Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Blood Is Thicker Than Marinara

Recaps

By ChickBomb | Tuesday, September 11, 2012 | 10:36 pm | 49 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Real Housewives of New Jersey, Recaps

Car finally brushes it all off by saying she doesn’t care what anyone thinks, she feels good about getting Ter out of her life and she’s “here to help”. She doesn’t specify with what exactly, but I’m guessing if a new blood feud need stirring, she’s got the spoon.

And it’s a new day at the Guidices. And a new ensemble for Milania who’s complaining that she doesn’t like the shoes Ter has chosen for her and is wary of the their triple buckle action. It’s Ter’s Fabulini party that night, and because she can’t afford a babysitter, Mel is taking care of her kids. Well, some of them.

Mel shows up to pick up Milania and the Milkman’s Kid. It also seems to be very important for all of these toddlers to grab their purses and lipgloss before they head out. They are off to get manis and pedis, standard fare for the five year old set. But it is kind of cute.

Teresa’s kid doing bankruptcy. 

Everyone likes the treatment except our reliable demon seed who just looks annoyed the whole time and finally deems the experience “itchy”. Mel wraps it up by buying everyone a heart friendship bracelet, including one for her and Ter. Well now, that’s maybe taking it a bit too far. Even Milania rolls her eyes.

Meanwhile, the Wakiles have descended upon Maryland. Really? They’re really giving us the east coast tour of colleges and calling it entertainment? The most entertaining part of this whole event is the cruise wear the Wakile family has inexplicably decided to deck out in for the trip.

Aright, we got shuffleboard on the lido deck then to we gotta make the 6:00 seating.  I don’t wanna miss the prime rib.

The tour guide is a women’s studies major from Silver Springs who’s not in a sorority. In other words – a virgin. She shares fascinating tidbits of life at the University of Maryland, such as how you use your student ID for just about everything!

Kat continues her hard hitting investigation over how her daughter will have clean clothes at college. She asks the tour guide about it, but of course Miss Women’s Studies has been doing her own laundry since her divorced mother taught her to in high school. “Laundry is not rocket science,” Lebanese Dilbert tells his wife.

Then they check out the dorm room, which is just as tiny as any other dorm room on earth but the Wakiles are shocked at the size. And the lack of closet space. Well, I mean, it’s a public school. Kat thinks that the tiny dorm room might be the deciding factor in keeping the kid at home.

And we’re not done yet. We’ve still got to go to do some DC sightseeing. Resident genius daughter refuses to believe the Capitol is not the White House. They sit on the steps and reminisce about Dilbert visiting DC for the first time in the 70s. The daughter tells us the idea of college is very “whoa”, which I did not realize was an adjective.

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
About

49 Comments

  1. 1
    hot cawfee
    Posted September 12, 2012 at 6:36 am

    bbwwaahhhaaaa “invoke Dina”

    DinaManzoDinaManzoDinaManzo—said three times like Beetlejuice

  2. 2
    hot cawfee
    Posted September 12, 2012 at 6:44 am

    OK Chicky– have read both minicap and full recap–am ready to go in and watch the episode

    May I just say that BOOKS are truly the downfall of this crew—Lauren Manzo doesnt read–has come out and said so. We have THE BOOK from season 1 (re: Danielle Staub and I swear it wa Dina who got it and took it to Chateau to retaliate and to stir the pot), and the cookbooks and then Albie–lest we all forget how he failed out of law-school–where there are alot of BOOKS a law student must read.
    And now–cue dramatic music–Tiny Caro is writing a book!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  3. 3
    andyourlittledogtoo
    Posted September 12, 2012 at 6:46 am

    Gawd. Then the last thing they should be doing is teaching Milania to read!

  4. 4
    NotWithoutMyTV NotwithoutmyTV
    Posted September 12, 2012 at 8:41 am

    They ought to be teaching Milania to defecate into the toilet and to not groom other children for lice as a way of greeting.

    Albie didn’t get the hang of either skill until he was eight. Sometimes he still gets his shirt buttons in the wrong holes, but you know, he’s really come a long way.

    Dina really showed us she was above all this reality TV stuff, huh? At least she waited until she had something REALLY MEATY to return with.

