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Monday, January 14, 2013
11:50 pm
102 Comments
Previously on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Brandi told everyone that Adrienne’s children were created with a homeless woman’s ovaries and elephant sperm, …
How dare you! There were no homeless people involved!
…Paul went all Flinstone and cursed Brandi out after finding out that he could have saved on car insurance and she didn’t tell him,…
If only you knew your wife was about to accuse you of abuse, you might at least pretend to respect women.
…and Brandi had a sit down with possibly one of the stupidest people ever put on this planet, which led into Lisa’s spinoff show, which is a downright unforgivable travesty that needs to be drowned and forgotten as soon as possible.
Quit your whining and marry your ketchups, skank!
We open where we left off: Brandi is crying because her marriage was ruined, Sheayeeeina is crying because she forgot her table numbers again. I don’t feel sorry for either one of them. Sheyaaayina isn’t pretty enough to come to Hollywood relying on looks alone, and Brandi married a soap opera star with a six pack. Of course he cheated, ya dumbass. Now find an ugly rich guy with too low of a self esteem to cheat, like every other self respecting woman in this town.
When the meeting of the “um, like, um, like, um”s is over, Brandi goes to drink and cry with Lisa about how sad it all is. Brandi says that even knowing Scheaniiieeeya boned her husband with full knowledge that his wife was at home pregnant, she kinda feels sorry for the girl. Wait until you see her call herself the brunette Britney and porn moan into a mic while Bravo cameras catch a closeup of her mustache. You’ll really feel for her stupid ass then.
Lisa is supportive. Well, as supportive as a friend who just gave the famewhore who just helped ruin your life a starring role on a Bravo show can be. Brandi knows she’s gonna die a wrinkled old maid, but it helps that Lisa adds “In my guest house.” Cedric is in his weekly hotel cutting himself and crying right now.
You know Kyle is desperate for a storyline when she drives her ass all the way to Malibu to find one. Yolanda is outside the house she drew picking lemons from lemon trees she most likely drew as well. Nothing like reinforcing your belief in creative visualization than imagining a tree, planting a seed, and watching a tree grow. She’s the Dali Lame-a. Get it you guys? GET IT?!?!
I tayl myzaelf dat I deserf dees tree teel it grow.
She tells Kyle that she grew her own lemon trees after doing the Master Cleanse cuz going outside, climbing ten flights of stairs and cutting lemons is easier than going to Whole Foods. Hopefully one day she will draw herself a book tree and it will grow copies of “How Not to Come off Like a Raging Asshole Every Moment I’m On Screen” until she gets it.
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102 Comments
I know I haven’t said this in a while… but I love you so much… especially because after almost five years you can still make me LOLOLLLLOLOLOL…
love, J-Mo
Classic episode with shit flying from all directions! Kim is on fire, Ken is my hero and Mo needs to take the family to SHUT THE FUCK UP MOUNTAIN! What. A. Prick.
And why does Marissa live in a 2 bedroom rambler? WTF is up with that??
Great recap Flipit!! Fave lines “When the meeting of the “um, like, um, like, um”s is over” and “most vile hideous rubber lizard football faced woman in history.” Hahahaha!!
Can I hate Kyle anymore?! I can’t believe I ever thought Maurice was attractive. Loathe that dude as much as his stupid hair swinging wife. Adrienne’s stupid blog is all about what an upstanding man of integrity Maurice is. Ehhh. Love that Marisa and Yolanda support Brandi. Must drive Vyle crazy.
Wow Maurice (thanks Kim). I don’t understand why all the yelling at Brandi. This is between women so let it stay that way. I appreciate Ken trying to jump in and help her, but pissed that Kyle didn’t ask him to simmer down. It really bothered me when Maurice said she didn’t have to listen to the lawyers. Hey I just gave these people 2K to save my ass I’m going to do exactly what they’ve told me to do. I also believe that Brandi has tried contacting Ad to apologize. She realizes how wrong she is. Brandi is a say it like it is type of girl but many people who are like that know when they’ve crossed a certain line and will apologize for it.
Fail has GOT to lay off the booze. I didn’t even look like they’d had dinner yet and she was already SHWASTED.
Not sure how I ended up liking Yoli this episode, but I did. Keep being the voice of reason.
Also how cute was Lisa almost crying and giggling like a school girl in her new swing. That was so touching that Ken did that for her.
But please do NOT renew your vows that is the reality show kiss of DEATH!!!
Maurice is such a douche. He is not merely kissing Adriennes ass so much as he is out and out giving the Maloof money a rim job. If he goes any deeper he just may find Adriennes soul.
I have my hopes up for an epic Twitchard sisters meltdown regarding ‘The House’. I like Twitch so much better, but the lil crackhead still won’t admit she was being a raging bitch to Brandi and really did deserve the accusation of being on meth. Ah well, this is the gene pool that spawned Paris, so what did I expect?
