And we thought Rachael’s cooking made us salivate

We don’t usually go to those supermarket tabloids for our stories, but despite the holier-than-thou naysayers, The National Enquirer proved to be pretty darn accurate with the Isaiah Washington gay slur and OJ Simpson Yeah I Did and Here’s How stories, and this one is so out there that when it comes down to reporting that CBS’ 3 Lbs. rated lower than Smith or a bizarre Rachael Ray sex story– we’ll go with the Enquirer.

So here goes. There’s someone else in the kitchen with our favorite perky cook and syndicated talk host (Rachael’s Tasty Travels Food Network show is a TiVo staple around here): a woman claiming she’s had a five-year affair with Rachael’s husband.

But it’s not what you’d call a “typical’ affair. This one’s kinky. The woman says John Cusimano paid her. And when you hear what he paid her to do, you’ll just be happy she didn’t do it in Rachael’s soup!Jeannine Walz claims that Rachael’s 39-year-old musician husband paid her to spit in his face!

And rub her bare feet in his face… and if you can believe it, do even grosser things than that! The woman says she met Mr. Ray outside a Greenwich Village lesbian bar, and that he paid her and three friends $20 to do do the face-spitting. Then he took pictures.

She says the spit-take sessions continued while Cusimano and Rachel were living together, and after they married last year and moved to Florida. She claims there were drugs involved. (And saliva.) But no sex. At least not sex as we know it.

His lawyers call the story “absolutely laughable.” Hey, we were laughing, too, but The Enquirer says she passed a lie detector test. If it is true, with a husband like that, Rachael’s ripe for a cross-promotional spot on Dr. Phil. Or at least Dancing with The Stars.