  5. 5
    hot cawfee
    Posted September 12, 2012 at 8:44 am

    @4 Notwithy– the Big D is the first one to get this reality thing going ala Laurita/Manzo. She did an episode of “Platinum Weddings” held at none other than The Brownstone!!! And she has her own show on TV—she was Miss Andy’s fave tho.

  6. 6
    NotAlway'sPerfekt
    Posted September 12, 2012 at 8:54 am

    My favorite line from this recap…”She says she loves Dina to death, that they’re family, thanks Jennifer for calling and telepathically messages her stealthy husband to put a hit out on the bitch”. Hil.ar.i.ous! Thanks ChickBomb!

  7. 7
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted September 12, 2012 at 8:55 am

    I am SO glad I wasn’t the only one who noticed Kath drowning that arugala in EVOO!

  8. 8
    Sue
    Posted September 12, 2012 at 9:17 am

    I never saw the Milkman’s daughter reference before. Lol. I never looked closely at Ter’s girls until the mani and pedi and I wondered who the extra kid was but she was referred to as a cousin. Loved the recap. Can’t sand Caroline and the comments about her family not reading books but she is writing a book.

  9. 9
    labowner
    Posted September 12, 2012 at 11:37 am

    Does anyone think Danielle has the goods on Dina and that is why Dina did her best to have others take Danielle down? She is related to Caroline and Caroline likes to stir shit up and let others get dirty.

    Again, wtf is with the take a few inches of hair and pull it back? It looks so dumb.

  10. 10
    Lori
    Posted September 12, 2012 at 12:55 pm

    Love these recaps!!! The timeline in this episode was so off!!! This website has been really interesting to read if you are not a fan of the Gorgas: http://famewhorgas.wordpress.com/

  11. 11
    Sunshine
    Posted September 12, 2012 at 2:39 pm

    Dina is such a phoney and only showed up to get on camera in hopes that her failing show might get some play….don’t count on it. I laughed when she fell off her pedestal..literally.

    I’m sorry, I have tried to stay neutral thru the whole season but Theresa is just an awful self centered woman who would throw her mother under the buss if it would make her a buck.

    I hope she has time to slice sausage and cheese to bring to her husband in the slammer next winter in between her appearances. She was in my town about two months ago….signing her stuff….about ten women were on line…that 15 mins won’t last too much longer….ask Jill Zarin tick tock tick tock

  12. 12
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted September 12, 2012 at 6:51 pm

    All I can think is Tre as Karen in Gooodfellas smuggling in the capriccola and provolone and flipping out when she see’s the mistress a few lines up on the sing in guest book. Well the RHONJ version of Goodfellas no disrespect.

    “2R Rossi, Janice Rossi- stay away from my husband! Get your own damn man” All the girls in tow of course.

  13. 13
    thisbuggs4u
    Posted September 12, 2012 at 10:03 pm

    It was so nice to see the Milkman’s kid this episode, and she talked no less!! It did look like the girls were having fun with Melissa, but was I the only one that noticed that The Demon Spawn was feeling left out?? Milkman’s Kid told her to leave her alone on the playground, it’s no wonder she treats #4 like crap…#4 Audriana?? I do think that Audriana looks like the Milkman’s kid also

    As for this epi, eh. then again I have not watched in a really long time. Next week is the season finale, and it looks like it is going to be a 2 parter….Bring on Duckface Kim D!!

  14. 14
    eyediosmio Reagirl
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 5:49 am

    @Sunshine – I totally agree, Dina all of a sudden appears again for what reason? She was practically licking her lips at the opportunity to kick some sand in her sister’s eyes. It was just sooo sleazy, and I died laughing whe she fell, reminded me of when Vicki from OC fell on her ass. Loverly.

    I am cringing about next weeks’ episode, Ter makes Danielle seems postively angelic with all the mean girls crap she’s pulling. Like the bar owner just HAPPENS by without any help from Tre? Seriously? That’s so disgusting. She’s such an awful human being.

  15. 15
    hot cawfee
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 6:17 am

    hhhmmmmm…..”thicker than water”– this is also the title of the first RHNJ episode….hhmmmmm

    And yes– could not agree more–our A #1 pot-stirrer is causing the wedge between Caro and family

    @9 Labowner- I always wondered that too–Dina’s first husband owned a nail salon or hair and nail salon and Dina worked there. Then when they divorced Dina worked at Chatuea or another nail salon until she got on the Tommy Manzo payroll-oops I mean she became involved with Tommy Manzo. I doubt Dina was a stripper but I think there is alot more in her past that we know about.