Great episode, but fantastic recap! Thanks for giving me a ‘happy place’ to go while at work today, Flipit.
I’ve got to admit. Taylor surprised me. Not the getting drunk part – but the part where she was wondering to Maurice what the difference was when her “private” business was put out there and Adrianne’s. She actually sounded, (gulp) almost rationale.
I do wish Brandi would stop telling everyone to shut the fuck up though. It’s not that I’m a prude (as my husband wishes I would stop telling people to shut the fuck up) it’s just that I think her message would be better received and people (the assholes she hangs with) might actually get what she’s trying to say.
I can’t get over how pretty, young and child-like Twitch looks in that last pic on p2. Almost breaks my heart seeing her like that – helpless, with nothing to look forward to, nobody to support her, and soooo much baggage dragging behing her. Se looks like a 10 year old lost girl, and suddenly I understand all her problems, her drinking, her fights with Vyle, her failed marriages, her hunting loneliness, her unfulfilled longing after sooo much else…
Showbiz is indeed a soul sucking, never-lifting curse. Any potential stage moms should take a look at Twitch – is the money, the luxury, the comfort of your family REALLY worth ruining your kid’s life and setting them up for a lifetime of failure and misery??
I swear Twitch pisses me off more times than not, but in this one moment, with her psyche laid bare for everyone to see, I DO feel her pain, and wish she could stop it. Nobody deserves a life of suffering and unhappiness, no matter how much they contribute to making it so themselves.
OTOH, MauriCE is a total pussy bitch! Geez, dude, you’re losing viewers’ good will in a hurry. Keep it up and you’ll end up even more hated than AdMan.
Maurice is an ass! Marisa works for Hilton and Hyland, I wonder if Maurice leaving caused any bad blood with the Hiltons? Next weeks clip shows Lisa and Ken blowing off Maurice because they are running late to meet up with Rick and Kathy. That must drive Kyle insane…
What an amazing RHOBH dinner! FOR ONCE!
What was with each woman getting their own entrance shot into the restaurant? Camille pranced in like she was in Brittany Spears Twisted Perfume commercial. I was also laughing my ass off at her dancing. Woman you still look decent but cut the ‘dancing for dollars’ schtick. Save it for the bedroom…please!
Maurice? You ARe the most disgusting person after all! Don’t yell at women, stay out of their business and take a hard look at your life. You and your wife spend plenty of time gossiping about others. Some people are just so utterly unaware of themselves… thank you editors!
Um why is Marissa “20th Century Fox Old Hollywood Money” living in a smaller house than Brandi? Good call!
Ok, I have to address Kyle’s wardrobe. Girl, I know you are short and probably a size 4, not a 0 or a 2 like the rest of these hoes but woman, bell bottoms are OVER and they’ve come back about three times now since they were first in! Get a stylist! And the cut out shirts? WTH? When they flashed back to the limo fight of doom she even had a cutout dress on then. Wardrobe Fail!
Holy Yoly needs to stop buying her clip on extensions at the dollar store and get herself a Brazilian Blowout. Yeech.
What is was with Failor calling Lisa LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZA. If I was there I would have taken her booze away. She is #embarassing!
Was anyone else confused as to why they made such a big thing about having to sit on the floor at the restaurant and then when they got there the place had chairs????
Eww Maurice. HATE.
bbwwaaahhhaaaaaaaaaaa——–OMGL– my cap code is such brilliance, I must comment on something right now!!!!
Cawfee says——Maybe when Yoli said “master Cleanse” Twich thought she said “Mister Clean”– I am sure someone has tried to main line it or at least chop up those little magic erase pads and smoke them.
cap code…………………………pew pew. pew pew.
bbwwwaaahhhhhaaaaaaaaaaa
Wah, Wah! Kennedy doesn’t have a private plane anymore, so sad!! And Maurcio can shut the fuck up anytime now, he doesn’t even have a dog in this fight. I feel so sorry for Brandi, she can’t go anywhere without someone bringing up the Ad fight. She’s apoligized how many freaking times now? Good for Ken for sticking up for her!!
Seriously LOVE when kim yells @ kyle “YOUVE SAID IT FIVE TIMES.. BLAH”.. LOL… May or may not have rewatched her saying “BLAH!” 100000000000x… oh and mauri is a scumbag… Viva Ken/Lisa and Giggy on his tiny life-guard-esque chair next to the swing
@featherhead LOVE THAT oh, and the $14m trust that is NOW EMPTY. WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Failor. It never had $14m to begin with you Ponzi scheming ass!
She constatnly complains about being stuck with everything since she had to sign off as Russel’s wife. Lady (and Ladies…) if you are in business or life with you partner in a Community Property state everything is 50/50 and falls to the surviving spouse. Unless otherwise specified.
