Time for another installment of… the Real Housewives of New Jersey! The RV trip has officially crashed and burned, and we’re back in Jersey. Specifically, at the Gorga mansion that discount drywall built.
Midge is flipping pancakes, dumping heaping spoonfuls of butter on them and humbly anointing himself “super Dad”. Mel is flitting around in some kind of alternate universe where she feels good about the RV trip. And is a world famous pop star.
And in an odd twist, the Gorgas are pretty much blaming Caroline for the whole mess! Mel says that she’s not forgiving. Midge says that she’s always talking about who said what. Mel feels bad that the she did not get to say goodbye to Jacquee, on account of all the sleeping.
Midge vows that he will always back his sister, and it’s off to the Guidices. It’s not quite the sunshine morning over at Ter’s place. The kids are all passed out in the same bed.
From the looks of it, an all-night bender of Teddy Grams and Capri- Suns.
Ter wakes her little dolls. Milania squeals like a small animal. Gia tells her to buzz off. Then they lay around the bed a little more. Also laying around in the bed is the Brown Smurf who is commissioned by Teresa’s yelling to make some sandwiches, and rolls over and grunts in response.
He finally manages to make it downstairs to throw some salami into lunchboxes. Shirtless, of course. Milania asks the Milkman’s Kid if they will be seeing each other around school. The Milkman’s Kid informs her that they might cross paths at recess but “I can’t play with you.”
Just pretend we don’t know each other. Playground politics are complicated.
We bounce back and forth between the Guidices and the Gorgas. Everyone’s taking pictures of the tiny kids with the humongous backpacks (I’m sorry, but what is cuter?), everyone’s got the video cameras out, it’s the same show at both houses…until the Guidice kids hop on the bus, and the poor Gorga kid is left standing on the lonely Jersey road while Mel chases after the school bus that in the midst of capturing the moment, they missed.
Not on display for the bus.
The Guidices now seem like empty nesters with only the demon baby still at home. Now it’s their time to catch up on the RV trip showdown. They agree that Caroline was on the attack, and Brown Smurf says he loved it.
Then he complains that he spent her 50th with her, and he wouldn’t have said any of those nice things about her if he had known it would turn out the way it did. I mean – Brown Smurf doesn’t waste his drunken ramblings on just anybody.
He makes a comment about how Caro needs to “go dye her hair”, which is hardly the low blow of the century. Then Ter sets the stage by telling us she was never really friends with Caro, she was much more Dina’s friend anyway. She also makes sure to mention that high and mighty Caro doesn’t talk to her own family, either which Brown Smurf tells her to stay out of.