No, No, No, No” comments were in regards to Vincent not Kayne.

If Kayne’s middle name is “Too Much,” then perhaps Uli’s middle name should be “I lack personality” or “Boring.” Her dress was not couture, IMO.

I think Jeffrey and Michael are shoo-ins for the finals. I think Uli or Laura will go home next week.
18

J-Light

Posted September 8, 2006 at 10:06 am

Finally Vincent got the boot. I’ve been waiting for this moment all season! Quite frankly none of these dresses would ever be considered couture in the fashion world. Jeffrey’s was the closest thing and all of Uli’s dresses are basically the same, just in different colors. My final four would be Micheal, Jeff, Laura and Uli, with of course Micheal winning!!!
19

conrad5

Posted September 8, 2006 at 10:19 am

“Honey, I shrunk the 401(k)!” Vincent has always reminded me of a mildly deranged Rick Moranis. I’m not sure what was more painful for Vincent: the mugging he received from the IRS after his premature distribution, or Catherine Malandrino’s vicious assault. She was so incensed at his affront to the whole concept of “couture” that her vocabulary was reduced to that of mauling victim…..no, no, no, no! I hope Vincent’s investment decisions were better than his fashion instincts, though I doubt it. He was probably balls-to the-wall in some front-loaded muni fund. His selection process probably involved a semen-stained prospectus.

I think all the designers came up with respectable pieces that could be reasonably shown on any one of those stupid fashion shows you see on TV all the time. You know¦the fuzzy lens, jerky camera shots, and throbbing Moby background music. Jeffery’s dress was bold, but looked like a derivative Burberry piece¦only with a really high leg slit. That’s not necessarily a bad thing though, especially when the French model wearing it is traveling commando-style. My Tivo snickered as it caught a brief glimpse of China. So immature!

I hope they put that egg-throwing French miscreant on the plane with them back to NY. He would be a great guest judge in the next episode. His critiques couldn’t be any less entertaining than those of Richard Belker, I mean Tyler. I’m ramming a pack of Harry Winstons (whatever those are) up my nose right now, as a tribute to Vincent.
20

Pamsey

Posted September 8, 2006 at 10:30 am

What I can’t figure out is the connection between Jeff’s yellow plaid nightmare (sorry, I hated it) and his stated inspiration, the statue of liberty? WTF?
21

murphena

Posted September 8, 2006 at 10:36 am

I’m glad Vincent is gone although I invented a new drinking game: everytime he said something got him off (or words to that effect), you do a shot. I still can’t figure out how he made it on in the first place.

While I liked Jeff’s style of dress, I HATED the pattern. Reminded me of something from the 70s. Wonder if he’ll really make it to the final 3.

Uli’s was pretty but very reminescent of all the others she has done. Michael slipped a bit this week but I’m sure he’ll rebound.

I hated Laura’s outfit and hope she turns things around next week (in the preview, she mentioned the Olsen twins — wonder if they’ll be designing for them?? Won’t need much fabric anyway). I liked Kayne’s although the top was a bit off.

Michael has this won in my opinion.
22

zevonia

Posted September 8, 2006 at 10:43 am

Pamsey (#20), good point. I’d forgotten Jeffrey said that.
I don’t like plaid (wore too much of it in parochial school) so I don’t like the fabric or the color. I suppose design wise it’s a good dress but the color and fabric distract me so much, it’s hard to tell.
I have to agree with EdHill about the necklines. What is the point of all these plunging necklines when there’s nothing to show off?
The photos on the website do not help me understand the dresses. I mean Kayne’s doesn’t look that bad to me but maybe if I saw it move…
I’m glad Vincent is gone but who knew he had a wife? I imagined him living alone in a dirty studio apartment getting a hard on at the thought of, well, himself. And he’s got a daughter?!? Some people should not be allowed to breed.
23

The Svan

Posted September 8, 2006 at 10:57 am

The inspiration was most likely a political move being the original scoring was done in France. For those illiterate in history, look up why that might have been a good idea. You might learn something that isn’t directly applicable to the celebrity world you cream yourself over.
24

Mulv

Posted September 8, 2006 at 11:17 am

Good episode, I thought.