How does this bitch not remember this? Her tagline the first season was that her relationship was 80% business 20% romantic. (Classic 80/20 rule BTW). I know how…she’s wet brained like Twitch is. DRUNK of some Boones Strawberry Hill me thinks.
Also, when she was spewing all that crap about the lies Russel told…Lady you aren’t even going by your first or second alias! JHC you make my brain hurt!
If my husband EVER talked to a woman like that…I would have hit him in the head with a hookah pipe. Who do these asswipes think they are talking to Brandi like that?.. They were all over Fail for the lawsuit thing when Camille was just stating the truth and now Brandi is retelling something true and they are all freaking out. You sign up for a reality show…guess what? don’t have skeletons in your closet that you do not want ppl to know about!
Fail needs to eat BEFORE going out so she is not wasted in the first 8 minutes. She needs a wingman to hand her a glass of water in between drinks…if anyone really \cares\ about her…she needs to mix some damm water in!
I used to like Mo…and then his personality gets in the way. Anyone watching this show would be nuts to have him as his realtor. I live out here in LALA land….he is coming off as a major douchebag…way up there in The Massengill Family tree…oy.
ok rant over.
captcha code…smelling salt…
I think this dinner was great because it was all over the place, so much going on! I mean when you said to Taylor “you could have left” i just laughed so hard cause when has Kim been the voice of reason.
I think Kyle needs to stop being such a B and be there for her sister. I mean its true that Kim “MIGHT” relapse but maybe if people supported her more, it wouldnt happen. She doesnt have a husband to stand by her and thats a big deal.
I also loved how Ken said “WELL ITS TRUE” whatever Brandi said and Lisa said “We dont want to get sued” Im sorry but Adrienne should have know, you go on a reality show things come out!
@gypsy – WORD! Taylor kills me with the hypocrosy! “I feel like I’m cheating if I date” Bitch you are cheating , just not on Russel (the guy you were divorcing) – how about your Married Boyfriend? That’s cheating too! $14 million dollar slush fund had me on the floor. Really, you thought there was money in there? She was probably all for the scams when Russel was doing them, enjoying spending other people’s money. Now that she’s left holding the bag – it’s ALL Russel’s fault. She got off easy with paying back the settlement with a ring and two pocket books.
I’m still not convinced Kim is sober! If she really was an alcholic (my money’s on pills and crystal meth) she wouldn’t be attending dinners where the liquor is flowing right in front of her face. Do Not Buy It. If it was true then Kyle is the biggest piece of shit for drinking right in front of Kim. Real supportive there Sis!
Ummmmm….I’m pretty sure Chef Bernie just blocked me from facebook.
I’d been his fb friend ever since he started giving Lisa mean looks in the kitchen. He fancied himself a celebrity and just added people randomly, promising gossip and recipes. He didn’t disappoint, even if the stuff he posted (the blurry Ipad abuse pics) was veered to have Ad come out smelling like a rose. Lately, my feed has been clogged with anti-Brandi or Lisa posts and articles that he finds online. He used to have quite the following on his neutral posts, now he only gets like two likes. Hahahahaha!! Adrienne is soooooooo hated. Anyway, he is still on this \Lisa is selling stories\ kick from how many reunions ago. And how Brandi is the worst.. he even brought up Russell wanting to sue Lisa.. (don’t remember that.)
Well, without seeing this episode, I kindly pointed out that when Russell threatened to sue, he was kicked out of a party by being pushed back into a limo. Talk about disinvited! Even with his threats of litigation, Bravo still aired the accusations. Yet, when Ad threatened to sue, her ‘reality’ gets bleeped out. Is it because she has more money and better lawyers? I did kinda point out Andy’s little F U to Ad’s lawyers..sure, he could’ve cut the whole scene which she probably thought he would do but nope..he just bleeped out the line and gave us ALL of the fallout which has to be more humiliating for Ad that had she just let Brandi say it and then denied it. I tell ya..Miss Andy is a producing genius. He satisfied Ad’s lawyers, gave her the bitch edit, and wrung 4 episodes of drama out of a single bleeped line. I guess pointing this out made Chef Bernie none too pleased. Now how am I going to find out how to make tamales? Who else is going to fill my news feed up with pics of Joan Crawford yelling? Somebody answer me!
I never really got on the Maurice love train…but damn that assface is a bigger twat then his wife!! All those two do is gossip about other people. He says he doesn’t want to be apart of the Gossip, but WTF, you again asked something of Brandi, and just sat there and stirred the pot like your dumb bitch wife does….
Man we got the signature swing my hair on the top of my head move, but sadly no spits…
When the limo pulled up to Marisa’s house, I was like, When did Kim move! It is kind of refreshing to see that Marisa is living “normal”. All though, with the Porshce in the driveway, I can kind of see why they live in that small house…But then again, how much you wanna bet Marisa actually owns that car.