    @12 Gypsy– bbwwahhaaahhhaa– great referance and DAMN–it paints a picture

    And gee…its time for Kim D already??? Have not missed her one bit

  16. 16
    labowner
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 9:02 am

    Gypsy why would Tre get her hands dirty when she can just sick Milania on her?

  17. 17
    Clare S
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 9:13 am

    The thing I think is the saddest about next weeks previews is the fact that Melissa really was sticking up for Ter these last two weeks and Ter rewards her by throwing her under the bus. Once again proving Ter is a scum bag.

  18. 18
    labowner
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 9:46 am

    Clare isn’t this season shown out of order since the fashion show was recorded before last season’s reunion thus why Jac didn’t attend?

    How does fall under “reality” Andy if you are messing with the sequence of events?

  19. 19
    Deguy123
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 10:11 am

    ^ I was reading Tre’s blog and they haven’t filmed since the reunion show 2011 last year, the kids going to school was actually in 2011 not 2012. They filmed the reunion after the fashion show but i’m not sure if after the fashion show they stopped fillming and then they filmed the 2011 reunion. So pretty much I’m thinking they filmed the 2011 reunion(Knowing all of the upcoming season drama), did no filming after that and then just filmed the 2012 reunion.

  20. 20
    Clare S
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 10:15 am

    @lab I do think much of this season is shown out of sequence but it still seems like at one point Melissa was standing up for Tre with Caroline and at some point after that Tre pulls the stunt at the Posh fashion show.

  21. 21
    featherhead
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 10:42 am

    Hey youse guys, I found this link that runs down the filming timeline, it’s really interesting – http://famewhorgas.wordpress.com/
    Also, per Theresa she has not seen or spoken to Melissa or Joe in a year, the reunion that was taped on Friday was the first time she has seen them. Guess the Poshe Fashion show didn’t work out that well for her, lol.

  22. 22
    Classy Drunk classy drunk
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 10:44 am

    I am concerned this person at famewhorgas does not have a life. That is too much.

  23. 23
    labowner
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 10:54 am

    Classy that is frightening. Can you imagine the home life or lack there of? What in the hell did they spend their time on before the HW franchises came out?

    If all of these obsessed viewers would take one hour (or add another hour) a week to volunteer we would have a much better world. Yes I do volunteer around my neighborhood.

  24. 24
    Classy Drunk classy drunk
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 11:06 am

    @labowner, because I am weird like that I always scan an article before I read it for length. That will determine if I read it and when I read it.

    I couldn’t even scroll down to the end before I thought-In the words of Kanye West “That shit cray”.

    Yes please volunteer your time rather than compile all the nonsense.

    I too volunteer.

  25. 25
    labowner
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 11:25 am

    By the way, is that crap Milania threw against the wall in the first photo?

  26. 26
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 11:58 am

    I can’t see it, it’s blocked but sounds like that’s a good thing.

  27. 27
    Classy Drunk classy drunk
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 12:03 pm

    @Gypsy, consider yourself blessed.

  28. 28
    featherhead
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 12:42 pm

    Sorry guys! I went to read it at work and couldn’t get it to open but the person who posted it put down “highlights ” of the post – stuff about them taping talking heads way after the fact that were scripted, Dina’s conversation that made sound like she was talking about Dina and Caroline in reality she was discussing Theresa and her brother. I’m going to try to open it now that I’m on my kindle to see what you guys are talking about.

  29. 29
    LaurenB52
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 12:57 pm

    lol at the comments above. The layout of that site is weird as hell so I couldn’t tell where one article ended and the other picked up so I just read a few things at random. A lot of interesting info, definately some revealing stuff about Melissa. Apparently someone who’s known Melissa for a long time might be joining season 5 to ‘expose’ her. I’d def tune in to see that. I’m not pro-Teresa but I’ve always gotten fake vibes from Melissa and I could def believe that she’s been setting Teresa up.