Ok, here we go:

Michael: He’s my boy. I want him to win not only because I think he has the most talent but because I think he’s the most likable designer on the show as well. But, and it pains me to say this, his dress was not good this week. At least he knew it. I did like the color though.

Uli: I thought her dress looked like every other dress she’s ever made except in a solid color. I wasn’t that impressed but she’s nice and she’s been consistent so I’m glad to have her around for another week.

Laura: I sort of liked the dress in Paris but hated it in New York. I don’t know exactly why. The droopy collar can’t account for that much of a change in opinion. Eh, who knows?

Jeff: I hate the guy but I loved this dress. I loved the print. I found it a refreshing departure.

Kayne: I don’t know why the judges shat all over this dress, I thought it was gorgeous and not at all over the top. Go figure.

Vincent: Thank god he got the boot. He lasted much too long in my opinion. I think he confuses weirdness with inspiration. He’s not inspired! He’s just plain weird!
25

EdHill

Posted September 8, 2006 at 11:48 am

Man, I love The Svan.
26

Mele

Posted September 8, 2006 at 12:37 pm

This proof that Vincent is a a Muppet:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Don_Music
The muppet, Don Music, gets frustrated while writing a song and screams “I’ll never get it, never, never!” and bangs his head on the keys of his piano. Similar in looks and mental problems with Vincent, without the disturbing hard on.

I am so happy that they finally got rid of the untalented crazies (Angela and Vincent). Jeffrey is an ass but I would like to see what he will come up with. Kayne is too Vegas for the room, but some of his stuff makes me think of bad Versace. I’m afraid that Laura and Uli are too one-note. Michael should win!
EdHill I love you – even your lack of fashion knowledge and proofreading skillz charm me more everyday.
27

lagunschick

Posted September 8, 2006 at 1:00 pm

Did anyone notice that there was a mannequin in the store next to Jeff that showed a model in a dress with really similiar fabric to what he chose. That was a super ugly dress. I guess if couture means that nobody will ever wear it then he deserved to win. His model won that for him anyway. I think Michael has the most promise of a designer. Michael, ULI and Laura are my favorite.
28

whatsername1490

Posted September 8, 2006 at 1:02 pm

aw man, i loved the recap until you compared the jeffrey/michael competition to the 2004 baseball season.

either i root for the “miracle red sox” designer because michael has been my favorite since the beginning, or curse him because i’m a yankees fan and it’s unacceptable to root for the red sox (mataphor or not). what’s a girl to do?!

at any rate, thank goodness vincent’s GONE. tim said on his podcast that after he (tim) picked out the sofa fabric and questioned who would use it, vincent totally picked it up and ran with it. it figures.

PS: i was praying for another “that crotch is INSANE” moment from kors about jeffrey’s dress.
29

antebellum

Posted September 8, 2006 at 2:03 pm

I loved Jeffrey’s dress. I actually thought the plaid was what made it work, but maybe that’s because I liked it and it was too eye-catching to focus on anything else. I liked Uli’s at first but then grew bored of it, much like everyone else here. She’s talented but one-note. Laura’s and Vincent’s were terrible and Kayne’s was decent. Michael’s I actually liked, but much more so when he tucked the “rabbit ears” into the dress.

So glad Vincent is gone. If I had to hear him say “It got me off” one more time I think I would scream. He should have gone the first challenge with that crazy basket hat.
30

Arthur101

Posted September 8, 2006 at 3:41 pm

Jeffrey had just chosen other fasionista references, like so many noted, than the more “classic” ones. A bit westwood, even yeah, burberry. But in no way did he have that “thing” they have, his looked like copies of their already set-in-stone feel. The same story with his painted on belt a few back. Its just he knew what to steal and plant it, but what about HIS ideas. So in the real world, couturecopy, or couture-lite.