Ok, I am going to give Fail a tiny bit of credit here…For once she said something that I can get behind.. She did tell Brandi, not to get up and leave, and not to let them see you cry. She told Brandi to sit there and stick up for herself…Other then that one glimmer of normalcy, everything else out her mouth was a bunch of Bullshit!!
Here is the thing about Brandi…I think she rocks..She is refreshing..But, I think that when she has tried to explain herself over and over and over again, and some douchey twatbag -I am looking at your Maurice-just keeps going in circles, she lets out her screeching harpy with shut the fuck up….But again, Brandi had every right to say that to him. Just like Ad in a way. I laughed also when she told him to go fuck himself…All Kyle did was roll her eyes. She did nothing to stop that. hmm
Great Recap Flip! I missed the first 10 minutes so I will have to go and rewatch again…
@sarcasatire — I wish I could feel sorry for you about being blocked by Bernie, but you are old enough and wise enough to know that if you mess with the bull, you will get the horns.
Mauri is right.
Brandi is a douche who suffers from a case of verbal diarrhea.
Of course, Adrian and Paul are douchebags, and so you have a case of a douche up against 2 douchebags.
Who shall we support? Who?
lol@crankyguy.
I’ve never been blocked before. I feel kind of special.
@Sarcas…you just lit up this board and my day! Thanks for sharing, so great!
Did y’all notice the second Maurice started implying that Lisa’s anger at Adrienne was stupid because no one cares about selling stories, Kyle immediately got in his face and shut it down. Looks like she’s fine with him attacking Brandi for her…but knows not to get on Lisa’s bad side.
I think she hates that she’s not Lisa’s number one friend anymore and is doing what she can to try and make Brandi look bad.
Favorite line of the evening….
Taylor, speaking about Kennedy ” She asked me, Mommy…..where is the plane.”
Taylor (sniffling) ” Honey……there is no (sniff) plane anymore”
WTF?? Forget Daddy, I wanna know where the plane at!
“WTF?? Forget Daddy, I wanna know where the plane at!” HAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!
Exactly…come on Kennedy…we have to do better…
@Annie-the student has now become the teacher as they say!
Nice theory @Jennasaisquoi. Kyle was rubbing her temples like Kimmie in Return to/from Twitch Mountain trying to make it stop!
Speaking of…Twitch has some serious cleavage! B( . )( . )M!
Am I the only one that see’s what Mauricio is doing? He knows their marriage is in trouble, knows they will be selling one and buying two houses. That is three, three, three commissions. Of course he is on their side. He already pocketed Lisa and Ken’s money, so he can fight with them.
Sorry I can’t feel sorry for Brandi. She has done so many effed up things, this is Karma coming back to bite her. Surprised she still has yet to learn to use a filter. You have children Brandi, time to grow up.
Taylor is a lying whore. Taylor here is the difference, Ad and Paul have shit tons of money and weren’t defrauding people, you don’t and were.
Kim is so much win in this episode.
Flipit I am reading the recaps in your voice.
Are we at that 1/2 point of the season already or almost done?
Fantabulous recap as always, and so prompt!
Kyle’s not peeved that Lisa’s replaced her as best bud. If so, she would’ve defended her at the reunion instead of going along with Ad’s attempt to discredit Lisa and hurt her business. She’s simply green because Lisa’s the breakout and got her own show – as irredeemable as that crapfest is.
If Brandi had the dough, she could’ve countered by going after Ad for calling her a drug addict on tv. Because Brandi spoke the truth and Ad and Paul have no legal leg to stand on. Ad’s lucky Lisa didnt come after her in court. Despite what that idiot Mo said, Ad’s allegations were potentially damaging to Lisa and Ken’s livelihood. Not petty at all.
Kyle’s officially made my list of most reviled housewives by having others do her dirty work, and for the way she’s treated Kim.
OMG, Sarcas!!! Now I want to friend Bernie just to see how hard I can bash Ad and be firmly Team Lisa/Brandi before he blocks me!! This could be a new game for the Gasmi! Now, if only the computer nazi didn’t have facebook blocked here at work.
I’m sorry, but what 5 year old, other than Richie Rich, asks where the plane is?? Really, Taylor? If you want to seem somewhat sympathetic, at least say Kennedy asked where the furniture or food went, not a plane, ya dumb bitch.
My captcha is count your change. A telling future for Taylor.
Mauricio is a mucus filled cunt.
Missed the episode, but excellent recap as always! Interesting – KEN wanted to renew their vows for their 30th anniversary?! I thought my husband was the only guy who wanted to do that! Usually it’s the wives jonesing for a party and presents. He actually wanted to renew on the 25th anniversary, at the cathedral with a million other brain-dead lifers, but I shot that down. \Are you nucking futs?!\ I believe was my reply. I was stupid enough to marry him once in public (I was so young, only 22 – jerk) I wasn’t going to do it again! He asked again on our 30th – proof that he doesn’t listen to me.