    The thing about Caroline and Jac that bothers me is that they have a habit of alluding to some unspoken horrible thing that someone has done to them. Dramatic tears and menacing stares and a promise of ‘it all will come out’ or ‘you know what you did!’ *fake sob* and then whatever the big sin is either never is revealed or its revealed and makes no sense. Do you remember the first season reunion when Caroline cried fake tears and yelled at Danielle for some unknown thing? Its the same thing with Teresa. She’s despicable and ugly and all those things and we’re meant to believe it’s about a joke in a cookbook when Caro and her horrible kids were making fun of Teresa back when they still were on speaking terms?

    Also they scrutinize and crucify Teresa for things they themselves do! When Tre speaks to Dina (a friend of 15 years and Godmom to one of her kids) about her issues, she’s trying to divide Dina and Caro but Caro and Jac didn’t even know Melissa and them and have become besties with them.

    I personally think Bravo knows that every season needs a villain and Andy didn’t like Tre and her husband for their use of homophobic slurs amongst other things so they decided she was it. They brought in Melissa because she was on board to bring Teresa down, and then maybe if her popularity was damaged enough they could just throw her off the show (like Danielle). This is why they switch the sequence of so much of the season. Bravo has seen that a significant portion of the audience is turned off by this and the editing lately has switched and is showing Teresa in a more positive light. Just my take on things.

    I wish Teresa was smart enough to articulately make these points. I think she knows something’s up but can’t speak clearly on it. There was a telling exchange between she and Andy on WWHL a few weeks ago about this

  30. 30
    featherhead
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 12:59 pm

    I just read it and it was exactly what I thought it was. They even quoted Chickbomb and this recap. I thought it was interesting and found nothing crazy or frightening. Can someone explain what I am missing here?

  31. 31
    amy fears
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 2:45 pm

    @featherhead, i thought that site was very interesting, put alot of the editing in question for me.

  32. 32
    featherhead
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 4:06 pm

    @amyfears – thank you!! My friend was reading parts to me out loud and I thought it truly put this season in perspective. Now it all makes alot of sense. I for one cannot wait for the reunion!

  33. 33
    hot cawfee
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 4:26 pm

    @ 29 LaurenB52– yes I noticed that too– I think it may have something to do with the Punta Cana Brawl that got Albie and I think Critterfur arrested and a lawsuit followed.

    And I agree with all who speak of Bravo editing– or as I called it Edi-rection –combo of editing and direction.

    We are being messed with youse guys–check out the lack of continuity on Caro’s hair (cut and color) and also (Jeebus Bravo!!!) the exteriors that we see thru the windows on TH’s. We know what bare trees mean!!!!!!!!

  34. 34
    Closet Fan
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 9:24 pm

    I have never liked either of the Kim’s. I spent time at the beginning reading the hatetheGorgas site. I says that Mel and Joe have tried to get of for a while. They were turned down until they promised to destroy Teresa.

    She came on so smug. If they are bringing on someone to now destroy Mel that would be great. She acts like an angel. I don’t care if Ter called her a copy cat or anything other name. That is about a low as you can go to submit an audition tape promising to take down your sister.

    I do believe that Mel was jealous of Ter’s growing popularity and wanted in to be On Display. I am sure that Ter has been a bitch many times over but at least she NEVER discussed her family and their issues on TV.

    I tolerated Kat until that laundry issue. She needs to STFU!

    Who else is not buying the rainbows and gumdrops life that Ter and Juicy, especially Ter, portray on the show.

    There are pics of them on Bravo. Juicy was thin and healthy looking. He is pathetic now.

  35. 35
    hot cawfee
    Posted September 14, 2012 at 5:55 am

    @ 34 Closety– I thought Mel’s witch sisters were angling for their places on the show–last season (God how long ago that seems) they and their husbands had alot of air time. I think Mel came into this looking to make it more of a Mel and her Sisters show.

    There will be alot of RHNJ episodes this weekend kids–if we can stand it at all–going back to the Christening when Joe Gorga got drunk and lost his squash.

    I noticed last night when I watched the most recent episode that BRAVO isnt watching their editing– watch the Manzo “kids” ages when they come onscreen– Albie has gone from 26 to 27 and back to 26 in a couple of episodes. SO much for keeping the time-line real BRAVO!!!!!!

    I am ready for the reunion–I am sure we will have 3 parts and then all the “lost footage” episodes.
    Sadly I and my wine will be watching.

