So Ter decides she will be cordial, and then they move on to how wonderful it was to spend time with Mel and Midge, but that Kat is bad news. Brown Smurf is right there with another witty one-two verbal punch, calling Kat a stress doll with eyes that pop out and then comparing her to a frog.
Then we learn that Ter left some shoes behind that Kat is holding for emotional ransom, so now Ter has to go visit and pick up the shoes. Brown Smurf advises that she doesn’t have to be nice, she just has to put them in their place. Ter tells us how smart her husband is, and then drives him to the 7-11 to pick up beer and Doritos for the day.
She also takes to time to fill us in that despite the talk of divorce and sleeping in separate rooms, they’re just two kids in love and doing it in vineyards all the time. “Joe’s not going anywhere,” she says confidently. Well, except jail maybe.
At the Wakiles, Kat’s tense because it’s time for the slutty daughter to go to college and she wants to go away. With her active sex life, she needs her own dorm room at least. Kat’s biggest concern is laundry. Who will do her laundry? Who will maintain the April freshness of her teenage daughter’s thongs? “I’m old school,” she reminds us, like laundry is some kind of old-fashioned thing that people just don’t do anymore.
The daughter stops by on her way to the gym and mall, which I love cause it’s a total Jersey girl thing, and informs them that laundry be dammed, she’s already set up a tour at the University of Maryland. Lebanese Dilbert is all for her going away. He tells us he loves his daughter but he’s ready to hang out naked all day. I’m sure Dilbert Jr. will be thrilled with that news.
What’s up with Jacquee? Is she awake? Mel stops by and flat out asks her if she was really sleeping during the hot tub showdown. Jacquee says that she had already had her talk with Ter and didn’t want to get involved anymore. Besides, everyone just talks over each other, she adds. They then dully rehash a fight that had nothing to do with either one of them, and that Jacquee napped through.
Wait, so you’re saying it wasn’t just a bad dream?
At Kat’s she’s dousing an innocent salad with a lot of oil while Ter and the demon baby pop by for a visit. Ter is in stone washed jeans circa 1985. Only in Jersey. The demon baby seems to only know one word, “dolly” and she runs around parroting it. Kat asks how school was, and we learn that Milania is really excited to begin her reign of world domination at kindergarten.
Then Kat jumps right into it, asking Ter how her flight home was, and reminding her that she was helping Ter pack. “Yeah, thanks,” Ter snarls. Kat goes on to simper that she didn’t get to spend too much time with the star of the show on account of her hanging back to allow Ter and Mel to bond.