Ok, Ok, he’s a great guy, but sometimes, when the two of us are alone, there’s only one adult present.
I love a good Challenge reference on another thread.
And seriously, Kennedy how about where’s my dog? My horse? Failor is so full of #FAIL!
@Poopsicle, my stars that comment made me wince, well done!
Mauricio is gonorrhea?
Caligal, please watch Queen of Versailles, a documentary for the ages. It’s reality TV at its finest. Billionaire couple building their 90,000 sq ft mansion when oops…stock market crashes and they run out of money before the home is finished. I did find the family really likeable (except the curmudgeonly dad who cannot accept his fall from grace.) But the son, upon his first time flying commercial said, “What are all these people doing on our plane?” Hahahaha! To top it the mom signed up for a Hertz rent a car (first time) and asked the clerk what was the name of her driver. His blank stare was priceless.
Gypsy, I’m glad you enjoyed it! Caligal, yes..do it! Hopefully he’s still accepting requests. My friend is still on his friend list and peeked for me. Bernie has since taken that post down but has a few other links up. My same friend has been blocked by Taylor on Twitter. One thing reality stars hate, it’s doses of reality.
But @Gypsy, Fail had a dog in her arms last episode, when that “healer” came to cleanse her house…I’d be asking, “mommy where is the food. I don’t want another protein bar for lunch. Give me some Oreos and a PB&J, ya dumb bitch”. Oh and don’t forget my juice box either!”
Failor to Kennedy ” HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU NOT TO TALK TO ME WHILE I AM ON THE PHONE!”
Kennedy to Failor: “All I was gonna say is, all we have left are wire hangers, YA DUMB BITCH!”
What the? Mauricio has an opinion? And he’s going to give it at the table? My God. he thinks he’s people! Personally I think if Kyle is going to drag people to dinner to attack Brandi for her, Bravo should just man up and by her a Charlie McCarthy doll.
Sarc how awesome was that documentary? The best was when dad was all loving when the money was flowing but started to sound like my dad towards the end bitching about all the lights being on in the house.
LOL @ Gypsy!! I am cracking up here!!!
Mauri is a douche with the Hollywood looks of…John Turturro. Loved the guy at the end of the episode that asked what was for dessert!
Semi sobriety fits her like a half drunk glove.
@Flipit no matter how bad a mood I’m in, you always cheer me right up. So thanks!
That colory confession kurta Kyle had on was the same 1 Nene’s got. Then for the dinner Marisa put on the kaftan version. Are they testing out having a Real Housewives uniform?
It took a while. But I finally figured out that whole surrogate fuss is producer driven. Which makes Mauricio not only a sorry ass fuckwaffle. But also stupid. Unless he thinks Ad’s going to be his 1 and only client.
Because if I’m some rich fart wanting some real estate in BH I’m totally calling up the asshat that’s willing to get on tv and look even more like his mom’s worst ever reproductive choice than he already is.
From the promos it looks like next wk he remembers Ken and Lisa have got some $ too.
Anyway I want to vote for him to win the next Shut Up Mountain Crappie award.
@MK-That was Marisa’s husband that asked if they were ready for dessert! That was awesome!
@thisbuggs4u-thank yewwwwwwwwwwwww (NeNe style)
And yes thank you Editors for leaving dessert guy there for the last word!
Amazeballs!
@sarcastire #23 – Congratulations on being blocked! I’m a technological ignoramus myself, so I’m not quite sure what that means, but I’m sure it’s special. After all, you’re special to us!
It means that not only has Chef Bernie ‘unfriended’ me, which prevents me from accessing his page, he blocked me, so I can’t even pull his page up to friend request him again. He was ALL the way butthurt.
I’m still exhausted from Hurricane Fail. \I’M READY TO DATE! FIND ME SOMEBODEEEEEEE!!!!! But I feel like I’m cheating. I loved Russ. I HATE RUSS. GAWD. I’M SO HAPPY NOW! I’M STROOOOONGEEEEEER THAN YEEEEEEEESTERDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! Plane. No plane. *sob*. SIT DOWN AND BE HAPPY BRANDI!\
I’m dizzy.
@TWhit: I know, right? I’d hate to think of the terrible state Failor would be in had Russell chosen to live, instead.
If I have to listen to another one of these clinically depressed, substance addicted, personality disordered, bankrupt, and divorced harridans tell me how STRONG and how FABULOUSLY ALIVE they are… well, I won’t say what I’ll end up doing, because some teenaged fuckwaffle in Patchy Coyote, South Dakota, will carry out the act in a Chuck E. Cheese, and then the news will report that said fuckwaffle got the idea from this post and then… well, you get the idea.