That said, there is no excuse for Laura, this should have been her chance to shine, especially for the clientle she seems to imply with all her dresses. Instead she clutched and froze up. Maybe pregnancy is throwing off her game.

As for uli, well, yeah, true, no prints, probably some subtle work in there… But I guess she should have thought that in PR, what they were looking for should play to tv standards, not up-close ones. Couture is FASHION, not fashion. It was a nice line anyway.

Vincent – ha – what to bother saying…I am waiting to see him as a celeb blogger on the next project runway.

kayne was really not so bad, in that, “busy” alone cant be the problem with couture (cue your pics in the post). He adjusted and had some good touches, certainly more than Laura or Vincent.

As for Michael… he is starting to think too much, maybe Paris threw him off, but he still delivered, and as always, able to explain, and show his hand with details and experimented. He – not the copy-friendly referencing Jeffrey – deserves the whole PR win.

It looks like Jeffrey is now going to be at the final 3, which is a drag in a way. It doesnt matter who else, its going to be about Jeffreys sensibility vs Michael, and I guess, for runways, Jeffrey will be more wild and visually likeable on first glance, which is where the start from.

Michael – start up!
31

Foxbase Alpha

Posted September 8, 2006 at 5:07 pm

Mele (#26):

LMFAO on the Vincent = Don Music
32

MastaGal17

Posted September 8, 2006 at 6:35 pm

Did anyone notice if that was that designer Zac Posen as the guest judge in the previews? One of the Olsen twins interned for him. Perhaps this has something to do with the connection between the challenge and guest judge for next week’s episode! What does everyone think?!
33

chooch850

Posted September 8, 2006 at 8:12 pm

Ahhhh Vincent…..your brilliance will be missed.

Can’t wait to see Laura;s pregnancy meltdown next week.

You go Michael !!!!
34

kristin_d_l

Posted September 8, 2006 at 8:28 pm

Okay, I liked Kayne’s dress. A lot. I have a feeling, though, that I might not have liked it as much if I saw it in person.

I thought Uli’s dress was gorgeous, but I agree that she’s getting boring. Also, her dress looked a lot like Santino’s dress for Nicky Hilton last season. All that braided stuff and the empire waist.

I just read Tim’s Take. Does anyone else think it’s hilarious that he used the term “hot mess”?
35

2mville

Posted September 9, 2006 at 12:32 am

Mulv, thanks for using the word “shat.” That word makes me laugh every time I see it.
36

plethLaura

Posted September 9, 2006 at 8:27 am

I was hoping to see a little more of Tim doing Paris. (What mental image does that conjure for you?)

Laura has to make it. She’s supposed to come in third in the final 3! If Jeffwad gets into the final 3 it’ll be worse than that Wendy Pepperwhore.
37

Mehitabel

Posted September 9, 2006 at 5:19 pm

“Vincent has always reminded me of a mildly deranged Rick Moranis. ”

Thank you. I couldn’t pin down who it was. But only “mildly deranged”?

Laura’s unfortunate design was surprising. How could she fail in Paris, home of Coco Chanel and the most beautiful tailored clothing ever created?

I miss Angela, too.
38

Greganda

Posted September 10, 2006 at 10:02 am

Thank god THANK GOD Vincent is off the show. Watching him made me feel so uncomfortable I would want to take a shower. I used to work in the service industry, and he reminds me of the drunk, creepy old guys who would hit on you when you’re just smiling and trying to do your job, and after you bring them their drinks you go into the back and cry because they’re so disgusting, but you can’t quit because you have rent to pay.

(*shudder*) Anyway…

I really liked Jeffrey’s couture dress, even though I think he’s an insufferable prick. After the episode with Angela’s mom, I actually had a dream where I said to him, “Jeffrey, you’re an a*shole. You should go back to doing herion — it’s the only thing that could ever love you.”
39

TimGunnSucks

Posted September 10, 2006 at 1:13 pm

“How could she fail in Paris, home of Coco Chanel and the most beautiful tailored clothing ever created?”