  36. 36
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted September 14, 2012 at 8:25 am

    I think I herd long ago that they were looking to bring more of the Guidice side of the fambly onto the show. Now that would be something.

  37. 37
    labowner
    Posted September 14, 2012 at 9:21 am

    Gypsy that is what is going to tank this franchise. They need to get away from the family aspect as it is way too dark with these families. Bring in some fun loving people. Jersey is a large state, I’m sure they can find a few.

  38. 38
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted September 14, 2012 at 10:56 am

    I don’t disagree. I have enough bloodfeuds with my own fambly I don’t want to see anyone else’s. I want to see some rich bitches acting bananas not this interfambly fighting. It soooooooooo boring. I can’t even stand when Kyle and Kim are on screen together or Cynthia and Mal.

    Scrap this shit Bravo!

  39. 39
    labowner
    Posted September 14, 2012 at 11:44 am

    Hmm speaking of new blood. Who gets to recap the Miami mess?

  40. 40
    caligal
    Posted September 14, 2012 at 11:51 am

    @labowner…..good lawd, what hot mess Miami was last night. Couldn’t watch more than about 20 minutes.
    Bring on Beverly Hills!

  41. 41
    Classy Drunk classy drunk
    Posted September 14, 2012 at 12:07 pm

    I agree Gypsy. Seems like 3 of the 5 famblies on the show are doing bankruptcy. How much fun is that to watch?!?!?!

    The whole point of this show is to watch rich witches spend way too much money on crap and then tell us how horrible their lives are. I mean not to the extent that Aviva is doing but yes, that is what I want to see.

  42. 42
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted September 14, 2012 at 12:57 pm

    I was getting my hair did so I missed RHOM! Will have to catch up…

    Yes Classy a happy medium would be appreciated. JUST SAY NO to Aviva.

  43. 43
    featherhead
    Posted September 14, 2012 at 2:20 pm

    @labowner – I’m 99% sure Flipit is recapping Miami. And I hope he has it up soon, hint hint.

  44. 44
    Dramaqn
    Posted September 14, 2012 at 2:27 pm

    If you really want to see some rich bitches spend money on useless crap then youze guys HAVE to do yourselves a favor and watch Real Housewives of Vancouver online (there are a bunch of sites where you can watch the episodes for free). Those heffas even put the BH cast to shame! Vancouver is by far the craziest of all the HW franchises. I found all of season 1 online and ended up watching the entire thing in 3 days!

  45. 45
    labowner
    Posted September 14, 2012 at 2:51 pm

    Drama where have you been? I love that series. Christine (love love love love her) and her bestie now have a travel show as she doesn’t want to come back to that drama. South Dublin is interesting as well – funky old music and only 1/2 hour. Haven’t gotten into Greece yet.

    if true – wonder how Flipit is going to top his very dark and amusing recaps of BH.

  46. 46
    realhousewivesfan
    Posted September 15, 2012 at 1:02 pm

    I always could SEE right through Carolines fake Humility and shit stirring playing innocent card. Back in Danielles day so i never liked her. What Danielle did was in the PAST. they acted so rude to her as if she had hurt them in any way Just because she Expected the show to revolve around her family and didn’t take keen to an outsider joining. Now she wants to back stab TRE because she has fame she can market, and Caro is prob on the verge in defaulting on “The Brownstone” BTW i loove how you write “THE COOKBOOK” in caps.. to mock how draamatic, lmao.

  47. 47
    NotWithoutMyTV NotwithoutmyTV
    Posted September 15, 2012 at 2:01 pm

    Yeah, me too. Right from the beginning.

    Everyone else was saying “Wow, Caroline is the only wise, sane, grown up on this show…” and I was saying, “Nuh uh. She’s a sanctimonious see you next Tuesday, you’ll see.”

    And now you have.

  48. 48
    2muchbravo
    Posted September 16, 2012 at 7:03 pm

    DonCaro has gone ’round the bend. Just how is Teresa responsible for everything that is wrong in her life? What a condescending bitch.

  49. 49
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted September 17, 2012 at 6:36 am

    The more you know, NWMTV

Post a Comment

Your email is never published nor shared. Required fields are marked *

*
*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Human Verification: In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.