COCK!!!!
SURLY SURROGATE SIBLING LOVE CHILD!
And ‘BERNIE BLOCKED’ hits 50 by a nose!
Aww man…I like BERNIE BLOCKED so much better!
COCK-BERNIE BLOCKED!!
@sarcasatire Congratulations! I can’t wait to tell people I knew you before you got famous enough for a real life house cook to start blocking you on Facebook!
Oh and can somebody post the link to the Chef Bernie page? I want to see if I can get famous too.
I would…but I’m blocked!
It’s not a fan page or anything, so I’m not sure it’s public. It’s his personal page that he just accepted a lot of friends for around the time he appeared on Housewives. He promised a ton of gossip and insider knowledge and recipes but besides the recipes, there was a bunch of vague \Lisa is a racist\ comments. He alleges that she thought he was Jewish and made some anti-latino comments. Who knows? I kinda doubt it because if so, he would not have hesitated to call her on it for screentime. When people, myself included, were calling him out for posting those \ipad abuse\ pics, his niece came on with rants full of horrible grammar and \do you, Uncle Bernie!\-s. If you wanna look him up, his full name is Bernie Guz…man.. (I put the … so he wouldn’t get a Google alert and know we’re talking about him. Then he would be suspicious of all requests that come his way, lol. The jig would be up!!
(He did mention sometime last year that he wasn’t accepting any more friend requests, but I’m sure if you appealed to his narcissism with a nice personal note about how much you like him and wanted to add him..maybe throw in his recipes, I bet he’d take the bait. Hope he isn’t reading this! lol)
https://www.facebook.com/BeverlyHILLSchef
Is this it?
Hysterical, “….Camille reminds us she’s a dancer…make the bed”
At least when Vyle was “doing the horsie” and whipping her hair she didn’t do the splits. So the restaurant wasn’t authentic enough for Her Beigeness. I’m assuming she wanted some sheeps’ eyeballs to go with the fetal lamb stem cells she has injected into her body. I’m hoping on the next episode she’ll demonstrate yet another use for lemons to us peons. Maybe homemade lemon pledge.
@Labowner, careful not to get COCK BERNIE BLOCKED!
@labowner..no, that’s his fan page. You can like it, he doesn’t have to add you. I was friends with him on his personal fb page; I sent a request and he had to accept it for me to be able to get his post in my feed and comment on them. If you search his full name, without the Chef title, Bernie Guzman, I’m pretty sure it will pop up. His picture, as of yesterday, was a black and white pic of Dubya. (I know..) He also lists his location as West Hollywood…Flipit’s neighbor!
My friend sent me the link: http://www.facebook.com/bernie.guzman?fref=ts
Now go get COCK BERNIE-BLOCKED!
Thanks you guys! I’m excited about getting another accomplishment!
Aw, maybe that’s the big secret. It was Chef Bernie in the petri dish with Maloof Hoof and not Fred Flintstone.
If YoFo wands to cleanse, she should just do a colonoscopy prep. Her innards will be so clean she could put David’s Grammys on dsplay there. And by the way, the human body does not manufacture “toxins.” If one happens to introduce something harmful into the body, like, for instance, a bad lemon, that’s what yhe kidneys and liver are for. When did people start giving megalomaniacal eejits like YoFo and Goop more credence than their physicians?
@Maud, Come on you just know Her Beigeness has to use up all those damn lemons she planted somehow. Next week–she invents the lemon high colonic.
What the hell was Yolanda doing to the belly dancers boobs? Was she tucking them back in? Giving her some money?
@MaudTherriault — don’t you know that John Wayne had sixty pounds of hardened, toxic sludge built up on the walls of his colon when he died? Without a Master Cleanse — or better yet, some expensive commercial product or spa treatment — this sludge inevitably builds up. No one can escape this fact of life! No one! Not unless your diet is perfect. Is your diet perfect? Mine neither.
Well, that’s the sales pitch, anyway. I even saw it on PBS during begging season when some “expert” on the subject was offering her books free in exchange for a pledge. She also just happened to have pills that would clear that problem right up which could be purchased from her website.
@ Aunt Dorsey (63) – are you sure it wasn’t Colonel Mustard in the library with the candlestick?
@sarcasatire (46) Who would not want to be friends with you? As for BERNIE BLOCKED – I didn’t realize he was such a delicate flower.
Awww shucks, Hatched One.. *blushes*
This show is as if The Hills picked up on all the cast members 25 years later. Running around Beverly Hills, drunk, married / divorced, trading BFFs etc. I bet Heidi grows up to be Failor. YA DUMB BITCH!!
Question! Who is Gloop????
