And then comes the best part of the night, when Ter informs Mel that she wrote On Display for Teresa! Now everyone’s laughing, because really, what else can we do. Andy puts on his big round psychiatrist glasses and says that he thinks all these bloodfeuds circle back to the same thing – Ter thinks everything Mel does, including being on the RHONJ, is to hurt her.
Ter agrees that she thinks they betrayed her by joining the cast behind her back and then trashing her. Aaaaand more yelling. We somehow arrive back on the Danielle topic. This time it’s about Mel visiting Danielle at her house. “I have no idea where she lives,” replies Mel.
So why did you come on the show, Andy wants to know. It was an opportunity, says Mel, what’s wrong with taking an opportunity. Well, nothing as long as Ter hasn’t peed on it first. She poses the scenario that if Mel had been cast on the show first and then they came to Ter, would she have said no? Another moot point, because there’s no way Mel and her Pollyanna routine would have been cast before Ter in the first place.
“You’re a liar!” screams Mel.
“You came to destroy me!” Ter screams back.
Well, if nothing else I at least always enjoy a dramatic proclamation. Ter is accused and accused of still holding a grudge toward Mel and Kat for coming on the show but she just insists that she let it go, as you could clearly see in Napa.
Then she kneels at the little coffee table between sofas and bows down repeatedly yelling, “Thank you!” in a highly unpleasant screechy wail. Mel calls Ter fake. Ter says, basically, takes one to know one.
In the we’re-back-but-we’re-not segment, it’s the debut of Brown Smurf. He is dared by the group to chug a Red Bull, which he happily does. Probably because it’s spiked with vodka cause next up is Brown Smurf on the hot seat.
Andy informs him that many of the question were about him, so he’s grateful Brown Smurf has graced them with his presence. “Okay,” mumbles Smurfy. You seem not pleased to be here, Andy notes.
Very fuckin’ perceptive.
Andy starts off nicely. He tells Brown Smurf that his wife is “a popular lady”. Not just from RHONJ, but she has Apprentice fans and lots of twitter followers. “She’s a great wife, mother, everything. I’m proud of her,” Smurfy manages to grunt.
Do you watch RHONJ, Andy asks? No, but he watched her on the Apprentice. Then it’s a little Apprentice stroking, with everyone congratulating Ter on making it to almost the final four.
And then we get down to business. “You and Joe dealt with a lot, including rumors of trouble in your marriage,” he says. Another flashback, this of Smurfy talking about “some girl I was with” and “another girl” and Gia yelling at him about other women.
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