Laura’s done a great job, overall. And I’ll bet even Coco had her bad days.

“I still can’t figure out how he made it on in the first place.”

As usual, the producers put story drama over fairness. Though I’m hardly a Vincent fan, I think it was cruel to put him in the show, given what it cost him (literally). You can’t tell me his portfolio designs merited his participation.
40

Pamsey

Posted September 11, 2006 at 8:01 am

Dear Svan
I doubt you’ll see this at this late date, but I am well aware of the history of the Statue of Liberty and its ties to France. I still don’t see any connection to Jeff’s dress.
41

murphena

Posted September 11, 2006 at 8:38 am

I agree that I don’t see any ties between Jeff’s dress and the Statue of Liberty. At least when Angela used that as her inspiration for the Macy’s challenge, it made a bit more sense. And interesting that Jeff used the same inspiration that Angela did in the past.

And instead of Vincent, I’m sure they could have found some other insane designer who at least could design well. I still can’t believe he’s actually married.
42

livemusicjunkie

Posted September 11, 2006 at 12:41 pm

wait…Vincent is married…to a woman???

Interesting, though, that Nina’s comment they have as being given to Jeffrey was actually to Vincent. I’m glad he’s gone, though. He was seriously disturbing me with all of his “it got me off” comments. What was with that???
43

flymotha

Posted September 11, 2006 at 1:20 pm

Michael… now that gets me off, that turns me on.
44

kristin_d_l

Posted September 11, 2006 at 4:07 pm

“wait…Vincent is married…to a woman???”

Yes, and he also reproduced. He has a daughter.

Scary.
45

remford

Posted September 11, 2006 at 10:45 pm

“Yes, and he also reproduced. He has a daughter.”

And I’m sure his daughter is going to be absolutely thrilled when she’s relegated to community college (or McDonald’s) because daddy blew his 401K to chase his dream for about 8 weeks. Sounds like a fair trade.

I’d hardly be surprised if one night, 25 years from now, we read a Page 20 article recounting how as the Little Lady Libretti was counting her “tip” money before washing-off the daily aroma of Denny’s, a stark realization hit her which compelled her to break into the state-run nursing home currently warehousing her then-never famous father and spiking his IV with something that would finally turn him “off” after decades of his constant self-arousal and sending him to the ultimate “get off” once and for all.

Beneath the copy would be a small grainy image of an aged Alf/Rick Moranis hybrid wearing square spectacles and a hospital gown with ridiculous shoulders and a bow glued to his ass with a seemengly endless stream of drool running down his chin.

Am I being unkind?
46

JaneP

Posted September 12, 2006 at 7:59 am

Did anyone else notice when they went to the fabric store that the table Jeffrey stopped at had a dress made up in the plaid he chose? I thought it was an interesting choice for our one or two tone designer. I think he wasn’t sure what couture was, but figured if it was in a French fabric store, voila! it must be the ticket.
47

2mville

Posted September 12, 2006 at 11:15 am

JaneP-I’m going to have to watch again…I totally missed that about Jeffrey’s fabric.

And Murphena…I think Angela’s inspiration was the Empire State Building (if I remember correctly) and she tied that zig-zag patterned fabric into her design as the lining.
48

d-fly

Posted September 12, 2006 at 1:26 pm

EdHill…if its cleavage you want….tune into the Fresh Meat Reunion on MTV. Between Coral’s out-of-control cha-cha’s and Casey’s brand new pair, you should get your fix!

By the way, your recaps are so funny, they “get me Auf”
49

murphena

Posted September 13, 2006 at 6:33 pm

2mville — thanks for the correction. I guess having a building inspire an outfit is too bizarre for me so I thought it was the Statue of Liberty (which made more sense).