Loved the recap. Flipit – you are top drawer. xo
And I do love Brandi – and it was nice to hear someone tell Maurizio to STFU…even though I do agree with another commenter that perhaps Brandi is too quick on the draw with the STFU’s. But still…it was good.
Gypsy, Gloop is Gwyneth Paltry. She’s comes off as some macro idiotic dieter in it. She makes it clear that she does not live in the real world.
@Dutch..I thought Gwyneth was GOOP? I think it’s the name of her website of something.. She gets pretentious and insufferable all while showing us she’s just a regular person.
Mauricio is the reason so many women get divorced. The first year (season), you think he’s this hot, super sexy man that any woman would be lucky to have. By year (season) 3, you realize you’re saddled with this mouth-breathing blowhard who either puts down your friends or stares at their bosom. The only reason he’s so hard on Brandi is so he can break her down enough to hate-fuck her. “I want you so much, I resent you and your perky tits.” Why do you Kyle is so encouraging of his misguided ire?
Ahhhhh I know now. I thought that thing was a flop.
I just read that Ad is dating Rod Stewart’s son, who is 20 years younger then her and was on Celebrity Rehab for herion and what-not. Niceeeeee.
You know Sarcas…I wasn’t going to go there on this thread but since you mentioned it, I will.
I have my suspicions that Mauri is a cheating neaderthal. I started getting that vibe last season. Let’s be real about this. He IS good looking he’s in the RE game which, let’s face it can get shady. And he’s married to Kyle. I see him as a social climber willing to do anything to reach the next rung and enjoying the benefits along the way. He doesn’t like the Brandi’s of the world b/c he likes his side chicks to keep their traps shut and just sit there and look pretty. Much like his wife Vyle did during dinner. I think he speaks in hushed tones to women when he’s angry but gets his point across. An emmotional brow beater of sorts.Not a Russel type. Let’s face it his mother is a shrink, I’m sure he is skilled in the art of manipulation.
@sarcas… that’s how much I care about ms. Palthrow-up, I really thought it was gloop, but I think you’re right. Tx!
I’m gonna have to watch season one again, because everything Camille and the psychic said at the dinner was true!! Kyle is a raging bitch, Mauricio likes the women, and Kyle brought Faye with her to the dinner to her her dirty work. We just didn’t know it then…but we sure do now! Someone get Ms. Dubois on the phone, I wanna apologize and invite her back to dinner, especially one that Faye is invited to…she had that bitch pegged from jump! I’ll ply her with cocktails, give her an electronic cigarette and just let her go!
I am thinking back to the night that Kim came to Mauricio’s birthday party and how he kept jabbing and jabbing at her and did Kyle’s dirty work for her until Kim and that blowhard guy she was with got up and left.
He picks on the weak. And kisses the ass of the wealthy.
He and Kyle are the worst!
He has the listing for Barry Bond’s house in BH.
For Portia’s sake alone, I sincerely hope Maurice does not cheat. By the way, I do recall Kim calling Mauricio Maurice, she gives as good as she gets.
Remember Mauricio is friends with Paul and not Brandi. Has it dragged on too long – yes. But Brandi did fuck up. She doesn’t seem to be letting go of the LeeAnn Rimes cheated on my husband crap; so she should be able to put up with the crap she spews around.
Bottom line if you have skeletons in your closet that you don’t want people to know about don’t do a reality tv show. Maloof is an idiot if whatever (I’m not convinced that surrogacy has anything to do with what Brandi said) Brandi said is the truth. Since Paul is friends with Brandi I’m guessing it was the truth. Not many had sympathy for Taylor last year and I find it hypocritical when they feel sorry for Maloof this year. Failor may be an ass but her daughter is as innocent as Maloofs kids are so I don’t buy that argument. I find Marrisas blog interesting. I wonder if she is hoping to be the new Realtor for the Vanderpumps and the Fosters. Whatever her reasons I like her because she manages to show what an ass Kyle is.
ClareS Taylor told so many damn lies it was hard to keep straight what was the truth and what wasn’t.
I think it was a very low blow from Brandi, but to be expected as her past behavior has shown.
@ labowner I can’t say if it was a really low blow or not. I don’t know what Brandi said. Adrienne has also said a slew of lies. I don’t trust her and it sounds like California child welfare didn’t believe her either.
ClareS the whole thing has become a shit show and I really wish all divorcing parents would learn to take the high road in public and around the kids.
Question – Andy didn’t care about Taylor, Kennedy, Ad, Paul and their children, but did bend over backwards to protect Jac, Chris and their family and didn’t show their issues until they were ready Why the love for Jac, but not Taylor and/or Adrienne?
@ labowner I agree these people seem more concerned with fame then their children’s welfare.
Andy is an ass but the only thing I can think of is he knows Jac and Chris arent lying but he thinks the other ladies are. Or maybe it’s because Ad and Russell (& Taylor) threatened Bravo with law suits and just didn’t ask nicely? If Ad did use a surrogate (I’m not sure that’s even the issue) she probably shouldn’t have lied about giving birth and maybe should have sat down with her children when filming began during season 1 and explained the situation. If she didn’t want them to know my thought is she should never have risked going on a reality show. Taylor is just an awful damaged human being, I feel sorry for all of the kids.
@Gypsy. I’ll take your point one step further….I see him cheating with rich, older women. Much, much older. Gigolo, thy name is Mauricio.
Dubois loves that about herself, KNOW THAT! (nice pull @Sarcas) Bring the bish back is right!
Seriously that bish was dead on!
Why have Kim and Marissa never met but Kyle has know her for years and considers her a best friend and knows virtually nothing compared to MCFR? Does Marissa hang with a classier more grounded crowd (if that’s even possible in LA)
I see Kyle throwing Kim under the bus so many times it’s sickening. She needs Al-Anon. You cannot hold an addict responsible for a relapse. Though, if Kim chooses to be around people who drink that is her choice and not everyone else’s responsibility to stop living as they normally do. However, I cannot believe that Kim is well enough (give the timeline in epi 1 of this season) that she is far along enough in her recovery that she can safely be around people who are drinking with out temptation. Also, why didn’t we see any of Vegas and Kim’s son’s 21st? I’m beginning to think she’s not 100% sober either…
@labowner am reading Most Talkative now. I am getting to the HW franchise part and I think that answer to your point can be found in the book. Don’t want to give anything away but if you haven’t read it, you might want to. Quick read.
I do think that Maurice is a gigolo. Thanks @Rosemary’s Baby for putting a label on it. That’s where I was going with it essentially. My whole take on the Richard’s sisters are they are all manipulative assholes. I really truly do. They were raised by a hellacious mother and they turned out hellacious in their own ways. I say Kathy being top dog. She’s at least smart enough to keep her ass off of this show. Or her handlers are smart enough.
@Gypsy,
I could not agree with you more with regard to Kyle. The last little bit of like I had for her ended when she sat in judgement of Kim and doubted how long her sobriety would last. Kim is taking it one day at a time and instead of being proud of her for every day, she is focused on failure.
I don’t think Kyle is good for Kim at this stage of her recovery. Perhaps Kim has been advised of this and that is why she doesn’t meet up with Kyle when Kyle summons her. Of course, Kyle says it is because Kim is irresponsible because she cannot tell folks it is because she is a terrible influence on her sister. Speaking of..maybe if Kyle would quit boozing it up everytime they were together Kim might feel more comfortable being around her. Less judgement, less booze should be on the menu at lunch.
And about Yooolanda and her “its not anorexia it is a cleanse”, diet…
Instead of Kyle saying something like “This may not be a good idea for Kim because she is taking medication and 12 days without food might cause problems and a healthy diet is important for her right now” she blames Kim again! And I know why. She hopes that Mario will sell Yooolanda the property for her to draw another house on.
BITCH
TC, Robin
Are we really going to peter out on Beverly Hills recap at 90 posts? Nobody wants any cock?
Surprise Surprise! Leann worries that her hubby might…Gasp! Cheat!
NO!
http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/gossip/leann-rimes-admits-worries-husband-cheating-article-1.1241312
Yoolanda wanted Kim to go on the diet of all those lemons that she drew. She is an idiot if she thinks that anybody thinks that she was trying to help. She was self promoting.
The idea of cayenne pepper followed by lemon juice,..doesn’t sound pleasent no matter where it comes out of..
http://allthingsrh.com/yolanda-foster-calls-out-kyle-richards-says-she-wishes-she-would-have-acted-more-supportive-to-kims-sobriety/
I betcha Yoolaaanda could poop out a whole scotch bonnet plant without changing her expression.
I have done the Master Cleanse many times in the past. It does make you feel better and any weight you lose comes right back on b/c it’s water weight.
See Master Cleanser by Stanley Burroughs. Or youtube it. Plenty of vids out there. The Getty heiress swears by it.
@Robin I am sure that Kim simply couldn’t/didn’t want to articulate why should couldn’t do a cleanse at this stage of recovery b/c I believe she is on medication (from the reunion interview) that requires her to take with food.
YoYo might have her heart in the right place but I don’t think totaly ‘gets’ being an addict as she is not one.
Good point about Kyle. Always be selling as they say…
How much
Darn, messed up
Now I can’t remember what I meant by..how much…
Did you know that Fail brings her dead husband to every event? I think he hangs out in the closet until he is needed to prove to folks that she has it harder than anyone. Her daughter doesn’t have a plane anymore, for goodness sakes people!
COCK!
10 posts in a row? No one can ever say you aren’t determined!
Nice work Robin! Thanks for carrying us over the 100 threshhold. Cock to you also!